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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: story Time podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy

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Speaker 1: stories coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,

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Speaker 1: you know, just stick around for a two minute break

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Speaker 1: with a word from our sponsors. I gave my mother

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Speaker 1: in law multiple chances, but I finally reached my breaking point.

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Speaker 2: I just can't taken anymore.

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Speaker 1: Can't do it. My mother in law has been an

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Speaker 1: absolute nightmare since the moment I became part of this family.

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Speaker 1: Years ago. I met, engaged, married and fallen pregnant by

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Speaker 1: my husband extremely fast who it felt extremely fast, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the way that was written. When we first called to

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Speaker 1: announce the marriage. She turned her nose up and sent

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Speaker 1: a message to my husband shortly after our call to

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Speaker 1: let him know that she was having a hard time

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Speaker 1: letting go, but she will respect his decision. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from specific Noase thirty seven ninety nine And

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Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 1: the r slash Okay Storytime subrendan. So, through our unfortunate miscarriage,

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Speaker 1: we were able to fall pregnant again extremely quickly, much

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Speaker 1: to our surprise. A few months later, this time around

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Speaker 1: I was met with constant belittlement and criticism from mother

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Speaker 1: in law about how we weren't ready and how I

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Speaker 1: have no idea what I'm in for. My husband is

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Speaker 1: extremely close with his father, and so phone calls meant

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Speaker 1: for the two of them, where mother in law button

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Speaker 1: and gave her two cents directed at me more often.

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Speaker 1: One time, I had overheard her saying something extremely negative

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Speaker 1: about me to my husband while they were on the phone.

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Speaker 1: She was on speaker, and I very quickly started to

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Speaker 1: growl resentment for this woman, as would anyone. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: took extra precautions to make sure I was reaching out

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Speaker 1: to her, that I was recognizing my own feelings with

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Speaker 1: my own mother for which I had to have intense

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Speaker 1: therapy to overcome, and to avoid projecting that onto dear

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Speaker 1: husband's relationship with his mom. Hey, that's kudos to you

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Speaker 1: for being very, very thoughtful in your approach there. We

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Speaker 1: even went to couple therapy for this because he kept

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Speaker 1: insisting that she never means it in that way. She

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean it that way. I don't care.

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Speaker 3: Why do you say it in that way exactly?

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Speaker 1: Anyways, after a few visits of their home cross country

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Speaker 1: and meeting some of the extended family. I was getting

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Speaker 1: a clear picture with each interaction. This lady was a

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Speaker 1: full blown self absorbed person. I tried to mention this

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Speaker 1: to my husband time and time again, but he was

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Speaker 1: so deep in the trenches of her manipulation. Finally, once

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Speaker 1: our first child was born, mother in law sent a

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Speaker 1: pretty damning text message to my husband about the birth

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Speaker 1: of our child that allowed dear husband to start seeing

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Speaker 1: through the veil that child especial becomes she comes from

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Speaker 1: you and me. Hmmm, gee, hey, mom, last time I checked,

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Speaker 1: you and I didn't make this baby.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what what's that about?

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Speaker 1: Last time I checked, it was my wife. Who's me

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Speaker 1: and the baby? Not you, my mother and me. Nom.

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Speaker 1: My husband literally paused my shower to show me the text,

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Speaker 1: and though while I prioritized validating his emotions of discussed

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Speaker 1: and frustration, I couldn't help but to notice my own

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Speaker 1: feelings of vindication. Yes, so, since that moment a year ago,

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Speaker 1: he's been able to slowly come to terms with the

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Speaker 1: idea that maybe she really is the person his family

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Speaker 1: has been telling him she is. But the final nail

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Speaker 1: in the coffin was our holiday visit that just recently

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Speaker 1: occurred for this saga, I'm going to make it very

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Speaker 1: brief because if I go into detail, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: exhaust you all from the read this has become already.

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Speaker 1: Christmas morning, my mother in law stormed out during gift

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Speaker 1: giving because father in law failed to prepare a specific

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Speaker 1: toy to be used immediately from opening. Again, just to

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Speaker 1: remind everyone, my daughter is eleven months old. She is

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Speaker 1: not capable of long term memory. After sucking the air

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Speaker 1: and the joy out of the room, she decided to

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Speaker 1: hide away upstairs after verbally tearing into father in law

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Speaker 1: in front of my daughter, sister in law and husband.

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Speaker 1: Father in law and mother in law began to argue

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Speaker 1: and escalate in their room, which was situated right next

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Speaker 1: to dear husband and I room, making it impossible to

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Speaker 1: put the little one down for her nap, So we

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Speaker 1: had to evacuate the house for hours on Christmas Day

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Speaker 1: to get away from the mess at home with sister

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Speaker 1: in law in tow. Great first Christmas as a mother

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Speaker 1: and as a family, torpedoed by mother in law Q

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Speaker 1: two a few days later, where mother in law had

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Speaker 1: a huge party plan for extended family and partners, neighbors, included.

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Speaker 1: About two hours into the event, I made the mistake

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Speaker 1: of encountering mother in law sobbing, absolutely blackout wasted on

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Speaker 1: the couch in the living room upstairs. Oh my, I

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Speaker 1: already have my feelings on this woman, but I decide

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Speaker 1: to sit next to her and hear her out to

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Speaker 1: comfort her. She goes over her failing marriage and mentions

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Speaker 1: feelings of betrayal and wanting out. Great, now I'm stuck

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Speaker 1: here next to her. Well, this is enough of a

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Speaker 1: pattern to where as I'm comforting her and people are

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Speaker 1: cycling in and out of the kitchen, they're all throwing

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Speaker 1: me looks of remorse as they grab what they need

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Speaker 1: and return downstairs. Oh wow, remorse for me, not for

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Speaker 1: the mom. Finally, one of the more seasoned family members

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Speaker 1: steps in and relieves me of my duties. I go

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Speaker 1: back to the downstairs area, where I met with a

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Speaker 1: circle of people who want to know what's going on.

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Speaker 1: I debrief and everyone is now on the same page

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Speaker 1: of what's happening. About an hour later, crap hits the fan.

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Speaker 1: So mind you, my child has been tucked away upstairs,

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Speaker 1: sleeping soundly in her crib for a while. Now, my

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Speaker 1: mother in law returns to her room, which again is

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Speaker 1: right next to dear husband and the baby and I

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Speaker 1: have been sharing for the stay, and she starts throwing

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Speaker 1: things at the wall whoa and screaming, shaking.

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Speaker 3: The entire house with the baby in the room.

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Speaker 1: With the baby next door, oh.

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Speaker 3: Next door, The whole house is shaw.

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Speaker 1: So I flew into the home as I was outside

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Speaker 1: talking with dear husband about going no contact but speak

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Speaker 1: of the devil. Hold. Yeah, there she goes again, and

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Speaker 1: I ran right into the room my daughter was sleeping

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Speaker 1: in to protect her. When re entering, I had to

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Speaker 1: pass the whole party of family playing a game and

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Speaker 1: everyone stopped in the tracks. Everything fell apart at this moment.

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Speaker 3: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: My mother in law proceeded to scream and argue with

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Speaker 1: everyone in the house all My husband had to restrain her,

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Speaker 1: and as he did, my mother in law attacked him.

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Speaker 1: What My sister in law fled to dear husband's side,

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Speaker 1: and mother in law did the same to her as well.

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Speaker 1: Then it became less of an effort for de escalation

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Speaker 1: and became a family wide effort for evacuation.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this is crazy.

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Speaker 4: This is fullwed Godzilla is breaking through the roof, stomp

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Speaker 4: and breaking things. She whips her tail around and is

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Speaker 4: knocking people over left and right. Oh my gosh, that

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Speaker 4: is terrible.

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Speaker 1: So at this point, I'm kind of like, this seems

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Speaker 1: like a severe mental health crisis issue situation for sure.

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Speaker 5: I mean, everyone's safety is up in the air right

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Speaker 5: now around the st Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So, I'm eight months pregnant with Opie's I didn't even

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Speaker 1: realize that.

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Speaker 3: God she was pregnant, dude, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Wow, with an eleven month old. So there were about

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Speaker 1: five different family members individually making sure I was safely

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Speaker 1: escorted out to the nearest hotel for the remainder of

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Speaker 1: our stay before our flight back home. My husband is

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Speaker 1: an active service member, and he had to reach out

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Speaker 1: to command because of the time of hotel arrival, we

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Speaker 1: were planning on catching the next flight out, so he

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Speaker 1: would have had to let them know about his premature return.

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Speaker 1: He obviously had to take creative liberties as to the

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Speaker 1: reasoning of his return because if he were to tell

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Speaker 1: the truth, his mother would have had to be charged.

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Speaker 1: Whoa which straight through jail to jail, Straight through jail. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go crazy, straight to jail. So we ended

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Speaker 1: up making the call to stay put at the hotel

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Speaker 1: into our flight a few days later. Our choice based

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Speaker 1: upon not wanting to further disrupt our baby's rhythm and

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Speaker 1: sense of safety and security during his time. My mother

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Speaker 1: in law sent a text message to the family group

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Speaker 1: chat that was three sentences long. I'm sorry, I eft up.

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Speaker 1: I have no excuses, Okay, I mean yes so, And

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Speaker 1: for some reason, reading that message enraged me. You attacked

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Speaker 1: my husband, you ruined my first Christmas as a mother,

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Speaker 1: and you have no excuses. During our flight home, I

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Speaker 1: told my husband there is no room for her in

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Speaker 1: our lives anymore. Yeah, yeah, I told him that being

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Speaker 1: put through that, the fear of domestic violence happening with

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Speaker 1: my child in the next room, the terror of fleeing

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Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, I cannot put our

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Speaker 1: daughter through that ever again. He finally came to agree. Finally, finally,

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Speaker 1: I will never speak to that woman ever again. I

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Speaker 1: am so sad for my husband, but I'm so glad

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Speaker 1: we're finally at this point for the justification for it

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Speaker 1: is all is there, and everyone, including dear husband, finally

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Speaker 1: sees it. We have an update.

