1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: Fellow ridiculous historians, what is the Is there a moment 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: in your life where you really impressed yourself with your 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: bedside manner, your smooth talking ability. 4 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:12,960 Speaker 2: Have you ever yes. 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: ANDed your way into a ridiculous situation, because we have. 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 2: I love the idea of like having good bedside manner 7 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 2: with yourself and like being impressed by no It's true, 8 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 2: ben bedside manner is important. And in eighteen oh five, 9 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 2: two Frenchmen found themselves in quite the what do they 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 2: call those things, the cornichon, you know, the little pickles. 11 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 2: That of Jean Lane and Jakim Mura who needed to 12 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 2: cross the Danube at the Tabor Bridge, which is a 13 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 2: series of three bridges actually in order to reach Vienna. 14 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 2: This is another war story. This is a war debacle, 15 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,560 Speaker 2: a little bit of a war oopsie. 16 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is also a this is a great con story. 17 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: This would be cool to make a into a film 18 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: for the Ridiculous History Somatic universe, because as we'll see, folks, 19 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: these guys clearly had to have had had to have 20 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: taken something like an improv class, and we're going to 21 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: journey with them as they con their way through those 22 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: three bridges without firing a single shot. Ridiculous History is 23 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio. Bonjours Ridiculous Historians, and welcome to 24 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: the show. We'd like to begin by giving a profound 25 00:01:55,760 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: and sincere thank you to Napoleon Bonaparte, who has done 26 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: so much for this program. 27 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, man, he you know, he taught us how to 28 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 2: love again. 29 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: He taught us that rabbits can be a threat. He 30 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: taught us that a little bit of hutspli goes a 31 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: long way. 32 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. He taught us about the inherent beauty of a 33 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 2: swanlike neck and a luxurious ringlet filled maine. 34 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, we are going to talk about one of Napoleon's 35 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: officials who epitomize that. But first things first. I'm Ben, 36 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,359 Speaker 1: I'm no, and we are joined with our super producer, 37 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: Casey Pegram and give it up for him, folks. 38 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 2: I don't know why it sounds so downtrodden when I 39 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 2: said that. I was just trying something new, trying a 40 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: new cadence. You know, I don't know. 41 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: And sometimes we need to try new and unorthodox things 42 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 1: when the traditional methods aren't quite working, or even when 43 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: we need something new. 44 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 2: Ben, your mastery of the segue never ceases to amaze 45 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 2: balls me. 46 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: That's very kind man. Thank you for saying so. Our 47 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: story today takes place during the nople Wars. 48 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 2: Oh boy, you know those Napoleonic Wars. It was that 49 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 2: conflict that lasted from around eighteen oh three till eighteen fifteen. 50 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 2: We're Napoleon. It was like Napoleon versus the world, or 51 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 2: at least Europe. But he had overthrown the during the revolution, 52 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,519 Speaker 2: the French Revolutionary government, and installed himself as Grand High 53 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: conquering Emperor of France. And you know, he had designs 54 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: on extending that title to as much of the world 55 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 2: or the lands that he could get to as humanly possible. 56 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: And whomever it was that gave us a shout out 57 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: for calling it a mixtape of European powers vultronning together. 58 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 2: Oh was you, dude? You said you said that we're 59 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 2: a team. No, dude, I mean, I'm glad to be 60 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 2: part of your vultron, but you are clearly the head. 61 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, we're a team. And if we were, 62 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 2: if we did have a hierarchy, I think we could 63 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: both agree. Casey is the head. I am no, no, no, 64 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 2: I am the left shoulder. Casey is like the torso 65 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 2: or maybe the sword, and you, sir, are the head. 66 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: The reason I like the comparison of Casey being the head, 67 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: and I appreciate this, But the reason I like the 68 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: idea of Casey being the head is because, folks, the 69 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: podcast you are hearing now has been spun from straw 70 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: into gold by as super producer. 71 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 2: Oh. I think it's a team effort there as well. 72 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 2: We're all kind of spinning straw into gold. But Casey 73 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 2: in particular works magic. He's a magic mouseman. 74 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: Yes, there we go. I like that, and our story 75 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: today is similar in terms of spinning straw into gold. 76 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: It takes place on the thirteenth of November in eighteen 77 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: oh five, so just. 78 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 2: A couple of years into this massive conflict. 