1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Mmma whole for refusing to have my dad in my 2 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: life after he chose his new family. 3 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 2: Ooh, high road or the new family road. 4 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:08,720 Speaker 3: Practice families, we talk about it. 5 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: So when I was thirteen years old, my dad had 6 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,119 Speaker 1: an affair and left my mom and moved in with 7 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: his fair partner who will call Janet. 8 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,959 Speaker 3: That escalated quickly at first. 9 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,159 Speaker 1: Me and my sister would visit every weekend, and I 10 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: will admit that he was a good dad, although I 11 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: never liked Janet. That if he's a good dad, I 12 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: don't even want to know what Janet's like, if she's 13 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: my god. 14 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, because if that's his like stat bar for being 15 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 2: good dad, not great cheating and leaving you for a 16 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 2: new family. 17 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Parking bread Fruit eight 18 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 1: on the r slash Okay story time, so I reread it. 19 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,279 Speaker 1: So when Janet got pregnant and have their son, our 20 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: visits became less frequent and my dad was more concerned 21 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: with his new family. Of course, that's classic practice family vibes. 22 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: He would miss some of my recitals or my sister's 23 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: competitions because he was busy with his new son. 24 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 2: Conspiracy theory. He always wanted a boy. 25 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a great conspiracy theory. That's a great case. 26 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 2: He doesn't have Tom for recitals. He has Tom's son's 27 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 2: football game. Yeah it's football. 28 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,759 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean. He's a little baby. 29 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 3: She's like, ah, he like, oh you touched up boys? 30 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: You know those little twice they have like a little 31 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,120 Speaker 1: like uh thank you things. It's all like little footballs, 32 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: a little footballs. He's like, oh, he's like my little 33 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: Tom Brady. Anyways, when I was sixteen, Janet, this stepmom 34 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: decided that she wanted to move for a new job opportunity. 35 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: Me and my sister begged him not to leave us, 36 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: but he just said, I need to prioritize my family. 37 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 2: What the heck? 38 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 3: When Bro accidentally says what he really. 39 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 2: Thinks, you should have cut that to yourself. 40 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,199 Speaker 1: Man, you should have kept what the heck? He moved 41 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: ten hours away. This pretty much ended our relationship, and 42 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: I decided to go no contact as it was clear 43 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: he did not consider me family. 44 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 2: Yep. Yeah, and he's gonna be carawling back whenever you 45 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 2: have kids calling it calling it right now, see rewind 46 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 2: this whenever it happened, play this clip, whenever this happens. 47 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 3: Editor, there we go, please do, please do. 48 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: My younger sisters stayed in contact with him. He would 49 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: try to call me an offer for me to come 50 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: and visit my sister, but I refused. When he came 51 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: back to see my sister, I would refuse to speak 52 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: to him, and when he turned up at the house, 53 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,799 Speaker 1: I didn't invite him to my high school or college graduation. 54 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 3: I'm now thirty three years old. 55 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: From sixteen to thirty three, wow, and have remained no 56 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 1: contact with him ever since. He has, over the years 57 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: of peatedly tried contacting me and getting his family to 58 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: contact me on his behalf to reconcile. 59 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 2: Don't you remember what you said, dude? 60 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 3: You said I had to prioritize my family. 61 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 2: Congratulations, and she's letting you do that, so leave her alone. 62 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, come on. 63 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 1: I have avoided family events and Casey attended, including my 64 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: sister's wedding and baby showers. 65 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: Oh yikes, that's so sad. Yeah, that's that's a lot. 66 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 3: That's a lot. 67 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: Actually, let me know what you guys think about that 68 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: in the comments. I think maybe that's maybe a little 69 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: bit too much. 70 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would agree. Missing your sister's wedding because you 71 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 2: don't want to see your. 72 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 3: Dad wedding and baby shower. Yeah, that's kind of tough. 73 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 3: That's kind of tough. 74 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: My dad and his family moved back to our hometown 75 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,639 Speaker 1: three months ago, and he has been relentless trying to reconcile. 76 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 3: Why you fumbled the bag, dude. Sorry. 77 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: I received messages from my half brother and sister wanting 78 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: a relationship, saying he's a great dad. Yeah to you, Yeah, 79 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: half brother, just stay out of the stay this is 80 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 1: your battle, guys, ain't your battle? My dad found out 81 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 1: I'm getting married and keeps trying to contact me and 82 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: has even tried to speak to my fiance whoa Janet. 