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Speaker 3: Oh boy, but yeah, thoughts.

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Speaker 5: Well, I'm glad that the husband has finally come around

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Speaker 5: because obviously, I mean, we've read so many stories where

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Speaker 5: it's like the in laws have all of these problems

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Speaker 5: and the husband or wife like who are actually related

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Speaker 5: to those people can't see them quite yet because they're

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Speaker 5: finded by you know, the love of their parents, which

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Speaker 5: makes sense. There has to be a breaking point, and

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Speaker 5: it seems like we've reached it, which is good.

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Speaker 3: Yep, it's bittersweet, I'll say, it's not.

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Speaker 5: It's good that we are at a breaking point, yeah,

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Speaker 5: and that she's doing these things, but it's good that

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Speaker 5: he's seeing it and that he knows that people's safety is.

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Speaker 3: Involved, the safety of his child. Yes, wife, it is

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Speaker 3: whole family.

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Speaker 5: Everyone had to evacuate like it was a tornado coming.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like that's that's it. Yeah, man.

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Speaker 1: Update currently uh thirty nine we plus six days. Labor

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Speaker 1: is starting and stopping for the past week, and I'm

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Speaker 1: so over it at this point that bab is ready

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Speaker 1: to burst. So I got into my appointment today and

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Speaker 1: was told to expect a call from the coordinator. Coordinator

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Speaker 1: called as I was wolfing down some lunch, and of course,

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Speaker 1: without thinking I agreed to the first available induction slot.

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Speaker 1: I then asked if it's the absolute soonest we could

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Speaker 1: go in and get everything taken care of, and the

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Speaker 1: coordinator said that yes, that's the soonest available, hung up

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Speaker 1: the phone and went about my business until I look

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Speaker 1: at the calendar and see that the induction date is

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Speaker 1: actually the date of my mother in law's birthday. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: this lady is insane and I cannot imagine having to

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Speaker 1: live the rest of her life hearing how much her

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Speaker 1: and little one are just much closer because their birthday twinds.

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Speaker 1: If that even ever happens, pray for me. Uh edits

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Speaker 1: everyone suggesting to reschedule, Yes I will, but my obi's

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Speaker 1: office does in fact come to a close and has

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Speaker 1: been closed since well before I realized the date slash

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Speaker 1: issue described here. Also to remind everyone very gently, I

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Speaker 1: don't want the advice to reschedule, as per the flare

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Speaker 1: which asked for no advice, just solidarity update number two.

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Speaker 1: So over the past few months, I've been extremely supportive

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Speaker 1: of my husband's emotional journey. This woman has a history

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Speaker 1: his mom of these violent outbursts during family get togethers.

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Speaker 1: I genuinely cannot stand her, but through it all, my

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Speaker 1: husband maintained very low contact. That's just fine with me.

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Speaker 1: Not my monkey, not my circus. Very recently, on Mother's Day,

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Speaker 1: she reached out to my sister in law and husband

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Speaker 1: in a private chat to extend an apology and a

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Speaker 1: wish for reconciliation. My husband explained to her that it

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Speaker 1: was a very pointed decision to exclude me from that message,

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Speaker 1: seeing as how I was just as deserving of an apology.

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Speaker 1: He told her there's no reconciliation with just him, and

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Speaker 1: that since we are a married couple and due to

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Speaker 1: everything she put me through, she needs to reach out

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Speaker 1: to me. A week past with no response, I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna lie. I was fuming, so I sent her a

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Speaker 1: message of my own, telling her exactly what I felt,

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Speaker 1: and this is the message below. Mother in law, I

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Speaker 1: am writing this because continuing to ignore the weight of

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Speaker 1: your actions is no longer an option. After everything that

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Speaker 1: had happened over Christmas, your outburst to your hostility, I

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Speaker 1: expected at least a sincere and direct apology, not just

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Speaker 1: to your son and sister in law, but to me

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Speaker 1: as well, Considering I was also there many opportunities to

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Speaker 1: reach out have come and gone, birthdays, the delivery of

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Speaker 1: your grandson, and especially after a husband suggested you should

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Speaker 1: reach out to me directly. You should have maybe reached

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Speaker 1: out to me directly. That was just me talking. You

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Speaker 1: made a pointed choice to ignore that entirely. That silence

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Speaker 1: speaks volumes, and I want you to know I heard

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Speaker 1: it loud and clear. Your pattern of behavior has deeply

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Speaker 1: affected our family. I do not forgive the way you

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Speaker 1: treated me. And until there's a true, prompted reckoning on

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Speaker 1: your part, not a performance, not a deflection, and not

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Speaker 1: a half apology, I won't be participating in any illusion

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Speaker 1: of reconciliation. This is not about punishment. This is about

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Speaker 1: protecting my peace in my family. I hope one day

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Speaker 1: you can reflect honestly and do better, but I won't

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Speaker 1: sacrifice our well being waiting for that to happen. And

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Speaker 1: oh boy did she respond. But first, oh boy, slow clap?

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Speaker 1: That was that was great? I love that. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: love that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that was really good.

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Speaker 1: So to honor my husband's wishes, I will not post

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Speaker 1: exactly what she said to me, but to give everyone

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Speaker 1: an idea, here's some of her points. I don't need

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Speaker 1: an apology because I am not a victim. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: should be grateful for the fact that she gave birth

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Speaker 1: to my husband, because due to her parenting, he turned

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Speaker 1: out to be the man he is today. She didn't

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Speaker 1: feel it necessary to respond with an apology because I

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Speaker 1: disliked how she reacted to her incredibly lazy apology in

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Speaker 1: the family group chat. I don't care about my family

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Speaker 1: because if I did, I would allow her access to

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Speaker 1: my children. Clearly hate your family. I am a deeply

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Speaker 1: inconsiderate person because I didn't ask her permission to marry

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Speaker 1: her son.

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Speaker 5: How daring that's the traditional way the wife has to

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Speaker 5: ask the mother in law if she can be proposed to.

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Speaker 1: I'm a deeply inconsiderate person because my husband chose to

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Speaker 1: notify the entire family in a single group chat about

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Speaker 1: the birth of our firstborn child instead of letting her

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Speaker 1: know first. Oh my goodness, I'm punishing her, and that

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Speaker 1: the punishment doesn't fit to the crime. I'm the reason

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Speaker 1: that my husband stays with me in a bedroom and

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Speaker 1: away from them when we go for a visit. I

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Speaker 1: front air bag fed in privacy for the time she's

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Speaker 1: referring to, and my husband likes to hang out with me,

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Speaker 1: Sue me. I'm a poor mother for sleeping in on

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00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,160
Speaker 1: the days when they came to visits when I was

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Speaker 1: five weeks postpartum, especially abandoning my child under their care.

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Speaker 1: Woe is me? I am the reason her son doesn't

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Speaker 1: send photos of her grandchild to her. Oh, my god.

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00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,280
Speaker 1: Since she is my mother in law, I need to

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Speaker 1: display respect and refrain from sending another threatening message to her.

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Speaker 1: My response to that all that whole thing was very short.

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Speaker 1: I told her that it's clear to me that there's

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Speaker 1: no opportunity for reconciliation at this time. Encourage her to

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Speaker 1: continue to look outside of her own perspective. It yawned

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Speaker 1: in her face, and that I am still otis sincere

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Speaker 1: apology give me. It grinds my gears having to be

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Speaker 1: the bigger person. I hate that phrase. It's so condescending

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Speaker 1: to someone nearly twice my senior. I've decided I'm no

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00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 1: longer going to react. My father in law scheduled a

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Speaker 1: call with my husband to have a discussion, and I

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Speaker 1: just know it's about what I had said to my

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Speaker 1: mother in law. Father in law has spoken about ten

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Speaker 1: words to my husband since this all went down on

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Speaker 1: Christmas and now only an hour after I sent my message,

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Speaker 1: does he want to call up my husband?

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Speaker 2: Ugh?

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Speaker 1: Advice wanted?

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, so sometimes about to go down. We're not

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Speaker 3: even gonna be able to see it.

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Speaker 1: We're we're just going to be completely in the dark.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: But Opie did say advice wanted at the end. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: quick quick closing thoughts here on that.

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Speaker 5: Oh man, I mean, uh, the husband is going to

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Speaker 5: get a call an hour later than all of this.

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Speaker 5: Then her text was sent, Yeah, I mean the husband

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Speaker 5: I think needs the most advice here.

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Speaker 3: But true, dude, I don't know I can.

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Speaker 1: Stay the course of of just love. Contact can just

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Speaker 1: be like oh contact, hey dad? Yeah, so you're just

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Speaker 1: calling us to defend mom and mom has done all

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Speaker 1: these horrible things. So we're just not down with that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what?

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Speaker 5: Honestly, like, uh, I think, yeah, he just needs to

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Speaker 5: be honest. He's just like, Okay, listen, you're my parents.

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Speaker 5: I don't want you to have you know, no access

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Speaker 5: to your grandchildren. However, if you were going to act

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Speaker 5: this way, if she's going to act this way and

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Speaker 5: you were going to support her, that can't happen.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 5: It's not that I don't want you around, it's that

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Speaker 5: you can't be around if you're doing this. So it's

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Speaker 5: your choice on whether you want to continue doing this

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Speaker 5: and continue supporting this, if you want to be around

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Speaker 5: my children.

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Speaker 3: It's it's out of my hands.

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Speaker 5: It's purely for my family's safety, and it's it's it's

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00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,679
Speaker 5: not like a selfish choice that I'm making. This is

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Speaker 5: purely like survival pretty much. So it's it's on them.

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Speaker 5: It's on them.

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Speaker 1: It's not that I don't want you around, that I

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00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,480
Speaker 1: can't have you around. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, Boom, angie,

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Speaker 1: I'm freaking.

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Speaker 5: Wise, saying my mother in law claims to be a

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Speaker 5: loving grandmother but refuses to make.