79 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, just a couple of years into this 80 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,799 Speaker 1: conflict that will continue until eighteen fifteen for ten more years. 81 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 2: Right. 82 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: There are two marshals in Napoleon's forces and they are 83 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: battling Austrians near a town called Spitz, which is located 84 00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,679 Speaker 1: on the Danube River. 85 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, which is I believe near Vienna. And you said 86 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 2: this was in Austria, so they were fighting the Austrian 87 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 2: forces who were were no slouches. They were pretty intensely 88 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 2: good at at at war and defending their their territory. Right. So, 89 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 2: as you said, the French were being led by these 90 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 2: two marshals. One of them was named Jean Lane Casey, 91 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 2: Jean Jean Lent Casey. 92 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: On the case, I like Jean, It's great. Who's the 93 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: next guy? 94 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 2: The next guy? I think I got this one? Now, yeah, 95 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 2: I got this one. Murat Mura Murrah and Quaquim is 96 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 2: it Juaquim Joaquim Juaqim? 97 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, Jaquim. I don't know, Casey. 98 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 3: I think in the in French it's Joaquim, Joaquim, joaquim 99 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 3: j something like that. 100 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 2: Jacquim Okay, I. 101 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 3: Think they Yeah that the j is a little more apparent. 102 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 2: Pronounced Jauquim murrat okay. Double see on the case, double time, 103 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 2: double time, Casey, guess right. And this dude, actually he 104 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 2: was Jaquim Napoleon. 105 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: Morat, yes, dashed Napoleon. 106 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 2: Isn't it funny that he got the guy's first name 107 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 2: as a weird little sub name for marrying his sister 108 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 2: Caroline m M. You'd think he would have gotten the 109 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 2: Bonaparte hyphenate in there. But no, no, sir, he got 110 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 2: a Napoleon in there. 111 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,719 Speaker 1: Now, let's talk a little bit about these guys before 112 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,559 Speaker 1: we get to their adventures. So at first it looks 113 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: like they're not going to have a great day. Tensions 114 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: are running high. Jalquim Murat or jiel Chino Morat was 115 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: born in seventeen sixty seven and he became one of 116 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: Napoleon's most celebrated marshals. As a matter of fact, after 117 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 1: this day that we discussed in today's episode, he later 118 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: becomes the King of Naples. He was the son of 119 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: an innkeeper. Unlike Drake, he actually did start from the bottom. 120 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: He studied briefly for a career in the church, but 121 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: he enlisted in a cavalry regiment in seventeen eighty seven, 122 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: and when war broke out in ninety two, he was 123 00:06:54,440 --> 00:07:00,120 Speaker 1: rapidly promoted. And when Napoleon was trusted with suppress a 124 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: Royalist insurrection in seventeen ninety five, Marat joined up and 125 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: Napoleon liked him so much, and specifically his contribution in 126 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: bringing cannon to bear. One in more place is an 127 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: aide de camp to Bonaparte for the Italian campaign in 128 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: seventeen ninety six ninety seven, So by the time eighteen 129 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: oh five rolls around, this guy is seasoned. And we 130 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:28,119 Speaker 1: don't want to judge people on appearances, but I think 131 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: the three of us can agree this guy has some 132 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: amazing portraits of himself. 133 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 2: Well, we all do. All of these French military dignitaries 134 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 2: were super well dressed in these outfits. They just don't 135 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 2: seem very functional for. 136 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: Me at a super garish She was also a real 137 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: smoke show. He looks like a hair commercial. 138 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 2: Oh I know, it looks like a commercial for product 139 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 2: for Claire om perm kid or something. 140 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: I was seeking Claire all herbal essences, neither of which 141 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: responses of our show. We're just making a comparison, but 142 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: we'll take it. But we will take it. If you 143 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: are listening, Claire all irbl as. 144 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 2: Or maybe some kind of relaxer I don't know. 145 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like you said, some kind of perm kit. 146 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: But he and his compatriot's fellow Marshal Jean Loon. He 147 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: was born in seventeen sixty nine, and he would go 148 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: on to become one of Napoleon's most prized general's Napoleon 149 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: when speaking of Jean Long famously once said I found 150 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 1: him a pigmy and left him a giant, which is 151 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: a very self aggrandizing way to look at somebody's success. 