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Speaker 1: Okay, Hi, Hi Chelsea, Hi, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm great? How are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sucking on a energize energy mint.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to all those a thing.

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Speaker 3: I know. I'm trying out all these little different sources

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Speaker 3: of energy because you know, I don't really drink coffee. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so excuse my sucking. Welcome to the show, everybody. I

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Speaker 3: don't think We announce last week that my book is

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Speaker 3: available for pre order.

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Speaker 1: My new book.

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Speaker 3: It's called I'll Have What She's Having, very title my

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Speaker 3: editor came up with just to be on the just

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Speaker 3: to go on the record and make sure people don't

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Speaker 3: think I'm talking about myself that way. But it's available

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Speaker 3: for pre order, uh everywhere, Amazon, Barnes and Noble. They're

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Speaker 3: signed copies at Barnes and Noble. I signed ten thousand books,

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Speaker 3: hopefully ten thousand. I'm not about eighty five hundred right now,

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Speaker 3: so I have fifteen hundred to go and I think

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Speaker 3: i'll finish it.

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Speaker 1: I usually get the job done. And they're available at.

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Speaker 3: Amazon, Target, Bookshop dot Org, Audible, Barnes and Noble, Apple Books,

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Speaker 3: BAM Books.

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Speaker 1: A million.

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Speaker 3: That was the one I was thinking of. Okay, so

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Speaker 3: you can pre order my book anywhere. It comes out

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Speaker 3: February twenty fifth, which is my fiftieth birthday. So I

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Speaker 3: was very excited to unveil the cover on Instagram and

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Speaker 3: on some sort of I think it was People Magazine, Yes,

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Speaker 3: Able Magazine, Yes, and everybody get your copy because we're

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Speaker 3: going to have a book club.

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Speaker 2: And so if they want to signed copy, do they

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Speaker 2: just go to one of these real first ten.

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Speaker 1: Thousand I think so the first ten thousand, I'm not

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Speaker 1: really sure.

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Speaker 2: We'll find out. You can find out we're here.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, they just said, but I know for

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Speaker 3: sure Barnes and Noble bookseller and then Bam Books a

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Speaker 3: million has signed copies.

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Speaker 2: Awesome, that's fantastic.

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Speaker 3: And then we have another book author coming, book author,

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Speaker 3: author of a book coming on the show today. Who's

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Speaker 3: here with us today. She's an actor and director and

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Speaker 3: her name is Riley Keo. She is the co author

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Speaker 3: of From Here to the Great Unknown, which is the

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Speaker 3: memoir of her late mother, Lisa Marie Presley. She is

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Speaker 3: the granddaughter of Priscilla and Elvis Presley and now the

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Speaker 3: sole trustee of Graceland. Please welcome Riley Keyo.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Riley Keo, Hi, guys, so cute. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I want to say, we're sitting here in my house.

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Speaker 1: Else it's still not done.

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Speaker 3: I watched a lot of your interviews in promotion of

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Speaker 3: your book, which is Everybody's nose by now. It's called

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Speaker 3: From Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley

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Speaker 3: and Riley Keo, and I've been watching your interviews and

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Speaker 3: I just want to say. I wanted to start by

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Speaker 3: saying that with everything you've experienced in your life and

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Speaker 3: everything that you have been through and exposed to, you

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Speaker 3: have a very calm and grounded aura about you, really,

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Speaker 3: and it's very easy to see.

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Speaker 1: So congratulations on that.

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Speaker 4: Thank you. That's that's an achievement.

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Speaker 1: Yes it is.

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Speaker 5: I don't feel that way, but the aura is you

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Speaker 5: don't feel that way important not all the time.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel that way any of the time.

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Speaker 4: I do. Some of the time.

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Speaker 5: I have felt that, but I definitely have felt many

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Speaker 5: other things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would imagine that to be true.

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Speaker 3: So I was reading your book and when I got

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Speaker 3: to the end and was reading the little author's notes,

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Speaker 3: and it said at the end of yours, it says

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Speaker 3: she is the eldest daughter of Lisa Marie Presley and

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Speaker 3: sole trustee of Graceland.

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Speaker 1: And now I thought that sentence.

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Speaker 3: I was like, like, that made me just feel so

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Speaker 3: overwhelmed for you, like the soul trustee of Graceland, Like,

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Speaker 3: what does that mean to you?

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Speaker 4: You know, I don't know. I think it just I

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Speaker 4: think it's actually meaningful to me.

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Speaker 5: I think it's something that I have always even when

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Speaker 5: I wasn't the soul trustee. It's something that I've participated

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Speaker 5: in in a sense with my mom, and we were

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Speaker 5: very close, so like a lot of the Graceland stuff,

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Speaker 5: I was already involved in with her. So I don't know,

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Speaker 5: to be honest, it doesn't really.

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Speaker 4: Feel like like that intense to me.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think that.

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Speaker 4: I think on paper it sounds yeah.

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Speaker 1: I did. I was like, oh, I don't know that

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Speaker 1: kind of responsibility.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean there's luckily like there's a lot of

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Speaker 5: people involved, so it's not all on just my.

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Speaker 1: Show, right. Of course, I've been running that operation for

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Speaker 1: a while.

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Speaker 3: I was there a few years ago when I was

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Speaker 3: performing over there is there a venue?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I performed there. That's where I was. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so this book was your mom wanted to write

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Speaker 3: a book, and she asked you to help her with it.

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Speaker 3: There's parts that are in your voice, and there are

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Speaker 3: parts in her voice, and it's.

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Speaker 1: Heavy and beautiful and joyful.

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Speaker 3: And you had so many beautiful, joyful experiences growing up

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Speaker 3: and crazy experiences and different people in and out of

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Speaker 3: your lives, And so I wonder, what does it feel

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Speaker 3: like a to be the granddaughter of someone so legendary

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Speaker 3: and knowing so much about him through your own family,

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Speaker 3: but without ever having met him yourself.

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Speaker 5: Well, I think my answer is probably a lot less

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Speaker 5: interesting than people would want it to be. But it's

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Speaker 5: felt very normal to me. I'm aware, obviously that it's

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Speaker 5: a unique situation, but I think that my perception of

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Speaker 5: him was always familial, and my relation to him, even

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Speaker 5: though I didn't meet him, was through my family, so

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Speaker 5: it felt personal. But I, you know, I can acknowledge

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Speaker 5: the how unique it is, but I think that even

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Speaker 5: though he was always around and his music was always playing,

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Speaker 5: and he was kind of everywhere all the time, it's

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Speaker 5: still just felt like a personal family connection.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever sat and watched his films and and

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Speaker 3: been like, oh my god, this is my grandfather, this

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Speaker 3: is where I've come from.

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Speaker 5: I have, but I think I'm like the kind of

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Speaker 5: person who's like obsessed with where I came from anyway.

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Speaker 5: So it's what's really cool is that I have so

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Speaker 5: much of it to look at, you know. I think

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Speaker 5: that I'm like very interested in my family history and

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Speaker 5: my family tree on both sides of my family.

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Speaker 4: So it's actually very cool.

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Speaker 5: And one of the coolest things for me being like

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Speaker 5: obsessed with where I've come from is that our entire

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Speaker 5: family tree and everything because of like archives at Graceland,

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Speaker 5: we have like a whole detailed thing. But yeah, it's

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Speaker 5: I definitely, especially when I was a teenager, would watch performances.

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Speaker 3: And so with your mother and her losing her father

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Speaker 3: at the age of nine, that was obviously something that

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Speaker 3: she struggled with her throughout her life. And the way

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Speaker 3: you speak about your mother is in almost and you

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Speaker 3: say this in the beginning of the book. You say,

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Speaker 3: like I almost have I forget the exact wording, but

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Speaker 3: like a maternal instinct, like maybe I sometimes think about

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Speaker 3: if I were mother a mother to my own mother

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Speaker 3: and to my grandmother, which I thought was very powerful.

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Speaker 1: Yea, So tell me a little bit about that.