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Speaker 1: Any efforts make effort.

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Speaker 5: My husband and I had our baby four months ago,

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Speaker 5: and she was born two months early, so she's only

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00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 5: been home for a little over two months. I have

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Speaker 5: a whole hoard of medical issues because I went through

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Speaker 5: two and a half years of chemo for leukemia, but

350
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Speaker 5: was able to get pregnant a year after my last chemo.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that seems impressive. That doesn't happen for everyone. Yes,

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Speaker 3: but I got pre cl.

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Speaker 5: Which landed me in the hospital for a week before

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Speaker 5: delivery and progressed to h elp. This kept me in

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Speaker 5: the hospital for a week after delivery. By the way,

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00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 5: this comes from the Prime of Ale Pixie Dust And

357
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

358
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 5: the r slash Okay story time supread it. So, my

359
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,640
Speaker 5: mom flew in six hours before I delivered, and I'm

360
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Speaker 5: so happy she did because she took care of me

361
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 5: with my husband through my cat, and she's so dialed

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Speaker 5: into my needs that she knows what I need before

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Speaker 5: I even know what I need. During my time in

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Speaker 5: the hospital, my in laws were all up in my

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Speaker 5: grill in space, and they were especially so after I

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Speaker 5: gave birth. And I mean my mother in law, father

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Speaker 5: in law, brother in law, and sister in law, the

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Speaker 5: whole family involved.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot, a lot.

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Speaker 5: I have no issues with my brother in law or

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Speaker 5: sister in law because they took care of me a

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Speaker 5: lot during chemo, and they are like my mom in

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Speaker 5: that they always seem to know what I need before

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Speaker 5: even I do. My sister in law is top tier

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00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,119
Speaker 5: when it comes to bringing over snacks and beverages. I

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00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 5: seriously don't know how she always knows what kind of

377
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Speaker 5: food I like, but she just does.

378
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Speaker 3: That's a good friend, right, We like that.

379
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 1: We like that. That's a good thing.

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Speaker 5: My brother in law is a doctor and helped so

381
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,399
Speaker 5: much during my caragment and during my labor too. He

382
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 5: always brings food whenever he comes over, and he's always

383
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 5: wanting to hang out and help with baby and do

384
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 5: chores around the house. Now, my mother in law and

385
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 5: father in law are nice people, but it's a fake

386
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 5: nice like they are nice people, but they never go

387
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,959
Speaker 5: out of their way to help anyone. It seriously ticks

388
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 5: off my husband because they've dropped the ball for him

389
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 5: and me so many times that he doesn't trust them

390
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Speaker 5: to come through for anything anymore.

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Speaker 3: During their pregnancy, mother in.

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Speaker 5: Law refer to our daughter as our baby as in

393
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Speaker 5: hers too, and my husband immediately called her out and said, no,

394
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 5: she's Opie and my baby and your grandbaby. I know

395
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 5: she's excited to be a grandma, but we had to

396
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 5: set some boundaries before she started referring to herself as

397
00:19:55,560 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 5: mom to our daughter, which was somewhat starting to show now.

398
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,919
Speaker 5: Back to the hospital, my husband told them multiple times

399
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,359
Speaker 5: that they needed to text before just showing up to

400
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 5: my room, and a few times my mother in law

401
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 5: and father in law showed up as I was pumping,

402
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,880
Speaker 5: or right before I was about to shower, or right

403
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 5: as I.

404
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,439
Speaker 3: Was getting examined to deliver. Worst timing. Wow.

405
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 5: He finally said that he would remove them from the

406
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 5: approved visitor list if they didn't text or call first.

407
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 5: My brother in law and sister in law always called

408
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 5: first right as I.

409
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 2: Was about to give birth.

410
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Speaker 5: Oh no, staff and my husband had to punt them

411
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Speaker 5: out of the room so I didn't have to have

412
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:35,200
Speaker 5: them in there.

413
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

414
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 5: They just know the worst timing for everything. Oh my goodness.

415
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,199
Speaker 1: When I'm like this on the delivery table, Yeah, I

416
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 1: don't want you in there.

417
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 3: So sign gotta stay out, get out.

418
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: Gotta stay out, man, I'm delivering.

419
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't want to see that. I don't want

420
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 3: you to see that. Nope, you gotta get out of there.

421
00:20:59,200 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 1: Yep.

422
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 5: And right after I gave birth, my mother and father

423
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 5: in law followed the NICEU staff to see.

424
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 3: The baby and they touched her, which we told them

425
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 3: not to do, so we were pissed.

426
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 5: Now, during baby's time in hospital, they were willing to

427
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 5: drive thirty minutes every day to see the baby and

428
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 5: I see you, and we told staff that only my

429
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 5: husband and I can hold the baby until we're ready

430
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 5: for others. My mom stayed with us for almost three

431
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 5: weeks and helped us so much, cooking, cleaning, getting stuff

432
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 5: for me to make my recovery easier. She would even

433
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 5: wake up in the night too to get me water

434
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 5: and snacks while I pumped nice So after a week

435
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,159
Speaker 5: of her being there, we agreed that she deserved to

436
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 5: be the first non parent person to hold the baby.

437
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 3: We didn't tell mother in law because we felt that

438
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,159
Speaker 3: she didn't really deserve or need to be in the

439
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 3: know about it.

440
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 5: After another few weeks, we let mother in law and

441
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 5: father in law hold the baby while we were there,

442
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,919
Speaker 5: and made sure to tell the staff and the in

443
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 5: laws that they could only hold the baby if one

444
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 5: of us was present. A couple of nurses slipped through

445
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 5: the twin it came to that info, and mother in

446
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 5: law got away with holding her when I wasn't there.

447
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 3: My mother in law.

448
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 5: Would literally call me every morning to tell me how

449
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 5: baby was, and a few times let it slip that

450
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:11,679
Speaker 5: she got to hold her.

451
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 2: Wow.

452
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 5: Mother in Law's updating the mom of the baby, how

453
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 5: her baby is doing, not what we want to hear. Nope,

454
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 5: when we said these boundaries already, that's correct.

455
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 3: Again rule broken and we were ticked.

456
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,199
Speaker 5: Also, she didn't need to give me a play by

457
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 5: play because I was at the end. I see you

458
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 5: every day as well. This is like, it's not man

459
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 5: splaining anymore. This is mother in law splaining. That's this

460
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 5: is a news. We have to this must, this has

461
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 5: to be. We have man's plaining. It's been established.

462
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 1: We need mother in law called Mill splain, Hills explaining.

463
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 3: There we go, Mill explaining woo coined by me.

464
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 1: Good stuff.

465
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 5: Anyway, on the day that baby girl came home, my

466
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,959
Speaker 5: husband unfortunately couldn't be because he had a final exam

467
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,919
Speaker 5: that day that he could not miss for a class

468
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 5: that started along before I got pregnant.

469
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 3: I wasn't upset by it. I just wanted baby home.

470
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 5: My mom had already returned home by that point because

471
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 5: she had to return to her work because she was

472
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,679
Speaker 5: on a big project. So all of my in laws

473
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 5: said that they would be there with me.

474
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 3: Fine. Whatever.

475
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 5: At our hospital, they have you stay overnight as impatient

476
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 5: with babies so staff can check on you throughout the

477
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 5: night to make sure that everything goes well. I got

478
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 5: to stay in the wing where I received chemo, so

479
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 5: it was kind of like a full circle where the

480
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 5: staff that saved me got to see me.

481
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:37,400
Speaker 3: Be a mom. Oh my gosh, that's so special.

482
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. I frecking love that well.

483
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 5: On the morning of discharge, my in laws are all

484
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 5: in the room with me and I'm fully packed up

485
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 5: and ready to go. My mother in law rushes into

486
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 5: the back seat of my car to make sure that

487
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 5: she's sitting next to baby. My sister in law is

488
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 5: in the front with me. My brother in law and

489
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 5: father in law are in separate cars following behind. We

490
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,239
Speaker 5: get back to my house and my mother in law

491
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 5: keeps trying to take car seat until I stop her

492
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 5: and tell her to cool it until I can introduce

493
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 5: baby to the cats. We get inside. Cats are cool

494
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,880
Speaker 5: and aloof, so I decide that the in laws can

495
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 5: hold the baby while I put stuff away. I spent

496
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,119
Speaker 5: hours doing chores and tasks around the house, and not

497
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 5: once did mother in law or father in law offer

498
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 5: to help, just fawning over baby, which is good, but

499
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 5: only one out of time can hold her.

500
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 3: So you could freaking help me.

501
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 5: My brother in law and sister in law helps me

502
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 5: organize my milk from the NICU and caught me lunch. Also,

503
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 5: when I needed to feed her, she just kept telling

504
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 5: me that she can do Just give her the bottle.

505
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 5: I repeatedly told her that this is the thing I

506
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 5: like doing because I get to bond with the baby.

507
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 5: She kept refusing to hand her over until I snapped

508
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 5: and told her to give me my freaking baby now.

509
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 5: She finally handed her over, but I was ready to

510
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 5: punt her out. They stayed for almost ten hours that day.

511
00:24:55,040 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that is that's nine hours, fifty nine

512
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: minutes and fifty nine seconds too long.

513
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that is true. Oh my goodness. Oh, now

514
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 3: here's the gicker.

515
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 5: Our house is just twenty five minutes from the hospital,

516
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,159
Speaker 5: so they're commute from their home to ours is just

517
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 5: fifty five minutes forty five on the weekend, which to

518
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 5: some might be a lot, but it's really not for us,

519
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 5: considering that that's my commute to work. Several days a

520
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 5: week after that day, my brother in law and sister

521
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 5: in law have come to the house multiple days a

522
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 5: week to see baby and help around the house. My

523
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 5: mother in law and father in law nothing.

524
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: Nothing.

525
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,719
Speaker 5: We practically beg and they won't come over, just excuses,

526
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 5: and they can't use work as an excuse because they're retired.