83 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: The evil stepmom messaged me saying I've broken my dad's 84 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: heart repeatedly and I'm pathetic and should get therapy. I 85 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: replied back that she was nothing but a home wrecking 86 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: or and then blocked her. Uh oh, I think we 87 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: might be venturing into some. 88 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 3: Everyone sucks territory. Yeah, I think we. 89 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: Might be venturing into that because you missed your this 90 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: is her full sister's wedding and baby shower when you 91 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: know your sister's probably like, can you know, at the 92 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: end of the day, people are to do what they're 93 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: going to do, you know, but if I could see 94 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: myself being an o piece of suspicious to be like, 95 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: you know, I know you don't want to see dad, 96 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: but I thought your love and appreciation wanting to be 97 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: there for me would be stronger than your hate and 98 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: resentment of our dad, you know what I mean? 99 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 3: Like, you know what, Hey live your life, I guess, 100 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 3: but yeah, you just hate them, Like I just don't 101 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 3: think there's ever a reason to call a woman that name, 102 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 3: to be honest with you, an or. 103 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 2: An or I just like, I just don't even if 104 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 2: they're spicy working. Come on, everyone seems to be wanting 105 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 2: me to let him back in my life. I'm sick 106 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 2: of all the harassment and accidentally bumping into my dad 107 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 2: and his family in town. 108 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: Oh okay, they just moved back. Yeah I forgot. Oh 109 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: he was also there. 110 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 2: Too, and the and the step brother or half the 111 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 2: half brothers probably like a playing football on the side 112 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 2: of the road and you see him and you see 113 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 2: the dad like slipping on a banana with another woman. 114 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: He's uh getting his his heisman trophy, you know. 115 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 2: Starting a new family, start starting throwing baseball with another kid. 116 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 2: You know, he wanted a boy that wasn't a baseball, 117 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 2: not football. A lot of things kind of happening aroundtown. 118 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,280 Speaker 2: That's what I'm imagining. 119 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 1: Oh my god, from from the girl to the football 120 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 1: players like, no, I need baseball now, ye yep, exactly. 121 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 3: Whenever I see him, I just walk away and refuse 122 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 3: to speak to them. 123 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: Everyone is saying he's a good dad and tried his 124 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: best to remain in contact, but I pushed him away. 125 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 3: That's everyone is pressuring me. 126 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,719 Speaker 1: My mom, my, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, even some of 127 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: my friends. My fiance has even started saying I'm the 128 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: ahole for shutting him out. 129 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 3: It's all starting to get to me. So am I 130 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 3: the a hole? 131 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: We have our first update of this episode coming up, 132 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: But real quick. 133 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 2: You think she is the a hole for that comment? 134 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 2: You can say it. 135 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 3: I think that's an a whole move. 136 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, is she the a hole for that comment? 137 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 3: Yes, she's the a hole for that comment? 138 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 2: And I'm so afraid of call people to a hole 139 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 2: on the show. I hate having people in the fance 140 00:05:58,240 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 2: on my dude, just get on one something. 141 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: You're right, You're we gotta get on one side. Obviously, 142 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,679 Speaker 1: the dadsy a hole. I mean he abandoned his family, 143 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,719 Speaker 1: literally said I had to prioritize my family to his daughters. 144 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: I mean, that is what the f that is, and 145 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,159 Speaker 1: clearly it is something that's stuck with her for the 146 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: rest of her life. 147 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when you won't even see his face. 148 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. And Opie is asking if she's the a 149 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 1: hole because everyone's like, oh, forget the dad. I don't 150 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: agree with all those people. I think that you know, 151 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 1: if if Opie is like, listen, you abandoned me when 152 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: I was a teenager, you know, a very even even 153 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: before that, you know, at a very delicate time in 154 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: my life as a child, as a growing up, you 155 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,840 Speaker 1: abandoned me. And you don't get to get back together 156 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: with me just because you want to. This is minus it. Hey, 157 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 1: you wanted out of your life, You've out of my life. 158 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: You've gotten what you wanted. 159 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, so stop trying to crawl back into my life. 160 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 3: That's fine, but don't fight fire with fire. 161 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. 