Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda Land Audio
Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. Does your daughter have
Speaker 1: a New Zealand esque accent? On some Woods? She goes
Speaker 1: like she says horse for horse, you know, she says
Speaker 1: horse and stuff like that in some Woods. But then
Speaker 1: she has this little like Californian accent. She's like, she's like, yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: big surf bro like yeah yeah, And she says funny
Speaker 1: things like we were going home and we've turned up
Speaker 1: a particular street and she goes, now we're on Fairfax.
Speaker 1: Nothing can stop us. That's the hello, everybody, and welcome
Speaker 1: back to Katie's Crib. Today's guest is a dear friend
Speaker 1: of mine, an awesome mom, and when she won the
Speaker 1: Critics Choice Award for Yellow Jackets this year, she did
Speaker 1: a special shout out to her nanny and something went
Speaker 1: off in my head and finally clicked, and I was like,
Speaker 1: how came. Melanielynsky has not been on Katie's Crib yet,
Speaker 1: so I reached out and it's an awesome episode where
Speaker 1: we talked about raising a toddler, work life, balance, body image,
Speaker 1: self identity, and her daughter's New Zealand accent when saying
Speaker 1: some words. If you don't know Melanie Lynsky, please go
Speaker 1: run and watch Yellow Jackets right now. She's amazing on it.
Speaker 1: But let me tell you a little bit about her.
Speaker 1: She's a New Zealand actress. She was cast opposite Drew
Speaker 1: Barrymore in Ever After, a Cinderella Story. She had parts
Speaker 1: in Coyote, Ugly, Sweet Home, Alabama, Clean Eastwood's Flags of
Speaker 1: Our Fathers. In recent years, she has emerged as one
Speaker 1: of the industry's most celebrated actors, gaining recognition for her
Speaker 1: performances in Don't Look Up, The Perks of Being a
Speaker 1: Wallflower and Sam Mendez is Away We Go. On television,
Speaker 1: Melanie has worked her scene steal magic in such shows
Speaker 1: like CBS is Two and a Half Men, the HBO
Speaker 1: dramay Togetherness, which I absolutely loved, and of course, Showtime's
Speaker 1: Yellow Jackets, one of my favorite shows of last season.
Speaker 1: Melanie collected Critics Choice Award for Best Actress in a
Speaker 1: Drama Series for her portrayal of Shawna on Yellow Jackets,
Speaker 1: and she just recently received Emmy nomination for her performance.
Speaker 1: I'm freaking out and so excited for her. I love
Speaker 1: her she deserves all the things. Welcome to Katie's Crib, Melanie. Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to see you. I'm so happy to
Speaker 1: see you. I know, I'm so grateful to have this
Speaker 1: this time with you because I think, when I think
Speaker 1: is so funny, I feel like you don't even know
Speaker 1: how much you are helping moms, Like I've I sent
Speaker 1: your Critics Choice speech to like every mother I know,
Speaker 1: and also like all the press you've done, and I
Speaker 1: just don't even think you understand the effect of amazing
Speaker 1: nous you're having on people who are moms in the industry.
Speaker 1: So sweet, Thanks, Listen. Did you know you always wanted
Speaker 1: to be a mom on some level? I think, but
Speaker 1: in the oldest of five and I had a lot
Speaker 1: of responsibility growing up, so it was never something where
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I can't wait, like a I
Speaker 1: sort of I wanted to live my life and and
Speaker 1: do stuff. But then once I knew, I really knew, knew. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you think part of that was meeting For me,
Speaker 1: it was meeting Adam. Like I felt like I knew
Speaker 1: I needed to have a partner that was going to
Speaker 1: be super involved in order for me to do it.
Speaker 1: And then Once I met Adam, I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're doing this. Was that similar for you us? I
Speaker 1: mean I was married before Jason to somebody wonderful who
Speaker 1: I adore, and we were ambivalent about kids. We would
Speaker 1: talk about it, but we both were pretty ambitious, and
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just never was like at the
Speaker 1: top of the list of priorities. And then we broke up. Jason,
Speaker 1: when I meet him, was it was a bit wild. Um.
Speaker 1: I told, you're listening, this is we're talking about Jason Ritter,
Speaker 1: who in his own right as literally I went to
Speaker 1: n y U with Jason. I honestly think the two
Speaker 1: of you are the most talented actors and most wonderful
Speaker 1: people coming together. When it became clear that you guys
Speaker 1: were your people for each other, I was like, all
Speaker 1: as well, so sweet, I feel the same. I love
Speaker 1: him so so so much. You know, when we met
Speaker 1: each other, we had both been in long relationships and
Speaker 1: it wasn't like an immediate like this is the thing
Speaker 1: and it's all working out and flowers and rainbows like.
