Speaker 1: Hi everybody, and welcome to Katie's Crib. I'm Katie Lowe's
Speaker 1: and the title of this podcast says it all. We're
Speaker 1: going to talk about raising a baby who's in his
Speaker 1: crib right here, direct from my crib. So our goal
Speaker 1: here is to create a safe and honest, sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: super messy place where you can talk about being a
Speaker 1: new parent. This is not a how to guide. We're
Speaker 1: not here to offer exact, clear cut solutions of how
Speaker 1: things should be done. This is an open forum of
Speaker 1: opinions that are all valid. We're here to talk it out,
Speaker 1: share experiences, and figure it out together. So on this episode,
Speaker 1: we're talking about breastfeeding. This is a huge and massive
Speaker 1: and triggering topic that we could spend forever talking about.
Speaker 1: In fact, there's so much to talk about that we're
Speaker 1: actually going to split this episode into two parts because,
Speaker 1: like I said, it's just a lot. But here in
Speaker 1: part one, we're going to start at the beginning. We're
Speaker 1: going to talk about making the decision to breastfeed or
Speaker 1: not to breastfeed, and some of the early issues we
Speaker 1: encountered along the way. First up is my girl Kristin Bell,
Speaker 1: who you may know from the Good Place and Veronica
Speaker 1: Mars and bad Moms and what else? What else? What else?
Speaker 1: I mean, there's just so many amazing things. Hello, Frozen, Um,
Speaker 1: she's here. She's going to share her breastfeeding experiences. And
Speaker 1: then after Kristen, we're going to talk to my dear
Speaker 1: friend Jamie Greenberg. She's a celebrity makeup artist and does
Speaker 1: my makeup on all my red carpet events, and she's
Speaker 1: going to talk about her journey with three kids and
Speaker 1: her choice not to breastfeed. Oh and f y, I guys,
Speaker 1: about halfway through our chat with Kristen Bell, the lawnmower
Speaker 1: is super loud, so just enjoy pat would you again?
Speaker 1: Welcome to my world Katie's Crib. We got lawnmowers, dogs, barking,
Speaker 1: babies crying. It's all happening here. Hi, Christens, thank you
Speaker 1: very much for being on Katie's rib, which is what
Speaker 1: we're calling it. I love that because I have a
Speaker 1: baby in a crib currently and we are taping these
Speaker 1: podcasts in my crib. Um. So Kristen Bell, you guys,
Speaker 1: is here because she was very helpful to me in
Speaker 1: a time when I was very new to breastfeeding, which
Speaker 1: is a very hot topic, very triggering, very I would
Speaker 1: say it's the hardest job I've ever had in my
Speaker 1: entire life, other than trying to be a professional actress.
Speaker 1: Um So, Kristen Uh we met when I was had
Speaker 1: a five week old and breasting was very new, and
Speaker 1: it was so hard I lost a nipple in the process,
Speaker 1: I had a cracked boob, which we will hear more
Speaker 1: about how that all went down with the breast specialist
Speaker 1: that's going to be coming on named Linda Hannah. But
Speaker 1: Kristen tell us about was breastfeeding an obvious choice for you?
Speaker 1: Was it something that you knew you wanted to do? Um? Yes,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I didn't feel like I really thought
Speaker 1: much about it. It felt uh, it just felt like
Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't. I didn't give it much weight,
Speaker 1: so I just transition to it into it organically, though
Speaker 1: I did UM. After I was breastfeeding, spend a lot
Speaker 1: of time thinking about the struggles women go through when
Speaker 1: they can't breastfeed for any reason, and realizing how much
Speaker 1: I had wrapped up in it personally and thinking, Wow,
Speaker 1: what would I have thought about if I had to
Speaker 1: do formula? If that was my only option. And this
Speaker 1: is the conclusion I've come to about breastfeeding. It is
Speaker 1: it really, really is one of the hardest things for
Speaker 1: women because you take it personally when you can't do it,
Speaker 1: and it's very, very hard. And I say that having
Speaker 1: had very few problems breastfeeding, but it is so important
Speaker 1: to women to be able to do it because you
Speaker 1: want to satisfy your baby. But the conclusion I've come
Speaker 1: to is if you my sister did not want to
Speaker 1: do it. She just didn't want to. She didn't feel
Speaker 1: like having barnacles on her boobs all day. She had
Speaker 1: four kids, so she bound her boobs four kids, and
Speaker 1: she had four kids. She bound her boobs after everyone
Speaker 1: she said, I don't want to do it. And I thought,
Speaker 1: by the way, that's how you stop Yeah, that's how
Speaker 1: you stop it. You just don't let it come in.
Speaker 1: And I was like, my sister, by the way, is
Speaker 1: ten times the mother I am. So there's nothing like
Speaker 1: I guess my like my main motto about breastfeeding is like,
Speaker 1: there is nothing wrong with if you can't do it,
Speaker 1: or you have to supplement Look, I was supplemented with formula.
Speaker 1: I'm perfectly healthy. Everyone was it's all fine. It's all
Speaker 1: fine because there but there are. I was so interested
Speaker 1: in the topic UM that I just you know, read
Speaker 1: and read and learned all these crazy things. I also pregnant,
Speaker 1: um no while I was breastfeeding, but I also had UM.
Speaker 1: You know there are. You starting breastfeeding, I think is
Speaker 1: the hardest because you're dealing with cracked nipples, you're dealing
Speaker 1: with the baby latch, you're dealing with inversion, inverted nipples,
Speaker 1: all these things I had. Yeah, it is, and I
Speaker 1: had a lot of friends that had them. But um,
Speaker 1: halfway down the road, when you're knee deep into breastfeeding,
Speaker 1: the mastitis, talk to me about mass Titis is a
Speaker 1: an infection. It's a blocked milk duct. And when you
Speaker 1: so so look, if your milk doesn't come in, you
Speaker 1: might feel like you suck and you have to go
Speaker 1: to formula. Don't beat yourself up. If your milk does
Speaker 1: come in and you have too much milk like I did,
Speaker 1: your ducks can get blocked very easily and you still
Speaker 1: feel like you suck. Because what can happen with mastitis
Speaker 1: is it gets blocked, it starts to get sore. If
Speaker 1: you are not so on top of that, you have
Speaker 1: to stand under the shower, you have to put heat
Speaker 1: packs on it, you have to open that duct up
Speaker 1: or get that baby to sun painful. It's pretty painful
Speaker 1: in the beginning when it's forming. If it goes to
Speaker 1: the second stage and the baby doesn't suck it out,
Speaker 1: it can get infected the third stage after if it
Speaker 1: gets infected, it can go to your blood and it's
Speaker 1: like literally hospital you you could die. So you have
Speaker 1: to be very serious about messitis. It's dead serious. I
Speaker 1: had mess sides three times. Um. I took antibiotics twice,
Speaker 1: and that's another thing. Women. Look, I don't love taking antibiotics.
Speaker 1: I know, I know about superbugs. I watched sixty minutes
Speaker 1: and like, don't want to take antibiotics, willy nilly. But
Speaker 1: I also don't want to die in the hospital because
Speaker 1: of breastfeeding. So both times I trust my obie. I
Speaker 1: took antibiotics. The third time it was probably had been
Speaker 1: breastfeeding for I don't know a while. It was on
Speaker 1: my second child, and I knew it was coming. I
Speaker 1: could feel it coming. You can feel it internally or
Speaker 1: you feel like a lump or something. You feel a soreness,
Speaker 1: feels like a bruise inside your boob, and then you
Speaker 1: should be able to feel a little lump. It will
Speaker 1: feel very sore. At that point, you need to start
Speaker 1: doing like those hot pocket things that you know use
Speaker 1: when you're skiing. Put those on in your bra stand
Speaker 1: under the shower, massage it out. Get that baby to
Speaker 1: suck as much as possible. So, I like, breastfeeding is
Speaker 1: so crazy because your baby is so needed to do
Speaker 1: half the job. Yeah. Yeah, and nobody blames the baby, Like, wait,
Speaker 1: it's all my fall because we're not breastfeeding correctly. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're not breastfeeding correctly. Maybe you need to latch better,
Speaker 1: like you don't want to blame the baby, but like
Speaker 1: takes two to tango. But the third time I had mastitis,
Speaker 1: I knew it was coming. I had been there, done that.
Speaker 1: You'll so you'll feel a bruise, you will feel if
Speaker 1: it gets if the infection is there, you will start
Speaker 1: to get very very cold, and I mean a level
Speaker 1: of cold that you have never felt before. And it
Speaker 1: will be because you have a fever and your fever
Speaker 1: is trying to kill the bacteria. I was the first
Speaker 1: time I had at my my first daughter Lincoln was
Speaker 1: six weeks I. We were at a hotel with our
Speaker 1: parents because we were like, let's do a little like
Speaker 1: um yeah, like baby getaway. Parents will meet the baby
Speaker 1: at six weeks whatever. So I'm in bed and I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: I am freezing. I had a pair of gloves on,
Speaker 1: I had two sweaters, Dax's jacket, like three pairs of socks,
Speaker 1: two pairs of sweatpants. I was also under the comforter
Speaker 1: and I had like a warm winter hat on. And
Speaker 1: I was never been colder in my life. And that's
Speaker 1: when I got my first set of antibiotics. Sort of
Speaker 1: same thing the second time. Third time, I knew it
Speaker 1: was coming and I said to my husband and then
Speaker 1: this is a lot of information, but get ready. I
Speaker 1: said to my husband. I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do antibiotics. If we can get this out. The
Speaker 1: baby is not sucking hard enough. I need you to
Speaker 1: be a team player here. And he was like gross, okay,
Speaker 1: and this is why he's husband of the Year. But he,
Speaker 1: I swear to God, he pulled that out. I made him.
Speaker 1: We laid on the bed together, I made him nurse.
Speaker 1: He sits down, nurses and it was a while I mean,
Speaker 1: it was like thirty minutes and he had his jaw
Speaker 1: was sore because he was sucking so hard. Because I
Speaker 1: was like, you gotta suck harder. I was pushing on
Speaker 1: the side of my boob. He was pulling, and he
Speaker 1: this is very gross. He started getting the block out.