162 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: Thank you for all the comments, although most seem to 163 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: be not the ahole, some said you were the a hole. 164 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 3: Myself included. 165 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: Some of you gave me helpful suggestions, which I am 166 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: planning to take on board. I've just spoken to my 167 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: fiance and unfortunately it has not gone well. But at 168 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: this point in time, I've had enough and want to 169 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: run away and never come back. Oh no, wait a 170 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: second from her fiance or. 171 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 2: From everyone, from everyone, I think. 172 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: Oh, my fiance knows my history of my dad and Janet. 173 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: I explained to him that him siding with my father 174 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: and pressuring me was hurting me. As my fiance, he 175 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 1: should be supporting me. 176 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, because the dad has been going behind. 177 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: Trying to get everyone to pressure her, right, which sucks. 178 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: If you truly cared about her, you would say, hey, 179 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: I would love to be in your life, and I'm 180 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: so regretful of this terrible mistake I made. But I'm 181 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: gonna let you come to your own conclusion and I'll 182 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: be here if you're ever willing to talk to me. 183 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: I don't deserve it, but I'm here for it. 184 00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 3: Dude. 185 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 2: This guy so I was like my grandpa, my dad's dad. 186 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 2: His name was Spud, and he had like four wives 187 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 2: and whatever. Yeah, So, like I feel it feels like 188 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 2: he Spud was charming because he was a high school 189 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 2: coach and everyone in the community was like liked him 190 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 2: whenever he died. He had spud tells and people like charismatic, 191 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 2: super charismatic. I feel like this is what Opie's dad's like. 192 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 2: Super charismatic, does what he wants and gets away with 193 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 2: it and has a smooth way of talking. So that's 194 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 2: one of the fiancees sort of like, oh, let him 195 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 2: back in your life. Seems like a nice guy. 196 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. 197 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: And also I'm getting because he's not saying, hey, I'll 198 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: be here, but like I'm not going to pressure you, 199 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 1: and he's instead like he's he's getting everyone to pressure 200 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: a pee. I'm getting the sense he wants to do 201 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: it so he looks good. Yeah, that's the that's the 202 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 1: that's what my intuition is saying. My fiance who I'll 203 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,200 Speaker 1: call Larry, told me that he can't support me in 204 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 1: doing something that he knows is wrong. 205 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 3: What oh. 206 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: Larry told me that he spoke to my father and 207 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: had an understanding of both sides of the story and 208 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: believes that if we boa sit down and. 209 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 3: Talk and sort this out and reconcile. 210 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 1: I told Larry that I don't want this and I 211 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: want no contact and asked why he is even speaking 212 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 1: to my father. 213 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. 214 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: Larry admitted his father, who is friends with my dad, 215 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:13,839 Speaker 1: encouraged Larry to. 216 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 3: Speak to him and hear him out. 217 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 2: Nope, nope, nope. Opie's dad definitely manipulated that and was like, yeah, oh, 218 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 2: let me be friends with the fiance's dad so he 219 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,719 Speaker 2: can so she can talk to. 220 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: Me and to Opie's and you know, to be fair 221 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: to Opee, this is kind of more reason why she's like, hey, 222 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to him, because see how 223 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: he's like turning everyone to like pressure me. 224 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 3: Like this is this is terrible. 225 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, Larry told me my dad loved me 226 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: very much and always wanted to be in my life. 227 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 1: And as pictures of me, I'm guessing he got those 228 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 1: from my family as my social media said to private, 229 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: Larry said, my dad is heartbroken at the state of 230 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: our relationship because I was being unreasonable about him moving 231 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: away when I was young. He doesn't get it. 232 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 2: He does, he doesn't get it. You got it. You 233 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 2: have to take responsibility for your own access. 234 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 3: And it is a huge thing. You need to apologize 235 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 3: for the barrass dude, you hurt her so much. 236 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:05,839 Speaker 2: Yes, all, gonna go hang on with my new family now, yeah. 237 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,959 Speaker 3: See you later. What are they just gonna do to 238 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 3: a kid? 239 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 2: Dude? 240 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 3: Come on. 241 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,079 Speaker 1: Larry stated that I got on the wrong foot with 242 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,079 Speaker 1: Janet and that I was not innocent in the breakdown 243 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,959 Speaker 1: of relationship. He told me that everyone can see the 244 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: truth but me, and to look in the mirror because 245 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 1: I'm the problem. 