Speaker 1: It was very like stopping starting craziness. And I think
Speaker 1: there was a time, you know, I have this elderly
Speaker 1: dog that I shared with Jimmy, my ex husband, and
Speaker 1: she was really really sick at a certain point. And Jason,
Speaker 1: it was a couple of years into our relationship. He
Speaker 1: would get up in the night to take her to
Speaker 1: pay five six times because she was so old and
Speaker 1: she didn't know. She thought she had to pee all
Speaker 1: the time. She would go wander around the yard and
Speaker 1: come back in. And this dog was I have her
Speaker 1: tattooed on my body. She's like my baby. But it
Speaker 1: would drive me nuts. I would be so tired, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. And I just realized at a certain point, Oh,
Speaker 1: this man's patient is infinite, and he's so loving and
Speaker 1: he's so attentive to this elderly dog and he can
Speaker 1: get up six times in the night and go right
Speaker 1: back to sleep. And I was like, this is like
Speaker 1: dad material, Like I just yeah this. Yeah. He was
Speaker 1: starting to settle down and be a little bit less crazy,
Speaker 1: and it was very good with this old dog. And
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I think this could I think
Speaker 1: we could work. Yeah, because I felt the same. I
Speaker 1: needed a partner, like I knew I needed like a partner.
Speaker 1: Did you? So you've come out on the record, You've
Speaker 1: said that you actually had a miscarriage. I had one
Speaker 1: as well, and it's never talked about. Would you mind
Speaker 1: taking us back to that time, how you felt, um
Speaker 1: and what that experience was like for you. Well, I
Speaker 1: had a miscarrite after I was pregnant with my daughter.
Speaker 1: My daughter was like eighteen months old. Um, we and
Speaker 1: I got pregnant again and I was breastfeeding her, and
Speaker 1: I was so excited, like, you know, it took. I
Speaker 1: got pregnant with my daughter was in the first month
Speaker 1: of us trying, and then I got pregnant with this
Speaker 1: next one within the first month of us trying, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh my gosh, We're so lucky,
Speaker 1: you know. I was in my forties and everything looked great,
Speaker 1: and I had an ultrasound and there was a little
Speaker 1: heartbeat and my levels were great. I had horrible morning sickness.
Speaker 1: Everyone was like, that's a great sign. And then I
Speaker 1: was going to do a CVS test to make sure
Speaker 1: everything was okay, and the CVS people said, okay, before
Speaker 1: you come, and can you just go back to your
Speaker 1: doctor and get like an actual gestational You haven't got
Speaker 1: like a proper record, so just have one more ultrasound.
Speaker 1: So we know exactly went to book your cvs for
Speaker 1: because it happens around twelve weeks. And I went back
Speaker 1: to my doctor and there just wasn't a heartbeat anymore.
Speaker 1: It was a it was a big surprise, um, and
Speaker 1: I had like thrown up that morning. I still felt horrible.
Speaker 1: It was interesting to discover how people just don't know
Speaker 1: how to talk about it. And that was when I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I think I'm going to talk about that.
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to be public about it, because
Speaker 1: people just are not equipped to help each other through it.
Speaker 1: There were women in my life who had been through
Speaker 1: it before and they were incredibly helpful, um some of them.
Speaker 1: And then some people just it reminded them too much
Speaker 1: of their own experience, and some people were kind of like,
Speaker 1: that's not a big deal. You already have one, you know,
Speaker 1: like this kind of thing, and so I just was like,
Speaker 1: I think the more it's sort of like out in
Speaker 1: the open, the better, you know. I completely agree, and
Speaker 1: I'm so I mean, it was it was one of
Speaker 1: the many reasons I was I was hoping you could
Speaker 1: on Katie's cribin talk about it, because I do think
Speaker 1: a lot of people aren't open about miscarriage. One in
Speaker 1: four pregnancies do result in miscarriage, and it is still
Speaker 1: even in today's day and age, shrouded in shame and
Speaker 1: like just get over it, get on with it. Why
Speaker 1: is it a big deal? Um? Also, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of talk, well, how far along were you was it?
Speaker 1: You know, here's a lot of like mine is worse
Speaker 1: than yours, or you know, I was so fucking rocked
Speaker 1: by it. I couldn't believe it. I was almost putting
Speaker 1: that sort of shame on myself, like get over it.
Speaker 1: Like I had a d n C on a Saturday
Speaker 1: and on Monday, I was on set and like I
Speaker 1: e though, was sobbing out of nowhere for three months?
Speaker 1: How did you feel mentally emotionally after the experience. I
Speaker 1: felt crazy And I had a similar thing where I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't think I'm supposed to be feeling
Speaker 1: this much, because you know, I when I found out
Speaker 1: I was I've been pregnant for ten and a half weeks,
Speaker 1: I guess, you know. And they thought that maybe the
Speaker 1: heart beat had stopped like a week before or something
Speaker 1: like that. So people lose pregnancies a lot later than that,
Speaker 1: and I did the same thing where I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: get on with it, but physically my body was just
Speaker 1: like no, you know, it felt like a very big deal.
Speaker 1: I first of all, I gained a lot of weight
Speaker 1: when I was pregnant, I think because I was breastfeeding
Speaker 1: and the hormones, and I think my body was just like,
Speaker 1: what's going on. You're still breastfeeding and now we're growing
Speaker 1: another And I didn't change the way I was eating
Speaker 1: or anything like that. Every day I was saying that Jason, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I look at my body. What's happening.
Speaker 1: Like just every day it was just sort of like
Speaker 1: growing and growing and all he can see is boobs.
