WEBVTT - Adult Baby Doll with Fortune Feimster 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:05.320 Hi, Catherine, Hey Chelsea. We are fresh off the boat 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:07.760 from my Orka. We took a sailboat all the way 0:00:07.800 --> 0:00:12.160 there from the Pacific coast, so that took us O God, 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:16.880 I don't know. Trace says, yes, you went to Row significantly. 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:19.280 I came home and I told my Bell and Felix, 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:22.319 who worked with me at my house with me in 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.320 concert because I'm doing so much. I told them that 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:28.680 my Spanish was deteriorated in Spain. I think the last 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:31.040 week was the worst because I had three full Spanish 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:35.199 speakers there and well, you also speak Spanish, and I 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:38.000 realized just how basic and fundamental my Spanish is. So 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:40.640 I told him no more speaking English at home. This 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:43.319 We're only speaking Spanish from now on. And so now 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:46.080 I can't understand anything the funk that's happening. I don't 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:48.879 know what she's talking about, but I we're sticking with it, 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:51.800 and I'm learning. Mam Bell is also dual LINGO now 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:54.240 for yeah, Well she I'm just like, listen, We're just 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:57.600 gonna fucking figure it out. She loves to correct me, 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:00.680 so it's perfect. This is a huge a tudity for 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.440 her to put me in my place. It's like a 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:06.520 total status shift. So I am winding up my stand 0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:09.240 up tour. Vaccinated and Horning is coming to a screeching 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:11.000 halt at the end of the year. I have my 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:15.920 last dates coming up, and these are the last opportunities. 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:18.760 You have to also buy merch from the website Chelsea 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.560 Handler dot com if you want Vaccinating Horny merch or 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:25.240 Captain's hats that say We're the Captains now for women only, 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:27.560 our t shirts for men in your family that say 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:30.560 I'm sorry because they should be. I only have a 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:33.360 few dates left. I'm going to be in Wheatland, California, 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:37.400 this Saturday night, and then I'm going to Tucson, Arizona 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:41.840 next weekend. November five is Tucson, November six is Colorado Springs, 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:47.880 and then Rockford, Illinois, Minneapolis, Rosemont, Illinois, two shows in Tampa, 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:53.320 a show in Fort Myers, Florida, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, Concord, 0:01:53.400 --> 0:02:00.760 New Hampshire, Wooster, Mass wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania. Wilkes Berry, Pennsylvania, 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:05.080 there I said it, and then San Diego and Riverside, California, 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:07.680 and then Baltimore, Maryland, and then my very last date 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:11.600 is December six in Reading, Pennsylvania. So this will be 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:13.960 the last of me performing. How do you feel about that? 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:17.680 Very relieved and excited. I mean, I have had a 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:21.440 really fun time touring. I liked my schedule. Three months on, 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:24.080 one month off, three months on, and now these last 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.520 couple of dates, I just have like two shows each weekend, 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:30.040 which is totally doable, and so now my special will 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:31.720 come out. Now I can use these shows to come 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.400 up with my next hour. I just don't know what 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:36.799 I'm going to talk about. Do you try out like 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:39.640 new material as you're sort of closing out of show. Yeah, 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.960 I've been trying out some new material. Yeah, I mean, 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:43.440 it's hard to come up with an hour, so I've 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:45.280 got to really use these dates to do it because 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:46.959 I have all the time, you know what I mean, 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:49.440 Like I could stay on stage for two hours and 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:52.520 screw around, but I've been doing this set for so long. 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:54.440 I'm sorry. I can't stop touching my breast. I have 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:59.280 this weird sports brawn today that's like turning them into 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:01.880 yeah us and I don't like that feeling. And then 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:04.960 they also look like they're coming It's not the right look. 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:07.360 I've already got a unit boo going on too, but 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:09.480 it's more because of my shirt, like the design on 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:12.120 my shirt, which is what's his name, Eddie from my 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:15.960 Iron Maiden brand, But yeah, he's is that a real person? 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.480 Because I mean, I wish so. I love spooky things. 