152 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 2: Well, that's also kind of interesting considering what people say 153 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,199 Speaker 2: about Napoleon's height, you know, as though he was able 154 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,559 Speaker 2: to lift men up from small stature to giant. 155 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:42,199 Speaker 1: Dude, which we did establish was British propaganda. Oh really, Yeah, 156 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 1: and I choose to still like to believe it. He 157 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: wasn't actually extraordinarily short. 158 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 2: I told a friend of mine that I was doing 159 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 2: an episode, we were doing an episode Napoleon today, and 160 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,560 Speaker 2: she sent me a gift of a cartoon of Napoleon 161 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 2: riding a very very small horse looking very sad. The horse, 162 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 2: not Napoleon. Yeah. 163 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: It was one of the most effective pro Baganda campaigns 164 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: in Western history. So back to this day, November thirteenth, 165 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: eighteen oh five, Jean and jacquem are guiding their forces, 166 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: as as you said, nol on their way to Vienna. 167 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:19,320 Speaker 1: But there's a very important bridge that they have to cross. Yeah, 168 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 1: the Tabor Bridge. The Tabor Bridge or Tabor Bridge, I 169 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: don't know. I'll go with that. I support that. 170 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 2: Listeners don't don't bother writing us in with your particular 171 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 2: pronunciations of it unless you really feel strongly about it. 172 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 2: We might, I don't know, it'll still annoy us. It's fine. 173 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,319 Speaker 3: We love you though, We love all of you, each 174 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 3: and every one of you. Casey's a pronunciation corner, real quick. Yeah, sure, 175 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 3: just so I get it out there. The pronunciation would 176 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,559 Speaker 3: be mirah more than marat, Okay. But because you always 177 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 3: run into these situations where everybody says it a certain 178 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 3: way in English, so you kind of get used to 179 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 3: saying it that way totally, and it's kind of obnoxious 180 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 3: in a way if you say Murrah in an otherwise 181 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 3: English language sense. 182 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 2: Oh, that's right, that's right. But we also were kind 183 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 2: of putting on some slightly affective French accents. Is it is? 184 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: Okay? So it's is it at the level of pretension 185 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,439 Speaker 1: that going into Taco bell and ordering that kiss adia 186 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: will be surely not surely? 187 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 2: Is not that bad? Okay? While we still have you, Casey, 188 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 2: what about the bridge? Is it in France or it 189 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:16,080 Speaker 2: was in Vienna? 190 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: Yeah? 191 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so who knows? 192 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: I don't know, Casey on the case adjourned, Yeah, Casey's 193 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: jurisdiction is only in French French regions. Yeah so, but still, 194 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: thank you for showing up, and thank you for doing 195 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: the right thing and recusing yourself. You know, that's very honest. 196 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 2: As the resident little German boy of the podcast, I 197 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 2: would like to throw my dice behind Tabor Tabor. Okay. 198 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: So these guys Lan and Mara see this bridge, and 199 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 1: they know that the Austrians, their forces, being imminently experienced 200 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: and very well aware of the importance of the bridge, 201 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: they know that these enemy forces may destroy the bridge 202 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: and tie unless they do something. And they can't do 203 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: the usual Napoleonic tactic of running up there in mass 204 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: because the bridge will just get destroyed that much more quickly. 205 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: So instead, these two guys, and this is great, these 206 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: two guys decide to run a con job. They don't 207 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: run up with the forces, you know, banners and guns blazing, 208 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: somebody drumming behind them and all that jazz. Instead, they 209 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 1: walk up to the bridge casually, a little bit of 210 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 1: a a little bit of a stroll, and they're waving 211 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: a white flag, right, and they've just got a small 212 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: group of a small group of. 213 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 2: People with them, a little envoy, right, and let's lest 214 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 2: we forget that the the the Austrians had the bridge 215 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,320 Speaker 2: rigged to blow already, right, They were like fuses like 216 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 2: at the ready, so they could like, you know, send 217 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,559 Speaker 2: this thing into the into the ribs upon first side 218 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 2: or on first sight, because they knew and they were 219 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 2: instructed by their their commander, who's a guy named Karl, 220 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 2: to defend their territory at all costs and not let 221 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 2: the French cross the bridge. So they were prepared for 222 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 2: this scenario. But there was this nice little subterfuse going 223 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 2: on here. They just kind of sauntered across the bridge, 224 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 2: like you said, waving this white flag of retreat of truce, right, yeah. 225 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: Of truce, And this is commonly understood to mean that 226 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: there will be some sort of parlays, some sort of 227 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: conversation rather than a conflict, and they meet. You know, 228 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 1: the Austrians at this point are dumbfounded. They're thinking what's happening. 