Speaker 1: He started getting because because it's it's gooey, it's like
Speaker 1: mucus or something. And then he had to get a
Speaker 1: cop He was like gagging, which I don't blame him
Speaker 1: of the century, he's spitting it into a cup, but
Speaker 1: I'll be damned, he pulled it out. He pulled it out,
Speaker 1: and I didn't have to take any and so you
Speaker 1: never got sick like you the second the third time,
Speaker 1: I never get six No, yeah there, Yeah, it's rough,
Speaker 1: but um, but you know, the the amount of antibiotics
Speaker 1: the baby gets is negligible, so it's it's all okay. Um.
Speaker 1: Did you schedule your breastfeeding? Were you on demand for
Speaker 1: a certain amount of time and then did you move
Speaker 1: to like a schedule. I started on a schedule, so
Speaker 1: I took when I came home from the hospital. I
Speaker 1: also had advice from a baby nurse that I trusted
Speaker 1: very much um. She talked to me a lot about
Speaker 1: the theory of not losing myself within all this, which
Speaker 1: I felt was very important because I am such a
Speaker 1: people pleaser. I'm like, well, great, I'm just going to
Speaker 1: be a people pleaser to this baby and I'll go crazy.
Speaker 1: So she was like, make sure you you sit with
Speaker 1: your husband at night, you have a glass wine, you like,
Speaker 1: connect with him. Make sure your baby needs to eat
Speaker 1: every couple hours, but you'll know so rather than being
Speaker 1: on demand and putting the boob in the mouth every
Speaker 1: time they're fussy, which gets them accustomed to that soothing.
Speaker 1: She's like, it's kind of like us, Like I may
Speaker 1: want to eat potato chips right now, I don't need
Speaker 1: potato chips, And to be honest, I'd love if someone
Speaker 1: said to me, you don't need a potato go take
Speaker 1: a walk around the block, or let's play a game
Speaker 1: or something. So I did schedule and I was very
Speaker 1: happy with it, but some people prefer. Look at a
Speaker 1: lot of people are more on the go and they
Speaker 1: want to I didn't want to be a food truck
Speaker 1: at any time. I just wanted to have more of
Speaker 1: a schedule. But some people don't mind it. And I
Speaker 1: really think it is an individual choice. I do too.
Speaker 1: Um So, how do you feel about breastfeeding in public?
Speaker 1: I have no problem with it? Here's I mean. I
Speaker 1: actually think it's very very funny that people think this
Speaker 1: is such a big deal because there is nothing more
Speaker 1: primitive and beautiful and organic than breastfeeding a baby. And
Speaker 1: if you have a problem seeing the corner of my boob,
Speaker 1: that's not you. Okay, that's not my problem. You can
Speaker 1: turn your head, you know what I mean, like that,
Speaker 1: that's that's not you. You got to take care of that,
Speaker 1: because the sheets and the whole, I mean, I get it.
Speaker 1: If you're modest, I'm not very modest. Like I don't
Speaker 1: I don't care much. I would breastfeed in front of
Speaker 1: anyone because of this. If I'm in a room full
Speaker 1: of people, guess who the most important person in that
Speaker 1: room is my baby if they're hungry, I don't care
Speaker 1: if you see my boob. Like, by the way, my
Speaker 1: boobooks gorgeous because it's beautiful and a little better so,
Speaker 1: by the way, half of it was my ego of
Speaker 1: like see this, I have this for a minute, This
Speaker 1: is mine, this great boob. Second of all, if you
Speaker 1: don't like it, you can turn your head. Don't make
Speaker 1: that my fault. I mean, I'm I'm just coming to
Speaker 1: terms with this, Like I don't know why I have,
Speaker 1: Like I've been doing it in public everywhere. I think
Speaker 1: a big thing about breastfeeding and making it doable is
Speaker 1: that you have to be able to do it anywhere
Speaker 1: at any time, if if you really want to continue
Speaker 1: doing it and make it a part of your life.
Speaker 1: Because let's I'm not going to sit in my house
Speaker 1: for a year breastfeeding my kid. I'm going to be
Speaker 1: out at a restaurant. I'm going to be out in public.
Speaker 1: I have errands to run. And it became such a
Speaker 1: freeing thing to me to know, Hey, guess what, you
Speaker 1: can take your baby to all these things because your
Speaker 1: boobs come with you and you can eat with you.
Speaker 1: So like, just get used to doing it anywhere any
Speaker 1: time that you need to. Well, I look at as
Speaker 1: my superpower. I wish people looked at it like that,
Speaker 1: like when I look at my C section scar or
Speaker 1: like my saggy boobs. Now, I'm like, these are this,
Speaker 1: these are remnants of the fact that this is evidence
Speaker 1: that I am a superhero. I did something extraordinary. I
Speaker 1: birthed two babies, and so when when I would feel
Speaker 1: very confident to breastfeed anywhere, because like that was that
Speaker 1: was very very powerful and cool to me, and my
Speaker 1: baby is the most important thing in the room, and
Speaker 1: no one else really mattered. I love it. How long
Speaker 1: did you breastfeed for? I breastfed for I breast fed
Speaker 1: for like um fifteen months with my first one UM.
Speaker 1: But I pumped a lot, you know, I went back
Speaker 1: to work, and so I would pump four or five
Speaker 1: times during the day and still come home and give
Speaker 1: her the milk. And I had saved up a lot
Speaker 1: of milk. So then she had milk till I was
Speaker 1: like eighteen months. Then I got um pregnant. No, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I breastfed until a year, and then she had milk
Speaker 1: till I was fifteen months. I got pregnant when she
Speaker 1: was a year, and I was still breastfeeding at night,
Speaker 1: and it became very difficult for me to sustain even
Speaker 1: just taking in the calories that that sustained me, my
Speaker 1: daughter and the baby in my belly. So I it
Speaker 1: was a lot. It was like eating for truly for
Speaker 1: three people. So I stopped it is a little bit
Speaker 1: hard to stop breastfeeding because it is slightly painful because
Speaker 1: you will have a letdown, which means this kind of
Speaker 1: feels like your boob is in a microwave, and a
Speaker 1: letdown means the milk is coming in. You can feel it,
Speaker 1: and by the way, it's a really good feeling. It's
Speaker 1: a really really good feeling. But when you have a
Speaker 1: letdown and you're trying to stop breastfeeding, you have to
Speaker 1: ignore that let down and just get to the next one.
Speaker 1: So you basically have to deal with the engorgement um
Speaker 1: and then kind of just start to to wean the
Speaker 1: amount that the baby is pulling out less and less feedings. Yes,
Speaker 1: less and less feedings. You pull them off the boob
Speaker 1: one or two minutes before they're ready. So you said
Speaker 1: you went back to work, Like, how did you manage breastfeeding?
Speaker 1: So you would pump in the day, come home with
Speaker 1: the bottles, freeze some of them, give some Yeah, I mean, I,
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm lucky to have a job where
Speaker 1: I have a voice and a little bit of power.
Speaker 1: So I simply said I have to stop four times
Speaker 1: a day to breastfeeds. So you guys are gonna have
Speaker 1: to figure out what to do for those fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: and that's just going to be what it is. And
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but but again, my baby is more important.
Speaker 1: Now a lot of people are not in that position,
Speaker 1: but in uh, you know, the dawn of a new
Speaker 1: age where this is finally a respected topic, there are
Speaker 1: a lot of nursing rooms being put and I would
Speaker 1: just you're really all, yeah, really are there at like
Speaker 1: airports now they have these little know there's a nursing
Speaker 1: there's like it's it's unbelievable and I never noticed them
Speaker 1: before I was a nurse, same mother obviously, but like
Speaker 1: it's incredible. I'm so I'm relieved. I also, I just
Speaker 1: feel I'm getting more. I'm coming more to terms with
Speaker 1: like being on a plane and just hand pumping in
Speaker 1: front of you. Yeah, by the way, you got you
Speaker 1: got to. And I just would encourage women to like
Speaker 1: feel confident about that. We don't have to feel we
Speaker 1: are no longer in a place where we need to
Speaker 1: feel ashamed or defensive. So it's kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: if you're at a job where you can't necessarily like
Speaker 1: wag your finger in your boss's face and say I'm
Speaker 1: stopping to pump, but if you need to. It's like
Speaker 1: if you your blood sugar was low at work, you
Speaker 1: would say, I'm so sorry, I need to stop for
Speaker 1: a snack. It would you wouldn't feel ashamed to say that.
Speaker 1: You also wouldn't feel defensive, like you better let me
Speaker 1: have a snack. It's the same with breastfeeding. It's just
Speaker 1: a fact that has to happen. So I'm I'm very sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to go breastfeed right now, or I'm
Speaker 1: gonna need to go pump. Um. And I just wish
Speaker 1: it were Yeah, I wish it were like a calmer
Speaker 1: topic that women didn't feel um insecure about, um, you know,
Speaker 1: discussing their needs. If you are uncomfortable with boobs, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, that's not a problem either. Fine, if
Speaker 1: you're uncomfortable, you can turn your head. You can help
Speaker 1: me with this situation, and you can just turn your
Speaker 1: head because it's not on me to conform to whatever
Speaker 1: your taboos about a boo bar. One of the most
Speaker 1: talked about benefits of breastfeeding is a bonding that happens
Speaker 1: with your newborn. Do you, um, do you feel like
Speaker 1: that's true? Yeah? I think I I, although I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's very conscious because my first one, I
Speaker 1: guess I felt more sentimental about the breastfeeding. My second one.
Speaker 1: She was like she was feral when she was born
Speaker 1: and she's still and she was like at six months,
Speaker 1: was like, I'm done, I'm too busy, I only want
Speaker 1: the bottle. I'm not interested in your boob. Sorry, not sorry.
Speaker 1: And I tried not to take it personally, but then
Speaker 1: I realized she's an individual. This is the first decision
Speaker 1: she's made as a strong young woman. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna work around that. I'm not going to feel
Speaker 1: bad of like what am I doing wrong? She just
Speaker 1: doesn't want the boob, That's fine, and so yeah, I
Speaker 1: just sort of let her be who she was, and
Speaker 1: I pumped for the next I don't know, ten months
Speaker 1: or something. But here's what happened to me. Since I
Speaker 1: had a toddler who's two, and I had a baby
Speaker 1: who was six months who wouldn't nurse. It is if
Speaker 1: you're exclusively pumping, it is hard to keep your supply
Speaker 1: up because the baby does give you a level of
Speaker 1: oxytocin that gives you more milk. Yeah, so my toddler
Speaker 1: was still very interested in having milk because she saw
Speaker 1: the baby do it. She knows it's bonding. She loves it.