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Speaker 5: I when I was writing, I was talking to my

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Speaker 5: publisher and I said that, and then I thought, well,

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Speaker 5: I'm going to put it in the book because I

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Speaker 5: don't really know exactly what it means, but it's how

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Speaker 5: I felt. And I think that that was a feeling

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Speaker 5: I had as far back as I could remember that

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Speaker 5: I felt like I wanted to protect my mother and

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Speaker 5: I guess nurture her or mother her. And I had

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Speaker 5: that with my grandmother too, So I don't know what why.

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Speaker 5: I think maybe and not to say by the way,

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Speaker 5: they they were both great parents and my mother was

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Speaker 5: extremely nurturing, but I just felt this desire to or empathy.

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Speaker 4: It was probably empathy. Honestly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's totally natural.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think you want a mother as a woman,

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Speaker 3: like you know, you want to protect the people that

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Speaker 3: you love, and that becomes the kind of like mothering

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Speaker 3: kind of not role. But you can be a mother

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Speaker 3: to your own mother sometimes and I think you certainly

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Speaker 3: have been.

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Speaker 1: And what's from what's in the book, I think.

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Speaker 5: So, I mean, I think it's it's it's more common

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Speaker 5: than I had realized in my twenties that you get

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Speaker 5: to this point and you can become the mother, or

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Speaker 5: your relationship changes with your mother. Yeah, in my case

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Speaker 5: it was kind of drastic because there was drug use,

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Speaker 5: so it was like a kind of a three sixty situation.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, it's like kind of an inevitable circumstance, whether

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Speaker 5: it's due to age or something, you know.

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Speaker 4: So I think that it's always in you, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think that it's also the role that your father

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Speaker 3: has played in your life and your brother's life and

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Speaker 3: your mother's life. Always this constant, you know, this constant presence,

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Speaker 3: and them living together even after they divorced and all

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Speaker 3: and that relationship and how long they stuck together and

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Speaker 3: how he, as you say, was such a protector of hers.

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Speaker 3: What does your relationship to your father mean to you

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Speaker 3: after having gone through all of these losses together.

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Speaker 5: Well, our relationship, my whole life has been incredibly close.

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Speaker 5: Actually all of us, my mom, my dad, my brother,

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Speaker 5: all of us four and my two younger sisters, but

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Speaker 5: primarily us four.

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Speaker 4: We're very very close.

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Speaker 5: And I think that there's this sense like that we're

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Speaker 5: the only two left out of that family that was created.

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Speaker 5: And I also didn't expect it to be me and him,

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Speaker 5: so there's this weird you know, he's kind of a

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Speaker 5: wild card, my dad, and he's I hope he one

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Speaker 5: day writes his own book because his story is so fascinating,

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Speaker 5: regardless of my mom, Like he's just one of those

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Speaker 5: people that has most insane life. But I think that

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Speaker 5: there is this sense of we share a lot of

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Speaker 5: the same experiences and loss and grief and suffering in

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Speaker 5: a sense, but also the love that was there, So

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Speaker 5: it is very unique.

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Speaker 4: Like I feel very grateful to have him.

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Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I mean during this time of loss

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Speaker 3: or I know it wasn't right back to back, but

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Speaker 3: between your brother and your mother, I mean, you needed

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Speaker 3: another witness there.

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Speaker 1: I mean anybody would. Are you close? You're still close

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Speaker 1: with your grandmother, right.

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Speaker 4: I am, Yeah, We're close. We are.

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Speaker 5: She's wonderful. I mean we've been close my whole life,

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Speaker 5: and I think that a lot.

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Speaker 4: I've been doing a lot of press.

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Speaker 5: Who've you know, asked about a relationship, because obviously there

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Speaker 5: was a lot of news when my mom passed, But ultimately,

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Speaker 5: like we have never I mean to this day, have

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Speaker 5: never really had an argument.

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Speaker 4: And we're fairly close.

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Speaker 5: You know, we're pretty average family other than the random,

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Speaker 5: you know, lawsuit and.

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Speaker 1: Did all right? All right, I wasn't even talking about that.

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Speaker 3: Did that get sorted out? Okay, okay, great, that's good

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Speaker 3: to know. So, but your father lives and you live in.

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Speaker 1: LA and your father lives in LA.

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Speaker 3: Right, yeah, So, I mean, I don't know, I kind

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Speaker 3: of looked at it like I was reading it and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, God, your dad and you kind of sound

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Speaker 3: like soulmates.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I think we.

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Speaker 5: All like there was a sense between all of us

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Speaker 5: that we were soulmates or something, you know, like him

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Speaker 5: and my mother, my brother and myself and my father.

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Speaker 5: There's there was such closeness there that I think a

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Speaker 5: lot of my processing of their loss is like also

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Speaker 5: processing the closeness as well and realizing how unique that was.

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Speaker 3: Well, you talk about in the book when your brother

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Speaker 3: took his life and that you knew that your mom

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Speaker 3: wasn't going to be able to survive that for very

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Speaker 3: long instinctively, and you talk about how you guys all

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Speaker 3: just kind of came together and stayed in the house

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Speaker 3: and really grieved together and didn't talk about anything other

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Speaker 3: than Ben and you know, really honored him. And I

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Speaker 3: thought that was very powerful because not a lot of

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Speaker 3: people know how to do something like that.

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Speaker 5: No, And I think that it was a unique situation

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Speaker 5: because it was COVID, so there was also nothing to

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Speaker 5: do and we were all stuck in the house and

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Speaker 5: so but I also felt very grateful for it because

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Speaker 5: I think that had life been its usual self, that

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Speaker 5: maybe I would have, I don't know, tried to escape

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Speaker 5: some of the pain. And I think that the way

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Speaker 5: that we grieved, you know, it's obviously like a lifelong process,

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Speaker 5: but in that moment.

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Speaker 4: Was really effective.

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Speaker 5: I just kept feeling like, in the moment, like the

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Speaker 5: only way out is through I remember, and I just

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Speaker 5: felt like I had to feel it all and had

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Speaker 5: to be present through it. And I think that because

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Speaker 5: we were all staying in this house and because it

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Speaker 5: was you know, the pandemic, it allowed for that kind

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Speaker 5: of grief which I normally you just kind of just go,

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Speaker 5: you know, go back to work and have to process

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Speaker 5: while you're juggling life.

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Speaker 2: Well, it seems like your mom, from what I read,

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Speaker 2: organized times for you guys to be creative, to gather

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Speaker 2: and grieve together and process. Can you talk a little

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Speaker 2: bit about that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I think that when he passed like

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Speaker 5: her whole life was then grief grieving my brother, like

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Speaker 5: in mourning essentially, and I think that at times that

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Speaker 5: was intense because that was you know, she had a

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Speaker 5: very strong personality, and so whatever she was feeling was

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Speaker 5: how the room was feeling. So I think that her

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Speaker 5: feelings dictated everybody around. And I think that she was

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Speaker 5: kind of firm in not wanting to ever stop grieving

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Speaker 5: my brother, and so it was kind of like when

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Speaker 5: you're with around me, like I'm in pain, and that's

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Speaker 5: just how it is. But the honesty in it was

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Speaker 5: really I mean, her in her whole life and in

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Speaker 5: her grief was very powerful too.

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Speaker 3: Did you feel at all like you suspected your mother

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Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to survive Ben's death and that she

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Speaker 3: was going to struggle with it, which initially she didn't,

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Speaker 3: right she stayed sober for a while you write about,

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Speaker 3: but did you.

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Speaker 1: Feel at all?

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Speaker 3: I mean, it felt like when you were on the

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Speaker 3: plane ride coming home and texting with your dad about

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Speaker 3: you know, whether or not she was alive still that

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Speaker 3: there was almost an acceptance from you that that was

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Speaker 3: the way it was going to be, instead of sometimes

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Speaker 3: you know, we resist and fight the reality.

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Speaker 1: That we're in.

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Speaker 5: I think a lot of my lifetime has been acceptance,

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Speaker 5: just being around a lot of addiction and situations that

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Speaker 5: were not in my control. So by the time she passed,

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Speaker 5: I think I had had a lot of practice in

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Speaker 5: accepting what is, not that it's not painful, but I

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Speaker 5: think that you know, through her addiction, my brother, you know,

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Speaker 5: things with my father, like what, There's been a lot

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Speaker 5: of things where I've just had to like, there's nothing

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Speaker 5: to do other than surrender to what's happening. So and

303
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Speaker 5: there were other things that had happened with her health,

304
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Speaker 5: like she had a seizure, which I mentioned in the

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Speaker 5: book prior, So there were these moments where I kind

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Speaker 5: of had placed myself in that scenario. And also through

307
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Speaker 5: her addiction, I thought it was a very likely outcome

308
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Speaker 5: that she wasn't going to make it through her addiction.