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.359 I'm also hosting the Critics Choice Awards, you guys. That's 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:26.920 exciting on January, Yes, which you'll be aired on what 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:29.480 Never Work is at c W. I'm not sure c 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.720 W great, Yeah, But I do want to talk about 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:34.639 something Katherine, that I learned about you. I want to 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:36.800 say first, I forgive you because on the way over 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:38.720 I forgot I had a COVID test because I'm doing 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:42.360 a TV show in the morning, the Talk, and I 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.040 made a little let us wrap with some ground turkey 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.160 and some onions. And normally when we're doing a podcast, 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:49.520 I wouldn't do that, you know what I mean, I 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:52.200 wouldn't have onions when I'm coming in to speak so 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.480 closely and sit so closely next to you. But as 0:03:55.560 --> 0:04:01.680 you revealed over our vacation, in my worka you bring 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:08.400 hard boiled eggs onto fucking airplanes as a snack, not 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:14.800 two or three like nine trainer. There was a photo 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:18.040 that her husband Brad showed supplied me with. This is 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.960 after my foot breakdown because of people and their bare 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:25.720 feet on planes. I'm still having a massive influx of 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:29.120 pictures of feet out on airplanes, and I just want 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:32.000 to let everyone know if they're wearing socks, that is 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:34.880 not as offensive as a barefoot. It is the bare 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:40.080 foot that is not clevered or clean or hygienic, and 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:43.919 it's inappropriate. It's like a it's disgusting. And they're putting 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:47.320 their feet on stuff like screens. Some people are putting 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:49.520 them on the ceiling. Some people are putting them on 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.680 the windows. It's just gross to have your bare feet exposed, 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.600 and also on a dirty, dirty vessel like an airplane. 0:04:56.240 --> 0:05:00.880 But back to you, I am flabber gas sooner I was, 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:07.160 You're at a flabber gastado because I cannot believe that 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.159 you would think that that is acceptable. That is the 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:14.400 worst smell there is. I know it's pretty bad. I 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.719 have been known to bring a full bag of eggs 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:19.839 on a plane, you know, to share with people. Share. 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:23.480 No one wants to share. It's just like a perfect 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.800 little shot of protein, and I know it's it's pretty bad. 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:31.039 It's pretty heinous. But if you want the protein, get 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:34.680 something else, get a full protein bars make you fart 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:37.000 on planes, I'm convinced, well, they make you fart anyway 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:39.200 and on planes, But the good protein bars actually don't 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.520 make you fart. But there's other ways to get protein, 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:43.800 and you need to find out what they are. I 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:47.840 do love a beef jerky. That's not that great either, 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:50.919 by the way, that smells, so that's better than hard 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:53.800 boiled eggs, though I mean eggs you need to eat 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:56.920 right away so the smell is gone and they're not warm. 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:58.880 And I love hard boiled eggs. I have a whole 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.560 refrigerator of that because that's where they belong, in the 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:06.000 refrigerator at home, not untraveled. Speaking of hard boiled eggs, 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:10.279 I have my longtime girlfriend here today. Her name is well, actually, 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:11.719 why don't you say a few words and see if 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:19.280 anybody can recognize your voice. This is Chelsea's girlfriend. She's 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:22.120 she's not only my girlfriend, she's also in a marriage 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:25.119 and I'm part of their throuble. This is the theme 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:27.080 in my life as I'm a third wheel to lots 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:30.479 of different couples. I know, I know because I put 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:35.560 out left right and sets her. No, No, we haven't 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.480 ever had sex yet, but I'm still we're still in 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:42.360 a throat all, we're in an emotional trouble. It's Fortune Feamster. Everybody. 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:45.400 You may know her from you. We would probably have 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:47.840 been introduced to her on Chelsea Lately, where I was 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:50.520 introduced to her, and now the whole world gets to 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:54.520 enjoy her. And she just walked into my podcast office 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:58.040 or whatever the funk this is and she I was like, oh, 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:01.320 Fortune person. I was grabbing her leg. I'm like, this 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:05.080 feels smaller than normal. And you revealed that you'd lost 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:08.640 forty pounds because she played a c I agent c 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:14.200 I a CEE I not a clatorial investigator, a Central 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:20.280 intelligence officer, central Intelligence agent agent. And her most recentse 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:22.360 in a Netflix show. Yeah, it's gonna be on Netflix. 