1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:02,160 Speaker 1: This is the Fred Show. 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 2: We have your chance to win a trip for two 3 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 2: to see Kelly Clarkson's return to Las Vegas for her 4 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: brand new residency studio Sessions Live at the Coliseum at 5 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 2: Segret's Palace on August first. Text Sessions to three seven 6 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 2: three three seven now for a chance to win two 7 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 2: tickets to the August first show, two nights hotel s 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 2: Day July thirty first to August second at the Flamingo, 9 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 2: Las Vegas and round trip bear Fair. A confirmation text 10 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 2: to be sent. Standard message of data rates apply all 11 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 2: thanks to the Live Nation. Ah Okay, So here's our 12 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 2: morality Monday, and this is from our friends at Reddit. 13 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,279 Speaker 2: Am I the a whole? Eight five five five nine 14 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 2: one one oh three five you can call it. Text 15 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 2: the same number. My wife, who's twenty nine and I. 16 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: He's a thirty one year old male, have a three 17 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 2: year old son. I think some people can relate to this. 18 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 2: I work ten to twelve hour days as a contractor 19 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 2: while she's days home. Lately, she's been ventcing online into 20 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 2: friends saying that she feels like a single mom because 21 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 2: I'm never around. This is from the perspective of the 22 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 2: I'm the guy who works all the time. 23 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: I get this. 24 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 2: She's overwhelmed. I am too, but I'm working my butt 25 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 2: off to keep us afloat. The other night, I heard 26 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 2: her refer to herself as a solo parent during a 27 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 2: zoom call with her mom. After she hung up, I 28 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 2: told her that I didn't appreciate that. I'm not partying, 29 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 2: I'm not neglecting our family. I'm working. She said, I'm 30 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 2: being defensive and that she feels like a single mom 31 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 2: because she handles everything alone at home. Now I feel guilty. 32 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 2: I don't want to invalidate her, but I also feel 33 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 2: like she's ignoring everything I do. Am I the ahle 34 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 2: for calling her out? I mean, she's not a single mom. No, 35 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 2: And if it requires ten to twelve hours a day 36 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 2: of this man working to provide their lifestyle, then it 37 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 2: sounds like they're both doing jobs right. He's doing his 38 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 2: job to make money, she's doing her job, which is 39 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 2: a job to raise the kids. But I hear this 40 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 2: argument sometimes when one person's at home and the other 41 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 2: person's at work, and that's a decision that was made 42 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 2: within the relationship that this is how we're going to 43 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 2: do this. And I hear this sometimes like, oh, it 44 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 2: must be nice, and I think that you can. 45 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. 46 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: I don't think one side always sees the other side, 47 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 2: you know, cause it's like my buddies that travel, I 48 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 2: pilot buddies. Right, they're gone for you know, a week 49 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 2: at a time. They've always been this for thirty years, right, 50 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 2: It's been this way forever. And then they come back 51 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 2: and it's like it must have been nice to be 52 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 2: and you know, Dubai for a week must have been nice. 53 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 2: I was out here making lunches and driving a soccer 54 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 2: practice and it's like, well, first of all, you know, 55 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 2: maybe maybe it was nice in some regards, but in 56 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 2: other regards, like this is my life. I got, I 57 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 2: got aluminum, platinum, diamond, gold. You know, I'm the biggest 58 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 2: badass status at Hilton because I don't sleep in my house. Right, Like, 59 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 2: anytime you see somebody who'd like they when they check in, 60 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 2: someone hands them a bottle of champagne and like kisses 61 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 2: their feet. At first, I'm like, Wow, they're going to 62 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 2: get a really nice room. And then I'm like, in 63 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 2: order to get that, they don't ever get to go home, right, Right, 64 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 2: So my buddies. I talk about this all the time. 65 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 2: He's like, you know, I would much ray to be 66 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 2: here with my family. I would much try to be 67 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 2: here on my terms. But I'm here because the boss 68 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,359 Speaker 2: needs to be here. And if the boss calls me 69 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 2: right now says we're leaving, we're leaving, which means I'm 70 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 2: not at the bar. You know, I'm not partying, I'm 71 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 2: not on a I'm not riding a camel, you know, 72 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 2: or whatever. 73 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: Like this is not my vacation. 