527
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 5: Well after a few weeks, my own grandparents, who are

528
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 5: the same age as my in laws, come for a

529
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 5: couple of weeks to help, and they help a bunch, cooking, cleaning,

530
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 5: helping with the baby. I'm Hispanic, so the level of

531
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 5: love and care I feel is different, like we don't

532
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 5: expect the help, but.

533
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 3: It would be weird if my family didn't help. During

534
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 3: the time my grandparents are here, my law's dog gets

535
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 3: sick and they love that dog.

536
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: It's their baby, so everything is their baby. Everything is there,

537
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: everything is their baby, so much.

538
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 5: So that the way they raise that dog raises eyebrows,

539
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 5: especially for my husband, because growing up they never raise

540
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 5: their dogs that way. That dog only goes for walks

541
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,479
Speaker 5: in a stroller and has never been leash walked, and

542
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 5: uses the bathroom on puppy pads in the living room,

543
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 5: which was awful.

544
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 3: During my chemo and pregnancy.

545
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 5: What is even the point of going on a walk

546
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 5: with a dog if they're going to be in a stroller,

547
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 5: what's what good is it?

548
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 3: So anyway to cheer them up.

549
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 5: We decide to take baby and grandparents over to their house.

550
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 3: We even go to pick up food.

551
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 5: We decided to greatly inconvenience our lives and our newborn's

552
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 5: life to cheer them up. Fine, whatever visit goes well,

553
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 5: but we had to bring so much stuff to make

554
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 5: the visit work that we decided afterwards that we won't

555
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 5: be doing that again. And my mother in law made

556
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 5: some weird comments that weirded out my husband and me, like, oh,

557
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 5: father in law, we should have another.

558
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 2: Baby, have another baby.

559
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 3: What ma'am, you're.

560
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 1: In your seventies.

561
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 5: Calm down, girl, she is way past menopause. She cannot

562
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 5: have another baby, at least biologically. My goodness, but she

563
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 5: made comments like that the whole time. Now onto a

564
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 5: couple weeks later and my parents come to visit and

565
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 5: help for three weeks.

566
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 3: Amazing.

567
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 5: My parents are incredibly helpful. They help so much with

568
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 5: the baby in the house that I start to feel

569
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 5: human again instead of like a sleepless zombie.

570
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 3: Now we're over.

571
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 5: Ten weeks since baby has been home, and my mother

572
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 5: in law and father in law have seen the baby twice.

573
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 3: Count them twice the day she came home and the

574
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 3: day that we brought her over.

575
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 5: My family lives an ocean away and has been more

576
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 5: involved and helpful than my in laws, who lived thirty

577
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 5: five miles away. So I decided to text my mother

578
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 5: in law and brother in law privately to tell them

579
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,880
Speaker 5: that I want to celebrate my husband's first Father's Day

580
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 5: at our house. I'll get food and we can hang out.

581
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 5: Brother in law is in residency and can't swing the

582
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 5: visit because of work, which is fair and valid. However,

583
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 5: my mother in law calls me to give me excuse

584
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 5: after excuse of why they can't do it at our house,

585
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 5: but tells me that we should bring the baby over

586
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 5: to theirs. I tell her we aren't going to do

587
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 5: that because it takes a lot of prep work to

588
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 5: bring baby over.

589
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: Mother in law says that we'll have lots of help.

590
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 3: Help where help woo?

591
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 5: I'm the one that has the prep and pack up

592
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 5: baby and the car. At this point, we're going back

593
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 5: and forth because she's not getting it. So I tell

594
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 5: her that the baby needs me and I hang up.

595
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 5: Husband asks what that was about, and I tell him.

596
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 5: He looks so heartbroken because his mom won't make any

597
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 5: effort to help us or see us. She acts like

598
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 5: we live on another continent. She tries to call my

599
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 5: husband multiple times, but he ignores her calls because he

600
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 5: doesn't want to hear her excuses. So Father's Day comes

601
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 5: and my mother in law calls my husband to wish

602
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 5: him a happy one, and we find out that they

603
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 5: drove an hour to see his grandpa's grave, so they

604
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 5: can drive an hour to see her dad's grave.

605
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 3: But not your granddaughter. Cool, my husband is living.

606
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 5: His mom says that they're telling grandpa all about the

607
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 5: baby the tombstone. What, Yeah, that's like, that's like cheating

608
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 5: on someone and be like, babe, I was thinking about

609
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 5: you the whole time, Like, well, you could have just

610
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 5: been with me.

611
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: You could have just.

612
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 5: Talked about the baby with you, with the dad with

613
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 5: me yep, and been.

614
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 3: With your freaking baby. Yeah, oh my goodness, what are

615
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 3: we doing?

616
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 5: Husband says, you know you could actually come and see

617
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 5: him the baby. Mother in law says, well, give baby

618
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 5: a hug for me and know that the hug is

619
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 5: from all of us. Husband hangs up and vows to

620
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,479
Speaker 5: not go out of our way for them ever again.

621
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 3: How hot is your blood boiling right?

622
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 1: It is the.

623
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 5: He is ready, it's whistling, his face is red and

624
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 5: his smoke flowing out of his ears.

625
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I've just about had it with these. We

626
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: have had back to back to back crazy mother in laws,

627
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: from stealing toothbrushes of their sons and using them to

628
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: saying this is our baby multiple times. We're done. We're

629
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: done with the crazy mother in laws and we are

630
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 1: going to move on from their craziness and have a

631
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 1: good life. And that's really all I got. We are

632
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: protecting our peace, That's all I got to say. That's

633
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: all I got. It's disappointing, yeap.

634
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 3: Obviously you want them around.

635
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 5: But at the same time, if they can't understand that

636
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 5: you have a literal newborn and that makes it a

637
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 5: little difficult to bring a kid places into travel, they

638
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 5: can't understand that.

639
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 1: I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Except I am mad.

640
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 5: But I'm actually yeah, I can be both. Two things

641
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 5: can be true at once. But we have another little

642
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 5: bit to this story. Let's get on into it. I'm

643
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 5: so sad for my husband because his mom always raves

644
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 5: about how being a mom was her calling and how

645
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 5: much she loved it and will tell anyone who will

646
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 5: listen about how excited she is to be a grandma,

647
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 5: but makes zero effort to actually be a grandma. I'm

648
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 5: so grateful to my husband because he chooses me and

649
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 5: baby every time and always has our back against his parents.

650
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 5: I choose to marry you, you or my family, is

651
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 5: what he always tells me, and growing up, he spent

652
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 5: almost every day with his grandparents, so the way his

653
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,959
Speaker 5: mom acts boggles his mind. We've tossed around the idea

654
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 5: to limit baby content to her no pictures, no updates,

655
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 5: in the hope that it drives her to make an

656
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 5: effort to see the baby, but after everything, we doubt

657
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 5: that will work.

658
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:47,719
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get

659
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads

660
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

661
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 6: I thought our first date went great until I discovered

662
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:54,959
Speaker 6: her TikTok.

663
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: What's up, folks? Today, We're gonna be ranking the top

664
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 2: ten worst dates I've ever been on.

665
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 6: This is number one. I have known this woman twenty

666
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 6: eight female for a while since we are in the

667
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 6: same friend groups. She's a nice person, attractive, and honestly,

668
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 6: I've always enjoyed my talks with her. A few weeks ago,

669
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 6: I twenty six mail asked her out on a date.

670
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 6: I figured if she says no, it's fine, but she

671
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,959
Speaker 6: actually agreed. By the way, this comes from Throwaway Consistent

672
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 6: twelve and if you want us to make your own stories,

673
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 6: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So we

674
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 6: went on a date this past Saturday, and honestly, I

675
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 6: thought it was awesome. We went out to dinner, had drinks,

676
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 6: spent the rest of the night talking, and we even

677
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 6: took a walk on a walking bridge over the town's lake.

678
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 6: It's not a big one. I dropped her off and

679
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 6: was elated. I absolutely loved the night. However, that night,

680
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 6: when I was scrolling through my TikTok on my bed,

681
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 6: a post from her I didn't follow nor knew she

682
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 6: had a TikTok. It appeared on my for you page. Essentially,

683
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 6: she said in the post getting ready for a date,

684
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:09,959
Speaker 6: I really don't want to go on rugh rough. That

685
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 6: was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on

686
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 6: my head. I was so freaking happy, and I just

687
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 6: found out she didn't even want to go on a

688
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 6: date with me.

689
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 2: Well, hold on, Maybe she thought she didn't want to

690
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 2: go on it and then she had such a great time.

691
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, So if you see that and then there's

692
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 6: a follow up video that's like it actually went.

693
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 2: Really, actually went.

694
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 6: Really well, how mad are you still at the first one?

695
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 3: Well?

696
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 2: Like five five? Yeah, I think it goes down significantly.

697
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 6: Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she has to

698
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 6: want it, but please let me know. If that's the case,

699
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 6: we don't need to go out. We can forget. I

700
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 6: even asked her out, but doing this on the internet

701
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 6: it made me self conscious. I'm not sure if that's

702
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 6: the right word.

703
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 3: Now.

704
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 6: I'm unsure about what to do. Should I tell her

705
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 6: I saw this or just forget about it? Honestly, it

706
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 6: really hurt me, and I'm not really sure I want

707
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 6: to give this another try. I mean, she didn't want

708
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 6: to go out with me in the first place, right,

709
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 6: some top relevant comments naked Neef I'd comment on the

710
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,760
Speaker 6: post and ask if the date went well.

711
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, wait for real, and killer Savage says this

712
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 2: just because she didn't want to go doesn't mean she

713
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: didn't have a good time.

714
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 3: Process.

715
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 6: I think all of us have been there where we

716
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 6: don't feel like socializing, but it turns out okay or fun.