Speaker 1: She started nursing at night, so when my six month
Speaker 1: old was no longer nursing, my six month old would
Speaker 1: get a bottle at night and my toddler would nurse
Speaker 1: from the boob. And it helped me keep my supply
Speaker 1: up because I had a human being giving me the
Speaker 1: hormones I needed, and my toddler loved it. It was
Speaker 1: like a reinvention of our bonding. You know what's really
Speaker 1: weird about breastfeeding, you guys, It's a lot of its mental,
Speaker 1: which Kristen so lovingly taught me when we were first
Speaker 1: hanging out. Now be five weeks old, but there's so
Speaker 1: much about it that is like if you're pumping and
Speaker 1: you're not, you know, producing a ton of milk, which
Speaker 1: was my problem in the beginning, there's something about going
Speaker 1: to a mental place and like imagining babies crying that
Speaker 1: near you, or meditating and going to a peaceful place
Speaker 1: because stress is actually one of the number one killers
Speaker 1: of milk, Number one. If you're pumping, it's quite literally
Speaker 1: the only time you have to multitask. It's the only
Speaker 1: if you have like a hands see how many emails
Speaker 1: I can send. But if you look down and you're
Speaker 1: only getting an ounce, You've got to close the computer.
Speaker 1: You got to close the phone, close the computer. No,
Speaker 1: it's you've got to close it and really focus on it.
Speaker 1: It's a little event every time that it happens. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was big for me because I used to do
Speaker 1: so many emails while pumping, and you were like, you
Speaker 1: have to just be like in a room by yourself,
Speaker 1: turn the phone off, really like meditating. It's kind of
Speaker 1: a gift to you from the baby. And also like
Speaker 1: the hesitation about it, and I shouldn't do it in
Speaker 1: front of I don't know people or whatever, like and
Speaker 1: if guys are around, Like in my head, I'm just
Speaker 1: like why this is such? This is so asked backwards.
Speaker 1: We have the ability to do something that guys do not.
Speaker 1: We are not the ones that should feel ashamed, you know.
Speaker 1: We're the ones that should feel super confident and like,
Speaker 1: I have this very special ability. I'm going to have
Speaker 1: to do it now. Every time I bring Albie to
Speaker 1: the pediatrician and he's like gained a pound. I've never
Speaker 1: felt more proud of something in my entire affing life,
Speaker 1: Like it's crazy, like I'm just like, holy mackerel, this
Speaker 1: kid is growing and and I feel just grateful that
Speaker 1: I'm able to breastfeed. I know it's not something that
Speaker 1: comes easy or naturally. We'll get into it, but holy
Speaker 1: you guys did not come easy or naturally for me.
Speaker 1: It is a struggle. But and and and really, I
Speaker 1: like my personal opinion is like, hang in there if
Speaker 1: you're having problems hanging there through as long as you
Speaker 1: think you can hang in there. And when if your
Speaker 1: mind and body and heart and soul is telling you
Speaker 1: this is too much for me, I can't do this
Speaker 1: or I've hidden a breaking point than just to formula Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with it. Oh my gosh, I was
Speaker 1: formula fat. I think you said you were too. Another question,
Speaker 1: has did it change at all? And this might be
Speaker 1: two personal, but um, how have you did it change
Speaker 1: as far as like your intimacy with your husband, how
Speaker 1: you felt about your breast like while you were breastfeeding,
Speaker 1: Like because I've just started, like I just got the
Speaker 1: clearance from my doctor that it's all like okay to
Speaker 1: get back into Hay with my husband and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: so that's been happening, super scary. We'll also get to
Speaker 1: that into another episode. But like, I had to wear
Speaker 1: a bra because I'm like, my boobs are like not
Speaker 1: my own anymore, Like they're not They're not how they
Speaker 1: were in my twenties, were like these were just like
Speaker 1: part of the sexual intimate experience. Like now they're just like,
Speaker 1: let's just pretend they're not. They're they're my sons, and
Speaker 1: they're also the feelings in them change so much. So
Speaker 1: sometimes I would love it when he was very into
Speaker 1: my boobs, and other times, like when they were very full,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna have to wear a bra.
Speaker 1: It's not that these are off limits, but they are
Speaker 1: their own creatures. So the four of us are going
Speaker 1: to be having sex right now, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And it just it sort of is what it is,
Speaker 1: and it's all it's all individual. I slept in a bra.
Speaker 1: I slept in a bra for probably two years. I
Speaker 1: slept in everyone. And I was the chick who never
Speaker 1: even wore bra in the day. Yeah, you guys, I
Speaker 1: used to have small boobs. I was like a hippie,
Speaker 1: no bra. So into it. Loved that. Look now it's
Speaker 1: like I've slept in a bra for a year and
Speaker 1: a half. My boobs are ginormous for me, which I
Speaker 1: don't like that. I know. I loved it. I had
Speaker 1: to get into it like you did. I just feel
Speaker 1: like they're just like you. I went from a thirty
Speaker 1: four A to a thirty six double D. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that is real for me. I'm five feet tall, and
Speaker 1: I loved it. I was like, this is so cool
Speaker 1: that I got in my life to have these boobs
Speaker 1: that are up to my chin that I and sometimes
Speaker 1: I would wear like a dress with when they were
Speaker 1: really full, without a bra because they were so taught.
Speaker 1: But you know, one thing we haven't talked about is
Speaker 1: that early on, particularly when you just wake up in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night and you're just sopping wet everywhere,
Speaker 1: just waking up because you're if your boobs want to
Speaker 1: feed or your baby's crying and you don't get there
Speaker 1: quick enough and they release and you just have like
Speaker 1: sprinklers on your chest. It is so weird, so weird,
Speaker 1: like so weird, Like the whole thing is just totally primal.
Speaker 1: I can't even believe our bodies are able to do this.
Speaker 1: I never even It's really just a fascinating, unbelievable I'm
Speaker 1: a little bit worried. I want to I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit worried when I stop. I'm a little bit worried.
Speaker 1: I've heard there's another hormonal shift that can happen when
Speaker 1: you stop breastfeeding. UM. But there's also good things that happen,
Speaker 1: like when you're breastfeeding. My ob told me that you're
Speaker 1: in a sort of pre menopausal state where your libido
Speaker 1: can go down. Your um body has sort of shut
Speaker 1: off in that way, UM, and that that could come back.
Speaker 1: So that's a plus. But she has also learned me
Speaker 1: to the fact that your hormones can drop again, and
Speaker 1: some women get depressed that they won't be connecting if
Speaker 1: they have found a great connection with their kid through breastfeeding,
Speaker 1: that that might be something they miss. I think that's
Speaker 1: all true. I did have a little bit of a
Speaker 1: drop UM, and I think again, it's just it's like
Speaker 1: a normal I'm just looking at the whole thing as
Speaker 1: an And now you have such perspective on it because
Speaker 1: your girls are like, well, you know, I'm so in
Speaker 1: it right now. I just can't see it yet, you know,
Speaker 1: I can't see I do miss it though it was
Speaker 1: my very favorite part. It is my very favorite part.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and I'm and I know how hard it
Speaker 1: is and I know how um unique it is to
Speaker 1: be able to do it without problems. I really do.
Speaker 1: Because I didn't have problems. I mean, getting mess titis
Speaker 1: three times is like, that's true, that's true. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't have crack nipples in the beginning. But let me
Speaker 1: tell you that mass titis is no walk in the park.
Speaker 1: Um But I I felt like it definitely gave me
Speaker 1: more of a high and more of a calmness when
Speaker 1: I was breastfeeding. And when I dropped off, I didn't
Speaker 1: get depressed, which I'm definitely prone to do so I
Speaker 1: thought I would. I just got like two more irritable,
Speaker 1: two percent less patient. And that was like at work,
Speaker 1: you know, when I was likewhere anywhere, when I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: let's get the show on the road, and they'd be like, wow,
Speaker 1: what's her problem, And I'm like, oh, that's that's my
Speaker 1: lack of breastfeeding hormones. That calmed me down. You know,
Speaker 1: I did hear because breast milk is so amazing that
Speaker 1: like I think it's in China and I will have
Speaker 1: to look this up, but I think they like drink
Speaker 1: it and sell it as like a cure all for
Speaker 1: I am not like, I'm so my amazing nanny who
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with, and she's helping me raise my child
Speaker 1: while I work on scandal, which is such a gift.
Speaker 1: She literally takes some bags in my breast milk home
Speaker 1: for her acne and stuff like that. They feel so
Speaker 1: fortunate to be able to give her and make it
Speaker 1: loves I love her even more. I'm like, you can
Speaker 1: have my breast. I put it on pimples and put
Speaker 1: it in my eye. I put it cuts all over
Speaker 1: the baby. I put it all over everything any busy
Speaker 1: near drug and I have been told you guys for
Speaker 1: my trips and things like that. First time I'll be
Speaker 1: ever had a cold, she was like, instead of Saylene
Speaker 1: drops put breastbreast milk always um, he had a clogged
Speaker 1: I ducked. I put breast milk in his eyes. Like
Speaker 1: breast milk really is. There are some properties about it
Speaker 1: that I don't think people can even haven't been understand
Speaker 1: why it's so healing. Might it got to the point
Speaker 1: where like my sister was in the house and she'd
Speaker 1: be chopping a vegetable and cut her finger and I
Speaker 1: would just go come here, and she knew the drill,
Speaker 1: and I would lift my shirt up and I would
Speaker 1: just squeeze milk right onto her directly, and she just
Speaker 1: rub it into her cut and go back to doing
Speaker 1: what she was doing. And it was literally healed forty
Speaker 1: eight hours before it should have been. It was. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: And by the way, my skin was really clear when
Speaker 1: I was pregnant and breastfeeding, and then the minute I stopped.
Speaker 1: That was one thing about the hormones. I went back to, like, oh, pimples,
Speaker 1: I remember you because my hormones when they're at higher levels,
Speaker 1: my skin is just much more clear. Yeah, so the mirror,
Speaker 1: the miracle cures that it is. Breastfeeding is a big thing.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that you were also scorting your
Speaker 1: breast milk all over the world, because that's all I do.
