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Speaker 1: When we first met, we were like very attractive to

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Speaker 1: each other. It was it was our chemistry was great.

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Speaker 1: But that level of attraction is more like infatuations at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of a relationship, and love, when it is

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Speaker 1: able to stand the test of time, it has to

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Speaker 1: be deeper and more like a more real than that. Hey, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and

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Speaker 1: wellness podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every

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Speaker 1: single one of you that join every week to listen, learn,

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Speaker 1: and grow. And I am so excited to be talking

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Speaker 1: to you today. I can't believe it. My new book

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Speaker 1: Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait

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Speaker 1: to share it with you. I am so so excited

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Speaker 1: for you to read this book, for you to listen

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Speaker 1: to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't

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Speaker 1: got it already, make sure you go to eight Rules

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Speaker 1: of Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying

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Speaker 1: to find, keep, or let go of love. So if

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Speaker 1: you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling

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Speaker 1: with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd

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Speaker 1: love to invite you to come and see me for

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Speaker 1: my global tour. Love Rules Go to Jay shettytour dot

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Speaker 1: com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you this year. Now. I

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Speaker 1: know you're here because you're fascinated as I am about creators, stories,

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Speaker 1: people's backgrounds, walks of life, choices, they made decisions that

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Speaker 1: change the trajectory of their journey, because you're trying to

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Speaker 1: make the same in your life. And today's guest is

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Speaker 1: someone that I had down as one of the names

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Speaker 1: when I first started the show four years ago, nearly

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Speaker 1: four years ago, and it was one of those people

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Speaker 1: that I want to speak to you because I was

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Speaker 1: a fan of his music for a long time, his journey,

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Speaker 1: and I'm grateful that today we actually get to do

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Speaker 1: this in person in my studio at home in LA

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Speaker 1: And so I'm speaking about none other the one and

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Speaker 1: only John Legend, who's garnered twelve Grammy Awards, an Academy Award,

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Speaker 1: a Golden Globe Award, a Tony Award, and an Emmy Award,

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Speaker 1: making him the first black man to earn an egot.

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Speaker 1: During the course of John's career, he has released seven

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Speaker 1: celebrated albums. His eighth studio album, Legend, which was released

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Speaker 1: on September ninth, is out right now. I've been listening

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Speaker 1: to it. It's beautiful. I can't wait for you to

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Speaker 1: listen to if you haven't already. John recently began the

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Speaker 1: second leg of his critically acclaimed Las Vegas residency, entitled

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Speaker 1: Love in Las Vegas, which runs through October. So make

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Speaker 1: sure you check that out. And I'm really excited because

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Speaker 1: his master Class on Songwriting has just released, And if

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Speaker 1: you don't already have a master Class subscription, make sure

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Speaker 1: you grab one. I first got one when Bob Iger

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Speaker 1: had his master class. That's what took me to the platform,

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Speaker 1: and now John Legend has his own on songwriting. Sir John,

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Speaker 1: welcome to the show. Great to see you, Great to

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Speaker 1: meet you. Yeah, I'm excited for our conversation. Yeah, me too.

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Speaker 1: I usually know people that are on the show, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is we've never met. Yeah, we've

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Speaker 1: never crossed paths, you know, and so it's always nice

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Speaker 1: to I feel like this is the best way to

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Speaker 1: get to know someone deeply and intimately do a podcast

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Speaker 1: with them. When else would you have a situation when

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Speaker 1: you meet someone and you have over an hour to

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Speaker 1: talk to them and learn about them. Yeah, when was

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Speaker 1: the last time you did that? Is that? When was

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Speaker 1: the last time you sat down with I don't I

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Speaker 1: don't know that I ever happened. Yeah, it's it's a

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Speaker 1: blessing and it's it truly is. But I mean, I

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Speaker 1: remember being a kid in London. I remember when we

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Speaker 1: first heard your music and we're like, who is this person?

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Speaker 1: At the time, I was listening to R and B

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Speaker 1: and hip hop and rap, and then it was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is very different, Like this isn't you know? It's

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Speaker 1: hard to kind of pin it down into one of

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Speaker 1: those genres. But I want to dive into your journey

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Speaker 1: today as well a little bit, and I want to

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Speaker 1: start with you being homeschooled. Yeah. When I when I

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Speaker 1: was researching and reading, I was like, wow, I had

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Speaker 1: no idea. Yeah. I was homeschooled by my parents, particularly

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Speaker 1: my mother. We grew up in a very Christian home.

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Speaker 1: My parents sent us to a Christian school for a

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Speaker 1: couple of years. But it was a little expensive for

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Speaker 1: them to send us to private school, but they still

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Speaker 1: wanted us to have a very kind of Christian education.

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Speaker 1: They decided that instead of sending us to this Christian school,

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Speaker 1: They would basically take the curriculum from the school, use

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Speaker 1: the books from the school, and the school had this

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Speaker 1: homeschool liaison as well because a lot of Evangelical Christian

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Speaker 1: parents like to use this method. We would work with

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Speaker 1: the school, but my mom was our main teacher, and

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Speaker 1: we were home a lot with her. We had, you know,

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Speaker 1: friends in the neighborhood, relatives in the neighborhood, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: we were with our parents and at the house quite

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Speaker 1: a bit when most of our friends were going to

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Speaker 1: public school and being around a bunch of other kids.

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Speaker 1: Once your strongest memory from that time or something that

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Speaker 1: you took away that has kind of stayed with you,

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Speaker 1: because I find that homeschooling still a fairly small population,

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Speaker 1: when yeah, it's very big in the Evangelical Christian community.

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Speaker 1: What I remember from it, You know, I was very precocious,

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Speaker 1: so I love to read. I loved to independently do whatever.

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Speaker 1: You know, I would just want to advance past whatever

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Speaker 1: I was supposed to be doing at the time. I

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Speaker 1: was obsessed with like encyclopedias and dictionaries. I ended up

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Speaker 1: winning the City spelling be during that time. So I

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Speaker 1: was very precocious, wanted to learn everything. My mom had

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Speaker 1: a typing textbook and I just decided I was going

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Speaker 1: to learn how to type. I was taking piano lessons

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Speaker 1: during this time, too, so I just wanted to learn

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Speaker 1: everything and know how to do everything. What's something that

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Speaker 1: you've been trying to learn more recently or where that

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Speaker 1: mindset's kind of like carried through Well, I don't what

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Speaker 1: would you like to if if you had the time.

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Speaker 1: I should do more masterclasses. I should be a consumer

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Speaker 1: more masterclasses, But yeah, I haven't done that recently. I

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Speaker 1: do like to read a lot, and I'd like to

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Speaker 1: just read about how the world works. I'd like to

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Speaker 1: read about policy, and I'm very interested in, you know,

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Speaker 1: how to craft a better society that's more loving and

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Speaker 1: more generous and more just and more equitable for more people.

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Speaker 1: And so I like to read books that kind of

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Speaker 1: discuss some of these policy ideas and ways of thinking

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Speaker 1: about the world. Yeah. No, that's beautiful, and it's true,

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Speaker 1: like I feel like we all get so busy that

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Speaker 1: it's hard to find time to keep learning. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean I haven't recently taken up anything where I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I want to learn how to do this that I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to do. I try to do it

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Speaker 1: with guitar for a while, and then I just got

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Speaker 1: so busy that I never like stuck with it. And

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Speaker 1: I haven't had something like that recently that I've done.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I should learn another language. Yeah, my friend did

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Speaker 1: some DUELINGO no I worte for her. No, I'm with

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Speaker 1: you too. I feel like, but it's fun looking back

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Speaker 1: at like what was that in childhood that we loved

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Speaker 1: and kind of reconnect it being good? You know, now

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Speaker 1: that you brought it up, I'm like, why haven't I,

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Speaker 1: you know, picked something I want to learn about. I

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Speaker 1: always thought about should I go back to college and

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Speaker 1: like take classes and just just randomly take classes where

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Speaker 1: there's no pressure to get good grades, but just you

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Speaker 1: want to learn something. Yeah, that'd be fun. Well that's

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Speaker 1: a beautiful point that as an adult you actually get

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Speaker 1: to go and learn something without the pressure of it

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Speaker 1: to grades. Like my mom she's going to college right now.

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Speaker 1: She never graduated and she decided she would just go.

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Speaker 1: And you know, she's like almost seventy years old. That's amazing.

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Speaker 1: What is what's her experience been? Like? She loves it,

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Speaker 1: she really enjoys it. I think it's very like stimulating

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Speaker 1: for her, and you know, she doesn't work, so it's

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Speaker 1: like something to occupy her mind and to stimulate her mind,

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Speaker 1: and she really is learning new things. That's amazing. So

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Speaker 1: you went from being homeschooled to then being like and

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Speaker 1: obviously there's many years in between, but being homecoming king, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's like yeah, prom king pro gig. Sorry, we

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Speaker 1: don't have problems in London. So you know where I

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Speaker 1: grew up, So yes, I always missed that. I would

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Speaker 1: watch Hollywood movies and I'd be like, why don't we

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Speaker 1: get to have prom? Yeah, And so we never did that.

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Speaker 1: But what was that experience like if then moving from

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Speaker 1: like this very specific homeschooled culture, religious culture, institutional culture,

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Speaker 1: and then transitioning like, talk to me a bit about

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Speaker 1: that transition as a young adult or as a child.

