WEBVTT - Talk Daddy to Me: How to Be a Better Father 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:04.640 This is Suckers. I'm Kilan Bell, I'm Dean Bell, and 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:10.200 I'm Jared habn At iHeartRadio podcast. Hey there, everybody, Welcome 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:14.200 to an whole new episode of Suckers by Jared. Maybe 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:17.760 that's what we should call this segment, Suckers by Jared Sucker. Jared, 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:21.160 if you're listening to this, thank you so much. You're 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:23.880 only going to listen to my voice, which is quite 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:26.439 annoying for everybody. I don't know why you listen to this, 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:28.840 but I really do appreciate it. Also, thank you for 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:31.880 everybody who listens to the podcast Suckers. After our rebrand, 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:34.120 of course, we'll be having a brand new episode this week. 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:37.560 Dean and Kaylin will be back from their excursion. Ashley 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.760 and I just got back from Disney, which was a 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:44.600 lot of fun, a little stressful. I think, you know 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:46.600 my sister and my brother in law. You know, you 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:48.200 bring in a two year old to Disney's a lot. 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:50.159 I don't mind it because I just love Disney so 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:51.839 much that I'm just willing to put up with the 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:55.760 crying and the fussiness because I know deep down they're 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:58.280 having fun. They might not show it, but I know, 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.400 I know they're having fun. It was a great time. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.240 The hotel is beautiful. We stayed at the four Seasons. 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:07.360 It was incredible. It was so nice in proximity to 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:10.240 the parks. They had shuttles and they were only like 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:13.640 fifteen minutes away, which is great. We did Magic Kingdom 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:16.280 Hollywood Studios in Epcot. We didn't do Animal Kingdom. We 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.240 didn't have time, and we didn't do Universal, which was 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:20.640 really sad. But Universe was more of, you know, an 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:23.200 adult park. So Ashley and I were talking about that, 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:25.560 how we want to go back one day when you know, 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:27.880 we could do all the rides and Dawson's a little 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:31.040 bit older. Bringing a kid to Disney, yeah, it's a lot. 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.800 If you're not a huge Disney fan, I suggest don't 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:36.560 go until your kids are older and they able to 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.440 do a lot of the rides, because Dawson couldn't do 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:41.000 a lot and he's also just a very fussy kid 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:44.000 in general. So we were strolling him around and he's 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:45.720 just that kid who's like trying to throw himself out 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:49.480 of the stroller or you know, crying for no reason, 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:51.800 which makes me feel like a bad parent because people 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:54.040 are like, oh, he obviously doesn't want to do this ride, 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:56.760 and it's like no, it's like we know, once he's 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.360 flying or you know the ride is moving, he's going 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:02.440 to love it. It's just him getting through that stage. 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:06.280 So once again, yeah, if your kids aren't old enough, 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:10.000 I would probably say just wait. But I just love Disney. 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:12.160 I want to go. I want to go back right now. Honestly, 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:15.200 I even as stressful as it was, it was awesome. 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:17.840 And the one thing that I wish I did do 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:20.160 And this is a suggestion for everybody, and most people 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:22.880 do this, so you're probably already aware. And something I 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:25.040 knew we should have done but we didn't, which was 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:27.239 take a break from the parks, have a day where 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:32.280 we just chill out at the resort and take advantage 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:34.840 of all the amenities that they have. Hang by the pool, 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:36.720 even though it wasn't that cool, like the pools heated. 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:39.360 Excuse me, even though it wasn't that warm, it was cool. 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.040 I was like in the fifties and sixties. Mostly you know, 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:44.280 the pool is heated, they have a hot tub. You 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:47.959 can really enjoy that aspect of it. So I wish 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.520 we really had more time to do that. So if 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.760 you're planning at Disney Trip. My biggest suggestion is to 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.600 make sure you take a little break from the parks 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:56.959 because they can be exhausting as much fun as they are. 0:02:57.680 --> 0:03:00.200 But I wanted to talk about in this episode of Yeah, 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.160 I would be in a sucker. I wonder, you know 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:05.799 what's funny. I haven't listened to Dean and Galen's episode yet. Man, 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:07.799 I'm a bad podcast host. I wonder if they listen 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.720 to this. If they do, you poor souls. You should 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:13.240 have better things to do than listen to me. Even 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:16.160 though I really do appreciate you guys listening. It means 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:20.000 the world to me. I'm being self deprecating because, of course, 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:22.640 the reason I do this is to hopefully have people 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.280 listen and enjoy this, because if they didn't, then there's 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.080 really no point of me being on a blank talking 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:29.880 to myself in my wife's glamor room. I really do 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:32.000 appreciate you guys listening to this podcast and listening to 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:35.520 Suckers and supporting us in any way that you can. 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.920 It means the world to us, so thank you so much. 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:41.400 But I wanted to talk about an article that I saw, 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:44.680 because you know, I'm always looking to be a better dad. 