1 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:08,995 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:29,075 --> 00:00:32,515 Speaker 1: A reminder that this nation has executed two people who 3 00:00:32,635 --> 00:00:37,395 Speaker 1: stole top secret documents relating to American nuclear weapons. Donald 4 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:42,035 Speaker 1: John Trump is now suspected of stealing top secret documents 5 00:00:42,435 --> 00:00:46,475 Speaker 1: relating to nuclear weapons. The words with which to fully 6 00:00:46,475 --> 00:00:49,435 Speaker 1: express the outrage and the anger and the sense of 7 00:00:49,555 --> 00:00:53,195 Speaker 1: violation felt by those of us who truly care about 8 00:00:53,235 --> 00:00:57,315 Speaker 1: this country, who truly care about this democracy, those words 9 00:00:57,435 --> 00:01:05,035 Speaker 1: do not exist. This creature Trump, this liar Trump, this 10 00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:10,955 Speaker 1: turncoat Trump, this betrayer Trump, this scum Trump, this destroyer Trump, 11 00:01:11,035 --> 00:01:16,595 Speaker 1: this traitor. Trump is suspected of stealing top secret nuclear documents, 12 00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:19,155 Speaker 1: walking out of the White House with them, hiding them 13 00:01:19,155 --> 00:01:24,075 Speaker 1: in his schlock paradise in his quote office above the ballroom, 14 00:01:24,195 --> 00:01:29,235 Speaker 1: and a storage room off an interior hallway near the pool, unquote, 15 00:01:29,595 --> 00:01:33,115 Speaker 1: And when the government caught him and demanded he returned them, 16 00:01:33,275 --> 00:01:35,955 Speaker 1: he still kept nearly half of them, still ignored a 17 00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:38,835 Speaker 1: subpoena for them, And though the authorities gave him six 18 00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:41,115 Speaker 1: weeks to give them back, he did not do so. 19 00:01:41,755 --> 00:01:44,795 Speaker 1: They got a search warrant for them. They did it quietly, 20 00:01:44,835 --> 00:01:48,235 Speaker 1: They did it low key, he revealed it, he rebeled 21 00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:51,955 Speaker 1: in it. He played the martyred Saint Fatso of Marilago. 22 00:01:52,395 --> 00:01:55,435 Speaker 1: He played the victim. And now it is all going 23 00:01:55,515 --> 00:02:00,515 Speaker 1: to come out. Trump is suspected of stealing top secret 24 00:02:00,635 --> 00:02:07,995 Speaker 1: nuclear documents. Devlin Barrett, Josh Dawzy, Perry Stein, and Shane 25 00:02:08,035 --> 00:02:11,635 Speaker 1: Harris of The Washington Post with one of the great 26 00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:17,075 Speaker 1: news breaks of our time, quoting classified documents relating to 27 00:02:17,195 --> 00:02:20,955 Speaker 1: nuclear weapons were among the items FBI agents sought in 28 00:02:20,955 --> 00:02:24,755 Speaker 1: a search of former President Donald Trump's Florida residents on Monday, 29 00:02:24,955 --> 00:02:29,395 Speaker 1: according to people familiar with the investigation. The Post sources 30 00:02:29,555 --> 00:02:33,235 Speaker 1: quoting again, did not offer additional details about what type 31 00:02:33,235 --> 00:02:36,555 Speaker 1: of information the agents were seeking, including whether it involved 32 00:02:36,555 --> 00:02:40,715 Speaker 1: weapons belonging to the United States or some other nation, 33 00:02:41,315 --> 00:02:44,835 Speaker 1: nor did they say if such documents were recovered as 34 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:48,915 Speaker 1: part of the search end quote. A second report on 35 00:02:48,955 --> 00:02:53,835 Speaker 1: Thursday night got less attention. Brian Enton, the national reporter 36 00:02:53,875 --> 00:02:57,475 Speaker 1: for the TV network News Nation and formerly an investigative 37 00:02:57,555 --> 00:03:02,075 Speaker 1: reporter in South Florida, adding quote, sources tell me the 38 00:03:02,195 --> 00:03:06,675 Speaker 1: FBI took dozens of classified documents from mari Lago, including 39 00:03:06,755 --> 00:03:10,275 Speaker 1: T S slash s c I information that stands for 40 00:03:10,675 --> 00:03:15,755 Speaker 1: top secret sensitive compartmented information. It is among the most 41 00:03:15,915 --> 00:03:19,875 Speaker 1: top secret levels. The details about the T S slash 42 00:03:19,995 --> 00:03:23,475 Speaker 1: SCI materials being found in Trump's office and storage room 43 00:03:23,515 --> 00:03:27,155 Speaker 1: are from his reporting. Quoting it again, the storage room 44 00:03:27,195 --> 00:03:29,995 Speaker 1: I am told is about ten by six and their 45 00:03:30,115 --> 00:03:36,075 Speaker 1: quote were boxes everywhere end quote. Back to the Washington Post. 46 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:39,635 Speaker 1: It had a second, previously unreported detail. It was about quote, 47 00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:47,515 Speaker 1: signals intelligence intercepted electronic communications like emails and phone calls 48 00:03:47,555 --> 00:03:51,435 Speaker 1: of foreign leaders. A person familiar with the inventory of 49 00:03:51,515 --> 00:03:56,275 Speaker 1: fifteen boxes taken from Marilago in January indicated that signals 50 00:03:56,315 --> 00:04:02,595 Speaker 1: intelligence was included in them. As Merrick Garland announced he 51 00:04:02,595 --> 00:04:05,315 Speaker 1: would ask a court to unseal the ORCH warrant for 52 00:04:05,355 --> 00:04:08,955 Speaker 1: the nuclear documents Trump is suspected of stealing, we know 53 00:04:09,075 --> 00:04:14,115 Speaker 1: now a request Trump has now agreed with. Astute reporters 54 00:04:14,155 --> 00:04:19,755 Speaker 1: recognized a Department of Justice official sitting behind them. It 55 00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:23,595 Speaker 1: was Matt Olson. Matt Olson is the Assistant Attorney General 56 00:04:23,595 --> 00:04:26,875 Speaker 1: for National Security and the former head of the National 57 00:04:26,915 --> 00:04:30,195 Speaker 1: counter Terrorism Center under President Obama. And now we know 58 00:04:30,275 --> 00:04:34,195 Speaker 1: why the hell he was there. But there is still 59 00:04:34,195 --> 00:04:38,515 Speaker 1: another shoe to drop here. Something changed at Mari Lago 60 00:04:38,675 --> 00:04:43,035 Speaker 1: at the beginning of June. The issue of documents about 61 00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:46,675 Speaker 1: somebody's nuclear weapons maybe our own, must have been some 62 00:04:46,795 --> 00:04:52,115 Speaker 1: kind of manageable crisis. Until the beginning of June nightmarish 63 00:04:52,155 --> 00:04:56,955 Speaker 1: but under control in some way. Something must have changed. 