717
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 6: Her not wanting to go may not be a judgment

718
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 6: on the OP at all. Could simply be that they

719
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,240
Speaker 6: weren't in the mood for a date, which might actually

720
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 6: be a compliment to OP that she was still willing

721
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 6: to do it for OP. Anyhow, it's a low blow

722
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 6: to post it on social media. People have feelings she

723
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 6: didn't give a crap about OP finding out, especially if

724
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 6: they know each other from a friend group. Good human

725
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 6: beings don't proceed like that. I'd say, leave her be.

726
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 6: If she asks, why, then tell her you saw the video,

727
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 6: simple as that. Another user says, I just wouldn't ask

728
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 6: her for a second date and let it be. Don't

729
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 6: give her fuel for her TikTok. Just tell her you

730
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 6: didn't think you're good, you're a good fit. If she asks.

731
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 6: Another user says, I'd feel like a child dating somebody

732
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 6: who airs their whole personal life on effing TikTok of

733
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 6: all apps, yuck, OMG fight with the boyfriend. You'll never

734
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 6: guess what he said.

735
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't I think that into it,

736
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,760
Speaker 2: like I don't think I can bash on TikTok because

737
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 2: we're on TikTok. I think a lot of people nowadays

738
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 2: will use TikTok as kind of like a video diary. Yeah,

739
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 2: and there's a lot more openness about what we're people

740
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,320
Speaker 2: are willing to share on public forums.

741
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 6: So I have seen tiktoks of date reviews where then

742
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 6: there's a response from the other half saying like.

743
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: That's not really how it went.

744
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, in which case it's like, be honest about what

745
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,880
Speaker 2: you're posting, especially if there's any chance people can see it.

746
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 6: Another user says, the thing for me would be this,

747
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 6: Who on earth would post that on TikTok and why?

748
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,760
Speaker 6: The potential answers will tell you a lot. I would

749
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 6: never want to be with someone that would find that,

750
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 6: that would find that an appropriate thing to post, for

751
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 6: so many reasons. My interest in such a person would

752
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 6: disappear after seeing something like that, And I hope you

753
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 6: have the wherewithal to feel similarly. This woman is not

754
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 6: worth it, and at least you discovered that quickly distance yourself.

755
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 6: If you know what's good for you, no point in

756
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 6: causing any drama over it, And honestly, that might be

757
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 6: something she would enjoy. Another user says, as an introvert

758
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 6: with some social anxiety, I don't think I've ever wanted

759
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 6: to go on a first date. Even if I really

760
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 6: liked the guy and wanted to go to the location,

761
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 6: my mind would always convince me I was going to

762
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 6: be unhappy. Luckily, most of my first dates had been

763
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 6: fine or great, sprinkle in a few duds. As an

764
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 6: older woman, I don't understand this need to post everything

765
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 6: that goes on in your life or in your mind.

766
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 6: Sometimes it's nice to just let passing thoughts pass. But

767
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 6: I also understand younger people grew up immersed in social

768
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 6: media and this is normal to them. This person has

769
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 6: made it clear that she's going to post things publicly

770
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 6: that you may think should be private. That alone may

771
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 6: drive you to decline any future dates with her, and

772
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 6: if so, just let her know you saw her TikTok

773
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 6: and aren't comfortable with your dates being the subject of

774
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 6: her videos beforeward, she may post. Before warned, she may

775
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 6: post about it. If you choose to see her again,

776
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 6: I think it's worth having an honest conversation and set

777
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,320
Speaker 6: your boundary around what you aren't comfortable with her posting.

778
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 2: I completely agree with that whole comment. Yeah, I think that. Yeah,

779
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 2: I think that's a really good point of I mean,

780
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 2: that's what kind of what I was saying of. It's

781
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: different now. I think people are a lot more willing

782
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: to post everything about their lives and there's less boundaries.

783
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 2: But also that you're allowed to have that boundary of

784
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 2: not wanting her to talk to talk about it.

785
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: Yep.

786
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 2: And if she's going to continue to do that, then

787
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: maybe she just needs a finer person who's okay with that.

788
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: Uh.

789
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 6: Another user says, I think context matters a lot. Was

790
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 6: she saying she didn't want to go out with you

791
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 6: or just wasn't in the mood to go out? Is

792
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 6: her content about social anxiety? I rarely want to actually

793
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 6: do things when I'm getting while I'm getting ready, it's

794
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 6: one hundred percent anxiety. But that does not mean I

795
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 6: don't want to spend time with the people I have

796
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 6: plans with, or she just really didn't want to go.

797
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 6: I don't know her, and I didn't see the video.

798
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,760
Speaker 6: My only point is that phrase alone doesn't necessarily speak

799
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 6: to her feelings about you. We have an update yep, Dade.

800
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

801
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 6: Ten days later, ooh.

802
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 2: Did they go in? Another day?

803
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: Did she post another TikTok?

804
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like this guy just told me that he

805
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,320
Speaker 2: was upset that I posted about him.

806
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 3: Or she probably posted that she went on another date.

807
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was like I want another date and I

808
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 2: wanted to go on this one.

809
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 6: After last week's post, I read almost every comment, or

810
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 6: at least most of them. I'm thankful to all those

811
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 6: who commented and shared a bit of their own personal story.

812
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 6: Some people mentioned that anxiety is normal and feeling like

813
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 6: not going out is definitely common, suggesting that I shouldn't

814
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 6: look too much into it. While I agree with their

815
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 6: perspective and see no fault in not feeling like going out.

816
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 6: What bothered me the most in this situation was having

817
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 6: to post a TikTok for a significant audience. I'm a

818
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 6: private person by nature, and even my social media accounts

819
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 6: like Instagram have only a single post. I don't really

820
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 6: like to overtly share, nor do I want to be

821
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,280
Speaker 6: with someone who does. Then she's just not that case.

822
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, in that case, she's just not for you, And

823
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 2: I don't actually think it really matters what her intention was.

824
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 6: It's completely fine to share whatever you want. I just

825
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 6: don't want to be a part of it, so I

826
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 6: decided not to contact her. I chose to pretend I

827
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 6: had never seen the post and let things be. I

828
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 6: understand a lot of people might think this isn't the

829
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 6: best choice, but I feel like it's the best course

830
00:39:59,040 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 6: for both of us.

831
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 3: Ah.

832
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:07,840
Speaker 2: I disagree only because one you guys are in similar

833
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 2: friend you have mutual friends.

834
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 6: I feel like it's gonna come up eventually.

835
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 2: I don't like ghosting people in any scenario. I think

836
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 2: you just you should have just said, hey, feeling friend vibes,

837
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,919
Speaker 2: not feeling romantic connection, but you know, thanks for the date.

838
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

839
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 6: Last Thursday, a few friends who also happened to know

840
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 6: her invited me for drinks. We went to a bar,

841
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 6: and while we were eating and enjoying our drinks, a

842
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 6: mutual friend asked me how my date went. As our

843
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 6: circle was aware that we were going on a date,

844
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 6: I didn't want to say much, so I just replied, Oh,

845
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 6: it was good, but I don't think we clicked. This

846
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 6: friend followed it by saying we figured, which made me

847
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 6: feel rather uneasy. When I asked what he was talking about,

848
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 6: he hesitated, but eventually said that they had seen a

849
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 6: TikTok post from her about not wanting to go out.

850
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 6: At this point, I didn't really know what to say.

851
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 6: This situation is just incredibly messy for me, but there's

852
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 6: not much I can do about it. Still, I wasn't

853
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,920
Speaker 6: going to mention it, nor did I try to look

854
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 6: up if there was an update, if there was any

855
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 6: update on her part. In fact, I deleted TikTok after

856
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:20,399
Speaker 6: that incident. Dang, it just wasn't doing me any good. Nevertheless,

857
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 6: this past Saturday, she sent me a text. She mentioned

858
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,720
Speaker 6: that she enjoyed our date and asked if I wanted

859
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 6: to go out again.

860
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 2: Dang, man can bring up the TikTok. You cannot bring

861
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 2: up the TikTok. You can be as honest as you want,

862
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 2: but say something. You gotta know, just say something, Come

863
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 2: on personally, oh ghost, Yeah.

864
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 6: I understand that she clearly stated that she enjoyed our

865
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,959
Speaker 6: time together. However, I don't want to be with someone

866
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,279
Speaker 6: who exposes so much of their personal life. It's not

867
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,240
Speaker 6: something that would be good for me. So I decided

868
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 6: to tell her the truth and sent a text explaining

869
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 6: that while I absolutely enjoyed our date, her company and

870
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 6: then I thought she was an amazing woman. Her post

871
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 6: from the night of our date came across my for

872
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 6: you page on TikTok, and it made me feel really

873
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 6: self conscious. While I understand that she enjoyed the date,

874
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 6: contrary to what she felt at the time of the post,

875
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 6: I didn't feel comfortable going out with someone who had

876
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 6: such a high level of exposure online. I wished her

877
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 6: the best and expressed hope that she finds someone whose

878
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 6: lifestyle aligns with hers. She has read the message and

879
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 6: left me on red. Ever since, I don't think she

880
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,439
Speaker 6: will reply, and I don't think we'll have a lot

881
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 6: of social interactions going forward. I'm sorry if this wasn't

882
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 6: the update you guys were expecting, but yeah, sadly that's

883
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 6: what the situation became. Anyhow, wish everyone a good day.

884
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 2: I think that's a perfectly fine situation. Yeah, I think

885
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 2: you didn't ghost her. I don't think I truth truthfully,

886
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 2: when you like project someone I don't really like, especially

887
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 2: our text, I really don't think that they have to respond.

888
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, at most could have been like a thanks for letting.

889
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 2: You know I don't like really, because I've been on

890
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 2: I've been on both sides of this where I've rejected someone,

891
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,799
Speaker 2: they don't respond and like someone's sad to that, and

892
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 2: I don't respond, and I think both. I think that's fine.

