WEBVTT - The Handyman of West Texas: Ep. 1 0:00:01.120 --> 0:00:04.000 Hey, Queen of the conn listeners, Jonathan Walton Here, I've 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:06.800 missed you. Come visit me at my new home. Just 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:10.640 search Jonathan Walton Media wherever you get your podcasts. In 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.520 the meantime, I have a brand new series you can 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:17.079 listen to right here, right now. It's called The Handyman 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:19.720 of West Texas. And if you've been watching that show 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:23.240 Land Man, what you're about to hear will blow your mind. 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:28.400 It's the most insane true story. And episode one starts 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.680 right now. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:58.240 We're both spent, we're sweaty, it's hot. We're laying there together, 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:00.760 side by side, naked on her rug in the living room. 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:03.080 Are you worried or husband might come home? 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:08.320 Not until we rolled over spent did that thought even 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:10.759 cross my mind. And then I was thinking, oh god, 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:12.880 you know Billy Bobb come home anytime, and you know, 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:13.880 murder us both. 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:20.319 That's how they handle things in Midland Texas. 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:21.360 Everyone has guns. 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:28.840 Yeah, And for any prolific sex worker in West Texas 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:34.280 whose client tele is predominantly wealthy housewives, getting shot on 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:40.280 the job is a real concern. Hundreds of women have 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:44.080 paid you under the guise of coming over being a 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:47.800 handyman and then they're really paying you for sex. Yes, 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:51.120 hundreds in Midland, Texas. 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:51.880 Yes. 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.920 The older I get, the more I realize nothing is 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:56.040 what it appears. 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:57.720 To be, not in the least. 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:11.640 I'm Jonathan Walton and this is the Handyman of West Texas. 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:24.720 Episode one. She was a deacon in her church. Yeah, 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:27.600 you're fine. They're very sensitive, but you know, closer to 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:33.720 the better obviously. It's okay, all right, excited on everything 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:37.000 sounds good. How would you introduce yourself? And I know, 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:39.000 I know we're trying to keep you anonymous, and we're 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:42.120 trying to we're protecting our identity. But what what name 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:42.720 do you go by? 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:43.960 I always go by Mickey. 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:53.680 Mickey like Mickey Mouse, Yeah, just like that. Mickey stands 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:58.840 about six ft tall, confident, lean, fit. He looks like 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:02.040 a man's man, someone you want to call when there's 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:08.040 a problem. Part bouncer, part rugged police officer. All right, Mickey, 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:10.120 So introduce yourself to people. If you're just meeting some 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:11.840 much for the first time, introduce yourself and tell me 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:12.200 what you do. 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:15.760 Oh, my name's Mickey, and I'm a kind of jack 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:19.640 of all trades and whatever you need done. You in 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.200 and out of your house. I'm pretty sure I can do. 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:26.120 It, And never has that sentence meant more than coming 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:28.880 from your mouth. Whatever you need done. 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:31.519 I kind of leave it open ended just for that reason. 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:36.600 For lack of a better term. You're a handyman. You 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:39.000 know how to fix things around the house. Like what 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:40.440 kinds of jobs do you do? 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.160 I could do flooring, I could do drywall, I could 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:46.720 do electrical, I could do plumbing. I can do framing, 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:53.520 I can do roofing. I can do exterior landscaping, fence building, rock, wall, 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:58.000 sheet rock, just about anything. If you have a home 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:00.640 that you don't like, I can rip it apart from 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:03.360 the ground up and rebuild it to your needs. 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:10.840 But Mickey isn't from Texas. He's actually born one thousand 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:14.400 miles west of Midland in Los Angeles in the late 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:21.560 nineteen seventies, and he lives in the city of Angels 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.880 until his early twenties before heading east. 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.880 So I was twenty three and then I got married, 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:45.280 moved to Texas. Was conservative, faithful, you know, father and 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:49.480 husband and going to work, coming home, you know, nine 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:53.040 to five kind of thing. 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:57.600 But after twenty years Mickey and his wife go their 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:01.200 separate ways and get divorced, and he rents his own 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:06.200 place in Midland and throws himself into his work. Mickey 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:08.760 is an oil guy, a fracker. 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:17.760 So the job basically is hooking up tons of iron 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:24.320 and equipment high pressure water induced pumps. And why they 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:28.000 call it fracking is because we're fracturing the earth. They 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:31.080 drilled down about three miles into the earth, and we 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:35.120 pump millions and millions of gallons of water under high 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:40.000 pressure with sand and force the earth fracture, and we 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:42.840 fill it with sand and crack it as far as 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:45.599 we can go. And then once we're done, we pump 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:47.680 out the water and oil comes out behind it. 