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Speaker 1: Hi everybody, and welcome to Katie's Crib. I'm Katie Lowe's

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Speaker 1: and the title of this podcast says it all. We're

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Speaker 1: going to talk about raising a baby who's in his

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Speaker 1: crib right here, direct from my crib. So our goal

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Speaker 1: here is to create a safe and honest, sometimes you know,

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Speaker 1: super messy place where you can talk about being a

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Speaker 1: new parent. This is not a how to guide. We're

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Speaker 1: not here to offer exact, clear cut solutions of how

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Speaker 1: things should be done. This is an open forum of

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Speaker 1: opinions that are all valid. We're here to talk it out,

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Speaker 1: share experiences, and figure it out together. So on this episode,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about breastfeeding. This is a huge and massive

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Speaker 1: and triggering topic that we could spend forever talking about.

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Speaker 1: In fact, there's so much to talk about that we're

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Speaker 1: actually going to split this episode into two parts because,

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Speaker 1: like I said, it's just a lot. But here in

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Speaker 1: part one, we're going to start at the beginning. We're

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Speaker 1: going to talk about making the decision to breastfeed or

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Speaker 1: not to breastfeed, and some of the early issues we

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Speaker 1: encountered along the way. First up is my girl Kristin Bell,

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Speaker 1: who you may know from the Good Place and Veronica

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Speaker 1: Mars and bad Moms and what else? What else? What else?

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Speaker 1: I mean, there's just so many amazing things. Hello, Frozen, Um,

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Speaker 1: she's here. She's going to share her breastfeeding experiences. And

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Speaker 1: then after Kristen, we're going to talk to my dear

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Speaker 1: friend Jamie Greenberg. She's a celebrity makeup artist and does

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Speaker 1: my makeup on all my red carpet events, and she's

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Speaker 1: going to talk about her journey with three kids and

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Speaker 1: her choice not to breastfeed. Oh and f y, I guys,

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Speaker 1: about halfway through our chat with Kristen Bell, the lawnmower

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Speaker 1: is super loud, so just enjoy pat would you again?

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Speaker 1: Welcome to my world Katie's Crib. We got lawnmowers, dogs, barking,

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Speaker 1: babies crying. It's all happening here. Hi, Christens, thank you

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Speaker 1: very much for being on Katie's rib, which is what

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Speaker 1: we're calling it. I love that because I have a

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Speaker 1: baby in a crib currently and we are taping these

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Speaker 1: podcasts in my crib. Um. So Kristen Bell, you guys,

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Speaker 1: is here because she was very helpful to me in

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Speaker 1: a time when I was very new to breastfeeding, which

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Speaker 1: is a very hot topic, very triggering, very I would

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Speaker 1: say it's the hardest job I've ever had in my

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Speaker 1: entire life, other than trying to be a professional actress.

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Speaker 1: Um So, Kristen Uh we met when I was had

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Speaker 1: a five week old and breasting was very new, and

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Speaker 1: it was so hard I lost a nipple in the process,

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Speaker 1: I had a cracked boob, which we will hear more

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Speaker 1: about how that all went down with the breast specialist

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Speaker 1: that's going to be coming on named Linda Hannah. But

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Speaker 1: Kristen tell us about was breastfeeding an obvious choice for you?

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Speaker 1: Was it something that you knew you wanted to do? Um? Yes,

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Speaker 1: but I don't. I didn't feel like I really thought

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Speaker 1: much about it. It felt uh, it just felt like

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't. I didn't give it much weight,

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Speaker 1: so I just transition to it into it organically, though

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Speaker 1: I did UM. After I was breastfeeding, spend a lot

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Speaker 1: of time thinking about the struggles women go through when

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Speaker 1: they can't breastfeed for any reason, and realizing how much

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Speaker 1: I had wrapped up in it personally and thinking, Wow,

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Speaker 1: what would I have thought about if I had to

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Speaker 1: do formula? If that was my only option. And this

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Speaker 1: is the conclusion I've come to about breastfeeding. It is

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Speaker 1: it really, really is one of the hardest things for

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Speaker 1: women because you take it personally when you can't do it,

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Speaker 1: and it's very, very hard. And I say that having

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Speaker 1: had very few problems breastfeeding, but it is so important

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Speaker 1: to women to be able to do it because you

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Speaker 1: want to satisfy your baby. But the conclusion I've come

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Speaker 1: to is if you my sister did not want to

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Speaker 1: do it. She just didn't want to. She didn't feel

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Speaker 1: like having barnacles on her boobs all day. She had

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Speaker 1: four kids, so she bound her boobs four kids, and

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Speaker 1: she had four kids. She bound her boobs after everyone

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Speaker 1: she said, I don't want to do it. And I thought,

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Speaker 1: by the way, that's how you stop Yeah, that's how

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Speaker 1: you stop it. You just don't let it come in.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, my sister, by the way, is

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Speaker 1: ten times the mother I am. So there's nothing like

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Speaker 1: I guess my like my main motto about breastfeeding is like,

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Speaker 1: there is nothing wrong with if you can't do it,

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Speaker 1: or you have to supplement Look, I was supplemented with formula.

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Speaker 1: I'm perfectly healthy. Everyone was it's all fine. It's all

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Speaker 1: fine because there but there are. I was so interested

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Speaker 1: in the topic UM that I just you know, read

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Speaker 1: and read and learned all these crazy things. I also pregnant,

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Speaker 1: um no while I was breastfeeding, but I also had UM.

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Speaker 1: You know there are. You starting breastfeeding, I think is

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Speaker 1: the hardest because you're dealing with cracked nipples, you're dealing

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Speaker 1: with the baby latch, you're dealing with inversion, inverted nipples,

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Speaker 1: all these things I had. Yeah, it is, and I

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Speaker 1: had a lot of friends that had them. But um,

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Speaker 1: halfway down the road, when you're knee deep into breastfeeding,

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Speaker 1: the mastitis, talk to me about mass Titis is a

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Speaker 1: an infection. It's a blocked milk duct. And when you

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Speaker 1: so so look, if your milk doesn't come in, you

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Speaker 1: might feel like you suck and you have to go

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Speaker 1: to formula. Don't beat yourself up. If your milk does

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Speaker 1: come in and you have too much milk like I did,

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Speaker 1: your ducks can get blocked very easily and you still

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Speaker 1: feel like you suck. Because what can happen with mastitis

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Speaker 1: is it gets blocked, it starts to get sore. If

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Speaker 1: you are not so on top of that, you have

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Speaker 1: to stand under the shower, you have to put heat

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Speaker 1: packs on it, you have to open that duct up

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Speaker 1: or get that baby to sun painful. It's pretty painful

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Speaker 1: in the beginning when it's forming. If it goes to

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Speaker 1: the second stage and the baby doesn't suck it out,

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Speaker 1: it can get infected the third stage after if it

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Speaker 1: gets infected, it can go to your blood and it's

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Speaker 1: like literally hospital you you could die. So you have

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Speaker 1: to be very serious about messitis. It's dead serious. I

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Speaker 1: had mess sides three times. Um. I took antibiotics twice,

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Speaker 1: and that's another thing. Women. Look, I don't love taking antibiotics.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know about superbugs. I watched sixty minutes

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Speaker 1: and like, don't want to take antibiotics, willy nilly. But

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Speaker 1: I also don't want to die in the hospital because

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Speaker 1: of breastfeeding. So both times I trust my obie. I

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Speaker 1: took antibiotics. The third time it was probably had been

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Speaker 1: breastfeeding for I don't know a while. It was on

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Speaker 1: my second child, and I knew it was coming. I

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Speaker 1: could feel it coming. You can feel it internally or

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Speaker 1: you feel like a lump or something. You feel a soreness,

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Speaker 1: feels like a bruise inside your boob, and then you

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Speaker 1: should be able to feel a little lump. It will

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Speaker 1: feel very sore. At that point, you need to start

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Speaker 1: doing like those hot pocket things that you know use

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Speaker 1: when you're skiing. Put those on in your bra stand

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Speaker 1: under the shower, massage it out. Get that baby to

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Speaker 1: suck as much as possible. So, I like, breastfeeding is

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Speaker 1: so crazy because your baby is so needed to do

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Speaker 1: half the job. Yeah. Yeah, and nobody blames the baby, Like, wait,

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Speaker 1: it's all my fall because we're not breastfeeding correctly. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're not breastfeeding correctly. Maybe you need to latch better,

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Speaker 1: like you don't want to blame the baby, but like

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Speaker 1: takes two to tango. But the third time I had mastitis,

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Speaker 1: I knew it was coming. I had been there, done that.