Speaker 1: So no one here, one's complaining here. Yeah, He's like great,
Speaker 1: and I'm like but and so that was like an
Speaker 1: interesting thing. Like after I lost the pregnancy, I felt
Speaker 1: like I had this sort of physical reminder on my
Speaker 1: body of what I was growing because everyone was like, oh,
Speaker 1: your brisk feet, the white's going to drop off to
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I have truly never heard more of
Speaker 1: a line of bullshit in my entire life. It actually
Speaker 1: was true for me. I did not have that I'm
Speaker 1: still breastfeeding and I want to talk to you about this.
Speaker 1: I'm still breastfeeding my daughter. She's twenty months. I'm dying
Speaker 1: to hear about how you weaned because I I've never
Speaker 1: had this experience before. So wait, hold on back to you.
Speaker 1: So your breastfeeding, you get pregnant easily again, You've got
Speaker 1: pregnant easily the first time. The pregnancy did you end
Speaker 1: up having if you don't mind, did you have a
Speaker 1: d n C or was it I did? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: did have to have a DNC and then I bled
Speaker 1: every day like a heavy period for three months. Come on,
Speaker 1: and I remember calling like my doctor and they, you know,
Speaker 1: he was away, so there was someone like, you know,
Speaker 1: filling in for him. And she was like the blood
Speaker 1: plots bigger than a fist and I was like no,
Speaker 1: but like like the size of a pot, like my palm,
Speaker 1: and she was like that's okay. And I just was
Speaker 1: like what. I didn't have any frame of reference for
Speaker 1: what was normal, And at a certain point, like three
Speaker 1: months into that, every single day I was like, this
Speaker 1: isn't normal. I'm so tired. I could barely do anything.
Speaker 1: I was grieving and not knowing what was okay, Like
Speaker 1: how much I was allowed to grieve. My body felt
Speaker 1: foreign to me, like I should have still been carrying
Speaker 1: this thing. It just it was horrible. The whole experience
Speaker 1: was horrible emotionally. You know, there were days where I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to get out of bed today.
Speaker 1: But you know, when you have a little person to
Speaker 1: take care of, you have to. Yeah, Wow, after three
Speaker 1: months of bleeding, did you call a doctor and be
Speaker 1: like is this ever going to stop? Did it stop? Like?
Speaker 1: How did that resolve? I had to have another operation.
Speaker 1: I went and had a sailing ultrasound, which I would
Speaker 1: not wish upon my worst enemy. I've never even heard
Speaker 1: of that. What the fund is that I've never even
Speaker 1: heard of that. They have to look at your uterus
Speaker 1: and see exactly what's happening inside, but they fill it
Speaker 1: with sailing first. So this is a lot of information
Speaker 1: and I hope it's okay, but but yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: so they insert some fucking medieval torture device that pumps sailing. Okay, great, great, great,
Speaker 1: And the doctor was absolutely lovely. Um, but you know,
Speaker 1: I had to fill my uterus with ceilne and the
Speaker 1: moment they put like something in to fill it, all
Speaker 1: this blood fell out like old blood that had just
Speaker 1: been collected in my uterus. I heard like a splash.
Speaker 1: People jumped back like I was carrying all this extra
Speaker 1: like blood around. I was like, no, wonder, I'm bleeding
Speaker 1: every day and I'm so tired. So I had another
Speaker 1: operation to take everything else out Melanie, and then I
Speaker 1: don't know, I have not been able to get pregnant
Speaker 1: again since then. And we tried to do IVF and
Speaker 1: that didn't really you know, it goes so well and
Speaker 1: then it's just more hormones and just it's it's rough,
Speaker 1: and it's so hard on your body. I mean, the
Speaker 1: fertility journey is so it's so hard on your body.
Speaker 1: When there is no miscarriage, no IVF, no hormone injections,
Speaker 1: no saline bags, and then to have all of that
Speaker 1: is just I mean, it's you feel like a crazy person,
Speaker 1: like you just really do. Yeah, you feel like a
Speaker 1: crazy person, you know. And then we tried to do
Speaker 1: three rounds of i V. If that didn't really work out.
Speaker 1: That was when I stopped breastfeeding. By the way, we decided, okay,
Speaker 1: so to try to avoid having another miscarriage, maybe we'll
Speaker 1: try to make some embryos an implant and um, I
Speaker 1: couldn't get enough eggs. But the night before I started
Speaker 1: my MIDS for I v IF, I was like, Ohen,
Speaker 1: breastfeeding is okay? Right? Like my daughter was twenty two months?
Speaker 1: And what they say? They were like, no, fuck, they said, no,
Speaker 1: what did you do? Of course it's not you have
Speaker 1: to stop. I had to stop, like ko tuki, this
Speaker 1: child who was like what did you can? You can?
Speaker 1: You can? You tell me? Okay? So for twenty two months?
Speaker 1: Did you breastfeed on demand? I know that you take
Speaker 1: her to work? Did you pomp? What did the breastfeed
Speaker 1: while working? Look like I did pump. But she would
Speaker 1: never want a bottle. So most of the time she
Speaker 1: was in my trailer and I just would go go
Speaker 1: there every time I had a break. You know, she
Speaker 1: wasn't on a very strict schedule. At a certain point,
Speaker 1: she's eating food, She's fine. She just wants to come. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: have have baby. But you know I was feeding all night.