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:25.360 Sits with Arnold Schwartzenegger. Oh is that how you say 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:31.280 his name, Arnold Schwartzenegger. I don't. I have a very 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:35.160 thick accident. I don't pronounce anything right. Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:37.640 a very tricky name to say, so we'll just call 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.920 him Big Arnold. Was how was that I was working 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.120 with Arnold? It was awesome. I was out in Toronto 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:47.000 for five months filming. Yeah, and it was all action stuff. 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:50.880 I was, you know, running, I know I was running, 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:56.000 had a gun stuff. Wow, you'll be very turned on. 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:59.800 I can't wait to see that. So six months there. 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:01.200 If I've meant to tron too. I saw you had 0:08:01.240 --> 0:08:03.400 to cancel some gigs because you got trapped there. Had 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:08.480 to cancel my European tour because production got extended for 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:12.920 almost a month. Oh yeah, and you also have a 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:16.160 new Netflix special that just came out. Congratulations on that. 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:21.240 Thank you. It's called Good Fortune. Why why didn't you 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.640 do Fortune Cookie? I don't know. I didn't think about 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:25.920 for the next one, the next one. Yeah. If you 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:27.600 just put your name in everything, like I put my 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.360 name in everything, nobody could tell the difference between one 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.320 thing or the next. It works. Yeah, it's my my 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:36.720 new hour. I'm very happy with its awesome. Thank you. 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:40.559 I shot in Chicago while I was filming this action show. 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:42.480 So when do you think you'll be going back on 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:46.040 the road. Um, I'm gonna do like club dates in 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.920 November and December around California, and then announced a big 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:53.720 tour starting the end of January. Oh, great hit a 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:56.040 bunch of new cities with new materials. So if you 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.200 have any ideas of things that should talk about, let 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:00.600 me ship. I know I have talked the same boat. 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:02.920 I'm just wrapping up this tour and I'm like, okay, 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:05.240 I have to come up with some new material and 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:06.679 I'm like, I should be doing it now since I 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.720 already taped my special, but since my special isn't out yet, 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.079 I just keep holding on to the same show. I 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:15.760 don't know fucking time for any creative juices right now. 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.240 That's the hardest part about putting out a special is 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:23.320 riding a whole new agg I just I know, I know, 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:25.680 tell me about you because when I there are certain 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:28.200 comics that like to run their hour before they tape it, 0:09:28.320 --> 0:09:31.760 like two hundred times. I can't do that. I like 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:34.920 run it seventy or seventy five times, and then I'm 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.760 theater dates after I've run it in clubs, so maybe 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:41.040 like eighty five altogether. But I can't go past a 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.280 hundred because then I'm just sick of my own material. 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:45.960 I this one, I did a lot. I did a 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:50.280 hundred cities and about a hundred sixty shows. Wow, that's 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:58.800 a lot. Fifteen of those were post filming sows, right, 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:00.280 And were you able to come up with some new 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:03.400 material while you were doing those new shows or did you? Yeah? 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:06.360 And then you have to and then here you go 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:08.320 back on the road and you have to startch five 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:11.960 minutes into an hour. You're like, ohh ship, isn't it funny? 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.040 Every single time. It's the same thing with a book. 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:15.840 Every single time I'm done writing a book, I'm like, 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.000 that's it. I'm done, nothing left. And then of course 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.240 you're like, fuck, I gotta write another book and I 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.440 gotta do another stand up show. How many books have 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:27.880 you written now? Uh? Six? Six? I'm on my seventh 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.400 right now, I'm writing a new one. And and I 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:32.320 just had a phone call with my editor this morning 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.440 and I'm like, listen, this is all over the shop 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:36.600 and she's like, do you want to show me some stuff. 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:39.560 I'm like, nope, it's not made for anyone to see. 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:42.839 I've never written a book. I thought you did write. 