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Speaker 1: You'll so you'll feel a bruise, you will feel if

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Speaker 1: it gets if the infection is there, you will start

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Speaker 1: to get very very cold, and I mean a level

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Speaker 1: of cold that you have never felt before. And it

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Speaker 1: will be because you have a fever and your fever

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Speaker 1: is trying to kill the bacteria. I was the first

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Speaker 1: time I had at my my first daughter Lincoln was

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Speaker 1: six weeks I. We were at a hotel with our

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Speaker 1: parents because we were like, let's do a little like

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Speaker 1: um yeah, like baby getaway. Parents will meet the baby

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Speaker 1: at six weeks whatever. So I'm in bed and I'm like, God,

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Speaker 1: I am freezing. I had a pair of gloves on,

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Speaker 1: I had two sweaters, Dax's jacket, like three pairs of socks,

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Speaker 1: two pairs of sweatpants. I was also under the comforter

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Speaker 1: and I had like a warm winter hat on. And

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Speaker 1: I was never been colder in my life. And that's

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Speaker 1: when I got my first set of antibiotics. Sort of

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Speaker 1: same thing the second time. Third time, I knew it

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Speaker 1: was coming and I said to my husband and then

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Speaker 1: this is a lot of information, but get ready. I

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Speaker 1: said to my husband. I was like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to do antibiotics. If we can get this out. The

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Speaker 1: baby is not sucking hard enough. I need you to

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Speaker 1: be a team player here. And he was like gross, okay,

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Speaker 1: and this is why he's husband of the Year. But he,

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Speaker 1: I swear to God, he pulled that out. I made him.

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Speaker 1: We laid on the bed together, I made him nurse.

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Speaker 1: He sits down, nurses and it was a while I mean,

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Speaker 1: it was like thirty minutes and he had his jaw

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Speaker 1: was sore because he was sucking so hard. Because I

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Speaker 1: was like, you gotta suck harder. I was pushing on

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Speaker 1: the side of my boob. He was pulling, and he

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Speaker 1: this is very gross. He started getting the block out.

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Speaker 1: He started getting because because it's it's gooey, it's like

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Speaker 1: mucus or something. And then he had to get a

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Speaker 1: cop He was like gagging, which I don't blame him

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Speaker 1: of the century, he's spitting it into a cup, but

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Speaker 1: I'll be damned, he pulled it out. He pulled it out,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't have to take any and so you

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Speaker 1: never got sick like you the second the third time,

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Speaker 1: I never get six No, yeah there, Yeah, it's rough,

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Speaker 1: but um, but you know, the the amount of antibiotics

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Speaker 1: the baby gets is negligible, so it's it's all okay. Um.

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Speaker 1: Did you schedule your breastfeeding? Were you on demand for

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Speaker 1: a certain amount of time and then did you move

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Speaker 1: to like a schedule. I started on a schedule, so

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Speaker 1: I took when I came home from the hospital. I

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Speaker 1: also had advice from a baby nurse that I trusted

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Speaker 1: very much um. She talked to me a lot about

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Speaker 1: the theory of not losing myself within all this, which

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Speaker 1: I felt was very important because I am such a

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Speaker 1: people pleaser. I'm like, well, great, I'm just going to

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Speaker 1: be a people pleaser to this baby and I'll go crazy.

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Speaker 1: So she was like, make sure you you sit with

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Speaker 1: your husband at night, you have a glass wine, you like,

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Speaker 1: connect with him. Make sure your baby needs to eat

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Speaker 1: every couple hours, but you'll know so rather than being

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Speaker 1: on demand and putting the boob in the mouth every

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Speaker 1: time they're fussy, which gets them accustomed to that soothing.

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Speaker 1: She's like, it's kind of like us, Like I may

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Speaker 1: want to eat potato chips right now, I don't need

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Speaker 1: potato chips, And to be honest, I'd love if someone

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Speaker 1: said to me, you don't need a potato go take

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Speaker 1: a walk around the block, or let's play a game

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Speaker 1: or something. So I did schedule and I was very

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Speaker 1: happy with it, but some people prefer. Look at a

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Speaker 1: lot of people are more on the go and they

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Speaker 1: want to I didn't want to be a food truck

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Speaker 1: at any time. I just wanted to have more of

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Speaker 1: a schedule. But some people don't mind it. And I

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Speaker 1: really think it is an individual choice. I do too.

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Speaker 1: Um So, how do you feel about breastfeeding in public?

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Speaker 1: I have no problem with it? Here's I mean. I

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Speaker 1: actually think it's very very funny that people think this

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Speaker 1: is such a big deal because there is nothing more

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Speaker 1: primitive and beautiful and organic than breastfeeding a baby. And

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Speaker 1: if you have a problem seeing the corner of my boob,

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Speaker 1: that's not you. Okay, that's not my problem. You can

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Speaker 1: turn your head, you know what I mean, like that,

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Speaker 1: that's that's not you. You got to take care of that,

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Speaker 1: because the sheets and the whole, I mean, I get it.

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Speaker 1: If you're modest, I'm not very modest. Like I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't care much. I would breastfeed in front of

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Speaker 1: anyone because of this. If I'm in a room full

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Speaker 1: of people, guess who the most important person in that

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Speaker 1: room is my baby if they're hungry, I don't care

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Speaker 1: if you see my boob. Like, by the way, my

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Speaker 1: boobooks gorgeous because it's beautiful and a little better so,

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Speaker 1: by the way, half of it was my ego of

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Speaker 1: like see this, I have this for a minute, This

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Speaker 1: is mine, this great boob. Second of all, if you

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Speaker 1: don't like it, you can turn your head. Don't make

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Speaker 1: that my fault. I mean, I'm I'm just coming to

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Speaker 1: terms with this, Like I don't know why I have,

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Speaker 1: Like I've been doing it in public everywhere. I think

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Speaker 1: a big thing about breastfeeding and making it doable is

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Speaker 1: that you have to be able to do it anywhere

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Speaker 1: at any time, if if you really want to continue

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Speaker 1: doing it and make it a part of your life.

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Speaker 1: Because let's I'm not going to sit in my house

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Speaker 1: for a year breastfeeding my kid. I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: out at a restaurant. I'm going to be out in public.

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Speaker 1: I have errands to run. And it became such a

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Speaker 1: freeing thing to me to know, Hey, guess what, you

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Speaker 1: can take your baby to all these things because your

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Speaker 1: boobs come with you and you can eat with you.