229 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: They already have their adrenaline pumping, they're ready to fight. 230 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: And then these two French marshals they say, oh guys, 231 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: funny story, quick update, and armistice is about to be signed. 232 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 1: I mean you we'll enter into a time of peace 233 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: and due to the negotiations, this bridge actually belongs to 234 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: French forces and we're on the way to make it 235 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: official with your boss, Carl. 236 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 2: I do just want to say too that it's also 237 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,679 Speaker 2: possible that the Austrians were just taken aback by the 238 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 2: sheer sex appeal of these two French generals, the flowing locks. 239 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: They're sauntering down these bridges. And by the way, the 240 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:16,839 Speaker 2: Tabor Bridge, it was not just one bridge, it was 241 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 2: a series of bridges. There were three bridges and the 242 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 2: first two were set to burn because they were on 243 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 2: they were would I imagine, and then the third one 244 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 2: was actually rigged with munitions, the third one being the 245 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 2: one closest to to short to land. So oh, I 246 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 2: love this. The guy named Ausberg by the way, Oursburg, 247 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 2: I believe, was how you would pronounce it. This is 248 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:42,439 Speaker 2: his His title was Field Marshal lieutenant. 249 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: Yes, all one, where all one? Where? 250 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 2: I love these long German compound words. They're great. 251 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:52,840 Speaker 1: And he was also not around when this happened. So 252 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:55,959 Speaker 1: the Austrians in charge, and as you said, no it's 253 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 1: a series of bridges. They were going for the main 254 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:03,560 Speaker 1: bridge that crosses the Daniel most directly. Carl is not 255 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 1: around at all, and while the marshals are sort of 256 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,200 Speaker 1: vamping and convincing these folks that hey, we don't have 257 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,760 Speaker 1: to fight, and armistice is pretty much official at this time. 258 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 1: Let's let's all chill a little bit while they're While 259 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: they're doing all this smoke and mirrors, their actual French 260 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: troops are sneaking slowly toward the bridge as Long and 261 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: Morau are walking across the bridge with the Austrians. 262 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, because these guys are kind of a little bit dumbfounded. 263 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 2: They were sort of taken aback by this. They're trying 264 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 2: to confirm these reports. It's not like they have any 265 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 2: kind of mobile communications technology, right, they're obviously running couriers 266 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 2: or sending a runner they had, Yeah, of course, so 267 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 2: they had to hop to and find out if this 268 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,239 Speaker 2: was true. And that's why it was such a tactical 269 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 2: feat of genius, because they literally just kind of confused 270 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,040 Speaker 2: them to the point where they weren't paying attention and 271 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 2: they were able to get their guys pretty casually across 272 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 2: the bridge. It's got this kind of Ocean's eleven vibe, 273 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,400 Speaker 2: very much like a bridge heist. Yeah, in terms of 274 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 2: the con. So things do get sticky, they don't completely 275 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 2: go according to plan because as they're waiting, as the 276 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 2: marshals are waiting for the French troops to get close 277 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 2: enough to the bridge to make a difference in a 278 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 2: fight or save it from being destroyed, one Austrian sergeant 279 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 2: decides that he does not buy this tail smart man, Yeah, 280 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 2: that this is all kakammy. That if it's too good 281 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 2: to be true, that usually means it is. It's a 282 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 2: real cock and bull story. 283 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: And so this guy surreptitiously begins to or starts to 284 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: light a fuse or tries to. He's got matches in 285 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 1: his hand. He's about to just blow the bridge up. 286 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, and doesn't our boy Murat just just daintily snatch 287 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 2: it from him? It was lawn excuse me, yeah, Genon. 288 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, Jan loon So Jean lol snatches the match from 289 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: this guy's hand, and he says, you know what, pal, 290 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 1: a truce has been signed, and that means that you're 291 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: destroying public property because we're not in an act of 292 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: war and if you try that one more time, I 293 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: will have you arrested off to prison with you. 294 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 2: So we've talked about these munitions that were rigged to 295 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 2: blow up the bridge, Diehard style. But they had some 296 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 2: other stuff guarding their side of the bridge. These Austrians, 297 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 2: didn't they been They had some heavy weapons. 