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Speaker 1: Today, I effed up by accidentally shooting a baby into

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Speaker 1: the girl behind me at Starbucks, and now I have twins. Okop,

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Speaker 1: this is Okayop. I'm Samuel Daughter and I'm John Fry

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Speaker 1: and we tell the funniest stories on the Internet. And John,

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Speaker 1: I have a title that is going to real your mind.

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Speaker 1: Today I efed up by accidentally shooting a baby into

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Speaker 1: the girl behind me at Starbucks, and now I have twins.

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Speaker 2: So many questions, how does that work? It comes to mind,

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Speaker 2: how is that possible? And also just in the list

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Speaker 2: of things you don't want to have happened to you,

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Speaker 2: just right right at the top, I would say.

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Speaker 1: So this started a little over a month ago. I

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Speaker 1: was getting a white mocha because I wanted to get

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Speaker 1: my girl on. I ordered the drink and the girl

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Speaker 1: behind me giggled. I set, I turned and said, what

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Speaker 1: I like them? They make me want to get my

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Speaker 1: han solo on and buy leggings, a vest and some uggs,

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Speaker 1: which is like the nerdiest way to respond. I turn

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Speaker 1: around and guess what she has on? Oh God, that

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Speaker 1: exact outfit. So I give a nervous laugh, insert foot

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Speaker 1: into mouth, and ask if I could buy her a

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Speaker 1: drink to make up for being an a hole. She agrees,

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Speaker 1: and we keep talking as we wait for our drinks.

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Speaker 1: One thing leads to another and we exchange numbers. Oh yeah, texts.

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Speaker 1: We talk a few dates, Corona be damned. Things are

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Speaker 1: going well. Then she comes over to.

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Speaker 3: Watch a movie.

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Speaker 1: Well, one thing leads to another. She trips, I fall,

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Speaker 1: and we knock the old boots together. We keep talking

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Speaker 1: and things seem to be getting pretty serious. And then

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Speaker 1: a few days later, no response. Two weeks, no response,

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Speaker 1: three weeks no response. Oh wail, family, it's official. AH

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Speaker 1: have been ghosted.

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Speaker 2: Oh goodness.

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Speaker 1: I guess things were not as good as I thought

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Speaker 1: they were, and maybe I should have just come out

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Speaker 1: there and just try to make a friend instead of

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Speaker 1: trying to knock boots. I got another white mocha and decided, well,

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Speaker 1: let me see what happened. Maybe I said or did something.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I can learn for this, for future relationships and

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Speaker 1: friendships and everything in between. So I texted ay, Hey,

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Speaker 1: wanted to see how you were and if we could talk,

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Speaker 1: and she responded, yes, I've been meaning to respond, but

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Speaker 1: mind if I come over intrigue Okay? I agreed, and

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Speaker 1: she came over. I asked her everything was all right

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Speaker 1: and how she was feeling. Her response was kind of tired.

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Speaker 1: Was late for work and that's not the only thing

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Speaker 1: I was late for. Oh no, f my life, I

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Speaker 1: have never wanted kids. It is a personal decision I

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Speaker 1: made years ago and have done everything but get surgery

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Speaker 1: to ensure it never happened. Oh God, except this time.

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Speaker 1: This time I was thinking with the wrong head. We've

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Speaker 1: all been there, fellas. So we had a little talk.

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Speaker 1: Both of us are scared out of her minds and

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Speaker 1: despite my efforts my whole life, I will be having

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Speaker 1: a baby with her. I left the decision to her

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Speaker 1: and gave my full support for whatever she did and

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Speaker 1: did not push her one way or the other for

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Speaker 1: a results. We have yet to tell our families, being

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Speaker 1: as we both just found out a day and just

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Speaker 1: to be sure, we got a test and it was

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Speaker 1: the biggest plus sign that I have ever seen. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: it is not a plus sign for my general life

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Speaker 1: direction as it was going. But maybe I could turn

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Speaker 1: these lemons into some baby lemonade. Both families will be

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Speaker 1: told this weekend. And now we were watching a movie

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Speaker 1: seeing about getting food and asked for us will fellas

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Speaker 1: we are officially dated.

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Speaker 3: I only took a pregnancy to get there.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, So maybe it was my f up for

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Speaker 1: not using protection. But I have my white Mocha drink,

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Speaker 1: my happy drink, to help me through it. And guess what,

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Speaker 1: I guess I'll be a father Christmas, just in time

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Speaker 1: for Christmas update, So I figured I would post this

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Speaker 1: here since I told my family. To those who've been

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Speaker 1: helping me with some advice, thank you for this. My

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Speaker 1: original post is on my profile. Don't know how to

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Speaker 1: link it, but it's there. So the TLDR in the

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Speaker 1: last one is I had an unprotected hookup with this

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Speaker 1: girl and now she's pregnant.