Speaker 1: I know she's so cute baby, but I was feeding
Speaker 1: all night. We would like lie in bed together and
Speaker 1: she just could like have baby whenever she wanted. I
Speaker 1: was very tired, fucking entire neupert star of a mother.
Speaker 1: I don't even understand. So how did you fabulary? What
Speaker 1: vocabulary did you use? When okay, they want to do
Speaker 1: you're doing IVF? They say, oh, guess what, like all
Speaker 1: these hormones that you're about to shoot into your body?
Speaker 1: You can no longer breastfeed. You just did your last feed.
Speaker 1: How did you explain to her that baby was no more?
Speaker 1: Came home and I said, listen, we have to have
Speaker 1: a conversation about baby. I said for two weeks. We
Speaker 1: kind of have baby for two weeks, because that was
Speaker 1: how long they told me. They said, you can go
Speaker 1: back to it if you still have milk. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Um so she just she was like
Speaker 1: two weeks, like Greg crabbing onto my first two weeks
Speaker 1: and I just said like, I'm so sorry. And then
Speaker 1: we had a lot of time to give it a
Speaker 1: nine and lots of cuddles, and then the next day
Speaker 1: I just had to say, okay, I'm so sorry. It
Speaker 1: was really but then after two weeks she just didn't
Speaker 1: go back to it. And did you miss it or
Speaker 1: did you feel like in a way My son at
Speaker 1: his one year birthday Adam and I were doing Waitress
Speaker 1: the musical and I got MERSA, which is a deadly
Speaker 1: staff infection, and the dermatologist called me and said, oh,
Speaker 1: you just had your last breastfeed. You have to go
Speaker 1: on so many different kinds of antibiotics that we cannot
Speaker 1: figure like there's no time to figure out which ones
Speaker 1: are breastfeeding safe. Like year note, Oh my god, And
Speaker 1: I was sobbing. But I remember in the back of
Speaker 1: my head being a little bit relieved in that the
Speaker 1: choice was made for me. And now I'm in this
Speaker 1: situation where my daughter's twenty months. I'm feeling like I'm
Speaker 1: kind of at the end of my rope and she
Speaker 1: would probably breastfeed till she's five, and I just don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. And I and I've sort of
Speaker 1: been saying like I've gotten it down to like two
Speaker 1: ft a day, and she's pulling at my shirt and
Speaker 1: she's screaming at my chest and she wants the comfort.
Speaker 1: And I feel like a fucking horrible mother, and I
Speaker 1: say to her, no, it's not available right now where
Speaker 1: you can have it at night before we go to
Speaker 1: bed um. But I'm going away on a trip to
Speaker 1: New York, and I'm thinking about maybe coming back and
Speaker 1: being like it's gone, but I'm terrified and I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing and I don't know why I'm
Speaker 1: making this choice, and it feels wrong but right, and
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just wish a doctor was telling
Speaker 1: me like you're done, or she was saying I'm not
Speaker 1: interested anymore, like, yeah, I understand. Did you feel like
Speaker 1: it got you out of it or were you bummed?
Speaker 1: And like, I really wanted to take this through much longer.
Speaker 1: I wanted her to choose, But realistically, I think she's
Speaker 1: probably similar to your daughter and that I don't know
Speaker 1: if that day would ever have come. Like she's still
Speaker 1: cuddles with me, and like very much loves baby, you know,
Speaker 1: she's three and a half now, talks about baby all
Speaker 1: the time. One time I told her if I was
Speaker 1: to have another baby, I would like breastfeeding that baby,
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, she's very excited to hear
Speaker 1: that the baby might come back coming back, and she's like,
Speaker 1: and then I can have baby. And I was like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so hard to know, like what the boundaries are,
Speaker 1: you know, but it's your body. You have to do
Speaker 1: what feels right for you in twenty two months. It's
Speaker 1: a really long time. It's a really long time. I
Speaker 1: did feel relieved in a way that it was just
Speaker 1: like we're done that chapters over and she was fine, Yeah,
Speaker 1: how is the embryo retrieval experience? And I v F
Speaker 1: for you was it was it? I can't So that's
Speaker 1: the hormone injections, and then you get put out and
Speaker 1: they retrieve eggs and then it becomes this huge I've
Speaker 1: gone through it with so many friends and it all
Speaker 1: depends on like the number, like I only got this,
Speaker 1: I only got that, and it's like, so was stressful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I froze my eggs when I was when I
Speaker 1: was thirty seven, and I had a great experience. I
Speaker 1: did it. I did two rounds and I got like
Speaker 1: thirteen sort of perfect, great healthy eggs. But then when
Speaker 1: we were like, well let's just you know, use those,
Speaker 1: something happened. They don't know if it was when they
Speaker 1: were frozen or when they were defrusted, but ten of
Speaker 1: them just were ruined, like couldn't be used. So that
Speaker 1: was a real Mamma, that was real, mamma, Are you
Speaker 1: kidding me? That my doctor was cried. When she told
Speaker 1: me she cried. She said she's never seen it happen
Speaker 1: before in her entire career. She felt horrible. She said,
Speaker 1: nobody can explain what happened, just that they're you know,
Speaker 1: so the three that survived fertilized, but two of them
Speaker 1: like it didn't look so good, and one of them
Speaker 1: looked okay. So she said, let's try to do some
Speaker 1: more rounds just so you can hopefully get more embryos
Speaker 1: and have have enough, you know, have just a bit
Speaker 1: of chance. But I just couldn't. I didn't even end
Speaker 1: up doing a retrieval that time because there weren't enough
Speaker 1: eggs to even father with a retrieval. And then I
Speaker 1: had to go and do don't look up. I had
Speaker 1: to go, and then I just started working. I looked
Speaker 1: into doing eggs and some of that, and how you
Speaker 1: would even manage the time that is needed to do
Speaker 1: the injections. Go to the doctors every single day, make
Speaker 1: sure that you're there on the date. Like with my schedules,
Speaker 1: nothing like yours. And I can't even imagine doing that.