Speaker 1: And the other thing I want to say is, like,
Speaker 1: so the one thing I was concerned about just from
Speaker 1: a vanity perspective, and I it's like embarrassing to even
Speaker 1: admit this, but like the main question I asked to
Speaker 1: their moms is like how much weight did you gain
Speaker 1: and when did you lose it? Because also we're on
Speaker 1: camera for our livings. That kind of is vital. All
Speaker 1: of my friends were like, oh, I don't know what
Speaker 1: was this. It was that I realized I was just
Speaker 1: giving myself a comparison hangover to try to figure out
Speaker 1: what it would be. I gained forty seven pounds for
Speaker 1: each kid, and weirdly, I ate totally differently. I ate
Speaker 1: no sugar, one kid, ate anything I wanted the other.
Speaker 1: My body wanted to gain forty seven pounds. I realized
Speaker 1: that's a lot. I realized, like a doctor would be
Speaker 1: like slow down, but it's what my body wanted. And
Speaker 1: then when I was breastfeeding the two years two and
Speaker 1: a half years, I was breastfeeding like for both kids
Speaker 1: um with a little break in the middle, I kept
Speaker 1: on thirty of those pounds. I did not lose the
Speaker 1: thirty pounds that I to get back to my normal
Speaker 1: weight till about three months after I stopped breastfeeding. And
Speaker 1: that is very normal. Some women say the minute I
Speaker 1: started breastfeeding, because the calories were coming out, I dropped
Speaker 1: all my weight everything is normal. I kept thirty pounds
Speaker 1: and you can see it, like there's pictures of me
Speaker 1: and between you know, the two and a half years
Speaker 1: I was breastfeeding, I'm thirty pounds heavier. I don't. I
Speaker 1: never thought about it. It didn't occur to me. I
Speaker 1: was so much more obsessed with the weight before I
Speaker 1: had the baby that when I couldn't drop it when
Speaker 1: I was breastfeeding, I just couldn't. I was working out,
Speaker 1: I just it could it couldn't be done. It stopped
Speaker 1: mattering to me. And then when I stopped breastfeeding is
Speaker 1: when I lost it. I'm like, there's two types of women.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many more types of women, but
Speaker 1: the ones the friends I have and are breastfeeding. Some
Speaker 1: as soon as they start breastfeeding, because breastfeeding burns a
Speaker 1: lot of calories in a day, and so for some women,
Speaker 1: breastfeeding causes them to lose all the baby weight very quickly.
Speaker 1: And some women, as you say, and I am one
Speaker 1: of these, um, they hold on. They hold on to
Speaker 1: like a good at storage where you're making milk, and
Speaker 1: you just that actually that last ten or fifteen pounds
Speaker 1: is very hard to lose. So I don't know. And
Speaker 1: I've heard once you stop breastfeeding because I'm working out
Speaker 1: too and I'm eating so great and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: But I just have a lovely breastfeeding pad. But I
Speaker 1: do agree with you that I literally don't care. You
Speaker 1: cannot care. I don't know why or what happened since
Speaker 1: becoming a mom, but I just I'm like, whatever, And
Speaker 1: if you care, if you're listening to this and you care,
Speaker 1: that's just no, it's not I can tell you right now,
Speaker 1: be confident you're beautiful. Stop caring. It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: The last thing I'll say is I did. I did
Speaker 1: feel like when I tried to get my weight under
Speaker 1: control while I was breastfeeding and just eat salads and stuff,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have enough milk. I had to have bagels
Speaker 1: and right, breastfeeding needs carbohydrates and it needs and a
Speaker 1: lot of people have noticed that if they do too
Speaker 1: much cardio, their milk supply and I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's me, but I'm definitely using it as excuse to
Speaker 1: not do cardio. So I haven't done cardio at all,
Speaker 1: just because I'm telling myself I'm one of those people
Speaker 1: that when I do cardio produce enough. There's some sort
Speaker 1: of acid that can build up when you do a
Speaker 1: lot of cardio that makes your milk like turn a
Speaker 1: little bit and the baby will reject it. That's what
Speaker 1: my bill told me. Also, later into breastfeeding, I found
Speaker 1: out so yes, so you need carbs. You have to
Speaker 1: have carbs. Don't deny yourself carbs. And by the way,
Speaker 1: if you if you are just eating salads because you're
Speaker 1: worried about your weight and you're also stressing because you're
Speaker 1: not breastfeeding enough and you're not producing enough milk, take
Speaker 1: personal responsibility and just start eating some bagels. Don't be
Speaker 1: confused about both of those, and stay on the diet,
Speaker 1: like or just drink that. I keep going for this
Speaker 1: oatmeal stout beer, yes, which is also a big helper
Speaker 1: and milk supply. I mean I literally I was like,
Speaker 1: don't tell me that this is what's gonna get my
Speaker 1: milk out. And I literally I accidentally ate a handful
Speaker 1: of fenna gric from like the farmer's market because someone
Speaker 1: was like, look at these little um sprouts. They smell
Speaker 1: like maple syrup. And I was like, I'll tay a handful,
Speaker 1: and like two hours later, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: my boods are so much, and I realized it was,
Speaker 1: which is a huge help. And milk supply also, there's
Speaker 1: there's amazing companies and teas out there that have a
Speaker 1: bunch of herbal stuff that you can take for milk
Speaker 1: supply um, and oatmeal, beer and bagelsum, which also helps
Speaker 1: to my extra fifteen pounds in Christen's thirty that is
Speaker 1: now gone. But look at you. Well now I just
Speaker 1: run back, run after the toddlers, and it's like, no
Speaker 1: big deal, right right, But there was oh one thing
Speaker 1: I wanted to say, another weird thing, and you would
Speaker 1: we would have to ask my o bi and maybe
Speaker 1: you can like site whatever this is at the end
Speaker 1: of the podcast. But so when I was doing Bad
Speaker 1: Mom's one, which would mean that my daughter was um
Speaker 1: like nine months. My youngest daughter was nine months, so
Speaker 1: I was already just pumping exclusively, I noticed she was
Speaker 1: rejecting it, and I and and I also noticed it's
Speaker 1: kind of smelled funny, like like it was turned. And
Speaker 1: I called my obie and she said, oh, yeah, you
Speaker 1: might be maybe this is the running thing as well.
Speaker 1: Producing too much of whatever this acid or hormone is
Speaker 1: and it makes the milk taste sour. She said, the
Speaker 1: way that you deal with it is you boil it.
Speaker 1: So I would then, because I wasn't doing enough with
Speaker 1: this goddamn pump all day, I would pump five times
Speaker 1: a day. Then I would bring it home and I
Speaker 1: would boil it to get whatever the ends time out exactly,
Speaker 1: and then I would give it to her. So there, Look,
Speaker 1: whatever problem you think you have, there is an answer
Speaker 1: out there for it. Somebody has gone through it, because
Speaker 1: like I was for three months in the middle, I
Speaker 1: was boiling my milk every day after I pumped it.
Speaker 1: If breastfeeding is something to you that is a huge priority,
Speaker 1: and it is a priority. Like when I was really
Speaker 1: freaked out in the beginning, I had a lactation expert
Speaker 1: come to my house and say, look, this is a
Speaker 1: full time job. Only you can decide if it's a
Speaker 1: full time job you want to be taking right now,
Speaker 1: because you have other full time jobs being this kid's mom, scandal,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. She's like, breastfeeding is a huge commitment.
Speaker 1: But I have been really really happy that I have
Speaker 1: stuck with it so far. Um, but it's a huge commitment.
Speaker 1: And you have to if you're gonna do it. You
Speaker 1: you have so many avenues that you can go down
Speaker 1: to seek help, to get support. There's like letch a leagues,
Speaker 1: there's groups of you know, you can find groups of
Speaker 1: other moms to talk to. You can I'm sure, get
Speaker 1: a electation person on the phone for hopefully not that
Speaker 1: much money, and we'll find sites for you guys to
Speaker 1: be whatever weird thing is happening, It's happened to someone else.
Speaker 1: That's one thing I take so everything with motherhood. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I take so much comfort in that. And when I
Speaker 1: first got pregnant and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant, is nervous, Like this is crazy. I just
Speaker 1: kept reminding myself, like Christen, calm down, be humble. You
Speaker 1: are not the first person to ever have a baby.
Speaker 1: Every single thing that could happen good or bad with
Speaker 1: breastfeeding or babies has happened before, which means there is
Speaker 1: a human who knows how to deal with it and
Speaker 1: you you just need to spread a wide net of
Speaker 1: a support system. There will be someone to help you.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen. Kristen Bell Genius Glorious Human Breastfeeding advocate.
Speaker 1: I miss it so much. I do so much. I
Speaker 1: told you the other day I was holding my girlfriends,
Speaker 1: I'm going to miss it, and you guys loved it.
Speaker 1: I effing hated it, so like we're gonna go through
Speaker 1: my turnaround on this whole thing, but like now, I
Speaker 1: I you would. The crap that I went through to
Speaker 1: be a successful breastfeeding mom um was so hard, and
Speaker 1: to be on this side of it and actually say
Speaker 1: that I like it and that, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 1: might miss it, like it's so much. I miss it.
Speaker 1: So when I was holding this two month old baby
Speaker 1: and everybody else was out of the house and I
Speaker 1: was like taking a nap with him, every he started rooting,
Speaker 1: and the only thing that was going through my head
Speaker 1: was like, how long will I be the weird one
Speaker 1: in the friend group? If I let this baby just
Speaker 1: soothe on my boob right now? He will Erica hate me?
Speaker 1: Eric As the baby's mom, will Erica hate me? Will
Speaker 1: she think this is gross? If my group of friends
Speaker 1: finds out that I nurse this baby to keep it soothed,
Speaker 1: how long will they make fun of me? Because I
Speaker 1: really wanted to. I went through all these things. I
Speaker 1: think they came home right before I made the decision
Speaker 1: to pull my boob out. But I swear to God,
Speaker 1: I was going to do it because you loved it.