74 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 2: This is work, and I don't get to choose when 75 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,399 Speaker 2: or where or how or any of it. And so yeah, 76 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 2: I guess I'd get to sleep in a hotel bed 77 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 2: and sleep in sometimes and eat room service. But at 78 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 2: the same time, maybe I would rather be driving to 79 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 2: soccer practice. And then on the flip side, you know, 80 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 2: you've got the people going, you know, on the side 81 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 2: of the person who's doing all that, it's like, well, 82 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 2: maybe i'd like the night out sometimes or the night away, 83 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 2: or maybe I'd like the exposure to adults. Yes, you know, 84 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 2: I'd like to be able to go to I would 85 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 2: like to go to work for eight ten hours a day. 86 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: And you know, I know people who in this case, 87 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 2: HiT's the man who goes to work and the wife 88 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 2: keeps a part time job, and it actually costs them 89 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 2: money for her to go to work as a flight attendant. 90 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: I've used this example before. 91 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 2: But they do it anyway because like, for him to 92 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 2: a home, he makes three times what she does as 93 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 2: a pilot, So for her to go to work costs money, 94 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 2: But they do it anyway because for her, it's like, 95 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 2: this is my independence, this is my job, this is 96 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 2: part of my identity. I want to go on a trip, 97 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 2: I want to hang out with adults. I want to 98 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 2: make a little bit of money. 99 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 3: He's cool for that, right, Yeah. 100 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 2: But I just I think that this sort of argument 101 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,039 Speaker 2: fundamentally is based on one side not seeing the other, 102 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 2: or one side wanting some elements that the other side. 103 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 2: I think everybody wants a little bit of the other thing. 104 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 2: But I'm just curious for those of you who deal 105 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 2: with this. If one person's primarily raising kids and one 106 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 2: person's primarily working, do you really think you could say that? 107 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 2: Is that a fair thing to say out loud? Because 108 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 2: it makes it solo parent kind of implies that the 109 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 2: other parent isn't involved or doesn't care. It's like deadbeat, 110 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 2: it's giving deadbeat, it is, but it's the exact opposite. 111 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 4: Also, like, if you feel that way, it's not the 112 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 4: time to get it out on a zoom call when 113 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,039 Speaker 4: it can just be overheard by your partner. And what's 114 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,159 Speaker 4: sad is I think it takes both people to make 115 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 4: the raising the children work. 116 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 3: It does, you know, And comparison is the thief of joy. 117 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 2: So yeah, I just I and if I heard I heard, 118 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 2: If this is me and I heard my wife saying 119 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 2: this to her mom, that's even worse because it's like 120 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 2: you're telling your mom that I'm basically a bad dad. 121 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:15,119 Speaker 5: True. 122 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: You know, I don't like to l is it l 123 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: or Ellie? This l how you doing? 124 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 2: So this scenario here, it's like you've got the dad 125 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 2: working twelve hours a day. In this case, you've got 126 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 2: the mom at home and the mom feels like she's 127 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 2: a single parent, and the dad's like, hey, at first 128 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 2: he was upset, Now he feels guilty. But I don't 129 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 2: necessarily think that's a fair thing to say. 130 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 6: About him, not at all as a truly solo parent. 131 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 6: This just makes me so angry. I'm actually shaking because 132 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 6: she's still like she's not has to work, she's not 133 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:52,039 Speaker 6: worried about the bills herself. She's getting support in some way, 134 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,279 Speaker 6: shape or form, even though he might not be present. 135 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 6: So it's just it's just not something that you can 136 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 6: just say like that, because she's just not even realized 137 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 6: in the impact she's getting from having that man in 138 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 6: her life. 139 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that would trigger me too, because what 140 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 2: about the people who are in fact solo parents and 141 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 2: it all falls on them. They have to somehow figure 142 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 2: out a way to pay for the you know, pay 143 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 2: pay the bills and the mortgage and the rats and 144 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 2: the food and be at soccer practice and figure out 145 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 2: the logistics of the rest of that. I mean, and 146 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,159 Speaker 2: I'm I'm not minimizing one or the other, but for you, 147 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 2: you have to figure out both. 148 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 6: Yeah, and not to minimize it either, because she still 149 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 6: has to step up in ways that maybe she didn't 150 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 6: anticipate when they originally decided to have a child. But 151 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 6: I mean, I remember when I just had a three 152 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 6: month old and I couldn't even just go to the bathroom, 153 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 6: I couldn't just go down the street and get a coffee. Like, 154 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 6: there's just so much you don't realize that actually happens 155 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 6: when you are a truly solo parent. 