WEBVTT - No Autographs, Please!: "Epcot Hedda!" w/ Drew Droege 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.680 Hi, you guys. I know that we are not in 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:05.760 season right now. First of all, don't forget doctor Bannana. 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:10.600 We're gonna be in Brooklyn this Saturday night, April fifteenth 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:14.960 at the Bellhouse. Michelle Collins, Jackith, we have Margaret and 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:19.000 Joe from Real Housewives of New Jersey. My Carozza will 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:22.840 be there. But more importantly, I have a new podcast 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:26.200 and it's with this king, my darling, Ryan Safie. I 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.000 gotta say, my queen, Yeah, I have never had more 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:31.160 fun in my life. Can I just say I feel 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:33.720 exactly the same way as like playing Patty. Like when 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.120 I listen to it back, I L O L literally 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:37.760 just maybe gross, but I do you know what I 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:40.000 do too? And I really hate the sound on my 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:44.680 own voice. So this is called it's called no autographs. Please. Yes, 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:47.680 we're gonna drop each week when you would normally beginning 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:49.720 and will accept this rose, We're gonna just put it 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:51.600 in our feed. You're gonna we're gonna put the first 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:53.599 three episodes when we would normally be putting it up. 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:55.800 But if you want to like and subscribe us to us, 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:57.120 that way you can get them. We have a whole 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:59.640 bunch of episodes coming out, Yes, and uh you can 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.720 find out autographs please anywhere you'd get a podcast, please 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.319 rate review five stars only yea, The Kiese is gonna 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.560 be on. Michael Hitchcock, Lauren Lopez, Paul Tompkins, Drew Droggie, 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:12.400 Carl Tart, Lacy Moseley, all the stars, all the stars. 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:15.480 It's honestly, what's so fun? If you like hang doctor Banana, 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:18.319 if you like just hanging out with us, we hope 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:19.880 you really like this and if you do like it, 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.600 if we hope you would like follow and subscribe, maybe 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:24.319 leave a little rating. That would be so great as 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.120 we want show. It helps the show and we want 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:30.200 to get picked up for more. Okay, here's episode one 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:38.839 of no autographs please? No? Who are you? Where? Will 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:46.960 there be pressed a Honey and Bryan? I hear it 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:55.919 laught of podocast, but Honey, no, no, no, no, please 0:01:56.480 --> 0:02:01.360 we leave it and Lemon Life celebrities did share it up? 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:19.919 Autographs please? No autograph? Arden who did do your contour? 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:22.920 Thank you so much? My cat Mittens did it this morning. 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:25.240 It looks gorgeous. I picked her from the shelter because 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.240 she had thumbs and I was like, if you're coming 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.760 home with me. You better work on it and she 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:32.480 can beat a face. Hello, and welcome to the first 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.880 episode ever of No Autographs Please? Did you have to 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:37.480 sign any on the way here? You know what? It 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:40.000 was really awkward. I got stopped by a couple of 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:42.840 birds between my front house and I did the press. 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.720 I think the press is here, depressed? Did you? And 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:47.760 my name is ARDA Marine. I'm with my best friend 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:53.600 Brian Sophie. Hi, beautiful baby boy. Now Arden, Hi, we're 0:02:53.639 --> 0:02:55.920 doing your podcast. I know. Okay? Did you have decign? 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:58.399 Did you have to sign autographs this morning? I only 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:01.200 had to sign one autograph this morning, and it was 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.160 technically a bill, but it was a bill for something 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:07.239 pretty cool. Would you buy energy? It was my gas bill? 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:13.480 So I was super pumped about that. Yeah. Yeah, Anna 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:16.639 is also here with us by doctor Banana. Hello, No 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:20.160 autographs please, Yanna. Damn. I felt like when we were 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:25.640 at Bravo Con together, people wanted doctor Banana's autograph. Oh yes, okay, okay, great, 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:29.639 So here we are Brian. Now let's just introduce herselves 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.120 to our listeners in our friendship. Okay, Arden and I. 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:35.920 Actually the way we mess awful was actually the day 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:39.400 after your dad died, I think was it on Twitter? 