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Speaker 5: So there was a lot of bumps in the road

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Speaker 5: along the way. But I think ultimately when my brother died,

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Speaker 5: I did I could see that she was here, you know, begrudgingly,

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Speaker 5: you know, And so there was for whatever reason I

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Speaker 5: in that moment, I did feel a sort of I

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Speaker 5: don't know, I just felt like I accepted whatever was going.

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Speaker 3: Down, and also the idea that she's finally at peace,

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Speaker 3: right and on some new adventure, and and I mean,

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Speaker 3: I know you're probably spiritual, right.

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Speaker 1: I gathered that from your writing.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that's the other thing is that I like,

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Speaker 5: through these things that have happened, I think I've I've

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Speaker 5: chosen to look at death in a way that feels

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Speaker 5: I don't know, truthful, like the most like from my experiences,

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Speaker 5: I guess through loss and through grief and stuff, I

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Speaker 5: guess I've chosen that I like to look at it

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Speaker 5: is more of like a wonder of life as opposed

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Speaker 5: to like the end. So I think that I try

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Speaker 5: to apply that because we have, you know, no idea,

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Speaker 5: So I like to live in the the wonder of

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Speaker 5: it instead.

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Speaker 3: Of the I like people who talk about that they

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Speaker 3: had the idea that they do know what's going to happen.

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Speaker 3: It's or that when people say something like drowning is

333
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Speaker 3: the most peaceful way to die, You're.

334
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Speaker 1: Like, who told you that?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

336
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Speaker 1: Who told you that?

337
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Speaker 4: How worstnight?

338
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Speaker 3: No shit, I'm like, that is the worst possible scenario.

339
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Speaker 3: What do you feel a responsibility? I'm sure you do,

340
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Speaker 3: but how do how does this work in your life

341
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Speaker 3: with your younger sisters?

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Speaker 1: How old are they?

343
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Speaker 4: They're sixteen?

344
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so you're like, are you like a mama

345
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Speaker 1: bear to them?

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Speaker 5: I think so, you know, they're I'm not their mom,

347
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Speaker 5: but I am. I am their older sister, and I

348
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Speaker 5: think that I've you know, spent a lot of my life.

349
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Speaker 5: I'm twenty years older than them, so it feels more

350
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Speaker 5: like an aunt or a mother kind of relationship than

351
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Speaker 5: I don't know. The other day, one of them said,

352
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Speaker 5: you feel like you're my age. I was like, oh, thanks,

353
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Speaker 5: but I yeah, it's definitely more like a you know,

354
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Speaker 5: I'm much older.

355
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Speaker 4: So it does have that sort of dynamic.

356
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Speaker 3: And do you feel a sense of responsibility to continue

357
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,960
Speaker 3: your mom's spirit with your sisters and to like carry

358
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Speaker 3: on the traditions that she gave you guys and talk

359
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Speaker 3: to rely.

360
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Speaker 5: Yeah, I definitely, And they do too. You know, they

361
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,240
Speaker 5: want to, like they want to, you know, honor her

362
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Speaker 5: and do things.

363
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Speaker 4: She did and stuff.

364
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Speaker 5: I don't push them in any direction, but I kind

365
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,880
Speaker 5: of see what indicates to them and then follow their

366
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:32,480
Speaker 5: lead in that.

367
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Speaker 3: It's funny when I read about your dad and your mom.

368
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:38,440
Speaker 3: They both have such huge personalities. You could see that.

369
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,400
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying you don't have a huge personality.

370
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Speaker 3: I'm just saying when you come from two people with

371
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Speaker 3: a huge with two big personalities like that, how do

372
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 3: you find your way? Because you're an artist too.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that my dad is actually probably more

374
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,440
Speaker 5: similar to me. Like I would say that I'm actually

375
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Speaker 5: I would say I'm an introvert, and I would say

376
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Speaker 5: my dad is as well. I think that through like

377
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,880
Speaker 5: film and having to be in this world, I can

378
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:07,119
Speaker 5: be extroverted, but but naturally, like I am more of

379
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 5: an introvert, and not in a sort of like shy way,

380
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 5: but just in a quiet way. I don't know if

381
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,639
Speaker 5: that has to do with my mom being so large

382
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 5: or not, but yeah, I I've thought about that before

383
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,600
Speaker 5: because she was such a you know, presence, but I

384
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,800
Speaker 5: don't really think so. I think that it's maybe just

385
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:25,960
Speaker 5: my personality.

386
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Speaker 4: Were you were you or lack there of?

387
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 1: Were you were you nervous when you sang for a

388
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 1: Daisy and the sixth? No you were it?

389
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:36,879
Speaker 4: I wasn't because I don't know.

390
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,679
Speaker 5: I think like I have like something wrong with me

391
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,320
Speaker 5: where I I like don't get nervous really really yeah,

392
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 5: I know, I don't know why. I just I think

393
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,959
Speaker 5: it's like I have a sense of humor. Maybe do

394
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,520
Speaker 5: you have fears? Oh yeah, okay, I have fears.

395
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,080
Speaker 3: Because I was gonna say that's usually when you have

396
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 3: no fear, that means something.

397
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Speaker 1: It's like you're a mag dela. You don't have a.

398
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 5: You know, I'm like a total like neurotic out person.

399
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 5: But it's it's like about you know, my hypochondriac like

400
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:07,440
Speaker 5: it's other things.

401
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:08,720
Speaker 4: But I don't know.

402
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,000
Speaker 5: I think I just like if I fail at something

403
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,920
Speaker 5: like this, or if I was to try to sing

404
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 5: and I couldn't do it, I just I don't know.

405
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,200
Speaker 5: I just didn't take it very seriously.

406
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 3: I guess that's refreshing seriously. I mean, especially in this industry,

407
00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 3: a lot of people are very self serious.

408
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,400
Speaker 4: Yes I know, I'm very not self serious.

409
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 1: Okay.

410
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,720
Speaker 3: So you spend a lot of time at Neverland and

411
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,360
Speaker 3: on top of Graceland, which Oprah mentioned, She's like, this

412
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,439
Speaker 3: is the only woman that's lived in Graceland and Neverland. Well,

413
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,639
Speaker 3: how do you view like Michael Jackson and your experience

414
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 3: with him?

415
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 5: My experience with Michael was obviously like through a six

416
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,640
Speaker 5: year old me's lens, So it was like very fun

417
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 5: and larger than life, and you know, all the things

418
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 5: that we would do together were always like big events.

419
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:56,919
Speaker 5: So it was just like my memory of it was

420
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 5: just everything was fun all the time. But my life

421
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 5: was kind of like that, Like our life was kind

422
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:04,240
Speaker 5: of nuts, you know, in comparison to my life now,

423
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 5: which is very small and kind of normal.

424
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Speaker 7: You know.

425
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 5: So I think Michael and my mom both enjoyed creating

426
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 5: these extravagant scenarios.

427
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 4: So that was kind of my experience, right.

428
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 3: But with the impact of everything that we found out

429
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 3: about Michael Jackson and all the allegations, like did that

430
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,959
Speaker 3: have an impact on your view of the situation.

431
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 4: Of their marriage?

432
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 3: Of their marriage and just yeah, like did, I mean

433
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 3: you must have been like are these things true right

434
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 3: about him?

435
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 6: Yeah?

436
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:36,400
Speaker 4: I think that.

437
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 5: I mean at the time, I wasn't aware of the case,

438
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 5: and it just became something that was just sort of around,

439
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,400
Speaker 5: Like there was never a conversation about it. I'm sure

440
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 5: my mom would have had those conversations at the time

441
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 5: with other people, but for me, it was just this

442
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 5: thing that I guess I ended up just kind of

443
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 5: knowing about But I never, like, there was never a

444
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 5: conversation with my mom where she kind of sat me

445
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 5: down and went like, so, you know, right, it was

446
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:07,000
Speaker 5: this allegation, you know, but by the time that that

447
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 5: was in my world, I was much older and Michael

448
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 5: wasn't really right in my universe.

