Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the
Speaker 1: Jack Off trend Motion. Uh, or we would have also accepted,
Speaker 1: Uh jack Off, No, that was that's it.
Speaker 2: That one's courtesy of mine.
Speaker 1: I thought he'd give me three options, but he just
Speaker 1: wrote the same one over and over again. Uh.
Speaker 2: That one's courtesy of on the discord.
Speaker 1: My name is Jack and I'm thrilled to be joined
Speaker 1: by super producer Brian the Editor.
Speaker 3: Well that was that was long. That was a long yell. Yes,
Speaker 3: it's me Brian the Editor. I'm here because Miles is not.
Speaker 2: In my mic. Sounds nice.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show. It's great to have you
Speaker 1: as always. Thank you, Thank you Maniche for the short
Speaker 1: show title. Sorry to have butchered it.
Speaker 2: Let's see.
Speaker 1: Yes, Miles is out on assignment. Uh, and we are
Speaker 1: here checking out the trends. And what a batch of
Speaker 1: trends we have for the listeners today. Brian, we got
Speaker 1: King Charles's first official portrait since the coronation. We've all
Speaker 1: been waiting on the edge of our seats.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 2: What what's the first official portrait going to be?
Speaker 3: Like? It's going to give heavy ghostbusters two vibes, which
Speaker 3: I was not expecting.
Speaker 1: I wonder was this like a big event Back in
Speaker 1: the day, they were like, all when somebody was coronated,
Speaker 1: they were like, oh man, you see the new coronation
Speaker 1: portrait just dropped.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it had to be like a big deal back
Speaker 3: then when you know, there was no like TV or
Speaker 3: TikTok or yeah that stuff. But yeah, so the painting
Speaker 3: is bathed swapped in.
Speaker 1: Right, cut that so it's either extremely pink or extremely red,
Speaker 1: and we honestly couldn't determine which, like you to producer,
Speaker 1: justin both thought it was bathed in red, which would
Speaker 1: be very sinister, right for a you know, the head
Speaker 1: of an empire that has been built on bones and blood,
Speaker 1: and also funny for somebody who was you know, flirtatiously
Speaker 1: telling his mistress that he wanted to be your tampon.
Speaker 2: But I see pink for some reason.
Speaker 3: I mean it is a lighter shade of like okay,
Speaker 3: like if I'm not saying the painting was actually painted
Speaker 3: in blood, because obviously it would have like a much
Speaker 3: you know, in blood dries, it has a much darker hue.
Speaker 3: It's more brown. Yeah, right, I'm thinking like this is
Speaker 3: this is like Evan D's horror movie Blood.
Speaker 1: Yes, seventies, like The Wild Bunch Blow or like the
Speaker 1: Day of.
Speaker 3: Day of the Dead or Donna the Dead where it's
Speaker 3: like the blood is just a little too vibrant.
Speaker 4: Yeah, of a hue and.
Speaker 2: Which I thought I thought of that. Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 3: For the ooze from Ghostbusters because but it has this irridescent.
Speaker 4: Quality to it. Yeah, that is very.
Speaker 3: Look, there's no way to look at this painting without
Speaker 3: thinking of Vigo the Carpathian.
Speaker 4: It's impossible.
Speaker 3: If you've seen that movie and you look at this painting,
Speaker 3: You're you're gonna get chills. The eyes are going to
Speaker 3: follow you around the room. Right, It's it's a choice, man,
Speaker 3: I don't know what the.
Speaker 4: Fuck this is.
Speaker 2: It is definitely a choice.
Speaker 1: I do wonder like what if the artist Jonathan Yo
Speaker 1: like comes out and is like, so, I'm a big
Speaker 1: GB two fan. I've just always loved that. I thought
Speaker 1: this guy gives off goes usters too. I doubt that's
Speaker 1: where it's coming from, but yes, that is the sinister
Speaker 1: connotation that you could you can detect if if even
Speaker 1: if you think of it as pink. But it's interesting,
Speaker 1: like even the media accounts of the painting are like
Speaker 1: some headlines are like pretty and pink, and others are
Speaker 1: like it is like, you know, covered in blood, red
Speaker 1: and I don't know, it's like the new dress, you know,
Speaker 1: like different different colors. Yeah, but anyways, zeigang sound off
Speaker 1: of the comments what are you see in here? You
Speaker 1: see him pink, you see in red, but even you
Speaker 1: are saying it's giving you light red, which I have
Speaker 1: frequently referred to as a pink.