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:46.040 Oh that seems weird, like everyone from Chelsea lately wrote 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:48.200 a book. I didn't. I was I didn't think at 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.480 the time that people wanted to book for me. I 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.280 felt like it wasn't the right time. But I feel 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.880 like I'm maybe have a book in me now. Yeah. Absolutely, 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:00.480 I feel like everybody has a book in I've never 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:04.360 I've never done it. Yeah, well that seems like something 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:06.000 you should tackle that. Do you want to write it 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:07.960 for me? Yeah? I love. I would love to be 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:12.600 a ghostwriter. Can you imagine you trying to write my story? 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:17.120 And then this bitch had some brownies? Oh, like I 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.160 saw the clip we did. We did an episode of 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.160 night show. I think it was a Netflix show where 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:23.480 we all did cannabis. We had a cannabis dinner and 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:27.800 fortune was definitely the highest and the funniest for about 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:30.600 They actually set me my social media team set me 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.080 clips of that dinner and I was like, you're not 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:35.840 capturing how ridiculous this got. I was like, go back 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:37.760 and look at the footage. You need that, we need 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.600 the out takes. Out takes. We laughed until we couldn't breathe. 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.800 You thought she thought there was military inside my house. 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:49.000 She's like, is that man wearing a military uniform? I'm like, 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:53.439 what he had on? Camo pants? And he was he 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.280 was the lighting guy and he was breaking the lights 0:11:56.320 --> 0:12:02.959 down and I started yelling no lights left. I was 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:05.600 high for like six days after that dinner. I mean 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.600 it was because it was a cannabis infused dinner, so 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:12.560 that the food, everything, everything. So just when you thought 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:16.400 you couldn't get higher, you did. And she had never 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.560 had no self control with food. Well, but you also 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.200 don't have any self control with cannabis because you had 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.880 never done it before. Never. Yeah, I had not done 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:27.600 a lot of edible so I didn't know the ratios. 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:29.920 And I can't believe you didn't get sick. I don't 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:32.320 I was high until noon the next day, but I 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:35.199 did not get sick. But everything was very fuzzy. Yeah. 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:37.319 My one of my eyes didn't open the next day 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.520 until eight p m. It was a wild time. But 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:43.280 you we did, you know, go through the stages of 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:48.600 laughing uncontrollably. We got so hungry after the dinner. Your 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:52.320 assistant was gonna go get us burgers, and I went, yeah, 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.319 I want a burger, and then you get or we 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.880 could just get a wrap. And I was like, oh, 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:03.559 wrap what You're gonna get high and eat something semi healthy? What? 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:07.000 And then I came to under peer pressure and I went, yeah, 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:14.720 she's like she's like, I'll have a turkey rap spinached dortia, 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:18.880 good memory, that's exactly whatever. Some some good fats on there, 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:23.000 like avocano. What drugs did we try and didn't? I 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:25.800 give you a little mushroom in Montreal, Yeah, but I 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:29.440 didn't end up doing it. Oh Jack jack too much? 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.760 Somebody gave me don't work. I think he has a 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.960 high tolerant. Those were weak ones. Actually, you know how 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:40.240 I knew they were we I so this guy gave 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:43.719 me light, medium, and then strong. I would have heard 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:45.440 of my friend Allison's house one day and she's like, oh, 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.079 you have to try these mushroom gummies. I was like, 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.280 oh my god, mushrooms are my favorite. That's more. I 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:53.679 like mushrooms more than cannabis. And because they just make 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:56.719 you awake. I've never had mushrooms. I know, well, why 0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:00.360 we don't know. I'm that Nancy Reagan campaign and really 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:04.000 stuck with me. But you're a lesbian and she wouldn't. 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.040 She wouldn't approve of that either. Fortune, so you need 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:10.840 to divorce yourself. You have to divorce yourself from Nancy Reagan. 