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Speaker 1: So like, just get used to doing it anywhere any

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Speaker 1: time that you need to. Well, I look at as

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Speaker 1: my superpower. I wish people looked at it like that,

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Speaker 1: like when I look at my C section scar or

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Speaker 1: like my saggy boobs. Now, I'm like, these are this,

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Speaker 1: these are remnants of the fact that this is evidence

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Speaker 1: that I am a superhero. I did something extraordinary. I

249
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Speaker 1: birthed two babies, and so when when I would feel

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Speaker 1: very confident to breastfeed anywhere, because like that was that

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Speaker 1: was very very powerful and cool to me, and my

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Speaker 1: baby is the most important thing in the room, and

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Speaker 1: no one else really mattered. I love it. How long

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Speaker 1: did you breastfeed for? I breastfed for I breast fed

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Speaker 1: for like um fifteen months with my first one UM.

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Speaker 1: But I pumped a lot, you know, I went back

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Speaker 1: to work, and so I would pump four or five

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Speaker 1: times during the day and still come home and give

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Speaker 1: her the milk. And I had saved up a lot

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Speaker 1: of milk. So then she had milk till I was

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Speaker 1: like eighteen months. Then I got um pregnant. No, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I breastfed until a year, and then she had milk

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Speaker 1: till I was fifteen months. I got pregnant when she

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Speaker 1: was a year, and I was still breastfeeding at night,

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Speaker 1: and it became very difficult for me to sustain even

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Speaker 1: just taking in the calories that that sustained me, my

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Speaker 1: daughter and the baby in my belly. So I it

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Speaker 1: was a lot. It was like eating for truly for

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Speaker 1: three people. So I stopped it is a little bit

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Speaker 1: hard to stop breastfeeding because it is slightly painful because

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Speaker 1: you will have a letdown, which means this kind of

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Speaker 1: feels like your boob is in a microwave, and a

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Speaker 1: letdown means the milk is coming in. You can feel it,

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Speaker 1: and by the way, it's a really good feeling. It's

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Speaker 1: a really really good feeling. But when you have a

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Speaker 1: letdown and you're trying to stop breastfeeding, you have to

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Speaker 1: ignore that let down and just get to the next one.

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Speaker 1: So you basically have to deal with the engorgement um

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Speaker 1: and then kind of just start to to wean the

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Speaker 1: amount that the baby is pulling out less and less feedings. Yes,

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Speaker 1: less and less feedings. You pull them off the boob

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Speaker 1: one or two minutes before they're ready. So you said

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Speaker 1: you went back to work, Like, how did you manage breastfeeding?

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Speaker 1: So you would pump in the day, come home with

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Speaker 1: the bottles, freeze some of them, give some Yeah, I mean, I,

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Speaker 1: first of all, I'm lucky to have a job where

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Speaker 1: I have a voice and a little bit of power.

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Speaker 1: So I simply said I have to stop four times

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Speaker 1: a day to breastfeeds. So you guys are gonna have

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Speaker 1: to figure out what to do for those fifteen minutes

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Speaker 1: and that's just going to be what it is. And

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but but again, my baby is more important.

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Speaker 1: Now a lot of people are not in that position,

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Speaker 1: but in uh, you know, the dawn of a new

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00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,120
Speaker 1: age where this is finally a respected topic, there are

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Speaker 1: a lot of nursing rooms being put and I would

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Speaker 1: just you're really all, yeah, really are there at like

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Speaker 1: airports now they have these little know there's a nursing

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Speaker 1: there's like it's it's unbelievable and I never noticed them

300
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,360
Speaker 1: before I was a nurse, same mother obviously, but like

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Speaker 1: it's incredible. I'm so I'm relieved. I also, I just

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Speaker 1: feel I'm getting more. I'm coming more to terms with

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Speaker 1: like being on a plane and just hand pumping in

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Speaker 1: front of you. Yeah, by the way, you got you

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Speaker 1: got to. And I just would encourage women to like

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Speaker 1: feel confident about that. We don't have to feel we

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Speaker 1: are no longer in a place where we need to

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Speaker 1: feel ashamed or defensive. So it's kind of like, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you're at a job where you can't necessarily like

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Speaker 1: wag your finger in your boss's face and say I'm

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00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,960
Speaker 1: stopping to pump, but if you need to. It's like

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00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,280
Speaker 1: if you your blood sugar was low at work, you

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Speaker 1: would say, I'm so sorry, I need to stop for

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Speaker 1: a snack. It would you wouldn't feel ashamed to say that.

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Speaker 1: You also wouldn't feel defensive, like you better let me

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Speaker 1: have a snack. It's the same with breastfeeding. It's just

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Speaker 1: a fact that has to happen. So I'm I'm very sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to go breastfeed right now, or I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need to go pump. Um. And I just wish

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Speaker 1: it were Yeah, I wish it were like a calmer

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Speaker 1: topic that women didn't feel um insecure about, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: discussing their needs. If you are uncomfortable with boobs, which,

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Speaker 1: by the way, that's not a problem either. Fine, if

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00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,440
Speaker 1: you're uncomfortable, you can turn your head. You can help

325
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,160
Speaker 1: me with this situation, and you can just turn your

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Speaker 1: head because it's not on me to conform to whatever

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00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:19,160
Speaker 1: your taboos about a boo bar. One of the most

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00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,320
Speaker 1: talked about benefits of breastfeeding is a bonding that happens

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Speaker 1: with your newborn. Do you, um, do you feel like

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Speaker 1: that's true? Yeah? I think I I, although I don't

331
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Speaker 1: know if it's very conscious because my first one, I

332
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:38,040
Speaker 1: guess I felt more sentimental about the breastfeeding. My second one.

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Speaker 1: She was like she was feral when she was born

334
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Speaker 1: and she's still and she was like at six months,

335
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 1: was like, I'm done, I'm too busy, I only want

336
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,560
Speaker 1: the bottle. I'm not interested in your boob. Sorry, not sorry.

337
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,840
Speaker 1: And I tried not to take it personally, but then

338
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 1: I realized she's an individual. This is the first decision

339
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,280
Speaker 1: she's made as a strong young woman. And I was like,

340
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna work around that. I'm not going to feel

341
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,200
Speaker 1: bad of like what am I doing wrong? She just

342
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 1: doesn't want the boob, That's fine, and so yeah, I

343
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,639
Speaker 1: just sort of let her be who she was, and

344
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 1: I pumped for the next I don't know, ten months

345
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,800
Speaker 1: or something. But here's what happened to me. Since I

346
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,440
Speaker 1: had a toddler who's two, and I had a baby

347
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 1: who was six months who wouldn't nurse. It is if

348
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,560
Speaker 1: you're exclusively pumping, it is hard to keep your supply

349
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 1: up because the baby does give you a level of

350
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:28,560
Speaker 1: oxytocin that gives you more milk. Yeah, so my toddler

351
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 1: was still very interested in having milk because she saw

352
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,679
Speaker 1: the baby do it. She knows it's bonding. She loves it.