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Speaker 1: It was interesting because at the time, the impetus for

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Speaker 1: us transitioning into public school was our parents getting divorced,

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Speaker 1: and that the empatus for that really was it began

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Speaker 1: with my grandmother dying. So my grandmother was very important

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Speaker 1: in our lives. She was very important in my mother's life,

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Speaker 1: and they made music together. They ran the church choir

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Speaker 1: together and were very close, and when she died, it

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Speaker 1: really sent my mom into a spiral mental health wise,

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Speaker 1: and she ended up abusing drugs and just really becoming

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Speaker 1: distant from our family for a while. During that period

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Speaker 1: my parents got divorced, our world was being shaken in

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Speaker 1: a lot of ways. And one of the ways it

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Speaker 1: was being shaken it was We're like, oh, now we're

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Speaker 1: going to public school after you know, an entire you know,

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Speaker 1: ten years in my life where I didn't spend any

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Speaker 1: time in public school, and you know, it was quite

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Speaker 1: an adjustment coming from homeschool. And I also, because I

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Speaker 1: was so precocious, I ended up being skipped two grades

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Speaker 1: ahead because I tested out of the grades I was

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Speaker 1: supposed to be in, And so I ended up starting

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Speaker 1: eighth grade at the age of a sixth grader, and

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Speaker 1: starting high school at the age of twelve, and graduating

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Speaker 1: at the age of sixteen. So all of it was

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Speaker 1: a bit you know, difficult, you know, socially adjusting, adjusting

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Speaker 1: to my parents being divorced, adjusting to being in a

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Speaker 1: public school setting when I had never been in one before.

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Speaker 1: There were a lot of adjustments to make. That's why

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Speaker 1: I'm always, you know, wary of the idea of homeschooling

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Speaker 1: kids because the social development just isn't really there. But

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Speaker 1: I figured it out. So I think music was always

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Speaker 1: my way of helping me find ways to connect to people,

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Speaker 1: because even though I was too shy to really strike

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Speaker 1: up a conversation in person, I wasn't too shy to

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Speaker 1: get up on stage. And once I got up on stage,

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Speaker 1: it was my way of introducing myself to people. It

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Speaker 1: was like, Oh, this is me, this is who I am,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't have to break the ice with people

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Speaker 1: because my music was my way of breaking the ice.

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Speaker 1: It was like my social crutch, I would say at

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Speaker 1: the time. It enabled me to make friends, enabled me

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Speaker 1: to feel like some control over what I was doing.

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Speaker 1: And I think when you feel like you have something

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Speaker 1: you're really good at, it makes you feel a bit

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Speaker 1: more empowered to do other things and to connect with

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Speaker 1: other people, and to feel like you can take up

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Speaker 1: space because you feel like, oh, I have something that

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Speaker 1: I've shown everyone that I'm really good at. I think

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Speaker 1: that is such a great point and I completely agree

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Speaker 1: with you. I was a really shy kid growing up

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Speaker 1: and massively interested and still am to this day in

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Speaker 1: many circles. But my parents forced me to go to

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Speaker 1: public speaking drama school, and so I would go for

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Speaker 1: three hours a day, three days a week, so nine

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Speaker 1: hours a week all year around. It's a lot of time.

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Speaker 1: And as I improved in both those areas of my life,

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Speaker 1: that's where I would feel at home. And now I

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Speaker 1: started to have more confidence in different circles, and you

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Speaker 1: could move that around. And I was speaking to my

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Speaker 1: friend recently, one of my closest friends. His son's like

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Speaker 1: ten years old, and he was saying that he's struggling

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Speaker 1: with confidence, and I said, exactly what you just said.

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, have you helped him get good

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Speaker 1: at something? I was like, you know, what is he

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Speaker 1: interested in? What's he naturally gravitating towards that he could

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Speaker 1: be encouraged in further because that would empower him, as

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Speaker 1: you said, And I think that's such a beautiful thing,

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Speaker 1: because we don't know what to validate ourselves through whom

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Speaker 1: we're kids. But hearing you reflect back couldn't make sense.

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Speaker 1: But I'm guessing at that time there was a lot

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Speaker 1: of stress. I mean, being a young kid whose parents

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Speaker 1: are divorcing, like like you said, like your mother's also

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Speaker 1: experiencing mental health and drug abuse. Like, how were you

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Speaker 1: making sense of that? Like? What helped you? It was

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Speaker 1: hard to make sense of it, and I parted my

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Speaker 1: way of dealing with what was going on with my

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Speaker 1: mother was to try to ignore it, honestly, and so

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Speaker 1: I would pour myself into school, pour myself into music,

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Speaker 1: pour myself into these things that kept me busy, so

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Speaker 1: I didn't think about everything was happening in my family.

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Speaker 1: And my dad did a great job of, you know,

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Speaker 1: helping us, guiding us through it. We had a lot

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Speaker 1: of extended family in our community, cousins, aunt's, uncles who

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Speaker 1: helped fill in the gaps as well. And then we

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Speaker 1: had people at school. I had a guidance counselor who

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Speaker 1: he was one of the only black men that worked

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Speaker 1: at my school, and he really like decided to take

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Speaker 1: me and my older brother under his wing and just

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Speaker 1: was really helpful and just figuring out school, figuring out

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Speaker 1: how to get into college, all these other things that

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Speaker 1: my parents didn't really know how to help us with.

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Speaker 1: We just were fortunate to have other people fill in

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Speaker 1: the gap. You know, they say it takes a village

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Speaker 1: to raise a child. And I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: times when your parents aren't able to give you everything

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Speaker 1: that you need, it's good to have other people in

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Speaker 1: your life that can do it. Yeah, especially especially now,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like there's so I'm not

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Speaker 1: a parent yet, and of course you are, but it's

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Speaker 1: like there's so much pressure on two people to be everything, yeah,

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Speaker 1: to these new human beings, and what you realize is

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Speaker 1: that you know, you don't have to be everything. It's

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Speaker 1: great to have other people around you a village or community.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the things that was so difficult about

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Speaker 1: the pandemic was that feeling that you didn't have that,

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Speaker 1: you know, community support that most people normally have, that

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Speaker 1: feeling of being disconnected and set rating from a lot

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Speaker 1: of people, despite all the technological ways that you can

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Speaker 1: get in touch with them. It's nice to be in

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Speaker 1: presence with people, and I think when people didn't have that.

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Speaker 1: We're seeing the results of it with a lot of

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Speaker 1: kids learning loss and falling behind in school. And there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of things that you just can't do remotely

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Speaker 1: that you need that community support to do. Yeah. No, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: I want I want to give a shout out to

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Speaker 1: our community for staying with us through the pandemic because

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Speaker 1: for me, sitting with someone like this face to face,

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Speaker 1: even for an interview, it's like the connection that you

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Speaker 1: have with someone as opposed to through a screen. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just incomparable. It's different, and we made the most

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Speaker 1: of what we had to do during that time, but

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Speaker 1: clearly it's preferable to be in person. And I think

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Speaker 1: particularly for kids as they're trying to learn, they need them. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: did you have to? You said? Then? I think you're

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Speaker 1: so right. Like as kids, we ignore stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: We try and avoid it. We try, and you know,

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Speaker 1: we have to. And I loved where you said you

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Speaker 1: poured yourself into you music and hold yourself into school.

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Speaker 1: And that's why outlets, artistic outlets are so fantastic to

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Speaker 1: have as young people. Did you ever have to revisit it?

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Speaker 1: Did you feel like it naturally just improved, there were changes,

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Speaker 1: or did you ever have to revisit that as an

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Speaker 1: adult to be like I, did you ever feel the

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Speaker 1: need for any healing or did you feel that just

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Speaker 1: naturally kind of came to a question. So we needed

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Speaker 1: to heal. We needed to forgive our mother because we

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Speaker 1: felt abandoned by her. Well, she eventually got sober, came

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Speaker 1: back to her family, she healed in a lot of

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Speaker 1: ways as well, and you know, recovered in a lot

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Speaker 1: of ways. And we still had to deal with forgiving

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Speaker 1: her though, because I think when you feel let down

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Speaker 1: by your parents, part of what you need to do

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Speaker 1: for your own growth is figure out how to forgive

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Speaker 1: them and how to love them and not be held

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Speaker 1: back by whatever resentment or anger disappointment you might feel,

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Speaker 1: because if you continue to hold on to it, it

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Speaker 1: actually hinders you as much or more than it hinders

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Speaker 1: anyone else. The person that may be the object of

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Speaker 1: your forgiveness, that's great to forgive them, but it's just

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Speaker 1: as important for you because that's the best way for

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Speaker 1: you to go on and live the best life that

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Speaker 1: you can live, is to get that weight off of

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Speaker 1: your shoulder that you're holding on too. Did you know

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Speaker 1: It takes a team of people to help bring these

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Speaker 1: podcasts together on purpose as a whole group of talented

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Speaker 1: people who work on producing, editing, and managing the show,

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Speaker 1: and the show wouldn't be possible without the team of

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Speaker 1: people working together behind the scenes. Needless to say, hiring

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Speaker 1: Zipp recruiter the smartest way to hire. And it's almost

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Speaker 1: hardest doing that with our parents because when we're young,

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Speaker 1: you kind of see them as the person who is

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Speaker 1: meant to be the caregiver and the sit think the

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Speaker 1: letdown is bigger romatic. Yeah, it's dramatic because you expect

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Speaker 1: them to, you know, they're supposed to have all the answers,

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Speaker 1: they're supposed to do the right things, they're supposed to

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Speaker 1: show you the way to do it. And then when

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Speaker 1: they when we realize they're not infallible, and then they

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Speaker 1: fall from grace in our eyes, I think the disappointment

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Speaker 1: is even greater. Yeah, but I love that point you're

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Speaker 1: making that there's there's two sides, and you got to

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Speaker 1: experience the beauty of your mother's growth and transformation and change.