Speaker 3: Okay, look smart guy, there's you know, let's move on.
Speaker 1: It does totally change the meaning of the painting because,
Speaker 1: like if you ever read the letters that he has
Speaker 1: written two people, he thinks of himself as like I'm
Speaker 1: like the eco monarch and like I'm all about gardens
Speaker 1: and beauty and nature.
Speaker 4: He's had a little butterfly on his shoulder.
Speaker 2: He does a little butterfly on his shoulder, which.
Speaker 3: Is kind of hard to really parse that because of
Speaker 3: all the blood, But.
Speaker 4: There is a monarch butterfly on his shoulder.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: His big sausage fingers are front and center, like because
Speaker 1: everything is red or pink except for his head and
Speaker 1: his fingies, and his fingies are plump. They did not
Speaker 1: hide that. I mean, they probably slimmed them down quite
Speaker 1: a bit, but they still, you know, are notably pretty
Speaker 1: pretty sausage. They're giving a full serving of sausage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they really captured his his dead eyes and his
Speaker 3: palette complexion perfectly.
Speaker 1: Anyways, who gives a shit? I don't, but people are
Speaker 1: talking about it, and that's what this show is about.
Speaker 2: I just keep following me, man, they just keep following me.
Speaker 1: The eyes, well, they're bait. They're like deep set inside
Speaker 1: his head. Maybe they made it like right on the
Speaker 1: edge of red and like sinister on purpose. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it'll be interesting.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: TikTok users are dipping their testicles in soy sauce to
Speaker 1: taste it. So that's what's going on on TikTok.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: There there are apparently taste receptors in the testicles, but Brian,
Speaker 1: wouldn't you know it? And now I look like a
Speaker 1: full There aren't taste buds, so I you know here,
Speaker 1: I am h like I think we all have been
Speaker 1: doing this for for a long time, taste testing our
Speaker 1: food with our testicles. Uh and lo and behold, it
Speaker 1: turns out no taste buds, just taste receptors.
Speaker 5: I've heard I've heard this before in regards to eat
Speaker 5: where if you like, rub garlic on your foot, like
Speaker 5: an hour later, it'll like it'll like somehow go into
Speaker 5: your bloodstream and then you'll.
Speaker 3: Be able to taste it in your mouth. And I'm
Speaker 3: just like, why, garlic is amazing. It's an amazing whatever
Speaker 3: kind of vegetable or fruit it is. Uh yeah, and
Speaker 3: why would you waste it rubbing on your foot or
Speaker 3: your testicles. Don't rub garlic on your testicles, everybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you do anything spicy? I would not
Speaker 2: rubbing your testicles.
Speaker 1: This is like what is compelling slash confusing about social
Speaker 1: media is that like things get flattened out, so your
Speaker 1: news is right next to a what seems like a
Speaker 1: trick that people are playing on their little brother liked
Speaker 1: it online.
Speaker 4: A lot of what TikTok seems to be or like weird,
Speaker 4: like household hecks that require you.
Speaker 3: To have like a whole machine shop and all this
Speaker 3: Google stuff and it serves no purpose and it's weird
Speaker 3: and off put.
Speaker 1: In just the kitchen hacks where it's the person making
Speaker 1: spaghetti and meatballs on a countertop and it's like Oh no,
Speaker 1: you're just like being mean to gullible people.
Speaker 3: Are You're just dumping a bunch of shit into a
Speaker 3: sheet pan and putting it in the oven.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what, no, like this is? This is clearly
Speaker 4: a prank. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And as has been canonically established by Marcel Argueyo
Speaker 1: on this show, if anyone was going to know whether
Speaker 1: your balls could taste and sense anything, it would be
Speaker 1: old smelly balls, O'Brien. And I'm not getting anything. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'm just super used to the whatever is happening down there,
Speaker 1: but yeah, no, I think the lights are off down
Speaker 1: there in terms of taste buds.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, people, please stop trying things you see on TikTok.