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you about two now that
Speaker 1: I have a daughter. You mentioned I love this in
Speaker 1: a recent interview with Skim that it's hard to be
Speaker 1: a size ten next to a size zero. And I
Speaker 1: get it because I'm also a ten. And I want
Speaker 1: to know, having been through your having your daughter and
Speaker 1: having a miscarriage after and then all of your fertility
Speaker 1: journey which reeks havoc on your body, can you talk
Speaker 1: to me about body image for you now? And how
Speaker 1: do you talk about that ship with your daughter around.
Speaker 1: I try to not criticize myself. You know, Jason and
Speaker 1: I are so close. He hears my every innermost thought.
Speaker 1: He just knows me better than anybody. So there are
Speaker 1: days when I feel horrible and I'll say it, but
Speaker 1: I really try to not ever let her hear me
Speaker 1: say that. And there's no such thing as like bad
Speaker 1: food or naughty things to eat or anything like that
Speaker 1: in the house. Like I want her to see me
Speaker 1: eating a lot of different stuff. I want her to
Speaker 1: eat a lot of different stuff. I try to talk
Speaker 1: about like how food makes you feel like you can't
Speaker 1: have a whole lot of sugar because you'll feel crazy
Speaker 1: and you're gonna get really you know, run around and
Speaker 1: then you get really tired. Um. So she has like
Speaker 1: one little sugary thing's one gummy worm a day. Love it.
Speaker 1: I know we're a jellybe He's like, I'm taking my
Speaker 1: five jelly beans because I'm gonna be five exactly. But
Speaker 1: I never wanted to be like restrictive calories. What how
Speaker 1: you know the impact it has on your body or
Speaker 1: anything like that. And honestly, like when I went to
Speaker 1: work on yellow Jackets after my miscarriage and gaining the
Speaker 1: weight from my miscarriage and then doing three rounds of
Speaker 1: IVY if it didn't work out, I did not feel wonderful.
Speaker 1: I was you know, we shot the pilot the year before,
Speaker 1: and I was a lot center. Then I was breastfeeding
Speaker 1: my daughter, and I like I was smaller after I
Speaker 1: had Carhi than I was when I got pregnant with her.
Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh God, now I got
Speaker 1: to come back and do the show. And I'm I
Speaker 1: just had all these things, and the creators of the show,
Speaker 1: We're just like, we don't care, we love you, we
Speaker 1: think you're perfect. And they kept writing all these like
Speaker 1: six scenes for me. They keep writing things where I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be naked it and I was just sort
Speaker 1: of like okay, and it honestly forced me. I thought
Speaker 1: about it, and I was like, how would I feel
Speaker 1: if I turned the television on and someone who looked
Speaker 1: like me, I was just living in her body, being sexual,
Speaker 1: being sexy, putting clothes on, and not like, you know,
Speaker 1: thinking about it. I wasn't talking about dieting, Like You're
Speaker 1: being given this opportunity by these writers to just be
Speaker 1: a woman in her body and be comfortable and show
Speaker 1: that to other women. And I just was like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to run with it. I'm going to
Speaker 1: try to just be as comfortable as I can be.
Speaker 1: And they were sensitive with me about like what I
Speaker 1: wanted to show, what I didn't want to show, and
Speaker 1: they were amazing. They were amazing. I can say sitting there, hey,
Speaker 1: you're the sexiest in the world. I think you're so beautiful.
Speaker 1: You're so beautiful it's insane. I've also always been called
Speaker 1: you know, before even Scandal, they would send me in
Speaker 1: for our own auditions that were like a zoftig girl,
Speaker 1: extra extra curvy. My first agent, you know, told me
Speaker 1: you're too fat, you'll never work in TV and made
Speaker 1: me join weight Watchers when I was twenty four. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean and by the way, I was the small like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what big then, jeez, I would that's like
Speaker 1: I was a child. But anyway, what you just said
Speaker 1: in what you set out to do is what you did.