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:48.920 And so there's this website called Daily Dad, and the 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:52.000 article said nine ways to be a better father right now. 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:54.720 So I want to read this article and go over. 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:57.160 There's nine ways that this article Daily Dad says that 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:00.400 you can be a better dad. Rate now. One, put 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:03.040 away your phone when you're with your kids, being present 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:05.120 when you're with them, and put away anything that has 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:07.200 to do with work or play, like your cell phone is. 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.880 It's very easy to get sucked into emails and social media, 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:12.200 but our kids that need our attention. You'll be amazed 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.080 at how incredible it is to simply be present with 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:18.120 your children and marvel at the fact that they exist. Now, 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:24.640 I definitely have gotten better with this, specifically as Dawson 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:27.719 has gotten a little bit older and has developed his 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:31.479 personality and become more aware and been saying that da 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:35.160 da dadda. I've been trying to be more in the moment. 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:37.280 Like a good example was this morning, my alarm went 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:41.480 off at seven forty five Sunday. Uh, you know, some 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.240 forty five is not that early, but I wanted to 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:44.360 say it a little bit earlier so I can go 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.000 to the gym, get my day going. And my alarm 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:50.000 went off and Dawson was in the bed because he 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:52.479 was a little fussy last night in the crib, so 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:55.600 put him in the bed with us, and he was 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:58.360 kind of snuggled up against me and like his little 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:01.360 fingers on my on my chest. I was like, well, 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:05.279 this is a moment right here, like I can't, I 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:08.159 can't get up, and also should I get up? You know? 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:09.520 Of course I want to go to the gym, get 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:12.800 my day going. I love getting active in the morning. 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.320 It makes me feel better, it makes me feel like 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.039 I'm being more productive. It really helps me set the day. 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.760 But when I was lying with Dawson, I realized, like, 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:22.680 how many more opportunities am I going to get to 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:24.359 cuddle with my kid? Because there's going to come a 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:26.279 time where he doesn't want to cuddle with me, and 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:27.760 to be fair, there's going to come a time where 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:31.560 I don't want to cuddle with him. So I thought 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:35.039 maybe I should just stay in bed and lie with 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:36.800 Dawson and kind of just look at him for a 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:38.640 little while. And that's what I did for about half 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:41.640 hour or forty five minutes, and it was really nice 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:46.880 because seeing your kid sleep in their most innocent state 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:52.280 is just it's really beautiful. It is because I know 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:56.120 that one day, as all my friends tell me that, 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.240 I'm going to look back at these moments and just 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:02.960 wish I could relive them. And I know that's going 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:06.479 to be the case. You know, I love the age 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:09.080 he is right now, even through all his fussiness, like 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.599 I love his age. He's so much fun in his 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:14.360 laugh and his little feet and the fact that he 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:17.680 can't say, you know, speak words yet is adorable. I 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:20.040 love the gibberish. I speak gibberish with him. I don't 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.520 care if people give me crap for that. And so 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:24.200 you should talk to your kid looking at you know, 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:26.440 like an adult, speak to him with words. He's never 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:28.600 gonna learn. He's going to learn. Okay, let me talk 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.120 gibberish for my kid. It's fun and it's not gonna 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:33.640 last forever. So I'm doing a trying to do a 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:35.800 good job of making sure that I'm staying president, putting 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:38.680 away phones and really just trying to be balanced. You know, 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:41.560 I was not good at balanced when I first opened Audrey's. 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:43.120 I was there all the time, My mind was there 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:47.880 all the time. It was not not it wasn't healthy, 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:51.359 but more importantly, just The only person I realized that 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.640 was going to be able to make change was me. 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.320 You know, everybody's busy. Everybody has a million things going on, 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:01.800 and I found that I could if I choose to, 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:04.000 I could always find something to do. I could always 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:07.600 be working. So instead, I choose to try to compartmentalize 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:10.240 and balance my time as much as possible, and I'll 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:12.480 be getting better at it. Still have a long way 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.120 to go. Just ask my wife number two on how 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:16.720 to be a better father right now. Set a good 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.040 example for your kids. It's easy to tell your kids 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:20.880 one thing and then do another, but just remember that 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:23.400 kids do what we do and not what we say. 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:24.720 If you want your kids to grow up in a 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:28.320 well adjusted, responsible and be moral adults, be a good 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:30.720 person on all fronts, and a father they can look 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:32.520 up to, well, of course I'm trying to do that. 