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Speaker 1: But it's like that person's like I'm back, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh okay, you don't know, like you've gotten

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Speaker 1: used to dealing with not being with them and not

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Speaker 1: having them in your life. And my parents got remarried

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Speaker 1: during this time and that was weird. Um, So it

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Speaker 1: was like a lot of dealing with all those feelings,

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Speaker 1: dealing with forgiveness, wondering how to adjust to having that

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Speaker 1: person back in your life, all of that. It was

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Speaker 1: It was very interesting. Yeah, mine was kind of the

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Speaker 1: the opposite, where like I was encouraging my parents as

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Speaker 1: a ten year old to get a divorce. So I

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Speaker 1: was seeing and experiencing, and they would both tell me

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Speaker 1: about what was going on. I'd be like, I think

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Speaker 1: you guys should separate because I want you both to

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Speaker 1: be happy. Yeah, and we'll be happy. And then they

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Speaker 1: stayed together until like three years ago. Okay, they never

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Speaker 1: separated until now, and I feel like there's so much

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Speaker 1: happier and fulfilled because of it. But they were thinking

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Speaker 1: they were staying together for the kids. Yeah, and as

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Speaker 1: a kid, I was like, no, no, no no, no, no, Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's so interesting. Well, yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: when my parents got divorced both times it was the

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Speaker 1: right thing. They got divorced twice, so they're not together now. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my dad's remarried and my mom hasn't. But both times

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Speaker 1: I think it was the right thing to do. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't actively encouraging it when I was younger. It was

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Speaker 1: traumatic for me when I was younger, but it was

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Speaker 1: the right thing to do. Yeah, how are you finding

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Speaker 1: that now being a parent yourself? Like, are the what

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Speaker 1: are the parts of this journey that kind of influence

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Speaker 1: your approach now? Because you are aware that we are

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Speaker 1: not perfect, any one of us. Yeah, I'm aware we're

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Speaker 1: not perfect, but I do feel I think and I

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Speaker 1: both really believe in the idea of creating like stability

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Speaker 1: in our home for our kids, showering them with love

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Speaker 1: and encouragement, teaching them about what it means to be kind,

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Speaker 1: what it means to be loving, what it means to

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Speaker 1: be generous, what it means to be passionate about something

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Speaker 1: and pursue it. All those things we want for them,

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Speaker 1: and we want them to see in us a loving

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Speaker 1: relationship that teaches them what love is supposed to feel

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Speaker 1: like and what it's supposed to be like. I want

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Speaker 1: us to be a great example of what love means

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Speaker 1: for them and how they should expect a partner to

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Speaker 1: treat them, how they should treat their partner. I want

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Speaker 1: to be a good example for them, and I think

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Speaker 1: Chrissy does too. And yeah, I don't want to get divorced.

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Speaker 1: I know that, Yeah, I really truly you know, And

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Speaker 1: you've come from a situation where you're like, well, they

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00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 1: should have gotten divorces, the right thing for them to do.

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Speaker 1: But also I'm like, oh, I really want a stable

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Speaker 1: home for our kids, and I want them to be

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Speaker 1: surrounded by love and to see in us an example

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Speaker 1: of what love means, and hopefully we can maintain that

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Speaker 1: for decades and decades to come. Like I want to

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Speaker 1: ask to be grandparents, having them over for Sunday dinner,

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Speaker 1: and like I want that for us. Yeah, I wish

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00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 1: that for you too. Definitely, that's beautiful and I don't

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Speaker 1: disagree with you. I think the point you made this

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Speaker 1: is so clear that you want what stability means. And

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Speaker 1: I think what sometimes I don't don't recognize as staying

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Speaker 1: together is unstable. Sometimes it is sometimes yeah, but there's

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Speaker 1: always gonna be some unstability instability, of course. But I

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Speaker 1: think that's the challenge. Like we usually see togetherness as

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Speaker 1: stability and breaking up as instability, but often if two

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Speaker 1: people are together but it's causing more stress for everyone else,

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00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 1: that's true. And there's definitely circumstances like that. Yeah, God

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Speaker 1: forbid that happens to us. No, no, no, yeah, definitely know.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, it's so interesting what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: because I literally just spoke. I just interviewed doctor Gaba Matte,

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Speaker 1: and he's like a healing and trauma expert and researcher.

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Speaker 1: He's like in his seventies, I think, right, And so

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Speaker 1: he's been doing this his whole life, like looking at trauma,

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00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,880
Speaker 1: looking addiction, looking at children, and he literally just said

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Speaker 1: what you just said where it's like you can't love

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Speaker 1: your kids too much, like you know, giving them a safe,

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Speaker 1: loving environment. And I think for a long time I

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Speaker 1: confused love and safety and I realized like safety was

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Speaker 1: really what you needed as a child. Yes, you really do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I really truly believe that. And we want to have

429
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: them feel safe and surrounded by love and care. It

430
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you don't want to allow them to make mistakes,

431
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 1: but you do want them to feel like they can

432
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: make mistakes in safety. And I think when people feel unsafe,

433
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: it contributes to fear, contributes to trauma, and a lot

434
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 1: of things that make their responses unhealthy as they get older,

435
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: because if they're dealing with so much fear and danger

436
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 1: in their lives, it affects the way they respond to stimuli.

437
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: It affects the way they deal with fight or flight

438
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,719
Speaker 1: and all these things that kind of these mechanisms at

439
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 1: your body has to deal with trauma and fear, Like

440
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: if they get activated too much, then it's hard for

441
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: them to cope with life. Yeah, absolutely, When when someone's

442
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 1: as exceptional as you are, what you do I want

443
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,919
Speaker 1: to hear about, like what was the hardest part about

444
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: getting that good? Like what was the When was it

445
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: challenging to pick up an instrument or learn an element

446
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: of music? Like what was the was there ever or

447
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 1: what did it? Just? Was it just so natural and

448
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 1: effortless that it's always been that way? There's always effort,

449
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 1: And I think part of it is like figuring out

450
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: what you want to specialize in, what you want to

451
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 1: do really well. Like I played the piano pretty well,

452
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: but I'm not like an expert concert pianist, Like I've

453
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 1: seen what they can do and I can't do it.

454
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 1: And I got good enough at the piano to accompany myself,

455
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: to accompany others to write and to perform live. But

456
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 1: people that focus on playing the piano are much better

457
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 1: at playing the piano than I am. What I've chosen

458
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: to focus on is being the best singer songwriter that

459
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: can be. So I spend a lot of time focusing

460
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 1: on my voice, focusing on songwriting. So those are the

461
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: two most important things for me, and those are the

462
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: things that I spend the most time and energy on

463
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 1: and it's not easy to write songs and it doesn't

464
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: come automatically. But I've developed ways of getting getting to

465
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 1: that point where I'm pretty good at writing a song

466
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 1: and even my worst songs are pretty good. That didn't

467
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,120
Speaker 1: come automatically, though. It came through like just writing a lot,

468
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: listening to a lot of music, but also writing a

469
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 1: lot of music and trying different ideas, seeing them work,

470
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 1: and collaborating with other people who push me and bring

471
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 1: out the best to me and give me new ideas.

472
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: All of that made me a better writer. But it

473
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: wasn't easy and it wasn't automatic. Yeah, there's often a

474
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 1: perception that people have that the way you write songs

475
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: or whatever is that when someone's going through emotional turmoil,

476
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: their artistic expression is heightened, and then when their external

477
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 1: circumstances are less stressful, it can be harder to find creativity.

478
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 1: Is that true? Is that accurate? Or have you found

479
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,919
Speaker 1: that you can always or you have a method to

480
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 1: always tap it? Because your songs are like your lyrics

481
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: are highly emotive. Your songs are about real issues in

482
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 1: your life. It doesn't matter whether your external life has changed.

483
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 1: How have you continue to be able to access that

484
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 1: because I think some people think, oh, when my life

485
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: was hard, I wrote my best music, and now that

486
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: my external life is simpler. Because there's no easy life.

487
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: My external life is simple. I kind of find it

488
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: hard at access. I've gotten so experienced at writing that

489
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: I can turn it on pretty much at any point.

490
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 1: But one of the ways I do that is by

491
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 1: bringing other people in the room, and so that way

492
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 1: you're not always relying on your own inspiration, which may

493
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: be hard to summon sometimes. And I think because I've

494
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: been such a promiscuous collaborator, it enables me to stay

495
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: refreshed as as a creative person, because even if I

496
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 1: don't immediately have an idea, I could be in a

497
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 1: room with someone who does, and then I can bounce

498
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: off of that, build on that, and we can create

499
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: something together. And then also have quite a bit of

500
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: methodology around my songwriting that makes it easier for me

501
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 1: to tap into my creativity and tap into that inspiration

502
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 1: so that when I have it, I'm able to go

503
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: from inspiration to completion in a way that's tried and

504
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 1: true for me. And that's why I spend a lot

505
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 1: of time on in the master classes, just explaining, you know,

506
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: like this is my methodology for writing a song. The

507
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 1: inspiration is going to come from different places. Sometimes it

508
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 1: comes just from I dream about a song and I

509
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: sing it into my phone and and remember it that way,

510
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: record it for later, and then go to completion when

511
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: I go back to the studio and like sit down

512
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: to write. But either way, the inspiration is going to

513
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: come at some point. Sometimes it's just a riff that

514
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 1: somebody else plays or a beat that someone else plays,

515
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: and then it leads me into a vocal melody, and

516
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: the vocal melody leads me into like a feeling of like,

517
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 1: this is what this song feels like to me, This

518
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: is what the story is that I want to tell.