298 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, they had an artillery force with cannon and the 299 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: cannons were preparing to fire on the grenadiers who were 300 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: standing behind the marshals. 301 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 2: Now, by the way, I just want to clarify this 302 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 2: with you, Ben, were grenadier's wielders of grenades or is 303 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 2: this just another name that was pre the invention of 304 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 2: the grenade, because that seems like a little bit more 305 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 2: of a modern device to me. 306 00:16:55,160 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: They were specialized soldiers that were first stablished I guess 307 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: in the mid to late seventeenth century sixteen hundreds for 308 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: throwing grenades. That's what they did. They were usually going 309 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: to be the strongest and largest soldiers because they could 310 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 1: throw the farthest. 311 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 2: That's right. So the grenades more or less as we 312 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 2: know them today, were definitely used during the Napoleonic conflicts 313 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 2: during his era, at least the basic principle. The basic principle, 314 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 2: so maybe maybe more along the line, maybe a little 315 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 2: bit less, I don't know. There's not a whole lot 316 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 2: of moving parts in the grenade. It's sort of just 317 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 2: like a metal piece of dynamite with a fuse more 318 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 2: or less right, Yeah, pull, throw, yeah, release the whatever, 319 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 2: the latch, the crack and yeah the krack and please. 320 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 2: So these there's a there's a really amazing account where 321 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,479 Speaker 2: who is it? Is it Morat or or Lan who 322 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 2: distracts one of the cannon operators by straddling the cannon. 323 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 2: I'm picturing it in a slightly come hither way. I 324 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,199 Speaker 2: don't know why, as if he like laid on it 325 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,720 Speaker 2: as though or a grand piano, you know, and like 326 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 2: I don't know. 327 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, So the grennadiers are on the other side of 328 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: the bridge still or they haven't walked all the way 329 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:06,919 Speaker 1: across it at least, and Jean Land sees the artillery 330 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: about to fire on the French forces, and so as 331 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 1: you said, he hops on the cannon and just lights 332 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 1: a pipe and smoking. 333 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,160 Speaker 2: See again, picture him just kind of like straddling the cannon, 334 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 2: crossing his legs, pulling out his pipe and just never 335 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 2: like breaking the man's gaze, lighting his pipe and just 336 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 2: being like what. 337 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 1: Doing a basic instinct doing a bit of a. 338 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 2: Bass against ice. Yes, yes, I am picturing that, and 339 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 2: I'm sticking to it. That's that's what my imagination says, 340 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 2: and that's what I'm saying out loud. 341 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 1: And so here's where murc comes into play. This really 342 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:43,200 Speaker 1: is a two person con. So there are several sergeants there, 343 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 1: and the sergeants are you going to be battle tested 344 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,400 Speaker 1: and they typically are going to be a little bit 345 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 1: better at seeing through a ruse or discerning a tactic. 346 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: And one of the sergeants continues saying, look, this is 347 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: a trick. Do not trust these evil French forces. These 348 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 1: guys are clearly doing a snow job on us. And 349 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:13,680 Speaker 1: then mart says to the Austrian officers, you guys gonna 350 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,919 Speaker 1: let an enlisted man talk to you that way. I 351 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 1: don't know how it works in the Austrian Army, but 352 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: we don't tolerate that as French officers. So I don't 353 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: know what kind of circus you all are running here. 354 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 2: These dudes powers of persuasion and distraction are second to none, 355 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 2: my friend, second to none. This is this is fabulous stuff. 356 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: And the Austrian officers are like, murt goes on. We 357 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,919 Speaker 1: don't know exactly what he says, but he goes on 358 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: for a little while, and he's dressing down the officers 359 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: because he's like horrified and offended on their behalf. And 360 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: so eventually the officers are so I guess as shamed 361 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: and humiliated or like. 362 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 2: In a tizzy or something. 363 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know, officers see each other as equals, right, 364 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: so they're essentially screwing up by allowing this insolence to occur. 