WEBVTT - T.I. and Tiny: Back from the Brink of Divorce (Part 2) 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.480 Hey, fam, I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:05.840 Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:10.040 Facebook Watch show in audio, produced by Westbrook Audio and 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:13.120 I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:17.440 on Apple Podcasts. On this Red Table Talk, Part two 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:20.360 of our conversation with t I and Tiny. We've been 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.840 together for almost twenty years. Ain't nothing but love right here, 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:26.720 and they've seen their share of controversy. Knowing that you 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:30.520 guys went through something like that, that's excruciating. Yes, and 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:34.400 that's actually what brought us back together from prison. When 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:38.400 I got back, everything the world was upside down to 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:42.840 their very public marriage problems. I never ever ever had 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:47.559 sex with anyone while we've been married. I have never 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:52.880 ever ever lied about this. You came back. I want 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:57.000 to know why we're talking surviving the ups and downs 0:00:57.040 --> 0:01:01.200 of marriage. This conversation, this problem is the exact same 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:12.600 thing Will and I had to work through. Y'all have 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:21.399 been together for what it's been a black Tell me 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:25.160 about it. T I Harris is a three time Grammy 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:29.200 winning rapper, actor, and TV star. He and his wife 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.800 Tiny Harris a singer with a popular group Escape Tied 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:35.520 the Knot in a secret ceremony in two thousand and 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.680 ten and have been together for close to two decades. 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:44.240 They have three children plus four from previous relationships. The 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:48.120 couple has faced their share of problems, including TIS time 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:53.240 in prison, public feuds, and infidelity. Things came to a 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:57.400 head in seventeen when Tiny filed for divorce a second time. 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:02.000 But today t I and Tiny have reconciled and they're 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:06.640 here to share their journey towards forever. The reason why 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:08.600 I love you guys, it's because you've been through it 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:12.480 and you've survived. So you were together for ten years 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.560 and then decided to get married. What was the decision 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:20.839 where we had some thoughts and stops? You know, Well, 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:23.320 actually we're supposed to get married in two thousand seven. 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:27.480 Originally I don't remember that. Oh we were playing the 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:30.119 whole wedding. Don't remember. Oh you don't remember. I don't 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:31.920 remember playing in the wind, and I don't remember that, 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:34.680 but to pretend everybody I don't remember. Well, anyway, that 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:38.079 didn't work out. You know, we had my fault, probably 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:43.480 probably quite that is, you see, that is the assumption 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:46.639 when we learned in counselor it takes two people. Well 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.600 they say that, but I really feel like sometimes it 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:53.880 takes one, because one person could be like they're dealing 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:56.280 Winn and Dealer Winn and Dela Winn and still trying 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:58.720 to make things work, and the other person can be 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:02.960 just doing that it. I tend to listen to the experts. 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.760 So two thousand and seven, yes, it didn't work out, 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:10.080 and we also lost a baby. And around that time, 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:13.880 to hear that, I didn't know that, Yeah, yeah, that 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.320 actually makes me really sad in the in the idea 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.040 of knowing that you guys actually went through something like that, 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.840 and that's actually what brought us back together. It seemed 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:24.560 like every time we tried to break up, somebody dad. 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:28.640 That's true. We had a very tumultual year. That year 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:32.200 we lost the baby, and I believe not too long 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:36.200 after that I caught my case. Yeah, it was a 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:40.920 roller coaster. It was a rocky year. After your first 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:45.000 case is when it was like, Okay, you're gonna marry 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:48.280 me A not right. I've been a good woman, been 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:50.560 in the house waiting on you to get out with 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:56.200 out of jail man. You hear this kill I got 0:03:56.320 --> 0:04:00.720 to be honest with you, I mean, but just speaking 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:04.160 honestly and truthfully, since this is a safe place. Yeah, 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:06.880 I really did feel that at that point in my life, 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:08.760 if I didn't get married in I was never gonna 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:12.160 get married. And my daddy died without being married. And 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:15.080 the thing he told me before he died was find 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:18.480 somebody to share your life with. Now, you just said 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:21.480 something very important right there. Having somebody to share your 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.359 life with. That's what it's all about, you know, because 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:28.880 she can go out and and find fun anywhere, you know, 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:36.640 and so could I. But I don't want to start them. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:42.440 I ain't got time. I'm impatient now, stuck in my ways. 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:46.159 Love me and leave me alone. I know that you 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:48.960 guys went through a really tough time. You put divorce 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.520 papers twice. Yeah, the first time we can get him 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:56.840 to get the papers. To listen, they got a job 0:04:56.880 --> 0:04:59.440 to do. They got a job, dude, I got a job. 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:07.440 You couldn't catch it. People, people, I'm not gonna do 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:10.520 your job. She kept calling me, saying, when you please, 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:12.120 let these people get you the paper for what? Let 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:15.719 them do their job. They got addresses, they know what. 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:20.120 I'm your job, all right. So they finally got his 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:25.080 papers and y'all were living separate lives. There was a 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:27.240 whole lot of stuff in the press, a lot of 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.400 back and forth on Twitter. Was it you had your quotes. 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:33.279 You was quoting to see about how marriage steals a 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:38.040 man's masculinity, and he says that it wasn't about I 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.840 would never believe that. I have no reason to lie. 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.680 I'm in a safe place. Yeah, I have no reason 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:46.560 to Like, you don't want it. You won't own up 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:48.640 to it. But you know what I owned up to. 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.719 It was insensitive for you to put out such a 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:56.080 thing when you know the world it's watching. Sensitivity is 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:59.440 left in the eye of the beholder because what I 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:02.039 feel is sensitive may not be the same as what 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:06.400 she feels sensitive. Right, So everybody has their own levels 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:10.240 of Sif that's right. That's true. You know that is 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:14.400 very true. Specifically an intimate relationships, that's true. After some 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:17.720 so much time together, I would think that you would 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:20.440 be a little bit more aware of her triggers. At 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.359 let me tell you something. Can I just explain to 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:30.080 you haven't been with somebody for twenty five years? No, 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:33.200 I know, but I don't hear about it. That's what 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:36.120 I'm telling you. Whatever that business is. I don't hear 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:42.000 him speaking on it so much. Hear him saying the things, Okay, 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:44.240 you want the truth, you want to understand, or no, 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:48.040 because it's better to know how someone feels. You could 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:52.160 tell me, call me, call me, tell everybody public stuff. 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:56.320 I feel somewhat of a philosopher of sorts. So if 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:58.919 there is a perspective that I feel is interesting that 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:00.960 I would like to share are with people for the 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:04.560 purpose of advancement of the generation, then I don't think 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.040 that that is something that even if it goes against 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.400 how would make your wife feel. You care about how 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:12.360 they feel, your wife? No, not how they feel. No, no, no, no, 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:16.840 this is about advantage. Want to teach them teaching. But 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.600 at the same time, I believe at the very time 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:24.120 that that came out, my calls were blocked. I had 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:28.600 no access to get to you, and I had been 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:32.520 relieved of duty as the person who were responsible to 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:36.480 be on site attending to her needs. And I've been 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:39.560 relieved of duty. You see what I'm saying, So I 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:42.920 can't play both positions. Well, of course you have. You 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:45.560 been out with women all on the ground, so of 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:51.440 course you think we both join ourselves what I'm saying, 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:54.800 It's come from one thing. We both have been out there, okay, 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:59.480 but not as suctensis as yours. Who knows it's okay. 