519
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 1: And then I know how to build a song pretty

520
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 1: easily from those kind of seeds of ideas. And yeah,

521
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: that's what I spent a lot of time on the

522
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: master classes, just teach that once you get this seed

523
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 1: of an idea, here's how you take it to a

524
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: complete song. And it works really well for me because

525
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: it makes it so that I can write once I

526
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 1: have the idea right pretty quickly. Yeah, And I think

527
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: I want to unpack that for everyone because I think

528
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: from anyone that I've sat down with who I believe

529
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,880
Speaker 1: is extreme high, extremely high performing in their space. Obviously

530
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 1: everyone on a masterclasses at that level in their field.

531
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 1: And then when I've sat down with people like Kobe

532
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 1: Bryant as well, or like Novak Djokovic or Jennifer Lopez,

533
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,479
Speaker 1: is like everyone always talks about this balance with what

534
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: you're saying perfectly is like there's inspiration and then there's regulation,

535
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: there's like actual methods, processes, structure. It's like we all

536
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: think that there's a magic moment, which it sounds like

537
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: there is, then that magic needs to turn into a method, yes,

538
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: in order to actually turn into something beautiful. Absolutely, And

539
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: the people that you were referring to, like Kobe, he

540
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: was so naturally gifted, so he had this god given

541
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 1: gift to be this amazing athlete. But he took the

542
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 1: gift which some people have and don't maximize it like

543
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: he did. He took that gift and worked so hard,

544
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: practice so hard, It spend so much time in the gym,

545
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: Like there needs to be more to your your ability

546
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: than this natural ability. It needs to be cultivated, it

547
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 1: needs to be honed, it needs to be practiced, and

548
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: with songwriting, I've gotten to that point where it's not

549
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: just oh I have a gift for music, Oh I

550
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: can sing, Oh I have a good ear, it's oh

551
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of time honing my craft as

552
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: a songwriter, and it helps me figure out how to

553
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: take this idea and make it a song that works. Yeah,

554
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: and I love how everyone's different, Like I completely agree

555
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: with you. Like when I'm doing this, it's like, even

556
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: though I'm not in the same field as you, you

557
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: could say something, I'm like, oh that I need to

558
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: do more of that. I think I mean and when

559
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 1: you when Kobe passed, I spend a lot of time

560
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: just thinking about just like what it takes to be

561
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: someone like him, and I think it really inspired me.

562
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: It's like you really like, if you want to be great,

563
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: if you want to be like world changingly great at something,

564
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: you got to put in the time and energy to

565
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: do that, and it can be inspiring to see examples

566
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: of that in the world and then say, yeah, I

567
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: want to be more like that. Yeah. Well, even when

568
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: you're giving the example of when you're in the studio

569
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: and you're bringing people in, like for me, the podcast

570
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 1: is like that like, I sit down with people that

571
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,479
Speaker 1: I'm not in the field of a tool, yes, and

572
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: I get to do I'm like, oh, that's how they

573
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: do in their field. How can I apply that yes

574
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: to mine? And I think that's what Moss class does great.

575
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 1: But because we had Russ on the wrapper and he

576
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: was talking about the opposite where he was like, I

577
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: don't like having anyone in the room with me because

578
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: if people are in the room with me, then I

579
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: don't get to be silly or I don't get to

580
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: be totally expressive. So he said to us, he was like,

581
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 1: I get rid of everyone and then I make weird

582
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 1: sounds into the microphone to see what works for me.

583
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: Whereas if my boys were that he would saying if

584
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: my boys were there, he was like, they're all laugh

585
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 1: at me. Yeah. And so I'm wondering, who do you

586
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,479
Speaker 1: like having around you that could you give us an

587
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: example of some people that you've sat with it you're like,

588
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: and they don't have to be even people that we know.

589
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: They could be other people behind the scenes, but someone

590
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: that you're like, oh yeah, when they're in the room,

591
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 1: they kind of sparked me this way or that way. Well,

592
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: I take his point as saying, you don't want people

593
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 1: around that aren't totally bought in creatively, because you want

594
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: people in the room that are in there to create

595
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: something beautiful with you, and if they're there to be like,

596
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: you're kind of what my senses, I don't know him,

597
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: and I don't know his friends, but what I'm my

598
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: senses that he's saying like he might want to be

599
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: too cool around them, and if he's too cool around them,

600
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: he may not come up with the best art. And

601
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: I think it's important to have I don't have a

602
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: random people in the studio when we write, Like I

603
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: have only writers in the studio and we just sit

604
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: there and vibe off of each other and see where

605
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 1: the vibe take says, and hopefully everybody's bought in to

606
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: the idea that we just want to make something amazing

607
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: and something beautiful and something interesting and something that's a

608
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 1: great song. And they're not worried about being cool, not

609
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: worried about anything else other than let's make this great.

610
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: That idea of being around people that you're okay to

611
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: make mistakes around, fearless around, Like that's the kind of

612
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: people you want in the room. And we just try things,

613
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: and I try not to have an ego about my ideas.

614
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: So that means if like I do a thing called

615
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: a mumble track, usually where I just mumble a melody

616
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: and see if we like it, and some of the

617
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: other writers in the room may do the same thing,

618
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I like their idea better than mine.

619
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: And I think you need to have that openness to

620
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: other people's ideas, that humility when you're a collaborator. And

621
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: so I think part of what I'm really good at

622
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: is that spirit of collaboration. So I understand that all

623
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: the great ideas don't need to come from me, and

624
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 1: that I can benefit from this other energy and creativity

625
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: in the room and be open to it, you know,

626
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: be humble enough to receive it and not think that

627
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: it all has to come from me. Yeah, egolesseness is

628
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: hard though, Like that's like especially as you become more successful,

629
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: Like I think that's something people struggle with because you

630
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: have to trust yourself to some degree. So how did

631
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: you well? I think So the interesting about ego is

632
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 1: like the people that you think of that have big

633
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: egos also very insecure. So it's like it's a very

634
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 1: interesting thing about that combination of the inflated ego and

635
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 1: the heightened insecurities at the same time, and it can

636
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: be very debilitating when that's the issue, because a lot

637
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: of times when you hear, well, this artist, whenever they come,

638
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: they won't let you look at them. They want this

639
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: and that. And what I hear when I hear that's

640
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: not although they think so much, so highly of themselves,

641
00:33:56,320 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 1: I think all they're pretty insecure probably, and so it's

642
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 1: interesting thinking about that and what that means and what

643
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: they kind of I don't know what the psychology is

644
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,720
Speaker 1: behind that, but it's an interesting combination that I've observed

645
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: in the world is that people that are seen as

646
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: having big egos and being difficult to work with are

647
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 1: also usually pretty insecure exactly. I think you're spot on.

648
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,439
Speaker 1: When I started the show, when I started interviewing people,

649
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: I noticed that too, where there was natural social anxiety

650
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: and a lot of people were just so used to

651
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 1: being on when the camera was on that that's when

652
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 1: they came into full force. But then when the camera

653
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 1: was off, it's not that they didn't care, it's that

654
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 1: they didn't even know how to connect because they've been

655
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: so trained in that way, and so you're right. I

656
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: think it's so interesting that from the outside we could

657
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 1: be that all that person as an ego or they're

658
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: being arrogant, or they you know, they have a they're braggadocious,

659
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: or they have a bravado, but it's not that it's Yeah,

660
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: my assumption is that they're probably insecure. That's usually my assumption. Yeah, yeah, no,

661
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: that's what I said. I'm going to give you a

662
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: bit of context before this next question because I so

663
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: my wife been married for ten years now, sorry, married

664
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: for six he has been together for ten years, and

665
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: she my team was looking at the other day she

666
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,360
Speaker 1: was reading a book and they were like, oh, what

667
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 1: are you reading because she'd taken the cover off and

668
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: they can tell. And she's like, oh, I'm reading my

669
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,479
Speaker 1: husband's book. Is in my book, which I wrote two

670
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: years ago now two and a half, two years ago,

671
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 1: And they were like, what have you not read it?

672
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: Like most of my teams read the book and she

673
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: had it and they're like no, no, she was like, no,

674
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 1: I never got around to it, you know, I read bits.

675
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 1: So like, so my question is I heard Chrissy said

676
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 1: something similar where like she sees the name of a

677
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,760
Speaker 1: song and then she's like wondering, like, wait a minute,

678
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: how did he call that the name of the song?

679
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 1: Is she a number one? Five? Does she listen to

680
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 1: everything or do you often find that like she's catching

681
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: up with everyone else. Well, she doesn't love hearing like

682
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 1: demo versions of songs, so she doesn't like to kind

683
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 1: of be in the sausage making part of the album,

684
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: and so she'd rather hear it once everything's done. And

685
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: so that ends up meaning that she's like learning about

686
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: things when you know, close to win, a lot of

687
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: other people are learning about them too, and so yeah,

688
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: there are times where she's like, oh news to me. Yeah, Yeah,

689
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: she just doesn't like to be in early on the

690
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 1: process because she's found I think from when we first

691
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 1: started dating that when she fell in love with the

692
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 1: demo versions, that we changed them so much that she

693
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 1: didn't like, you know, kind of falling in love with

694
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 1: the early versions because it kind of almost disappointed her

695
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 1: when the finished version was out because she felt like

696
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: less connection to it. So she decided she just didn't

697
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: want to be involved early on in the sausage making

698
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: or she has good reasoning. My wife didn't have time

699
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 1: for me. But I find that's interesting in couples, right,

700
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 1: the idea of like we were talking about being a

701
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 1: good example as a couple and trying to build that

702
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:51,320
Speaker 1: loving relationship. Like I find that in an immature stage

703
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: in my relationship, I constantly wanted my wife to be

704
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 1: my number one fan. Uh, Like there was a time

705
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: where I was like I wanted to read everything and

706
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: listen to everything and one everything and share everything and

707
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: like this I'm talking about like maybe like seven eight

708
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: years ago. And then as time went on, I just

709
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 1: started to realize I was like, well, she's not with

710
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: me for those things, right, Like she can support them

711
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: and appreciate that, but she's living with the real me

712
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: and is experiencing that. Like I guess my question is like,

713
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 1: how do couples appreciate and admire each other in an

714
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: effective way when often we just lead on our partner

715
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:31,439
Speaker 1: for validation and glorification often. Yeah, I still really want

716
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 1: Chrissy to be into my work. I love it, and

717
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: I think more so because like it just feels good

718
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 1: to know that she has good taste and she loves

719
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 1: music and that she likes something I did, Like, you know,

720
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,880
Speaker 1: I'm like that's awesome, and I want her to love it.