64 00:04:57,955 --> 00:05:00,515 Speaker 1: A subpoena for the records Trump did not turn over 65 00:05:00,555 --> 00:05:04,475 Speaker 1: in January came, then another for the surveillance video at 66 00:05:04,675 --> 00:05:07,555 Speaker 1: a Lago, which, when the story first broke and the 67 00:05:07,595 --> 00:05:10,835 Speaker 1: nuclear component was not yet known, seemed to imply a 68 00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:14,515 Speaker 1: need to verify who had access to the documents that 69 00:05:14,555 --> 00:05:19,195 Speaker 1: the National Archives wanted back. Now they imply that someone 70 00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:22,635 Speaker 1: who could have done real damage with documents about nuclear weapons, 71 00:05:22,675 --> 00:05:26,355 Speaker 1: hours or somebody else's might have been at Mari Lago, 72 00:05:26,555 --> 00:05:30,235 Speaker 1: might have been looking at, or looking for, or walking 73 00:05:30,275 --> 00:05:38,475 Speaker 1: off with those documents. One can hardly imagine either a 74 00:05:38,595 --> 00:05:43,315 Speaker 1: more heinous crime by any official of government, or one 75 00:05:43,355 --> 00:05:47,515 Speaker 1: more likely to be the obvious conclusion of Trump's lifetime 76 00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:51,475 Speaker 1: of deceit and selfishness, of his incapability to see any 77 00:05:51,515 --> 00:05:55,795 Speaker 1: importance in anything other than himself, his disregard for laws 78 00:05:55,915 --> 00:05:59,515 Speaker 1: and rules and ethics, and even keeping the nuclear secrets 79 00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:08,435 Speaker 1: you've stolen secure from who spy Is club members, Saudi princes, 80 00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:11,595 Speaker 1: the Saudis who were at Trump's club in New Jersey 81 00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:16,115 Speaker 1: days ago for their money laundering golf tournament. There are 82 00:06:16,235 --> 00:06:20,275 Speaker 1: people shocked to read these words in the Washington Post, 83 00:06:20,675 --> 00:06:24,515 Speaker 1: But I cannot believe that there are any people surprised 84 00:06:25,235 --> 00:06:30,595 Speaker 1: to read these words steel documents related to nuclear weapons, 85 00:06:30,635 --> 00:06:34,315 Speaker 1: hours or another countries, whether to send them to Putin 86 00:06:34,635 --> 00:06:37,075 Speaker 1: or sell them to the Saudias, or to show them 87 00:06:37,075 --> 00:06:39,195 Speaker 1: off to some idiot who might be willing to buy 88 00:06:39,195 --> 00:06:43,235 Speaker 1: a membership to his trailer park trash country club. This 89 00:06:43,515 --> 00:06:49,195 Speaker 1: has Donald John Trump written all over it. If it's true, 90 00:06:49,235 --> 00:06:52,515 Speaker 1: there is no room in this country any longer for Trump, 91 00:06:52,795 --> 00:06:56,035 Speaker 1: or his family, or his supporters, or even the milk 92 00:06:56,155 --> 00:07:00,395 Speaker 1: toast media who asked can the country handle the prosecution 93 00:07:00,435 --> 00:07:08,915 Speaker 1: of a former president. No one takes the professed impartiality 94 00:07:09,035 --> 00:07:12,835 Speaker 1: of Maggie Haberman of the New York Times seriously anymore, 95 00:07:13,835 --> 00:07:19,115 Speaker 1: But she has sources. And Thursday, before Merrick Garland even 96 00:07:19,115 --> 00:07:22,595 Speaker 1: announced he would have an announcement, and hours before the 97 00:07:22,635 --> 00:07:26,915 Speaker 1: Post's story, and hours before Trump accepted the release of 98 00:07:26,915 --> 00:07:30,795 Speaker 1: the search warrant, she tweeted something that in light of 99 00:07:30,835 --> 00:07:36,635 Speaker 1: the Post's nuclear weapons documents scoop rings prophetic quote. Some 100 00:07:36,955 --> 00:07:40,795 Speaker 1: senior GEO piers have been warned by allies of Mr 101 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:44,155 Speaker 1: Trump not to continue to be aggressive in criticizing the 102 00:07:44,235 --> 00:07:47,475 Speaker 1: d o J and FBI over the matter, because it 103 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:51,395 Speaker 1: is possible that more damaging information about Mr Trump related 104 00:07:51,395 --> 00:07:57,435 Speaker 1: to the search will become public. Thus, now, just as 105 00:07:57,515 --> 00:08:02,555 Speaker 1: Trump had two choices, all the Republicans, all the fascists, 106 00:08:02,595 --> 00:08:05,475 Speaker 1: all the militias, all the Q and uns, all the 107 00:08:05,555 --> 00:08:09,875 Speaker 1: Fox News puppets, all the One America propagandists, all the 108 00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:13,275 Speaker 1: Proud Boys, all the three percentages, all the oath keepers, 109 00:08:13,315 --> 00:08:17,395 Speaker 1: all the vermin, all the scum, they still have two choices. 110 00:08:18,115 --> 00:08:21,995 Speaker 1: Trump's midnight statement was typical. He is the victim. There 111 00:08:22,075 --> 00:08:25,875 Speaker 1: was a break in poll numbers, great weaponization. Whatever the 112 00:08:25,955 --> 00:08:30,355 Speaker 1: warrants says, whatever the Marilago boxes contain, He and they 113 00:08:30,515 --> 00:08:33,595 Speaker 1: will make up some excuse and find some pretext, and 114 00:08:33,635 --> 00:08:39,755 Speaker 1: America will become their dictatorship, or we will expunge them 115 00:08:39,995 --> 00:08:44,195 Speaker 1: from our present and our future and our history. There 116 00:08:44,235 --> 00:08:50,795 Speaker 1: are no other choices. The Republican House Judiciary Twitter account, 117 00:08:51,515 --> 00:08:56,035 Speaker 1: Jim Jordan's Little Gang Actually Thursday night responded to the 118 00:08:56,075 --> 00:08:59,595 Speaker 1: prospect of a president who might be guilty of committing 119 00:09:00,195 --> 00:09:06,795 Speaker 1: or aiding nuclear espionage with this quote, So hours after 120 00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:09,755 Speaker 1: Merrick Garland says that d o J only speaks through 121 00:09:09,755 --> 00:09:12,435 Speaker 1: its filings in court, they go out and leak this 122 00:09:12,515 --> 00:09:18,555 Speaker 1: story to the Washington Post. Have you no sense of decency? 123 00:09:18,715 --> 00:09:25,315 Speaker 1: Republicans at long last? Have you left no sense of decency? 124 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:32,395 Speaker 1: And we know the answer. No, of course not. He 125 00:09:32,435 --> 00:09:37,435 Speaker 1: will fight this. You know that he will deny it. 126 00:09:38,075 --> 00:09:42,595 Speaker 1: You know that he will claim it was planted. You 127 00:09:42,635 --> 00:09:46,755 Speaker 1: know that, and some of the Republicans, enough of the 128 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:51,395 Speaker 1: Republicans will fight it and delay it and deny it. 129 00:09:51,755 --> 00:09:56,955 Speaker 1: With him, you know that they will follow him and 130 00:09:57,075 --> 00:10:05,555 Speaker 1: find an excuse even for nuclear treachery. We must wait. 131 00:10:06,515 --> 00:10:09,195 Speaker 1: But in the interim we must also do one thing. 132 00:10:09,835 --> 00:10:16,275 Speaker 1: We must stop with the euphemisms. Trump may have pilfered 133 00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:20,715 Speaker 1: top secret nuclear weapon documents. Trump may have looted top 134 00:10:20,755 --> 00:10:24,795 Speaker 1: secret nuclear weapon documents. Trump may have palmed top secret 135 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:29,315 Speaker 1: nuclear weapon documents. Trump may have pocketed top secret nuclear 136 00:10:29,315 --> 00:10:33,875 Speaker 1: weapon documents. Trump may have swiped top secret nuclear weapon documents. 