365 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 1: And so they order that sergeant arrested and imprisoned. And 366 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 1: can you imagine being that poor Austrian sergeant. You know 367 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 1: you're correct, you know it's a trick, and now you're 368 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:17,439 Speaker 1: going to jail. 369 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 2: This whole thing plays out like one of those episodes 370 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 2: of Bugs Bunny where he convinces someone like he's a 371 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 2: girl rabbit or whatever just to like get his way, 372 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 2: or he poses in some disguise and is able to 373 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 2: gaslight some poor hapless sap like Elmer Fudd into like 374 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,919 Speaker 2: doing just the thing he needs him to do to 375 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 2: have him win the day. Does is not strike you 376 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 2: as that, like it's just these Austrians and it's gonna 377 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 2: come around to haunt them acted and just utter incompetent 378 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 2: ways that just defy any kind of logic. So all 379 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 2: I can do is I can only assume that these 380 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,919 Speaker 2: guys were not complete and utter idiots. You know, the 381 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 2: Austrian Army had a good reputation for having their stuff together, 382 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,160 Speaker 2: but they were no match for the wits of these 383 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 2: two frenchmen. 384 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:06,159 Speaker 1: Right exactly. And so at this point they're still trying 385 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: to convince all the Austrians, and armistice has been reached. 386 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,119 Speaker 1: It it just happened so recently that you guys haven't 387 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 1: heard of it again, implying something might not be great 388 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,920 Speaker 1: with your army. And at this point another Austrian officer 389 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: arrives and they do the whole dog and pony show again. 390 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,639 Speaker 1: And armistice has been signed. This bridge belongs to France. 391 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:31,359 Speaker 1: It's public property. We're not at war. What's the big hubbub? 392 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you blow this bridge up then you're 393 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: liable for destruction of public property. 394 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, adults, you're essentially it's terrorist. 395 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 2: This is gas lighting one on one, dude, I know 396 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 2: it's not even one on one. This is advanced level again, this. 397 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,400 Speaker 1: Is this is high intermediate at the very least. 398 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's it's a it's a it's a real 399 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 2: a real ship show here, bet. 400 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, And gas lighting is just for anyone who is 401 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,680 Speaker 1: fortunate enough not to have known that phrase beforehand. Gas 402 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,359 Speaker 1: Lighting is when you deceive or manipulate someone by making 403 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: them think that they are craziness, right. So what does 404 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: this officer do, this new on the scene officer when 405 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 1: he learns the news, Well. 406 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,360 Speaker 2: I mean, at this point, they really need an adult 407 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,159 Speaker 2: in the room, you know, they really need to consult 408 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 2: with the grown up. So he runs to get Ousberg, 409 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:25,560 Speaker 2: the field marshal lieutenant who was in command but seemingly 410 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,120 Speaker 2: a bit of an absentee commander. So they really needed 411 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 2: to consult with this guy because they were just running 412 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,680 Speaker 2: around like chickens with their heads cut off at this point. 413 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: And the French forces, now they're still approaching Austrians have 414 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 1: no idea what to do because it's a cost benefit thing. 415 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,840 Speaker 1: If it really if there really is an armistice, then 416 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:51,160 Speaker 1: they are in deep, deep fudge if they shoot at 417 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 1: these French forces. 418 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 2: It's like a who's on third kind of like situation. 419 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 2: I mean, it really is. 420 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 1: It's yeah, And the French soldiers have been told by 421 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,479 Speaker 1: the marshals, like right before they went off on this 422 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: crazy con job. They've been told guys just walk forward 423 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: like nothing's wrong, just like walk forward like you're not 424 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 1: in a war. 425 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,919 Speaker 2: I just think it's so incredible that like all the 426 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 2: information they're getting is coming from the enemy. Yeah, all 427 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 2: of it, and they're acting on it as though it's like, 428 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 2: you know, to be believed. And the on the one guy, 429 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: the one guy who said, hey, maybe we should slow 430 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 2: o roll a little bit and like, you know, take 431 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 2: a couple steps back and think on this, he gets 432 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,640 Speaker 2: arrested and like put in the stocks or whatever by 433 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 2: his own people. Yeah, this is some some bugs bunny 434 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:39,680 Speaker 2: malevolence right here, my friend. 435 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: And I'm picturing this Benny Hill soundtrack playing softly under 436 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 1: a lot of this. 437 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 2: Sure, I'm just picturing these these Austrias just running around 438 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,880 Speaker 2: like juggling stuff and just like tripping over each other 439 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 2: and just like prap falling for days all on this bridge. 440 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,600 Speaker 1: Yes, and we have to mention too this this stuff. 