1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,159 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry letter to Steve ARBFM dot com 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 1: by clicking on submit Strawberry letter. We could be reading 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're going 4 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: to read this one right here, right now. You never 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 1: know it could be yours. So write us. We'd love 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: to hear from you. That's right, Write us right now, 7 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: ladies jumps time for a Strawberry letter with my good 8 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: friend Charlie Strawberry. Thank you, my good friend Junior subject 9 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: he has done his research. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a 10 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,480 Speaker 1: thirty year old single female and I'm a regional manager 11 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: for a jewelry company. I met a handsome and wealthy 12 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: man online and we dated for seven months. I didn't 13 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: have a lot of faith in online dating because I 14 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,240 Speaker 1: thought it was for weirdos that only wanted to hook 15 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: up for sex. I also thought that all of the 16 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: men online were lying on their bios. Turns out I 17 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: was a weirdo and I got busted recently. My online 18 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: dating profile had that I was a single woman that 19 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: loves wine and the finer things in life. I fail 20 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: to put on there that I was a single mother 21 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: of a teenager. When I met my guy. I eventually 22 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: told him I have a thirteen year old daughter that 23 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 1: is living with her father because he lives closer to 24 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: her private school. I met this man's mother and she 25 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: asked if we've ever met. I lied in her face 26 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 1: and kept the lie up for a long time until 27 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: his mom told him he should do some research on me. 28 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 1: His mother was actually one of my counselors at the 29 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: Juvenile Justice Center until I was eighteen years old. I 30 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: was in and out of rehab as a teenager, and 31 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: not because I was on drugs, but because I sold them. 32 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: Every time I got caught, I got sent to a 33 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: juvenile rehab center so I wouldn't have to go to 34 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: a detention center. By the time I turned seventeen, I 35 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: got pregnant and I left the streets alone. When my 36 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: child was born, my child's father's mom asked to raise 37 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: a baby, and I agreed it was best. I put 38 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: my past behind me and went to technical school and 39 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: got a certificate, and then I got a great job. 40 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: My boyfriend did a lot of research to find out 41 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: who I really was, and then he broke up with me. 42 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: He told me, the past is the past, but I 43 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: should have been honest we had only been together for 44 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: seven months, so I was waiting. Was I wrong for 45 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: withholding that info? Well, you know, I'm a firm believer 46 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: in you don't have to tell everything, I mean, not 47 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: every little detail of your life. But in your case, 48 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: you left out key pieces of information that should have 49 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: been told. I mean, seven months is a long time 50 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: for you, guys to be together. Sometimes, you know, that 51 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: could determine how long you're going to be together. If 52 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: you get past three months, then the six months and 53 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 1: all of that. You know, sometimes you can make it 54 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: into a real relationship, you know. I just you know, 55 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: I understand how you feel about online dating. You said, 56 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: you know you thought it was for weirdos, and it 57 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: turned out that you were the one that was withholding things. 58 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: The question is, we'd only been together for seven months, 59 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: so were waiting? What were you waiting for the right moment? 60 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: I mean, it seems to me that when his mother 61 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: asked did she recognize you? That could have been a 62 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: moment for you to tell something. I mean, you know, 63 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 1: the constant lying to his mom who actually recognized you. 64 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: I think she was right to tell him to do 65 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 1: his research and timing is everything you could have taken 66 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: time to tell him. I mean, I get it, you 67 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 1: were probably scared you would lose him if you told him, 68 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: But not telling him made it worse. So what was 69 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: he supposed to do? I think this letter is not 70 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: about how you turned your life around for the better. 