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:48.960 Wow. 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:52.360 We are now the number one producer of oil in 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.720 the world, more than Saudi Arabia, more than Russia, more 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:59.000 than anyone, and seventy five percent of it is done 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:02.040 right there in the Midland, Texas area, which is surprising. 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.320 Yeah, and it recently it got my attention with that 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:11.000 hit show Land Man Billy Bob Thornton John Hamm. It's 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:14.360 set in the Midland area in the oil industry. 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.560 Oil and gas industry makes three billion dollars a day. 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:18.400 I'm pure of profit. 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:23.200 That's the scale that's the size of this thing, and it's. 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:24.040 Only getting bigger. 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.080 Yeah, And that's exactly the life I was living. Those 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:28.960 are the kind of guys that I work around, and 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:33.520 that's exactly it's pretty accurate assessment of what life out 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:37.400 there in Midland Texas. Is Land Man such an amazing show, 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:41.080 and it's pretty close to really that's life and I live. 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:50.120 It's a part of Texas, West Texas where black Gold 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:55.040 rain supreme. We're pistoning oil. Derricks pumping up Texas tea 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:59.920 from the depths are everywhere you look, and millionaire mercenaries 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:04.480 lined up by the thousands, are cashing in left and right. 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.880 It's a boomtown when things are great, and it's a 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:11.040 ghost town when it's not. Because the price oil goes down, 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:14.080 then we can't afford to do what we do. Really, 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.960 But when the price oil is anywhere over sixty dollars 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:19.560 a barrel, which I think right now it's maybe eighty five, 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:24.239 they're making millions every single minute that we pump. 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:27.760 So it's almost like it sounds like fracking is like 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:31.000 squeezing all the oil out of the sand and rock. 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:33.480 That's basically what it is. It's trapped. 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:35.040 It's trapped in the sand and rock. 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:37.440 Yeah, back in the old days, you would drill a 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:40.280 hole and you know, hope for the best that where 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:42.080 you were drilling there was oil underneath there. 0:07:42.440 --> 0:07:43.400 You poke the hole. 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.240 Once you hit oil, it starts coming out. It's not 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.160 that way at all with fracturing. We know what's under there, 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:50.360 but we have to force it out. 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:55.080 It reminds me of that opening scene in the Beverly Hillbillies, 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:57.240 you know, where he's shooting for food and then he 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.920 shoots into the ground and then oil just starts bubbling. 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:00.840 First thing. 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:03.560 You know, Old Jud's a millionaire. The kinfolks said y. 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:06.640 Had moved away from there, said, California is a base 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:08.480 you order do so they loaded. 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:08.880 Up the truck. 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:17.280 Hills that is, swimming Pools, movie Stars, Beverly Hillbilly. God, 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:19.800 that's burned into my head so much from childhood. Did 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:23.240 you watch that show? I did, The Beverly Hillbilly's. So 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:26.560 that's how oil was so easily accessible back in the day, 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:28.440 which has come up out of the ground. Yeah, but 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:29.080 not anymore. 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.760 First of all, all the areas where that type of 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:40.320 oil is, you know accessible is are bought by all 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:43.559 the chevrons and all the big companies of the world. 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:44.640 And they've sucked it out. 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.720 They've well they've not so much sucked it out as 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:51.120 they've laid claim to the land. Right, so they decide, 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:53.200 you know, ah, we need a little bit more. Let's 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:55.280 go pocohol over here, pocohol over there. 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:57.000 Yeah, and in. 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:59.960 The middle and area, the premium basin that area is 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:04.520 still very much wide open though there's still land to buy. 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:08.079 But it went from maybe five hundred dollars an acre 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:11.360 to ten thousand dollars an acre just because they know 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:12.400 what's underneath the ground. 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:15.920 Now, Yeah, they can squeeze the oil out of the sand. 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:18.680 To as much as they can. Three miles is pretty deep. Yeah, 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:23.000 and they're drilling three miles deep and it's horizontal drilling, 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.480 so it's not down anymore. It's down and then it 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.559 starts curving. Makes that like a ninety degree angle. Wow, 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:37.040 three miles under the earth. So technologies come a long way. 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:41.640 Fracking in Middland, Texas is like what casinos are in 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:46.080 Las Vegas, Nevada, or what Disney World is in Orlando, Florida. 