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.800 Let would depend on that once because I actually think, 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:06.440 I actually think that's an important piece. It actually is 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:10.520 because you came from We don't come back to that, 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:13.840 because I think this right here is an important piece. 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.320 And I'm explained to you why I think it's important. 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:19.880 I want to know what was the last straw for 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:24.160 you that made you decide, because that's a big deal. 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:29.080 Tiny When I could not get him to respond, nothing 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:32.160 was working, and he was just like, you know, I'm 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.280 gonna move how I want to move. This is something 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:37.160 that we always go back and forth about it all 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.800 the time. But the second time I came home from prison. 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:41.240 So the first time I came over from prison, we 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.599 got married. I didn't do a honeymoon because I was 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:47.160 on my way back to prison again. And that time, 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:51.120 I believe, see, I have relationship from nineteen years ago 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:56.000 was kind of built on I guess the principles of 0:08:56.120 --> 0:09:00.480 practice of us being together all the time. We were 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:03.280 a huge part of each other's lives. When I went 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:06.680 to prison, I guess she felt like, well, now I 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:10.440 have to figure out what I'm gonna do because I 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:14.800 don't have you here to continue the protocols and the 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:19.400 practices that we have established in the fundamental stages of 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.400 this relationship. So when I got back, the world was 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.880 upside down. She kind of had an air like my time, 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:27.720 you know what I'm saying. I thought we were just 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.240 gonna hit the ground ready and to to get back to 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:34.120 things being the way they were, And there was a 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:38.839 ah an acclamation period that I had to make it through, 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:41.080 and me just coming back and not being in the 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:44.679 position that I was in, it left me feeling lesser 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:47.000 than so I had to go and figure out ways 0:09:47.040 --> 0:09:50.480 to make myself feel proper and adequate again, and that 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:54.439 led to things that led to things that led to 0:09:54.720 --> 0:10:03.840 things You had your say. I'm what he's trying to 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:06.800 say is I went and I found my own voice. 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:10.040 He was used to saying Okay, no, we're doing this, 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.760 We're moving this way, and I were like okay. But 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.280 when he came home he said we're moving this way 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:16.880 and I'm like, well, no, I got used to do 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:19.040 and he's like, that's not the way. You know it 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:21.280 wasn't what he was used to. He was used to 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:26.280 controlling things and well having things his way at all times. 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:29.360 But once I got on my own two feet, I 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.360 felt like I should have a voice too, and that voice, 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:34.520 it was a little different from what he was used to. 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:38.480 So that, to me, is what caused the issue. Wasn't 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:42.760 because I'm just being outlandishly disrespectful, because if it recalls, 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.680 excuse me, If you recalled, you cannot move, you cannot 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.680 go anywhere. I was still in the house like I 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:53.360 was on probation, doing all the things, but because I 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:57.760 had a voice that was not so timid, like, to me, 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:00.400 this is my this is my perspect this is my 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:05.319 outlook on it. I feel like she felt like it's 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:06.960 not the woman I left, and this is not what 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:09.680 I want. I want somebody that if I tell her this, 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:12.280 she's gonna listen and she's gonna do this the way 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.400 I want her to do it. And that's where he went. 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:16.600 He want to find him somebody that he can be like, hey, 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.880 don't move, let's do that, and then excuse me. I 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:23.320 was not you know what I'm saying. I understand, I understand. Okay, 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.640 this is the thing it's not about your voice. Okay, 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:27.400 go out there and you get the voice and wanted 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:29.040 to be loud as you wanted to be. However, you 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:31.160 must know how to use that voice. Now, the fact 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:38.280 that you may have muted yourself you no, no, no, no, 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:41.600 no no. You could have always said whatever it is 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.400 you wanted to say. Even if that led to me saying, well, 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.480 you know what, this ain't for me, then that is 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:49.280 a decision that you Wait a minute. That is a 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.840 decision and a sacrifice that a woman must be willing 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:54.640 to make for that voice. Wait a minute, let me finish. 