893
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 2: I think that you haven't been ghosted because it's been addressed,

894
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 2: and depending on what they said, I'm like, you don't

895
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 2: really need to respond to that at that point, you

896
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 2: can you didn't want to be in this relationship because

897
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: you weren't comfortable. Totally fine, she's gonna continue to have

898
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 2: this TikTok life. Totally fine, totally so good. I think

899
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,760
Speaker 2: this is fine. I have a crush on a regular

900
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 2: customer and I want to ask him out.

901
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 3: A little crush.

902
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 2: So I female twenty four, work part time as a

903
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,879
Speaker 2: waitress trying to pay off student loans, and I have

904
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 2: a huge crush on a guy who tends to come

905
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 2: in for breakfast or lunch a couple of times a

906
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 2: week on the day as I'm working. He's handsome, super sweet,

907
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 2: and I'm pretty sure he's single, but I'm not one

908
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 2: hundred percent sure. If I had to guess, i'd say

909
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: he's twenty five to twenty seven. I've gotten to know

910
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 2: him a little bit since we've sometimes talked. If I'm

911
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 2: not too busy, he said, he moved here a few

912
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 2: months ago. I'd love to ask him out, but I

913
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 2: have no idea how, and plus I get really nervous

914
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:14,879
Speaker 2: around him. By the way, this comes from Throway Pink

915
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 2: Clever and if you want to spend your own stories,

916
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay story Time, Separate It Show.

917
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 2: Whenever he comes in, my manager always makes sure I

918
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 2: get him, since she knows I have a big crush

919
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 2: on him. His bill is usually between eight dollars and

920
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 2: nine dollars, but he always pays with a twenty and

921
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 2: tells me to keep a shack. Ask him out, what's

922
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 2: your number? On a coffee cup that you're giving him?

923
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 2: Having been like a barista and I've been, I've been

924
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 2: on the receiving end of it, it's like worse when

925
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 2: like someone's asking you out and you don't like him, because.

926
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 6: That's what I was initially. I was like, Oh, don't

927
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 6: ask someone out at their job. I'm not, but you're

928
00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 6: not work.

929
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 2: I totally ask him out, just put it on the

930
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: coffee cup. Do you think that might be a sign

931
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 2: he likes me?

932
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:04,919
Speaker 5: Yeah?

933
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. My manager said she's seen him drive a really

934
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 2: expensive sports car. A couple of times, so the large

935
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:14,720
Speaker 2: tip might not mean anything.

936
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 6: No, I mean something.

937
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 2: But she said she catches him looking at me quite

938
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 2: a bit and said he never comes in when I'm

939
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 2: not working or at he's got up, he's got on.

940
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 2: Considering I'm kind of a shy person. What's the best

941
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 2: way to ask him out without being extremely embarrassed or nervous?

942
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 2: My hands are sweating just thinking about it. And there

943
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 2: are some notable comments.

944
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 3: I don't know.

945
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,760
Speaker 2: Read it down a napkin get I think the best

946
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 2: way if you want to ask someone out who you

947
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: don't really know, give them your number and then they

948
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 2: can text you or not. Yeah, best way. Notable comments?

949
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 2: How are you enjoying city? Have you seen some landmark

950
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 2: or attraction? Oh? Man, you haven't. It's my favorite. I

951
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 2: need to take you give number. If boobies have taught

952
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 2: me anything, it is that you're supposed to slip in

953
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 2: your phone number with the check for extra points. You

954
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 2: could do it, schmekes, you walk away from the table

955
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:05,439
Speaker 2: while looking impishly over your shoulder. Don't do that, Eh,

956
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 2: don't do that. That could go so wrong so quick.

957
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 6: You're gonna bump into like super something.

958
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 2: If you like a person who is working at a

959
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 2: place that you frequent and you want to ask him out,

960
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 2: Just leave him your number, don't put any pressure on it.

961
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 2: Leave him your number, say they thought you were cute

962
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 2: or like, appreciate whatever, blah blah blah.

963
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 6: And then in a place that I frequent.

964
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 2: And then leave because honestly, a guy's normal thought profcess

965
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:34,800
Speaker 2: regarding waitresses. Are there just really nice for the tips?

966
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 2: You're definitely gonna have to make the move on this one. Also,

967
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 2: as a former waiter, him giving you a fifty percent

968
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 2: tip is a good sign that he likes you. Comments Biop.

969
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:45,800
Speaker 2: He never waits for the bill since he comes in

970
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 2: all the time, he automatically knows how much it costs

971
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 2: and just leaves a twenty dollars on the table when

972
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:53,360
Speaker 2: he's done. Then he waves goodbye to me when he leaves.

973
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,840
Speaker 2: Somebody says, to be prepared for a letdown. This is

974
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 2: exactly what I'm afraid of. He's super sweet, so I

975
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 2: don't think he'd reject me in a bad way, but

976
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: you never know. One morning, I had a really grumpy

977
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 2: old man giving me a ton of crap for no reason,

978
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 2: and when I walked away, I saw him talking to

979
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 2: the old man. When I came back, the old man

980
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,279
Speaker 2: was suddenly very nice to me. Girl, he's got a

981
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 2: crush on you. I don't know what he said to

982
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:19,480
Speaker 2: the guy, but he'll obviously stuck up for me. Anyway.

983
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 2: That just kind of gives you an idea of what

984
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 2: type of guy he is. I appreciate your comment. I'll

985
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 2: try to be confident and if things don't work out,

986
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 2: I won't let it bring me down.

987
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 3: I agree.

988
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 2: I the best way to be with it just to

989
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 2: be chill. I honestly, I think some people are like,

990
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 2: never ask a person out who is working. Yeah, not

991
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 2: my personal opinion, but I think just be respectful either way.

992
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 2: If you're the worker.

993
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think that there's definitely certain situations where you

994
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 6: shouldish and you have to like really be in tune

995
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,399
Speaker 6: with the fact that it seems like you can.

996
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 3: But yeah, but I.

997
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,919
Speaker 2: Think even if if you're on short just leave an yeah,

998
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 2: leave it at that, head out. It's just be respectful.

999
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 2: We were talking about a retail store in our town

1000
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 2: and I told him I never go there. He asked why,

1001
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 2: and I told him my ex worked there. I tried

1002
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 2: to make it really obvious that I was single, but

1003
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 2: you know how guys are with hints.

1004
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 3: Lol.

1005
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, good advice.

1006
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:18,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1007
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 2: I thought about looking him up on Facebook, but I

1008
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 2: didn't want to come across as a creeper. I think

1009
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 2: I'm going to try and talk to him this week.

1010
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 2: I actually have this Friday off, and he comes in

1011
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 2: every Friday morning at the same exact time to eat breakfast.

1012
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 2: It would be super easy to just show up for

1013
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,359
Speaker 2: breakfast at the same time and sit in or near

1014
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 2: the spot he always sits.

1015
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: Haha.

1016
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 2: I literally have nothing planned on Fridays, so this could work.

1017
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 2: My manager keeps bugging me and asking me when I'm

1018
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 2: going to make a move. I'll have to fill her

1019
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 2: in tomorrow and let her know my possible plan. The

1020
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 2: manager's cool with it, and her family owns the restaurant,

1021
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 2: so I'm good and I plan on talking to him

1022
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,240
Speaker 2: while I'm off the clock. And there is an update

1023
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 2: six days later, so I think that it.

1024
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 6: Will have the week happened.

1025
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 2: That's the week it's gonna happy. Guys, We're about to

1026
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 2: do it and.

1027
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 6: It went great and he likes you back. That's my

1028
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:07,800
Speaker 6: friction back.

1029
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 2: I already know it.

1030
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 3: Updates six days later, I have good news Yeah.

1031
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 2: As I mentioned in my original post, I normally work

1032
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 2: Friday mornings and he comes in for breakfast at the

1033
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 2: same time every Friday.

1034
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 3: Well, I had.

1035
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 2: The day off and decided to show up for breakfast

1036
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: at the same time as am. It worked out perfectly. Yeah.

1037
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 2: I sat down in the area where he always sits

1038
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 2: and waited. About ten minutes later, he walked in the door,

1039
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 2: saw me sitting down ordering breakfacts breakfast, came up to

1040
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 2: me and looked a little puzzle because I wasn't wearing

1041
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 2: my uniform. He asked if I had the day off,

1042
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 2: and I said yes. He said that sucks. You're my

1043
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 2: favorite waitress.

1044
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 6: He said, you can just suit me and see day.

1045
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,359
Speaker 2: I also did my hair and put on some few

1046
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 2: clothes that morning, and he noticed because he coughlimented me

1047
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 2: and said I looked really fretty. I could feel my

1048
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 2: face getting hot. Me too, girl, Oh my goodness, Oh

1049
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 2: my goodness. If anyone said this to.

1050
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 6: Me and then they sat next to you and laid

1051
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 6: their head on your shoulder, No, that.

1052
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 2: Would never happen anyway. Next thing I know, he asked

1053
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 2: if he could sit at my table with it.

1054
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 6: Aha.

1055
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 2: I was so nervous guys never give me butterflies, but

1056
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 2: he gives them to me all the time. But I

1057
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,839
Speaker 2: acted totally normal. I tried not to be a door hah.

1058
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 2: Normally I'm very shy around him, but he made me

1059
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 2: feel comfortable and was super easy to talk to. We

1060
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 2: sat and talked for a while before our breakfast came.

1061
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: It was so much fun. My manager was the one

1062
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 2: waiting on us, which she never does, but she's been

1063
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:51,919
Speaker 2: encouraging me to make a move on him for quite

1064
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 2: a while. She was so happy for me, and I

1065
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 2: know exactly she's coming up to be opening, like she's

1066
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 2: wondering how you guys get you in here? Anyway I feel.

1067
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 2: I felt like he was giving me signals the entire time,

1068
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,320
Speaker 2: which made me a lot more confident. So I finally

1069
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 2: worked up the court courage and asked if he'd like

1070
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 2: to hang out sometime, and he agreed.

1071
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did, because he's got a russ.

1072
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,799
Speaker 2: We swapped numbers and he's been texting and flirting with

1073
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,839
Speaker 2: me a few times a day ever since he's got

1074
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 2: a Corrussian.