449
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,680
Speaker 3: Well, when I was reading, I mean, I was surprised

450
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 3: by what she was divulging in this book about being

451
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 3: married to Michael Jackson, I was like, Oh, I didn't

452
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,199
Speaker 3: you know, as an outsider, you looked at that.

453
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 1: You didn't know that that was real.

454
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,239
Speaker 3: You didn't know that they had chemistry, that they had

455
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 3: an intimate relationship per se as an outsider. So I

456
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:32,080
Speaker 3: was like, oh wow, I found that fascinating. Yeah, so

457
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 3: this is a nice scientology success story, right. It was

458
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 3: nice that, like I've heard so many negative things about scientology,

459
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 3: it was kind of nice to hear your mother them

460
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,919
Speaker 3: helping her get sober and ever and wanting to be

461
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 3: there and that was.

462
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: The place she felt safest for a long time.

463
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I think it was like the way

464
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 5: she would talk about it when she was here was

465
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 5: very funny. Like I don't know if the tone comes

466
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 5: across in the book, but it was kind of like

467
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 5: nobody would take care of her. But you know, so

468
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 5: I think she felt this sense of like community and

469
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 5: really cared for when she was a teenager, and I

470
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,880
Speaker 5: think she was you know, self proclaimed, like very difficult.

471
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 5: So I think that, you know, that was her experience.

472
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 1: And then did she she ended up leaving scientology at

473
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 1: a certain point.

474
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 5: Right, yeah, Well, she she like I think the way

475
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 5: I phrased it was like I don't know if it

476
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 5: was a chicken or the egg kind of a situation,

477
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 5: but she basically when she started taking opiates, she kind

478
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 5: of up and left like her whole life and moved

479
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 5: to England and fired everyone in her life and left

480
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 5: her religion and her life and her friends and just

481
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 5: moved to England and wanted.

482
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 4: Like to totally start over.

483
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 5: And at the time, I wasn't aware that there was

484
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 5: like a substance abuse issue, so it just sort of

485
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 5: to a lot of people around just felt like this random,

486
00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 5: really intense cleansing cleansing of people and things, and nobody

487
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 5: really understood what was going on. And then she got

488
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 5: to England and then the sort of pills progressed, so

489
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 5: it wasn't so much her leaving scientology. She kind of

490
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 5: just like left her life a bit like it was

491
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 5: an escape from everything.

492
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 1: What's your relationship with drugs and alcohol?

493
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 3: I would be so scared, if you know, like I mean,

494
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 3: maybe not scared, mindful, Yeah, right, Yeah.

495
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 5: I think that I've never had like addiction issues. I've

496
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,479
Speaker 5: smoked cigarettes for a really long time and that was

497
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:41,120
Speaker 5: hard for me to quit. But I never like had

498
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 5: a sense that I had like a dependency on drugs

499
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 5: or alcohol for whatever reason. I have no idea because

500
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 5: my entire family or addicts, but it just, yeah, I

501
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 5: think that there's like a fear there that it can

502
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 5: I think the reason why I think there's a fear

503
00:22:55,080 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 5: is because my mom's addiction was to me felt random.

504
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 5: So it felt like this like kind of scary thing

505
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 5: that came out of nowhere.

506
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 4: But I don't I.

507
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 5: Don't foresee that, but I do have this sort of

508
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 5: like fear around how it's sort of I don't know,

509
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 5: I don't know what the fear is, but there is

510
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 5: this yeah, but I don't know. I also just like

511
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 5: I don't really like drinking, So I think that's well.

512
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,760
Speaker 1: There you go, right, that's going to be helpful.

513
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, and I think I think some

514
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 3: people have that personality and some people don't. Yeah, And

515
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 3: if you're in that kind of pain for that long amount,

516
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: you know, for that period of time, And it was

517
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 3: clear from reading this book that she was never getting

518
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: over her her father dying, which why would you you know,

519
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 3: a nine year old doesn't know how to digest that,

520
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 3: and then that hits you.

521
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: Usually at forty.

522
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 3: Like I lost my brother when I was nine, and

523
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 3: I went into deep deep therapy at forty because everything

524
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 3: turned And like I can, I totally understand why it

525
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 3: would creep up on her at that age, because you're

526
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 3: suppressing and repressing for as long as possible, right, and

527
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 3: escaping and all all of the other stuff. Okay, on

528
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:02,919
Speaker 3: that note, we're going to take a break and we'll

529
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 3: be right back with Riley Keo.

530
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: Okay, and we're back, and.

531
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 3: We're gonna take some callers some questions for the rest

532
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 3: of the episode. We sure are, and we're gonna give advice.

533
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 3: You know, feel free to let it.

534
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: LL try my best.

535
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 3: I'm sure that you have very good advice that you

536
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 3: don't even know about yet.

537
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:28,159
Speaker 2: Well, our first question, yes, oh, Okay, thank you, thank you.

538
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: I'm going to use this for the first you guys.

539
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 3: You guys have flirting right now, this sexual what's happening here?

540
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 3: They're married, by the way.

541
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 4: Yes I knew this.

542
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 2: Our first question the subject is family secrets, and this

543
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 2: comes from Jay Oh. Perfect Ja says, Dear Chelsea. I

544
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 2: come from a large Catholic family and grew up with

545
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 2: sixteen cousins on one side, the side that the secret involves.

546
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: My grandparents had seven kids. I was the grandchild whose

547
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,719
Speaker 2: parents had me when they were young and never married.

548
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,959
Speaker 2: My mom's no longer in the picture. When my parents day,

549
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 2: they hung out with his brother who was closest in

550
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 2: age to him and his then girlfriend, my aunt. This

551
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 2: was around the end of the seventies, and when I

552
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: was a kid, my mom told me that as teenagers

553
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 2: that aunt and uncle got pregnant and had a baby.

554
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: Anyways, my aunt, aunt and uncle, the brother and sister.

555
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 2: No, no, no, sorry, So this is such a brother family.

556
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: This is a lot of these are a lot of characters.

557
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: There's black of my brother after sixteen, I.

558
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 2: Was yeah, so her it's her dad's brother who was

559
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 2: closest in age That aunt and uncle, so his girlfriend,

560
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 2: and this is just an aunt and uncle one.

561
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: Of the okay, one of the okay.

562
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 2: When I was a kid, they got pregnant and had

563
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 2: a baby. My aunt was of course moved to wherever

564
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 2: for nine months for secrecy, and the baby was given

565
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 2: up for adoption quietly. Yes, my uncle knew, and my

566
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,719
Speaker 2: mom knew because they were friends, but my grandparents didn't know.

567
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 2: Nobody knew until my mom told me. My aunt and

568
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 2: my uncle got married and have three other children together,

569
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 2: So the oldest male cousin is not actually their oldest.

570
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 2: Fast forward to about three years ago when I was

571
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 2: talking with my aunt. I was tipsy and I told

572
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 2: her that I knew about her first child, this child,

573
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 2: this child was a boy and would actually be the

574
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 2: oldest cousin. She was an obvious disbelief, but told me

575
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 2: they're still keeping the secret from their three other adult children.

576
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: My aunt has met the son that they gave up.

577
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 2: He came to a church function and sat in the

578
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 2: back and saw his parents and siblings from afar. I

579
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 2: want to tell them so badly. Their other kids, the

580
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,199
Speaker 2: aunt and uncle are in their thirties and forties, and

581
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 2: I'm bursting at the seams that I'm the only other

582
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 2: person that knows this. Do I blow up my family

583
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 2: and tell them or just shut the fuck up. I'll

584
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 2: add that these three cousins of mine are super great people.

585
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 2: They have spouses and kids of their own, and this

586
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,640
Speaker 2: is just so aft up. Thanks, Jay, I would keep.

587
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 3: That to yourself. It's not your place at all. In

588
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 3: my opinion, you do not want to be This is

589
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,719
Speaker 3: not your secret to tell your mother. For telling her,

590
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 3: her mother told her she's that big thumbs down. It's

591
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 3: not your first These aren't your brothers and sisters.