721
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: And I respect her a lot and I trust her

722
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:52,959
Speaker 1: a lot, and I feel like she has good taste.

723
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,240
Speaker 1: So if she likes something I did and she especially

724
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,959
Speaker 1: likes it, then that's a really good sign for me. Yeah,

725
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 1: so it feels good. Like it's not that I'm insecure

726
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 1: about it, is that, like I really want her to

727
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: love it, and I want everyone to love it, but

728
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: I want her to love it more. I know I'm

729
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: the same I was doing something recently, but but my

730
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: wife's was the persson that will give you the most

731
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: honest feedback. Yes, Like I will practice a presentation or

732
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: whatever I'm doing in front of and she will just

733
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: pick it apaw. But I know she's doing it. I

734
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 1: love because she also wants me to be incredible at

735
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 1: what I do. And we help each other so much,

736
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: and we believe in each other and we support each

737
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: other so much. So you know, when she's working on

738
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 1: a cookbook, I'm you know, helping her, I'm tasting stuff,

739
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 1: I'm doing whatever I can to help. And you know,

740
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,439
Speaker 1: we collaborate on a lot of business things together. So

741
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 1: there's a lot we do together. But she doesn't like

742
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 1: to be in the weeds of my music creating career,

743
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: but she goes a lot of my shows. She always

744
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: has feedback form you know, how we can put the

745
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 1: show together better and be more effective, you know, set

746
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: list and arrangements and different things like that. She has

747
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 1: ideas about how it should look, and she's giving me

748
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 1: great feedback over the years on that kind of stuff.

749
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 1: So I'm always happy when she's proud of me, and

750
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: when she's excited. That's when you know, I feel very like, Okay,

751
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: we're doing something right here. Yeah, No, I feel them.

752
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 1: I can relate to that too, Like like if I

753
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 1: do something and my wife's happy, it's a different it's

754
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 1: a different form of like my Vega show, like I'm

755
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 1: so proud of it. But um, it was especially good

756
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 1: for me to hear that she was so proud of

757
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 1: it and and so excited to show her friends and

758
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: you know, tell people about it, because that just it

759
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: was like, it's a it's an extra good feeling when

760
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,919
Speaker 1: when she says that, Yeah, definitely, no, I relate. And

761
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: I think the question came from I think it was

762
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: when she said something about when she sold a song

763
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: title I Don't Love You like I used Yeah, and

764
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 1: that's an interesting song, great song. It's for a couple

765
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: because it's like, um, when you go through things together,

766
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: you learn more about each other, you grow, and it's

767
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: not the same kind of love you had when you

768
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: first met. When we first met, we were like very

769
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: attracted to each other. It was it was our chemistry

770
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 1: was great. But that level of attraction is more like

771
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:23,879
Speaker 1: infatuation at the beginning of a relationship, and love, when

772
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: it is able to stand the test of time, it

773
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 1: has to be deeper and more like a more real

774
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: than that. We've been through enough to gather where it's

775
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:39,720
Speaker 1: like really fortified us and made us stronger, and those

776
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 1: tests have made us grow together and and you know,

777
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,760
Speaker 1: realize things about each other that we didn't know. And

778
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: going through all of that makes you be able to

779
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: write and sing a song called I Don't Love You

780
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 1: like I used to. It's it's different now, but it's better. Yeah.

781
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: I love that song because I felt the same way.

782
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 1: I was. Just like that is such a great title

783
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 1: because you're like, oh, no, what's going on And then

784
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 1: you're like, no, actually, it's true. And I think the

785
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 1: challenge with love is that we we've been programmed to

786
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 1: believe that it should stay the same. Yeah, we've been

787
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 1: programmed to believe that you should go recreate your first

788
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: date and everything should feel like your first date. And

789
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 1: it's almost like, well, what if it got better? You know,

790
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: what if there's more? What were you like when you

791
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 1: met Chrissy? And how have you evolved you think, as

792
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 1: a as a man, as a human, as a person, Like,

793
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: what has evolved and grown about you in a positive way? Well?

794
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: I think I was more selfish than like, I wasn't

795
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: a great partner at the beginning of our relationship, even

796
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 1: though I was very into her and very excited to

797
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: be with her, Like, I was still selfish. I was

798
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: in my you know, mid twenties, still like, you know,

799
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 1: not ready to fully be like the committed partner that

800
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 1: I am now. But you know, once you really figure

801
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: out that you love someone and you're really like, love

802
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 1: so much about them and you really want to make

803
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 1: it work with that person, like you have to decide

804
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,239
Speaker 1: like I'm going to do the things I need to

805
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: do to be a good partner in this relationship. And

806
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 1: I've just grown as a person because of that too.

807
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 1: Because when you stop being so selfish, when you think

808
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: about not only the joy you get from a situation

809
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 1: and the pleasure you get from it, but also think

810
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: about your responsibility and your commitment in that situation. I

811
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 1: think you just grow and you're mature, and that's you know.

812
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 1: I think part of it's just a matter of time.

813
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,439
Speaker 1: You need time to become that person that you want

814
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 1: to be. Think in your mid twenties, you're still dealing

815
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,439
Speaker 1: with impulse control, you're still dealing with selfishness, you're still

816
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:44,879
Speaker 1: figuring out what you want to do in your career.

817
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 1: All these things are happening. But when you figure those

818
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: things out, you can just be a better person in general.

819
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 1: And I think it makes you better at other things too,

820
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 1: when you're when you're able to understand that balance between

821
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 1: what you're trying to get from a relationship but also

822
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,800
Speaker 1: what you need to give to make it work. Yeah,

823
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: what did you think that you didn't value about her

824
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: in the beginning? But today, like you're like, oh, I

825
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 1: noticed that more now, Like I didn't even get that

826
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:15,719
Speaker 1: at that time because of my immaturity or earliness. Well,

827
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 1: I feel like I've just learned so much about her personality,

828
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 1: how she reacts to stress, how she reacts to life,

829
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: how she can find a joke even in the craziest

830
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 1: even in grief, like she's able to find humor, And like,

831
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:35,319
Speaker 1: I feel like you see so many things about your

832
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 1: partner as you grow together and as you experience adversity together.

833
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: And what I've seen from her just made me love

834
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 1: her more and value her more. Like I think she's

835
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: cooler now than I've ever thought she was. Like I

836
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: just really have seen her in all kinds of situations.

837
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 1: I just value her more and in awe of her

838
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: more than I ever have been as beautiful. That's great.

839
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 1: I wish the same for my marriage too. It's uh,

840
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 1: I wish for everyone. Honestly. I love love. I went

841
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: to two weddings this weekend. Wow, And and like I

842
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: truly like I can when I'm at these weddings, Like

843
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: I genuinely get emotional, and I genuinely feel like joy

844
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: for this couple in embarking on this journey together. And

845
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: I love celebrating that. I love um seeing it flourish

846
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: and seeing people who are committed to each other make

847
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: it work like I love it. Yeah, No, me too,

848
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: I love love too. And I've just written a whole

849
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 1: new book about Love. Yeah, it comes out next year.

850
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 1: But it's like I officiated two weddings in the last

851
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:45,840
Speaker 1: twelve months, and the difference, the pressure and the honor

852
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: of doing that. My whole thought person in my head

853
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: is don't cry. Don't cry, because I love love so

854
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 1: much and all I want to do is like cry

855
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 1: and just like appreciate. I haven't had to officiate any

856
00:44:55,640 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 1: weddings quite a few. Yeah, but yeah, I got emotional

857
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,879
Speaker 1: this weekend. And I think part of it as being

858
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: a dad too now, because when I watched the bride's

859
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 1: dad walk her down the aisle, I got super emotional.

860
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: I was just thinking about my daughter and thinking about

861
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 1: my son, and just thinking about, you know, just what

862
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: it means to pour all this love into these little

863
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 1: people and then to watch them grow up and experience

864
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 1: life and find love. It was beautiful. That's amazing. I

865
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: love that. I love that you mentioned grief, and then

866
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,720
Speaker 1: you the song pieces in the new album. There's there's

867
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 1: the beautiful lyric let your Broken Heart Learn to Live

868
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,240
Speaker 1: in Pieces, and I just I literally just haven't stopped

869
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: thinking about that because I think that there's so much

870
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,439
Speaker 1: about us that's constantly trying to get everything to fit

871
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: and even with the heart, we're trying to become whole again.

872
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: Like there's always that concept, but you're like, let your

873
00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: broken heart learn to live in pieces, Like where did

874
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: that come from? Like that? Well, the idea of the

875
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 1: song is that we never completely shed or forget this

876
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: trauma that we may go through in life, this loss,

877
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,439
Speaker 1: this heartbreak, Like we'll remember it. There will be times

878
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: when we'll feel those pangs of memory that it'll come back. Um.