353
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Speaker 1: She started nursing at night, so when my six month

354
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,720
Speaker 1: old was no longer nursing, my six month old would

355
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,200
Speaker 1: get a bottle at night and my toddler would nurse

356
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 1: from the boob. And it helped me keep my supply

357
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,720
Speaker 1: up because I had a human being giving me the

358
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 1: hormones I needed, and my toddler loved it. It was

359
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 1: like a reinvention of our bonding. You know what's really

360
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 1: weird about breastfeeding, you guys, It's a lot of its mental,

361
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:59,160
Speaker 1: which Kristen so lovingly taught me when we were first

362
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,800
Speaker 1: hanging out. Now be five weeks old, but there's so

363
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,680
Speaker 1: much about it that is like if you're pumping and

364
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 1: you're not, you know, producing a ton of milk, which

365
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 1: was my problem in the beginning, there's something about going

366
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,240
Speaker 1: to a mental place and like imagining babies crying that

367
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,080
Speaker 1: near you, or meditating and going to a peaceful place

368
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,680
Speaker 1: because stress is actually one of the number one killers

369
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,880
Speaker 1: of milk, Number one. If you're pumping, it's quite literally

370
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,520
Speaker 1: the only time you have to multitask. It's the only

371
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 1: if you have like a hands see how many emails

372
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:32,640
Speaker 1: I can send. But if you look down and you're

373
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,120
Speaker 1: only getting an ounce, You've got to close the computer.

374
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 1: You got to close the phone, close the computer. No,

375
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 1: it's you've got to close it and really focus on it.

376
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,160
Speaker 1: It's a little event every time that it happens. Yeah,

377
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 1: that was big for me because I used to do

378
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,239
Speaker 1: so many emails while pumping, and you were like, you

379
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,680
Speaker 1: have to just be like in a room by yourself,

380
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,159
Speaker 1: turn the phone off, really like meditating. It's kind of

381
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,640
Speaker 1: a gift to you from the baby. And also like

382
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 1: the hesitation about it, and I shouldn't do it in

383
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 1: front of I don't know people or whatever, like and

384
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,679
Speaker 1: if guys are around, Like in my head, I'm just

385
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 1: like why this is such? This is so asked backwards.

386
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,159
Speaker 1: We have the ability to do something that guys do not.

387
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,840
Speaker 1: We are not the ones that should feel ashamed, you know.

388
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 1: We're the ones that should feel super confident and like,

389
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: I have this very special ability. I'm going to have

390
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,280
Speaker 1: to do it now. Every time I bring Albie to

391
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 1: the pediatrician and he's like gained a pound. I've never

392
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 1: felt more proud of something in my entire affing life,

393
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,480
Speaker 1: Like it's crazy, like I'm just like, holy mackerel, this

394
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:35,440
Speaker 1: kid is growing and and I feel just grateful that

395
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 1: I'm able to breastfeed. I know it's not something that

396
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 1: comes easy or naturally. We'll get into it, but holy

397
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: you guys did not come easy or naturally for me.

398
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 1: It is a struggle. But and and and really, I

399
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,360
Speaker 1: like my personal opinion is like, hang in there if

400
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 1: you're having problems hanging there through as long as you

401
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,640
Speaker 1: think you can hang in there. And when if your

402
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 1: mind and body and heart and soul is telling you

403
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: this is too much for me, I can't do this

404
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 1: or I've hidden a breaking point than just to formula Yeah,

405
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,159
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with it. Oh my gosh, I was

406
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 1: formula fat. I think you said you were too. Another question,

407
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,399
Speaker 1: has did it change at all? And this might be

408
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 1: two personal, but um, how have you did it change

409
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,920
Speaker 1: as far as like your intimacy with your husband, how

410
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: you felt about your breast like while you were breastfeeding,

411
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 1: Like because I've just started, like I just got the

412
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 1: clearance from my doctor that it's all like okay to

413
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,719
Speaker 1: get back into Hay with my husband and I'm like, okay,

414
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,399
Speaker 1: so that's been happening, super scary. We'll also get to

415
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,959
Speaker 1: that into another episode. But like, I had to wear

416
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 1: a bra because I'm like, my boobs are like not

417
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 1: my own anymore, Like they're not They're not how they

418
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,719
Speaker 1: were in my twenties, were like these were just like

419
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 1: part of the sexual intimate experience. Like now they're just like,

420
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 1: let's just pretend they're not. They're they're my sons, and

421
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: they're also the feelings in them change so much. So

422
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 1: sometimes I would love it when he was very into

423
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: my boobs, and other times, like when they were very full,

424
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna have to wear a bra.

425
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 1: It's not that these are off limits, but they are

426
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: their own creatures. So the four of us are going

427
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,640
Speaker 1: to be having sex right now, you know what I mean.

428
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 1: And it just it sort of is what it is,

429
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 1: and it's all it's all individual. I slept in a bra.

430
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,879
Speaker 1: I slept in a bra for probably two years. I

431
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,400
Speaker 1: slept in everyone. And I was the chick who never

432
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: even wore bra in the day. Yeah, you guys, I

433
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 1: used to have small boobs. I was like a hippie,

434
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 1: no bra. So into it. Loved that. Look now it's

435
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 1: like I've slept in a bra for a year and

436
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: a half. My boobs are ginormous for me, which I

437
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 1: don't like that. I know. I loved it. I had

438
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: to get into it like you did. I just feel

439
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 1: like they're just like you. I went from a thirty

440
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: four A to a thirty six double D. Yeah, and

441
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 1: that is real for me. I'm five feet tall, and

442
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: I loved it. I was like, this is so cool

443
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: that I got in my life to have these boobs

444
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 1: that are up to my chin that I and sometimes

445
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 1: I would wear like a dress with when they were

446
00:21:56,359 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 1: really full, without a bra because they were so taught.

447
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 1: But you know, one thing we haven't talked about is

448
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 1: that early on, particularly when you just wake up in

449
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 1: the middle of the night and you're just sopping wet everywhere,

450
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: just waking up because you're if your boobs want to

451
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,679
Speaker 1: feed or your baby's crying and you don't get there

452
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: quick enough and they release and you just have like

453
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:22,359
Speaker 1: sprinklers on your chest. It is so weird, so weird,

454
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 1: like so weird, Like the whole thing is just totally primal.

455
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 1: I can't even believe our bodies are able to do this.

456
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:38,119
Speaker 1: I never even It's really just a fascinating, unbelievable I'm

457
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 1: a little bit worried. I want to I'm a little

458
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 1: bit worried when I stop. I'm a little bit worried.

459
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 1: I've heard there's another hormonal shift that can happen when

460
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 1: you stop breastfeeding. UM. But there's also good things that happen,

461
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 1: like when you're breastfeeding. My ob told me that you're

462
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: in a sort of pre menopausal state where your libido

463
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: can go down. Your um body has sort of shut

464
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: off in that way, UM, and that that could come back.

465
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 1: So that's a plus. But she has also learned me

466
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: to the fact that your hormones can drop again, and

467
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 1: some women get depressed that they won't be connecting if

468
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 1: they have found a great connection with their kid through breastfeeding,

469
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: that that might be something they miss. I think that's

470
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: all true. I did have a little bit of a

471
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: drop UM, and I think again, it's just it's like

472
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: a normal I'm just looking at the whole thing as

473
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: an And now you have such perspective on it because

474
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 1: your girls are like, well, you know, I'm so in

475
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 1: it right now. I just can't see it yet, you know,

476
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: I can't see I do miss it though it was

477
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 1: my very favorite part. It is my very favorite part.

478
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,919
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and I'm and I know how hard it

479
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: is and I know how um unique it is to

480
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 1: be able to do it without problems. I really do.

481
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 1: Because I didn't have problems. I mean, getting mess titis

482
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: three times is like, that's true, that's true. Yeah, I

483
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: didn't have crack nipples in the beginning. But let me

484
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: tell you that mass titis is no walk in the park.