592
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,919
Speaker 1: This isn't your nuclear family.

593
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: I know they're your relatives, but yeah, mind your own

594
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 3: business here, that's not your secret to tell.

595
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: What do you think?

596
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 4: I think I agree with you.

597
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 5: I've had some things like this in my family, and

598
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 5: I think that it is best to not you know,

599
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 5: I think unless it's a I don't know. I guess

600
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 5: it depends on what your intention is. I think if

601
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 5: it'll cause a lot of hurt, then maybe.

602
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 3: It's yeah, Well, you can have a good intention and

603
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 3: it can still cause a lot of hurt, right, like you,

604
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 3: it's not it's just it's like, it's not your information

605
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: to share. And unfortunately you know about it, so that's

606
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 3: your I mean, that's yeah. No, I don't think it's

607
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 3: your information to share.

608
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's really it feels like it's just the

609
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 2: three cousins that are her ageish that don't that are

610
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 2: the important ones that don't know. You know, it's not

611
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 2: like revealing an affair or anything like that.

612
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you don't have.

613
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 3: Any sense of responsibility, Like again, it's not it's not

614
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 3: your thing. And I mean I found out that I

615
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 3: had a brother. My brothers and sisters found out that

616
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 3: I had a brother. We had a brother, and I

617
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 3: had absolutely no interest in pursuing that relationship. But I

618
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 3: have already enough brothers and sisters, Like I didn't want

619
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 3: to know that, you know what I mean.

620
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: So don't assume that you like what other people are

621
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 1: gonna want either.

622
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:19,159
Speaker 4: That's true.

623
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 3: So yeah, I would keep that to yourself and just

624
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 3: try to forget that you even know that information?

625
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 2: Would you even? I mean, is there any world in

626
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 2: which you'd encourage like the aunt to reach out or

627
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 2: where you would reach out, like if you're this person

628
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:32,880
Speaker 2: who's bursting out the same.

629
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 3: Not to reach out, it's not her situation. Yeah, No,

630
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 3: she's just accidentally found. It's like finding hearing overhearing a conversation.

631
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 3: Pretend you overheard it and it's none of your business.

632
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 3: That's what I would say, So, yeah, keep your mouth shut.

633
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 2: All right, Jay, there you have it.

634
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: It's encouraging to know that's happening to other families.

635
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 3: But I would suspect that's exactly right, especially with famous people,

636
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 3: people coming out of the woodwork left and right.

637
00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 4: The amount of cousins and I'm siblings and.

638
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: Yeah that, oh yeah, I'm sure.

639
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 3: Well, luckily now they have DNA testing, so you can

640
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 3: actually be sure.

641
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: Luckily or unluckily. Yeah, right, yes, exactly all right, Well,

642
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 2: Chris says, dear Chelsea, I was lucky to have the

643
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 2: opportunity to bring two little boys into the world for

644
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 2: another family as their surrogate. I know that sounds like

645
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 2: your worst nightmare. The first surrogacy journey had a few hiccups,

646
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 2: with the mom being a bit controlling, sending glass bottled

647
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 2: water because our water wasn't suitable. Is this the surrogate

648
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: talking yes, organic fruits and vegetables because she didn't think

649
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 2: the organic produce I purchased was good enough. But I

650
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 2: chalked it up to her not being able to carry,

651
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 2: so she wanted to be involved anyway she could. They

652
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 2: asked me to carry their second embryo, and the pregnancy

653
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 2: started out a bit different. They were very consumed with

654
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 2: baby number one, and I get it because my wife

655
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: and I have two very active kids on our own.

656
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: I'd have to reach out to let them know that

657
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 2: my OBI appointments went well, or that the ultrasound looked fine,

658
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 2: asked about the baby or me. The family is extremely

659
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 2: well off, and I felt like I was just someone

660
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: on their staff rather than a close friend like I

661
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: felt with the first baby. At twenty eight weeks, I

662
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 2: was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and that's when things started

663
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 2: to go south. The mom was on me about my

664
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 2: diet and exercise, even though the dietician she hired confirms

665
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,800
Speaker 2: that my diet was perfect and I was doing everything

666
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 2: I could to ensure her babies and my health. At

667
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: thirty seven weeks, I needed an emergency induction. The parents

668
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 2: live out of state, and the mom actually tried to

669
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 2: negotiate my care with my doctor to delay the induction

670
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 2: so she could have skin to skin with her baby

671
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: when he was born. While I was on the brink

672
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 2: of organ failure and in labor. They made it to

673
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 2: the hospital with ninety minutes to spare and she got

674
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 2: to do skin to skin with her perfect seven pound baby.

675
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 2: I experienced lots of blood loss and had an extended

676
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 2: hospital stay, but still managed to kickstart my milk production

677
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 2: for their baby. The icing on the cake was when

678
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 2: they were saying goodbye, they didn't even say thank you.

679
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: I was the one who thanked them for the opportunity

680
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: to be part of creating their family. In the days

681
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 2: and weeks after, I struggled with all of the trauma

682
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 2: around the pregnancy and delivery. So my question is do

683
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 2: I confront her about this experience. I'll be done pumping

684
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 2: soon and would like some closure, But is it worth

685
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: it to let her know how she made me feel?

686
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 2: Or do I just let it go and move on

687
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, I achieved what

688
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: I set out to do, helped create a family for

689
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 2: someone who could not.

690
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 7: Thanks for your help, Chris Well.

691
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: Hi, Hi, this is our special guest Riley Kio.

692
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 2: Hello.

693
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: Wow, that sounds really will traumatizing.

694
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it was like part of me is just

695
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 6: like am I being so trivial that like, I don't know,

696
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 6: I should just like move on and get past it

697
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 6: because I did what I set out to do. But

698
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 6: I still get triggered for little things, So I don't know.

699
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 3: I think you have every right to speak your mind

700
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 3: and doesn't have to be in an angry way. Like

701
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 3: I think probably putting into writing is the best way

702
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 3: when you are ready and when you are done rest

703
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 3: fee and providing the baby with whatever things. I mean,

704
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 3: you did finish your quote unquote job and set of responsibilities,

705
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 3: but I think it is cathartic to let someone know

706
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,959
Speaker 3: that you felt not you know, not looked after or

707
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 3: taken care of them, not saying thank you. All of

708
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 3: the things that you're talking about. Those are real things

709
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 3: and they're very hurtful, and I definitely don't think you

710
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 3: should just suck it up. I think it's important to

711
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 3: state your peace in a loving kind way when someone

712
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 3: has kind of crossed a line or a boundary or

713
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 3: taken advantage of you and not and not showing you

714
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 3: respect and grace doing something that is the most invaluable

715
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 3: thing you could possibly do for another person, which is

716
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 3: carry their child.

717
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 7: I just felt like it was such a disconnect from

718
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 7: like the first pregnancy to the second pregnancy, and like

719
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 7: I something like switched and I was just like this

720
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 7: employee of theirs.

721
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 4: I don't know.

722
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I wouldn't.

723
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 3: I understand what you're saying, but I wouldn't focus it

724
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 3: on that aspect, like your relationship changed. You should just

725
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 3: focus on what didn't feel good, you know what I mean?

726
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 3: Because I think there's a sense saying our relationship changed

727
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 3: is almost like you have expectations, which you totally can have,

728
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 3: but you are doing them a service. You are providing

729
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 3: them a service, right, they're paying you to provide them

730
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 3: a service. That doesn't mean they should be allowed to

731
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 3: treat you anyway they want. But I wouldn't start from

732
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 3: that angle because it's like, it's not a relationship.

733
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,719
Speaker 1: It is a service.

734
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 3: It's a transaction and that's what you were hired to do,

735
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 3: So expecting more of a friendship is almost I don't

736
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 3: think that's where you jump off of, you know, I

737
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 3: think you have to really just voice what they did

738
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 3: that felt so icky to you, Like this felt really bad.

739
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 3: I really was so looking forward to providing this for

740
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 3: you again, and we had such a great experience the

741
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 3: first time, you know, you could mention that this didn't

742
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 3: feel great for me, then I definitely didn't feel like,

743
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 3: you know, you cared about my well being or however

744
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 3: you want to phrase everything that happened to you. But

745
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 3: you should definitely get that down, not only for the

746
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 3: you know, to send to her, if you decide.