Speaker 1: Wet nurses exist, It's okay to nurse each other's babies,
Speaker 1: and I want to nurse all the babies. I'm honestly
Speaker 1: feeling like I'm having a letdown right now, and I
Speaker 1: love it. My baby. You probably around you just smell it.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on Katie's grip. Thanks
Speaker 1: for having really I love Katie's script. Hi everybody, and
Speaker 1: welcome my dear, dear, longtime friend and makeup artist Jamie Greenberg,
Speaker 1: who is a mom of three guys. Count them one
Speaker 1: to three and I've only had one and I can't
Speaker 1: even imagine doing three. Um, and Jamie is here talking
Speaker 1: about the awesome choices she has made to breastfeed not
Speaker 1: to breastfeed her child. So take us through your kids,
Speaker 1: how many you have, and you're your experience with preast meeting, okay, So,
Speaker 1: and I won't get caught up too much. And by
Speaker 1: the way, hi everybody, Hi, I don't get caught up
Speaker 1: too much. And so the first one was, like, you know,
Speaker 1: the most exciting, but you know this, and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: like a lot of their but like my mom was
Speaker 1: sick with cancer. Oh my god, it was like just
Speaker 1: so heavy. Your mom was very, very sick with cancer
Speaker 1: and you were very very pregnant and it was the
Speaker 1: end of her life. Yes, And it was like this
Speaker 1: weird like circle of life thing. And I had the
Speaker 1: baby and then the baby swallowed maconium, which is super normal. Guys,
Speaker 1: those don't know, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes babies are distressed
Speaker 1: in the birth canal and so they poop their first poop,
Speaker 1: which poop isn't called poop when it's your first poop,
Speaker 1: it's called maconium, and the baby inhales it in the
Speaker 1: birth canal, and it can be very scary and um
Speaker 1: dangerous to the baby, traumatic because it's like a tary
Speaker 1: substance sticky. So a lot of kids swallow a little bit.
Speaker 1: It's pretty normal. But my kid, you know, being the
Speaker 1: being that she was, she had swallow. They had seen
Speaker 1: at cedars and a long collapsed Yeah yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: You didn't know this, yes, her long collapse. And so
Speaker 1: it was like, how did they know? Did they know
Speaker 1: that in there or she came out coming out all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, like ten people in my room. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what guy, it's a learning hospital, but like this, and
Speaker 1: literally they took her out, put her under the light.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of commotion, and then everyone in
Speaker 1: the room left. My doctor like delivered my placenta, and
Speaker 1: then that he left, and then there was like a
Speaker 1: man sweeping and I'm like, what's going on? Wait, so
Speaker 1: the baby was taken away from you and yeah, and
Speaker 1: it was did you know that was normal or abnormal?
Speaker 1: I didn't know because it was my first time, and
Speaker 1: I feel like it was just like in the I
Speaker 1: was like in the moment, like what's going on? And
Speaker 1: I knew something was bad. You know, you'd get that
Speaker 1: feeling something was bad, but I didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1: And we just sat there for like two hours. No
Speaker 1: one went to tell my parents what happened in the
Speaker 1: waiting room, like nobody knew what was going on. The
Speaker 1: baby had been born, nothing and for forty eight hours
Speaker 1: it was touch and go because they were trying to
Speaker 1: war up. Yes, why I never told you this? Why
Speaker 1: why I didn't tell you why? Because I was you
Speaker 1: were going to try to have a baby. And you
Speaker 1: were like, you're going to tell that and that's why
Speaker 1: you're a good friend. Yeah, I would never tell that.
Speaker 1: This is very scary. Yes, so literallys was touching go
Speaker 1: whether or not she was going to live. Did not
Speaker 1: see her for a full day. My husband. They took
Speaker 1: him upstairs and made him do everything sign pa. He's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. They're like, do you have to sign
Speaker 1: the paper to do this for her to get this
Speaker 1: breathing machine for this if we have to take her
Speaker 1: medavac to did and he was like saw ghosts never
Speaker 1: cried so hard with my husband, like we're both crying both.
Speaker 1: He came down and told me the story. I'm stuck
Speaker 1: in the room. I'm like, no one's telling me what's
Speaker 1: going on. Then the next day when we woke up,
Speaker 1: they were like, I was like, is she going to die?
Speaker 1: And they're like it's gonna We're not sure what's going on.
Speaker 1: We're trying to figure things out, but no one could
Speaker 1: give me an answer, you know, because nobody knew so
Speaker 1: they could get her on any of the breathing machines,
Speaker 1: like it wasn't working, and I'm thinking, oh, this baby
Speaker 1: is going to be fried, Like so she was in
Speaker 1: the Nike for five weeks, and I was in the
Speaker 1: Nike for five weeks, and so guess what I had
Speaker 1: to do? Pump for five weeks? And did you I
Speaker 1: pumped for five weeks. They're like the only thing you
Speaker 1: can do, and the only control I had was to pump,
Speaker 1: you know what. It was the only thing that was
Speaker 1: like connecting you to your for ten days, like just
Speaker 1: went up to the first of all, she was a
Speaker 1: goliath because she was in the Nike, and everyone in
Speaker 1: the Nick is a premi. So she's like a full
Speaker 1: term big baby. Greenberg makes big babies. My husband six six.
Speaker 1: She's a big, tall husband. So I moved to the
Speaker 1: sofa tel. So meanwhile, my mom's dying of cancer. She's like,
Speaker 1: why can't anything go kidding me? My husband was like
Speaker 1: on the path to do like directing. So he had
Speaker 1: booked a national commercial for silk milk. Of course, try
Speaker 1: to take it our business. You have to take it.
Speaker 1: When that door comes knocking, you need that money. Was like,
Speaker 1: you've got to get out of here. So he left
Speaker 1: after he had he did the casting over Skype. Thank
Speaker 1: god that existed. He was supposed to leave right after
Speaker 1: the birth, but he stayed a couple of days when
Speaker 1: we didn't know if it was gonna be a real
Speaker 1: thing or not. And my mom like, you didn't know
Speaker 1: if she was gonna live. Yeah, yes, So I'm speechless.
Speaker 1: So then my mom my husband left and humping and like,
Speaker 1: milk is coming in, Like so when I first started,
Speaker 1: So they came in, they could put the machine on you,
Speaker 1: like it was like colostrum, like barely anything came out,
Speaker 1: and then stuff along is the first milk that ever
Speaker 1: comes out of your you And it's not really like
Speaker 1: milk yet. It's more like a really really thick, yellowish
Speaker 1: white kind of cream. Yeah. They call it like liquid gold.
Speaker 1: And it's called liquid gold because it supposedly has all
Speaker 1: the nutrients in it that the baby should need to
Speaker 1: live and survive until your milk comes in. It has
Speaker 1: vitamins in it and and all that stuff. So were they
Speaker 1: rushing your colostrum milk up to her, yes, but they
Speaker 1: still they were just collecting, right, and they were like,
Speaker 1: this is the best thing you can do. And I
Speaker 1: felt like it was the only thing I could get.
Speaker 1: So you were like working that pump. So my mom
Speaker 1: and I stayed at the Sophie Tell for about five
Speaker 1: sheet in treatment at the same time. She was like
Speaker 1: like she was like it was like bad. Like she
Speaker 1: had had this thing stuck and put into her stomach
Speaker 1: before she came out because she the tumors had grown
Speaker 1: so much that she had trouble digesting and breathing and
Speaker 1: eating and everything. So she needed like a valve to
Speaker 1: kind of like release the pressure in her stomach. So
Speaker 1: my mom was walking around with this bag and like
Speaker 1: and a and a like tube and she would carry
Speaker 1: a Lulu lemon bag because you could throw them away,
Speaker 1: but they weren't like paper bags. So she was carrying
Speaker 1: around this pump thing sticking out of the side of
Speaker 1: her stomach and a lovely and a turban. I pumped
Speaker 1: so much milk. I was so hormonal. I remember one
Speaker 1: time I pumped and took it off and I spilled
Speaker 1: the whole thing. And you would have thought so many died,
Speaker 1: except that that's something I really shouldn't be saying it.
Speaker 1: You can, but I can take it. It was like
Speaker 1: she died and I freaked on her, and I freaked
Speaker 1: on I got so I never have I was just
Speaker 1: a lot of emotion, I think anyway, you think you're
Speaker 1: sitting next to your kid and your mom is dying.
Speaker 1: It was answer and just delivered a baby for the
Speaker 1: first time ever. Your husband's awaiting. Actually you're allowed. You
Speaker 1: really get to know yourself. But I remember I was
Speaker 1: my friend, one of my best friends, Jamie, came to
Speaker 1: stay and we would like camp out, tailgate, hang out
Speaker 1: and then make you and then go back to this
Speaker 1: all day and then go back to the sofa tail
Speaker 1: and watch Jersey Short like three in the morning. I
Speaker 1: watched every episode of that show, every episode of The
Speaker 1: Jersey Shore. Shout out to the Jersey Shore. I love
Speaker 1: you like that got me through like the darkest time.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just need like every kind of mind number.
Speaker 1: That was with Simon Garbage. Yeah you do serial the podcast,
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, great, great choice. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I pumped, I pump, pump, pump, pump, pumped, and then
Speaker 1: then they then they fed it to her and all
Speaker 1: egid was pump. I was a cow. It was Pumped
Speaker 1: City USA, and then did you make a lot I
Speaker 1: made a lot um and it was great. The pump
Speaker 1: was great. I remember on the flight then I had
Speaker 1: then I was I got her out at a five weeks,
Speaker 1: and they were like, your mom's gonna die. I was
Speaker 1: like such a crossroads, Like so I had to take
Speaker 1: a five week old and fly to Maryland and they
Speaker 1: didn't have a pump. Jet Blue didn't have anywhere to
Speaker 1: plug in the pump, so I had to use a
Speaker 1: hand pump. So I was like in the corner, like
Speaker 1: jacking my own. Yeah, of course, like jacking off your
Speaker 1: hand pump yourself. It's like you're jacking off your boob.
Speaker 1: It's like your cow's utter, like how you would imagine
Speaker 1: a farmer milking a cow. And you're like, which is
Speaker 1: a very similar motion to jerking off? Is what you're
Speaker 1: doing to your own boob. It's all the same, It's
Speaker 1: all the same thing. So and then we got to
Speaker 1: Maryland and I, you know, my mom was supposed to
Speaker 1: die like the week we got there. And it was
Speaker 1: so weird because Lenny was still on an oxygen machine.
Speaker 1: Were you able to breastfeed her at this point or no?
Speaker 1: So then the latch so then she wouldn't match because
Speaker 1: I feel like she had been five weeks of bottles.