485
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 1: Um But I I felt like it definitely gave me

486
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: more of a high and more of a calmness when

487
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,160
Speaker 1: I was breastfeeding. And when I dropped off, I didn't

488
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: get depressed, which I'm definitely prone to do so I

489
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: thought I would. I just got like two more irritable,

490
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: two percent less patient. And that was like at work,

491
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,360
Speaker 1: you know, when I was likewhere anywhere, when I was like, okay,

492
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 1: let's get the show on the road, and they'd be like, wow,

493
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,439
Speaker 1: what's her problem, And I'm like, oh, that's that's my

494
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 1: lack of breastfeeding hormones. That calmed me down. You know,

495
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: I did hear because breast milk is so amazing that

496
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 1: like I think it's in China and I will have

497
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 1: to look this up, but I think they like drink

498
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: it and sell it as like a cure all for

499
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: I am not like, I'm so my amazing nanny who

500
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with, and she's helping me raise my child

501
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: while I work on scandal, which is such a gift.

502
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 1: She literally takes some bags in my breast milk home

503
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: for her acne and stuff like that. They feel so

504
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: fortunate to be able to give her and make it

505
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,719
Speaker 1: loves I love her even more. I'm like, you can

506
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: have my breast. I put it on pimples and put

507
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: it in my eye. I put it cuts all over

508
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: the baby. I put it all over everything any busy

509
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 1: near drug and I have been told you guys for

510
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 1: my trips and things like that. First time I'll be

511
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: ever had a cold, she was like, instead of Saylene

512
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 1: drops put breastbreast milk always um, he had a clogged

513
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: I ducked. I put breast milk in his eyes. Like

514
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: breast milk really is. There are some properties about it

515
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 1: that I don't think people can even haven't been understand

516
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 1: why it's so healing. Might it got to the point

517
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: where like my sister was in the house and she'd

518
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: be chopping a vegetable and cut her finger and I

519
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: would just go come here, and she knew the drill,

520
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,120
Speaker 1: and I would lift my shirt up and I would

521
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: just squeeze milk right onto her directly, and she just

522
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 1: rub it into her cut and go back to doing

523
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 1: what she was doing. And it was literally healed forty

524
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: eight hours before it should have been. It was. It's crazy.

525
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: And by the way, my skin was really clear when

526
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 1: I was pregnant and breastfeeding, and then the minute I stopped.

527
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 1: That was one thing about the hormones. I went back to, like, oh, pimples,

528
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: I remember you because my hormones when they're at higher levels,

529
00:25:55,520 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: my skin is just much more clear. Yeah, so the mirror,

530
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: the miracle cures that it is. Breastfeeding is a big thing.

531
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that you were also scorting your

532
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: breast milk all over the world, because that's all I do.

533
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 1: And the other thing I want to say is, like,

534
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 1: so the one thing I was concerned about just from

535
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: a vanity perspective, and I it's like embarrassing to even

536
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 1: admit this, but like the main question I asked to

537
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: their moms is like how much weight did you gain

538
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: and when did you lose it? Because also we're on

539
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: camera for our livings. That kind of is vital. All

540
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 1: of my friends were like, oh, I don't know what

541
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 1: was this. It was that I realized I was just

542
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,199
Speaker 1: giving myself a comparison hangover to try to figure out

543
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: what it would be. I gained forty seven pounds for

544
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: each kid, and weirdly, I ate totally differently. I ate

545
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: no sugar, one kid, ate anything I wanted the other.

546
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 1: My body wanted to gain forty seven pounds. I realized

547
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: that's a lot. I realized, like a doctor would be

548
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: like slow down, but it's what my body wanted. And

549
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: then when I was breastfeeding the two years two and

550
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: a half years, I was breastfeeding like for both kids

551
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: um with a little break in the middle, I kept

552
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: on thirty of those pounds. I did not lose the

553
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,439
Speaker 1: thirty pounds that I to get back to my normal

554
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 1: weight till about three months after I stopped breastfeeding. And

555
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: that is very normal. Some women say the minute I

556
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: started breastfeeding, because the calories were coming out, I dropped

557
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 1: all my weight everything is normal. I kept thirty pounds

558
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: and you can see it, like there's pictures of me

559
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: and between you know, the two and a half years

560
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: I was breastfeeding, I'm thirty pounds heavier. I don't. I

561
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 1: never thought about it. It didn't occur to me. I

562
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: was so much more obsessed with the weight before I

563
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,439
Speaker 1: had the baby that when I couldn't drop it when

564
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: I was breastfeeding, I just couldn't. I was working out,

565
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 1: I just it could it couldn't be done. It stopped

566
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: mattering to me. And then when I stopped breastfeeding is

567
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: when I lost it. I'm like, there's two types of women.

568
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many more types of women, but

569
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: the ones the friends I have and are breastfeeding. Some

570
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: as soon as they start breastfeeding, because breastfeeding burns a

571
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: lot of calories in a day, and so for some women,

572
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: breastfeeding causes them to lose all the baby weight very quickly.

573
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 1: And some women, as you say, and I am one

574
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 1: of these, um, they hold on. They hold on to

575
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: like a good at storage where you're making milk, and

576
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: you just that actually that last ten or fifteen pounds

577
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 1: is very hard to lose. So I don't know. And

578
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 1: I've heard once you stop breastfeeding because I'm working out

579
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: too and I'm eating so great and all this stuff.

580
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: But I just have a lovely breastfeeding pad. But I

581
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 1: do agree with you that I literally don't care. You

582
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: cannot care. I don't know why or what happened since

583
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: becoming a mom, but I just I'm like, whatever, And

584
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: if you care, if you're listening to this and you care,

585
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: that's just no, it's not I can tell you right now,

586
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,919
Speaker 1: be confident you're beautiful. Stop caring. It's not worth it.

587
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: The last thing I'll say is I did. I did

588
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: feel like when I tried to get my weight under

589
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 1: control while I was breastfeeding and just eat salads and stuff,

590
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have enough milk. I had to have bagels

591
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: and right, breastfeeding needs carbohydrates and it needs and a

592
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: lot of people have noticed that if they do too

593
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 1: much cardio, their milk supply and I don't know if

594
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: that's me, but I'm definitely using it as excuse to

595
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,479
Speaker 1: not do cardio. So I haven't done cardio at all,

596
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: just because I'm telling myself I'm one of those people

597
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: that when I do cardio produce enough. There's some sort

598
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 1: of acid that can build up when you do a

599
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: lot of cardio that makes your milk like turn a

600
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: little bit and the baby will reject it. That's what

601
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: my bill told me. Also, later into breastfeeding, I found

602
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: out so yes, so you need carbs. You have to

603
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 1: have carbs. Don't deny yourself carbs. And by the way,

604
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: if you if you are just eating salads because you're

605
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: worried about your weight and you're also stressing because you're

606
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: not breastfeeding enough and you're not producing enough milk, take

607
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: personal responsibility and just start eating some bagels. Don't be

608
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: confused about both of those, and stay on the diet,

609
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: like or just drink that. I keep going for this

610
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: oatmeal stout beer, yes, which is also a big helper

611
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 1: and milk supply. I mean I literally I was like,

612
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: don't tell me that this is what's gonna get my

613
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: milk out. And I literally I accidentally ate a handful

614
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 1: of fenna gric from like the farmer's market because someone

615
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: was like, look at these little um sprouts. They smell

616
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: like maple syrup. And I was like, I'll tay a handful,

617
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: and like two hours later, I was like, oh my god,

618
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: my boods are so much, and I realized it was,

619
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: which is a huge help. And milk supply also, there's

620
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: there's amazing companies and teas out there that have a

621
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: bunch of herbal stuff that you can take for milk

622
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: supply um, and oatmeal, beer and bagelsum, which also helps

623
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: to my extra fifteen pounds in Christen's thirty that is

624
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 1: now gone. But look at you. Well now I just

625
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: run back, run after the toddlers, and it's like, no

626
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,719
Speaker 1: big deal, right right, But there was oh one thing

627
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: I wanted to say, another weird thing, and you would

628
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: we would have to ask my o bi and maybe

629
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,719
Speaker 1: you can like site whatever this is at the end

630
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: of the podcast. But so when I was doing Bad

631
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: Mom's one, which would mean that my daughter was um

632
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 1: like nine months. My youngest daughter was nine months, so

633
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: I was already just pumping exclusively, I noticed she was

634
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 1: rejecting it, and I and and I also noticed it's

635
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: kind of smelled funny, like like it was turned. And

636
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: I called my obie and she said, oh, yeah, you

637
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: might be maybe this is the running thing as well.