156 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, thank you so much. 157 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 7: She's definitely the a hole in this one. 158 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, fair enough, I'll let her know. 159 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 8: Thank you, Thank you guys, love your show. 160 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: Thank you, love you too. Yeah. 161 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 9: I mean it's a good point that you've made though, too, 162 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,599 Speaker 9: where it's like you look at one side, look at 163 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 9: the other side right like you got it better. I 164 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 9: know you got it better, but I think it's also 165 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 9: like for my personal experience, from my experience, I feel 166 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,559 Speaker 9: like I'm looking at it that what does his husband 167 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 9: do when he comes home? Is he playing video games? 168 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 9: Is he disassociating from his family? I know the ten 169 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 9: to twelve hour shifts are long, and they're lengthy and hard, 170 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 9: but I feel like they can at least come home right, 171 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 9: play with the kids, make dinner, like help out, because 172 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 9: I think then that would take less off of the 173 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 9: mom who is home all day with the kids. 174 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 10: You know what I mean? 175 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 1: But let me ge. 176 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 2: Okay, So there's a question. I don't know the answer. 177 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 2: I'm asking like an open ended question, but is it 178 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 2: fair for someone who worked ten hours a day to 179 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 2: then come home and take an hour to decompress. Yeah, 180 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 2: because what I think. I think sometimes it's like, yeah, 181 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 2: you yes, you were at home with the kids all day, 182 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 2: But then am I expected And I don't know the answer, 183 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 2: but am I expected to just after my ten hour 184 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 2: day walk in and then just take over the parenting 185 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 2: role and then you get a break? I don't know 186 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 2: the answer to that, But like I think, sometimes there's 187 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 2: not a respect for what the other one's doing. It's 188 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 2: like I just went to work. I just sat in 189 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 2: traffic for an hour, right, Yeah, I just had Spin 190 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 2: up on me all day and watched Miss Rachel for 191 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 2: the thirty seven times. 192 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: Sounds like me, you know what I mean. 193 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 2: So it's like I don't know, I've heard that one 194 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 2: before where that guy comes home he said he wants 195 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 2: to go to bed. 196 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: And it's not that I don't know that he's. 197 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 2: A bad guy or a bad girl or whatever, but 198 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,239 Speaker 2: like you're only capable of so much. 199 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 9: Yeah, communicate, I think at a community with the partner. 200 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 9: How are you feeling this moment? Hey, I just walked 201 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 9: in the house, like, give me, you know, thirty minutes 202 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 9: and then I think, just you got to. 203 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 7: Work it out. 204 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: It's hard, but you got to balance it some way. Melissa. 205 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 8: Yeah, good morning. 206 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 1: Day, Melissa, good morning, welcome. 207 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 8: What do you think so, I think the dad here, 208 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,959 Speaker 8: it's definitely not the a hole. She just needs to 209 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 8: reorganize her thinking to be able to include him or 210 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 8: incorporate him with more parental responsibilities. Like you said, they're 211 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 8: both performing a job. Here is the financial income, the 212 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 8: financial stability, the security there. She is providing the parenting here, 213 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,719 Speaker 8: whether she wants it or not. Is that's something that 214 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 8: she kind of normally agree to that, that's just the 215 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 8: way it is. If she's not reporting somewhere to go 216 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 8: to and provide the same wy he does, then she's 217 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 8: not the solo parent here. She's just they're just providing 218 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 8: different job aspects of the family part the being at home, 219 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 8: that being the parent like the absent or the present parent. 220 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 8: She's just the main go to right now for him physically, 221 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 8: but the dad is definitely there to provide for them. 222 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, Melissa, thank you. Have a good day. 223 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 8: Absolutely, because I feel like. 224 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 2: Sometimes people would switch roles even like I know, I'll 225 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,319 Speaker 2: tell you what you think you think it's so great 226 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 2: you know doing this and the other that you think 227 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,079 Speaker 2: it's so great you know, going to work and dealing 228 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 2: with these idiots, like how about I stay home and 229 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 2: I'll take care of my kids, because you know, I 230 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: think the other thing that's sort of negated here is 231 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 2: like maybe he loves I'm sure he loves his kids too, 232 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 2: and I'm sure he would rather be at soccer practice 233 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,679 Speaker 2: or being the coach, or going to the games, or 234 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 2: or feeding the kids or whatever. I'm sure there's bonding 235 00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 2: time that he's missing, right, So it probably has moments 236 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 2: where it's like, Okay, cool, kids crying, I gotta go 237 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:02,439 Speaker 2: to work. 238 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: Bye. You deal with it. 239 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 2: But then I'm sure it also has moments where it's like, man, 240 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 2: I can't believe I'm missing that. But if he were there, 241 