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:42.040 And Arden DMed me. I was like, hey, listen to 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.520 my dad just died. I'm looking for friends. And she goes, 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:46.200 and she goes, I think you're really funny. I heard 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.160 you on Lauren as you do when your dad dies, 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:50.440 you go on twitterlready made friends. And then we met 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:52.680 and she finally she goes, it's just so great, like 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:57.000 she goes, I had literally never heard of you. She 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:58.800 got she was, and then we were like meet the 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:00.360 people show like this is Brian. You know, I never 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:01.760 I didn't even know who he was. I never got 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:04.080 a part of it. Look, I was out of my mind. 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:05.720 But look, because I think I got I didn't know 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:08.120 what to do with myself. So I went and got 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:10.720 a manicure and I listened to you with Lauren Loppez 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.520 and you played Bobby Bobby Brown. Yeah that's right, you're 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.640 Bobby Bobby Brown the male makeup, the male makeup aar 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.880 and I became obsessed with you and I hunted you down. 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.080 I like, you're the only person who's DMS I've ever 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.680 slid into so rudely, by the way, it was wonderful. 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:28.880 And then we became friends, and we've become such good friends. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:31.720 We vacation together. We vacation. We freeload from my brother 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:33.680 and Verde Island. We do. We take over his house 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:36.279 for like a month, for like literally a month every summer, 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:39.159 and we are we live like raccoons, like none of 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:41.280 neither of us knows how to cook. We belong or 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.920 we don't belong. We get invited to the golf club, 0:04:43.960 --> 0:04:46.080 the tennis club. But we have to pretend to be married. Yes, 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:48.479 we have to tend to be so I'm always like, 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:51.080 so I'm all over y yes, of course. And we 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:52.880 so it's like a town where you kind of have 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.760 to know, like in order to get access to things. 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:57.720 So we sneak and we pretend to be married. We're 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:00.400 a married couple. We went to a yacht party when 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.920 we were there called YACHTI by Nature. It was a 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:06.760 band called YACHTI by Nature. It was the waspiest Yeah 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:11.080 get out, yes, wonder yes. Actually everyone was very lovely. 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:13.719 But then the band was called Anchor Management. Anchor Management. 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.640 All I know is this, Yeah, I walked by an 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.000 elderly couple. First of all, the woman and the couple 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:21.359 had cheated at tennis that morning. She was probably with 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:23.520 US fifty five and I was playing gets short. I 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:28.560 was getting so set because everything all white, full salteam yeah. 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:31.480 And she's talking to I assume her husband yes, And 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:33.840 as I walk by her, she looks at her husband 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.680 and she goes, You think Little Women is the worst 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:41.200 book ever written. That YACHTI by nature, that anchor management, 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.200 and I thought to myself, you know what, this is 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.160 a successful marriage. And Luisa may Alcott wrote this book 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.560 for the husband. By the way, you know what that is. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.640 That's a real no autograss please energy. That's a real 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:54.360 no autograss please energy. So the reason Arden and I 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.960 have decided to do No Autograss Please, And sort of 0:05:56.960 --> 0:06:00.680 the theme of the show is how we handle fame. 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.280 We handle fame, but also we really don't. We really 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.839 appreciate people who don't give a fun Well. I feel 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:10.560 like both of us come from like we both sometimes 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:13.520 can be hard on ourselves, and we do love pop culture, 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:16.560 We love glamour. We were rabid consumers of pop culture. 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:19.200 But beyond that, like so sometimes you'll see in pop 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:21.839 culture and in your life people that seem to navigate 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:25.600 the world with such delusional confidence. It's one I am 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:27.960 actually so envious of that, That's what I'm saying. So 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.280 we're very hard on ourselves. I think we're extra hard 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.839 on ourselves. And I feel like getting that energy so 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:37.160 like of that kind of like you know what that 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.880 faked team American no like like racial energy, yes you 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:47.600 know or I exactly yes, just delusion, delusional and confident. 