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.200 I mean I think everybody's trying to do that in 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:38.360 their own way. We're not perfect by any stretch. Actually, 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:40.160 I went to a boxing gym the other day and 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.880 Dawson came with us. Ashley and I went. Dawson came 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.240 with us and he watched me fight, and then Ashley 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.760 was like, should he be watching you punch, and I 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:52.280 was like, honestly, yeah, because you know, fighting is a 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:53.880 part of life, and I'm going to try to teach 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:57.040 him that fighting is a sport and also it is 0:07:57.120 --> 0:07:59.600 the last resort in any type of altercation, and you 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:01.560 should throw the first punch. And these are things that 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:04.160 I want to teach my son because my dad taught 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.080 me and I think it helped me. And these are 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.480 things that I don't want to shy away from, and 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:10.040 so I think that's an aspect of trying to set 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:12.800 a good example for my kids, and like even you know, 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:16.320 showing him listen, you know, there's there are things in 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:20.040 life that are a part of being a human, and 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.360 that doesn't mean that you always have to act on them, 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:25.400 no matter how upset you might get at something. That 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.080 doesn't give you the right to hit something or yell 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:33.280 at someone. So you know, that's what I'm trying to do, 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:35.160 just set a good example. He's still young, so he 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:38.599 doesn't really understand a lot of it. But you know, 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:40.240 I'm getting to the point now where like if he 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:43.599 you know, slats me in the face even though it 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:47.880 doesn't really hurt, and he laughs because it's funny. You know, 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:52.520 I'm trying to not laugh back at him. It's tough though, 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:55.559 because he's freaking cute when he laughs, even when he's 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.360 hitting me. But I'm trying to teach him like, no, 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.040 we don't do that, gentle, because as much as it 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.000 doesn't really hurt me, like if he slaps Ashley, it's 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.520 gonna hurt her a lot more. So trying to, you know, 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:10.000 teach him like, no, you can't slap anybody, buddy. I'm 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:13.040 just giving examples. And he was slapping well before we 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:15.719 went to the boxing class, so please don't be like, oh, 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.440 well he saw you punched them. He's gonna punch, like dude, 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:20.199 he's been punching way before he ever saw me throw 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:34.440 a punch. Number three. Commit to one date a week. 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:36.800 Your kids will thank you. Make a commitment to go 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:38.560 on a date once a week. It will take time 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:43.440 away from your kids. Oh, a date with your A 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:48.120 date with my wife. I thought, a date with your kids. 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:49.679 All right, Well here we go. This is different then, 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:51.480 because I was gonna say we should I should go 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:53.079 on a date with Dawson every week, like just the 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:55.680 two of us really spend some bonding time. But okay, 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:57.080 I guess I can go on a date once a 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:58.800 week with Ashley. To make a commitment to go on 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.160 a date once a week, it'll time away from your kids, 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.320 but the trade off is worth it when your kids 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:06.960 know that their parents are a unit. Learn how to 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:09.800 respect your partner and be a giving man. Do whatever 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:12.000 you can do to make life easier for your spouse, 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.319 whether that's going to the grocery store after work or 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:16.520 giving the kids baths so your partner can rest after 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:18.720 a long day. Yeah, of course, I've been trying to 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.240 do that. Like when we got back from Disney, I 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:23.000 told Ashley just go to the bedroom for like three 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:24.520 hours and take a nap and eat some food and 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:27.120 chill out. And then I took care of Dawson game 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:28.559 and bat did all that stuff. And I tried to 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:31.120 do that on a regular basis, but she does a lot. 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:33.040 I mean, we're just both really busy. We both do 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:36.960 a lot, you know, for Dawson, and I'm at Audiers 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:38.480 all the time, and we do a lot for social 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:41.880 and that's a hard balance to take. What Ashley and 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:43.680 I really need to do, and I completely agree with 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:45.520 number three, is to go on a date. The two 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:49.760 of us because I love Dawson more than anything, but 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:54.079 I also love Ashley, and I've known Ashley for far 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.640 longer than I've known Dawson, and I think you know 0:10:56.720 --> 0:10:58.520 you have to prioritize being a father, but you also 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:03.000 have to prioritize being a husband. It's not easy. Number four, 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:06.080 address the wounds in your past. Only are your children 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:09.400 suffer for them. Many of us unconsciously rehash the past 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:11.520 by interacting with our kids in the same way our 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:14.280 parents dealt with Some of us, some of these interactions 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:17.040 are positive. Maybe your dad read a particular book to you, 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.960 and that special memory is something you relive every time 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.160 you read your child the same book. But other things 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.319 are not so positive. Many times, in an attempt to 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:27.680 heal our own inner wounds, we relive these moments with 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.880 our children. Take stock of how you react to your 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:33.600 kids when they misbehave. Are you using any phrases or 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:35.880 doing any actions that remind you of something that happened 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:37.760 when you were a child. You'll be amazed at the 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:44.079 amount of parental mistakes we unconsciously carry into the next generation. Yeah, 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:48.000 I guess I don't know. I had a pretty great upbringing, 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:50.960 Like it wasn't perfect, but you know, my parents loved me. 