137 00:10:33,915 --> 00:10:38,915 Speaker 1: Trump may have purloined top secret nuclear weapon documents. Trump 138 00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:43,035 Speaker 1: may have stolen top secret nuclear weapon documents. But he 139 00:10:43,115 --> 00:10:48,715 Speaker 1: did not mishandle them, He did not misappropriate them, He 140 00:10:48,795 --> 00:10:58,235 Speaker 1: did not misuse them stolen say it. Let me close 141 00:10:58,275 --> 00:11:01,475 Speaker 1: this where I took you a little while ago. Into 142 00:11:01,555 --> 00:11:04,235 Speaker 1: that press briefing room of the Department of Justice on 143 00:11:04,275 --> 00:11:08,795 Speaker 1: Thursday afternoon, the Attorney General, more in anger than in sorrow, 144 00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:12,315 Speaker 1: tells this creature Trump to put up or shut up, 145 00:11:13,355 --> 00:11:16,515 Speaker 1: and warns him in between the lines that the thing 146 00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:20,835 Speaker 1: he has so far avoided all this time, the full 147 00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:24,635 Speaker 1: weight of this government and its righteous indignation, will be 148 00:11:24,715 --> 00:11:29,195 Speaker 1: brought to bear upon him and will crush him. And 149 00:11:29,235 --> 00:11:32,795 Speaker 1: in the back of the room, behind the reporters, is 150 00:11:32,835 --> 00:11:37,595 Speaker 1: that Assistant Attorney General for National Security, Matt Olson, saying nothing, 151 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:43,755 Speaker 1: revealing nothing, but knowing whatever Merrick Garland knows or doesn't 152 00:11:43,755 --> 00:11:48,555 Speaker 1: know about missing documents about nuclear weapons in the hands 153 00:11:48,555 --> 00:11:53,035 Speaker 1: of Donald Trump. There is a curious fact about Matthew 154 00:11:53,075 --> 00:11:58,275 Speaker 1: Glenn Olsen that somehow raises this entire nightmare to something higher, 155 00:11:58,755 --> 00:12:05,715 Speaker 1: almost more imperative, certainly more ironic. Olsen's biography is a 156 00:12:05,755 --> 00:12:09,755 Speaker 1: series of spectacular career achievements, head of the National counter 157 00:12:09,875 --> 00:12:13,795 Speaker 1: Terrorism Center, on the board of the nonpartisan Human rights 158 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:17,715 Speaker 1: first organization founded to stop torture, including torture by US 159 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,755 Speaker 1: Executive director of the Guantanamo Task Force. And then there 160 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:26,475 Speaker 1: is one line, one brief career stop in his thirty 161 00:12:26,555 --> 00:12:30,435 Speaker 1: years of public service, hardly the most important, hardly something 162 00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:34,035 Speaker 1: you would have noticed at all, Say, just six years 163 00:12:34,035 --> 00:12:37,995 Speaker 1: ago in two thousand four and two thousand five, the 164 00:12:38,035 --> 00:12:43,075 Speaker 1: Assistant Attorney General for National Security, Matt Olsen, was special 165 00:12:43,155 --> 00:12:48,355 Speaker 1: counsel to the then Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, 166 00:12:48,995 --> 00:13:04,955 Speaker 1: a man named Robert Mueller. Still ahead on countdown because 167 00:13:04,995 --> 00:13:07,315 Speaker 1: we must take a breath, after all that. If we 168 00:13:07,355 --> 00:13:09,275 Speaker 1: do not take it now, who knows when we can? 169 00:13:09,795 --> 00:13:13,315 Speaker 1: It is James thurber Day. Also we have our first 170 00:13:13,355 --> 00:13:17,395 Speaker 1: hopeful sign about Britney Grinder coming home. The guy who 171 00:13:17,515 --> 00:13:21,475 Speaker 1: used to draw Dilbert makes the worst Person's Finals. And 172 00:13:21,555 --> 00:13:25,675 Speaker 1: it's not for bad cartooning this time. And the last 173 00:13:25,795 --> 00:13:31,395 Speaker 1: thing I needed just now was a reanimated Harry carry 174 00:13:31,955 --> 00:13:35,035 Speaker 1: singing take me out to the ball game from a 175 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:39,435 Speaker 1: TV booth, suddenly appearing at the Field of Dreams Ballpark. 176 00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:44,475 Speaker 1: And yet there was it might be a cut bay, 177 00:13:44,675 --> 00:13:48,835 Speaker 1: it doesn't He's been gone twenty four years. Let him 178 00:13:48,875 --> 00:14:09,475 Speaker 1: rest all that's next. This is Countdown. This is Countdown 179 00:14:10,835 --> 00:14:19,395 Speaker 1: with Keith Overman just ahead, James thurber Field of Dreams, 180 00:14:19,475 --> 00:14:23,435 Speaker 1: Brittney Griner coming home first. In each edition of Countdown, 181 00:14:23,435 --> 00:14:25,675 Speaker 1: we feature a dog in need whom you can help. 182 00:14:25,675 --> 00:14:29,675 Speaker 1: Every dog has its day. Since pandemic lockdowns ended, this 183 00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:33,195 Speaker 1: story has unfolded again and again, and each one breaks 184 00:14:33,235 --> 00:14:37,355 Speaker 1: your heart. On July, the family drove to the Baldwin 185 00:14:37,515 --> 00:14:40,875 Speaker 1: Park Animal Care Center southern California. They took their dog 186 00:14:40,915 --> 00:14:45,395 Speaker 1: who had been with them eleven years, eleven years, Sweet Roxy, 187 00:14:46,155 --> 00:14:49,195 Speaker 1: and they left her at the pound. Roxy is a 188 00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:52,875 Speaker 1: medium sized mix, your standard issue mutt I guess, very sweet, 189 00:14:52,955 --> 00:14:55,835 Speaker 1: very gentle, great kisser, they say and show on video. 190 00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:59,635 Speaker 1: But at eleven in a pound, she's one of the 191 00:14:59,675 --> 00:15:02,675 Speaker 1: dogs least likely to find a new home. We might 192 00:15:02,715 --> 00:15:04,955 Speaker 1: be able to pledge money and a rescue could pull 193 00:15:04,995 --> 00:15:07,515 Speaker 1: her out and maybe find her a foster. Or maybe 194 00:15:07,555 --> 00:15:10,275 Speaker 1: there is somebody in Southern California with a heart and 195 00:15:10,395 --> 00:15:14,115 Speaker 1: home big enough to adopt a senior dog. If you're interested, 196 00:15:14,155 --> 00:15:16,435 Speaker 1: go to my account for dogs in Need Tom Jumbo 197 00:15:16,475 --> 00:15:19,515 Speaker 1: Grumbo on Twitter to see a video of Roxy and 198 00:15:19,555 --> 00:15:21,435 Speaker 1: get the links that will take you to the website 199 00:15:21,715 --> 00:15:24,715 Speaker 1: where she is. Look for my tweet about Roxy at 200 00:15:24,755 --> 00:15:35,155 Speaker 1: Tom Jumbo Grumbo on Twitter. Thank you coming up on countdown. 201 00:15:35,155 --> 00:15:37,315 Speaker 1: Forty years ago, I may have been the first person 202 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,435 Speaker 1: on television to do a story about the book that 203 00:15:40,515 --> 00:15:44,235 Speaker 1: became Field of Dreams, and after last night's second Field 204 00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:48,835 Speaker 1: of Dreams game, I am begging you stop it already. 205 00:15:49,795 --> 00:15:52,875 Speaker 1: But now postscripts to the news, some headlines, some thoughts, 206 00:15:52,995 --> 00:16:01,755 Speaker 1: and some snark. Dateline Cincinnati. You already know about this one. 207 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,035 Speaker 1: A man is dead now after he tried to storm 208 00:16:04,075 --> 00:16:06,915 Speaker 1: the FBI office there. He was wearing body armor. He 209 00:16:06,995 --> 00:16:09,795 Speaker 1: brandished an a R fifteen. He fired a nail gun 210 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:12,875 Speaker 1: at law enforcement. He then fled. He tried to hide 211 00:16:12,915 --> 00:16:15,675 Speaker 1: in a field. He would not surrender. He raised the 212 00:16:15,715 --> 00:16:18,475 Speaker 1: gun again towards the police and was killed by them. 213 00:16:18,995 --> 00:16:22,595 Speaker 1: Authorities identified him as forty two year old Ricky Walter Schiffer. 