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Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the

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Speaker 1: Jack Off trend Motion. Uh, or we would have also accepted,

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Speaker 1: Uh jack Off, No, that was that's it.

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Speaker 2: That one's courtesy of mine.

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Speaker 1: I thought he'd give me three options, but he just

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Speaker 1: wrote the same one over and over again. Uh.

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Speaker 2: That one's courtesy of on the discord.

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Speaker 1: My name is Jack and I'm thrilled to be joined

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Speaker 1: by super producer Brian the Editor.

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Speaker 3: Well that was that was long. That was a long yell. Yes,

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Speaker 3: it's me Brian the Editor. I'm here because Miles is not.

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Speaker 2: In my mic. Sounds nice.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show. It's great to have you

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Speaker 1: as always. Thank you, Thank you Maniche for the short

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Speaker 1: show title. Sorry to have butchered it.

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Speaker 2: Let's see.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Miles is out on assignment. Uh, and we are

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Speaker 1: here checking out the trends. And what a batch of

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Speaker 1: trends we have for the listeners today. Brian, we got

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Speaker 1: King Charles's first official portrait since the coronation. We've all

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Speaker 1: been waiting on the edge of our seats.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 2: What what's the first official portrait going to be?

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Speaker 3: Like? It's going to give heavy ghostbusters two vibes, which

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Speaker 3: I was not expecting.

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Speaker 1: I wonder was this like a big event Back in

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Speaker 1: the day, they were like, all when somebody was coronated,

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Speaker 1: they were like, oh man, you see the new coronation

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Speaker 1: portrait just dropped.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it had to be like a big deal back

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Speaker 3: then when you know, there was no like TV or

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Speaker 3: TikTok or yeah that stuff. But yeah, so the painting

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Speaker 3: is bathed swapped in.

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Speaker 1: Right, cut that so it's either extremely pink or extremely red,

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Speaker 1: and we honestly couldn't determine which, like you to producer,

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Speaker 1: justin both thought it was bathed in red, which would

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Speaker 1: be very sinister, right for a you know, the head

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Speaker 1: of an empire that has been built on bones and blood,

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Speaker 1: and also funny for somebody who was you know, flirtatiously

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Speaker 1: telling his mistress that he wanted to be your tampon.

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Speaker 2: But I see pink for some reason.

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Speaker 3: I mean it is a lighter shade of like okay,

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Speaker 3: like if I'm not saying the painting was actually painted

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Speaker 3: in blood, because obviously it would have like a much

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Speaker 3: you know, in blood dries, it has a much darker hue.

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Speaker 3: It's more brown. Yeah, right, I'm thinking like this is

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Speaker 3: this is like Evan D's horror movie Blood.

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Speaker 1: Yes, seventies, like The Wild Bunch Blow or like the

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Speaker 1: Day of.

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Speaker 3: Day of the Dead or Donna the Dead where it's

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Speaker 3: like the blood is just a little too vibrant.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, of a hue and.

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Speaker 2: Which I thought I thought of that. Yeah, it's like.

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Speaker 3: For the ooze from Ghostbusters because but it has this irridescent.

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Speaker 4: Quality to it. Yeah, that is very.

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Speaker 3: Look, there's no way to look at this painting without

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Speaker 3: thinking of Vigo the Carpathian.

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Speaker 4: It's impossible.

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Speaker 3: If you've seen that movie and you look at this painting,

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Speaker 3: You're you're gonna get chills. The eyes are going to

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Speaker 3: follow you around the room. Right, It's it's a choice, man,

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Speaker 3: I don't know what the.

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Speaker 4: Fuck this is.

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Speaker 2: It is definitely a choice.

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Speaker 1: I do wonder like what if the artist Jonathan Yo

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Speaker 1: like comes out and is like, so, I'm a big

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Speaker 1: GB two fan. I've just always loved that. I thought

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Speaker 1: this guy gives off goes usters too. I doubt that's

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Speaker 1: where it's coming from, but yes, that is the sinister

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Speaker 1: connotation that you could you can detect if if even

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Speaker 1: if you think of it as pink. But it's interesting,

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Speaker 1: like even the media accounts of the painting are like

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Speaker 1: some headlines are like pretty and pink, and others are

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Speaker 1: like it is like, you know, covered in blood, red

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Speaker 1: and I don't know, it's like the new dress, you know,

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Speaker 1: like different different colors. Yeah, but anyways, zeigang sound off

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Speaker 1: of the comments what are you see in here? You

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Speaker 1: see him pink, you see in red, but even you

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Speaker 1: are saying it's giving you light red, which I have

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Speaker 1: frequently referred to as a pink.

