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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is to keep track of your friends and

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Speaker 1: family members favorite things. It turns out that being thoughtful

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Speaker 1: is a skill that can be learned. It just takes

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Speaker 1: a little bit of work. I bet we can all

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Speaker 1: remember moments when we have felt seen and loved. The

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Speaker 1: birthday dinner with all of our favorite foods, the introduction

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Speaker 1: that listed all the things we're actually most proud of.

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Speaker 1: And then there are the awkward moments, like if you've

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Speaker 1: ever been given ear rings but don't have pure steers.

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Speaker 1: Being thoughtful is hard to do on command, but a

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Speaker 1: big part of it is just paying attention. Notice your

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Speaker 1: friends and family members favorite things and keep track of them.

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Speaker 1: That way, you'll be able to incorporate these details into

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Speaker 1: your life together and increase the chances that people feel

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Speaker 1: seen when someone mentions a favorite food, color, musician, sports team,

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Speaker 1: make a note. Indeed, the notes field in your Contacts

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Speaker 1: app can be a great place for recording this information.

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Speaker 1: Handwritten notes in your address book or even a spreadsheet

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Speaker 1: can work. Now there's no need to go overboard on

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Speaker 1: this and you don't want to feel creepy or inauthentic.

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Speaker 1: So John, how about those Eagles, who I remember are

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Speaker 1: your favorite sports team? Did you have a Yangling while

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Speaker 1: watching the game? Since I remember that that is your

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Speaker 1: favorite beer. But when you learn about something that's important

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Speaker 1: to another person, especially if it's of interest to you too,

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Speaker 1: just pay attention. Subtly. Including these insights can lead to

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Speaker 1: a lot of delight. For instance, if a friend loves

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Speaker 1: dark chocolate and cherry candy bars, bring a handful of

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Speaker 1: those rather than a plant when you visit. If your

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Speaker 1: niece's favorite color is purple, put her birthday gift in

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Speaker 1: a purple gift bag. When you're taking a colleague out

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Speaker 1: to lunch to celebrate his promotion, make a reservation at

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Speaker 1: what you know is his favorite restaurant. When you go

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Speaker 1: to an exhibit of work by a friend's favorite artist,

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Speaker 1: send her a postcard from the museum store featuring a

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Speaker 1: painting by the artist and say, seeing this exhibit made

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Speaker 1: me think of you. Even with people in your own household,

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Speaker 1: it helps to truly pay attention, rather than assume we

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Speaker 1: know everything about each other that there is to know.

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Speaker 1: People live in their own little worlds. I was somewhat

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Speaker 1: surprised recently that my immediate family members didn't know my

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Speaker 1: favorite ice cream flavor despite their seeing me order it,

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Speaker 1: oh maybe a hundred times. Then again, I've cooked hamburgers

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Speaker 1: and hot dogs for my family a great many times,

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Speaker 1: and yet I consistently forget to cut up onions or

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Speaker 1: put out pickles. Even though my husband always eats those,

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Speaker 1: I don't eat them, so it doesn't occur to me.

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Speaker 1: Paying attention isn't automatic. The people we think of as

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Speaker 1: most thought full and gracious don't have some special power

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Speaker 1: that the rest of us don't. It's just that they're

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Speaker 1: much better at keeping track of these things, and the

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Speaker 1: rest of us, well, we can learn. You can even

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Speaker 1: make a game of noticing who loves what. Play twenty

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Speaker 1: Questions with your kids, except instead of identifying characteristics of

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Speaker 1: an object, name favorite things of a person you all know.

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Speaker 1: Or give everyone in the family a survey about favorite things,

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Speaker 1: and then see if your kids can guess their parents

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Speaker 1: and siblings favorite ice cream flavors, animals, books, and so forth.

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Speaker 1: Once you know, you can put this knowledge to work

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Speaker 1: paying attention to people's favorite things. Let's us show that

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Speaker 1: we care about them and feeling known and loved is

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Speaker 1: a pretty universal favorite thing in the meantime. This is Laura.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

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Speaker 1: Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four, then Breakfast

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Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email

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Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com

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Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.

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Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For

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Speaker 1: more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart

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Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

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Speaker 1: favorite shows.