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:49.760 It's the reason people go, and it's the land of 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:53.439 opportunity come as you are. You don't need a college 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:57.120 degree or even a high school diploma. You just need 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.040 to be willing and able. 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:04.480 The median income of this desert town is eighty or 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:05.440 ninety thousand dollars. 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:05.680 Wow. 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:08.280 Because you can get a kid off the streets who's 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:10.240 never worked a day in his life in the oil field, 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:11.800 and you're starting at sixty five thousand. 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.160 Wow. Yeah, that's attractive. Yeah. 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.240 And I know there's a lot of controversy with fracking. 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:18.280 It pollutes the groundwater. 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:20.520 We're raping Mother Earth every day. 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:21.079 Wow. 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:23.319 Yeah, there's no other way to look at it, because 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:25.520 that's what we're doing. You can have every car in 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:29.040 the America electric car, you're still going to need patrolling products. 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:33.000 Everything is made oil everything, Plastic everything plastic. Guess what, 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:34.240 we live in a plastic world. 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:35.600 We do live in a plastic world. 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:39.160 So I live in La probably the most plastic of 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:39.520 them all. 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:40.320 Plastic key. 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:45.920 But Midland, Texas is the polar opposite of Los Angeles, 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:48.959 California in every conceivable way. 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.760 There are no homeless people in the Midland, Texas. 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:57.120 That's interesting. 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.440 So is it that Midland has solved homelessness or is 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:01.560 it just too damn hot. 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:08.400 No, it's the absence of protective laws. I guess that government, 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:10.040 what are you applying? 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.160 I would homeless people get shot and eaten. 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:15.560 They would get beaten and dragged away to another town. 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:16.000 Uh. 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.920 Yeah, they don't want people lie around on their corners 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:23.200 or you know, occupying the size of their freeways. 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:24.880 In Midland, they figured it out. 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:27.520 They figured it out, and it's not a friendly figure out. 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:30.079 No, it's it's the suspension of law and order and 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:34.200 you know, just to get it done, kind of rambow type. Minute, 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:35.920 Can I get something to eat this time? 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.120 How would you describe Midland for people who don't know 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:45.520 that part of Texas? I mean, people know Dallas, people 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:49.160 know Houston, people know Austin, keep Austin weird. It's where 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:53.359 all the music festivals and stop by Southwest. But Midland, Texas' 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:54.080 what's that lie? 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:54.480 Inland? 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:57.480 Texas is as far away from any of that as 0:11:57.480 --> 0:12:01.120 you can imagine. So you can stand in one place, 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.200 doesn't matter where you're at in town, do a whole 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:09.800 gree sixty and you're looking at desert. There is nothing 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:14.120 out there. This is an oil town, oil industry. I 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.800 would say eighty percent of the population has some kind 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:21.560 of job in and around the oil field. There's nothing 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:25.240 in Midland. You know, you had to visit for whatever 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:27.320 reason you were punished. The biggest thing to see is 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.680 like the house that George w grew up in. 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:34.840 Growing up with mother and dad was an interesting experience. 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.720 They made a little kind of museum out of it. 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:41.559 Regular you know, to bedroom, one bath house in the 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:43.280 middle of town and that's about it. 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:45.320 So that's the draw of Midland. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.600 Yes, well it's not a draw, but it's something to 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.199 do while you're there. And the stadium where they did 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:52.360 Friday Night Lights. 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.400 We've got Texas High school football and his bondes. No 0:12:55.520 --> 0:13:06.679 doubt it's going to be at all. And what brought 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:07.480 you to Midland. 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.840 Hydraulic fracturing boom was in the Midland area and the 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:14.400 Permium basin and there's apparently billions of billions of dollars 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.360 worth of oil underneath the Midland area. And I got 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:20.200 a job there. That's how I discovered that Midland existed. 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:23.400 How would you describe the culture of Midland, Texas. 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:25.959 It's right in the center of the Texas Bible belt. 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.720 You know, there's actually some counties around us that won't 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:30.000 sell alcohol really. 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.120 Yeah, Like you can't get alcohol anywhere anywhere. 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:36.200 They're called dry counties and you drive through them and 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:40.800 there's they won't sell them in liquor, No supermarket alcohol, 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.240 no nothing. You cannot and it's illegal if you bring 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.880 alcohol into a dry county you can get arrested. 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:47.959 Oh my god. 