Speaker 1: Because I was so affected, and so many people I
Speaker 1: know who watched that show were so affected by just
Speaker 1: how fucking gorgeous you are and playing this part and
Speaker 1: seeing a person on television. I still think that seeing
Speaker 1: a person on TV who is not a size zero
Speaker 1: is a fucking awesome thing. To see all the accolades
Speaker 1: and attention that you so deserve for all of your
Speaker 1: all the time, and on yellow jackets right now. I
Speaker 1: just I'm so I'm like sitting there on my couch
Speaker 1: and if you could hear me, I'm like screaming from
Speaker 1: the rafters about you being celebrated. I really do feel
Speaker 1: that way. Thank you. When you dress up and go
Speaker 1: to events, does your daughter say anything, Oh, she loves it,
Speaker 1: she loves it so much. Yeah. First of all, you know,
Speaker 1: everybody has like the fake here, the here extensions, and
Speaker 1: and she calls it my snap here and she's like, oh, Mama,
Speaker 1: you're going to have snap here tonight. I'm like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: And I've all the snap here, all the step here,
Speaker 1: and she loves like she comes and chicks the progress
Speaker 1: of the eyeshadow. She tells everyone they're doing a great job.
Speaker 1: She's like, great job, Steve, like, oh my god. She's
Speaker 1: so funny. She loves to like look at all the
Speaker 1: dress options. That's it's been very fun having her, because
Speaker 1: that is a part of it that I greatly dislike,
Speaker 1: partly because I feel resentful. I had a conversation with
Speaker 1: one of the young actors on my show and she
Speaker 1: was saying, like, you know, getting dressed for events and
Speaker 1: all the stuff I'm talking about. She had worn all
Speaker 1: these fabulous, gorgeous things, and I said, did you know
Speaker 1: I have to buy everything that I wear because if
Speaker 1: you're bigger than a two, yeah, yeah, you got to
Speaker 1: buy it with it, and nobody's giving your money to
Speaker 1: buy it. But you're going to be on a fashion
Speaker 1: blog being judged next to someone who could borrow something
Speaker 1: from prad to I'm resentful. It's like such a big
Speaker 1: part of our job and we had judged on it
Speaker 1: and people care, and you know, I'm just having a
Speaker 1: different experience to literally every other member of my cast
Speaker 1: because I'm the only one whose body looks like this,
Speaker 1: and she couldn't believe it. She was like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? And I said, there's no sample. I used
Speaker 1: to be a size four. I used to be a four,
Speaker 1: and even then there was a challenge. Yeah, even when
Speaker 1: you were a or it was like slim pickens, very
Speaker 1: very much like I was. They would be like, whoa
Speaker 1: if a sample fit, you know, and it's just like,
Speaker 1: you know, You're like, this is yes, yes, yes, yes
Speaker 1: there are there are, but it's not. It does take
Speaker 1: the fun out of it that it's like, oh, every
Speaker 1: time you or I go to something, I I paid
Speaker 1: a shipload of money to be there to do publicity
Speaker 1: for your show, wearing your clothes, what you know, whatever
Speaker 1: it is it is. Does your daughter say anything about
Speaker 1: your babies being out in certain looks? Sometimes she does.
Speaker 1: Sometimes she goes, oh baby, and yeah. Jason's response is
Speaker 1: basically the same, baby like, that's what they approve of
Speaker 1: seeing the babies. Um, babies are a big hit in
Speaker 1: this house. Oh god, well you've got fucking gorgeous ones.
Speaker 1: Thank you? So do you? Thank you? Does your daughter
Speaker 1: have a New Zealand esque accent on some words? She does?
Speaker 1: Like she says horse for horse, you know, she says
Speaker 1: horse and stuff like that in some words. But then
Speaker 1: she has this little like Californian accent. She's like she's like, yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: big surf bro, like yeah yeah, and she says funny
Speaker 1: things like we turned up the street. That was like,
Speaker 1: we were going home and we've like turned up a
Speaker 1: particular street and she goes, now we're on Fairfax. Nothing
Speaker 1: can stop us. It's like, what, it's not even like
Speaker 1: our street or you know, it's just like, first of all,
Speaker 1: that she you the fear fact was so strange to me.
Speaker 1: I was like, how do you know like fear facts?
Speaker 1: Nothing can stop us. She's saying all these crazy things.
Speaker 1: It's very cute. What does your support system look like?
Speaker 1: You so famously again me cut to me, everyone screaming
Speaker 1: from the rafters. I think you didn't even know it
Speaker 1: was going to be such a big freaking deal. But
Speaker 1: you thank your nanny at Critics Choice Awards. I lost
Speaker 1: my ship. You didn't think the shout out would blow
Speaker 1: up the way it did. Talk to me about that moment. First,
Speaker 1: I was very surprised. Like later on in the night,
Speaker 1: people were like, it's so great, that you think you're
Speaker 1: nanny like, and I was like, oh, thanks to me,
Speaker 1: she's everything. She you know, she's only with us in
Speaker 1: Canada because she's Canadian, but she was with me for
Speaker 1: the whole shoot of Yellow Jackets, just day in and
Speaker 1: day out, working so hard, absolute angel person um. And
Speaker 1: I just because I thought, well, of course I'm going
Speaker 1: to thank her. If I didn't have her, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to work. I'd be at work in a panic,
Speaker 1: because I've been in that situation before. I've had to
Speaker 1: like hire a babysitter and in the back of your mind,
Speaker 1: you know, you're just like, oh my god, is everything okay?