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.679 Fortunate as someone who had never done mushrooms, and I 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.280 did like one of those little light gummies. When we 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.560 were in ma Yorka with Chelsea, it was so chill 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:24.360 you barely feel it. You just giggle, you have a 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:28.000 great time, and then you like feel yourself kind of 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:29.840 coming down from it at the end of dinner, like 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.840 it's not scary. I'm pretty chill though already. Do you 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:37.600 think I need to be chilling? It just it's a 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:40.640 good point, Like I guess it would be already. Maybe 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.400 I'm already on mushroom and maybe I don't know. I 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.160 saw that trip you guys took. Now. Chelsea had two 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.360 groups of friends come visit her in ma Yorka. The 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:51.920 first group they were doing like forty mile bike rads 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.640 and I was like, no thanks. And then the second 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.120 group was like we're eating dinner every night where everyone's 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:00.640 bringing food. I was like, that's the that's the group 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:03.440 for me. Yeah, I had. Actually there was a group 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.600 preceding those two groups, so there were three groups. The 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.840 second group where these exercise maniacs all my friends from 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:14.720 Whistler and and who basically left my Orca ran a 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:17.960 marathon in Berlin and then came in six in the 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:23.440 World Championships for triathlog the little the little that little 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:28.040 claym muscle. Yeah, she's she's a fucking lunatic. That's not 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:31.880 want well by the way I listen. I actually I 0:15:32.000 --> 0:15:33.840 was like, this is too much exercise, Like one night 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:35.720 I had heat stroke. I was like, this is too much. 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.400 But then when the last group came in, I turned 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:41.040 into and and I took like four of them. I'm like, 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:43.760 who wants to king? Who wants to go hiking? We 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:47.200 went on a five hour hike by accident with Katherine's 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.800 husband was there. It's a spearheaded thank god, because I 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:53.840 was by Have you ever tried to follow a trail map? 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:57.400 Oh my god, I can't follow a map or anything. 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.320 So if I had been left to my own devices, 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:01.880 I would be bed right now. And it was a 0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:04.720 tricky hike. I mean it was high and scary and 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.080 we had to climb hike down to the water to 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.720 hike back up. Finally our cousin, my cousin Molly picked 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:11.800 us up because we were like, this is a bunch 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:19.560 of noise. Yeah, the one that I'm sleeping with, I 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:26.360 always go, yeah, that's funny. Yeah you that hike part, 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:28.160 that's too much for me. I would have been eating 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:31.560 calamari somewhere. Well, we did, we ate and drank. Katherine 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:33.680 was there, Katherine and Brad came. We had so much 0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:35.800 sangria every day at lunch and then I just like, 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.320 I just and then I would just I get motivated 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.760 by drinking, like I want to go exercise again, like 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:45.520 because so I can burn off the you know, because 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.120 you're sober up quickly. But it's just sangria also, which 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:52.880 is basically watered down with juice. Yeah, it's like a 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:57.880 it's like a Caprison. Yeah, that's true. It's an adult. 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.000 Did you drink a lot? Do you think you drank 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:03.400 more during your days on Chelsea Lately? Or do you 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.560 think you drink more now? I probably drink more now. Yeah, 0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:09.760 I'm so much healthier than I was on Chelsea Lately, 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.639 But I think I drink the same. Yeah, Like how 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:17.359 to eat handle your liquor? Well, do you know you 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:21.520 never act like sloppy? Well I did, I did? I had. Yeah, 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:28.680 now you're a lady. Now I'm elegant. Now I'm elegant. 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:30.639 Was the love of the stories you would tell about 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:33.680 going out and saying that limit the lemon, that lemon 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:39.760 juice comes in and empty. That was hilarious. I would 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:42.919 also take those little squeezeable lemons you buy in the supermarket. 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.320 They have the lime and lemon which is fresh lime juice. 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.920 Well it's not fresh because it's sucking canned, but I 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:49.760 would take that and then i'd go to the Improv 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.119 to do a set. But I did trust their lemons 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:54.360 because you know, it's the Improv and I don't want 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.120 their fruit, and so I would squeeze that little lemon 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.560 into my vodka wherever I went, and it became my 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.720 person and all canteen. That is so funny. Just I 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:06.320 just picture you with just getting a lemon out of here. 