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 2: then who's making the money to pay the bills? In 242 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,599 Speaker 2: this case? You know, you can you could flip it 243 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 2: and it could be the other way around. It's like 244 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 2: the grass is always greener. I feel like Ashley hi 245 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 2: O in this scenario, if you're just tuning in, there's 246 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 2: a woman and this is from the male perspective, but 247 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 2: he heard his wife saying that she is a solo 248 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 2: parent because he works ten to twelve hours a day, 249 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 2: and she's telling people this like her mom and friends, 250 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 2: and he's offended and then he sort of vacillates on Well, 251 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 2: so I feel bad for saying something to her or not. 252 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 2: But this is the agreement that we came up with. 253 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 2: I work in a traditional setting. I pay the bills 254 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 2: and you take care of the kids. That doesn't make 255 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 2: you a solo parent. What do you think? 256 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,559 Speaker 11: No, she is absolutely wrong saying that she's a solo parent. 257 00:10:57,679 --> 00:10:59,319 Speaker 3: I think is just really hurtful. 258 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 11: Have a two year old and a baby on the 259 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 11: way in three weeks, and my husband has a traveling 260 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 11: job and his travel is sporadic. 261 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 8: He can up and go. 262 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 11: And I only have a week or a couple of 263 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 11: weeks notice, and sometimes he's gone, you know what seems 264 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 11: like half a month and sometimes it's less. By no 265 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 11: means am I a solo parent at all. It is 266 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:26,959 Speaker 11: very hard, especially with two small kids. But we had 267 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 11: a conversation, and I knew his work before we made 268 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 11: these decisions, and we have to continue to have conversations 269 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 11: about Hey, is do we need to make a change? 270 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 11: And I know job changes and things like that they're 271 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 11: not easy at all, but is it Do I need 272 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 11: to go part time? Do we want does he want 273 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 11: to be home or do we need to make a 274 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 11: change there, or do we need to make a lifestyle change, 275 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 11: you know with you know home or otherwise, And those 276 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 11: are big change and really tough decisions. But if it's 277 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 11: bothering her that much, it's definitely a conversation. 278 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 8: Because she's not a. 279 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 3: Solo parent at all. 280 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 11: I will say that like, oh I'm I'm I'm solo 281 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 11: this week. My husband's gone and we have a village 282 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 11: that helps me out. So it's just you got to 283 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 11: talk about options, there was ways to work things out. 284 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 11: I'm with her, it's not easy, especially with two kids. Yeah, 285 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 11: being super pregnant, but by no means and my solo 286 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 11: mom and that's really hurtful to say about her husband. 287 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 2: Yeah us, thank you for sharing. Congratulations by the way 288 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 2: on the new one. In a couple of weeks. 289 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 3: Making more listeners, we got to get bither. 290 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,559 Speaker 2: In my understanding is as soon as that baby's boy, 291 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 2: is it boy or girl? 292 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 7: Girl? 293 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 8: This time? 294 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 2: Apparently Jessica listener number eleven is moving to like microneese 295 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 2: or something, and like the I don't know if there's 296 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,719 Speaker 2: a jungle there, but im my understanding it's some form 297 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 2: of jungle and there's no internet, so we lost her. 298 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 2: So the baby just so we'll never be more than thirteen. 299 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 2: So don't even try and get greedy. 300 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,959 Speaker 8: Okay, Okay, you gonna start. 301 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 5: We'll let you guys start the whole Matt leave. 302 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: I like it. 303 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 2: Thanks, you have a good day, Ashley. Thank you that 304 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,439 Speaker 2: we keep adding cities and we only have the same 305 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:24,079 Speaker 2: number of listeners. Hey, Linda, good morning, Hi doing great, 306 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 2: Thanks for calling, Thanks for listening. So I'm gonna give 307 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 2: you the final say here. And someone brought up military 308 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 2: families too, by the way, which I mean there's one. 309 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 2: It's like people gone for you know, Shelley's husband gone 310 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 2: for two three months at a time, longer years at 311 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 2: a time, sometimes depending on what's going on. And does 312 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 2: that make that person any any less of a parent? 313 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 2: I would argue, No, they're they're they're doing what they 314 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 2: gotta do. What do you think, right, Well, I think. 315 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,559 Speaker 10: The hardest part of this, this whole argument, is that 316 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 10: the role of motherhood is always somehow less stressful than 317 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 10: going to work for twelve hours. My ex husband was 318 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,959 Speaker 10: an air trafficker, one of the most stressful jobs. 319 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: In the world. 