71 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: I think that's great. You know this happened quite a 72 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: while ago when you were seventeen eighteen, you're thirty now. 73 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: I just think this letter is not about that turning 74 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: your life around. It's great that you did that, but 75 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: this letter is about you withholding, withholding important moments about 76 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: your past that could affect your future with this man. 77 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: And there's a valuable lesson here about telling the truth, 78 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: because everyone has a story to tell about how they 79 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: got to where they are today. But he can't appreciate 80 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 1: who you are now because you hit it and you 81 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: know you're withheld. You lied about it for all intents 82 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: and purposes. Some things about ourselves, yes, they are hard 83 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: to volunteer. I get that, but it's better if you 84 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:24,039 Speaker 1: tell them before someone else does. Steve, you know how 85 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: I feel about honesty. Yes, I do. We all it's 86 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: been real documented. You know how I feel about telling 87 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: the truth all the time. It's been well documented. You know, 88 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: I'm not a proponent of telling everything, nor am I 89 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 1: proponent of always telling the truth. But now that is 90 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 1: such a thing as a necessary lie. We know I 91 00:04:54,760 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: will lie any term it's needed, it required, or necessary, 92 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: I will in a heartbeat. But then this is a 93 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: letter about unnecessary lies. Let's go. He's done his research. 94 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 1: I'm a thirty ye old single female and I'm a 95 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: regional manager at the jewelry company. I met a handsome 96 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: and wealthy man online. We dated for seven months. Well, 97 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: I hope you don't call that a success, because seven 98 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: months is not successful dating. I didn't have a lot 99 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: of faith in online dating because I thought it's the 100 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,479 Speaker 1: weirdos that only wanted to hook up for sex. But 101 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 1: in spite of that, you went online anyway? That right there, 102 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: So that's not a true statement. I thought it was 103 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: for weirdos that only one to hear him. So I 104 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 1: thought also thought that all of the men online were 105 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 1: men online were lying on their bios. So what did 106 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: you do? You decided to join in and lie too, 107 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: But unnecessarily, turns out I was a weirdo and I 108 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: got busted. Recently, my online dating profile had that I 109 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: was a single woman that loves wine and the finer 110 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: things in life. You are a single woman, but you're 111 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: a single mother. If you had told a man about 112 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: the kid, it probably wouldn't have mattered you thirty, You 113 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: had a baby as seventeen, but your your story deeper 114 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: than that. Well, I know why you didn't tell it. 115 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 1: That was an unnecessary Yeah, all right, Steve, hang on, 116 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: we'll have part two of your response to today's Strawberry letter. 117 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: He has done his research. Right after this, you're listening 118 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: to Come on, Steve. Let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The 119 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 1: subject he has done his research. I am a proponent 120 00:06:55,560 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: of life of naha. That's how you see how you 121 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: start off the segment. The truth matters. The truth matters, sir, 122 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: not all the time, and I'm a proponent of that. 123 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: But then there is such a thing as an unnecessary lie. Ye, 124 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: And that's what happened to him. You got to know 125 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: when to lie. Damn it, man, the Tory needed heartfelt lie. 126 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: You thirty year old single female and regional managers. You 127 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: got matter man, wealthy man online and you dated for 128 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: seven months. That's not a success. You didn't have a 129 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: lot of faith in online dating because I thought it 130 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: was for weirdos that only wanted to hook up for set, 131 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: but you went online anyway. I also thought all the 132 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: men online were trying were lying on their bio, so 133 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: you decided to join in and lie too unnecessary. Turns 134 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: out I was a weirdo and I got busted. My 135 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: online dating profile said that I was a single woman 136 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: that loved wine and the finding things in life. That's 137 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: a true statement by everybody. But you left off something 138 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: that you was not necessary. You're not a single woman. 139 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: You're a single mother. Not that wouldn't have been her 140 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: heartful to tell at all. I failed to put that 141 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: out as a single mother as a teenager, because you're 142 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: thirty and you got a thirteen year old daughter, So 143 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: you was a single mother at seventeen. You didn't have 144 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: to say that, but you should have said you was 145 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: a single parent. Now the thirteen year old daughter lives 146 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: with her father because he lives closer to the private school. 