879
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you can't heal, it doesn't mean you

880
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: can't recover, but it does mean that that grief will

881
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 1: will still be a part of who you are, a

882
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 1: part of your story. Effectively recovering from that means not

883
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: forgetting it, not that it didn't happen, but learning to

884
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 1: live with it and learning to continue to live with

885
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:44,959
Speaker 1: it and and and experience life and joy and pain

886
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: and all the things that come in life afterwards. Um,

887
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: continue to like live on, um, despite the fact that

888
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 1: this grief won't ever leave you completely. Yeah, it's almost

889
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 1: it's almost like we're asking the wrong question, where it

890
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 1: was like how do I move on? How do I

891
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 1: get over this? And you're saying, well, you're saying you're

892
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: gonna I'm saying you're gonna carry it. It's it's it's

893
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:06,720
Speaker 1: part of your life now, it's part of your story,

894
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: part of who you are, like I said with Chrissy,

895
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 1: like I've seen so much growth through our grief and

896
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,480
Speaker 1: through our tragedy. It's always going to be part of

897
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: who we are. And I'm fine with that. Like it's

898
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: part of who we are, it's we carry it with

899
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: us and it's okay. Yeah, and that and I'm sorry

900
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 1: for your loss and I'm let you know that. I mean,

901
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: I don't think there's pretty much anything harder to go

902
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 1: through than Yeah, I've never been through anything harder. But

903
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 1: it just means you know, when you live long enough,

904
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: you're gonna go through something like that. And figuring out

905
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: how to continue to live as you carry that with

906
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:51,439
Speaker 1: you is um is what the song's really about. Yeah,

907
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 1: And often we find that those traumatic and difficult experiences

908
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 1: can break people apart. But you you you focus on

909
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:01,240
Speaker 1: growing closer together. What do you think is that difference?

910
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: Like you your values are so clear, I can tell

911
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: this interview like values of children and a family, of love,

912
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: of kindness, of connection, Like how do you and moments

913
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 1: like that, is it that your values drive you forward

914
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 1: or like how do you make sure? Because I think

915
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 1: sometimes people just have experiences that derail the everything else

916
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: that's going right. Yeah, And I don't know, because, like

917
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 1: I think part of it is just we are We

918
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: were already on a great foundation where we really respected

919
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: and loved and enjoyed being with each other, respect to

920
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:35,320
Speaker 1: each other's values and the ways, you know, well, the

921
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 1: things that we saw in each other's character that we

922
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: fell in love with or still there. But I think

923
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: you also have to like commit to working through pain,

924
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 1: you know. Um, and I think we both committed to

925
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 1: doing it, like doing the work that we needed to

926
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 1: do to get through it. Yeah. No, I'm happy to

927
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:56,359
Speaker 1: hear that. And you know, my present thank you, Yeah,

928
00:48:56,560 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: because yeah, And I think having already had two kids

929
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 1: together was definitely helpful because they just bring so much

930
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: joy into our lives and laughter and fun, and they

931
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: they're a great focus for our energy. And so even

932
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,280
Speaker 1: when you're going through deep grief on losing and pregnancy,

933
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,439
Speaker 1: you still have these two beautiful babies that you love,

934
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 1: and I think that was certainly helpful. Yeah. Now now

935
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: the questions are moving into a selfish space where I'm

936
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: asking just for me now, So how have you managed?

937
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 1: Like what if you know you've abus said this beautiful

938
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,840
Speaker 1: relationship you've got, You've got two beautiful children that you

939
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 1: both love, and you know, when I think about me

940
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 1: and my wife, like, we also spend a lot of

941
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: time saying, look, let's stabilize our relationship first before we

942
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: think about having kids, because we don't want to invite

943
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:49,959
Speaker 1: beautiful new souls into a relationship where we're not sure

944
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: where we're going or how we're working together. How have

945
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:57,359
Speaker 1: you managed to be so career focused and successful and

946
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 1: keep relationship successful with this? Because I find a lot

947
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 1: of people having children can be the most stressful time

948
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: of their life. It's stressful. I mean, first of all,

949
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 1: we're very fortunate. We have lots of people around us

950
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 1: to help us. We can afford, you know, childcare, We

951
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 1: can afford a lot of things that there are plenty

952
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 1: of families that can't afford having that is no small thing,

953
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 1: like those having help, having my mother in law around,

954
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 1: having you know, grandparents around to help is like all

955
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: these things are very helpful and they alleviate some of

956
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: the stress and make it easier for parents to balance it.

957
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 1: But yeah, I do think you have to be ready

958
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 1: to take on that responsibility. I think a lot of times,

959
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 1: you know, it's about figuring out is at the right

960
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: time in both of your careers to do it, particularly

961
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 1: for the woman, like, it can be very difficult to

962
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 1: figure out when that can be because, particularly in America,

963
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 1: we don't have a lot of leave that's available for

964
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 1: maternal or paternal leave that's available for a lot of families,

965
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 1: and there's all kinds of obstacles in the way that

966
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: make it harder for people to be working parents. And

967
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 1: so I think a lot of people are making decisions

968
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 1: about when I have kids based on that, And that's

969
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: a real, like practical consideration that needs to be figured

970
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: out for you to be able to handle it, because

971
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:20,919
Speaker 1: a lot of the stress around parenting is around having

972
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:25,240
Speaker 1: the resources and the childcare that you need, and when

973
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:28,360
Speaker 1: that's not right, it can be stressful. It can be

974
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 1: stressful in your marriage, it can be stressful in so

975
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: many other things. And so yeah, it and and my

976
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: prescription that all those things need to be in order

977
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: is like a hard prescription to feel though, because it's

978
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 1: like it takes resources it takes family, it takes you know,

979
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 1: everything being aligned, and everything's not going to be perfect

980
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 1: for so many families, and they're still going to want

981
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 1: to bring a life into the world. And yeah, it's

982
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 1: it's a challenge. Yeah, no, absolutely, And I think those

983
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: things changing. I mean, yeah, when I was I was

984
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: born and raised in London, and so when I worked there,

985
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 1: like the maternity even the paternity was fantastic. I mean

986
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 1: it could be even better, but it was great. It

987
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:10,919
Speaker 1: was like at least six months and then you could

988
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 1: extend for another six months if you needed it. And

989
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: it was not to be nerdy, but like, these are

990
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 1: policy things that can affect people's decisions. You know, we're

991
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: having a lot of conversation around reproductive rights and whether

992
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: the state can force people to have kids. And what

993
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:32,879
Speaker 1: I think our conservative fellow citizens should realize is that

994
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: people sometimes would like to have kids, but they're not

995
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 1: in a place to be able to afford it or

996
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: take care of it. And so if there are policy

997
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 1: solutions like child tax credits, free childcare that would make

998
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:52,360
Speaker 1: it more likely that people would choose to have kids.

999
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 1: And I think there's so many families that could use

1000
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 1: that kind of support, And I feel like one way

1001
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 1: that we could come together, conservatives and progressives to say,

1002
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: if you really believe in this idea that families are

1003
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 1: important as like a foundation for our society, and you

1004
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: want to do things to support people having children in

1005
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 1: their lives and building families, like, one way to do

1006
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 1: that is make sure they have the resources to make

1007
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 1: that choice in a way that they can handle it

1008
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: and their family can handle it. Yeah, is that one

1009
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: of the areas that you've been focused on, as you

1010
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:32,879
Speaker 1: were speaking about earlier with has that been an area

1011
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 1: of focus for you? Well, this is something I think

1012
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: about all the time. So I think about it when

1013
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: it comes to our schools, making sure our schools have

1014
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,800
Speaker 1: the resources that they need, making sure our communities have

1015
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 1: the resources they need. And it's kind of the impetus

1016
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 1: behind my entire political kind of inclination is how do

1017
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 1: we make our society more livable, more loving, more just,

1018
00:53:54,560 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 1: more equitable, And how do we support folks who don't

1019
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 1: have the resources they need right now? How do we

1020
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 1: make sure they get those resources? And so a lot

1021
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 1: of times my work has been about the criminal justice system,

1022
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 1: but what I like to do is point out the

1023
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: choices that we make around criminal justice, and how they

1024
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: are resource choices as well connected. Yes, they're more connected

1025
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: because because when we spend so much of our societal

1026
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:32,359
Speaker 1: energy and resources and budgets on policing and locking people up,

1027
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 1: that necessarily precludes us from investing that money in other things.

1028
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 1: And so my advocacy work has really been around let's

1029
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 1: invest in these things that are edifying, that are building,

1030
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:51,479
Speaker 1: that are productive, that are loving, that are just, and

1031
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 1: not invest as much as we have in the things

1032
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:59,920
Speaker 1: that are more destructive and more about the state monopo

1033
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: realizing force and violence through policing and jailing people. Yeah,

1034
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 1: thank you so much for going to nerdy on us.

1035
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 1: It was good. We had to. No, it's important, you know,

1036
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it is important to see

1037
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: the interconnectedness of a value of you know, family, man, children,

1038
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 1: and then how that actually scales up to an economy

1039
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 1: in a society, because we can have these in all

1040
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: small units, but it needs to change it. And I

1041
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 1: get into arguments, you know, with friends of mine who

1042
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 1: are I'm close with, and you know, they they'll see

1043
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 1: these news stories about crime going up and robberies going up,

1044
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: and and and they always kind of default to what

1045
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: we just got to punish people more like make them

1046
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 1: scared to do these kinds of things. And what I'm

1047
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 1: always thinking about is, well, how do we create a

1048
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 1: society where just less of that is happening. How do

1049
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 1: we create a society where people are healthier, they have

1050
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 1: the resources they need, they're not homeless, they're not addicted

1051
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 1: to drugs, and when they are, they're being treated and

1052
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:05,279
Speaker 1: not punished. Like, how do we create society like that?