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:54.280 They supported me in so many different ways and were 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.880 always there for me. My dad was at every single game, 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:02.400 I'm not joking, every single sports game ever play, baseball, soccer, football, 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:07.839 he was there. And like, as an adult thinking about that, 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:11.440 how my dad was at every single game I ever played, 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:14.600 even if I didn't play and I was riding the bench, 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:20.920 he was there. You know that means more to me 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:26.560 than words could ever describe. So, you know, I don't 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:30.160 know if I have to address the wounds, but I'm 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.440 just talking about like things that my dad did to 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:34.400 me that I'm passing on to Dawson or I hope 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:36.040 to do for Dawson. That would be one of them, 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:38.800 Like just just to be there for him, Just to 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:41.760 be there for him. Number five, don't overshare things with 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:45.120 your kids. Whoopsies. It's not appropriate to share our adult 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:48.240 problems with our children and children it's even more inappropriate 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:51.560 to expect them to help us through them. Realistically, every 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:53.640 man is going to have problems in life. You may 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:55.959 have difficulties at work, with your spouse, with your parents, 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:58.960 or making ends meet. Finding a healthy outlet for that 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:01.920 stress and talk about with the right people, not your kids. 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.200 If you and your spouse need to have an argument, 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:06.120 don't argue in front of your kids. Put it off 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:08.600 until later. Who knows, you may even need to lose 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.680 the arg Excuse me, you may even lose the need 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:16.720 to argue. Huh, yeah, of course, I mean Ashley and I. 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:18.679 You know, he's kind of so too young now, but 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.360 maybe he's getting into an age where he might be 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.600 able to realize that mommy and daddy are fighting. So 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:24.480 we want to make sure that, you know, if we 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:27.120 have to have some sort of not argument, but like 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:31.160 intense conversation, that we do it away from Dawson. You know, 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.079 I'm lucky Ashley and I don't really argue that much, 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:39.360 Like I really don't raise our voices at all. But 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:41.120 you know, if we end up getting in an argument, 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.160 we'll sure to do that away from Dawson. Number six, 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.720 Get to know your kids, well, Yeah, do you know 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.080 your kid's favorite flavor of ice cream? I have no idea. 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:49.880 I don't know if Dawson has one. Do you know 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:51.679 their favorite book or movie? Do you know what kind 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:53.840 of music they like? I do? I like it, I 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:57.160 know it all. The kid is just obsessed with Aladdin. 0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:00.680 He loves Aladdin. He wants Aladdin, and that's all he 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:03.960 wants in life. But those football too, which makes me happy. 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:07.160 I play him the NFL themes, you know how, like 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:11.840 each station has its own NFL theme, CBS, Fox, NBC. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.480 I play that for him and he loves it so much. 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.640 He loves the music. It makes me so happy. I 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.440 feel like we're going to really bond over sports later 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.920 in life. Here he comes right now with his little truck, Dawson. 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.920 You're rolling into the podcast bro number seven on how 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.560 to be a better father. Don't have unfair expectations for 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:31.920 your kids. It's fair to expect your kids to be responsible, 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:33.600 to do their chores, try their best at school, and 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:35.720 have respect for other kids and adults. After all, you 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:37.720 want your kids to grow up in a well adjusted 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.880 into well adjusted adults, not just because it will make 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.080 you happy, but because it will help them succeed in life. 