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:50.159 I mean, I do stand up and sometimes you'll like 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:52.680 sometimes you'll be these stand ups like these kind of 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.800 bros like and again some of them are like the 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:57.800 ones that like you just watched the set and like 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:00.320 like it went fine. And I'm saying I've plenty of 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.599 sets of crushing, but like he'll come on people to 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.680 like fucking killed it. I crushed it and Miller like 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:10.320 crushed it, And I thought, how do so we want 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:12.800 to harm us? Now? You saw a woman one time 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:15.960 wearing a sweatshirt? Oh yeah, one time? Okay, tell me. 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:18.160 But I will say that the reason for going into 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.440 this is because we do feel like we have some 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:22.760 no autographs please honorees. These are people who really give 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.440 off great no please energy. Yes, these are so if 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:28.200 you're looking like who can be somebody that I'm looking 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:31.680 to to bring some no autographs please Energy. Really honestly, 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:32.920 you have to write us and tell us because we 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:34.840 will honor them on the show. They each get a trophy. 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:36.920 Senter them emails who you want to or tweet to 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:39.320 us who you want to honor with the no autographs 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:42.760 please Energy. We have some like old school classics. So 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:46.960 there's a there's old school classic. Well, our first inductee, yes, 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:50.600 Hilaria Baldwin. Yes, hilariaw People say, isn't that too topical? 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:52.440 And I say, absolutely not. Do you think she's going 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.400 to stop anytime soon? Here's the thing that's I remember. 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.080 She was the holiday, she was the Christmas she was 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:00.800 like Christmas camera. It was right around Christmas when people 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:07.440 were like, she's not Spanish. Her name is like Hillary whatever, Swank, Swank, Hillary, 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.640 She's from Massachusetts. Hillary Swank, by the way, is a 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:14.720 phenomenal character actress, phenomenal. She would be a great Hilario. 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.480 She would be a great Hilaria. Yeah. So it turned 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:21.160 out they're like, she's literally from like around where I 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:25.480 grew up. She's she's from like the Massachusetts area, and 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:29.000 she is pretending to be Spanish because her she went 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:32.679 on like a trip was to like like like Barcelona 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:36.760 or Barcelona. And then so there's videos of her on 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:40.280 the Today Show this is back in the day doing 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:44.080 a cooking segment where she was like going trying to 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.000 like find the word for cucumber, but she could remember 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:52.760 in English. She was like, how you sayok, like cucumber. Yeah, ah, yes, yes, cucumber. 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:56.199 And it's like you're from Boston, so brilliant. And then 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:58.599 she's still doing it, like she just did it and 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:01.200 she got called out. She's like, oh, that's right, I forgot. 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:02.640 I only went there for like a couple of weeks. 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.040 And then now that he's just back in actually with 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:07.719 the accent, she's like, please, can you imagine being called 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:10.120 out like that and you absolutely just don't stop. It 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.720 truly is goals for me. It's incredible and just be 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:15.679 like and you double down and did you sexy yoga poses? 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:19.880 Like incredible. I now am insistent on my Hillary Swank 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:24.160 as Hilaria idea, and I actually think it could be 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:29.120 part documentary, yeah, part narrative, and it's Hillary versus Hilaria. 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:32.040 It's like Julie and Julia, except we get to see 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.800 Hillary swink during the day and then Hilaria at night, 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:36.559 and we get to see which is you know, little 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:39.640 little more. No, I have to say, you just made 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:42.120 eye contact with our guests. And I know we weren't 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.600 planning on bringing him in till a little bit later, 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:46.640 but there's a part of me that is dying to 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.280 hear his thoughts on no autographs, please energy. So we 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:51.439 just introduce our future guests. We introduced who's going to 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:53.760 be playing with us today, the one and only you 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.240 know him. He's fucking no, he's a genius. You've seen 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.440 him on bobs Burgers, Yes, of course, You've seen him 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:00.960 on Drunk History. You've seen him on anything that's worth laughing. 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:02.839 He had this brilliant show that I saw in Los 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:05.280 Angeles before I moved to New York. You're called Happy 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:09.360 Birthday Dog. But like, he's brilliant. We love him so much, 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:14.880 ladies and gentlemen. Drew Drogue, I'm dying over here. I'm like, 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:19.600 it's so hard to like, cough a little bit the 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:24.680 other room and give us Lario, give us like the energy. Sly. 