1053
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 1: And then a lot of these issues with violence and

1054
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:13,040
Speaker 1: with property crimes and all these other things, they'll go

1055
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 1: down if we're investing in the kind of preventative measures

1056
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: that would make us healthier in general. Yeah. Absolutely, you

1057
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 1: were speaking about, you know, the journeys of people, like

1058
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 1: from everyone that you are homeschooled around or in your community,

1059
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 1: Like the journey that you've taken is that I'm guessing

1060
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 1: obviously that's very unique. It's very different when you when

1061
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 1: you look back on your life now, it's like a

1062
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 1: what's there? Like what keeps you going? And when you

1063
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 1: look back, what do you look back at and go?

1064
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:45,960
Speaker 1: That was really special and that was beautiful, and that

1065
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: was something that I always cherished. What keeps me going well,

1066
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 1: part of it is just the joy I get from

1067
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 1: creating new things. It's a very like amazing sense of

1068
00:56:56,480 --> 00:57:01,439
Speaker 1: gratification that you get when you walk into a room

1069
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:06,359
Speaker 1: and nothing exists except you know, loose ideas in your head,

1070
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,439
Speaker 1: and then a few hours later, like you walk out

1071
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 1: with this new thing that exists. It's a song, And

1072
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:15,399
Speaker 1: like that song could be the one that changes your life,

1073
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 1: it could mean something to all kinds of other people.

1074
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 1: I just at the wedding I went to one of

1075
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: the weddings I went to this weekend. Some guys said,

1076
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 1: I went to your show and it actually saved my marriage,

1077
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: and like, I could be writing that song then save

1078
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 1: someone's marriage tomorrow. And the fact that I get to

1079
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 1: go to work and create something brand new that didn't

1080
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 1: exist before is such a joy and I truly like

1081
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 1: I want to do it all the time. That keeps

1082
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 1: me going, And then being on stage is really exciting

1083
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 1: for me and fun. I love the connection I feel

1084
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 1: with the audience. I love when the show just feels

1085
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 1: like everybody's clicking on all cylinders. We're doing this together.

1086
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 1: We've got band members, dancers, singers, every body came together

1087
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 1: to put the show on, and we get it right,

1088
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 1: and we feel the energy from the crowd, and we

1089
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: feel the love from the crowd, and we're giving it

1090
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 1: to them, they're giving it back, and we feel this

1091
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 1: connection and this chemistry, this energy that we're all creating together.

1092
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 1: I love it. I truly love it, and I want

1093
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 1: to do it as long as as long as people

1094
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 1: will listen to me. Well, it's gonna be a long time.

1095
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 1: So who's someone that you spoke about collaborations. Who's someone

1096
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:29,919
Speaker 1: that's no longer with us that you would have loved

1097
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 1: to have collaborated with in person or do you think

1098
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 1: it'd have like brought something out of you that Nina Simone.

1099
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 1: I'm a big Nina Simone fan. I named my daughter

1100
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 1: Luna Simone after her, and I have always loved her

1101
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 1: artistry and I would just love to jam with her.

1102
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 1: It would be so fun. She's such a great musician

1103
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:52,920
Speaker 1: and had such a cool approach to arranging songs. She

1104
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 1: always did such interesting covers of songs too, like she

1105
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 1: would do like the definitive cover of so many songs,

1106
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 1: just because her musicianship and her point of view is

1107
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 1: so interesting. I would love to just soak in that

1108
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,919
Speaker 1: for a little while. Yeah, And what about someone who's

1109
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 1: alive that you haven't collaborated with it yet, someone that

1110
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,960
Speaker 1: you find inspiring in any field of music or anything.

1111
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:17,439
Speaker 1: Kendrick Lamar I just hasn't happened yet. Like I've worked

1112
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 1: with almost every rapper in history, but Kendrick I'm truly

1113
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 1: a fan of. And I went to go see a

1114
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: show this weekend and love his new album, love all

1115
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 1: of his albums. I just think the lovel of artistry

1116
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: and care that he puts into everything is just so impressive.

1117
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:36,760
Speaker 1: He's one of my favorite artists in any genre right now.

1118
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 1: I think he's just incredible. I love that when when

1119
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 1: you're working on an album, like how much? Because you're

1120
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 1: someone who works consistently on an album for a long

1121
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:48,240
Speaker 1: amount of time before it comes out, right, there's not

1122
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 1: always new music all the time. What kind of in

1123
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 1: that creative process? Like how do you stay inspired in

1124
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 1: the ups and downs and the ebbs and flows of

1125
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: her long creative process which is ran now days? Like

1126
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 1: when you got someone like Kendrick, right, like everyone talks

1127
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 1: about Kendrick is someone who work on an album for

1128
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:06,880
Speaker 1: a couple of years, which used to be the norm,

1129
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: and it's yeah, it's still a norm for me, Like, yeah,

1130
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 1: that's what I mean. Yes, Yeah, I feel like making

1131
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:13,840
Speaker 1: an album is about a two year process for me,

1132
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:15,320
Speaker 1: and I try to put them out every two or

1133
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,360
Speaker 1: three years. But you're not always gonna be inspired every day,

1134
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 1: but there's always another day. And you know, most albums,

1135
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 1: you know, around an hour, a little bit less, a

1136
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 1: little bit more. I did a double album this time,

1137
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: it's an hour twenty minute. But like, over a two

1138
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 1: year period, I'm going to have enough inspiration to make

1139
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 1: an hour. Yeah that's right. So there will be days

1140
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:41,000
Speaker 1: when you know you don't feel it. And like I said,

1141
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,480
Speaker 1: one of my best ways of combating any kind of

1142
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 1: writer's block is having other energy around me and other

1143
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,000
Speaker 1: creative people in the room so that I feel like

1144
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,160
Speaker 1: I can get inspired by things that are outside of

1145
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:56,320
Speaker 1: my own head. And so I think that's important. Scheduling

1146
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: the time to write, I think it's important rather than

1147
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 1: just kind of waiting around for inspiration randomly to hit

1148
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:06,040
Speaker 1: because you need I think you need to actively summon

1149
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 1: that rather than just kind of hoping it'll you're gonna

1150
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 1: knock you over the head every once in a while. Yea,

1151
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 1: you need to actively summon it, and so for me,

1152
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:19,800
Speaker 1: scheduling the time is important too. Yeah, do you have

1153
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 1: any like weird quirks or habits to help summon that moment,

1154
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:25,520
Speaker 1: or like some kind of things that you need around

1155
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 1: you or any items or things you need to see

1156
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:30,480
Speaker 1: or is it more like just scheduling, planning, structure. And

1157
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 1: then you want the inspiration to come, and like it

1158
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 1: could come from a movie you saw just a line

1159
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 1: from the movie. Inspiration could come from a song you

1160
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 1: listen to in the car on the way to the studio.

1161
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 1: Inspiration could come from just a random conversation you had

1162
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 1: where just this line like stuck out to you. And then,

1163
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,320
Speaker 1: like I said before, a lot of us do collaboration.

1164
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:54,000
Speaker 1: So a producer may come in and he have a

1165
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 1: track or she'll have a track and play it for

1166
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 1: you and it's just music, but it speaks to you

1167
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 1: and you'll feel something from it and then build a

1168
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 1: song from that. And so those are different ways the

1169
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 1: inspiration comes. Yeah, what's been the difference about the first

1170
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,600
Speaker 1: day when you stepped into a studio like two now

1171
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 1: when you step in, like what were the emotions and

1172
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 1: the feelings. Then what's changed? What stayed the same? Well,

1173
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 1: I think I have a better understanding of what I

1174
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:25,640
Speaker 1: want to do now when I go into studio. I

1175
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 1: think before I just had less creative confidence, I think,

1176
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:36,680
Speaker 1: and I've earned it through just working. Yeah, like time, work, repetition.

1177
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:40,280
Speaker 1: Like I've just written a lot, and when I walk

1178
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,200
Speaker 1: into the studio now, I just feel like I know

1179
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 1: how to write a song. I knew how to write

1180
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 1: a really good song, and I just need to like

1181
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 1: work on it. I need to spend the time, spend

1182
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 1: the energy, and do all those things to get inspired,

1183
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:55,919
Speaker 1: like I said before, and then I'll figure it out. Yeah, John,

1184
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,840
Speaker 1: You've been so gracious with your time and energy. Thank you.

1185
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 1: I've loved this conversation. It's it's fine. We've gone everywhere,

1186
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:04,919
Speaker 1: like we just we talked about relationships, to talk about children.

1187
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:06,960
Speaker 1: Were talking about your childhood, Like it's been so beautiful.

1188
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:10,360
Speaker 1: We end every episode with two segments. One's a fast

1189
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 1: five quick questions so one word to one sentence answers Max,

1190
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:16,080
Speaker 1: and then I'll tell you a boy the other one,

1191
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: So John Legend, these are your fast five all right,

1192
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,520
Speaker 1: questionable one. What's the best advice you've ever received. I

1193
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 1: love Quincy Jones advice, he says, still from the best. Nice.

1194
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 1: That means, you know, be open to being influenced and

1195
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 1: like take some of that. Listen to different artists that

1196
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 1: you love and like think about how to incorporate their

1197
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:40,560
Speaker 1: artistry into what you do. And I think the more

1198
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:42,440
Speaker 1: I know this is longer than a sentence, it's good.