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:44.640 But it's not fair to expect your kids to be 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:46.920 something that you want them to be, or in order 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:49.440 to fill your own unfulfilled dreams of being a rock 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:53.080 star and athlete or a world class chess player. Yeah, 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:54.560 I think I'll be fine. With that, Like, I just 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:56.520 want Dawson to be happy. He doesn't have to be 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:59.600 anything in particular, Like, as long as he is successful 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.800 in his own heart, in his own mind, I'm happy 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:04.880 with that. I mean, like, I want him to do sports, 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.000 play sports, simply because that was the way that my 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:11.360 dad and I bonded over sports, and so that's kind 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:16.200 of what really is important to me. But I mean, 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:18.720 if Dawson ends up finding something that's really meaningful to 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.400 him and important to him, I know I'm going to 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:25.000 find it important as well, because it's important to him, 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.320 and I recognize that there's really like I can't even 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:29.320 think of a profession that I want him to be, 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:31.200 you know what I mean. I mean, he could just 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.160 do whatever he wants. As long as he's successful and 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.280 healthy and safe and doing the things that he likes 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:38.760 to do and being able to make ends meet doing it, 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:41.800 I'm fine with that. Number Eight. To be patient with 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:45.400 your kids. Tell me something I don't know. It's challenging 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.560 to be patient with kids, no matter their age. When 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:51.800 kids are little, they throw tantrums over the most ridiculous things. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:54.120 Tell me about it. When they're older, they'll test the 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:56.920 limits and push the envelope in ways though I have 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:00.880 you growing more gray hairs. Just remember that kids, well 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.080 they're kids. They don't know how to act yet, and 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:04.880 we have to do our best to be there for 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:08.200 them in moments where they will inevitably mess up. Yeah, 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:09.880 I mean, I couldn't agree more. I mean, I just 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:11.920 want to be there. I know Dawson's going to mess up, 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:14.800 you know, like it's just gonna happen. I hope and 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:18.760 pray that Ashley and I do a good enough job 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:23.680 of raising him and making sure that even when he 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:28.080 does mess up, it is not, you know, a scary 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:31.000 mess up. And I'm sure every parent has has fears 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.040 of that that puts his own life in danger or 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:39.360 somebody else's or you know, breaks the law. You know, 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:43.560 that's obviously very scary. But like, I know this, I 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:45.440 know I'm always going to be there for him, like 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:46.720 and I want to make sure that he knows that 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:48.680 and understands that because that's what my parents said to me. 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.400 And it's just the most important thing that ever happened 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:53.800 in my life was knowing that my parents will always 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:55.920 be there for me no matter what happens. And I'm 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.200 always gonna be there for Dawson no matter what happens. 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:01.280 Number nine, make time for yourself. Off here we go. Finally, 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:05.760 something about me. It's hard to be your best self 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:08.680 for anyone when you don't have time for yourself. If 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:10.320 you're stretched, then you're not going to be able to 0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:12.919 implement any of the tips we've outlined above. To that 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:14.960 and make sure you're taking care of yourself when you 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:16.480 have kids. It could be easy to get wrapped up 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:18.560 in the business of life and miss the little details 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:22.280 that make a big difference towards your well being. Yeah, well, 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:24.560 that's very sweet. Thank you for in the article. On 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:29.280 a nice note, I definitely, you know, try to do 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:31.160 as much as I can for myself, and honestly, I'm 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.600 I'm happy, you know. I mean the like I get 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:38.880 to go to the gym, which is fantastic and really 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.440 gets my mind right, and sometimes I get to play sports. 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:42.960 I wish I could play more, but like when I 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.000 have the opportunity to play sports, to go to the gym, 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:52.600 that really kind of gives me a clarity and happiness 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.359 that I need in my life. Because I remember when 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.919 it first opened Audrey's and you know, Ashley wasn't too 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.960 happier Rhode Island. We had Dawson, and I had no 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:05.120 time to work out, I had no time to play sports. 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:06.840 I felt like a bump on a log even though 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.200 I was working all the time. It was like I 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:12.840 was just losing muscle and gaining a muffin top, and 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:16.040 just I felt like, you know, I just felt awful 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:18.800 about myself. And I had a lot, you know, I 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.439 just then when I felt awful about myself physically, I 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:26.399 felt awful about myself emotionally and mentally. And you know, 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:28.119 going to the gym and working out really helps me 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:29.840 with that. And that's kind of what I do for myself, 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.520 and that is very important. Let me read the final 0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:36.920 word on this on this dad website. What is it 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.480 called again? It is called Daily Dad. Nine things to 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:42.080 make yourself a better father. Right now, here's the final 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:46.000 word from that article. Being a father is a lifetime journey, 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.160 and it's when we pass on to our kids as 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:53.639 they turned as they in turn become parents. Though being 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:58.080 good father? Is it me? Or is this just worded weirdly? 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:02.240 Though being a good father requires tremendous self discipline and 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:05.560 personal growth. You won't regret putting in the effort to 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.840 build a better relationship with your kids and become the 0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:11.359 father they deserve. Don't be hard on yourself when you 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:14.680