214 00:16:23,035 --> 00:16:25,355 Speaker 1: The New York Times says he appears in a video 215 00:16:25,715 --> 00:16:31,355 Speaker 1: posted to Facebook on January at Black Lives Matter Plaza 216 00:16:31,835 --> 00:16:35,635 Speaker 1: in Washington, supporting Trump on the night before the coup. 217 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:39,155 Speaker 1: There is also dated Monday, right after the search at Marilago, 218 00:16:39,275 --> 00:16:44,875 Speaker 1: a post on truth social Trump's version of Twitter from 219 00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:47,595 Speaker 1: an account using that same name, Ricky Schiffer, and the 220 00:16:47,635 --> 00:16:50,755 Speaker 1: post reads, in part quote, I am proposing war. Be 221 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:54,475 Speaker 1: ready to kill the enemy. Violence is not all terrorism. 222 00:16:54,835 --> 00:16:57,475 Speaker 1: Kill the FBI on site, and be ready to take 223 00:16:57,515 --> 00:17:00,155 Speaker 1: down active enemies of the people and those who try 224 00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:03,475 Speaker 1: to prevent you from doing it. At Another dead American 225 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:08,155 Speaker 1: courtesy of Donald Trump. Dateline Atlanta, Another Day, Another Herschel 226 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:11,435 Speaker 1: Walker story. Opponents have put together a chilling ad in 227 00:17:11,475 --> 00:17:14,195 Speaker 1: which his ex wife describes the time he put a 228 00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:17,035 Speaker 1: gun to her head and threatened to kill her. The 229 00:17:17,155 --> 00:17:19,075 Speaker 1: first time he put a gun to her head and 230 00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:23,075 Speaker 1: threatened to kill her. Walker has now made a video 231 00:17:23,435 --> 00:17:27,195 Speaker 1: in which he says, quote, my opponents think they're hurting me, 232 00:17:27,555 --> 00:17:30,675 Speaker 1: but I'm glad they did this ad because it gives 233 00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:36,075 Speaker 1: me the opportunity to end the stigma around mental health. 234 00:17:39,835 --> 00:17:43,675 Speaker 1: Draw your own conclusions. Dateline your mailbox. The US Post 235 00:17:43,715 --> 00:17:46,875 Speaker 1: Office has given itself approval for a temporary price hike 236 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:52,355 Speaker 1: between October two and January holiday congestion pricing. If you will, 237 00:17:52,435 --> 00:17:56,035 Speaker 1: priority mail will go up seventy cents. Some bigger deliveries 238 00:17:56,035 --> 00:17:58,795 Speaker 1: could go up six and a half bucks and Inexplicably, 239 00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:02,595 Speaker 1: the president has not yet removed the Postmaster General Lewis DeJoy, 240 00:18:02,675 --> 00:18:05,555 Speaker 1: even though he was appointed by Trump to destroy the 241 00:18:05,555 --> 00:18:10,235 Speaker 1: post office and dateline Moscow light at the end of 242 00:18:10,235 --> 00:18:15,515 Speaker 1: the tunnel. Russian Foreign Ministry spokesman Ivan Nachayev says, quote, 243 00:18:16,035 --> 00:18:20,595 Speaker 1: instructions were given to authorized structures to carry out negotiations. 244 00:18:20,835 --> 00:18:24,235 Speaker 1: They are being conducted by competent authorities. It sounds like 245 00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:26,595 Speaker 1: one of those We fed a hundred years of bureaucratic 246 00:18:26,675 --> 00:18:30,995 Speaker 1: language into a computer and it's spit out jokes. In fact, 247 00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,755 Speaker 1: though it got no pick up during the day, the 248 00:18:34,835 --> 00:18:40,395 Speaker 1: spokesman is confirming that the Russians are finally negotiating with 249 00:18:40,435 --> 00:18:43,875 Speaker 1: the US on a prisoner exchange that would send Americans 250 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:50,675 Speaker 1: Paul Whalen and w NBA basketball star Brittney Griner home. Amen, 251 00:19:03,355 --> 00:19:09,675 Speaker 1: this is Sports Center. Wait, check that not anymore. This 252 00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:16,315 Speaker 1: is Countdown with Keith Alberman from the World of Wide Sports. 253 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,995 Speaker 1: The NBA gets it right again. The most successful player 254 00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:22,435 Speaker 1: in its history, its first African American superstar, it's first 255 00:19:22,475 --> 00:19:26,355 Speaker 1: black coach, Bill Russell, died just thirteen days ago. The 256 00:19:26,475 --> 00:19:30,875 Speaker 1: league has already announced it is retiring his number on 257 00:19:30,915 --> 00:19:34,915 Speaker 1: every team, nobody will ever be issued Russell's number six again. 258 00:19:34,995 --> 00:19:38,315 Speaker 1: In the National Basketball Association players now wearing it, and 259 00:19:38,355 --> 00:19:42,035 Speaker 1: there are ten of them, including Lebron, James, Lou Williams, 260 00:19:42,075 --> 00:19:45,515 Speaker 1: Christaps Porzingis they can continue to wear it until the 261 00:19:45,595 --> 00:19:48,635 Speaker 1: day they retire, which is how Baseball handled it when 262 00:19:48,675 --> 00:19:52,955 Speaker 1: it retired Jackie Robinson's number forty two. Marianna Rivera of 263 00:19:52,955 --> 00:19:56,995 Speaker 1: the Yankees was still wearing number forty two sixteen years later, 264 00:19:58,075 --> 00:20:03,075 Speaker 1: speaking of retiring it. The second annual Field of Dreams 265 00:20:03,155 --> 00:20:06,395 Speaker 1: Game was played Thursday and i in Dyersville, Iowa Cubs 266 00:20:06,395 --> 00:20:10,195 Speaker 1: and Red's, complete with fake old timey wood fencing around 267 00:20:10,195 --> 00:20:14,075 Speaker 1: the field and fake manual scoreboards on the TV broadcast, 268 00:20:14,475 --> 00:20:17,955 Speaker 1: and the announcer is wearing sweater vests and cloth caps 269 00:20:18,035 --> 00:20:22,275 Speaker 1: and sleeve protectors from the nineteen twenties for no good reasons. 270 00:20:22,315 --> 00:20:24,955 Speaker 1: Since the book and the film were set in the 271 00:20:25,035 --> 00:20:29,275 Speaker 1: nineteen eighties, and everybody who watched the players on the 272 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:33,075 Speaker 1: Field of Dreams emerge from the corn and play their game, 273 00:20:33,395 --> 00:20:35,915 Speaker 1: those fans would have been dressed like they normally did 274 00:20:35,915 --> 00:20:38,115 Speaker 1: in the nineteen eighties. I mean, if the announcers dressed 275 00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:40,515 Speaker 1: up like it was two, it would make some sense. 276 00:20:41,955 --> 00:20:45,755 Speaker 1: They also did a seventh inning stretch Grimmick Agammick, involving 277 00:20:45,835 --> 00:20:49,635 Speaker 1: a re animated version of Harry Carey, the late Great 278 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:53,795 Speaker 1: Cardinals and Cubs and White Sox and A's announcer. Harry 279 00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:57,915 Speaker 1: died in nineteen ninety eight. Rather and and I say 280 00:20:57,955 --> 00:21:01,875 Speaker 1: this having known him, I think at this point, after 281 00:21:01,915 --> 00:21:05,875 Speaker 1: all the post mortem commercials and bits and the Will 282 00:21:05,995 --> 00:21:10,355 Speaker 1: Ferrell sketches and everything else, and now him singing, take 283 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,475 Speaker 1: me out to the ball game. Only it's not him. 284 00:21:12,475 --> 00:21:15,835 Speaker 1: It's an animated version, and it doesn't exactly look like him. 285 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,875 Speaker 1: I think Harry is somewhere in the universe at this point, 286 00:21:18,955 --> 00:21:25,515 Speaker 1: saying Hi, for God's sake, let my soul rest already. 