441 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 1: Once it begins happening, once these two guys walk up 442 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,760 Speaker 1: with their forces, it happens a pretty quick succession. 443 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 2: I think this could have been this could be like 444 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 2: a sitcom episode, like like one one episode. Yeah, I 445 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,000 Speaker 2: think that's about how long it could have in real time, 446 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 2: play out as like a twenty five minute television second. 447 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: Why don't we just do a season of various hilarious 448 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 1: things from the Napoleonic Wars, get Larry David to ride it, 449 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 1: and then put it on HBO. 450 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 2: Can't you picture the part where Napoleon and his dudes 451 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 2: are getting sworn by the bunnies and it's just done, 452 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:27,680 Speaker 2: don't don't. 453 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,440 Speaker 1: Exactly. I think that's perfect, Especially Benny Hill and Larry 454 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: David work on and Seinfeld works for this too. Because 455 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 1: as the forces from France march onto the bridge, they 456 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: actually get on the bridge, they're being super chill about it. 457 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 1: Everybody's being cool. They're just strolling up there, sauntering maybe 458 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: a sachet or so for anyone who was a suppressed actor. 459 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: And as they're walking up, the Austrians are are panicking 460 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:05,199 Speaker 1: and they're realizing we're not at war. Hip hip hooray, 461 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,719 Speaker 1: kalu kalay, what a wonder stay and so on, and 462 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: they start physically throwing all the explosives that they had 463 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: prepared for blowing up the bridge into the Danube. 464 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,360 Speaker 2: They just threw them away. 465 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: Get him out of the way. The French are coming. 466 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 1: We're friends now, Yeah, yeah, really really ill advised. So 467 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:30,399 Speaker 1: Carl shows up, I love calling him by his first day. Yeah, Carl, Carl, Carl, 468 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 1: get over here. There's we're we have an armistice. So 469 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:38,920 Speaker 1: Carl shows up and he sees the French marshaled and 470 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,360 Speaker 1: all their forces on the bridge. He sees his own 471 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: men throwing away all the explosives, and Carl looks around 472 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: and he goes, huh, well, it must be true. They've 473 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 1: got so far with this. You know, it's clearly this, 474 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,160 Speaker 1: I mean, this is good news for us, right. 475 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 2: Really you think he thought that, You think he wasn't 476 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 2: just immediately outraged? 477 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: He No, he thought it was true, and so he 478 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,879 Speaker 1: handed the bridge over to the marshals. Not a shot 479 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,639 Speaker 1: was fired, and the entire thing. 480 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:06,600 Speaker 2: Oh god. 481 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: But then immediately after handing over the bridge, they became 482 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,920 Speaker 1: prisoners of war. The French took them prisoner. 483 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 2: And they're like, wait, what wait what what casey? 484 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 1: Can you cueue up that that curbed music again? 485 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, like that. 486 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 1: So what happened afterwards? Noel? What I mean? Because Napoleon's 487 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,679 Speaker 1: not on the scene at all. 488 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,159 Speaker 2: He's not on the scene. But yeah, Napoleon had nothing 489 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 2: but praise to heap on his brother in law, old 490 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,160 Speaker 2: Toauquem Napoleon Marat, and he had a really cool nickname 491 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,880 Speaker 2: for him, by the way, which was the first Horseman 492 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 2: of Europe, and his compatriot Jean Lan. And he basically 493 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,119 Speaker 2: said that they had achieved a feat of strategy and 494 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,679 Speaker 2: that he was very proud of them, and they were 495 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,359 Speaker 2: good little boys, and he gave them a pat on 496 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 2: the head, and you know, probably some kind of military commendation. 497 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 2: Who's to say the Austrian side did not fare quite 498 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,680 Speaker 2: so well in terms of the praise that was heaped 499 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,200 Speaker 2: upon them, because there was none. 500 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: Right, right, there was not any. It's a great story, 501 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,680 Speaker 1: but yeah, you can only imagine the ignomy of that. 502 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: And Carl himself is later court martialed, convicted of negligence, 503 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: rightly so cashiered and stripped of all his honors. Later 504 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 1: he is pardoned and actually reinstated. So this hilarious mistake 505 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,200 Speaker 1: did not follow him for all. 506 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 2: Of his days. I don't know, man, I feel like 507 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 2: it probably did. That's a pretty embarrassing thing to have 508 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:41,879 Speaker 2: been in charge of. 509 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, hopefully he learned better. Critical thinking skills. 