246 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 2: Oh oh my gosh, Larry, you might need to go 247 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,079 Speaker 2: say bye bye, say bye bye. Man. 248 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: We might have to treat Larry like the lobster and 249 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 1: throw him in the boiling pot. 250 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 2: I bet you. Larry met Opie's dad at a bar 251 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 2: and got brainwashed in like less than fifteen minutes. It's 252 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 2: all it takes is fifteen minutes. 253 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 3: Dude, Limp spine, Larry, what toast through? 254 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: Wet spiney, Larry, Dude, wet toast spine is just so great, 255 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 1: It's so good. I'm just so glad we got that. 256 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: I don't know what story that came from, but I'm 257 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: just so glad we read that. Needless to say, I 258 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: broke down crying and asked him why was he doing 259 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 1: this to me and not supporting me. Larry claims to 260 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: love me, but won't stand by me and watch me 261 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: be a heartless bee. Larry, Larry, Larry, Helena Baines says 262 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: bye bye. 263 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 2: Larry, Bye bye, Larry. 264 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 3: Dude. 265 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 1: After he said this, I stood up to I stood 266 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 1: up and told him that he shouldn't. 267 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 3: Marry a heartless bee and walked out. 268 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,679 Speaker 2: Nice. That's that's pretty solid. 269 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:19,440 Speaker 3: Pray come back. 270 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 2: It's so crazy that someone could turn on you this quickly. Yeah, 271 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 2: someone you. 272 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 3: Love, dude. 273 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: She was ready to marry this man, and here he 274 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: is going absolutely crazy. That's so I'm currently sat in 275 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: my car. My phone is blowing up with Larry trying 276 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 1: to contact me, but I don't want to speak to him. 277 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone. I don't 278 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: understand what is happening. 279 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 2: This is a good thing that happened to op in 280 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 2: a marriage you needed have a united front. They can. 281 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 2: He can even be united on her on this decision. 282 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 3: Thank god they didn't get married yet, absolutely thank god, 283 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,440 Speaker 3: thank god. But we have another update. 284 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 1: Hi everyone, thanks for the comments and letting me make 285 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: some noise on you as I desperately needed an outside perspective. 286 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: I know a lot of you were telling me to 287 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: cut all contact with my family and leave town. That 288 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 1: is not an option for me financially, and I would 289 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:04,319 Speaker 1: not be. 290 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 3: Able to set up business elsewhere. 291 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: All my money is invested in it, and I have 292 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: only managed to get established recently with with steady income. 293 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 3: Relocating is not an option for me. 294 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: So it sounds like OPI's like invested everything into her 295 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,559 Speaker 1: business and finances here. 296 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,680 Speaker 3: It's kind of tied to us. 297 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: I love my friends and my family and don't want 298 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 1: to cut everyone off. I love my hometown where I 299 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: grew up. This is my life and I'm not willing 300 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: to walk away from it, which sounds like I wasn't 301 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: Opie like I want to skip town earlier or something 302 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: like that. 303 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, She's like I want to leave. I think 304 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 2: her title was like I want to leave and run away. Yeah, 305 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 2: because the fiance ton on her, her dad's now and 306 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 2: her baby. 307 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 3: It was like, I want to leave, but I'm not gonna. 308 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 2: She came to the realization she can't. 309 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 3: I can't do it. She's like, my whole life is here. 310 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 311 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 1: I didn't expect to write another update this fast, but 312 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: a lot has happened today. So firstly, I agreed to 313 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 1: meet my dad and try to talk to him to 314 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: get him to back off and. 315 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 3: Leave me alone. 316 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 2: WHOA, that's a huge thing. 317 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 3: That is a huge step. How do we think it's 318 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 3: gonna go. 319 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 2: He's gonna try and smooth talker, but she is already 320 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 2: hurt enough and she sees him like as the worst 321 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 2: person ever. Yeah, so she's not gonna she's not gonna 322 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,440 Speaker 2: like oblige to it, Like, she's not gonna go along 323 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 2: with a yeah. No, how do you think it's gonna work? 324 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think she's gonna be like, leave me alone. 