147 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: Now here's where you could have started being a little 148 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: bit mold better. This would have helped you. I met 149 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 1: this man's mother and she asked me if we'd ever met. 150 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: I lied in her face and kept up the life 151 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: for a long time. But a long time. It ain't 152 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,199 Speaker 1: seven months until his mom told him she should do 153 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: some research on me. The mother didn't say exactly where 154 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: she knew it from. Heim probably just do some research. 155 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: His mother was actually one of my counselors at the 156 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: Juvenile Justice in until I was eighteen years old. I 157 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 1: was in rehab as a teenager, not because I was 158 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: on drugs, but because I sold him. When you saw 159 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: this woman, you should have said, oh, fits glad, I 160 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: you thank you so much. You turned my life completely around. 161 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: I was so lost. My mom and father bandoned me, 162 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: and you miss so much to me and day and 163 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: you caused me to change my life. I'm working at 164 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: the jewelry, so I've changed my life. I had my 165 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: life together that I have you think, bul Oh my god, 166 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: you were wonderful to me. Man. If that man had 167 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: I saw you loving on his mama like that, you 168 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: could have turned this whole thing around. But oh now, 169 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: you unnecessary lie dude. I know you somewhere from where. 170 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: Um You're right, I ain't never seen you. You don't 171 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: know me. You got me mixed up with somebody else. 172 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: And she was in there for selling drugs. Every time 173 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 1: I got called, I got sent to a juven rehab 174 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,079 Speaker 1: center so I wouldn't have to do a detention center. 175 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: By the time I turned seventeen, I got pregnant. I 176 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: left the streets alone. When my child was born, my 177 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 1: child's father's mama asked the baby, asked to raise the baby, 178 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: and I agreed. It was best because she knew you 179 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: wasn't nothing that seventeen year old slanging drugs. Let me 180 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: get this baby up out of here. This is my 181 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: son's baby. Let me get this baby a chance. Thank 182 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: God for mother's like that. Thank God for grandmama's around 183 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: the world that know how to pick up man Lord Heimers. 184 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 1: I put my past behind me and went to technical 185 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: school and got a certificate. Then I got a great job. Well, 186 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: my boyfriend did a lot of research to find out 187 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: who I really was, and he broke up with you. 188 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: He told me that the past is the past. But 189 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: I should have been honest. See you lie. Unnecessarily single 190 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: love wine and finding things in life. A single mother 191 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 1: who loves wide and the finding things like that would 192 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,680 Speaker 1: not have made a difference to this brand because they 193 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 1: liked her. Yeah, because even when he found out you 194 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: had the baby, he to steal with you, but they're 195 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 1: selling the drugs. He can't do that. He can't. He 196 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 1: can't go with that one right there. You should have 197 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: told him to see but he was gonna bounce on 198 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: that one. A lot of dudes can't handle that, so 199 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,719 Speaker 1: he broke. He told me that the path, but I 200 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,959 Speaker 1: should have been honest. We had only been together for 201 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: seven months, so I was waiting seven months some minutes. 202 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure y'all had slept together. Body, you have 203 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:47,599 Speaker 1: a baby in nine Yeah, I was I wrong for 204 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: withholding that infolt. Yes, you worked, and to show you 205 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:55,439 Speaker 1: how wrong it was, it has backfire and now you're 206 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: paying for the consequence. The man said, the past is 207 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: the past. But you should have been honest, because see now, 208 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: if you ain't honest about that, now he got to 209 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 1: question your honesty on everything. So because you are necessarily 210 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: one more time, I want iron should be reserved for mandatory, 211 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: heart felt and needed moments. All other lies are unnecessary. Wow, 212 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 1: ask me anything, shirt and I'll tell you how to answer. 213 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 1: What does it say on your shirt? Oh it's just 214 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: a message, a message, message of encouragement. You can't answer 215 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:44,320 Speaker 1: the question, thank you, thank you. So you have a 216 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: lie prepared for anybody, That's what I'm getting, all right. 217 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: I don't have them prepared, but they pop up instantly. 218 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: I have. I just know. I just know how to 219 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 1: do it. Try the truth, all right. Hit It's up 220 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,599 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Steve Harvey at them to comment on 221 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: today a Strawberry Letter. You can also check out the 222 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up next in a 223 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 1: sports talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to 224 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 1: the same Harvey Morning Show