320 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 10: As you might know, and you know, I'm at home 321 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 10: with two kids under two, and all I want to 322 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 10: do is take a shower. 323 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 3: That's all I want to do is take a shower. 324 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 10: And so you know, he comes home from work and yeah, 325 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 10: he wants to unwind, and yeah, you know, he's not 326 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 10: really interested in two screaming, you know, two year olds. 327 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I need you. 328 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 10: To acknowledge that my job is as important as yours, 329 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 10: and I just need to take a shower. And so 330 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 10: there was always that, there was always that argument of 331 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 10: whose job is more important, and they both are. 332 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: They both are important. 333 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 10: But for me, I felt that as a mother, a 334 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 10: stay at home mother, my job was made less important 335 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,200 Speaker 10: because of the importance of his job in the world. 336 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 10: And so I was just like, you know, can I 337 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 10: have five minutes him He's like, well, you know, I've 338 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 10: been busy all day and you know, my brain, I 339 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 10: you can't even think. And I'm like, I understand that, 340 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 10: and he's like, well, you've been home all day, you know, 341 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 10: as if that's a vacation. So I think in the 342 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 10: world in general, we need to give mothers credit for 343 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 10: how hard it is to be a mom full time, 344 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 10: and it is just as important, and it is just 345 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 10: as taxing at times, especially. 346 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 3: With two hundred two. 347 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, but you know I hate in 348 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 2: his defense, he's been dealing with you know, screaming pilots 349 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 2: all day. Then, are just the same as baby audible hair. 350 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:37,440 Speaker 2: Yeah right, it's Kiki's court, all right, The honorable Kiak 351 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 2: is here taking away judge Kiki. 352 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 12: All right, let's get into the courtroom. It says Kiki, 353 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 12: am I wrong for getting a DNA test on my 354 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 12: daughter because I didn't believe she was mine. My wife 355 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 12: and I have been together for ten years, married for 356 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 12: six We tried for years to have a baby, and 357 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 12: for years we were faced with struggles. But back in December, 358 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 12: we were finally blessed with our baby girl. I was shocked, excited, 359 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 12: but if I'm honest, I had a little bit of 360 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 12: doubt in my mind that the baby could really be mine, 361 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 12: just because we tried for so long and had no success. 362 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,360 Speaker 12: To make matters worse, when my daughter was born, she 363 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 12: didn't really look like me. Even my own mother started 364 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 12: making comments about how she didn't really look like us 365 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 12: at all, different hair texture, eye color, and more. Eventually, 366 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 12: my mom suggested that I buy an at home DNA 367 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 12: test and test my daughter without telling my wife. Thankfully, 368 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 12: the results confirmed she is mine, and I felt a 369 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 12: huge sense of relief and was ready to move on 370 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 12: with our lives. But last week my wife found out 371 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 12: she was shopping online and saw the DNA test in 372 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 12: our recent purchase history. 373 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: And now she's not speaking to me. 374 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 12: She's sleeping in the gas room and says that our 375 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 12: trust is forever broken. It really wasn't a trust thing 376 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 12: for me, but more of my anxiety just getting the 377 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 12: best of me. Am I wrong for doing what I 378 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 12: felt was necessary to make me feel secure? 379 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: Judge Kicky would say. 380 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 12: You, oh, you dare wrong? You are so wrong, My boy, 381 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 12: you are wrong or you're wrong. 382 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,479 Speaker 2: You know, I gotta be smarter about hiding the evidence 383 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 2: of my opinion. I am a you do what you 384 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: gotta do, but people can't find out about it. You 385 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,880 Speaker 2: can like you share the Amazon. 386 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 1: What are we doing? 387 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 12: I mean, I'm a technically single woman, but even yes, 388 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 12: I am Jason, Like if I said. 389 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: Where he's asleep? 390 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, we find out that big Tip works all night, 391 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 2: which is why there's no chance that he'll hear any 392 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:26,200 Speaker 2: of this racket. 393 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a smart man. 394 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 12: But I would never do something like this and not 395 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 12: talk about it with my partner, Like, I feel what. 396 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 2: Are you supposed to say, Kiky, Like, hey, you just said, 397 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 2: I don't think this kid looks like me. I'm pretty 398 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 2: sure that somebody else inseminated you. 399 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: No, I mean like, I don't. 400 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,439 Speaker 2: I don't think that you can have that comp I 401 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 2: mean that that wouldn't that be worse than just doing 402 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,959 Speaker 2: this on the side and not telling anybody to appease 403 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,880 Speaker 2: what you know to be your own insecurity. 