325 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 3: He's like no, no, no, no, no no. 326 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,079 Speaker 1: If you're again, if you really cared about me, you 327 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 1: would give me the space week and acknowledge that you 328 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: did this to me back in the past. 329 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 3: Come on now. 330 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: I asked my mom to arrange the meeting just him, 331 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: no one else. I wasn't sure if he would agree 332 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: to that, but within fifteen minutes of her calling, he 333 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: was at the door. 334 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 3: WHOA, bro, it's on top of it. 335 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 1: I asked my mom to stay in mediate so summarize 336 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 1: the conversation. These are a bit messed up because it's 337 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,559 Speaker 1: a lot to remember. But me, I asked him to 338 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,679 Speaker 1: give me space and stop trying to get everyone on 339 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: his side and let me live my life. I told 340 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: him he stopped being my father when he moved ten 341 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 1: hours away. I told him Janet was mean to me 342 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: and told him all the horrible things she had said 343 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 1: to me over the years. I hate how he chose 344 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: Jana and his new family over me, and how he 345 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: told me he had to prioritize them, and how he 346 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 1: basically told me I wasn't family. He was an a 347 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 1: hole for withholding my college fund and trying to blackmail 348 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: me and then spending it. 349 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 3: Oh, this new. 350 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 2: Family didn't know that, bro. He was like, here, here, here, 351 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 2: you have to talk to me. Come get the carrot 352 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:24,760 Speaker 2: and hope. 353 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 1: He's like, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna stick to I'm 354 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 1: gonna stick to this. 355 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,240 Speaker 2: He's like, all right, this is like when people don't 356 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 2: sign an NDA with money real quick. You know Zach 357 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 2: Bryan the country singer. 358 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, vaguely yes. 359 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 2: So his ex Brie is on like a barstools podcast. 360 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 3: Oh really they broke up. 361 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 2: Zach Bryant's team said hey, if you sign this NDA, 362 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 2: we'll give you twelve million dollars. She turned it down 363 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 2: because of all the fed up crap Zack Bryant did 364 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 2: to her. Oh there's stories she talks about on the podcast, 365 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 2: But there are so many stories about it. 366 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 1: Because if you're trying to give someone twelve if you 367 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 1: had a relationship that ended and you did nothing, why. 368 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 3: Would you care? 369 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 1: It's like, go, go ahead, like yeah, talking twelve million dollars. 370 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 2: Not to say nothing about it, bro, And that's what 371 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 2: that feels like. If she would have took the college fund, 372 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 2: she couldn't could not whatsoever. Yeah, Yeah, she had to 373 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 2: shut up about anything and couldn't say that. He's ever 374 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 2: a bad person. 375 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: I hate how I've missed major family events because he 376 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 1: attended the events and would. 377 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 3: Make them awkward. 378 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: I didn't see his son and daughter as my family, 379 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: and I'm sick of them trying to speak to me 380 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 1: and approach me. He keeps making scenes every time he 381 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 1: sees me and making me look like. 382 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 3: The bad guy. 383 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 2: That is so crazy every time in public, Hey, why 384 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 2: are you gonna talk to me? I'm your dad, right. 385 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: And then everyone's like, huh, I'm just trying to buy 386 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: an apple, But what's going on over here? 387 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly what. We'll be at the grocery store. 388 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean Where else would you run into him? 389 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 2: I feel like apple orchard? Where did this apple come from? 390 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 3: That's the real question. 391 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 1: He came concerning himself into my life, going to my 392 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: fiance's family events and going behind my back to talk 393 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: and sway. 394 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 3: Larry to his side. Yeah. I hate how he cheated 395 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 3: on my mom. Bro, we don't forgot about that. 396 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 2: One totally forgot about that. 397 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:08,720 Speaker 3: Dude. 398 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: He literally cheated on her mom when she was like 399 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: a teenager. I hate how he cheated on my mom 400 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: and broke our family up and then listened to Janet 401 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 1: who stopped our dates, missed my recitals, reduced contact, and 402 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 1: was more concerned about his son. So now we're hearing 403 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: his perspective. Okay, So this is him Dad. He loves 404 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: me and always has and is never going to give 405 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: up trying to connect, and he has given me enough 406 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 1: space over the years and is done hearing about my 407 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 1: life from secondhand knowledge and is not willing to miss 408 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: any more of it. I'm sorry, but that's not your choice, brother. 