1075
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 6: You.

1076
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:28,759
Speaker 2: Since we've been texting, I've learned that we both enjoy hiking,

1077
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,319
Speaker 2: so I suggested that we go hiking and check out

1078
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:35,239
Speaker 2: an old lighthouse cool which isn't too far from where

1079
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,720
Speaker 2: we live. Just moved here, so he's never seen it before.

1080
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 2: We live on the Great Lakes, northern Michigan, so that's

1081
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 2: what we're planning on doing this week. When we were

1082
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: texting last night, he mentioned that he'd like to go

1083
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 2: to this fall festival which is coming up in a

1084
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 2: couple of weeks, and wanted to know if I'd go

1085
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 2: with him. So I playfully said, are you asking me

1086
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 2: out on a date? He he, and he said yes,

1087
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:03,359
Speaker 2: will you please go with me? Up day two, three

1088
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 2: months later. It's been a couple of months since my

1089
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:10,720
Speaker 2: last posts, so I think you all deserve how todays.

1090
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 2: First of all, thank you read it. I sincerely mean

1091
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 2: that I was just a shy girl with a crush

1092
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:19,800
Speaker 2: on a handsome stranger and to think that he's not

1093
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 2: my booby just nuts. Two months ago. I left off

1094
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 2: by mentioning that I was going to take him on

1095
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:32,439
Speaker 2: a date and show him around the area a little

1096
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 2: bit since he just moved here. I talked about how

1097
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 2: we both love hiking, so I planned to take him

1098
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 2: to this lighthole house, which is only a short drive

1099
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 2: from where we live. I was afraid it was gonna rain,

1100
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 2: but it turned out to be the perfect day. We

1101
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:47,879
Speaker 2: backed a little picnic and spent an afternoon hiking. I

1102
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 2: thought it was so romantic. We had a great time.

1103
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 2: Over the next couple of weeks, we continued to see

1104
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 2: each other and go on fun dates. I wanted to

1105
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 2: take things to the next levels so bad, but I

1106
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 2: wanted to make sure he felt the same way about me.

1107
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,760
Speaker 2: After a couple of weeks of dating, we were hanging

1108
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,720
Speaker 2: out of his place one night, cuddling and watching a movie,

1109
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 2: and that's when he finally asked me to be exclusive.

1110
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 2: I love that, you said a couple of weeks finally, Like,

1111
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 2: it's been a couple of weeks, but I.

1112
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 6: Love It a really long time to become someone.

1113
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes people take four months. Uh, it was the

1114
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 2: best night. So we've been in an exclusive relationship for

1115
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 2: a couple of months now, but I feel like I've

1116
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 2: known him forever. We just click. He has a huge

1117
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 2: family and they had Thanksgiving last weekend, which I was

1118
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 2: invited tip. I'm a shy person, so I was a

1119
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 2: little nervous, but they made me feel so welcome. His

1120
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:46,839
Speaker 2: mother's a total sweetheart, and his dad is hilarious. When

1121
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 2: we were leaving, I gave his parents hugs, and his

1122
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 2: mom says to me, you know, he talks about you

1123
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 2: all the time. He's like madly alone with you. My

1124
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:01,439
Speaker 2: boy friend was so embarrassed. I've never seen him get

1125
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:05,800
Speaker 2: so red. I invited him to my family's Thanksgiving as well.

1126
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 2: My family loved him, which was a huge relief because

1127
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 2: my dad hasn't liked any of my past boyfriends. But

1128
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 2: he immediately took a liking to him and had to

1129
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:16,720
Speaker 2: show him around his shop because they're both into cars.

1130
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 3: I love this.

1131
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 2: It was so nice to finally bring a guy home

1132
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 2: that dad approves off. And of course my mom and

1133
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:27,760
Speaker 2: aunts thought he was hunk Ella to talk about awkward anyway,

1134
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:29,799
Speaker 2: I just figured i'd let you know about the date

1135
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 2: and that we're finally a couple. Thanks for all your

1136
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 2: help a couple of months ago when I wanted to

1137
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 2: ask him out. You guys really encouraged me, so thank you,

1138
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 2: And folks, he got more.

1139
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:41,399
Speaker 6: So we got more, right, right, No, there's more, there's more.

1140
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:42,839
Speaker 6: They're engaged. There's the lighthouse there.

1141
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 2: Sorry, there is another update.

1142
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 6: There is you guys can't.

1143
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 2: It's not You're not gonna see it, but it is there.

1144
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 3: It's there.

1145
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 2: Five years later, we're engaged, yes each other and the

1146
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:56,960
Speaker 2: and the end.

1147
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, HET's Johnny Old here. We're gonna get back to

1148
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 1: the stories. But here's a quick three minute break of

1149
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:03,719
Speaker 1: ass form more sponsors.

1150
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 6: My girlfriend started acting cold after she went on a

1151
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:08,839
Speaker 6: girl's trip.

1152
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:09,879
Speaker 2: Well warm her up.

1153
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 6: So I, twenty five male, have been with my girlfriend,

1154
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 6: twenty two female for about two years. We've been living

1155
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 6: together for a few months and things have mostly been

1156
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 6: really good. Yeah, little arguments here and there, but nothing major.

1157
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from North Winter Fox and

1158
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 6: if you want us to make your own stories, go

1159
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:32,920
Speaker 6: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. Whoo, So, last weekend,

1160
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 6: she went on a trip with her college friends to

1161
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 6: this lake house, one of their family's owns. It was

1162
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,840
Speaker 6: just the girls, kind of a last summer thing before

1163
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 6: a couple of them move out of state. I was

1164
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 6: totally fine with it, told her to go have fun,

1165
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 6: no issues there, But when she got back, something fell off.

1166
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 3: Immediately.

1167
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 6: She walked in, barely looked at me, gave me a

1168
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 6: quick hug, and then went straight to the bedroom to unpack.

1169
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 6: She didn't even say she missed me or anything. We

1170
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 6: usually text a bunch when we're apart, but she was

1171
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 6: distant the whole trip too, shorter responses, slower replies. Since

1172
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 6: she's been back, she's been weirdly quiet, not mad, just distant.

1173
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 6: She's been zoning out, not really laughing at stuff like

1174
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 6: she usually does, and just kind of flat when we talk.

1175
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,240
Speaker 6: I asked her how the trip was, and she literally

1176
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:32,320
Speaker 6: said it was all right and changed the topic. No stories,

1177
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 6: no funny moments, no picks, nothing, which is super unlike her.

1178
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:40,479
Speaker 6: She normally comes back from any outing with like ten

1179
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 6: stories and a ton of photos. The other thing is

1180
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 6: she's been journaling a lot since she came back. Not bad,

1181
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 6: just new. She's always been into mindfulness and stuff, but

1182
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 6: this felt different. I asked if everything was okay, and

1183
00:56:56,520 --> 00:57:00,319
Speaker 6: she just said she's tired and processing a lot. I

1184
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:03,200
Speaker 6: tried pressing gently, and she told me I was being

1185
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:07,879
Speaker 6: overly clingy and that she needs space. I've never been

1186
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:11,799
Speaker 6: called clinging before, so that's stung. I tried asking her

1187
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 6: friends if something happened, but they brushed it off and

1188
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:15,720
Speaker 6: told me not to worry.

1189
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 2: No I don't like that.

1190
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 3: I would be like, no, I am worried.

1191
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 2: I'm very worried. Please tell me if anything happened.

1192
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 6: So now I'm sitting here wondering what happened on that

1193
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 6: trip that made her come back a totally different person.

1194
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 6: She's not mad at me, but it feels like she

1195
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 6: left as one version of herself and came back as another.

1196
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 6: And she won't let me in at all. Am I overreacting?

1197
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 6: And we have an update?

1198
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 2: Should we? I don't think you're overreacting. I think if

1199
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 2: she's completely different, then yeah, press into it.

1200
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 6: I think you would definitely know, like if something is off,

1201
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 6: something's off.

1202
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 2: I do appreciate that he has not jumped to cheating though.

1203
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1204
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 3: I think he's just.

1205
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:57,160
Speaker 2: Like I'm worried for yeah, and maybe she is cheating,

1206
00:57:57,440 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 2: Like I don't want to say, like, there's no way

1207
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 2: that she could like but I liked but that her

1208
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 2: safeties first, which I think is important.

1209
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 6: Update. It wasn't really a planned discussion, just kind of happened.

1210
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 6: I had asked one of her friends earlier if something

1211
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 6: was going on. She didn't really open up, but told

1212
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 6: me it wouldn't be her place to say. I thought

1213
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 6: I wouldn't get anything out of her, so I said

1214
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 6: effet and decided I tried talking to my girlfriend. Later,

1215
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 6: she came home from work, acting off again the usual,

1216
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 6: barely said anything, didn't eat the dinner I had prepared,

1217
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 6: almost immediately went for a long walk outside, then straight

1218
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 6: to the shower, where she's spent forever. Later, she just

1219
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 6: stayed in our bedroom, laying around and not really engaging

1220
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 6: with me.

1221
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 2: I would be super worried about her.

1222
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,959
Speaker 6: Yeah, I went in after a while to ask about

1223
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 6: her day.

1224
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 2: Gently.

1225
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 6: I wasn't pressing or nagging, just calmly asked if she

1226
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 6: could please just talk to me, because I care about

1227
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 6: her and how she feels. I told her I wasn't

1228
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 6: trying to fight or blame her. I just wanted to

1229
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 6: understand what's going on. Since we always share everything, it's

1230
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 6: unfair to keep me in the dark, and I'd support

1231
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 6: her either way. Whatever it was, She didn't say much,

1232
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 6: just kept mumbling about not knowing what to say, wasn't

1233
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 6: really feeling it, she was tired, et cetera. So I

1234
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:21,160
Speaker 6: stepped back, spent some time on my own, and went

1235
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 6: for a walk. Eventually, later that day she started opening

1236
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 6: up a little. I guess she had enough time to

1237
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:30,919
Speaker 6: reflect and gather her thoughts. I'm not gonna put every

1238
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 6: single word she said here in quotations because it feels

1239
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 6: personal and I'm still trying to process it myself, but basically, yeah,

1240
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 6: something happened on the trip with her and the girls.