404 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,120 Speaker 1: If you're gonna do it, do it well, bro. 405 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 12: You can't do it on the same wallbrings account like 406 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 12: you should have, you have somebody else by you, but 407 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 12: actually a something You should be able to talk to 408 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 12: your partner about this, Like if you're having insecurities, if 409 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 12: you're having doubts, if there's something going on, you could say, 410 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 12: my mind's playing tricks on me, like can we fix this? 411 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:12,680 Speaker 1: Can we figure it out? 412 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,679 Speaker 12: But to do this behind her back, and then you 413 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 12: and your mama and cahoots and then nobody told me anything. 414 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:21,640 Speaker 12: Y'all over your DNA testing my child? Oh my yes, 415 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,680 Speaker 12: I'm asleep in the guest room. You better be glad 416 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 12: you're still alive. 417 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: Yes, And babies don't look like anybody like I'm so sick. 418 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 9: A many people are like, this baby looks more like 419 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 9: babies look like babies. 420 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 11: Okay, you're gonna look at a baby and be like, 421 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 11: this doesn't look like me, Like it's a baby. 422 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 1: It's a baby. They need to cook even like grown. 423 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 6: Yeah. 424 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,880 Speaker 2: No, I mixed on this, you guys. So I'm supposed 425 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,719 Speaker 2: to bring all of my insecurities into the relationship, Like 426 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 2: I'm supposed to sit down and be like, I think 427 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 2: you cheated on me and created a baby. Or if 428 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 2: I'm this crazy in my mind Loki like cabay side, 429 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,680 Speaker 2: then I just go figure it out on my own 430 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 2: and then hopefully you never find out. Then I'm a 431 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 2: crazy person and that's on me and I needed some reassurance. 432 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 3: You are okay with this. 433 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 1: It's gonna end. 434 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 2: It would potentially end the relationship to sit down and 435 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 2: accuse the mother of your child of cheating because simply 436 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:12,679 Speaker 2: because you're insecure. 437 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 1: No no, no, no. 438 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,600 Speaker 12: See he could have came to her and said, you know, 439 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 12: my mind, is something going on with my mind after 440 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 12: having this baby. We've been through so many struggles like 441 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 12: help me ease my mind, wife, you. 442 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:29,639 Speaker 2: Know, but what damage to this do if he's just 443 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 2: confirming what he already wants to know, Like, what is it? 444 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: What damage has really taken? 445 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 2: I mean, either way, either way he's saying I don't 446 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,679 Speaker 2: trust my wife, whether he sits down and talks to 447 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 2: her or gets a DNA test. Either way he's saying 448 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 2: I don't trust you, which means there's an overarching, a 449 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 2: larger issue going on here. 450 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 12: But you can't trust now. I can never trust you 451 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 12: or your mama. I don't know what y'all will do. 452 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 12: You know now you're forever. I'm always looking at you 453 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,400 Speaker 12: with a side eye because you had this whole operation 454 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 12: on the side of our marriage and never mention it 455 00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 12: to me. 456 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,120 Speaker 2: You just gotta be smarter about it. You just gotta 457 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,199 Speaker 2: not get caught, is what this says. If you're if 458 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 2: you got insecurities and you want answers, and you can 459 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 2: get them and no one ever has to, no one's 460 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 2: ever the wiser, then you go get those answers and 461 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,920 Speaker 2: you make sure you never get caught. That's it, Oh 462 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,159 Speaker 2: my Lanta eight five five five five, Well, because like 463 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,199 Speaker 2: I don't I don't know if you're gonna live with this. 464 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 2: If you are, if you believe this, and you have 465 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 2: no evidence, no evidence whatsoever, and this is something that 466 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,959 Speaker 2: you just have to clear your mind about. And I 467 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 2: sit down, I say, Kiki, is that kid mine? I 468 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 2: want a DNA test. I'm saying you're a cheater for 469 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 2: no reason. 470 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 12: No, because you know you can say postpartum men go 471 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,440 Speaker 12: through postpartum two. 472 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 1: Stop it. 473 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 12: You know you could, like I'm just saying, he would 474 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 12: have to me. You could have blamed it on your 475 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 12: mental health, and I would have worked with you. But 476 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 12: the fact that you're on here. 477 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,159 Speaker 2: You a cheater even if my mental health is off, 478 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 2: which my mental health is always off. And you knew 479 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 2: that when I when we got when we hotel. 480 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 12: Call me a cheated to my face, now behind my back. Okay, Collina, 481 00:20:58,960 --> 00:20:59,919 Speaker 12: what would you do if Poppy did? 482 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 6: Uh? 483 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,640 Speaker 9: Well, I'm taking a grave at the cemetery because Dad 484 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 9: is like, I'm already postpart I'm already going through everything. 