287 00:21:26,755 --> 00:21:29,635 Speaker 1: If I'm sounding even more cynical than usual, don't get 288 00:21:29,635 --> 00:21:32,835 Speaker 1: me wrong. I loved the movie and I love the book. 289 00:21:33,315 --> 00:21:35,035 Speaker 1: Jowlish Joe was the name of the book, And in 290 00:21:35,075 --> 00:21:37,435 Speaker 1: point of fact, I am pretty certain I was the 291 00:21:37,475 --> 00:21:40,675 Speaker 1: first person to publicize the book on TV. I did 292 00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:46,715 Speaker 1: a report on it in May or June oft damn 293 00:21:46,795 --> 00:21:50,075 Speaker 1: years ago. I did a report on it on CNN. Yes, 294 00:21:50,195 --> 00:21:54,155 Speaker 1: a CNN story about a book I extolled its nostalgia 295 00:21:54,195 --> 00:21:56,915 Speaker 1: and its tale of redemption, and particularly it's emphasis on 296 00:21:56,995 --> 00:22:00,155 Speaker 1: the non commercial value of sports, in particular of baseball, 297 00:22:00,395 --> 00:22:03,075 Speaker 1: and that is the exact opposite of the Field of 298 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:07,235 Speaker 1: Dreams game. It was a little hokey last year when 299 00:22:07,235 --> 00:22:09,675 Speaker 1: they introduced it, but it was novel, and I guess 300 00:22:09,715 --> 00:22:12,115 Speaker 1: it was okay. But in the second year it's now 301 00:22:12,155 --> 00:22:18,035 Speaker 1: nothing but another opportunity to merchandise a past which Baseball 302 00:22:18,075 --> 00:22:20,195 Speaker 1: spends the rest of its year trying to kill off 303 00:22:21,115 --> 00:22:24,635 Speaker 1: every single camera angle, including the endless number of crane 304 00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:28,395 Speaker 1: shots and and shots from drones, each one of them 305 00:22:28,395 --> 00:22:31,955 Speaker 1: centered on one advertisement or another. And the teams wore 306 00:22:32,075 --> 00:22:35,475 Speaker 1: special nineteen fourteen style versions of their uniforms, which of 307 00:22:35,475 --> 00:22:40,475 Speaker 1: course are now available at exorbitant prices online. After I 308 00:22:40,515 --> 00:22:45,075 Speaker 1: did that two CNN story on his book, W. P. Kinsella, 309 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:48,715 Speaker 1: the man who wrote Shoolish Joe, corresponded with me. He 310 00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:50,675 Speaker 1: was kind enough to help me on a very bad 311 00:22:50,755 --> 00:22:53,595 Speaker 1: novel I was writing and happily burned, And I do 312 00:22:53,675 --> 00:22:56,315 Speaker 1: remember he confirmed a point I made in my report 313 00:22:56,595 --> 00:22:59,635 Speaker 1: that his story was about a part of life that 314 00:22:59,675 --> 00:23:03,875 Speaker 1: for once didn't happen to carry a price tag on it. Well, 315 00:23:03,915 --> 00:23:08,395 Speaker 1: all the field of dreams game is is price tags. 316 00:23:09,675 --> 00:23:12,995 Speaker 1: And one last complaint. Doesn't it bother anybody that the 317 00:23:13,075 --> 00:23:16,395 Speaker 1: players in their old timey uniforms playing in the same 318 00:23:16,475 --> 00:23:19,835 Speaker 1: cornfield in which they shot the movie, they are cast 319 00:23:19,915 --> 00:23:22,155 Speaker 1: in the role of the equivalence of the ball players 320 00:23:22,675 --> 00:23:26,075 Speaker 1: in the film. And I hate to remind you of this, 321 00:23:26,915 --> 00:23:31,395 Speaker 1: but the ball players, all the ball players in the film, 322 00:23:31,435 --> 00:23:48,795 Speaker 1: they are dead. Stell ahead, It's time for more James Sturberg. 323 00:23:48,875 --> 00:23:51,715 Speaker 1: In this edition of the pod The Night the Bed 324 00:23:51,835 --> 00:23:55,395 Speaker 1: Fell First, the daily roundup of the miscrants, morons and 325 00:23:55,475 --> 00:24:01,315 Speaker 1: Dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's hi worst persons 326 00:24:01,355 --> 00:24:07,555 Speaker 1: in the world. Sorry, Harry, our Bronze winner the Lincoln Project, 327 00:24:07,635 --> 00:24:10,395 Speaker 1: the somewhat dicey group of anti Trump Republicans now trying 328 00:24:10,395 --> 00:24:13,235 Speaker 1: to fundraise it says a million dollars to run an 329 00:24:13,235 --> 00:24:16,835 Speaker 1: ad on Fox News to quote mess with Maga has 330 00:24:16,875 --> 00:24:19,995 Speaker 1: noted fairly roundly when this appeared. So you want us 331 00:24:20,035 --> 00:24:21,995 Speaker 1: to give you money, and when you get to a 332 00:24:22,075 --> 00:24:25,075 Speaker 1: million dollars, you're gonna give the million dollars to Rupert 333 00:24:25,155 --> 00:24:29,155 Speaker 1: Murdoch and Lochland Murdoch and Tucker Carlson. It seems like 334 00:24:29,315 --> 00:24:34,475 Speaker 1: there's a flaw in that plan somewhere. The silver to 335 00:24:34,675 --> 00:24:38,355 Speaker 1: balloon head. The evil Charlie Brownie not best and not 336 00:24:38,515 --> 00:24:42,275 Speaker 1: so brightest young conservative trolled Charlie Kirk in the wake 337 00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:45,075 Speaker 1: of the hiring of new Internal Revenue Service agents and 338 00:24:45,635 --> 00:24:47,755 Speaker 1: the execution of the search warrant at the home of 339 00:24:47,835 --> 00:24:51,955 Speaker 1: Donald Trump, possible nuclear thief. Kirk says the Red States 340 00:24:51,955 --> 00:24:56,795 Speaker 1: should defund the federal government, quoting state should say like 341 00:24:56,875 --> 00:24:59,355 Speaker 1: Arizona should say, the I R S is not welcome 342 00:24:59,355 --> 00:25:03,315 Speaker 1: in Arizona. Just an idea, yeah, and a good one. 343 00:25:03,515 --> 00:25:06,515 Speaker 1: The last calculation by Business Insider is that the state 344 00:25:06,555 --> 00:25:10,875 Speaker 1: of Arizona gets thirty one billion dollars more a year 345 00:25:12,115 --> 00:25:14,635 Speaker 1: out of the federal government than it puts into the 346 00:25:14,675 --> 00:25:17,915 Speaker 1: federal government. Whereas everybody in New York State pays an 347 00:25:17,915 --> 00:25:21,275 Speaker 1: average of three thousand bucks into the national kitty, it 348 00:25:21,395 --> 00:25:23,595 Speaker 1: costs me three grand a year to keep the other 349 00:25:23,635 --> 00:25:27,475 Speaker 1: states in business. Every man, woman, and child in Arizona 350 00:25:27,595 --> 00:25:32,915 Speaker 1: is basically paid by the government dollars a year to 351 00:25:33,075 --> 00:25:36,155 Speaker 1: be an American citizen. So keep the I R S 352 00:25:36,195 --> 00:25:39,155 Speaker 1: out watch Arizona's government go bankrupt in a week to 353 00:25:39,235 --> 00:25:42,355 Speaker 1: ten days and save me the you know, eighty five 354 00:25:42,475 --> 00:25:44,595 Speaker 1: or so bucks a year I pay to keep just 355 00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:47,075 Speaker 1: Arizona alive. That's great. I can go spend that on 356 00:25:47,115 --> 00:25:50,955 Speaker 1: the dogs. But our winner Scott Adams, or as he 357 00:25:50,995 --> 00:25:55,835 Speaker 1: publicly identifies himself, Scott Adams parenthesis, famous for creating Gilbert 358 00:25:55,955 --> 00:26:00,315 Speaker 1: and Parenthesis. At seven thirty Eastern Monday night, he tweeted, 359 00:26:00,555 --> 00:26:03,715 Speaker 1: I will allow my government forty eight hours to explain itself. 