409 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 3: Sorry. 410 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: He loves Janet and can't regret and can't regret his 411 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: past because he wouldn't have her as two kids. 412 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 3: Bro, you are. 413 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 2: Literally in his superstar based football. 414 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, his heisman trophies on. You are not understanding it, 415 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: literally one ounce. So why should she forgive you? Why 416 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 1: should she forgive you because you're not acknowledging the pain 417 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 1: that you gave her, not even acknowledging it, let alone. 418 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 3: Apologizing for it. Dude. 419 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: He wishes he had done it differently and ended his 420 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: marriage with by mom first, but you didn't. His kids 421 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,200 Speaker 1: are innocent, and I shouldn't be taking it out on them. 422 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:18,919 Speaker 1: They just want to know their big sister, but they're harassing. 423 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 2: Her every moment they can. 424 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 1: Dude, I was a difficult child who was rude and 425 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: disrespectful to Janet, breaking her belong and calling her names, 426 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 1: ruining day outs. Maybe because she was hurt and torn 427 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:33,880 Speaker 1: apart because you cheated on her mother, her sweet mother, 428 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,679 Speaker 1: and then you left and basically said you're not family. 429 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,879 Speaker 1: And maybe she was a child who didn't know how 430 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,239 Speaker 1: to deal with these emotions and wasn't getting love from 431 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: her father, let alone like the therapy or other means 432 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,679 Speaker 1: of support to process through this. Maybe that's why she 433 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,439 Speaker 1: was frustrated. Okay, can you not see it? 434 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 2: Dude? 435 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:52,440 Speaker 3: Dude? 436 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 1: When Janet got pregnant, she was high risk, and me 437 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: coming every week and starting arguments was stressing her out. 438 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 1: For her and his son's sake, he stopped the week visitation. Well, 439 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 1: maybe if you set it up better, she wouldn't be 440 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:04,639 Speaker 1: arguing with you. 441 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe if you listen to her. 442 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 3: Dude, he's taking negative one thousand accountability here. Sorry. 443 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,360 Speaker 1: He still spoke to us on the phone and took 444 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 1: us out for dinner and days out, but just didn't 445 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,239 Speaker 1: let us sleep over. When his son was born, he 446 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 1: was premature and had health complications, which meant him staying 447 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 1: in the hospital for weeks and frequent hospital admissions. Janet 448 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 1: was also going through post bottom depression, so it wasn't 449 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: able to see us as much and had to miss 450 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 1: some events. 451 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 3: When he was taking care of Janet and his son. 452 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 1: Janet was unable to get a job locally and the 453 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,400 Speaker 1: opportunity was too good to pass up, so they had 454 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: to move. He pointed out that they came back to 455 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: town for weekends as much as he could to see 456 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: us and would always invite us to fly out and 457 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 1: spend vacations with him. He phoned every day, but I 458 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,679 Speaker 1: refused to speak or see him. They had flown in 459 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,199 Speaker 1: for my graduation, but I refused to invite him, and 460 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: he lost his temper and refused to give me my 461 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: college fund. 462 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 3: He apologized for this and tried to fix this a 463 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,680 Speaker 3: few weeks later and give me the money, but I 464 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 3: refused it. 465 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 2: Okay that Big too. 466 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,439 Speaker 1: Have new information. He has not spent the money and 467 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,680 Speaker 1: he still has it. And I have to only ask 468 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,360 Speaker 1: and I can have it. Don't feel like all op 469 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 1: he has to do is ask. 470 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,119 Speaker 3: I feel like he's like that, there's so many m 471 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,640 Speaker 3: with this, the dangling carrots, He's like poking it out 472 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 3: behind the door. Right yep. 473 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,199 Speaker 2: Oh, you have to ask, and you have to be 474 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 2: my daughter again. 475 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have to say. Here, here's your contract 476 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,399 Speaker 1: of how you have to say. Oh, he's dad, is 477 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: greatest dad ever and is the best minimum one Instagram 478 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: post every Father's Day. 479 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 2: I love Dad. 480 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 3: I love dad. He is best. 481 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: Thank you for money, Thank you Dad, Thank you Dad. 482 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:37,800 Speaker 1: He had visited me at my college to try to 483 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 1: talk to me, but I refuse to see him. 484 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 3: He is going to miss family events. 