Speaker 1: Is everything okay? Even though they were right in my trailer. Um.
Speaker 1: So the gratitude I have for her is she's the
Speaker 1: coolest person. I love her so much. And I didn't
Speaker 1: get a past one to the Critics Choice Awards. I
Speaker 1: wasn't allowed to bring anybody because our cast is so big.
Speaker 1: So it was kind of wonderful because Jason for some
Speaker 1: reason just started recording when he was watching, and then
Speaker 1: he has this cute video of him being like, and
Speaker 1: you can hear Seally going she wants one, and Seally
Speaker 1: comes running in with Car here, and they're all in
Speaker 1: there and they're all what and he's just like panning
Speaker 1: around and Car he goes, Mama looks very red, which
Speaker 1: is true because I was like all flushed and like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. It was so amazing. It was so amazing.
Speaker 1: So your support system when you got home from the
Speaker 1: hospital with her, did you have help? What did that
Speaker 1: look like? And how has your support system? What does
Speaker 1: it look like now? My friend, I had her in
Speaker 1: Atlanta because Jason was working in Atlanta, so I had
Speaker 1: to have an emergency c section. There were three nights
Speaker 1: after she was born where he had to do night shoots.
Speaker 1: So I did have a night nurse for those three
Speaker 1: nights because he wasn't there to bring her from the
Speaker 1: crib to me. So I had a lovely lady, a
Speaker 1: friend of mine, I knew someone in Atlanta. Your first
Speaker 1: three nights that you brought your baby home, Jason had
Speaker 1: to shoot your well, the two of you, they didn't.
Speaker 1: He I went into labor at two am and he
Speaker 1: went to work at eight. I'm so disgusted, shocked, angered,
Speaker 1: and also the fact that the entire production didn't just say,
Speaker 1: by let us know when you're all okay and healthy
Speaker 1: and safe. We will figure it out. It's a fucking
Speaker 1: I mean. I had moved to Atlanta so so I
Speaker 1: could have the baby there, so he didn't have to
Speaker 1: leave to move back to Los Angeles like you know.
Speaker 1: And there was a wonderful experience, by the way, like,
Speaker 1: if I ever god willing fortunate enough to have another baby,
Speaker 1: I'll just move back to Atlanta, whether we're working there
Speaker 1: or not. I love my doctor. So your water broke
Speaker 1: on its own? Was your labor? Did you tell me
Speaker 1: about your birth experience? I went into labor on my
Speaker 1: jud date. Um, and he still had to go into work,
Speaker 1: and I I just didn't know how crazy it would get.
Speaker 1: So I said, okay, I guess I'll just text you
Speaker 1: and an to go to the hospital. I didn't know
Speaker 1: there would be points where I could pick up my phone,
Speaker 1: like it got so intense at a certain point. And
Speaker 1: were you by yourself? I was by myself? My god, Melanie,
Speaker 1: you by myself? At home? I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: going to make pancakes. It was my big plan. I
Speaker 1: couldn't do anything. So he finally was able to come
Speaker 1: home and get me to the hospital. Um, and everything
Speaker 1: was great. Everything was like going very smoothly. Everyone was like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe this baby's going to come on her
Speaker 1: due date. Oh my god. Crazy. And then she turned
Speaker 1: around when she was coming down the birth canal, she
Speaker 1: turned so she got stuck. Basically, I pushed for six hours.
Speaker 1: Did you have an epidural? I did it a student? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did too. I understand not I cannot know. I
Speaker 1: had an abiderl late, like late, I had been in
Speaker 1: labor for a long time. And then I just I
Speaker 1: felt like I was blind, like I couldn't see. I
Speaker 1: was wandering around the hotel room and I remember but
Speaker 1: my doula going, you're so close, and I just pushed her.
Speaker 1: I just like pushed past her. I just was like
Speaker 1: I couldn't really I could see a shape and I
Speaker 1: could hear her saying that, but I just was like,
Speaker 1: I need this, You're I'm in so much pain. I mean,
Speaker 1: she was almost ten pounds and she was turned backwards
Speaker 1: in the birth canal, and like the pain was insane.
Speaker 1: And once I had the aduro, it was great, Like
Speaker 1: I felt like I could relax a little bit, like
Speaker 1: the tension came out of my body, and I could
Speaker 1: push a lot more effectively, honestly. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: why are we shamed for this too? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: shamed for medication and childbirth, Like, what is going on
Speaker 1: with all of it? It's I'm I'm over the patriarchy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really I can't do it. It's really fucked up.