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.480 I didn't interrupt you, okay. I never told you you 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:00.920 couldn't say. I told you I had my list of 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:05.920 how I wanted things to go, and you said, okay, 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:09.720 wait a minute. Okay. So when you were not okay 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:13.840 with it anymore, which is understandable, you changed your mind 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.280 or whatever happened, I went to prison. That calls you to, 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:20.000 you know, explore different parts of your voice. You can't 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:23.280 use that voice to try to go against me. We're 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:27.120 supposed to be together, and that, to me, I felt 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:28.680 like it was Maybe it was because it was so 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.400 new to you. Maybe you had learned how to control 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:33.840 it Actually wasn't new to me. It was just that 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.120 I gave it up because you know, you have to 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:39.560 excuse me, when you have a man that says, don't work, 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:41.760 don't this. I wanted to do this. I want to 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.360 take care of your thing. There's something hidden behind that 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.760 to me. To me, I feel like when a man 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.760 wants to they want to be your all, your end 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.600 and all you know, to be all. Then that means 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.320 you have a less of a chance to say I'm 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.520 moving this way or I'm going this way. You see 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:02.080 what I'm saying. When a man completely takes control, takes 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.360 care of you, you don't have a lot of sake 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:09.240 because you are dependent on this made so for a 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.960 long time because you didn't want me to work, I 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.880 pretty much gave up, you know, not trying to sing anymore, 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:16.920 not trying to do a new I never stopped an 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.760 escape album. No excuse me, there was no escape. But 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:21.680 you know, there was other things that I want to 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:25.800 do in music, and you asked me to that work, 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:27.240 and you was gonna take care. I said, well, I 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:29.080 got my mama do this and take care of all 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:31.840 of it. And he did, he did, and so you 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:38.360 agree that. But sometimes once when you agree to something, 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:40.640 then you realize that it doesn't really work for you. 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:43.880 Sometimes you have to experience something because you think you 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:45.320 want to do it because you want to be an 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:49.439 agreement with people. She loves you. Let me just say this, 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:53.680 this conversation, this problem is the exact same thing Will 0:13:53.679 --> 0:14:02.200 and I had to work through, just exact it is 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:10.200 exact same thing. She felt like she lost herself right 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:14.400 in supporting Will and his dreams and his career and 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:17.640 the idea that he had of what their relationship was 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:21.200 going to be. I'm listening to both of you, and 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:27.240 you both have a point, yes, So I'm saying this 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:34.600 to say that I completely understand where you're at, Tip, 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:40.640 and I hear you completely understanding right, because you're coming 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.440 from two different perspectives, and that's always going to be 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.800 the case. It's just about getting the understanding. And she 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.760 was trying to get her power back. And yes, I 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.120 could see how for you it could have seemed very 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:58.120 offensive because it is new for her. She is trying 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:01.040 to figure it out because it's it wasn't something that 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:04.560 she had practiced with for a while. So in her 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:09.280 putting her practice in you have some bumps in the road, right, 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.480 But it didn't mean that she didn't love you. And 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:16.000 I completely understand how you felt just getting out of 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:19.320 jail and you needing a certain kind of like, I 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.040 get it. It just so happened that in your journeys 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:24.800 you were in two different places. This is the irony 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:29.080 with that. When a man cannot provide for his family, 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.720 he's the less of a man. But if a man 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:35.880 provides everything, he's being