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:13.600 Where do you wait? Let's talk about Chelsea lately taste 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.399 what are Let's see what's one of your favorite memories 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:18.200 that sticks out? Can you think of something off the 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:21.880 top of your head? Because we dressed you up a lot. 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:25.320 It was par to line, abusive, wait for fortunate it, 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:27.159 but she always had such a great attitude about it. 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:31.200 You treated me like your adult baby doll, like I 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:34.760 can just put fortune and whatever I want. I was 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:38.280 just happy to get a paycheck because when I got 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:41.480 your show, I had had had no money. I was 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.080 out of money, and you became a right well at 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:47.040 first she became a writer, but immediately we were like, 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:50.160 she has to be on camera. Yeah. When I interviewed 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:52.920 with you, I owed my roommate like two grand and rent. 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:57.560 It was. It was dire, straight wow. I wasn't sure 0:18:57.800 --> 0:18:59.399 what I was gonna do. I mean, I wouldn't have 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.400 gone home. I would have, you know, figured it out. 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:04.639 I would have gotten a job somewhere, Starbucks, wherever, I 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:07.200 would have done whatever. But the dream was to be 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:10.639 in the business and to be a working comedian. I 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:13.720 interviewed with other people first and then had the meeting 0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:18.280 with Chelsea, and I had no, you know, no expectations 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:20.159 of it because I didn't think I had a chance. 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:24.159 And honestly, I think that I was first. I think 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:26.119 I was your first interview of the day. And now 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:29.200 that I know you, I know that like you just 0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:31.800 make your mind up about something and don't want to 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:35.520 come back to have to do something. So I think 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:38.760 luckily you liked me, and you got up in the 0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:41.440 middle of my interview like ten minutes into it, and 0:19:41.480 --> 0:19:44.560 you go, okay, well, thank you, and I was like, oh, 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:49.440 she hates me, and you left and I called my 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:52.000 you know manager. At the time, I was like, well, 0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:54.720 I guess I said something to offender. She got up 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:57.000 in the middle of the interview, and y'all offered me 0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:59.560 the job the next day. And now that I know 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:02.239 you know that, you just were like, yeah, I like her, 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:08.720 and I also don't want to have another meeting, So 0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:12.400 it was a little bit of luck. You know. Well, 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:14.680 I think anyone that would have met you would have 0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:18.280 understood the quality and the contribution you were gonna you 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:20.800 were about to make because we had such a band 0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:23.520 of idiots on that show, so that anybody with a 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:26.600 good sense of humor, and that made me laugh, and 0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:28.320 you know it was going to be a good time 0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:31.680 because that was like a proper like fraternity party. That 0:20:31.880 --> 0:20:34.960 was before well, actually no, there was hazing. Probably, yeah, 0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:38.560 you guys pranked each other all is home and I think, my, yeah, 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:41.880 my second day, you send an email from my computer 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:45.919 to like everyone saying that I like to get naked 0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:49.879 and have to take meetings and hot tubs something like that. 0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:52.359 I would get in early because I'm an early bird, 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:54.440 so I would get in early and then just start 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:57.480 sending emails from different people's account. This was before you 0:20:57.520 --> 0:20:59.120 could get in trouble for those two kind of kinds 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:01.680 of things I would send. I would send emails to 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:04.240 human resources and be like, I found two naked people 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:06.359 in the kitchen this morning, and then send them a 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:08.440 picture of the employees, and then they would have a 0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:11.480 human resource meeting. We would come out to people. I 0:21:11.520 --> 0:21:14.000 would come out for other people. I would set people 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:16.200 up on dates with people from e Like. It was 0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:19.120 so inappropriate everything we did, but it was a lot 0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:23.320 of fun. Yeah, I remember. I remember one day we 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:25.479 were sitting there because we would have every time there 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:28.399 was a birthday, we would have cupcakes or whatever that 0:21:28.520 --> 0:21:31.080 person wanted. If they wanted Mexican food, whatever their favorite 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:33.159