Speaker 4: Yeah right, all.
Speaker 1: Right, let's take a quick break and then we're gonna
Speaker 1: come back and talk about why the news cycle is broken.
Speaker 2: We'll be right back, and we're back now.
Speaker 1: He's the host of the show.
Speaker 2: Fuck, all right, take it away?
Speaker 4: Uh what do we get? What we get?
Speaker 2: What else? What else?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 2: Do my job? What else? What else?
Speaker 3: Let me tell you you don't want you don't want
Speaker 3: Jack's job. He has to like pay attention and know
Speaker 3: what's happening next and stuff.
Speaker 2: And then say what else? What else?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard all right?
Speaker 1: So Chuck E Cheese's animatronic band, This is a little
Speaker 1: quiz for GDZ listeners. I'm gonna start the story. You
Speaker 1: tell me if you notice anything. Chuck E Cheese's animatronic
Speaker 1: band is dead. There are a lot of headlines this
Speaker 1: week about how Chuck E Cheese is acting it's animatronic band,
Speaker 1: including a write up in Billboard in the music news
Speaker 1: category as if this is like a real group that's
Speaker 1: being youzed like putting.
Speaker 4: Get This isn't the banana splits, like come on?
Speaker 1: It's all stems from a New York Times report that
Speaker 1: outlines how Chuck E Cheese is getting rid of munches
Speaker 1: make Believe banned at all but two of their four
Speaker 1: hundred US locations. Instead, they're going to focus on more screens,
Speaker 1: digital dance floors and trampoline gym's digital dance floors. Isn't
Speaker 1: that just like the dance dance revolution games like.
Speaker 3: The still four hundred Chuck E Cheeses in the United States.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the thing that this is like a
Speaker 1: thing that you you see the world again with new
Speaker 1: eyes when you become a parent and in some cases
Speaker 1: that is a good thing, and you're like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I see like the wonder of nature. I'm like seeing
Speaker 1: everything again like through their eyes. And the other thing
Speaker 1: you realize is that Chuck E Cheese is thriving.
Speaker 4: Private equity would have.
Speaker 2: Would have come through fucked them up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just seems like one of those legacy kind of.
Speaker 1: Brands that So what happened with Chuck E Cheese is
Speaker 1: as arcades were dying everywhere, Chuck E Cheese was still
Speaker 1: left over and had some arcade games and just like
Speaker 1: slowly expanded out until now they are just like basically
Speaker 1: the most common arcade.
Speaker 3: It's them and Dave and Busters. Yeah, the upscale discerning manchild.
Speaker 1: Yes exactly, So no more ballpits. It's all just a
Speaker 1: video game arcade essentially, with like the rotting husks of
Speaker 1: the munch As Make Believe band up there in like
Speaker 1: most locations, the animatronic band is still up there. I
Speaker 1: have had some of our kids birthday parties at a
Speaker 1: Chuck E Cheese at one of them, at least, I
Speaker 1: think they tried to like make the band like still
Speaker 1: happen and be like all right, everybody, get your hands together,
Speaker 1: like get excited because it's about to go down holy shit,
Speaker 1: like hype manning up this animatronic band and then it's
Speaker 1: just like it's just three animatronics. Yeah yeah, just like
Speaker 1: dying a slow death like up up on stage anyways. Uh. Now,
Speaker 1: no more bands, just screens, digital dance floors, trampoline gyms,
Speaker 1: which presumably it's just easier to clean puke off of
Speaker 1: those things than a forty year old rat robot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or a ballpit, like how you I've never understood
Speaker 3: how you clean cuke out of a ball pit.
Speaker 1: They didn't either, That's why they're no more ballpit those
Speaker 1: are gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was they were like, we get these the.
Speaker 1: Fuck out of here. However, so this is where it
Speaker 1: gets a little weird. We've like covered this story every
Speaker 1: two years, like since the show has been in existence.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, that's true.
Speaker 1: Like last fall we got this exact same story, only
Speaker 1: then the band was only only being left in one location.
Speaker 1: And then back in twenty seventeen when the show first started,
Speaker 1: it was reported that Chuck E. Cheese was ditching the band,
Speaker 1: Like it's.