Speaker 1: They say there's all these rules about like don't get
Speaker 1: you know, if you're in the perfect situation. You don't
Speaker 1: give them a bottle until they've really gotten the hang
Speaker 1: of latching onto a nipple. Yes that's yours, because otherwise
Speaker 1: you'll never get them back. So that was really frustrating,
Speaker 1: and just being a first time mom. I just remember,
Speaker 1: besides the state of my mother, just as a human being,
Speaker 1: I was so insecure as a first time mom with
Speaker 1: like everything, Like I had no idea what was going on,
Speaker 1: and I had no one to like kind of like
Speaker 1: chat with, you know what I mean. So I felt
Speaker 1: like so lone. And even one of my mom's best
Speaker 1: friends was a labor and delivery nurse and when I
Speaker 1: told her that I was thinking about stop stopping the
Speaker 1: breast feeding and the pumping, she like shamed me. This
Speaker 1: is a big thing. It's a big especially in l A,
Speaker 1: but probably everywhere just like women and sadly nurses and
Speaker 1: doctors shaming women into making a choice of like I'm
Speaker 1: done with this, this isn't for me, this isn't for
Speaker 1: my family. Is just like really badly looked upon for
Speaker 1: whatever reasons. It's crazy to me. It's so I wasn't
Speaker 1: a breastfed. I was a breakfet You you're rock star.
Speaker 1: I'm a rock star. I mean, yes, okay, so you
Speaker 1: told her? Did you quit during? I mean, so, first
Speaker 1: of all, the fact that you guys make milk under
Speaker 1: this sort of stress and the pressure is insane. To
Speaker 1: go to Maryland though, the milk started to like it
Speaker 1: was really hard, and I was like a wreck. And
Speaker 1: my husband's like, you're a wreck, Like, just stop with
Speaker 1: the pumping, star. It's such a you know, the pumping,
Speaker 1: with the cleaning and the thing. Oh my god, you guys,
Speaker 1: when you pump, you have to clean eighty seven hundred
Speaker 1: pump parts in between every single time you feed, and
Speaker 1: if you're feeding ten times a day, do you know
Speaker 1: how many dishes that is to do? Oh to remove
Speaker 1: the laugh flap and then you and you don't know
Speaker 1: where there's so many parts and it's very difficult, it is.
Speaker 1: And then you're like, I throw it in the microwave
Speaker 1: to like demon it's always about disinfecting. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it got dropped on the floor. Blah blah blah. It's insane.
Speaker 1: It was so I was just like probably the last
Speaker 1: bit of stress you could possibly. I didn't take it anymore,
Speaker 1: and like I just stopped. And so, how did you
Speaker 1: stop it from coming out of your boobs. Because this
Speaker 1: is what I'm curious about. Like when I was wrapped
Speaker 1: it as tight as I could, I put with what
Speaker 1: bandage I wore sports bras. Cabbage was the last go around.
Speaker 1: I hear this, people put cabbage on their boobs to
Speaker 1: stop milk and the Similarly, if you're an overproducer, like
Speaker 1: you're someone that makes too much milk, um and it's painful,
Speaker 1: you're supposed to like a regular cabbage, yes, straight up
Speaker 1: like cold Gelson's like as is just like peel the
Speaker 1: leaves off and stick them in your bra That's what
Speaker 1: I did. And you smell like coast law Like it's
Speaker 1: like like kind, I know, a little nibble here. Wow.
Speaker 1: And so was it painful? You know? I don't I remember,
Speaker 1: Like I felt like you kind of felt a little
Speaker 1: feverish sometimes and then you would just take like a
Speaker 1: title and all. Yeah. And but it was way less
Speaker 1: um of a process that I thought it was gonna be. Also,
Speaker 1: my boobs are the biggest boobs you've ever so you
Speaker 1: do have. I've seen Jamie Broomberg's boobs and they were
Speaker 1: impressively large. They were renting with her. I think they
Speaker 1: were like, um, we're like four, like cripple g or
Speaker 1: something back then. So I used to show everybody where
Speaker 1: were you when she was that so at about six weeks,
Speaker 1: but I had a lot of milk or so she
Speaker 1: had about two months of breast milk and that was
Speaker 1: it with her. And what did you say to the
Speaker 1: labor and delivery nurse when you were like, I'm wanting
Speaker 1: to quit? Did you? She just that was the front
Speaker 1: of your mom. She just didn't have like she was like, no,
Speaker 1: breast monks the best thing. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: but I just felt like I was so stressed out
Speaker 1: just with my mom. And you know, it's like Jamie
Speaker 1: there of course, but like I was in such a
Speaker 1: just shitty state as like a human being. Like I
Speaker 1: just was like everything was my life had been turned around.
Speaker 1: Was like I had a baby, I had my mom,
Speaker 1: and I was just like trying to your the basement
Speaker 1: where Marlan. By the way, Jamie Riomberg has three children,
Speaker 1: and her third is named Babe, which is the greatest
Speaker 1: name for a girl I've ever met my entire life.
Speaker 1: And Babe that was your mom's nickname. Yeah, they called
Speaker 1: her babe because her name was Ruth. So, so Simon
Speaker 1: is your boy? Sim into my little key's hair? Three? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and did you breastfeed with him? So I did him.
Speaker 1: He latched in the hospital right away because I was like,
Speaker 1: did you go into him his labor being like that pregnancy,
Speaker 1: being like, when Simon's here, I'm going to breastfeed him.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: I kind of were on the fence. Yeah, but the
Speaker 1: minute he came, he latched on right away, and I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, like that's not was what happened to
Speaker 1: plenty you always put in that position. And because this
Speaker 1: was like my first birth now, because that first one
Speaker 1: was not normal, like none of them it was normal.
Speaker 1: And when I remember when I had him and then
Speaker 1: he like everything just when according to you have face
Speaker 1: traumatic stress, like when you were having Simon that you
Speaker 1: were worried. Oh my god, yes, and doctor Catch shout
Speaker 1: out to Dr Coats, he will. I was like, everyone
Speaker 1: knows to be there, you have to be there. I
Speaker 1: will say this too. He would he would be in
Speaker 1: the hospital every day. He would just come check on
Speaker 1: on Lenny every day in the hospital, and he didn't
Speaker 1: know if I was going to be there. But I
Speaker 1: was there every day because I camped out. I knew
Speaker 1: every story. I was like a caseworker, like I loved you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were like I was worried everybody. I'd bring in
Speaker 1: like sprinkles cupcakes, and but he came in every day.
Speaker 1: But okay, So with Simon, it was like a latched
Speaker 1: immediately to do this. So then I started doing it.
Speaker 1: It was great, and then I started like getting really
Speaker 1: like just like bloody, and I got mistited how many times,
Speaker 1: like I felt like every time we'd have like three
Speaker 1: days of greatness and then it would get like gorge.
Speaker 1: I can like feel it, and I was like, what
Speaker 1: the funk? And then we went I went for six
Speaker 1: weeks and I was like, I just want to do
Speaker 1: three months. I just want to do three months. And
Speaker 1: my husband looked at me one day and you know you,
Speaker 1: like I was like I had a lot of milk.
Speaker 1: And every time I would go to like I'm like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna go to Whole Food
Speaker 1: and get smoothies just to get out, and I would
Speaker 1: just leak everywhere with pads and stuff. And then I
Speaker 1: would just so I kind of just stayed in my bed.
Speaker 1: I felt like job of the hut, like I never
Speaker 1: left and I became. I didn't become postpartum. Your house
Speaker 1: abound compressed, like just so sad, you know. And so
Speaker 1: I was like, then I decided to go back to her.
Speaker 1: You felt like you were a nursing jail, which is
Speaker 1: a real thing. That is I'm so glad we're going
Speaker 1: to have talked to her. But Linda Hannah, who I
Speaker 1: know you used, Yes, I called her and she was
Speaker 1: she gave me the best advice because again, everyone tells
Speaker 1: you have to breastfeed. There's not one person telling you
Speaker 1: can't breastfeed. That's why I'm talking to you. I love Linda,
Speaker 1: she said. She came into the house and we were trying,
Speaker 1: and she she was like, you do have big boobs.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, good, thank you, because nobody was.
Speaker 1: I was like, isn't it it's kind of hard like
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, no, no, it's hard. And your
Speaker 1: nipples aren't like as they could be. You could try
Speaker 1: and nip my head inverted. Yeah, you had invert hell
Speaker 1: hell on Earth. But you know, she said to me,
Speaker 1: and maybe this has been something that she's learned since
Speaker 1: you and Simon. I don't know, but she came in
Speaker 1: and she said, if you want any prayer in hell
Speaker 1: of doing this, you gotta get out of nursing jail.
Speaker 1: Because what I was doing was every single time I nursed,
Speaker 1: I would go into my kid's nursery, sit in this chair,
Speaker 1: not do it in front of anyone, being a dark
Speaker 1: room all by myself, a million times a day. And
Speaker 1: she was like, what do you think you're gonna be
Speaker 1: stuck in here for? Like, if you really want to
Speaker 1: do this, you gotta be on You've got to be
Speaker 1: able to do it while standing, You've got to be
Speaker 1: able to do it while laying down. You gotta do
Speaker 1: it covered, uncovered, out in a restaurant in front of people.
Speaker 1: It has to be a part of your life and
Speaker 1: not a big deal. Otherwise there's no prayer in hell
Speaker 1: doing it. And that's okay if you don't want, Like,
Speaker 1: if that's not for you, then that's not for you.
Speaker 1: But if you really are gonna take this into a
Speaker 1: longer term thing than the first four weeks when you
Speaker 1: plan to just be home on maternity leave, and you
Speaker 1: really want to take this out into the world, you've
Speaker 1: gotta be able to do it anywhere, any time, under
Speaker 1: any circumstances. So I was a nursing jail and I
Speaker 1: hated it. Same thing. So you were depressed in bed,
Speaker 1: not really leaving the house because you were leaking everywhere,
Speaker 1: and every three days you would have you would have
Speaker 1: good days and then there would be like a horrible
Speaker 1: day and it would be great. And then I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: let me call her, and she came in. She helped me.
Speaker 1: She showed me different ways to hold the baby, which
Speaker 1: was great, Like you could lie you could be super
Speaker 1: tired and have that baby lie on bed with you,
Speaker 1: which is great. So I had all these new tools
Speaker 1: on how to do it better. And then your husband
Speaker 1: says to you. And then my husband says to me,
Speaker 1: which is great because a lot of husbands they don't
Speaker 1: know and they're like, you have to breastfeed, and it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're just saying that, you're being like everybody else.
Speaker 1: But my husband was like, stop breastfeeding, like stop it.
Speaker 1: You're going to be so much more yourself yourself. And
Speaker 1: I was like, because Jamie, you're very much someone to like.