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:26.480 I have not followed her that much, but did you 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:28.600 know that she's fake Spanish? Yes? I did. Know about 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.640 the fake spanishing. I did know about the cucumber thing. 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:33.480 I did see the video like what she's screaming about, 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:39.240 like please recently, and it is like, yes, on one hand, 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:42.240 like their family is going going through absolute hell right now, 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.680 but it's also like it feels like there is part 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:49.520 of her that's like really enjoying so great about it. 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:55.280 It's like please, yes, please, But it's also I'm amazed 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:58.240 at people like I'm amazed with like Austin Butler, who's 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:02.160 just decided he's Elvis. Now Gozzling has just decided he's 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:07.280 a gangster. He's like Canada, He's Canadian. What's he doing well, 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:10.000 Liker Gosling talks like Robert de Niro now, And it's 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:12.080 like these actors that are just like I'm taking on 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.920 this personality. Yeah, he used to be Mickey Mouse whatever, 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:18.120 Mickey Mouse exactly. He was Orlando's he was in the 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:24.080 Mickey Mouse Gang. Yeah, they run a tight ship at 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.360 City Walk, they does troll up and down City Walk. 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:31.320 I just recently someone who got married yes at Disneyland, 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:34.720 which to me is hell. If I like the love 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.559 of my life, if he was like, we're gonna get 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:40.680 married at Disneyland. I'm we're out, I will be I'll 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:44.040 be alone this weekend. And they're like, you can get married. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:48.560 We did the gondola at the Venetias. That's so get 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:50.120 married on the white boat. And they're like, we can 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:54.400 get you married in thirteen minutes. Okay, just in time 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:59.400 for a crab buffet. Like I saw I saw a 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:01.720 T shirt. It was I'm sorry, just there was a 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:04.480 T shirt that was waiting outside in Vegas that was 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:09.360 called it was like it literally said farts loading zone 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:12.880 and it was loading. It was like on that was 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:15.880 like they put it on means so like loaded all 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:18.760 the food for farts to happen later. It was literally 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:23.000 on the mannequin outside the store. That poor mannequin. She 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:27.199 didn't ask for that. No, sorry, I'm sorry. Fart now loading, 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:31.520 fart now loading so hot. And they were like put 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:34.240 this house every morning. That's no, that's no auto gress. 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.960 Please edit. I have bad news. I have that shirt 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:40.880 you have fart no load. I bought it Vegas, what 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:44.360 I bought on Amazon. Wow, that's amazing. I mean I 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:46.800 love I wanted it. Did you wear it yet? Have 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:55.480 you worn it? So? Disneyland. So the marriage okay, two things. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:13:00.400 I guess if you're going flun T shirts, T shirt chokes. Yeah, 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:02.680 one T shirt. I saw Disneyland the last disney World 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.360 the last time I was there, which I've only been twice. 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.160 You love it? I don't, actually, But the last time 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:08.440 I was there, there was a T shirt they were 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:12.440 selling with Pinocchio had the long nose midwa yea yeah, lying, 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:14.920 he was lying, and the shirt said I didn't come 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:19.839 here for the churros. Hilarious. So I guess bunny because 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:26.240 he did lying. He did. That's an that Yeah, that's excessive, 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:29.800 that's an expensive Maybe his nose is auro. I wanted 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:31.200 to buy it so badly, but I didn't. But the 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:33.960 other eight by ten wedding photo I saw, yes, eight 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.600 by ten, Yes in a cubicle. Yes, okay, yeah that 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:39.880 I I don't want to get into the backstory. But 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:41.720 I was in this office building of a Saturday, so 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:46.240 no one else. Yes, you're still just like an office building. 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.080 I had to pick something up from somewhere and I 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:51.199 happened to have the skeleton key. This is actually a 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:56.240 true story recently, why skeleton Okay? Great? Okay. Brian works 0:13:56.280 --> 0:14:01.360 on accounts payable undercover though, Yeah, don't tell anyone. Don't 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:05.520 tell any whether my acting is pay for my p 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:08.840 is it press here? So this eight by ten foot 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:10.600 on this swim's desk. Yeah, she was in a full 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:15.559 bedding dress at Disney World. Her veil was a white 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.320 Mickey Mouse hat with a veil and it was like 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.600 an ears, an ear's veil. It was all sewn together. 