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Speaker 3: Okay, look smart guy, there's you know, let's move on.

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Speaker 1: It does totally change the meaning of the painting because,

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Speaker 1: like if you ever read the letters that he has

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Speaker 1: written two people, he thinks of himself as like I'm

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Speaker 1: like the eco monarch and like I'm all about gardens

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Speaker 1: and beauty and nature.

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Speaker 4: He's had a little butterfly on his shoulder.

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Speaker 2: He does a little butterfly on his shoulder, which.

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Speaker 3: Is kind of hard to really parse that because of

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Speaker 3: all the blood, But.

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Speaker 4: There is a monarch butterfly on his shoulder.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: His big sausage fingers are front and center, like because

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Speaker 1: everything is red or pink except for his head and

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Speaker 1: his fingies, and his fingies are plump. They did not

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Speaker 1: hide that. I mean, they probably slimmed them down quite

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Speaker 1: a bit, but they still, you know, are notably pretty

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Speaker 1: pretty sausage. They're giving a full serving of sausage.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they really captured his his dead eyes and his

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Speaker 3: palette complexion perfectly.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, who gives a shit? I don't, but people are

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Speaker 1: talking about it, and that's what this show is about.

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Speaker 2: I just keep following me, man, they just keep following me.

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Speaker 1: The eyes, well, they're bait. They're like deep set inside

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Speaker 1: his head. Maybe they made it like right on the

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Speaker 1: edge of red and like sinister on purpose. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it'll be interesting.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 1: TikTok users are dipping their testicles in soy sauce to

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Speaker 1: taste it. So that's what's going on on TikTok.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 1: There there are apparently taste receptors in the testicles, but Brian,

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Speaker 1: wouldn't you know it? And now I look like a

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Speaker 1: full There aren't taste buds, so I you know here,

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Speaker 1: I am h like I think we all have been

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Speaker 1: doing this for for a long time, taste testing our

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Speaker 1: food with our testicles. Uh and lo and behold, it

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Speaker 1: turns out no taste buds, just taste receptors.

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Speaker 5: I've heard I've heard this before in regards to eat

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Speaker 5: where if you like, rub garlic on your foot, like

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Speaker 5: an hour later, it'll like it'll like somehow go into

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Speaker 5: your bloodstream and then you'll.

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Speaker 3: Be able to taste it in your mouth. And I'm

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Speaker 3: just like, why, garlic is amazing. It's an amazing whatever

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Speaker 3: kind of vegetable or fruit it is. Uh yeah, and

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Speaker 3: why would you waste it rubbing on your foot or

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Speaker 3: your testicles. Don't rub garlic on your testicles, everybody.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you do anything spicy? I would not

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Speaker 2: rubbing your testicles.

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Speaker 1: This is like what is compelling slash confusing about social

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Speaker 1: media is that like things get flattened out, so your

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Speaker 1: news is right next to a what seems like a

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Speaker 1: trick that people are playing on their little brother liked

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Speaker 1: it online.

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Speaker 4: A lot of what TikTok seems to be or like weird,

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Speaker 4: like household hecks that require you.

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Speaker 3: To have like a whole machine shop and all this

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Speaker 3: Google stuff and it serves no purpose and it's weird

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Speaker 3: and off put.

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Speaker 1: In just the kitchen hacks where it's the person making

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Speaker 1: spaghetti and meatballs on a countertop and it's like Oh no,

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Speaker 1: you're just like being mean to gullible people.

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Speaker 3: Are You're just dumping a bunch of shit into a

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Speaker 3: sheet pan and putting it in the oven.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, what, no, like this is? This is clearly

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Speaker 4: a prank. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And as has been canonically established by Marcel Argueyo

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Speaker 1: on this show, if anyone was going to know whether

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Speaker 1: your balls could taste and sense anything, it would be

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Speaker 1: old smelly balls, O'Brien. And I'm not getting anything. Maybe

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Speaker 1: I'm just super used to the whatever is happening down there,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, no, I think the lights are off down

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Speaker 1: there in terms of taste buds.