510 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, well he wasn't even there, right, Like, all this 511 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 2: happened later. He came later, and he he would have 512 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 2: thought that he could have put it together. But I 513 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,680 Speaker 2: cannot believe that these French guys outsmarted their enemies at 514 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:02,639 Speaker 2: literally every possible turn. This story, yeah and smooth. I 515 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 2: can't get over the one guy that was like, wait, 516 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,480 Speaker 2: but but but it's like the kid in the horror 517 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,680 Speaker 2: movie that knows there's a monster but no one will 518 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 2: believe him, you know. 519 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, or the one person gets called crazy in 520 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,680 Speaker 1: the first third of a horror movie. Yeah, it's it's insane. 521 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:24,479 Speaker 1: I can't get over just the sheer, amazing confidence. And 522 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,720 Speaker 1: as someone who does comedy outside of the studio here, 523 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: I'm very impressed with their improvisational skills. They were just yes, 524 00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 1: anding their way to victory. 525 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. We should 526 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 2: have put that as the subtitle of the episode. 527 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 1: Hey, that's not a bad idea, nol. Yeah, let's do that. 528 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: And this concludes our most recent installment of hilarious stories 529 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 1: from the Napoleonic Wars. 530 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 2: There's a lot of them, man, I'm excited to get 531 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 2: into some more surely, surely we have not exhausted them yet. 532 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 533 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 2: True. 534 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 1: Let us know what other strange and funny war stories 535 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: you have found, especially if they involve Napoleonic shnanigans. In 536 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 1: the meantime, we do hope you enjoyed this episode. As always, 537 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 1: we want to give a big thanks to Casey Pegram 538 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 1: for once again saving. 539 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 2: The show and our immortal soul. 540 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 1: And Nole's mortal soul. 541 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,160 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, shouldn't have spoke. I shouldn't have blund you. 542 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: Well, I got this ongoing negotiation. 543 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 2: That's fair. 544 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,880 Speaker 1: We also want to thank our recurring guests and research 545 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 1: associate Christopher Hasiotis. 546 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,239 Speaker 2: Yeah. Man, he pitched at us earlier about making that 547 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 2: thing a regular occurrence, and I want to bring it 548 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 2: up to you right now. I think it's a golden idea. Yeah. 549 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: I already wrote back to him cool and said this 550 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: said much the same. 551 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:42,959 Speaker 2: Yeah. Good good. So we're in agreement. 552 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we are in agreement, and we hope that 553 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 1: you agree. It would be fun to check out our 554 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 1: other stuff on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. 555 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I swear ben on all of our shows. 556 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 2: We need, you know, we need to follow the lead 557 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 2: of our pals. In La who do a much better 558 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 2: job at maintaining their own social media accounts. You know, 559 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 2: they got the stories, they got the gifts, the boomerangs 560 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 2: and stuff. We need to do more of that. I'm 561 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,160 Speaker 2: going to throw down the gauntlet right now and pledge 562 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 2: that we're gonna we're gonna try to start doing that. 563 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 2: You know, if we don't follow three, don't hold it 564 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 2: against us too harshly. But you know, I want to change. 565 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 2: I want to be better. 566 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 1: Gotta be the change. Yeah, we have anything else we're 567 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:20,280 Speaker 1: supposed to mention. 568 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 2: I don't think so, I mean. Thanks to Alix, Thanks 569 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 2: to Alex Williams, who composed our theme. Thanks to Eve's 570 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 2: Jeff Coat, who did not work on this episode of Believe, 571 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:31,520 Speaker 2: but is a font of knowledge. Thanks to you, Benjamin 572 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 2: for that dapper checker shirt you're wearing today. 573 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 1: Thanks to you, Neljamin, you have a nice shirt as well. 574 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 2: I do. You're right, Thank you, ben Casey. Can I 575 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 2: see your shirt? 576 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: Just clean? Casey's killing it too. 577 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,800 Speaker 2: He really is. And I think we're all going to 578 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 2: go and have a drink and a bite of food 579 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 2: at our local haunt after we wrap up here, because 580 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 2: we are, in fact real friends. This isn't just a show. 581 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, we do hang out in an inordinate amount of time. 582 00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 1: We probably spend more time with each other than we 583 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: do with our girlfriends. 584 00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 3: Yeah. 585 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,720 Speaker 1: Well you know what I mean. 586 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 2: I'm working on it all right. 587 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:06,760 Speaker 1: Well, that's it until next time, so stay tuned the end. 588 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 589 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.