controlling. Let me just say this, 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:39.000 and tiny you correct me if I'm wrong, but I 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.040 want you to just let me know if we're on it, 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:50.240 if we're on the same page. Yes, we do relinquish 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:54.840 a lot of our power. Two and then that we've 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:57.240 given our lives too. And at first I gave it 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:01.400 all over, and then I realized, oh, that's working. And 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.040 you get just a little disappointed because you feel like 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:09.160 I gave it all to you and you took it 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:16.160 and you misused it. You stop listening to me. You're 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:23.520 talking to Will right now. Where are you? So that's 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.880 your first thought, that's correct. Then as you start coming 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.680 into the understanding of yourself and your own power, you go, oh, man, Jada, 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:38.240 it's your choice. Though, and he did the best he could. Yeah, 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:42.360 he did the best he could. And honor the fact 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:45.680 that he wanted to m h. Honor the fact that 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:51.680 he tried. But it takes it takes him whether to 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:54.720 get there though, tip, And all I'm saying is, there's 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:59.400 no reason to defend yourself. And there's no reason for 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.040 you to defend in yourself. Because here's the thing. When 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:05.480 I see the two of y'all, ain't nothing but love 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:13.400 right here, this right here, and I can see that 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:15.320 you guys, you're working through and I just want you 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:18.000 to know, just from the experiences that I've had, like 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.959 there's no right or wrong here. This is true. Then 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:24.199 let me tell you you didn't do nothing wrong. You 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.480 didn't do nothing wrong. And you know what else we 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:31.600 have to release in our relationships, that power struggle, that ego. 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:44.959 Yeah she got, she got more than there. No, no, no, no, okay, 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:50.080 let's just say changing of one's mind. I understand that 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:54.040 in life all things would change. However, it is way 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:57.560 more possible for women to change their mind in the 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:01.320 midst of permanent decisions than it is for men. Men 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.840 can't change win sign no prenup. But I ain't had 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:05.439 no manity and I change my mind? How about we 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:08.760 get a prenup. I'm saying you can't do that, can't 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:13.359 you know? Because he's already been built, you see, So 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:17.440 life has been built. The expectations of this thing don't 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:20.640 work out. Fifty in the middle of those are expectations, 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:23.960 expectations of This is what I can expect from this relationship, 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.920 in this marriage. So if one thing changes, why can't 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.639 other things change too? Why is it just women can 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:33.560 change their mind? But me, me and a star always 0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:36.439 that aspect of your life is no longer just yours 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:40.040 that you're trying to put a pre nup on? What 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:50.800 about because yours? Gonna roll? Said said that? But I'm 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:57.120 just saying if we change in minds, when we change man, well, 0:18:57.119 --> 0:18:59.879 what can the man change his mind about about? That 0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:02.560 is a better way to ask that question. What can 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:05.600 the man change his mind about? To wear the same way? 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:07.560 The woman said, I want you to do this, and 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.560 I agreed to this, but now I've changed my mand 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:12.200 what can the man do? So let me ask you this, 0:19:14.400 --> 0:19:17.560 what changed that you decided not to take her up 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:24.480 on that divorce? You change something in your mind? Okay, 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:27.400 you did? Yeah, all right, so we're gonna talk about 0:19:27.440 --> 0:19:30.680 what changed in your mind. Okay, y'all both run off 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:34.000 and found y'all could have made lives. Everybody went out 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:37.440 has some fun. Okay, well, let's talk about that. You 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:39.880 could have gone out in the world and found yet 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:43.520 another woman who could have come into your life and 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:45.919 been like, oh, Tip, I'm just here for you what 0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:54.200 you want. You're lying, you're lying, your lying your life, 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:58.760 but I'm gonna enjoy it. One Okay, okay, that's fine. 