360 00:26:04,395 --> 00:26:08,115 Speaker 1: At seven oh three Eastern Wednesday night, he tweeted times up. 361 00:26:08,715 --> 00:26:13,195 Speaker 1: At eastern Yesterday morning, he tweeted, I waited two days 362 00:26:13,195 --> 00:26:15,515 Speaker 1: for my government to justify an FBI raid on a 363 00:26:15,555 --> 00:26:18,515 Speaker 1: former president's home. I think that was fair minded of me. 364 00:26:18,955 --> 00:26:22,675 Speaker 1: No justification has been offered. The presumption of innocence of 365 00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:26,035 Speaker 1: the government and FBI can now be removed from the 366 00:26:26,075 --> 00:26:32,595 Speaker 1: options set. Phase two begins, meaning clearly the end of 367 00:26:32,635 --> 00:26:36,755 Speaker 1: phase one where Doris gets our oats and as humorist 368 00:26:36,795 --> 00:26:44,155 Speaker 1: Patrick Monaghan replied, phase two is drawing Dilbert holding a gun. Scott, Oh, 369 00:26:44,195 --> 00:26:48,115 Speaker 1: I get it. He wasn't Dilbert, he was Dilbert's idiot 370 00:26:48,195 --> 00:27:10,475 Speaker 1: Boss Adams today's worst person in the world. Monday, through Thursday. 371 00:27:10,515 --> 00:27:12,675 Speaker 1: Here the number one story on the Countdown has been 372 00:27:12,675 --> 00:27:15,355 Speaker 1: and will be tales of horror and nonsense from my 373 00:27:15,595 --> 00:27:19,595 Speaker 1: career next week alone Tuesday, It's forty five years since 374 00:27:19,595 --> 00:27:22,515 Speaker 1: Elvis Presley died. You know who did the last radio 375 00:27:22,555 --> 00:27:28,635 Speaker 1: commercial for an Elvis Presley concert? Me? You know who? 376 00:27:29,235 --> 00:27:31,315 Speaker 1: Who still has the tape of the last commercial for 377 00:27:31,355 --> 00:27:35,355 Speaker 1: an Elvis Presley concert? Also Me, I'll play it for you, 378 00:27:35,635 --> 00:27:37,795 Speaker 1: and I'll talk about that weirdness and the night I 379 00:27:37,835 --> 00:27:40,915 Speaker 1: nearly hired Monica Lewinsky's lawyer to get me out of 380 00:27:40,915 --> 00:27:44,475 Speaker 1: doing a nightly show about Monica Lewinsky. But we will 381 00:27:44,475 --> 00:27:47,075 Speaker 1: close each week with an old tradition from the TV show, 382 00:27:47,155 --> 00:27:49,435 Speaker 1: reading aloud from the works of the great James Thurber. 383 00:27:50,155 --> 00:27:53,155 Speaker 1: I have argued before that James Thurber is the greatest 384 00:27:53,155 --> 00:27:55,995 Speaker 1: American humorist. And it dawns on me that the argument 385 00:27:56,075 --> 00:27:59,035 Speaker 1: is not unlike the idea that show Hey Otani of 386 00:27:59,075 --> 00:28:02,955 Speaker 1: the Los Angeles Angels is almost automatically the most valuable 387 00:28:02,995 --> 00:28:05,315 Speaker 1: player in baseball each year because he is an All 388 00:28:05,355 --> 00:28:09,835 Speaker 1: Star hitter at an All Star pitcher in the same body. 389 00:28:10,115 --> 00:28:13,275 Speaker 1: James Thurber was a brilliant writer and in his spare time, 390 00:28:13,315 --> 00:28:16,875 Speaker 1: he was an equally brilliant, almost avant garde artist in 391 00:28:16,915 --> 00:28:20,475 Speaker 1: the same body his simple drawings to pick the most 392 00:28:20,475 --> 00:28:24,795 Speaker 1: complex of emotions and comedic situations. His dogs are immortal. 393 00:28:25,235 --> 00:28:27,795 Speaker 1: And then there were his captions. Well, I can't do 394 00:28:27,835 --> 00:28:30,235 Speaker 1: anything with his drawings in a podcast, so I'll just 395 00:28:30,315 --> 00:28:33,395 Speaker 1: read and I will read you now in this episode, 396 00:28:33,435 --> 00:28:38,035 Speaker 1: what is probably his most famous story from My life 397 00:28:38,035 --> 00:28:42,915 Speaker 1: and hard Times, The Night the Bed Fell James Thurber. 398 00:28:44,555 --> 00:28:48,875 Speaker 1: I suppose that the high water mark of my youth 399 00:28:48,955 --> 00:28:52,675 Speaker 1: in Columbus, Ohio was the night the bed fell on 400 00:28:52,755 --> 00:28:56,795 Speaker 1: my father. It makes a better recitation unless, as some 401 00:28:56,955 --> 00:28:58,755 Speaker 1: friends of mine have said, one has heard it five 402 00:28:58,835 --> 00:29:01,155 Speaker 1: or six times. Then it does a piece of writing, 403 00:29:01,595 --> 00:29:05,755 Speaker 1: for it is almost necessary to throw furniture around, shake doors, 404 00:29:05,795 --> 00:29:09,515 Speaker 1: and bark like a dog to lend the proper atmosphere 405 00:29:09,555 --> 00:29:15,435 Speaker 1: and very similitude to what is admittedly a somewhat incredible tale. Still, 406 00:29:16,075 --> 00:29:20,075 Speaker 1: it did take place. It happened then that my father 407 00:29:20,155 --> 00:29:22,515 Speaker 1: had decided to sleep in the attic one night, to 408 00:29:22,555 --> 00:29:26,475 Speaker 1: be away where he could think. My mother opposed the 409 00:29:26,515 --> 00:29:29,715 Speaker 1: notion strongly because she said the old wooden bed up 410 00:29:29,755 --> 00:29:33,035 Speaker 1: there was unsafe it was wobbly, and the heavy headboard 411 00:29:33,035 --> 00:29:35,395 Speaker 1: would crash down on Father's head in case the bed 412 00:29:35,435 --> 00:29:40,475 Speaker 1: fell and kill him. There was no dissuading him, however, 413 00:29:40,835 --> 00:29:42,915 Speaker 1: and at a quarter past ten, he closed the attic 414 00:29:42,955 --> 00:29:45,355 Speaker 1: door behind him and went up the narrow, twisting stairs. 415 00:29:46,075 --> 00:29:49,195 Speaker 1: We later heard am in his creakings as he crawled 416 00:29:49,195 --> 00:29:52,475 Speaker 1: into bed. Grandfather, who usually slept in the attic bed 417 00:29:52,475 --> 00:29:55,435 Speaker 1: when he was with us, had disappeared some days before. 418 00:29:56,155 --> 00:29:58,795 Speaker 1: On those occasions, he was usually gone six or eight days, 419 00:29:58,795 --> 00:30:02,595 Speaker 1: and returned growling and out of temper with the news 420 00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:06,115 Speaker 1: that the Federal Union was run by a hassle of blockheads, 421 00:30:06,195 --> 00:30:08,355 Speaker 1: and that the Army of the Potomac didn't have any 422 00:30:08,355 --> 00:30:13,275 Speaker 1: more chance than a fiddler's bitch. We had visiting us 423 00:30:13,315 --> 00:30:16,075 Speaker 1: at the time, a nervous first cousin of mine named 424 00:30:16,075 --> 00:30:19,275 Speaker 1: Briggs Beale, who believed that he was likely to cease 425 00:30:19,355 --> 00:30:22,595 Speaker 1: breathing when he was asleep. It was his feeling that 426 00:30:22,635 --> 00:30:25,515 Speaker 1: if he were not awakened every hour during the night, 427 00:30:25,515 --> 00:30:29,155 Speaker 1: he might die of suffocation. He had been accustomed to 428 00:30:29,195 --> 00:30:32,395 Speaker 1: setting an alarm clock to ring at intervals until morning, 429 00:30:32,635 --> 00:30:36,715 Speaker 1: but I persuaded him to abandon this. He slept in 430 00:30:36,795 --> 00:30:38,395 Speaker 1: my room, and I told him that I was such 431 00:30:38,435 --> 00:30:41,355 Speaker 1: a light sleeper that if anybody quit breathing in the 432 00:30:41,395 --> 00:30:44,755 Speaker 1: same room with me, I would wake instantly. He tested 433 00:30:44,795 --> 00:30:47,755 Speaker 1: me the first night, which I had suspected he would, 434 00:30:48,275 --> 00:30:51,915 Speaker 1: by holding his breath after my regular breathing, had convinced 435 00:30:51,995 --> 00:30:55,315 Speaker 1: him I was asleep. I was not asleep, however, and 436 00:30:55,395 --> 00:31:00,635 Speaker 1: called to him. This seemed to allay his fears a little, 437 00:31:01,195 --> 00:31:03,435 Speaker 1: but he took the precaution of putting a glass of 438 00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:07,035 Speaker 1: spirits of camp for on a little table at the 439 00:31:07,035 --> 00:31:09,995 Speaker 1: head of his bed in case I didn't arouse him 440 00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:12,875 Speaker 1: until he was almost gone. He said he would sniff 441 00:31:12,955 --> 00:31:17,435 Speaker 1: the camphor. Powerful Revivor Briggs was not the only member 442 00:31:17,515 --> 00:31:21,715 Speaker 1: of his family and his crotchets. Old Aunt Melissa Belle, 443 00:31:22,115 --> 00:31:24,395 Speaker 1: who could whistle like a man with two fingers in 444 00:31:24,395 --> 00:31:27,635 Speaker 1: her mouth, suffered under the premonition that she was destined 445 00:31:27,675 --> 00:31:30,435 Speaker 1: to die on South High Street because she had been 446 00:31:30,475 --> 00:31:34,115 Speaker 1: born on South High Street and married on South High Street. 