747
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: To do that for yourself. Yeah, okay, I mean, how

748
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: do you feel about it now that it's in the past.

749
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 2: I don't know.

750
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,240
Speaker 6: I'm the I almost kind of like I do feel

751
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 6: like I need to address it.

752
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 7: It was very much swept under the rug.

753
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 6: It was just like, Okay, they got what they wanted

754
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 6: and then okay, and I'm like literally shaking in the hospital.

755
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,839
Speaker 7: Then as they're like they as skating in the glow,

756
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 7: there's sweet, perfect baby, and I just like, as.

757
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 6: A mom, I'm a mom and I have children, and

758
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,919
Speaker 6: like for her to just disregard that aspect. I think

759
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 6: that is the most like the thing that's like eating

760
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 6: at me the most.

761
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 7: But now I.

762
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 6: Feel like if I I could write her a letter,

763
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 6: I feel like that's probably a really good.

764
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, and not in an accusatory way, just in way

765
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 3: that you felt so sidelined and marginalized and all of

766
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 3: the things that you're talking about, like that didn't feel

767
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 3: good at all. I wanted to do this out of like,

768
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 3: you know, like this is something that means a lot

769
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,799
Speaker 3: for me to do it for you, and this is

770
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 3: how you It left me feeling.

771
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:19,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think?

772
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 2: Riley?

773
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 5: I agree. I Actually my child was born via surrogate,

774
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:29,879
Speaker 5: so that's so I'm very grateful for what you do.

775
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 5: And I think that it's really important that it's of

776
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,879
Speaker 5: course it's transactional and it's a job, but I think

777
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 5: that it's a big sacrifice on your body and your

778
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 5: mind and your family, and I think that it's not

779
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 5: just like somebody who's coming to you know, clean your.

780
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 4: House or you know.

781
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 5: So I think it's I think it is important to

782
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 5: to communicate that in my opinion.

783
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.

784
00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 8: Yeah.

785
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: Are you finding that you're having these thought that's like

786
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: the anger and the you know, troublesome thoughts that you're having.

787
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: Are they coming up at various points during the day.

788
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 2: Are you sort of ruminating on them?

789
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 6: So it's like when I'm driving to work and like

790
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 6: my mind is wandering, or like I'm shipping milk to them,

791
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 6: Like when I go drop off milk, I like replay

792
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 6: everything all over again.

793
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when it's happening. Yeah, you might, as you're

794
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: writing this letter, when these thoughts come up, drop them

795
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 2: down in like a notes app, jot down these things

796
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 2: as they're coming up for you, because it helps to

797
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 2: just sort of get it out of your body, get

798
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 2: it out of your mind, and then you'll sort of

799
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 2: have all of the talking points that you want to

800
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 2: address when you go to write the letter to her,

801
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: and then you can kind of just pick and choose, like, Okay,

802
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 2: this note I wrote in a moment of anger, this

803
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 2: note is like maybe the best version of myself or

804
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: like this particular part of it, and kind of choosing

805
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 2: the best version of how you want to express yourself.

806
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: But you'll have everything sort of like over time, dumped

807
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,280
Speaker 2: into one place, so you can tackle that letter from

808
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,479
Speaker 2: a place of you know, respect for yourself as well.

809
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 7: Okay, no, that's good, that's good.

810
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 3: Thank you, And with every negative thought you have in

811
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 3: terms of like seeing this out of your own body

812
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 3: and stuff, so that you are able to let go

813
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 3: and be free of it every time you have these

814
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 3: thought patterns.

815
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,760
Speaker 1: I want you to also have an opposite thought.

816
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 3: You know, whatever your negative thought is, match it with

817
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 3: an opposing viewpoint, like, oh, but I was able to

818
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 3: provide them with this child. I was able to provide

819
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 3: them with something that they couldn't do for themselves. Make

820
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 3: sure you're reminding yourself of the honorable.

821
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: Thing that you did.

822
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 3: That is beautiful and like, so, you know, it's the

823
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 3: most important thing you could do for somebody, and I

824
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 3: can't think of anything more important to provide. So to

825
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 3: start just getting it out of your body, because you

826
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 3: don't want to be angry and hold on to that anger,

827
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 3: you know, And you might write that letter and then realize, like,

828
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 3: I don't even need to send this.

829
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you do need to, then you should.

830
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, okay, okay, that's good. I like that reminding myself

831
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 7: the awesomeness.

832
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,280
Speaker 1: Would you be a surrogate again for anyone else?

833
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 7: So I'm forty, I'm so old.

834
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 3: That's when you have your midlife crisis. When you're forty,

835
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 3: you have moretal That's what's happening. That's a part of it.

836
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 3: We were just talking about turning forty and what that

837
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 3: does to your brain.

838
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I can't. Actually, my doctor would she'd be like, no,

839
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 6: you can't. She told me you cannot have any more kids. Yeah,

840
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 6: especially for anybody else.

841
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's wonderful that you did that. So patch

842
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 3: yourself on the back over and over again.

843
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 2: And I think in lieu of reframing too, you could

844
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 2: also think, you know, I did this for this family,

845
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 2: but I did it for this child, you know, so

846
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 2: even you know, forget the parents, you did it for

847
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 2: this child, and that's really cool.

848
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, you built, you built a little house

849
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 3: for a baby.

850
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did you babies?

851
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 3: Oh, babies, that's right, that's right, right, Yeah, all right, okay,

852
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 3: thank you.

853
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, take care all right, bye guys bye.

854
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 3: When you hire a surrogate, yeah, do you go through

855
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:00,720
Speaker 3: Do you interview lot of people?

856
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 1: You do?

857
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 4: I think everybody's different.

858
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 5: I personally interviewed or I looked at like three different

859
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 5: families because you kind of talked to the surrogate and

860
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 5: also their partner if they're in a relationship too, And

861
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 5: we use like an agency. So they also put the

862
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 5: candidate forward that they thought was the strongest, and that

863
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 5: was kind of the one we were leaning towards. But yeah,

864
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,399
Speaker 5: there were like three or four different surrogates.

865
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:33,760
Speaker 3: And I'm curious as like, you know, with your whole history,

866
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,240
Speaker 3: how do you feel about being a mom?

867
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: Like your family is so mom heavy.

868
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:44,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, all of your girl experiences, you know, and generations.

869
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 4: I mean, it's a wild experience.

870
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,439
Speaker 5: There's definitely a lot of I think it was very

871
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 5: unique to lose my mom when my daughter was five

872
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 5: months old. You know, I think that having a young

873
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 5: child when you're in grief for your own mother's like

874
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 5: because I think I think your own mothering comes up

875
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 5: a lot regardless, because you when you have a child,

876
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 5: you start reflecting on the way you were parented and

877
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 5: the way you were mothered, and so that was already happening,

878
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 5: and then so losing her at that time was it

879
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 5: was a very strange time. And I think that the

880
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,919
Speaker 5: hardest thing was I felt like my mother was such

881
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,759
Speaker 5: a great mother, and she was exceptionally great with babies,

882
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 5: like with infants. So I felt like very alone, you know,

883
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 5: but this really beautiful thing started happening where I could

884
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 5: kind of like her instinct was so loud that I

885
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 5: could hear her and when I needed help, I really

886
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 5: felt like I could hear her voice in what she

887
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 5: would want or you know, like, my daughter was really

888
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 5: sick about a year ago, and I was kind of

889
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 5: panicking about it, and I could kind of hear her going,

890
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 5: you know, like one hundred and ones not bad, one

891
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 5: hundred and twos, you know, one hundred and three go

892
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 5: to the dog, could like hear her, boy. It was

893
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 5: very strange. So it's it's definitely been like an emotional thing.

894
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 5: And I think I think that I personally have so

895
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 5: much attention on parenting and wanting to be and I

896
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 5: don't know if that's this generation, because like you go

897
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 5: on Instagram and it's ten things not to say to

898
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 5: your kids, or maybe.

899
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 4: That's just my algorithms.

900
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,919
Speaker 5: Probably my algorithm, but it's very like there's so much

901
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 5: therapizing and advice and things not to.