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:01.680 So but but here's but I didn't stick it through 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:04.680 with not one. But you came back. I want to 0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:09.520 know why, because you discover no no, no, no, no, no, 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:14.240 no no, what did you discover out there? Tip? Because yes, 0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:17.320 she's the love of your life. But you went and 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:22.360 you I discovered absolutely nothing. Did you discover like, all right, 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:25.440 this is fun, but this ain't my life. I discovered 0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:28.600 this woman don't have my kids. This is the woman 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:32.119 I want. This is where I have had the best 0:20:32.200 --> 0:20:35.160 times of my life. There are jokes and memories and 0:20:35.280 --> 0:20:38.760 things that we share that no one else are a 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:43.919 part of or are involved with, and nobody could would 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:48.400 ever be able to even if within my thirty nine. Now, 0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:51.840 if I were to start to date, I'd have to 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:55.360 be fifty nine sixty years old before. I don't want 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.800 to wait that long to have this level of a connection. 0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:01.680 And I think that you know, it's very rare where 0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:05.439 you are able to be married to the best friends 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.720 you have and the best sex you've ever had. You 0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:11.520 know what I'm saying. So when you have those things 0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:15.120 two components, will you see what I'm saying that you don't? 0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:18.399 You just you don't just toss that away in the 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:22.719 negotiation and any deal, business or otherwise, never get what 0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:25.760 you deserve until you show you willing to walk away. 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:28.960 So is that what it took for both of us? 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:31.280 She showed she was willing to walk away. I think 0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:34.080 I got HRD you know, see things from a different 0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:37.359 perspective because she saw that I was willing to walk away. Tiny, 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:42.040 What made you decide to take the divorce papers off 0:21:42.080 --> 0:21:45.440 the table? That's a big step. You can think about 0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:47.200 wanting to get a divorce, but actually going to a 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:53.760 lawyer's office, get some papers drawn and hear her. Yeah, 0:21:53.960 --> 0:21:56.000 and what did make you decide that you didn't want 0:21:56.000 --> 0:22:00.520 to be divorced? It was you what changed? He changed? 0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:03.640 He came back and you changed. You changed, You came 0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.320 back as if you really wanted to work things out, 0:22:06.320 --> 0:22:09.680 you really wanted the relationship. Like before, it was kind 0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:12.359 of like, oh, the grass is green over here, so 0:22:12.440 --> 0:22:14.560 that's what I'm doing until I guess you figured out 0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:17.280 it wasn't right. Well, it happing to do with the 0:22:17.320 --> 0:22:22.159 green grass. A lot of it has to do with it, 0:22:23.480 --> 0:22:27.440 you recall. I don't want to, I don't want to say, 0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:30.560 but obviously what brought you back because you were out 0:22:30.600 --> 0:22:36.080 having fun. And let's take on record, I never ever, ever, ever, 0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:40.680 on record, had sex with anyone other than you while 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:45.800 we've been married. Okay, well, I have never ever ever 0:22:45.880 --> 0:22:49.439 lied about this table talking. I'm not gonna do it. 0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:52.760 So that's that's the real you know what I'm saying. 0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:55.119 Like I've been out, You've seen me out with people. 0:22:55.119 --> 0:22:58.800 We've never had any sexual encounter any ever. So this 0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:01.080 is another thing that I feel right. So sex is 0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:03.320 one thing you did. What I'm saying. You can go 0:23:03.359 --> 0:23:09.600 at and you can create moments with people physically, but 0:23:09.960 --> 0:23:16.560 the combination of energies and the aura of this is 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:21.040 exclusive to Tip and to me. I don't care who 0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:23.639 she goes and be with. I don't care who I 0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:27.480 going be with. You can have a different energy, but 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:32.840 it ain't gonna be this baby. That's true, and this 0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:35.320 is what I wanted though. I wanted the energy that 0:23:35.640 --> 0:23:38.680 I was used to. So let me ask you this 0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:42.720 tiny what is the thing that keeps you fighting for 0:23:42.920 --> 0:23:47.800 working at your relationship with Tip? For him, he's like, 0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:50.080 I don't want to start over. This is where it's 0:23:50.080 --> 0:23:51.800 at for me. I get to have my best friend. 0:23:51.840 --> 0:23:54.120 I get to have the best sex I've ever had 0:23:54.200 --> 0:23:57.560 with my best friend. I get to have my family. Like, 0:23:58.320 --> 0:24:01.120 what is the thing for you? In regards to Tip? 0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:03.920 I think it's got to be a two way street. 0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:07.199 If he's definitely in tune and trying to work with me, 0:24:07.320 --> 0:24:10.640 didn't that keeps me motivated to fight? I see the 0:24:10.720 --> 0:24:13.880 emotion in your eyes. Oh know what that is? I mean, 0:24:14.000 --> 0:24:18.479 it's just a lot of love, you know. Yeah? I 0:24:18.520 --> 0:24:21.960 really do feel that between you two, all the different 0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:25.720 machinations of everything that has transpired between you two, it's 0:24:25.720 --> 0:24:27.840