Speaker 1: You are very active, like you're out and about you
Speaker 1: do a million things in a day. You have a
Speaker 1: lot of friends, Like and I'm not saying that's like
Speaker 1: four or against breastfeeding, but I mean, I can't even
Speaker 1: imagine you home in bed for like a long period
Speaker 1: of time. That's insane. I don't even Gemini like a
Speaker 1: typical gem and I would like split personalities, but like
Speaker 1: that was what I saw my other my other side,
Speaker 1: Like I was like, I'm a sad little person. So
Speaker 1: he was like, and why do you think you listen
Speaker 1: to him? Or why do you think because I needed
Speaker 1: someone to throw me a lifeline, Like I needed somebody
Speaker 1: to just like said it was okay. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: if my husband says it's okay, it's okay. There's such
Speaker 1: a stigma to it not being okay. I honestly think
Speaker 1: it's the only reason why I didn't quit. It was
Speaker 1: because I was like, like, I feel like you almost
Speaker 1: have to be more confident of a person. It's exactly
Speaker 1: that's to say that's not for me or I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that. You almost have to be. It wasn't very
Speaker 1: braver and more confident to do that, because it was
Speaker 1: the only thing standing between me and quitting was that
Speaker 1: I was going to feel embarrassed in a shame. You're
Speaker 1: still going. I'm still going. But I just think that's
Speaker 1: really brave of you. Like I just really think that
Speaker 1: for you to go around be like, no, this is
Speaker 1: how long I did. That's what I did. Done, yea,
Speaker 1: So Simon, I did that and when I was done,
Speaker 1: it literally was like a light switch of happiness, like
Speaker 1: all the happy juice that I am normally for you
Speaker 1: who cared? So the third one, you know, you, babe,
Speaker 1: I was like baby and getting the boob not for
Speaker 1: a second, and you made that choice before you went
Speaker 1: into labor. Everything you knew you were not doing this, kid,
Speaker 1: And you know what it was. It was the evolution
Speaker 1: of me because I was kind of to go from
Speaker 1: Lenny to Simon to m babe and for you to
Speaker 1: grow right, seeing motherhood is so much about growing confident
Speaker 1: in your choices, thinking to your gun, I'm still such
Speaker 1: as in that way, I was like, oh should I
Speaker 1: take that class? Oh I need to do this, Should
Speaker 1: I sign up for that? Oh you're doing this? Oh
Speaker 1: I should be doing that to me right now the
Speaker 1: first time. So you sign up for everything, you drive
Speaker 1: yourself in saying the kid has no fucking clue what's
Speaker 1: going on with anything. He just doesn't care. And it
Speaker 1: was just like and then by the third kid, you're
Speaker 1: just like, I know exactly what's best for me and
Speaker 1: for my baby. Thank you very much, thank you very much.
Speaker 1: And it's so when you told the nurses, Cedars, I'm
Speaker 1: not breastfeeding this kid after you got birth gave birth
Speaker 1: to her, which, now what happens when a lot of
Speaker 1: times in vaginal child birth, the baby comes out and
Speaker 1: they put the baby right on your chest to go
Speaker 1: find your nipple to suckle. Is that something that did
Speaker 1: or didn't happen? That breastfeeding wasn't in your plan. You
Speaker 1: just gave me the baby, held the baby, then took
Speaker 1: it and cleaned it, and they were like, are you
Speaker 1: breast I feel like I was asked, like seventeen times
Speaker 1: you breastfeeding? Yeah? No, and there was like and were
Speaker 1: you proud? Every time he said now, I was like nope,
Speaker 1: because now I have the confidence and you're like, you're wrong,
Speaker 1: you know. And then when I remember being in the
Speaker 1: room and they wheel in the they wheel in the
Speaker 1: breast pump to have you started breath pumping the colossroom
Speaker 1: and I was like nope, and I put up my
Speaker 1: hand and she's like what and I was like no.
Speaker 1: And they start going into the spield and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is my third kid, I'm not breastfeeding, and they
Speaker 1: were like it was kind of like they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: we got you, like everything changed or when you said
Speaker 1: you have three kids. I was like, I felt like
Speaker 1: I was bullied, like you you know, so the first
Speaker 1: didn't count, the second I tried it, and the third
Speaker 1: I was like funck no. And then I have two
Speaker 1: friends that didn't didn't They both have two kids. They
Speaker 1: didn't breastfeed at all. They're very confident women that like
Speaker 1: don't care. I like, you have not care what people think.
Speaker 1: You have to not care what people think. And that's
Speaker 1: probably what a lesson in motherhood because it is really
Speaker 1: I have never been tested and I only have a
Speaker 1: three and a month old, so I don't see where
Speaker 1: this is going. But like, I just mean, even in
Speaker 1: history and a half months, I'm a people pleaser and
Speaker 1: I need to care what people think. I can't believe
Speaker 1: how much motherhood calls upon yourself to just make decisions
Speaker 1: and not care what people think and be proud of them.
Speaker 1: And I can't even imagine being in theaters and just
Speaker 1: telling them you're not breastfeeding because I was breastfeeding and
Speaker 1: it was so pushed on me. Oh great, good, Yes,
Speaker 1: it's the best thing for them. But I'm like, I
Speaker 1: mean even when I walk into my pediatricians office now
Speaker 1: with my kid, um, they'll be like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: an only breastfeed baby. Yeah yeah, And I'm like, who
Speaker 1: is really into breastfeeding? And she kind of gives me
Speaker 1: shit about it. And then every time her kid's sick,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, he's sick again. It hasn't been sick
Speaker 1: in six months. You know, it becomes like a whole thing,
Speaker 1: the whole thing. Were like, well, breastfeed babies are never sick.
Speaker 1: Not true. My kid was sick in the first week
Speaker 1: of his life. The bottom line, I can honestly say,
Speaker 1: the breastfeeding at this point like is I have to
Speaker 1: be very careful. I talked about this with my nanny
Speaker 1: a lot, but like breastfeeding a lot right now is
Speaker 1: about me and my ego. Well that's what I was
Speaker 1: going to say. So when I had Babe, there were
Speaker 1: a couple of nights that my hormones were like, bitch,
Speaker 1: give her a boob, give her a boob. So I
Speaker 1: would give her the boob and I'd be sitting there
Speaker 1: like I didn't want to tell my husband. I was
Speaker 1: literally a secret slipping the kitty and wasn't nothing was
Speaker 1: coming out. I still have milk and you go wet
Speaker 1: nurse your baby right now? Are you kidding? You're still
Speaker 1: dried up? I'm still no way, there's still now. I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do, like cabbage or behind them
Speaker 1: this time too. Yeah. My doctor's like sometimes it just
Speaker 1: takes a long time for it to like go away.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, So I was giving a
Speaker 1: babe like I think I think maybe five times. I
Speaker 1: would secretly give it to her and then I would
Speaker 1: like slap my face and like snap out of it.
Speaker 1: You don't want this, you know, because I felt the
Speaker 1: voice was taking over my head being like you should
Speaker 1: really really give her a boom, and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, who's saying that? Like in my mind,
Speaker 1: I was like, just like do you think that is
Speaker 1: like your womanly some sort of nature versus nurture? Like
Speaker 1: who is it is? It? Is it society telling you
Speaker 1: to do it or is it your body has It's
Speaker 1: like you you know, you're you're wearing this armor of
Speaker 1: like defending yourself all the time. And then you're like,
Speaker 1: maybe I shouldn't give her the boom. So I did
Speaker 1: that a couple of times, and then I was like no,
Speaker 1: because I started to think about because she latched on
Speaker 1: right away too. And she's like an eater. I mean,
Speaker 1: she probably weighs more than Alby. She definitely does. She's like,
Speaker 1: I'll be is in the sixth person, but how much
Speaker 1: does he twelve and a half pun? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: she weighs thirteen point seven and she's only two months.
Speaker 1: So but you have big babies, big babies, but she um, yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, and I just felt like, has formula been
Speaker 1: so easy for you? Like, oh my everything compared to
Speaker 1: what's the first six weeks? What's amazing is that you're
Speaker 1: on this show, like you're on Katie's crib talking about
Speaker 1: that you've had the experience Otherwise, did the first six
Speaker 1: weeks of babes life look so different to you as
Speaker 1: far as what was easier? And day that because my babies,
Speaker 1: you know, they wake up, they're hungry. This you can't
Speaker 1: get a schedule. I put I put Simon on a schedule.
Speaker 1: He was on a schedule, but it was really tough
Speaker 1: because sometimes they don't you don't know how much they eat.
Speaker 1: And then it's like it's much easier when you're seeing
Speaker 1: how many ounces is they're getting in the day and
Speaker 1: so you know they're going to sleep at night because
Speaker 1: they've had the right amount of ounces in the day
Speaker 1: where you know they're full. Yeah, and we had like
Speaker 1: the night breastfeeding. You're guessing I too, my nurses like
Speaker 1: did you eat well? I'm like, I think so. I
Speaker 1: mean I literally have no idea he drank two ounces
Speaker 1: or six have no idea because you could just be
Speaker 1: on there for ten minutes sucking and have a good
Speaker 1: time but not swallowing or exactly the whole thing. When
Speaker 1: you're like you're tickling their feet and blowing their ear
Speaker 1: to wake up, You're like, you're on the job. You've
Speaker 1: got to eat. You know you're gonna wake up in
Speaker 1: two hours when I want to be sleeping. I do
Speaker 1: have to say, though, like I go back and forth
Speaker 1: two ways, like one I don't I think I would
Speaker 1: have quit had I not felt the shame. But I
Speaker 1: also feel I also have never felt more proud of
Speaker 1: something in my life, mostly because I got through something
Speaker 1: that was very physically painful to me. Breastfeeding for me,
Speaker 1: was far more painful than labor by like leaps and bounds.