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:50.800 And then they have some crazy laws. When I first 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.320 moved there, I didn't understand it. On Sundays they don't 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:56.320 sell alcohol. You can buy beer, but not alcohol for 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:59.920 some reason, and you can't buy it before noon because 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:03.080 you have to wait until the church is over. It's 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.679 it's an actual law all throughout Texas. 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.840 You can't drink until noon and a Sunday on. 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:10.520 A Sunday after church, and only beer for some reason. 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:12.480 What about the hole he turned water into wine thing? 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:19.520 Apparently not in Texas. 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:24.320 So everyone goes to church in Midland. 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.600 Texas as far as I know, Yeah, are there a 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:27.400 lot of churches. 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:35.040 There's churches everywhere. It'd be Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic. 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:35.880 What are you. 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:38.600 None of the above. 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.480 Technically, I guess I'm Catholic, but yeah, I haven't gone 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.640 to church in decades. You grew up Catholic, Catholic school 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:46.400 for twelve. 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:48.320 Years, and that turned you off. 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:51.840 Of Catholics, completely well organized religion in general. 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:01.560 Mickey is raised in a devout Catholic household. His teachers 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:06.440 at school are nuns and priests. He grows up very sheltered, 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:10.800 and he actually has no idea that he's well hung, 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.160 like really really well hunged. 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.920 I have eight and a half thick inches, and I 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.600 always please eight and a half inches eight and a 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.360 half and thick. Don't forget the thick because that makes 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:24.080 a big difference. 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:27.480 Wow, I mean that's impressive. How do you go your 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.600 whole life and not know you're you have a huge 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:30.600 thing down there. 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:35.680 You know, it's it's my only point of reference, you know, 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:37.960 up to that point was pornos. 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:42.160 I have something for you right here. Wow. 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.080 You know, and as far as I knew, you know, 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.640 I look like all the guys in the pornos, So. 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.200 I thought, so you thought that's normal. 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:54.720 Yeah, I mean, like I said, no other point of reference. 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:57.480 So growing up, you weren't in like changing rooms with 0:15:57.560 --> 0:15:59.880 other boys or other men, and no one would say. 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:04.480 Hey, Catholic school, they didn't do they didn't do the 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:06.720 shower room kind of deal, you. 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.239 Know, everyone's ashamed, everyone's covered. 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.480 Up, everyone's hiding. You have your own little stalls and 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:15.080 kind of deal, and there's no group showers or yeah. 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:19.320 I had no nothing to compare it to except you know, 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:22.120 for what I saw, which, yeah, all those guys are 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.360 the same size as me, but but. 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:25.360 Those guys are huge. 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:30.160 I didn't know that. I thought, Hey, all right, I'm 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:31.200 like those guys, I'm good. 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:39.360 Wow. You know, and you're married for twenty years to 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.440 the same woman. So does she ever tell you, oh 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:43.400 my god, you're hurting me, this is huge. 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:47.320 Or yeah at first, and you know, I thought, you know, 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:51.040 that's normal I had. I had, you know, kind of 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:54.440 a repressed Catholic upbringing where you don't talk about sex, 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:56.280 you don't talk about you know, those kind of things. 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:58.280 So I was like, okay, well, I guess sex at 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:01.080 first is supposed to hurt the woman and they get 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:01.560 used to it. 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:03.200 Yeah. 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:03.440 It was. 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:08.240 It was a terrible us conception that I just you know, 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:11.439 worked through until after I got divorced and I started 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:15.920 getting more and more kind of an inkling into hey, 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:20.280 maybe I'm not just like everybody else, because I would 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.160 hear comments, man, you're the biggest I've ever had You're 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:24.600 so huge or this and that. 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.199 I think if you were a kid growing up in 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.840 a regular environment outside of a Catholic school, like a 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.120 regular school where all the boys are changing in front 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:38.199 of each other, I think you would have been a 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:42.800 spectacle because in these types of situations, the big guys 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:44.440 are like, oh my god, look at you know. They 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:49.080 everyone's got a nickname, like you know, Artfart or Elephant 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.560 trunk girl. You know, like kids give each other nicknames 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:55.520 based on, you know, anatomy, like my buddy Evan went 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:57.880 to school with a guy who had a huge dick 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.680 everyone saw in the locker room and they called him 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:03.880 the serpent because it bit And I think that would 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.800 have happened to you. But you went to Catholic school. 