447 00:31:34,835 --> 00:31:37,995 Speaker 1: Then there was Aunt Sarah Chauffe, who never went to 448 00:31:38,035 --> 00:31:40,955 Speaker 1: bed at night without the fear that a burglar was 449 00:31:40,955 --> 00:31:44,315 Speaker 1: going to get in and blow chloroform under her door 450 00:31:44,435 --> 00:31:48,115 Speaker 1: through a tube to avert this calamity, for she was 451 00:31:48,155 --> 00:31:51,235 Speaker 1: in greater dread of anesthetics than of losing her household goods. 452 00:31:51,275 --> 00:31:55,355 Speaker 1: She always piled her money, silverware, and other valuables in 453 00:31:55,355 --> 00:31:58,955 Speaker 1: a neat stack just outside her bedroom, with a note reading, 454 00:31:58,995 --> 00:32:01,195 Speaker 1: this is all I have. Please take it and do 455 00:32:01,275 --> 00:32:03,795 Speaker 1: not use your chloroform, as this is all I have. 456 00:32:05,395 --> 00:32:08,755 Speaker 1: Aunt Gracie Schoff also had a burglar phobia, but she 457 00:32:08,875 --> 00:32:12,395 Speaker 1: met it with more fortitude. She was confident that burglars 458 00:32:12,395 --> 00:32:15,515 Speaker 1: had been getting into her house every night for forty years. 459 00:32:16,155 --> 00:32:19,115 Speaker 1: The fact that she never missed anything was to her 460 00:32:19,315 --> 00:32:21,955 Speaker 1: no proof. To the contrary, she always claimed that she 461 00:32:22,075 --> 00:32:25,035 Speaker 1: scared them off before they could take anything by throwing 462 00:32:25,355 --> 00:32:29,195 Speaker 1: shoes down the hallway. When she went to bed, she 463 00:32:29,355 --> 00:32:32,395 Speaker 1: piled where she could get at them handily, all the 464 00:32:32,475 --> 00:32:36,035 Speaker 1: shoes there were about her house. Five minutes after she 465 00:32:36,075 --> 00:32:37,755 Speaker 1: had turned off the light, she would sit up in 466 00:32:37,835 --> 00:32:43,115 Speaker 1: bed and say hark. Her husband, who had learned to 467 00:32:43,155 --> 00:32:46,835 Speaker 1: ignore the whole situation as long ago as nineteen o three, 468 00:32:47,035 --> 00:32:50,875 Speaker 1: would either be sound asleep or pretend to be sound asleep. 469 00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:54,155 Speaker 1: In either case, he would not respond to her tugging 470 00:32:54,275 --> 00:32:58,035 Speaker 1: and pulling so that presently she would arise tiptoe to 471 00:32:58,075 --> 00:33:01,035 Speaker 1: the door, open it slightly, and he was shoe down 472 00:33:01,075 --> 00:33:03,995 Speaker 1: the hall in one direction, and its mate down the 473 00:33:03,995 --> 00:33:07,355 Speaker 1: hall in the direction. Some nights she threw them all, 474 00:33:08,115 --> 00:33:12,835 Speaker 1: some nights only a couple of pair. But I am 475 00:33:12,955 --> 00:33:16,155 Speaker 1: straying from the remarkable incidents that took place during the 476 00:33:16,235 --> 00:33:19,595 Speaker 1: night that the bed fell on father. By midnight we 477 00:33:19,595 --> 00:33:22,715 Speaker 1: were all in bed. The layout of the rooms and 478 00:33:22,755 --> 00:33:25,795 Speaker 1: the disposition of their occupants is important to an understanding 479 00:33:25,795 --> 00:33:29,875 Speaker 1: of what later occurred. In the front room upstairs, just 480 00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:34,595 Speaker 1: under father's attic bedroom, where my mother and my brother Herman, 481 00:33:34,635 --> 00:33:38,195 Speaker 1: who sometimes sang in his sleep, usually marching through Georgia 482 00:33:38,355 --> 00:33:42,475 Speaker 1: or onward Christian soldiers, briggs Beale and myself were in 483 00:33:42,475 --> 00:33:45,315 Speaker 1: a room adjoining this one. My brother Roy was in 484 00:33:45,315 --> 00:33:48,635 Speaker 1: a room across the hall from ours. Our bull terrier 485 00:33:48,755 --> 00:33:53,035 Speaker 1: Wrecks slept in the hall. My bed was an army cot, 486 00:33:53,035 --> 00:33:55,555 Speaker 1: one of those affairs which are made wide enough to 487 00:33:55,555 --> 00:33:58,275 Speaker 1: sleep on comfortably only by putting up flat with the 488 00:33:58,275 --> 00:34:01,835 Speaker 1: middle section the two sides, which ordinarily hang down like 489 00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:05,075 Speaker 1: the sideboards of a drop leaf table. When these sides 490 00:34:05,115 --> 00:34:09,475 Speaker 1: are up, it is perilous to roll too far toward 491 00:34:09,515 --> 00:34:12,355 Speaker 1: the edge, for then the cot is likely to tip 492 00:34:12,435 --> 00:34:15,635 Speaker 1: completely over, bringing the whole bed down on top of 493 00:34:15,675 --> 00:34:20,715 Speaker 1: one with a tremendous banging crash. This, in fact, is 494 00:34:20,755 --> 00:34:24,515 Speaker 1: precisely what happened about two o'clock in the morning. It 495 00:34:24,555 --> 00:34:27,035 Speaker 1: was my mother who, in recalling the scene later first 496 00:34:27,115 --> 00:34:29,075 Speaker 1: referred to it as the night the bed fellow on 497 00:34:29,155 --> 00:34:34,075 Speaker 1: Your father, always a deep sleeper and slow to arouse, 498 00:34:34,875 --> 00:34:38,755 Speaker 1: I had lied to Briggs. I was at first unconscious 499 00:34:38,835 --> 00:34:41,715 Speaker 1: of what had happened when the iron cot rolled me 500 00:34:41,795 --> 00:34:44,995 Speaker 1: on to the floor and toppled over on me. It 501 00:34:45,155 --> 00:34:47,755 Speaker 1: left me still warmly bundled up and unhurt, for the 502 00:34:47,755 --> 00:34:50,675 Speaker 1: bed rested above me like a canopy. Hence I did 503 00:34:50,675 --> 00:34:53,835 Speaker 1: not wake up, only reached the edge of consciousness and 504 00:34:53,875 --> 00:34:57,515 Speaker 1: went back. The racket, however, instantly awakened my mother in 505 00:34:57,555 --> 00:35:00,715 Speaker 1: the next room, who came to the immediate conclusion that 506 00:35:00,795 --> 00:35:04,115 Speaker 1: her worst dread was realized. The big wooden bed upstairs 507 00:35:04,195 --> 00:35:08,515 Speaker 1: had fall one on father. She therefore screamed, let's go 508 00:35:08,675 --> 00:35:12,755 Speaker 1: to your poor father. It was this shout, rather than 509 00:35:12,795 --> 00:35:15,835 Speaker 1: the noise of my cot falling, that awakened Herman in 510 00:35:15,835 --> 00:35:18,355 Speaker 1: the same room with her. He thought that mother had become, 511 00:35:18,355 --> 00:35:22,915 Speaker 1: for no apparent reason, hysterical. You're all right, Mama, he shouted, 512 00:35:22,915 --> 00:35:27,075 Speaker 1: trying to calm her. They exchanged shout for shout for 513 00:35:27,195 --> 00:35:31,115 Speaker 1: perhaps ten seconds. Let's go to your poor father, and 514 00:35:31,475 --> 00:35:36,235 Speaker 1: you're all right. That woke up Briggs. By this time 515 00:35:36,315 --> 00:35:38,715 Speaker 1: I was conscious of what was going on in a 516 00:35:38,835 --> 00:35:42,035 Speaker 1: vague way, but did not yet realize that I was 517 00:35:42,635 --> 00:35:47,035 Speaker 1: under my bed instead of on it. Briggs, awakening in 518 00:35:47,075 --> 00:35:49,555 Speaker 1: the midst of loud shouts of fear and apprehension, came 519 00:35:49,595 --> 00:35:52,355 Speaker 1: to the quick conclusion that he was suffocating and that 520 00:35:52,435 --> 00:35:55,555 Speaker 1: we were all trying to bring him out. With a 521 00:35:55,635 --> 00:35:59,755 Speaker 1: low moan, he grasped the glass of camphor at the 522 00:35:59,795 --> 00:36:03,435 Speaker 1: head of his bed, and instead of sniffing it, he 523 00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:09,075 Speaker 1: poured it over himself. The room reeked of camphor. Ah 524 00:36:09,435 --> 00:36:12,155 Speaker 1: choked Briggs like a drowning man, for he had almost 525 00:36:12,195 --> 00:36:16,715 Speaker 1: succeeded in stopping his breath under the deluge of pungent spirits. 