Speaker 3: Just maybe they get a bump every time, must say
Speaker 3: a bump, like getting rid of the band, people pull
Speaker 3: up to pay respects and they get a little more life.
Speaker 3: And I know it worked for Jamie Loftus, right, wasn't
Speaker 3: kind of like she's like.
Speaker 1: Wait what she so she had Jamie has been trying
Speaker 1: to manage the band for a long time and it
Speaker 1: hasn't quite worked out, unfortunately.
Speaker 2: But it's just like.
Speaker 1: I've always suspected that like part of the news cycle
Speaker 1: is like fueled by marketing companies just being like this
Speaker 1: this will I'm sorry, actually will actually be good for
Speaker 1: your bottom line. And yeah, they're just like, hey, we're
Speaker 1: going to we're going to reissue the they're killing the
Speaker 1: band thing, Like no downside for them on the one
Speaker 1: and they get to be like, now we're doubling down
Speaker 1: on these fun things and like getting rid of this
Speaker 1: thing you're nostalgic for, so hurry up and like come
Speaker 1: out and see it.
Speaker 2: Before it goes away.
Speaker 1: Or maybe they just like keep tearfully changing their minds
Speaker 1: at the last minute because they really do believe it's
Speaker 1: a real band. It's hard to tell what's happening here.
Speaker 1: Whichever it is, we're suckers because we just keep covering it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's woefully effective drag.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is no other way to describe it is
Speaker 3: woefully effective.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, and then we wanted to talk about
Speaker 1: there's some good horror coming our way, maybe just a
Speaker 1: couple of trailers then from horror nepo Babies that I'm
Speaker 1: always the first to you know, admit, sometimes nepotism works,
Speaker 1: and there's just I don't know. These two trailers, one
Speaker 1: from M Night Shyamalan's Daughter is Ishana and another from
Speaker 1: u Osgod Perkins Anthony Perkins's son. So Anthony Perkins of
Speaker 1: Psycho fame, his son has like a you know, this
Speaker 1: is not his first film, and you've seen you've seen
Speaker 1: some of his past films.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, The black Coat's Daughter was like a sort
Speaker 3: of gothic horror slow burn kind of kind of film
Speaker 3: he did a few years ago. He's got a few
Speaker 3: films under his belt and they've been received well.
Speaker 4: And he's got it like, he's got a style. He's
Speaker 4: got a style.
Speaker 3: He seems like he's a talented writer and director. And yeah,
Speaker 3: this trailer.
Speaker 2: Was this trailer.
Speaker 1: His film is called Long Legs, and yeah, I just
Speaker 1: suggest people go check it out. It's I don't know
Speaker 1: there's just there's some good writing, like it keeps cutting
Speaker 1: to just like text with like really creepy sound design
Speaker 1: in the middle of these like brief glimpses of horrifying images.
Speaker 1: Is there's a neutral mask, which I'm always a sucker
Speaker 1: for some newte mask, and uh, there's just horrifying things
Speaker 1: happening in all corners of the universe of this movie.
Speaker 3: And it's it's also it's I'm not a fan of
Speaker 3: trailers because I find that they tend to give too
Speaker 3: much away, just the cycle that they have to keep.
Speaker 3: You know, you get a teaser and then you get
Speaker 3: like five fucking four minute trailers after that, and it
Speaker 3: kind of like ruins the movie.
Speaker 4: But this, this is a trailer.
Speaker 3: I would recommend people watch because it doesn't really it
Speaker 3: gives you just enough to be intrigued because I'm like,
Speaker 3: I have no idea what this is about, but the
Speaker 3: vibes are palpable and I want to I want to
Speaker 3: see what happens next.
Speaker 4: So that is that is an effective trailer to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this one Twitter person who got to see it
Speaker 1: said absolutely rancid, cursed vibes that had me scared to
Speaker 1: enter my dark hotel room. They also said it's a
Speaker 1: contemporary silence of the Lambs, So.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I saw some FBI jackets in the trailer
Speaker 3: and I was like, yeah, I wonder what that's about.