Speaker 1: So the fact that I I'm just probably I looked
Speaker 1: it in the face and I'm still doing it. But
Speaker 1: now it's like this whole thing like well, how long
Speaker 1: did you breast? How long did you breast? Yes? Yes,
Speaker 1: And it's always a competition between mothers, and I think
Speaker 1: that and I think this is only gonna I think
Speaker 1: that breastfeeding is just a window into what the rest
Speaker 1: of it will look like. Just women are probably competitive
Speaker 1: with like well, every how are how old were they
Speaker 1: when they started to walk? What school? Oh he's still
Speaker 1: in diapers? Like whatever next thing is? It's preparing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've got I'm not someone who partakes in any sort
Speaker 1: of like troll rebuttal or, but I've gotten in like
Speaker 1: a handful of like fights. There was a fight with
Speaker 1: a woman at my um that it wasn't about breastfeeding,
Speaker 1: that was actually about having a nanny. Yeah, but still
Speaker 1: these are you shaming me for working? And I got
Speaker 1: into a fight. We want to do an episode about
Speaker 1: working really it's another struggle. And then um, but then,
Speaker 1: I mean another good friend of mine was shaming me
Speaker 1: about the not breastfeeding and was horrified, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, it really did take me three babies to like, finally,
Speaker 1: I feel like I know myself so well. I've never
Speaker 1: heard you so yeah you wanted to ask you on this.
Speaker 1: I you were like you were just you knew exactly
Speaker 1: what the right thing was for you, and there was
Speaker 1: no It was great and it is great, and I'm
Speaker 1: so happy I did it. And she's been the easiest
Speaker 1: of all. My baby is she is. I just feel
Speaker 1: and I feel like, who knows if it's just all
Speaker 1: coinciding with each other, like me being more confident, you know,
Speaker 1: it probably is all a little a little of all,
Speaker 1: but like I just I don't know. I just I'm
Speaker 1: like so proud of myself for not doing it and
Speaker 1: just sticking to my guns and like just you know,
Speaker 1: and and I hope that there's women out there, like listen,
Speaker 1: you could have had I read an article about this
Speaker 1: woman who had was getting shamed and she had breast
Speaker 1: cancer and couldn't and then she would tell them, and
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, by the way, I had cancer.
Speaker 1: I can how do you feel now? You don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on in people's lives. You don't know if
Speaker 1: they're dealing with postpartum depression. You don't know if they
Speaker 1: have other stressors going on where they can't produce milk.
Speaker 1: I know, someone would really been postpartum depression who was
Speaker 1: on really you know, made the choice not to breasting
Speaker 1: because she was on a so many drugs. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: they're just it's it makes things I think some women,
Speaker 1: Like for me, I became depressed breastfeeding, so it wasn't
Speaker 1: helping me. And the bottom line is if I can
Speaker 1: present myself to my child with they're very susceptible to energy.
Speaker 1: So if I don't have fabulous energy around my new baby,
Speaker 1: that is a problem problem. So why don't I not
Speaker 1: breastfeed and be the happiest little energizer bunny that I
Speaker 1: am and just like give that baby some love now
Speaker 1: that's all. She's still two bottles in the night, Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's literally all the night nurses that came in were like,
Speaker 1: this is the easiest baby. She gets fed at ten thirty,
Speaker 1: three thirty and seven, So they would only feed her
Speaker 1: at three thirty. My god, she's almost bigger. The night
Speaker 1: she pretty much is. Yeah, the other nights she had
Speaker 1: to stretched to five fifteen, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: usually two months. But that's what I'm saying. The champion
Speaker 1: for which formula are using. So that's a whole other thing.
Speaker 1: I'm getting the goat milk from Denmark. What a simla.
Speaker 1: I love the Women's organic. Yeah, I love you that.
Speaker 1: I have another friend that uses that. She loves that.
Speaker 1: That was that they didn't have that one n congests.
Speaker 1: I think she does. I'll ask which all like organic,
Speaker 1: Earth's best from foods, Like, there's so many options. In
Speaker 1: fifteen years, your kids are going to be shoving cocaine
Speaker 1: and we eat up their and you're gonna be like,
Speaker 1: but I got in the German formula. It's like no,
Speaker 1: and I love it a lot of women. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like, you know, like what is in formula that
Speaker 1: makes it good of it? It's in vitamins. Like I
Speaker 1: just don't have an idea. I mean, that's another scary thing.
Speaker 1: I have no idea what I'm pumping into my baby,
Speaker 1: but it's working well. Whatever, Like did I eat like
Speaker 1: like I had, I had a fruit roll up foot
Speaker 1: long daily for good ten years as well as a
Speaker 1: kudos barring Come on, I mean I still eat oreos
Speaker 1: by the reg I don't. That's what I'm saying. Like
Speaker 1: you look at your baby and you treat this baby
Speaker 1: so well, It's like, why don't we do that with ourselves?
Speaker 1: Like it's always like I know this one mom who
Speaker 1: like flew in the goat milk and she was like
Speaker 1: a chain smoker, you know, And I'm like I love this,
Speaker 1: Like I just love the dichotomy and like this the motherhood.
Speaker 1: It's just it's the hippocrisy of everything. It's like I'm
Speaker 1: honestly really scared right now to like stop breast, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know whether that is going to be for me.
Speaker 1: It's very hard because it's more I love it and
Speaker 1: now I'm emotionally attached to it, and now my eager
Speaker 1: is attached to it because I'm proud that I do
Speaker 1: it and I'm proud that I made it through and
Speaker 1: I'm proud that it Like now that I've made it here,
Speaker 1: it's also gotten easier, Like it doesn't take thirty minutes
Speaker 1: and now it takes twelve you got it down, and
Speaker 1: I also have become slightly addicted to It's the only
Speaker 1: time in my day where I stop, especially when I'm
Speaker 1: on things like that. It's like, excuse me, I have
Speaker 1: to go breastfeed feed my kid because it's the time
Speaker 1: where I get to see him if I'm working, and
Speaker 1: I get to connect to him, which I'm going to
Speaker 1: have to find a way to do that when I'm
Speaker 1: not breastfeeding. I just like, what am I going to know?
Speaker 1: Is he going to tell me? Am I going to decide?
Speaker 1: I go to New York next week, I'm leaving him alone,
Speaker 1: like I is he gonna be done with it? Then? No,
Speaker 1: you'll see and he might. And a lot of times
Speaker 1: kids tell you they don't want it, and it's what
Speaker 1: I've heard, You'll you'll see and when the time is right,
Speaker 1: and maybe you'll have a little depression after you That's
Speaker 1: what I've heard. A lot of women hormones drop off
Speaker 1: the again, of course because you feel that or you
Speaker 1: just felt totally. My friend who after three days the best,
Speaker 1: so my friend Becky also she stopped breastfeeding it six weeks.
Speaker 1: She ran through the streets, inns and harmony like getting
Speaker 1: out of this house, Like, please let someone else be
Speaker 1: responsible for feeding my kid. I don't want to do
Speaker 1: this on my own anymore. I would do other things
Speaker 1: and leave the house and be a great mom. And
Speaker 1: when I leave the house, I'm a better mom when
Speaker 1: I'm home, you know what I mean. Like she had
Speaker 1: that whole thing going on, but I think it's really
Speaker 1: and I just wish women would unite and just like
Speaker 1: just respect everybody's struggle. It's just like we don't criticize.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess we do. What am I saying?
Speaker 1: Reality television and an all time high, but like we
Speaker 1: totally judge everything that everybody does, that everybody wears, what
Speaker 1: everybody buys, what everybody eats, what everybody you know, it's
Speaker 1: just like just mind your business and like we're all
Speaker 1: doing our best. That's the bottom line. We are all
Speaker 1: doing our best. And when you're a mother of worries, yeah,
Speaker 1: just like you know, you've got to make it work.
Speaker 1: If you decide that breastfeeding is not the choice for you,
Speaker 1: how and you're giving them a bottle and you are
Speaker 1: a person who's breastfed and bottle fed, do you feel
Speaker 1: that same, Like is there a bond or connection in
Speaker 1: breastfeeding that you feel as missing and bottle feeding or
Speaker 1: do you still feel like I still feel like because
Speaker 1: you're still sitting there with the baby. I mean, if
Speaker 1: you want, you could take off your shirt and take
Speaker 1: off their clothes and have that skin to skin, which
Speaker 1: I think is nice. But like with Lenny, I never
Speaker 1: got to do the skin to skin. They're like so
Speaker 1: she was for the first couple of days, you know,
Speaker 1: And it's like, if you adopt a child, you don't
Speaker 1: get that, and you might you can't breastfeed if you
Speaker 1: adopt a child. Like, there's so many things that like,
Speaker 1: there's no like one rule. So I felt like every
Speaker 1: time I'm a little I mean even now at three
Speaker 1: thirty in the morning when I'm feeding her about it,
Speaker 1: all I do is stare at her. I'm so present.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that choice. It was never as present
Speaker 1: with the other two. This one, I breathe every breath
Speaker 1: she takes. I am so in love with her. I
Speaker 1: never had that feeling when I had the other two.
Speaker 1: I was like, it took me a while to get
Speaker 1: to know who they were. This one the minute it
Speaker 1: came out eyes, I'm like a bit how you do
Speaker 1: and the way I love to hear them Because I
Speaker 1: wasn't connected to act year. Simon took me like six months.
Speaker 1: I had like rates of like until the lightning hit
Speaker 1: where I was like, oh, I love you and I
Speaker 1: knew I loved him somewhere like I don't want to say,
Speaker 1: but it was the first six weeks I was like,
Speaker 1: who is this stranger in my house? And what have
Speaker 1: you done with my life? Like this how I felt,
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I love you more than anything I've loved anything in
Speaker 1: my entire life, and now I'm in trouble because if
Speaker 1: anything ever happens to you, I'm not going to and
Speaker 1: my happiness lies in you. Yeah. So I think nightmare
Speaker 1: like the bonding is when you're changing them, when you're
Speaker 1: bathing them, when you're beaving the battle, anytime I'm one
Speaker 1: on one with her, even now with the tummy time.
Speaker 1: So you feel so connected to her and you didn't
Speaker 1: at all, so connect, more connected than my own. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But I think it has a lot to do with
Speaker 1: me too, and just having the confidence in myself because
Speaker 1: I'm also a people pleaser and like my whole and
Speaker 1: I find I feel this has changed me in my
Speaker 1: whole life, like just being able to like put my
Speaker 1: foot down for something and not like just crumble under
Speaker 1: the pressure. You know. Thank you so much, my God,
Speaker 1: so women everywhere and families, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: From Katie's Crib I love Kati's The breastfeeding journey isn't over, guys.
Speaker 1: We have a whole other episode dedicated to breastfeeding where
Speaker 1: we're going to talk to Lynda Hannah who is a
Speaker 1: lactation expert and consultant and literally saved my boobs. So
Speaker 1: let's get ready for the next episode of Katie's Crib Track.