Speaker 1: You're shamed to have to be medicated. You're shamed to
Speaker 1: not be medicated. You're a shamed to breastfeed too short,
Speaker 1: You're sham to breastfeed too long. You're shaping. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: every fucking corner we turned. When so you had an
Speaker 1: emergency c SEC. Yeah, because her heart rate started dropping
Speaker 1: at a certain point and the doctor just said you
Speaker 1: gotta you know this has to happen. And I said,
Speaker 1: of course, And did you feel terrified? What will tell
Speaker 1: me what you were feeling at that moment? I just
Speaker 1: felt I trusted him so much. His name was Dr
Speaker 1: Brian Jewel in Atlanta, Georgia. He's absolutely amazing. I trusted
Speaker 1: him so much. My duelter was with me. I'd love
Speaker 1: her so much. To Megan Gateboard as her name if
Speaker 1: anyone's looking for an amazing duel in Atlanta um and
Speaker 1: they just both were like, yeah, it's time, and I
Speaker 1: said okay. And so I was lying there with Jason
Speaker 1: waiting to be taken in, and this elderly woman who
Speaker 1: had never seen before came into the room and grabbed
Speaker 1: my hands and said, you must do what you have
Speaker 1: to have this section. Do it for your baby. Your
Speaker 1: baby has to live. And I had already said yes.
Speaker 1: Like Jason was like, was this the ghost of even
Speaker 1: like who wasn't want an old nurse? I never saw
Speaker 1: her again. I never saw her before. I never saw her. Also,
Speaker 1: when are you when are you playing that part? Like that?
Speaker 1: My god, I don't know forty years from before out
Speaker 1: what's out? All right, okay, we're wrapping up really quickly.
Speaker 1: Tell me what it's like. How is it feeling raising
Speaker 1: a toddler right now? It's very, very fun. I'm very
Speaker 1: grateful to have a wonderful partner who's so good at playing,
Speaker 1: because there's so much playing and it doesn't come naturally
Speaker 1: to me. I wasn't like a very I was a
Speaker 1: kid who would like sit around reading books. But Jason
Speaker 1: is so good, he's so like imaginative and yeah, for
Speaker 1: all of you listening, I'm pretty sure. Like I remember
Speaker 1: Jason and Ny you like classical theater department, Like he
Speaker 1: was like the clowns in all the Shakespeare plays. He
Speaker 1: can do such fucking physical comedy, you can sucking pratt
Speaker 1: fall and you have sense said roll and play. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's one of the most talented people I've ever met.
Speaker 1: But um, I can only imagine him playing with your daughter.
Speaker 1: You were promoting Hulu's latest tie true crime miniseries, Candy,
Speaker 1: with your co star Jessica Beal. Jessica at one point
Speaker 1: asked you, what's been the toughest of many tough days
Speaker 1: to shoot Candy? But I want to know what's been
Speaker 1: one of the toughest, many tough days to be a parent?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. There was a period of time when
Speaker 1: Jason was shooting something in Vancouver and I was shooting
Speaker 1: in Toronto, and she was a newborn, and I was
Speaker 1: doing Mrs. America, the first job that I did after
Speaker 1: having her, and I just didn't I didn't have a
Speaker 1: seat up. It was before I kneit Sally. I didn't
Speaker 1: have a many I was just hiring babysitters. And some
Speaker 1: of those days were really, really tough and there was
Speaker 1: one day where I got gnar of IRUs. I wasn't working,
Speaker 1: he was in Vancouver. I was breastfeeding. I think she
Speaker 1: was ten months old at that time, and I didn't
Speaker 1: have anybody like a babysitter. Came in for like a
Speaker 1: couple of hours and had to go, and I just Melanie,
Speaker 1: I am losing my am I gonna do? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've had that And it was the most sick I've
Speaker 1: ever felt in my entire fucking life. You're literally throwing
Speaker 1: up on top of your diarrhea. It's a nightmare. And
Speaker 1: your breastfeeding a ten month old, your husband is three
Speaker 1: thousand miles away, and you don't have a full time nanny.
Speaker 1: I cannot, I cannot. It was crazy. I was grateful
Speaker 1: it was breastfeeding because I think it gave her the antimmunity.
Speaker 1: She didn't get sick. But um, that was that was
Speaker 1: a real world Yeah that's that. That takes a nice, nice,
Speaker 1: nice Okay, prize, Will you answer this question? Parenthood is
Speaker 1: all in compassing, enriching, beautiful, exhausting. I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: so many different things. It's all encompassing, which we've never
Speaker 1: had that answer before. And It's fucking great and very
Speaker 1: fucking true. It's just become like my the first thing
Speaker 1: I think she's She's she's my whole world, you know,
Speaker 1: in a way that really I was like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: this is incredible, Melanie. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: you taking the time. I think your story and your
Speaker 1: journey is so important for our listeners and for all
Speaker 1: moms out there, people trying to get pregnant, people who
Speaker 1: are currently pregnant, people with children, people who are working moms,
Speaker 1: people who are you check all the boxes for me,
Speaker 1: Melanie Lindy, You check all the boxes is how I feel.
Speaker 1: And I think you are so cocking incredible and yellow Jackets,
Speaker 1: I love you. I think you're so amazing, and I
Speaker 1: um all my love to Jason. You're the most wonderful.
Speaker 1: Thank you for doing this. It means so much. Thanks
Speaker 1: for having me. Thank you so much for having me
Speaker 1: give my love to Adam. Thank you guys so much
Speaker 1: for listening to today's episode. I want to hear from you.
Speaker 1: Let's chat questions, comments, concerns. Let me know. You can
Speaker 1: always find me at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com.
Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda land Audio in
Speaker 1: partnership with I heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shanda
Speaker 1: land Audio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.