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:26.640 She walked down the aisle like this and I could 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:31.760 not believe. I could not believe my eyes. And I 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:35.160 thought to myself, did she Did she have adult braces? 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.080 You know what? It was hard to tell. Well, it's 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:39.520 something if you want to hide your adult braces, put 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.080 on giant Mickey Mouse ears as you walked down the aisle, 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:46.120 because that's all people will be looking at. What was 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.760 how weird? And it was attached to the veil, Yes, 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:51.840 it was like a piece. It was one big piece 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:56.800 white ears. Oh and I thought to myself, first of all, 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:00.920 we know you're a virgin for some one hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:03.000 truly the picture was very They were looking each other 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.000 very seriously. It was actually very romantic. I mean. But 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:07.640 also if you have a big wedding, but you can't 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:09.840 have a big wedding party because you're blocking out so 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:14.520 many people behind you. It could be near you, behind 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:17.120 you that the ears like take over. I have a 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:19.880 big question, Yeah, that I think relates to everything we've 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:23.880 talked about. Was Mickey Mouse supposed to be funny because 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:26.520 he's not? He's not? Was he supposed to be I 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:29.680 doctor Banana? I think, wasn't it? Sort of? I mean, 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.120 you know, I thought Donald was the funny rascal and 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:35.160 Mickey was the nice Goofy's, the funny one Goofy's the Yeah, 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:37.800 I think it was like you're supposed to relate to Mickey, 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:39.640 I think, and he was sort of like he was 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.280 just like an everyman, right, No, I think you're right. Okay, 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.800 before we get to our next what is the sweat 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:48.880 shirt that you saw? Oh you'll love this is your 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:51.160 Drugget character. There was a woman this is real, no 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:53.560 autograph please, energy, there was a woman at the grocery store. 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:57.520 And recently, yes, of course. And I love a statement piece, 0:15:57.840 --> 0:15:59.760 and I love a literal statement on a shirt. Yes, 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.000 and this was I think of you every time I 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:03.440 see what on screen. Grads so many of them and 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:05.400 send them to you. Maybe this one. I can't remember 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:06.760 if I've told you this. There was a woman at 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:11.200 the grocery store, which store, which grocers bangs all around 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:17.200 her head short crop, it's a head full of trams, 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:22.400 headful of Yeah. I was obviously like watching her because 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:24.200 I and you could see from a distance her shirt 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:25.760 had something on it, like letters on it. And I 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:27.800 thought to myself, like, oh, I got I gotta go 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:31.400 see what this is. So I walked by her in whatever, 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:36.240 I'll remember, when I was buying some different you know, ornaments. 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:38.960 I don't know if it was Christmas or gals. He 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:41.400 loves it. He's very right. I don't know, please please, 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:45.000 I understand. Anyway, So I passed by her in the 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:46.880 front of her shirt and said, I sure do mis 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:50.960 teaching kindergarten. And I was like, oh, that's sweet, I guess. 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:53.720 And then I walked past you because you know, you 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:57.360 go like this. Yeah. There was another message on the 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:01.840 take about five paces, and I think to myself, there's 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:04.080 gotta be there's gotta be another there's another side of 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.240 the birthday. Turn it around. I felt it. So I 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.280 turned around on the back in all caps with the 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:17.600 next miss it says, oh, wait no, I don't of 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:22.760 g pase honest honestly, And I thought to myself, you 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.080 hate those kids so much. Day you had that T 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:28.879 shirt you had that you're wearing it like on a Saturday. 