485 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,400 Speaker 9: I cooked this baby for nine months and you're accusing 486 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 9: me of that. Sometimes I look at my daughter, though 487 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 9: I don't even know if she's mine, because she looks 488 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 9: nothing like me, even like just like her beautiful, like 489 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,239 Speaker 9: you know, skin texture, everything, her color. I'm like, oh 490 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 9: my god, like, are you even my baby? But I 491 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 9: might have to But if how he ever asked me that, 492 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 9: or him and his mother went behind my back, I 493 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,440 Speaker 9: don't even know what's worse. To be honest, I don't 494 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 9: know if you're going behind my back room just straight 495 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 9: up telling me I want a DNA test. 496 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,399 Speaker 2: You cannot get caught. If you're going to do this, 497 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 2: you cannot get caught. That's really what this comes down to, 498 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:39,880 Speaker 2: is you just simply cannot get caught. Hey, Chloe, Hi, Chloe, 499 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,880 Speaker 2: Welcome to Kekey's court on The Fred Show. 500 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:42,960 Speaker 1: What It Did a situation. 501 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 2: Dude is insecure because he doesn't think that his kid 502 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:49,360 Speaker 2: is his, and so despite the fact that he has 503 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,679 Speaker 2: no evidence of her cheating whatsoever, he wins and he 504 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 2: and his mom went and had a DNA test to 505 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,000 Speaker 2: prove that in fact, the kid was his and ideos 506 00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 2: and then his wife found out because he was a dummy, 507 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 2: and he bought all want a shared account, dummy? 508 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:03,920 Speaker 1: But what do you think? 509 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 7: I don't know, Like, honestly, I think probably you should 510 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 7: go because there's like so many things that are wrong 511 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 7: in this situation. For me, one, you say that, oh, 512 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,440 Speaker 7: I had to do it because my anxiety was so bad. Okay, 513 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 7: So like, if you struggle with mental health, you should 514 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 7: be talking with your partner about that, and you should 515 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 7: probably have a therapist because chances are if you were 516 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 7: talking with your therapist about all of this, you would 517 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:31,360 Speaker 7: not have needed to buy the maternity test. Second issue, 518 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,320 Speaker 7: what is mom in law doing? Like, there are things 519 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 7: that you like say, and then there are things that 520 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 7: you don't say, and it seems like mom in law 521 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 7: is a little bit of a hater and there's just 522 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 7: like something you just don't tell your kids about their 523 00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,439 Speaker 7: other partners, you know, Like if my mom has some 524 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 7: opinions about my husband, I tell her, yeah, thank you, 525 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 7: keep them to yourself and let's keep it moving. But 526 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,360 Speaker 7: I feel like this is also pretty severe where you're like, yeah, 527 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 7: I don't think the care yours either, Like what. 528 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, Chloe thinking, No, I'm glad you called, thanks for listening, 529 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 2: have a good day. 530 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:09,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. 531 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,880 Speaker 2: I mean, look, I'm a thinker, you know, I let 532 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 2: my mind get the best of me. I have my insecurities. 533 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 2: I wouldn't say, you know, this would hopefully be one 534 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 2: of them. But if I need to rest my mind 535 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 2: over something that I know is ridiculous, I've got two choices. 536 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 2: I can either it's either mind ever matter or I 537 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 2: control I control it. And I said this is ridiculous, 538 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 2: and I have to talk to myself and say, hey, hey, Fred, 539 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 2: this is like you're a crazy person and this is 540 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 2: a crazy thought, and move past it. And if I 541 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 2: simply cannot do that, I don't need to torture you 542 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 2: and sit down and accuse you of being a bad person. 543 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,120 Speaker 2: I get answers on my own. 544 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: And get caught. I already said, don't get caught. 545 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 3: How could you live with yourself if you did that 546 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 3: in secret? 547 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:50,400 Speaker 7: Though? 548 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 2: See, I could live with myself a lot better than 549 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,360 Speaker 2: sitting down and accusing a person who I don't really 550 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 2: think cheated cheated because I'm a crazy person. 551 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 3: But if you don't really think the cheated, then why 552 00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,439 Speaker 3: do you need the test? 553 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 2: You've never had a thought that just was unreasonable, that 554 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 2: just didn't add up. 555 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,640 Speaker 3: Of course I have, but I would share that. I wouldn't. 556 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 3: I wouldn't get my book. 557 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,000 Speaker 2: Project like I know that if I really have no 558 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 2: evidence of you cheating, and I sit you down and 559 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 2: I accuse you of cheating. That isn't quite the accusation. 