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Speaker 3: In keeping it.

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Speaker 1: Now to the update, or continued crap storm as I

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Speaker 1: like to call it, she's about ten weeks a long,

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Speaker 1: which coincides with us being together. We'll still get a

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Speaker 1: paternity to test with the timeline matches, and I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: sure I am the one who got our preggers. Well,

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Speaker 1: things are going well in the face of our relationship.

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Speaker 1: Next month her lease ends and we'll be moving in

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Speaker 1: with me, so my hot Solo will be with her. Chewbacca.

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Speaker 1: Why all these Star War Wars references. Now, last week

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Speaker 1: we went in for an ultra s and as a guy,

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Speaker 1: this was the moment where the crap gets real real quick.

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Speaker 1: So they go through everything and then the image is there.

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Speaker 1: There is my peanut, but something looks a bit off

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Speaker 1: to me. Now I was a guy, you could tell

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Speaker 1: me that this is the Titanic and I would believe

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Speaker 1: it because I could not fathom what I'm seeing. So

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Speaker 1: i's a tech, Hey is that a split screen? And

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Speaker 1: she says no, it's one image. So I asked the

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Speaker 1: reasonable tone, why does it look like there are two?

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Speaker 1: Leah looks at me like I'm the world's biggest idiot.

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Speaker 1: Then the realization dawned on me. So I calmly, with

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Speaker 1: barely any cracking in my voice, ever so souplietly, ever

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Speaker 1: so politely, say.

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Speaker 3: F me, there are two twits. We're having twins. Oh my.

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Speaker 1: The tech started laughing, My girlfriend started to laugh and cry.

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Speaker 1: I saw some black spots because I was ready to faint,

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Speaker 1: but I kept my crap together and drove home. We

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Speaker 1: told our parents the news, friend's family and now read it. Finally,

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Speaker 1: So after almost three and a half months together, my

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Speaker 1: f up continues with not only getting this girl pregnant,

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Speaker 1: but with twins.

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Speaker 3: So the more of the story were protection.

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Speaker 2: Man Hope, he cannot catch a break.

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Speaker 1: He cannot catch out break, and then there's an update

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Speaker 1: to that update. Oh oh, this is my last update.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you for the kind words and support.

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Speaker 1: So this is the madness that has followed these last

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Speaker 1: few months. The pickles kept disappearing. Lea would be ever

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Speaker 1: so helpful helping me look for them. So there was

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Speaker 1: a pickle thief in the house and Lea couldn't figure

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Speaker 1: it out either, but she swears it wasn't her. How

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Speaker 1: can I doubt a pregnant female who says she didn't

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Speaker 1: eat all the pickles, chili cheese dog runs at night

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Speaker 1: at night? Absolutely count me in. I love how Hope.

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Speaker 1: He is just like fully on boards.

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Speaker 2: He's here for it. He's getting all the pickles and

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Speaker 2: chili dogs in.

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Speaker 1: The world crying because my cat looked at her and

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Speaker 1: licked its paw and it was the cutest things ever.

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Speaker 1: I got hugs to cure that, talking to belly, ask

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Speaker 1: if they want to come out. I can ignore that

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Speaker 1: so she doesn't think that. I think she's completely crazy.

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Speaker 1: Covered that we've been living together for a few months now,

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Speaker 1: and our water broke last Saturday. We rushed to the hospital.

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Speaker 1: The usual madness ensued, and a few hours later there

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Speaker 1: were two more people in this world. To stop all doubts,

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Speaker 1: the paternity test was taken, and the crowd at Morey

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Speaker 1: would go nuts. I am the father, So my kiddos

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Speaker 1: were born, healthy and happy. We're all home now, spending

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Speaker 1: the holidays together. And I was the person who never

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Speaker 1: wanted kids. But for the life of me, I can't

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Speaker 1: remember why. I am so full of joy and pride.

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Speaker 1: I've been taking naps with the kiddos and changing diapers.

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Speaker 1: The world's crazy, but my slice of madness keeps me smiling.

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Speaker 1: And I felt I should put an ending to those adventures.

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Speaker 2: That's so cutude, that is literally so wonderful, horrible, that

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Speaker 2: is so like, what what.

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Speaker 3: A great whole.

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Speaker 2: It's so cute, strange, just.

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Speaker 3: Strange journey but beautiful.

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Speaker 2: If only he had gotten you know, a green tea

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Speaker 2: or something around day, it all would have been.

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Speaker 3: All would have been.

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Speaker 1: But with that, you know what should never be different.

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Speaker 1: The fact that you subscribe to this podcastick fall Us

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Speaker 1: and Spotify supports on Patreon.

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Speaker 3: Bra and help us out and we'll see you next time.

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Speaker 3: See you soon.