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:33.440 Elsa's is a bougie is a very as a bougie 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:36.919 grocery store. Julia Roberts could never You're like gonna be 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:40.920 seen by somebody. You're like, I I paid to print 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:43.919 this up. Can you imagine you see Julia Roberts and 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:47.840 it shirt says God, I love making pretty woman? Oh 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:57.919 wait no I didn't. Okay, so I still whatever. I 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:00.520 have time. I love going back and teaching and I'm 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.280 such a I've become such a carma just angry crust 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:08.119 of a teacher. And it's not about like talent or 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.639 improv and how dare you? But like there are just 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.440 certain things that drive me crazy, as as as an 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.040 rapidly aging man that I just get like stop it. 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:17.600 And I had this thing about and it's also like 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.480 post zoom where people don't know, like they are on 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.879 stage and they turn and they look at the teacher, 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:26.679 like when I'm giving notes, they look at you, and 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:30.919 it's so unsettling. It's like, so disconcerting when students are 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:32.239 in a scene and they turn and they look at you, 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:34.920 and I this is so in them because I would 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:36.720 always go, don't look at me, don't look at me. 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:41.040 Because I go, okay, go to the fourth wall, grab this. Wait, freeze. 0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:42.919 She just said it was her birthday, give her a 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:45.760 cake or whatever. I'm what, I go, don't look at me, 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:48.280 do it, don't look at it, don't look at me. 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:53.600 And I would say that, I would say that and 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:56.359 I and so I would have explained to this just 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:01.119 wait a minute, never mind, do look it. So I 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:03.439 was like, so finally, I was like, I promise you 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:05.359 it's not from some sort of Faye done away place. Oh, 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:07.400 Because I would give notes after the scene is over. 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.199 It was then that they would be looking down at 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:11.359 the ground or looking at each other, and I go, 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:13.680 you can look at me now. I'm not like they 0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:15.600 done away over here and be like, do not look 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:20.119 at me. And I'm exactly but I was like, no, 0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:22.199 you're in a scene. Stay in the scene, look at 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:24.720 your partner. Don't look at me. It's weird you broke 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:26.320 out of the scene and look me. It creeps me up. 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:28.680 So they the class made fun of me so much 0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:30.160 that they thought it was so funny that I would 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:32.680 do this. And on the last day, my students got 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:34.720 me a shirt that said don't look at me on 0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:36.560 it and on the back of it it was a 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:43.040 giant eyeball with an xax through and I have not 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:45.760 worn it yet, but I will our next to our 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:51.920 next when you come back one hundred percent. Yeah, I'm 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:54.160 so happy to be the first guy away. So it's 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:55.560 our honor. And we have to sort of tell you 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:58.800 what happens on the show because it has nothing to 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:01.000 do with what we just say. But it is sort 0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:03.480 of like insane energy because it has to be. We're 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:05.960 trying to just like make positive outcomes so much. And 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:07.520 before we get going, you might notice this is a 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:10.480 jar next to you. Is this is a foreshadowing? It's 0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:12.640 like it's like in Ibstum and you place you place 0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:14.480 the gun on the wall in the first tack. So 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:17.080 this gun that we've placed on the wall, you might 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:21.399 just think, Oh, what's this half eaten jar? What is this? 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:24.040 What is this half eaten jar of peeb two? Do 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:26.320 you like peanut? Butter Drew, I love peanut? Are you 0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:28.920 worried about gaining away with peanut butme, I'm worried about 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:30.520 getting away with everything. I put it in my mouth, 0:20:30.560 --> 0:20:32.520 but I still do it. Do you like peanut butter 0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:34.360 but have a peanut butter allergy, because that could change 0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:36.159 whether we can make Oh no, I do not have 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:39.879 a okay, so peev fit or to peanut butter powder. 0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:42.480 When we go to Rhode Island and we freeload from 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:45.560 my brother Alaric Shadow, and we have to you know, watch, 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:49.000 we're very strict about how much peanut butter we put 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:51.600 in our bodies because we're vain, because because the press 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:54.080 is always hiding at because we go into Rhode Island, 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:56.119 we go to the town dump on the regular basis. 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:57.840 So this is we don't know how to cook, but 0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:01.159