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Speaker 4: Oh okay, people, please stop trying things you see on TikTok.

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Speaker 4: Yeah right, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, let's take a quick break and then we're gonna

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Speaker 1: come back and talk about why the news cycle is broken.

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Speaker 2: We'll be right back, and we're back now.

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Speaker 1: He's the host of the show.

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Speaker 2: Fuck, all right, take it away?

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Speaker 4: Uh what do we get? What we get?

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Speaker 2: What else? What else?

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Speaker 4: All right?

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Speaker 2: Do my job? What else? What else?

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you you don't want you don't want

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Speaker 3: Jack's job. He has to like pay attention and know

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Speaker 3: what's happening next and stuff.

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Speaker 2: And then say what else? What else?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard all right?

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Speaker 1: So Chuck E Cheese's animatronic band, This is a little

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Speaker 1: quiz for GDZ listeners. I'm gonna start the story. You

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Speaker 1: tell me if you notice anything. Chuck E Cheese's animatronic

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Speaker 1: band is dead. There are a lot of headlines this

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Speaker 1: week about how Chuck E Cheese is acting it's animatronic band,

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Speaker 1: including a write up in Billboard in the music news

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Speaker 1: category as if this is like a real group that's

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Speaker 1: being youzed like putting.

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Speaker 4: Get This isn't the banana splits, like come on?

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Speaker 1: It's all stems from a New York Times report that

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Speaker 1: outlines how Chuck E Cheese is getting rid of munches

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Speaker 1: make Believe banned at all but two of their four

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Speaker 1: hundred US locations. Instead, they're going to focus on more screens,

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Speaker 1: digital dance floors and trampoline gym's digital dance floors. Isn't

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Speaker 1: that just like the dance dance revolution games like.

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Speaker 3: The still four hundred Chuck E Cheeses in the United States.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the thing that this is like a

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Speaker 1: thing that you you see the world again with new

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Speaker 1: eyes when you become a parent and in some cases

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Speaker 1: that is a good thing, and you're like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: I see like the wonder of nature. I'm like seeing

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Speaker 1: everything again like through their eyes. And the other thing

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Speaker 1: you realize is that Chuck E Cheese is thriving.

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Speaker 4: Private equity would have.

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Speaker 2: Would have come through fucked them up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it just seems like one of those legacy kind of.

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Speaker 1: Brands that So what happened with Chuck E Cheese is

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Speaker 1: as arcades were dying everywhere, Chuck E Cheese was still

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Speaker 1: left over and had some arcade games and just like

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Speaker 1: slowly expanded out until now they are just like basically

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Speaker 1: the most common arcade.

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Speaker 3: It's them and Dave and Busters. Yeah, the upscale discerning manchild.

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Speaker 1: Yes exactly, So no more ballpits. It's all just a

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Speaker 1: video game arcade essentially, with like the rotting husks of

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Speaker 1: the munch As Make Believe band up there in like

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Speaker 1: most locations, the animatronic band is still up there. I

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Speaker 1: have had some of our kids birthday parties at a

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Speaker 1: Chuck E Cheese at one of them, at least, I

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Speaker 1: think they tried to like make the band like still

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Speaker 1: happen and be like all right, everybody, get your hands together,

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Speaker 1: like get excited because it's about to go down holy shit,

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Speaker 1: like hype manning up this animatronic band and then it's

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Speaker 1: just like it's just three animatronics. Yeah yeah, just like

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Speaker 1: dying a slow death like up up on stage anyways. Uh. Now,

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Speaker 1: no more bands, just screens, digital dance floors, trampoline gyms,

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Speaker 1: which presumably it's just easier to clean puke off of

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Speaker 1: those things than a forty year old rat robot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, or a ballpit, like how you I've never understood

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Speaker 3: how you clean cuke out of a ball pit.

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Speaker 1: They didn't either, That's why they're no more ballpit those

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Speaker 1: are gone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was they were like, we get these the.

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Speaker 1: Fuck out of here. However, so this is where it

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Speaker 1: gets a little weird. We've like covered this story every

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Speaker 1: two years, like since the show has been in existence.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm, that's true.

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Speaker 1: Like last fall we got this exact same story, only

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Speaker 1: then the band was only only being left in one location.