1241
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:45,960
Speaker 6: She didn't say exactly what she did, but made it

1242
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 6: really clear that it went way past what would be

1243
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 6: okay in a relationship like way past. There were plans

1244
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 6: for drinking during the trip. We both drink, and it's

1245
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 6: never been a problem. She's never been a heavy drinker

1246
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 6: and has always stayed with in reasonable limits. She said

1247
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 6: what happened wasn't planned and that it just kind of did,

1248
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 6: and that she wasn't herself, which honestly just made me

1249
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 6: feel a not in my stomach, like she was preparing

1250
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 6: me for something really bad. So I encouraged her to

1251
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 6: just say it. That she'd already said enough for me

1252
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 6: to not back down. Now I deserved to know. She said,

1253
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 6: the trip went really the trip went well. Regarding the

1254
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 6: original plan. They drank, went to the sauna by the lake,

1255
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 6: swam played games, hung around. Normal doesn't sound awful, right, Okay,

1256
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 6: sounds like a normal weekend trip with friends.

1257
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 3: Sounds like it.

1258
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 6: Later that night, they'd been drinking, more partying, listening to music,

1259
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,920
Speaker 6: enjoying themselves. Some were drinking and hanging out in the

1260
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 6: hot tub, while others hung around inside the cabin, playing

1261
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 6: board games and talking. My girlfriend talks in circles about

1262
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:56,320
Speaker 6: this and tries proving how it was a good trip

1263
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 6: and that they all enjoyed it. Eventually, though, she gets

1264
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 6: to the point and tells me why she's been down.

1265
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 6: Later in the evening, someone suggested a drinking game. They

1266
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 6: played bottlespin with a twist of drinking or doing dares.

1267
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:14,440
Speaker 6: A couple of the girls were pushing it, encouraging it.

1268
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 6: She admitted she went along with it and wanted to play,

1269
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:22,080
Speaker 6: but the way she said it, she looked ashamed. The

1270
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 6: dares were innocent at first, celebrity crushes, secret silly stuff,

1271
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:30,360
Speaker 6: but they got out of hand as more drinks were consumed.

1272
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 6: Some girls dared others to kiss each other, play mary

1273
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:38,080
Speaker 6: f kill, pour drinks into each other's mouths, obviously something

1274
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 6: that could escalate quickly. My girlfriend says she felt it

1275
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 6: was fun in the moment and didn't feel she did

1276
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 6: anything wrong, that it was all consensual and normal for

1277
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 6: girls when tipsy. She says she doesn't remember everything well

1278
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:54,240
Speaker 6: due to her hangover the next day, and isn't even

1279
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 6: sure what she did. She felt bad because she obviously

1280
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 6: doesn't like girls that way and normally doesn't do these

1281
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 6: kinds of things. She never explicitly says what she participated in,

1282
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 6: but talks like she's guilty. There was one girl there,

1283
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 6: let's call her Ellie. I've met her before. My girlfriend said.

1284
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 6: Ellie hadn't participated and left the cabin when things started happening,

1285
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 6: mentioning she wasn't feeling well. They talked later that night outside,

1286
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 6: but nothing happened between them. My girlfriend said she hasn't

1287
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 6: talked to her or the girls much after the trip.

1288
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:33,120
Speaker 6: I didn't yell at her or get angry, just sat there.

1289
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 6: I didn't know how to respond. She kept saying she

1290
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,080
Speaker 6: didn't know why she shut down and has been feeling

1291
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 6: horrible since that. She didn't know how to tell me

1292
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:45,600
Speaker 6: and needed time to word her thoughts. We've been distant

1293
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:48,880
Speaker 6: with each other after the talk. There's this heaviness between

1294
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 6: us since she got back. Now I know why I

1295
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 6: told her I needed space and went for a walk.

1296
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 6: When I came back, I just sat in the living room,

1297
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:00,840
Speaker 6: not really looking at her. I don't see life without her,

1298
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:02,760
Speaker 6: but I don't know if I can look at her

1299
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 6: the same way again, not just because of what she

1300
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 6: maybe did, but because she came home and shut me out.

1301
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 6: Made me feel like I was crazy for noticing something

1302
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 6: was wrong. We have some edits, but like, besides the kissing,

1303
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 6: when you're like that's obviously like, yeah, she like kissed people,

1304
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 6: while like that's not cool, the rest of it really wasn't.

1305
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:23,840
Speaker 6: The kissing is ch dah right.

1306
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 2: I think that he's upset because she's unwilling to tell him,

1307
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 2: like he's had to really drag it out of her,

1308
01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 2: and she's still hiding stuff.

1309
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 3: That's fair.

1310
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 6: Edit one I phoned her friend demanding answers since I

1311
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 6: couldn't get them from my girlfriend. She confirmed there were

1312
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 6: more people joining them over the weekend than than just

1313
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 6: their initial friend group and told me to talk to

1314
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 6: my girlfriend if I was so concerned. I was emotional

1315
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 6: and raised my voice since I'm trying to get a

1316
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 6: clear answer. She and Ellie are the only ones I

1317
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:59,080
Speaker 6: can reach. So there were more people that came in Tooeah.

1318
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 6: I don't trust this edit too. I'll be making an

1319
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:07,720
Speaker 6: update later. Everything's overwhelming and I need to sort things out.

1320
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 6: And we have that update.

1321
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 2: Oh boy, let's get into it.

1322
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 6: I'll be staying somewhere else for a couple more days

1323
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 6: before starting to make preparations for splitting off.

1324
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 3: Oh wow.

1325
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 6: I finally had a proper conversation with Ellie. It wasn't quick.

1326
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:25,880
Speaker 6: We talked all evening. She didn't seem to want to

1327
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 6: at first, but eventually she opened up. She was the

1328
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:32,560
Speaker 6: only one who wasn't drinking or participating, and I respect

1329
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 6: her for being straight with me. She told me this.

1330
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 6: The group was drinking heavily, and at one point some

1331
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 6: of the girls invited a few guys over Heardy invited

1332
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 6: a few guys over who were staying nearby, guys I

1333
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:51,560
Speaker 6: had no idea would be there. She's not sure if

1334
01:04:51,560 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 6: this was the plan all along, or if it was

1335
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:57,040
Speaker 6: the girl's idea in the moment. She didn't know about

1336
01:04:57,040 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 6: it beforehand. The drinking game started getting more were intense

1337
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:04,840
Speaker 6: with the guys involvedkes According to her, my girlfriend ended

1338
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:08,120
Speaker 6: up making out with two different people. One of the girls,

1339
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,439
Speaker 6: the same girl who told me not to worry about

1340
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 6: it and wouldn't give answers when I contacted her originally.

1341
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 2: She said that, yeah, said don't worry about it.

1342
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:18,920
Speaker 6: And one of the guys there was a lot of

1343
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 6: touching that wasn't just playful. As far as Ellie knows,

1344
01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 6: she didn't if anyone thanks, She says, she left and

1345
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 6: doesn't know what happened afterwards. But it was far past

1346
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:33,480
Speaker 6: anything I'd ever be okay with, and definitely past anything

1347
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 6: we ever agreed was acceptable in our relationship. What hit

1348
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:41,960
Speaker 6: me the hardest was how, according to Ellie, my girlfriend

1349
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:46,160
Speaker 6: wasn't even that wasted at that point. Tipsy, sure, but

1350
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:49,560
Speaker 6: not blacked out or out of control. She'd been laughing,

1351
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 6: very involved and didn't seem pressured. She wasn't out of

1352
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:56,720
Speaker 6: it like she tried to make it sound. Ellie left

1353
01:05:56,800 --> 01:06:00,280
Speaker 6: because she was uncomfortable, and when she returned later, my

1354
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 6: girlfriend was still in full party mode. Talking was all

1355
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,480
Speaker 6: slurred and she was a mess.

1356
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,720
Speaker 2: You have confirmation she cheated on you twice.

1357
01:06:07,760 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 6: Now, Yeah, and I mean he's getting out, h.

1358
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:13,640
Speaker 2: I mean he was already getting out when Yeah, I

1359
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:15,480
Speaker 2: still wanted to get out when she told me kiss

1360
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 2: a girl or she kissed a girl.

1361
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, I talked with my girlfriend, well mine now ex

1362
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:24,120
Speaker 6: over the phone, but all I got was mumbles or

1363
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:27,080
Speaker 6: silent treatment. I flat out said I know what she

1364
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:29,360
Speaker 6: did and that she could at least admit it to

1365
01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:32,120
Speaker 6: me before I break it off. Asked if I meant

1366
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:34,640
Speaker 6: anything to her or if all of our time together

1367
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:38,040
Speaker 6: has been fake. Asked about how long she had problems

1368
01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 6: with her drinking, since I've always thought of her as

1369
01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:43,280
Speaker 6: mature and smart woman. She was sobbing and told me

1370
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 6: she could help me understand if I came home and

1371
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:48,080
Speaker 6: she could make up for all of it, and even

1372
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 6: if she did do it, she still loved me. So

1373
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 6: I'm done. I can't stay in something where I'm lied to,

1374
01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 6: gas lit and made to feel like I'm overreacting for

1375
01:06:58,040 --> 01:07:01,439
Speaker 6: noticing something is off. She came home and shut down.

1376
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:05,000
Speaker 6: Instead of being honest, she let me stay confused, even

1377
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,680
Speaker 6: when I was trying to comfort her, when she should

1378
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:10,840
Speaker 6: have been honest the second she walked through the door. Hell,

1379
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 6: she should have admitted it as soon as it happened,

1380
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:15,920
Speaker 6: not that it would have made what she did right