1199
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 1: It's a good thing. The more the more you do it, Yeah,

1200
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 1: you just start to develop who you are. But it's

1201
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 1: informed and inspired by all your influences. Yeah, I love

1202
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 1: that answer. You're you're allowed. It's good, you're allowed to go.

1203
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 1: Question number two, what's the worst advice you've ever heard

1204
01:03:56,880 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 1: or received? I don't know. I don't really catalog bad advice.

1205
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:08,480
Speaker 1: One thing we laughed about was Kanye didn't like the

1206
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:12,320
Speaker 1: title ordinary People for a song. Wow. Yeah, of course

1207
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 1: he changed his mind after while. Yeah, at first he

1208
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:20,120
Speaker 1: was like, can you come up with a better But

1209
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:23,600
Speaker 1: it went out that way. He never got changed, never changed, Yes,

1210
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,320
Speaker 1: never got changed, but it was his He was like,

1211
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 1: can you come up with something better to say than that?

1212
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 1: But uh, eventually he fell in love with it and

1213
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 1: ended up directing the video for it, and uh and

1214
01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 1: uh it became you know, obviously in a very important

1215
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:40,840
Speaker 1: song at the beginning of my career. But we always

1216
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:42,880
Speaker 1: thought it was funny that he was like, I'm not

1217
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:48,200
Speaker 1: solding this ordinary people idea. I love that. Question number three,

1218
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,800
Speaker 1: what's something that you used to value that you don't

1219
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 1: value anymore? Oh, I don't know. Well, I mean we

1220
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 1: just go through different phases in life. And I think

1221
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 1: I wanted like a certain kind of freedom when I

1222
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 1: was younger, Um, when I was a bachelor, and you know,

1223
01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:11,040
Speaker 1: you like treasure this kind of freedom and living like

1224
01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:15,320
Speaker 1: without as many commitments. But then you fall in love

1225
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 1: and you have kids with someone, and then like the

1226
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:21,560
Speaker 1: commitment and the and the responsibility is like it's like

1227
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 1: it's life defining in so many ways, and you don't

1228
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: value that that kind of freedom that you thought you

1229
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:32,400
Speaker 1: wanted before. Yeah, that's a beautiful answer. We've never never

1230
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 1: had that answer before. That's that's a special one. All right.

1231
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:37,560
Speaker 1: Question or before the podcast is called on purpose? So

1232
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:40,920
Speaker 1: how would you define your current purpose in life? My

1233
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,240
Speaker 1: purpose is to bring love into the world. Um, it's

1234
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 1: so much the core of who I am artistically but

1235
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:53,880
Speaker 1: also politically. I think love is like, I'm not religious.

1236
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:57,920
Speaker 1: Love is my religion. That's beautiful. And fifthy final question

1237
01:05:57,960 --> 01:06:00,000
Speaker 1: for the fast five is if you could create one,

1238
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,160
Speaker 1: one law that everyone in the world had to follow,

1239
01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:06,240
Speaker 1: what would it be one law? We asked this to

1240
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 1: every guess. You're getting us the same questions as every guest. Oh, well,

1241
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 1: to love one another, yes, let's love yes. Yeah, it's

1242
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 1: a very Christian. It's like the part of our Jesus's

1243
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 1: uh two commandments were that you would love God and

1244
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:27,920
Speaker 1: that you would love your neighbor as you love yourself.

1245
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 1: And if you think about that idea of loving your

1246
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 1: neighbor as yourself, um, it's a pretty powerful idea. And

1247
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:39,240
Speaker 1: if that were to guide our behaviors and our politics

1248
01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:42,480
Speaker 1: and and and just the way we treated each other,

1249
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:45,240
Speaker 1: it would be, you know, pretty good world to live in.

1250
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:48,240
Speaker 1: Absolutely absolutely all right. And these these ones are going

1251
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:50,919
Speaker 1: to be shorter. This is a segment called the Many

1252
01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 1: Sides to Us And so again this can be one

1253
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 1: word for each one, literally one word. So what is

1254
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,680
Speaker 1: the word to describe what someone would say about you

1255
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:03,480
Speaker 1: me in you for the first time? Calm? Definitely, you

1256
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:05,320
Speaker 1: were very calm when you came in today, would I

1257
01:07:05,360 --> 01:07:07,360
Speaker 1: would have to agree with it. We walked over, you

1258
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:09,480
Speaker 1: were very calm. I don't have a lot of like

1259
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 1: highs and lows. I'm very even keel through life, which

1260
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:20,479
Speaker 1: can be frustrating, like as a partner like Chrissy would

1261
01:07:20,520 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 1: like for me sometimes to be a little more dynamic.

1262
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:25,640
Speaker 1: But I think you know, it's also like it's a

1263
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:27,840
Speaker 1: gift and a curse because when you're going through like

1264
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 1: tough times and you need stability and you need a

1265
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:33,640
Speaker 1: rock around you, I can be a rock. Well, that's

1266
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:36,000
Speaker 1: why you need the humor in this spontane exactly. That's

1267
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:38,280
Speaker 1: why we're good together. Yeah, that's my wife to my

1268
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 1: wife's the spontaneous one. I'm the even gil Well that

1269
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 1: works for us, all right. Question number two, what's a

1270
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 1: word to describe what someone would describe you that knows

1271
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:50,000
Speaker 1: you very well? I think, honestly, so much much of

1272
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:53,320
Speaker 1: how my friends will describe me as that I'm an

1273
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:57,320
Speaker 1: even kil person, that I'm a calming presence, and that

1274
01:07:57,520 --> 01:07:59,439
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of highs and lows. So

1275
01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:01,680
Speaker 1: I think people that first meete me, think that people

1276
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:03,760
Speaker 1: that love me for a long time think that as well.

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01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:05,800
Speaker 1: That's good. That's not a bad thing, all right. Question

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Speaker 1: number three, what is the word this time? You can't

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01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 1: say the same one, okay, because you're gonna have the

1280
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:13,080
Speaker 1: same one that the first two made sense? What is

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01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:16,880
Speaker 1: the word you'd used to describe yourself creative? I love

1282
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:21,559
Speaker 1: I love to create and I love putting new things

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01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:24,439
Speaker 1: out into the world. Ye. What's the word that someone

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01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 1: that maybe doesn't agree with you would say about you? Well,

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01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:29,680
Speaker 1: let me think with you, let me go to my

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01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:35,720
Speaker 1: Twitter mentions. Well, I think people that don't know me, Yeah,

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01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:38,479
Speaker 1: they know me. You know, they know that I called

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01:08:38,479 --> 01:08:41,800
Speaker 1: myself John Legend. That was assumed stage name. I wasn't

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01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:45,320
Speaker 1: born that, so they probably think I'm pretty arrogant. Um,

1290
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:48,000
Speaker 1: you know, I don't think I am, but you know

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01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:52,000
Speaker 1: I could give off that sense that you know, I'm

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01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:54,960
Speaker 1: pretty arrogant, right, okay, all right? Question number five, the

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01:08:55,040 --> 01:08:58,479
Speaker 1: last one. What's the word that you're trying to embody? Love? Love?

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01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:04,160
Speaker 1: I love it Legend everyone. The master Class on Songwriting

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01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:07,240
Speaker 1: John Legend teaches Songwriting is available right now. I hope

1296
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:09,880
Speaker 1: you go and subscribe to master Class. Genuinely, it is

1297
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 1: a phenomenal platform when you get access to all these

1298
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:17,200
Speaker 1: incredible thinkers, leaders, teachers, guides when you sign up. As

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01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 1: I said, I've been a subscriber since Bob Igers and

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01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:24,200
Speaker 1: I cannot wait. I can I become a good songwriter? John,

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01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:27,000
Speaker 1: That is the question, Even though that's a good question.

1302
01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 1: I did Grael theory. I feel like there has to

1303
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:35,800
Speaker 1: be some level of foundational musical understanding. Yeah, to use

1304
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:37,840
Speaker 1: my class, but I think if you have that it

1305
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:40,120
Speaker 1: can be really helpful. Well, I did grade five theory.

1306
01:09:40,240 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 1: I played piano up to grade four. Yes, and I

1307
01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:44,000
Speaker 1: used to play percussion, but I haven't done it since

1308
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:47,880
Speaker 1: I was twelve. And you may need it like a collaborator,

1309
01:09:47,880 --> 01:09:50,639
Speaker 1: like an instrumentalist, like a guitarist or a pianist with

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01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:53,519
Speaker 1: you to help you kind of have some music theory

1311
01:09:53,560 --> 01:09:55,920
Speaker 1: because I can't in my class. I don't teach you

1312
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,559
Speaker 1: a lot of like how to play the instrument, of course,

1313
01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:01,120
Speaker 1: but I teach you how to take the knowledge that

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01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 1: you have and build a song from it. Absolutely, I

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01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:06,080
Speaker 1: love it, John Well. I hope we get to bump

1316
01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:09,680
Speaker 1: into each other again. Assure, Thank you man, Thank you

1317
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:12,000
Speaker 1: so much, great time energy, great to meet you. Thank you,

1318
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:14,240
Speaker 1: And everyone's been listening watching back at home or wherever

1319
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:16,040
Speaker 1: you are. If you're on the move, make sure that

1320
01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:18,759
Speaker 1: you tag John and I on Instagram, on Twitter, on TikTok.

1321
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:21,000
Speaker 1: Let us know what stood out to you, what you learned,

1322
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:23,760
Speaker 1: what you gained. Maybe there were some amazing experiences that

1323
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 1: you didn't know anything about. I love seeing what you

1324
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:28,400
Speaker 1: take away, what you learn. Make sure you share that

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01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:38,200
Speaker 1: with both of us and I'll see it the next episode.