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Speaker 1: And then back in twenty seventeen when the show first started,

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Speaker 1: it was reported that Chuck E. Cheese was ditching the band,

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Speaker 1: Like it's.

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Speaker 3: Just maybe they get a bump every time, must say

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Speaker 3: a bump, like getting rid of the band, people pull

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Speaker 3: up to pay respects and they get a little more life.

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Speaker 3: And I know it worked for Jamie Loftus, right, wasn't

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Speaker 3: kind of like she's like.

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Speaker 1: Wait what she so she had Jamie has been trying

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Speaker 1: to manage the band for a long time and it

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Speaker 1: hasn't quite worked out, unfortunately.

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Speaker 2: But it's just like.

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Speaker 1: I've always suspected that like part of the news cycle

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Speaker 1: is like fueled by marketing companies just being like this

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Speaker 1: this will I'm sorry, actually will actually be good for

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Speaker 1: your bottom line. And yeah, they're just like, hey, we're

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Speaker 1: going to we're going to reissue the they're killing the

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Speaker 1: band thing, Like no downside for them on the one

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Speaker 1: and they get to be like, now we're doubling down

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Speaker 1: on these fun things and like getting rid of this

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Speaker 1: thing you're nostalgic for, so hurry up and like come

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Speaker 1: out and see it.

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Speaker 2: Before it goes away.

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Speaker 1: Or maybe they just like keep tearfully changing their minds

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Speaker 1: at the last minute because they really do believe it's

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Speaker 1: a real band. It's hard to tell what's happening here.

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Speaker 1: Whichever it is, we're suckers because we just keep covering it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's woefully effective drag.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is no other way to describe it is

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Speaker 3: woefully effective.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, and then we wanted to talk about

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Speaker 1: there's some good horror coming our way, maybe just a

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Speaker 1: couple of trailers then from horror nepo Babies that I'm

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Speaker 1: always the first to you know, admit, sometimes nepotism works,

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Speaker 1: and there's just I don't know. These two trailers, one

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Speaker 1: from M Night Shyamalan's Daughter is Ishana and another from

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Speaker 1: u Osgod Perkins Anthony Perkins's son. So Anthony Perkins of

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Speaker 1: Psycho fame, his son has like a you know, this

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Speaker 1: is not his first film, and you've seen you've seen

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Speaker 1: some of his past films.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, The black Coat's Daughter was like a sort

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Speaker 3: of gothic horror slow burn kind of kind of film

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Speaker 3: he did a few years ago. He's got a few

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Speaker 3: films under his belt and they've been received well.

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Speaker 4: And he's got it like, he's got a style. He's

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Speaker 4: got a style.

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Speaker 3: He seems like he's a talented writer and director. And yeah,

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Speaker 3: this trailer.

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Speaker 2: Was this trailer.

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Speaker 1: His film is called Long Legs, and yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: suggest people go check it out. It's I don't know

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Speaker 1: there's just there's some good writing, like it keeps cutting

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Speaker 1: to just like text with like really creepy sound design

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Speaker 1: in the middle of these like brief glimpses of horrifying images.

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Speaker 1: Is there's a neutral mask, which I'm always a sucker

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Speaker 1: for some newte mask, and uh, there's just horrifying things

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Speaker 1: happening in all corners of the universe of this movie.

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Speaker 3: And it's it's also it's I'm not a fan of

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Speaker 3: trailers because I find that they tend to give too

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Speaker 3: much away, just the cycle that they have to keep.

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Speaker 3: You know, you get a teaser and then you get

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Speaker 3: like five fucking four minute trailers after that, and it

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Speaker 3: kind of like ruins the movie.

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Speaker 4: But this, this is a trailer.

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Speaker 3: I would recommend people watch because it doesn't really it

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Speaker 3: gives you just enough to be intrigued because I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I have no idea what this is about, but the

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Speaker 3: vibes are palpable and I want to I want to

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Speaker 3: see what happens next.

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Speaker 4: So that is that is an effective trailer to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this one Twitter person who got to see it

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Speaker 1: said absolutely rancid, cursed vibes that had me scared to

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Speaker 1: enter my dark hotel room. They also said it's a

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Speaker 1: contemporary silence of the Lambs, So.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I saw some FBI jackets in the trailer

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Speaker 3: and I was like, yeah, I wonder what that's about.