485 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,919 Speaker 1: Six He makes a scene because he misses me and 486 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: just wants to talk to me and reconcile. But you 487 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 1: don't respect her space, but I always end up running 488 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 1: away or shouting insults at him. In Janet seven, he 489 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: has been trying for sixteen years to reconnect, but I 490 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 1: shut him down at every turn, and he just wants 491 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: to be and my dad. He has old friends with 492 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 1: my fiance his dad, and he hoped my fiance could 493 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 1: talk some sense into me and open a line of communication. Again, 494 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 1: doesn't get it for the thousandth time. He never feels 495 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 1: like gave Janet a chance, no matter how she tried 496 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,400 Speaker 1: in the beginning, and hoped we could be civil. Janet 497 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,439 Speaker 1: hates knowing I talk bad about her and mean to 498 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: her children and won't speak to him again. Just to summarize, 499 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 1: So that's the end of his Now now we're gonna 500 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: get into his once. 501 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 3: Section, okay, but Dad just so. 502 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: Clearly does not see how he hurt or acknowledges the 503 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 1: hurt of his daughter very I feel like, you know, look, 504 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 1: OPI is the a hole in several instances, right, yeah, yeah. However, 505 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: I feel like if the dad acknowledged the pain in 506 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,120 Speaker 1: her and basically said what we said earlier, like hey, 507 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,919 Speaker 1: I know I don't deserve it, you could you know, 508 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: never speak to me again. But I want you to 509 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: know I'm sorry, I'm ready to do the work, and 510 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 1: I'm here if you're ever willing to open the door 511 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 1: to me. I feel like she would have a very 512 00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 1: different outlook at the least, maybe maybe OPI would ray 513 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 1: away from the at least from the A whole behavior 514 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 1: and say like, hey, look, I'm not gonna be your 515 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: best friend, but. 516 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 3: Okay, I'll stop with the A whole behavior. 517 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. I agree, I agree. 518 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: So let's get to his once. My dad is in 519 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: therapy and wants me to join him for family sessions. 520 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: He wants me to spend time with him one on one, 521 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,439 Speaker 1: to stop being rude and mean to his children and 522 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 1: spend time with him. 523 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 2: So sorry, talk quick. I know that he's sweet. Talked 524 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 2: to his therapist and remember that one story where the 525 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 2: husband and the wife went into a therapy room and 526 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 2: the wife turned out that she was gay and the 527 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 2: therapist basically agreed with her, like, oh, you need to 528 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 2: support her and her decision of being gay, and did 529 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,680 Speaker 2: not address that she cheated on him. 530 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 531 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, She's like, oh, well she's bisexual and you need 532 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,120 Speaker 1: to support her, like exploring her bisexuality. 533 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,719 Speaker 3: He was just cheating on me, and I don't want that. 534 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 2: I feel like that's what he's gonna do with therapists. 535 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 2: He's gonna make the therapist is gonna swindle it to 536 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 2: make it look like it's been Opie's fault and ops work, 537 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 2: and that the dad is all good. 538 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,200 Speaker 1: To stop trash talking Janet to everyone and actually give 539 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: her a chance, invite an invite for him and my 540 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: family to my wedding and to walk me down the aisle. 541 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 3: That's bro is bro has got a tall list. 542 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 2: Dude, She's not having a wedding anymore. Man, forget about that, 543 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 2: and you. 544 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: Have Bro's got a tall order and no money to 545 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: pay it. My once, what I want him to stop 546 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 1: talking to my friends and getting others to try to 547 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,920 Speaker 1: talk to me on his behalf, keep Janet away from 548 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 1: me completely, to be civil at events or in town, 549 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 1: providing he does not try and hug me or talk 550 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: to me. My mom told me he was being unrealistic 551 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,399 Speaker 1: with some of the things he wants. There we go 552 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,679 Speaker 1: at least one sane person. I mean, she was cheated 553 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 1: on him after Thank god he hasn't like poisoned her mind. Yeah, 554 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 1: and he wants, especially regarding Janet and his other children. 555 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 3: So we have agreed for now. 556 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,199 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So it seems like they've come to I 557 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 1: don't know exactly what the middle ground between the two 558 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,359 Speaker 1: wants we just got, but it seems like they have 559 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 1: agreed for now to. 560 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,160 Speaker 3: Some sort of middle ground. Actually, we get some more here. 561 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: I will attend three therapy sessions with him when he 562 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,880 Speaker 1: arranges it. My mom thinks I need individual therapy as well. 563 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea. Okay, he will stop 564 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 1: trying to interfere in my life and relationships, and he 565 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: will keep Janet away from me and talk to. 566 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 3: His kids to give me space. 