560 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 2: When I know I'm a crazy person, so I can 561 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 2: put my mind to rest. Mine is rested. You just 562 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,479 Speaker 2: take it caught. Okay, Oh someone said you were lying here. 563 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 2: Hold on a second, you say, kick you out here? 564 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,159 Speaker 2: Lying like a living room rug. Wanted to gotta be 565 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 2: upfront about it. See, I don't think that's an answer. 566 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 2: I simply don't think that's that's not an option. 567 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 12: You're right, I'm lying. 568 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: I want him to go sneak around my back, behind 569 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 1: my back? What is mama? Yeah, nothing exactly. Yeah, Like, 570 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 1: I can't want him to be honest. 571 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,719 Speaker 2: I'm not saying any of this is good, but I 572 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 2: can't just project every insecurity I have on too my partner. 573 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 1: That's not fair to my partner. 574 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 4: But you can do it without saying someone cheated. You 575 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 4: could say, hey, i'm having these thoughts. I know there's baby, 576 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:56,879 Speaker 4: it's not mine. 577 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,880 Speaker 1: That means another dude put his stuff in there. 578 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 4: No, you could say I know you didn't cheat, but like, 579 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,199 Speaker 4: I have been hurt in the past and this is 580 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,119 Speaker 4: what's coming up for me. 581 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 3: You could have a conversation without accusing someone. 582 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,640 Speaker 1: If I didn't think you cheated, then we don't need 583 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:10,639 Speaker 1: the test. I don't know. 584 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 2: This one is one that's gonna be tough to work around. 585 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 2: I don't think you can communicate that without I think 586 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:22,400 Speaker 2: that's equally hurtful, maybe more hurtful. Wow, And you could 587 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 2: also a lot of people were suggesting that you just 588 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 2: blame it on mom in law, just get hurt. 589 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 1: Just hey my mom. 590 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,920 Speaker 3: I don't know relationship. 591 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 1: I couldn't get her to shut up. 592 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:37,560 Speaker 2: I couldn't Hey, Polly, Polly, Hi, Polly, not my niece. 593 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 2: My niece is not yet doesn't have an opinion on 594 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,920 Speaker 2: this yet. She's for what would you do here? 595 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 1: What? What's what? How do you get around this? What? 596 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 1: What do you say? What do you do? 597 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 5: I mean I would leave. Honestly, this sucks because they've 598 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,200 Speaker 5: been trying so long to have this kid and then 599 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 5: she finally has a kid and this shit all happens. 600 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 5: But the mother in law is a bigger problem than 601 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 5: we're talking about here, because why is she why is 602 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,120 Speaker 5: she acting this on, why is she adding to this? 603 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 5: She's probably getting in her son's head, like honestly, that's 604 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 5: probably part of it as well. So I think she 605 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,200 Speaker 5: has to go because there's a whole baggage here. 606 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,359 Speaker 1: It seems like, yeah, be honest to my mom. 607 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 2: I'd hope she talk me out of it, right, you know, 608 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 2: I hope is that's crazy? You know, like, let's someone 609 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 2: just texted my kid didn't look like me until my 610 00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 2: kid was ten or something. 611 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 1: So like, I don't know that that's you know, I 612 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:32,719 Speaker 1: don't know. 613 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,400 Speaker 2: I think sometimes you gotta take you gotta you gotta uh. 614 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 2: You cannot just put everything else that you're feeling onto 615 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 2: other people simply because you're feeling it. You kind of 616 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 2: have to like sometimes have control over your thoughts and 617 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,080 Speaker 2: and and so I don't know that necessarily putting that 618 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 2: on her is something you would ever recover from. But 619 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 2: then again, I think getting caught in this case is 620 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 2: not something you're ever going to get going to recover from. 621 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,120 Speaker 1: So I don't know there's a point of no return here. Yeah, 622 00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: he just can't get cold. 623 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree, either way he would have been he 624 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 5: should be gone, okay if he older or if he 625 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 5: didn't tell her. 626 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 1: You know, thank you, Polly, I appreciate it. Have a 627 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 1: good day you too. Just don't get friend. I don't 628 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 1: know about that. This is the Fred Show. 629 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,399 Speaker 2: We have your chance to win a trip for two 630 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,120 Speaker 2: to see Kelly Clarkson's return to Las Vegas for her 631 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,959 Speaker 2: brand new residency studio Sessions live in the Coliseum at 632 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 2: Secrets Palace on August first. Text Sessions to three seven 633 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,880 Speaker 2: three three seven now for a chance to win two 634 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 2: tickets to the August first show, two nights hotels day 635 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 2: July thirty first to August second at the Flamingo, Las Vegas, 636 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 2: and round trip Bearfair. A confirmation text to be sent 637 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 2: standard message to data rates apply. 638 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:43,880 Speaker 1: All thanks to the Live Nation