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Speaker 1: With like some like FBI looking at a corkboard with

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Speaker 1: like a bunch of imagery up that looks like zodiac symbols. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: the other one is the Watchers from m Night Shamland's Daughter,

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Speaker 1: And this one is, as you termed it, a human menagerie.

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Speaker 3: I'm a sucker for a human menagerie. Stick some people

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Speaker 3: in a fucking weird box where they don't know where

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Speaker 3: they are.

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Speaker 2: A person zoo.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, dude, I love the Human Zoo movie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what are your top like, old boy, I'm assuming.

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Speaker 3: I just I just love It's to be frank, there's

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Speaker 3: not that many movies that are like that. I just

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Speaker 3: love that as a concept of of being transit. It

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Speaker 3: was I think, I know, I'm more familiar with it

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Speaker 3: from like old sci fi like short stories or like

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Speaker 3: like weird things where it's like or like you know,

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Speaker 3: there's a few Twilight Zone episodes. There's one I can't

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Speaker 3: remember the name, but there's this couple who are in

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Speaker 3: this deserted town and they can't get out of this town,

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Speaker 3: and they keep they get on a train and the

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Speaker 3: train just takes them in a loop and all this stuff,

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Speaker 3: and at the end you find out that they are in, uh,

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Speaker 3: you know, basically a play set for some large alien

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Speaker 3: creature or something and they're just sort of stuck there

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Speaker 3: as playthings. And I just I just find that concept

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Speaker 3: equal parts amusing and it can't be horrifying, but usually

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Speaker 3: I find it amusing. Yeah, it's just it's just a fun,

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Speaker 3: fun concept that you don't really see.

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Speaker 4: Much of these days.

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Speaker 3: And that's exactly the kind of thing I expect from

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Speaker 3: an m Night production because he loves him some Twilight

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Speaker 3: Zone concept.

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Speaker 2: I mean, the village is kind of human menagerie, like nobody's.

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Speaker 1: Really observing, but it, like spoiler alert, the Village like

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Speaker 1: kind of has that sort of like we've captured these

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Speaker 1: people and put them there. Also that don't worry Darling

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Speaker 1: movie has some of that going on, and again spoiler

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Speaker 1: never saw it, but yeah, sixty eight and sixty nine

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Speaker 1: big for this. The end of two thousand and one

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Speaker 1: Space Odyssey and Slaughterhouse five has like passages where they

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Speaker 1: kind of play with that idea.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, two thousand and one, I can definitely. I never

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Speaker 3: thought of it that way, but yeah, it's definitely that

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Speaker 3: ending is he's he's kind of being kept.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which is going to follow our Sirens song

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Speaker 1: and We're just gonna let you die in a weird

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Speaker 1: hotel hell room from the year two thousand and nine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. But yeah, like the trailer this

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Speaker 3: trailer had. I saw the trailer in the theater this

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Speaker 3: past weekend. I was seeing The Fall Guy, which was

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Speaker 3: not great, but this trailer stuck with me because I

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Speaker 3: had really good sound design, like sort of creature type sounds.

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Speaker 2: And both of them have good sound design for sure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it just it's stuck with me, and I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm definitely gonna check this out when when it drops.

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Speaker 1: Sup Producer Justin saw the Long Legs trailer in the

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Speaker 1: theater and he was shaken. So a couple interesting horrors

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Speaker 1: we are O for one in our look at this

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Speaker 1: horror movie trailer. I bet the movie is good. We

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Speaker 1: did that with Backwater, I think is what it was called.

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Speaker 1: It was like a it was a like desert horror,

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Speaker 1: cosmic horror thing.

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Speaker 4: And low budget found footage type movie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it had its moments, but it did not

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Speaker 1: pay off in the end and.

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Speaker 3: Made me think of that movie Back Country where it's

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Speaker 3: a horror movie, except it's like a slasher movie, but

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Speaker 3: the slasher is a bear.

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Speaker 2: That's fun. Yeah, like Country bear.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it was great.

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Speaker 3: You kind of got to see an abusive partner get

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Speaker 3: torn apart by a bear, so that's hell.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: All right, Well those are some of the things that

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Speaker 1: are trending on this Wednesday, May fifteenth. We are back

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Speaker 1: tomorrow with a who last episode of the show. Until then,

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Speaker 1: be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get

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Speaker 1: the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we

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Speaker 1: will talk to you all tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Bite Bite,