Speaker 1: With like some like FBI looking at a corkboard with
Speaker 1: like a bunch of imagery up that looks like zodiac symbols. Anyways,
Speaker 1: the other one is the Watchers from m Night Shamland's Daughter,
Speaker 1: And this one is, as you termed it, a human menagerie.
Speaker 3: I'm a sucker for a human menagerie. Stick some people
Speaker 3: in a fucking weird box where they don't know where
Speaker 3: they are.
Speaker 2: A person zoo.
Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, I love the Human Zoo movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are your top like, old boy, I'm assuming.
Speaker 3: I just I just love It's to be frank, there's
Speaker 3: not that many movies that are like that. I just
Speaker 3: love that as a concept of of being transit. It
Speaker 3: was I think, I know, I'm more familiar with it
Speaker 3: from like old sci fi like short stories or like
Speaker 3: like weird things where it's like or like you know,
Speaker 3: there's a few Twilight Zone episodes. There's one I can't
Speaker 3: remember the name, but there's this couple who are in
Speaker 3: this deserted town and they can't get out of this town,
Speaker 3: and they keep they get on a train and the
Speaker 3: train just takes them in a loop and all this stuff,
Speaker 3: and at the end you find out that they are in, uh,
Speaker 3: you know, basically a play set for some large alien
Speaker 3: creature or something and they're just sort of stuck there
Speaker 3: as playthings. And I just I just find that concept
Speaker 3: equal parts amusing and it can't be horrifying, but usually
Speaker 3: I find it amusing. Yeah, it's just it's just a fun,
Speaker 3: fun concept that you don't really see.
Speaker 4: Much of these days.
Speaker 3: And that's exactly the kind of thing I expect from
Speaker 3: an m Night production because he loves him some Twilight
Speaker 3: Zone concept.
Speaker 2: I mean, the village is kind of human menagerie, like nobody's.
Speaker 1: Really observing, but it, like spoiler alert, the Village like
Speaker 1: kind of has that sort of like we've captured these
Speaker 1: people and put them there. Also that don't worry Darling
Speaker 1: movie has some of that going on, and again spoiler
Speaker 1: never saw it, but yeah, sixty eight and sixty nine
Speaker 1: big for this. The end of two thousand and one
Speaker 1: Space Odyssey and Slaughterhouse five has like passages where they
Speaker 1: kind of play with that idea.
Speaker 3: Yeah, two thousand and one, I can definitely. I never
Speaker 3: thought of it that way, but yeah, it's definitely that
Speaker 3: ending is he's he's kind of being kept.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which is going to follow our Sirens song
Speaker 1: and We're just gonna let you die in a weird
Speaker 1: hotel hell room from the year two thousand and nine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. But yeah, like the trailer this
Speaker 3: trailer had. I saw the trailer in the theater this
Speaker 3: past weekend. I was seeing The Fall Guy, which was
Speaker 3: not great, but this trailer stuck with me because I
Speaker 3: had really good sound design, like sort of creature type sounds.
Speaker 2: And both of them have good sound design for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it just it's stuck with me, and I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm definitely gonna check this out when when it drops.
Speaker 1: Sup Producer Justin saw the Long Legs trailer in the
Speaker 1: theater and he was shaken. So a couple interesting horrors
Speaker 1: we are O for one in our look at this
Speaker 1: horror movie trailer. I bet the movie is good. We
Speaker 1: did that with Backwater, I think is what it was called.
Speaker 1: It was like a it was a like desert horror,
Speaker 1: cosmic horror thing.
Speaker 4: And low budget found footage type movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it had its moments, but it did not
Speaker 1: pay off in the end and.
Speaker 3: Made me think of that movie Back Country where it's
Speaker 3: a horror movie, except it's like a slasher movie, but
Speaker 3: the slasher is a bear.
Speaker 2: That's fun. Yeah, like Country bear.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it was great.
Speaker 3: You kind of got to see an abusive partner get
Speaker 3: torn apart by a bear, so that's hell.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: All right, Well those are some of the things that
Speaker 1: are trending on this Wednesday, May fifteenth. We are back
Speaker 1: tomorrow with a who last episode of the show. Until then,
Speaker 1: be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get
Speaker 1: the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we
Speaker 1: will talk to you all tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Bite Bite,