638
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: Producing too much of whatever this acid or hormone is

639
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 1: and it makes the milk taste sour. She said, the

640
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: way that you deal with it is you boil it.

641
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 1: So I would then, because I wasn't doing enough with

642
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 1: this goddamn pump all day, I would pump five times

643
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 1: a day. Then I would bring it home and I

644
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: would boil it to get whatever the ends time out exactly,

645
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: and then I would give it to her. So there, Look,

646
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: whatever problem you think you have, there is an answer

647
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 1: out there for it. Somebody has gone through it, because

648
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: like I was for three months in the middle, I

649
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: was boiling my milk every day after I pumped it.

650
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 1: If breastfeeding is something to you that is a huge priority,

651
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: and it is a priority. Like when I was really

652
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: freaked out in the beginning, I had a lactation expert

653
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: come to my house and say, look, this is a

654
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 1: full time job. Only you can decide if it's a

655
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: full time job you want to be taking right now,

656
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: because you have other full time jobs being this kid's mom, scandal,

657
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 1: whatever it is. She's like, breastfeeding is a huge commitment.

658
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: But I have been really really happy that I have

659
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: stuck with it so far. Um, but it's a huge commitment.

660
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: And you have to if you're gonna do it. You

661
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: you have so many avenues that you can go down

662
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: to seek help, to get support. There's like letch a leagues,

663
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: there's groups of you know, you can find groups of

664
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: other moms to talk to. You can I'm sure, get

665
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: a electation person on the phone for hopefully not that

666
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: much money, and we'll find sites for you guys to

667
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: be whatever weird thing is happening, It's happened to someone else.

668
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: That's one thing I take so everything with motherhood. Yeah,

669
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: I take so much comfort in that. And when I

670
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 1: first got pregnant and I was like, oh my god,

671
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant, is nervous, Like this is crazy. I just

672
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: kept reminding myself, like Christen, calm down, be humble. You

673
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: are not the first person to ever have a baby.

674
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: Every single thing that could happen good or bad with

675
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: breastfeeding or babies has happened before, which means there is

676
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: a human who knows how to deal with it and

677
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: you you just need to spread a wide net of

678
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: a support system. There will be someone to help you.

679
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen. Kristen Bell Genius Glorious Human Breastfeeding advocate.

680
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: I miss it so much. I do so much. I

681
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 1: told you the other day I was holding my girlfriends,

682
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to miss it, and you guys loved it.

683
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: I effing hated it, so like we're gonna go through

684
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 1: my turnaround on this whole thing, but like now, I

685
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: I you would. The crap that I went through to

686
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: be a successful breastfeeding mom um was so hard, and

687
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: to be on this side of it and actually say

688
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 1: that I like it and that, oh my gosh, I

689
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: might miss it, like it's so much. I miss it.

690
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: So when I was holding this two month old baby

691
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: and everybody else was out of the house and I

692
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: was like taking a nap with him, every he started rooting,

693
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: and the only thing that was going through my head

694
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: was like, how long will I be the weird one

695
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: in the friend group? If I let this baby just

696
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 1: soothe on my boob right now? He will Erica hate me?

697
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 1: Eric As the baby's mom, will Erica hate me? Will

698
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 1: she think this is gross? If my group of friends

699
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: finds out that I nurse this baby to keep it soothed,

700
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 1: how long will they make fun of me? Because I

701
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: really wanted to. I went through all these things. I

702
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: think they came home right before I made the decision

703
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: to pull my boob out. But I swear to God,

704
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 1: I was going to do it because you loved it.

705
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: Wet nurses exist, It's okay to nurse each other's babies,

706
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 1: and I want to nurse all the babies. I'm honestly

707
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: feeling like I'm having a letdown right now, and I

708
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: love it. My baby. You probably around you just smell it.

709
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on Katie's grip. Thanks

710
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: for having really I love Katie's script. Hi everybody, and

711
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: welcome my dear, dear, longtime friend and makeup artist Jamie Greenberg,

712
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: who is a mom of three guys. Count them one

713
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: to three and I've only had one and I can't

714
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 1: even imagine doing three. Um, and Jamie is here talking

715
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: about the awesome choices she has made to breastfeed not

716
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: to breastfeed her child. So take us through your kids,

717
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: how many you have, and you're your experience with preast meeting, okay, So,

718
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: and I won't get caught up too much. And by

719
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 1: the way, hi everybody, Hi, I don't get caught up

720
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 1: too much. And so the first one was, like, you know,

721
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: the most exciting, but you know this, and I'm I'm

722
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: like a lot of their but like my mom was

723
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 1: sick with cancer. Oh my god, it was like just

724
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: so heavy. Your mom was very, very sick with cancer

725
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: and you were very very pregnant and it was the

726
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 1: end of her life. Yes, And it was like this

727
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 1: weird like circle of life thing. And I had the

728
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:37,399
Speaker 1: baby and then the baby swallowed maconium, which is super normal. Guys,

729
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 1: those don't know, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes babies are distressed

730
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: in the birth canal and so they poop their first poop,

731
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:45,840
Speaker 1: which poop isn't called poop when it's your first poop,

732
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 1: it's called maconium, and the baby inhales it in the

733
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 1: birth canal, and it can be very scary and um

734
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: dangerous to the baby, traumatic because it's like a tary

735
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 1: substance sticky. So a lot of kids swallow a little bit.

736
00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 1: It's pretty normal. But my kid, you know, being the

737
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 1: being that she was, she had swallow. They had seen

738
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:07,359
Speaker 1: at cedars and a long collapsed Yeah yeah, I don't know.

739
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: You didn't know this, yes, her long collapse. And so

740
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 1: it was like, how did they know? Did they know

741
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: that in there or she came out coming out all

742
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 1: of a sudden, like ten people in my room. I'm like,

743
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 1: what guy, it's a learning hospital, but like this, and

744
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: literally they took her out, put her under the light.

745
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: There was a lot of commotion, and then everyone in

746
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: the room left. My doctor like delivered my placenta, and

747
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: then that he left, and then there was like a

748
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 1: man sweeping and I'm like, what's going on? Wait, so

749
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: the baby was taken away from you and yeah, and

750
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 1: it was did you know that was normal or abnormal?

751
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 1: I didn't know because it was my first time, and

752
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: I feel like it was just like in the I

753
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 1: was like in the moment, like what's going on? And

754
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,879
Speaker 1: I knew something was bad. You know, you'd get that

755
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: feeling something was bad, but I didn't know what it was.