526 00:36:17,515 --> 00:36:20,115 Speaker 1: He leaped out of bed and groped toward the open window, 527 00:36:20,155 --> 00:36:22,715 Speaker 1: but he came up against one that was closed. With 528 00:36:22,835 --> 00:36:26,195 Speaker 1: his hand, he beat out the glass, and I could 529 00:36:26,275 --> 00:36:29,955 Speaker 1: hear it crash and tinkle on the alleyway below. It 530 00:36:30,075 --> 00:36:32,355 Speaker 1: was at this juncture that I, in trying to get up, 531 00:36:32,395 --> 00:36:36,515 Speaker 1: had the uncanny sensation of feeling my bed above me 532 00:36:37,315 --> 00:36:40,635 Speaker 1: foggy with sleep. I now suspected, in my turn that 533 00:36:40,715 --> 00:36:43,555 Speaker 1: the whole uproar was being made in a frantic endeavor 534 00:36:43,755 --> 00:36:46,355 Speaker 1: to extricate me from what must be an unheard of, 535 00:36:46,355 --> 00:36:49,235 Speaker 1: in perilous situation. Get me out of this, I bawled, 536 00:36:49,355 --> 00:36:52,155 Speaker 1: ket me out. I think I had the nightmarish belief 537 00:36:52,195 --> 00:36:56,675 Speaker 1: that I was entombed in a mine A glottle gas 538 00:36:56,915 --> 00:37:01,075 Speaker 1: Briggs floundering in his camphor. By this time, my mother, 539 00:37:01,315 --> 00:37:05,195 Speaker 1: still shouting, pursued by herman, still shouting, was trying to 540 00:37:05,195 --> 00:37:07,115 Speaker 1: open the door to the attic in order to go 541 00:37:07,195 --> 00:37:10,435 Speaker 1: up and get my father's body out of the wreckage. 542 00:37:11,755 --> 00:37:16,835 Speaker 1: The door was stuck, however, and would not yield. Her 543 00:37:16,835 --> 00:37:19,755 Speaker 1: frantic pulls on it only added to the general banging 544 00:37:19,795 --> 00:37:22,475 Speaker 1: and confusion. Roy and the dog were now up, the 545 00:37:22,475 --> 00:37:27,235 Speaker 1: one shouting questions, the other barking. Father, farthest away and 546 00:37:27,315 --> 00:37:29,995 Speaker 1: soundest sleeper of all, had by this time been awakened 547 00:37:29,995 --> 00:37:33,595 Speaker 1: by the battering on the attic door. He decided that 548 00:37:33,675 --> 00:37:39,355 Speaker 1: the house was on fire. Oh come, Oh come, he 549 00:37:39,475 --> 00:37:42,675 Speaker 1: wailed in a slow, sleepy voice. It took him many 550 00:37:42,715 --> 00:37:45,915 Speaker 1: minutes to regain full consciousness. My mother, still believing he 551 00:37:45,995 --> 00:37:49,395 Speaker 1: was caught under the bed, detected in his I'm coming, 552 00:37:49,795 --> 00:37:52,715 Speaker 1: the mournful resigned note of one who was preparing to 553 00:37:52,795 --> 00:37:57,435 Speaker 1: meet his maker. He's dying, she shouted. I'm all right. 554 00:37:57,995 --> 00:38:01,235 Speaker 1: Briggs yelled to reassure her. I'm all right. He still 555 00:38:01,235 --> 00:38:04,315 Speaker 1: believed that it was his own closeness to death that 556 00:38:04,515 --> 00:38:08,355 Speaker 1: was worrying Mother. I found at last the light switch 557 00:38:08,435 --> 00:38:10,315 Speaker 1: in my room, unlocked the door, and Briggs and I 558 00:38:10,435 --> 00:38:13,475 Speaker 1: joined the others at the attic door. The dog, who 559 00:38:13,515 --> 00:38:17,075 Speaker 1: never did like Briggs, jumped for him, assuming that he 560 00:38:17,155 --> 00:38:19,875 Speaker 1: was the culprit in whatever was going on, and Roy 561 00:38:20,195 --> 00:38:23,635 Speaker 1: had to throw Rex and hold him. We could hear 562 00:38:23,675 --> 00:38:26,555 Speaker 1: Father crawling out of the bed upstairs. Roy pulled the 563 00:38:26,555 --> 00:38:28,995 Speaker 1: attic door open with a mighty jerk, and Father came 564 00:38:29,035 --> 00:38:32,435 Speaker 1: down the stairs, sleepy and irritable, but safe and sound. 565 00:38:33,355 --> 00:38:36,275 Speaker 1: My mother began to weep when she saw him. Rex 566 00:38:36,355 --> 00:38:42,035 Speaker 1: began to howl. What in the name of God is 567 00:38:42,115 --> 00:38:48,155 Speaker 1: going on here? Asked Father. The situation was finally put 568 00:38:48,195 --> 00:38:52,915 Speaker 1: together like a giant jigsaw puzzle. Father caught a cold 569 00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:55,155 Speaker 1: from prowling around in his bare feet, but there were 570 00:38:55,155 --> 00:39:00,115 Speaker 1: no other bad results. I'm glad, said mother, who always 571 00:39:00,115 --> 00:39:04,435 Speaker 1: looked on the bright side of things, that your grandfather wasn't. 572 00:39:04,435 --> 00:39:14,075 Speaker 1: Here are a box to hide in by James Thurber. 573 00:39:16,395 --> 00:39:18,955 Speaker 1: Oh goodness, I've done all the damage I can do here. 574 00:39:18,995 --> 00:39:20,555 Speaker 1: This is where I ask you your rate and review 575 00:39:20,595 --> 00:39:23,755 Speaker 1: the podcast live. Tell them it's great. The Countdown theme 576 00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:27,355 Speaker 1: from Beethoven's Ninth arranged, produced and performed by Countdown Musical 577 00:39:27,355 --> 00:39:31,595 Speaker 1: directors Brian Ray and John Philip Channel. All orchestration and 578 00:39:31,675 --> 00:39:35,675 Speaker 1: keyboards by John Philip Chanelle, guitars, bass and drums by 579 00:39:35,715 --> 00:39:39,955 Speaker 1: Brian Ray, produced by t Ko Brothers. The other Beethoven 580 00:39:39,995 --> 00:39:42,435 Speaker 1: selections have been arranged and performed by the group No 581 00:39:42,595 --> 00:39:46,915 Speaker 1: Horns Allowed. Our Sports music is the theme from the 582 00:39:46,915 --> 00:39:51,275 Speaker 1: Oberman ESPN two show, written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy 583 00:39:51,275 --> 00:39:55,555 Speaker 1: of ESPN Incorporated. Musical comments by Nancy Fauss, the best 584 00:39:55,635 --> 00:39:59,235 Speaker 1: baseball stadium organist ever. Our announced you today was my 585 00:39:59,275 --> 00:40:03,795 Speaker 1: friend Stevie bands Ant. Everything else is my fault, So 586 00:40:03,835 --> 00:40:07,075 Speaker 1: that's countdown for us. The third day since Donald Trump's 587 00:40:07,075 --> 00:40:09,875 Speaker 1: first attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the 588 00:40:09,955 --> 00:40:13,715 Speaker 1: United States. A new episode Monday. Till Then, I'm Keith 589 00:40:13,755 --> 00:40:18,515 Speaker 1: all Reman. Good Morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. 590 00:40:27,635 --> 00:40:30,395 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith all Woman is a production of I 591 00:40:30,555 --> 00:40:34,235 Speaker 1: heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit 592 00:40:34,275 --> 00:40:37,675 Speaker 1: the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 593 00:40:37,755 --> 00:40:38,915 Speaker 1: get your podcasts.