902
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 4: Do that it's very overwhelming.

903
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 3: I just read this thing today on Instagram on my

904
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,879
Speaker 3: plane ride that was like, you know, when someone's having

905
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 3: an anxiety attack, the don't say everything's going to be okay.

906
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 4: I'm like, this stuff with kids is crazy.

907
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 5: It's like, Oh, don't tell them yes, don't tell them no,

908
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:43,879
Speaker 5: don't tell them you know they're doing a good job.

909
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 4: Don't tell them they're doing a bad job.

910
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,439
Speaker 5: Don't tell don't look at them, you know, and it's

911
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 5: like really overwhelming.

912
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 4: So I I, you know, I don't.

913
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 5: I think I try and go by instinct, but it's

914
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 5: I think it's something I really don't want to do

915
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 5: a bad job at to the point of like obsession.

916
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,760
Speaker 3: And yeah, you know, but it's also such a gift

917
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 3: to be able to sit here and say, as an

918
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,919
Speaker 3: adult woman, I had such a good mother.

919
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 1: Yes, do you know?

920
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 5: Like that is a gift I know and through and

921
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 5: you know, she certainly was not like a I don't

922
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 5: know what a perfect mother is.

923
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 1: She wasn't a traditional she was a.

924
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 5: Traditional mother by any means.

925
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 4: But I am so grateful to have had her as

926
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 4: I had that kind of love.

927
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: And I know that's you know, well, there's a really

928
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,320
Speaker 2: beautiful passage in the book where you talk about almost

929
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,439
Speaker 2: like channeling her where you realize you're singing the same

930
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 2: songs that she sung to you and using the same

931
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 2: little cute voice that she used with you with your

932
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 2: own daughter. And I think that sort of like family

933
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 2: like channeling through ourselves our ancestors is like kind of unstoppable.

934
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wish there was more language around that, you know,

935
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 3: because you touch on that a lot in the book,

936
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 3: like this kind of intergenerational knowing, like you come from this.

937
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 1: Huge legendary person who.

938
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 3: You feel like you did know because of the closeness

939
00:42:58,719 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 3: of your family.

940
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: And I wish there was more language because we are

941
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 1: our answers.

942
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 3: We are living with the trauma with all of the

943
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 3: whether it's addiction or whether it's other genetic makeups, like

944
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 3: we are carrying on what our ancestors have been through,

945
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 3: you know.

946
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: And we don't talk about it enough.

947
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 3: Now we have like sprinkling you know, conversations about it

948
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 3: where people touch upon it like oh, okay, it makes

949
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 3: sense that if you're you know, no one in your

950
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 3: family swam, or you know that every that you're scared

951
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 3: of water, or if something terrible happened to one of

952
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 3: your ancestors and they had a drowning, that you could

953
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 3: have that reaction to water. And it's like, there's that

954
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 3: conversation needs to be opened up more.

955
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely.

956
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, our last question today comes from Stanley and

957
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 2: he's going to be joining us family. I'm like, there's

958
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 2: It took me a second, but then you know, so

959
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 2: as Fance is not a woman, so we don't have

960
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 2: any straight men listening to Arst Dear Chelsea, My fiance

961
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 2: and I have been together for eleven years and are

962
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,399
Speaker 2: finally getting married in September next year, but there's one

963
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 2: small issue. One of my grooms men is an alcoholic.

964
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 2: We became best friends while bartending together and currently run

965
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 2: two separate bars for the same company. When he's sober,

966
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 2: he's amazing, great conversationalist, amazing friend, and an all around

967
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 2: fun person to be around. A few months ago, he

968
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 2: relapsed after four years of sobriety and has been drinking

969
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 2: on and off ever since. When he's drinking, he's loud, rude, obnoxious,

970
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 2: doesn't know where to stop, and sadly it only takes

971
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,359
Speaker 2: him a drink or two to get to that point.

972
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 2: Now that I've already asked him to be a groomsman,

973
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,800
Speaker 2: his return to drinking has put me in quite a dilemma.

974
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 2: I do not want the drunk version of him at

975
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 2: my wedding nor at my bachelor party, but I would

976
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 2: obviously love for him to be there. I should also

977
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 2: point out that both my fiance and maid of honor

978
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 2: already don't like him, so if he ends up drinking

979
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 2: at the wedding. There's definitely going to be a problem.

980
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 2: I do plan on telling him that he needs to

981
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 2: be sober at our wedding, but I also worry about

982
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,240
Speaker 2: him sneaking drinks or something. I don't need the stress

983
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 2: of babysitting a grown man at my wedding. How do

984
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 2: I go about having this discussion with him, especially since

985
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 2: he'll be the only person at the wedding with that restriction.

986
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 2: Thanks Stanley by Stanley.

987
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 9: Hi, how's it going?

988
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 6: Hi?

989
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 1: This is our special guest Riley Keo.

990
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 9: Hi, Nice to me too.

991
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: I think you have to say what what do you think?

992
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 5: I was just gonna say, and maybe this is the

993
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 5: wrong advice, but I have had a lot of addict.

994
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 4: Experience in my life.

995
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 5: But I think what's hard is like probably not having

996
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 5: him there would probably be sad, right, yeah, yeah.

997
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 4: Long term.

998
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 5: So I was thinking, you definitely need to anticipate that

999
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,439
Speaker 5: he will get drunk, and maybe you need to get

1000
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 5: him like some kind of designated babysitter for the night.

1001
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 2: That's not a bad idea.

1002
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 10: Actually, one of my I don't know what we're gonna

1003
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 10: call it, but she's in my wedding party too. She

1004
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 10: already offered to be that too, because I talked to

1005
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 10: her about it as well. You know, she's like, I

1006
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 10: don't care making sure there's no problems at your wedding.

1007
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 5: I think where I've always gotten caught up is expecting

1008
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 5: it not to be that, and then it ends up

1009
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 5: they end up doing the thing.

1010
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 3: Even if you have a conversation, even with the Okay, yeah,

1011
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 3: I hear what you're saying, because if it's it, but

1012
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 3: you said sometimes he doesn't drink.

1013
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,919
Speaker 9: Right, yeah, he goes off and on. He's I think

1014
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,399
Speaker 9: right now, he's not right.

1015
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 3: So maybe what you do is you have this conversation

1016
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 3: with him in the most loving way possible, Like this

1017
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,360
Speaker 3: is such an important day for me. I'm so honored

1018
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 3: that you're going to be part of it with me.

1019
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 3: I can't wait. I do have to ask you to

1020
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 3: not drink. I do have to just ask you just

1021
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 3: to put it out there so that he can you know,

1022
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 3: he may take that very seriously. And and then also

1023
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 3: as the backup plan, what Riley offered is to have

1024
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 3: that friend just be on the lookout, knowing that there's

1025
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 3: a good chance he might not be able to control

1026
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 3: himself and start drinking. But you might be surprised, you know,

1027
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 3: I mean you might he might be able to get

1028
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 3: through the wedding without it. The bachelor party is another situation.

1029
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 3: I think that's a little bit even more difficult to

1030
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 3: not drink at. But but I would just really tell him, like,

1031
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 3: this is so important for me, and you know that

1032
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 3: you when you drink, you're not the best version of yourself.

1033
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 3: And I need you to respect that this is my

1034
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 3: day and to be there in the way that I

1035
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 3: need you to be there.

1036
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 1: And if you can't commit to that, then that's okay.

1037
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 3: Just let me know and let me know and figure

1038
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 3: something out, like give him the option to commit and

1039
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 3: make that promise to you. I wouldn't say the bachelor

1040
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 3: party and the wedding.

1041
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,240
Speaker 1: I feel like that's too big of ail to climb.

1042
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 3: I don't know, do you need his presence at the

1043
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 3: bachelor party. I guess if he's a groomsman, right.

1044
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 10: I mean, I was honestly just thinking about earlier today,

1045
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 10: like I wouldn't be mad. I mean, and I have

1046
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 10: been to parties with him where he was sober and

1047
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 10: he was fine, he was, you know, playing all the

1048
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 10: games with everybody, and I just ripping soda water. But yeah,

1049
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 10: I also, like, I come from a family that has

1050
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 10: addiction issues, so like, I am totally up for people's boundaries.