567 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: Okay, it still feels like he's doing these deeds with 568 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: ulterior Oh absolutely. So it's like, yeah, you're doing this 569 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 1: for now, but you're doing this just to get what 570 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,359 Speaker 1: you want down the line, and I don't know that 571 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,879 Speaker 1: your actual beliefs have changed. 572 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 2: I would love to see the patterns he pulled whenever 573 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,440 Speaker 2: he cheated on Opie's mom and see if these patterns aligned, 574 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:52,360 Speaker 2: like the manipulation tactics that he talked to Janet about. Yeah, yeah, 575 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 2: I'm still with her, but we're in an open relationship 576 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 2: or like all these promises he gave to Janet, I mean, 577 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 2: he probably pulled through with them. 578 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 3: But I, yeah, I don't. I don't trust him at all. 579 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:02,919 Speaker 3: I don't trust him at all. 580 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,360 Speaker 1: And I also just to say real quick too, not 581 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: to excuse OPI being an a hole, but I see 582 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 1: why she was so steadfast. 583 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 3: On her boundaries. 584 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 1: It's like, I don't want to talk to you because 585 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: he keeps trying to pull the scrap and it's like, listen, 586 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: I just don't want to be involved and you continue 587 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: to feel I feel like Opie should say, if you 588 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,359 Speaker 1: acknowledge the pain and like, actually, if you like do 589 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 1: it in a way where I actually feel that you 590 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 1: truly understand and you show through like time and your 591 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,399 Speaker 1: actions that you truly understand that, then we can rebuild 592 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: a relationship. Until then, which literally right now you don't 593 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,119 Speaker 1: do I'm not going to do it because right now 594 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 1: we're just reaching this kind of weird transactional compromise. It 595 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 1: kind of feels like, and you know, I guess kudos 596 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 1: to op for trying, and the dad is making some concessions, 597 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,879 Speaker 1: but I don't know. We'll see, well, let's see how 598 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 1: it ends, so I will be civil to him in 599 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 1: public as long as he respects my personal space and 600 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,399 Speaker 1: doesn't approach or pressure me. As for my fiance, I 601 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: still haven't spoken to him. He turned up at my 602 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,040 Speaker 1: mom's house, but she ref. 603 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 3: Used to let him ink. Let's go at least we 604 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 3: have a w mom. 605 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 2: Here, Yeah, let's go mom, Let's go mom. 606 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 3: He keeps blowing out my phone, so does his family 607 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 3: and friends. Telling me to hear. 608 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 1: Him out doesn't sound like part of the deal. During 609 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 1: my conversation with my dad, I found out that my 610 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 1: dad has paid for most of the vendors and services 611 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 1: for my upcoming wedding. 612 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:22,159 Speaker 2: Again, honestly, that's good for OP because that's his money. 613 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 2: Good for OP, but feels because if they, like you said, 614 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 2: alternative motives, if she got married didn't know this, he 615 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,159 Speaker 2: would have been like, well, I paid for this, this, this, 616 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 2: and this exactly. So in a way, she's kind of 617 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 2: stepping out like it was a good thing that her 618 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 2: and her fiance broke up. 619 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 3: Oh, because oh people just get the money. 620 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 2: Or no, no, no, because the dad would have used this 621 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,680 Speaker 2: against OP if she got married, and he would have 622 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 2: been like, hey, I paid for this, this this and this. 623 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,480 Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah, and but now the wedding's falling through. 624 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,159 Speaker 3: It's like, okay, now you can't use it against me. 625 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 2: And and that's why of the fiance was like, you 626 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 2: need to give him a chance. You need to do this, 627 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,439 Speaker 2: because how was he paying for all of this stuff. 628 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 1: He's like, I'll do the dream wedding, but I'm gonna 629 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,360 Speaker 1: have dad secretly pay for it. 630 00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,159 Speaker 2: Whoa you get her to talk to me, I'll pay 631 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 2: for their dream wedding. 632 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 3: He've gone on fire lately with the predictions and insights. 633 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 2: Dude, like being in the other place that's coming out soon. 634 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 2: I've just been on it, dude. I'm just like I 635 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,880 Speaker 2: read these patterns, I see them. What do you call 636 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 2: what do you call that? I need? I don't know. 637 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:27,199 Speaker 2: I need like a like a certification in this. I 638 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,880 Speaker 2: really would like to be a therapist. But I looked 639 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 2: into being a therapist and it's like eight years of 640 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 2: part time job. 641 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like it's like too much time commitment.