756
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: And we just sat there for like two hours. No

757
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 1: one went to tell my parents what happened in the

758
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: waiting room, like nobody knew what was going on. The

759
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,760
Speaker 1: baby had been born, nothing and for forty eight hours

760
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: it was touch and go because they were trying to

761
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: war up. Yes, why I never told you this? Why

762
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: why I didn't tell you why? Because I was you

763
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: were going to try to have a baby. And you

764
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 1: were like, you're going to tell that and that's why

765
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: you're a good friend. Yeah, I would never tell that.

766
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: This is very scary. Yes, so literallys was touching go

767
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 1: whether or not she was going to live. Did not

768
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: see her for a full day. My husband. They took

769
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 1: him upstairs and made him do everything sign pa. He's like,

770
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. They're like, do you have to sign

771
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 1: the paper to do this for her to get this

772
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 1: breathing machine for this if we have to take her

773
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 1: medavac to did and he was like saw ghosts never

774
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 1: cried so hard with my husband, like we're both crying both.

775
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: He came down and told me the story. I'm stuck

776
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 1: in the room. I'm like, no one's telling me what's

777
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: going on. Then the next day when we woke up,

778
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: they were like, I was like, is she going to die?

779
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 1: And they're like it's gonna We're not sure what's going on.

780
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: We're trying to figure things out, but no one could

781
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: give me an answer, you know, because nobody knew so

782
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: they could get her on any of the breathing machines,

783
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: like it wasn't working, and I'm thinking, oh, this baby

784
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: is going to be fried, Like so she was in

785
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: the Nike for five weeks, and I was in the

786
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: Nike for five weeks, and so guess what I had

787
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: to do? Pump for five weeks? And did you I

788
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: pumped for five weeks. They're like the only thing you

789
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,360
Speaker 1: can do, and the only control I had was to pump,

790
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: you know what. It was the only thing that was

791
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 1: like connecting you to your for ten days, like just

792
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 1: went up to the first of all, she was a

793
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: goliath because she was in the Nike, and everyone in

794
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: the Nick is a premi. So she's like a full

795
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: term big baby. Greenberg makes big babies. My husband six six.

796
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: She's a big, tall husband. So I moved to the

797
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 1: sofa tel. So meanwhile, my mom's dying of cancer. She's like,

798
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 1: why can't anything go kidding me? My husband was like

799
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: on the path to do like directing. So he had

800
00:38:55,800 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 1: booked a national commercial for silk milk. Of course, try

801
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: to take it our business. You have to take it.

802
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: When that door comes knocking, you need that money. Was like,

803
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 1: you've got to get out of here. So he left

804
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 1: after he had he did the casting over Skype. Thank

805
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 1: god that existed. He was supposed to leave right after

806
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: the birth, but he stayed a couple of days when

807
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 1: we didn't know if it was gonna be a real

808
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 1: thing or not. And my mom like, you didn't know

809
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: if she was gonna live. Yeah, yes, So I'm speechless.

810
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 1: So then my mom my husband left and humping and like,

811
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 1: milk is coming in, Like so when I first started,

812
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: So they came in, they could put the machine on you,

813
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: like it was like colostrum, like barely anything came out,

814
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 1: and then stuff along is the first milk that ever

815
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: comes out of your you And it's not really like

816
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: milk yet. It's more like a really really thick, yellowish

817
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 1: white kind of cream. Yeah. They call it like liquid gold.

818
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:50,879
Speaker 1: And it's called liquid gold because it supposedly has all

819
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: the nutrients in it that the baby should need to

820
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,839
Speaker 1: live and survive until your milk comes in. It has

821
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: vitamins in it and and all that stuff. So were they

822
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,879
Speaker 1: rushing your colostrum milk up to her, yes, but they

823
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 1: still they were just collecting, right, and they were like,

824
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 1: this is the best thing you can do. And I

825
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 1: felt like it was the only thing I could get.

826
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: So you were like working that pump. So my mom

827
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: and I stayed at the Sophie Tell for about five

828
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: sheet in treatment at the same time. She was like

829
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: like she was like it was like bad. Like she

830
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 1: had had this thing stuck and put into her stomach

831
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,720
Speaker 1: before she came out because she the tumors had grown

832
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,839
Speaker 1: so much that she had trouble digesting and breathing and

833
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 1: eating and everything. So she needed like a valve to

834
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: kind of like release the pressure in her stomach. So

835
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: my mom was walking around with this bag and like

836
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: and a and a like tube and she would carry

837
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: a Lulu lemon bag because you could throw them away,

838
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 1: but they weren't like paper bags. So she was carrying

839
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 1: around this pump thing sticking out of the side of

840
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 1: her stomach and a lovely and a turban. I pumped

841
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 1: so much milk. I was so hormonal. I remember one

842
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: time I pumped and took it off and I spilled

843
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 1: the whole thing. And you would have thought so many died,

844
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 1: except that that's something I really shouldn't be saying it.

845
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 1: You can, but I can take it. It was like

846
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 1: she died and I freaked on her, and I freaked

847
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: on I got so I never have I was just

848
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 1: a lot of emotion, I think anyway, you think you're

849
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: sitting next to your kid and your mom is dying.

850
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 1: It was answer and just delivered a baby for the

851
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 1: first time ever. Your husband's awaiting. Actually you're allowed. You

852
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: really get to know yourself. But I remember I was

853
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: my friend, one of my best friends, Jamie, came to

854
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: stay and we would like camp out, tailgate, hang out

855
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: and then make you and then go back to this

856
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: all day and then go back to the sofa tail

857
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 1: and watch Jersey Short like three in the morning. I

858
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 1: watched every episode of that show, every episode of The

859
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: Jersey Shore. Shout out to the Jersey Shore. I love

860
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: you like that got me through like the darkest time.

861
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just need like every kind of mind number.

862
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 1: That was with Simon Garbage. Yeah you do serial the podcast,

863
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, great, great choice. Yeah.

864
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: I pumped, I pump, pump, pump, pump, pumped, and then

865
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 1: then they then they fed it to her and all

866
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 1: egid was pump. I was a cow. It was Pumped

867
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: City USA, and then did you make a lot I

868
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: made a lot um and it was great. The pump

869
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 1: was great. I remember on the flight then I had

870
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: then I was I got her out at a five weeks,

871
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: and they were like, your mom's gonna die. I was

872
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 1: like such a crossroads, Like so I had to take

873
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 1: a five week old and fly to Maryland and they

874
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,239
Speaker 1: didn't have a pump. Jet Blue didn't have anywhere to

875
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: plug in the pump, so I had to use a

876
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: hand pump. So I was like in the corner, like

877
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: jacking my own. Yeah, of course, like jacking off your

878
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: hand pump yourself. It's like you're jacking off your boob.

879
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: It's like your cow's utter, like how you would imagine

880
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 1: a farmer milking a cow. And you're like, which is

881
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 1: a very similar motion to jerking off? Is what you're

882
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: doing to your own boob. It's all the same, It's

883
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 1: all the same thing. So and then we got to

884
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: Maryland and I, you know, my mom was supposed to

885
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 1: die like the week we got there. And it was

886
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,720
Speaker 1: so weird because Lenny was still on an oxygen machine.

887
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 1: Were you able to breastfeed her at this point or no?

888
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,439
Speaker 1: So then the latch so then she wouldn't match because

889
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: I feel like she had been five weeks of bottles.