1051
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 9: So if he, for that reason couldn't go, I would

1052
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 9: not be mad at all.

1053
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And and you can that's perfect.

1054
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 3: Then it's a trigger for you, you know, you come

1055
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,879
Speaker 3: from a family with addiction, and you don't just give

1056
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 3: him the option, like you're welcome to come to the

1057
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 3: bachelor party, and I do watch you at my wedding,

1058
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 3: but these are the conditions, and if you can't meet them,

1059
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,319
Speaker 3: no harm, no foul, Like I'll miss you, but it

1060
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 3: would be better for me to be able to enjoy

1061
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 3: my day and not worry about you drinking. You're a

1062
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 3: better version of yourself when you're sober. I understand you're struggling,

1063
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 3: but this is my request from you out of our friendship.

1064
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:23,280
Speaker 9: Yeah that's really good. That's really good advice.

1065
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 1: And I think that's a conversation you can have in person, right.

1066
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 9: Yeah, Yeah, I think so as well.

1067
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 10: Yeah, I don't get to see him too often, but

1068
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 10: I definitely, you know, especially working for the same people,

1069
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 10: we do get to see each other sometimes.

1070
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 9: That's something I could talk to him about. For sure.

1071
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1072
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 3: And then your friend, the one who volunteered, then just

1073
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 3: have her on it and if he does drink, you know,

1074
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 3: she can have him removed.

1075
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 9: She'd be totally fine with this. Y.

1076
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 3: Just that's covering all your bases. Yeah, and you listen,

1077
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 3: you might be surprised.

1078
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 9: Yeah. I honestly was talking to my therapist about it.

1079
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 10: She's like, he might, you know, just be sober already,

1080
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 10: and I'm like, that is, you know, best case scenario.

1081
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,280
Speaker 9: But he he could take to it really well.

1082
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1083
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's honest conversation, so there's nothing to be like.

1084
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 3: You know, it's nice that you're being so thoughtful about

1085
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 3: it as well.

1086
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 2: Yeah. And good to have like a bossy brides maid

1087
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 2: in your corner. I love that.

1088
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,799
Speaker 9: Yeah. Yeah, I got a couple of them, so that's good.

1089
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 1: That's good. We'll have a great wedding.

1090
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,879
Speaker 9: Congratulations, thank you, thank you so much.

1091
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 4: Congrat awesome.

1092
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 2: Thanks Stanley. Let us know how it goes, Okay.

1093
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 9: I will definitely thank you.

1094
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 3: Okay, we're going to take a break and then we'll

1095
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:35,760
Speaker 3: be right back to wrap up with Riley Keo. Okay,

1096
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,919
Speaker 3: and we're back with Riley Kyo. She's suffering from jet lag.

1097
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,360
Speaker 3: I'm suffering from my usual just day lag. I'm constantly tired,

1098
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:44,280
Speaker 3: always tired.

1099
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1100
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,359
Speaker 3: I was thinking about my schedule today and then I

1101
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 3: was like, why are you been thinking about it?

1102
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:51,760
Speaker 4: Just keep going today in your life.

1103
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 3: My life is I usually tour Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So

1104
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 3: I was in Houston, Dallas, Austin. I flew home today

1105
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 3: this morning and then and the rest of the week

1106
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 3: is crazy. So today I had a couple hours and

1107
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 3: then you were coming in the afternoon. So that was

1108
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 3: kind of nice because I could. I just went in

1109
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 3: my hyperbaric chamber, okay for two hours to read another

1110
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 3: book after I finished your book. And it just is constant,

1111
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 3: and I was thinking about it. I'm forty nine years old,

1112
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 3: and I've been doing this kind of pace since I

1113
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 3: was at least thirty when I started Chelsea.

1114
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: Lately, touring doing books.

1115
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 3: I'm always on a book tour or a stand up

1116
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 3: tour or did it. But I just realized, like that

1117
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 3: is who I am, you know, I'm high impact. And

1118
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 3: then I crash for two.

1119
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 5: Days and then I go, yeah, I think it's a

1120
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:40,359
Speaker 5: good thing. Yeah, I think it keeps you young.

1121
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it keeps you vibrant for sure, you know. Yeah,

1122
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 3: and yeah it's nice to be Like I like, I

1123
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 3: was thinking about it. I was like, oh, it's been

1124
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 3: like twenty years and I've twenty five years that I've

1125
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 3: been in this business, but twenty years of like hustling

1126
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,920
Speaker 3: like that, and I kind of love that about me, Like.

1127
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 1: I love that I'm still up for it, you know

1128
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, what's your schedule like in your life?

1129
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 4: I'm I'm oh, my gosh, it really depends.

1130
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 5: I think that similarly, like I will have moments where

1131
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 5: I'm working a lot, if I'm shooting a film, and

1132
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 5: then I'll go home and kind of hibernate, and then

1133
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 5: I'll go back out and then it's like high intensity

1134
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 5: and a home and like hide.

1135
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 4: It's like start of back and forth.

1136
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 1: Yeah and whatever. I'm always like I'm so tired. I

1137
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 1: think of Taylor Swift.

1138
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 8: Like, how is this maniac able to do this for

1139
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 8: three and a half hours, three nights in a row, dancing, singing, choreography, guitar.

1140
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 1: I just I'm like, what kind of energy is she?

1141
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 3: What?

1142
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: What energy boost is she on?

1143
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 4: I need that?

1144
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 3: So that's pretty impressive too. But it was a delight

1145
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 3: to meet you. This book is so beautiful. From here

1146
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 3: to the Great Unknown. What a gorgeous tribute for your mom.

1147
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 3: To your mom and following through and getting this done

1148
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:56,720
Speaker 3: for her. And it's also an Oprah's Book Club selection,

1149
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 3: so you know that's that's a good endorsement.

1150
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 1: How do you feel about everyone's reception of the book.

1151
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 5: I feel really grateful. I was very nervous to put

1152
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 5: the book out. It's really personal, especially the last few

1153
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 5: chapters are very intense, and I think there was a

1154
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,359
Speaker 5: world where I didn't include some things in there, but

1155
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,840
Speaker 5: then ultimately I thought about my mom and her honesty

1156
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 5: and what she would have done, and I think that

1157
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 5: she would have put everything that's in there in there,

1158
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:26,400
Speaker 5: and ultimately, like, of course there's some funny things in

1159
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 5: the news here and there, But people have been really receptive,

1160
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 5: and I think that particularly people who have lost family members,

1161
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 5: are in grief or dealt with addiction. I think it

1162
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 5: is connecting on a level that's human, despite the fact

1163
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 5: that it's like a super unique story, and so I

1164
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 5: think that that's been surprising.

1165
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 4: I guess I think I'm very used.

1166
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 5: To people feeling very far away, like sort of not

1167
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 5: perceiving my family to be human, I guess, and so

1168
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:58,959
Speaker 5: I feel like the responses have been very human, which

1169
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 5: I've really enjoyed.

1170
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's a power. Books are always powerful, you know.

1171
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 3: It's like it's nice to leave something in writing and

1172
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 3: let people kind of interpret it or reinterpret it and

1173
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 3: leave it out there rather than per se telling your story.

1174
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 3: It's it's like it's something more permanent.

1175
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. Yeah, So thank you for being here,

1176
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Yeah. Yeah, and good luck with everything.

1177
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 4: Thank you.

1178
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,880
Speaker 1: Can we see more of you and TV and everything.

1179
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:26,320
Speaker 4: Thanks.

1180
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll see you guys next week. Okay, guys.

1181
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:32,279
Speaker 3: Stand up shows that I have coming up, I am

1182
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 3: going to Des Moines, Iowa December fifth, December sixth is Omaha,

1183
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 3: and then December twenty eighth, I'm coming in New Orleans

1184
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 3: right before New Year's and then I'll be in Atlanta,

1185
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 3: Georgia on December twenty ninth. And those are the rest

1186
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:48,879
Speaker 3: of my stand up dates for this year. It's over

1187
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 3: New Tour New Year.

1188
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1189
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1190
00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1191
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine Law and

1192
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1193
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:09,399
Speaker 2: com