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:10.120 Everyone changed in secret. There were no public showers where 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.840 you saw other boys. So you had this giant tool 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:14.919 down there and you didn't know it was giant. And 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.400 your only comparison is pornos, and all the guys look 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:19.600 like you and the pornos. 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.600 So you think, oh, I'm normal exactly. 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:23.959 So the wedding night with your wife, did you just 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:27.480 like tear it up? Didn't you just? Did she call 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:29.040 a doctor the next day, like. 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:33.840 Yeah, the first time was I guess, you know, hard 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.400 for her, It was great for me, and I didn't realize. 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:38.800 You know, we had to take a break for like 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:45.240 a week, and again I was like, you know, this, 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:48.280 this is normal as far as you know, as far 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:51.080 as I knew, I had been with several women before 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:54.720 I got married, But again I was really young, and 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:58.240 I attributed to you know, everyone giving oh you're the 0:18:58.240 --> 0:18:58.880 most beautiful. 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:00.800 Yeah right, they're just nice exactly. 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:02.240 It's like you would say to the girl, oh you're 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:06.000 so beautiful. Really you just nice to say she's not ugly, 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.440 but you're just harping on something to have something nice 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:09.120 to say, and I. 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:11.399 Thought they were just reading the same thing back to 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:13.280 me being polite exactly. 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:20.240 So you have this, for lack of a better term, 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:23.840 this asset your entire life and you don't realize it. 0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:27.280 How old were you when you realized that eight point 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:31.879 five inches is way above the standard equipment issue to 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:32.440 most men. 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:34.280 I was in my mid forties. 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:36.439 You're in your mid forties. 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:38.040 Before I realized, yeah, oh my god. 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.120 After I got divorced, and what are you now, forty nine? 0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:43.240 I'm forty nine now so just a few years ago. 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:46.960 Yeah, I'm about to be fifty next month, and yeah, 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.719 mid forties. Before I realized that I was a lot 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:56.359 bigger than the average guy. I learned over time that 0:19:56.480 --> 0:19:59.879 the average you know, penisize anywhere from forty five inches, 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:02.359 and I was eight and a half and quite thick. 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:07.200 And what's fascinating to me is the moment you realize 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:09.560 you were a lot bigger than the average guy is 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:14.399 the same exact moment you realize when people call a handyman. 0:20:15.119 --> 0:20:17.800 Some have other ideas in mind. 0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:21.919 Yeah. Again, I guess I was living a sheltered life 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:27.840 or just didn't realize that this lifestyle existed. I was 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:31.800 sheltered from the reality that was out there. And the 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:35.439 first time that I was called to, you know, I 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:41.560 thought a legitimate handyman job and it turned sexual. Did 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:45.240 I realize, Hey, this exists. Different realm of what my 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:48.840 existence had been until that point was out there, especially 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:49.880 in a town like Midland. 0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:52.639 That's what blows my mind. 0:20:52.720 --> 0:21:04.720 Man, Midland, Midland, Texas, MyD of the Bible Belt. Yeah. 0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:08.240 The other thing about Midland, Texas is a lot of 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:11.920 people work there, but not a lot of people live there. 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:16.000 The city's population is just over one hundred and forty thousand. 0:21:16.200 --> 0:21:19.159 No one lives in Midland, Like I said, there's nothing there. 0:21:19.440 --> 0:21:23.840 So every single oil field worker basically commutes for wherever 0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:28.560 their home base is, Houston, Dallas, Albuquerque. Mine was Albuquerque, 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:32.480 so I lived in Albuquerque. I would drive to Midland, 0:21:32.640 --> 0:21:35.760 stay there for the two weeks that I would be working, 0:21:36.560 --> 0:21:39.600 and then come back for a week in Albuquerque, so 0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:42.320 on and so forth. But after I got divorced, I 0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:45.200 actually moved to Midland. Why do the commute. 0:21:44.840 --> 0:21:47.040 When you're not going home to a wife anymore? 0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:50.919 Exactly? And so for the last four years I've been 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:51.800 in Midland living. 0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:02.600 How long were you in Midland when you put up 0:22:02.640 --> 0:22:04.200 that first handyman ad? 0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:08.679 Just a couple months. I just got myself settled, got 0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:12.080 a place, and I was working, and two days into 0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:14.000 it I got bored. I was like, what am I 0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:16.080 going to do? I have a whole week to do nothing. 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:20.480 So Mickey has a two week on, one week off 0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:23.760 work schedule, and it'd be different having a week off 0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:28.480 in Houston or Dallas or Austin or San Antonio or 0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:33.480 any other metropolitan area, but a week off with nothing 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:38.439 to do in Midland, Texas can drive a person mad. 0:22:39.280 --> 0:22:42.560 So Mickey, who's always been a man who can build 0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:47.440