890
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 1: They say there's all these rules about like don't get

891
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 1: you know, if you're in the perfect situation. You don't

892
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: give them a bottle until they've really gotten the hang

893
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: of latching onto a nipple. Yes that's yours, because otherwise

894
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: you'll never get them back. So that was really frustrating,

895
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: and just being a first time mom. I just remember,

896
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,399
Speaker 1: besides the state of my mother, just as a human being,

897
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 1: I was so insecure as a first time mom with

898
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: like everything, Like I had no idea what was going on,

899
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:31,839
Speaker 1: and I had no one to like kind of like

900
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 1: chat with, you know what I mean. So I felt

901
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 1: like so lone. And even one of my mom's best

902
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: friends was a labor and delivery nurse and when I

903
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 1: told her that I was thinking about stop stopping the

904
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,439
Speaker 1: breast feeding and the pumping, she like shamed me. This

905
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: is a big thing. It's a big especially in l A,

906
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: but probably everywhere just like women and sadly nurses and

907
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 1: doctors shaming women into making a choice of like I'm

908
00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 1: done with this, this isn't for me, this isn't for

909
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: my family. Is just like really badly looked upon for

910
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: whatever reasons. It's crazy to me. It's so I wasn't

911
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,399
Speaker 1: a breastfed. I was a breakfet You you're rock star.

912
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 1: I'm a rock star. I mean, yes, okay, so you

913
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 1: told her? Did you quit during? I mean, so, first

914
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:16,879
Speaker 1: of all, the fact that you guys make milk under

915
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 1: this sort of stress and the pressure is insane. To

916
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 1: go to Maryland though, the milk started to like it

917
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 1: was really hard, and I was like a wreck. And

918
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: my husband's like, you're a wreck, Like, just stop with

919
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 1: the pumping, star. It's such a you know, the pumping,

920
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 1: with the cleaning and the thing. Oh my god, you guys,

921
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,840
Speaker 1: when you pump, you have to clean eighty seven hundred

922
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 1: pump parts in between every single time you feed, and

923
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 1: if you're feeding ten times a day, do you know

924
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 1: how many dishes that is to do? Oh to remove

925
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,440
Speaker 1: the laugh flap and then you and you don't know

926
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 1: where there's so many parts and it's very difficult, it is.

927
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:49,240
Speaker 1: And then you're like, I throw it in the microwave

928
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 1: to like demon it's always about disinfecting. Oh my god,

929
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: it got dropped on the floor. Blah blah blah. It's insane.

930
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: It was so I was just like probably the last

931
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 1: bit of stress you could possibly. I didn't take it anymore,

932
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 1: and like I just stopped. And so, how did you

933
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 1: stop it from coming out of your boobs. Because this

934
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 1: is what I'm curious about. Like when I was wrapped

935
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: it as tight as I could, I put with what

936
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:14,879
Speaker 1: bandage I wore sports bras. Cabbage was the last go around.

937
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: I hear this, people put cabbage on their boobs to

938
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 1: stop milk and the Similarly, if you're an overproducer, like

939
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,720
Speaker 1: you're someone that makes too much milk, um and it's painful,

940
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 1: you're supposed to like a regular cabbage, yes, straight up

941
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 1: like cold Gelson's like as is just like peel the

942
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 1: leaves off and stick them in your bra That's what

943
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 1: I did. And you smell like coast law Like it's

944
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: like like kind, I know, a little nibble here. Wow.

945
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 1: And so was it painful? You know? I don't I remember,

946
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: Like I felt like you kind of felt a little

947
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 1: feverish sometimes and then you would just take like a

948
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: title and all. Yeah. And but it was way less

949
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 1: um of a process that I thought it was gonna be. Also,

950
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 1: my boobs are the biggest boobs you've ever so you

951
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 1: do have. I've seen Jamie Broomberg's boobs and they were

952
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: impressively large. They were renting with her. I think they

953
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: were like, um, we're like four, like cripple g or

954
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 1: something back then. So I used to show everybody where

955
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,320
Speaker 1: were you when she was that so at about six weeks,

956
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 1: but I had a lot of milk or so she

957
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: had about two months of breast milk and that was

958
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 1: it with her. And what did you say to the

959
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 1: labor and delivery nurse when you were like, I'm wanting

960
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 1: to quit? Did you? She just that was the front

961
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: of your mom. She just didn't have like she was like, no,

962
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 1: breast monks the best thing. And I was like, okay,

963
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,359
Speaker 1: but I just felt like I was so stressed out

964
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,240
Speaker 1: just with my mom. And you know, it's like Jamie

965
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 1: there of course, but like I was in such a

966
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: just shitty state as like a human being. Like I

967
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 1: just was like everything was my life had been turned around.

968
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 1: Was like I had a baby, I had my mom,

969
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: and I was just like trying to your the basement

970
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 1: where Marlan. By the way, Jamie Riomberg has three children,

971
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: and her third is named Babe, which is the greatest

972
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: name for a girl I've ever met my entire life.

973
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: And Babe that was your mom's nickname. Yeah, they called

974
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 1: her babe because her name was Ruth. So, so Simon

975
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: is your boy? Sim into my little key's hair? Three? Yeah,

976
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: and did you breastfeed with him? So I did him.

977
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:20,359
Speaker 1: He latched in the hospital right away because I was like,

978
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 1: did you go into him his labor being like that pregnancy,

979
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,279
Speaker 1: being like, when Simon's here, I'm going to breastfeed him.

980
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

981
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 1: I kind of were on the fence. Yeah, but the

982
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 1: minute he came, he latched on right away, and I

983
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 1: was like, wow, like that's not was what happened to

984
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 1: plenty you always put in that position. And because this

985
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,399
Speaker 1: was like my first birth now, because that first one

986
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 1: was not normal, like none of them it was normal.

987
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,399
Speaker 1: And when I remember when I had him and then

988
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,839
Speaker 1: he like everything just when according to you have face

989
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 1: traumatic stress, like when you were having Simon that you

990
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 1: were worried. Oh my god, yes, and doctor Catch shout

991
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: out to Dr Coats, he will. I was like, everyone

992
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 1: knows to be there, you have to be there. I

993
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: will say this too. He would he would be in

994
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: the hospital every day. He would just come check on

995
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: on Lenny every day in the hospital, and he didn't

996
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: know if I was going to be there. But I

997
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 1: was there every day because I camped out. I knew

998
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 1: every story. I was like a caseworker, like I loved you. Yeah,

999
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,440
Speaker 1: we were like I was worried everybody. I'd bring in

1000
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 1: like sprinkles cupcakes, and but he came in every day.

1001
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 1: But okay, So with Simon, it was like a latched

1002
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,280
Speaker 1: immediately to do this. So then I started doing it.

1003
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:30,760
Speaker 1: It was great, and then I started like getting really

1004
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 1: like just like bloody, and I got mistited how many times,

1005
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,919
Speaker 1: like I felt like every time we'd have like three

1006
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: days of greatness and then it would get like gorge.

1007
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,439
Speaker 1: I can like feel it, and I was like, what

1008
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,439
Speaker 1: the funk? And then we went I went for six

1009
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 1: weeks and I was like, I just want to do

1010
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: three months. I just want to do three months. And

1011
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 1: my husband looked at me one day and you know you,

1012
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 1: like I was like I had a lot of milk.

1013
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 1: And every time I would go to like I'm like

1014
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna go to Whole Food

1015
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: and get smoothies just to get out, and I would

1016
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 1: just leak everywhere with pads and stuff. And then I

1017
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: would just so I kind of just stayed in my bed.

1018
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: I felt like job of the hut, like I never

1019
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: left and I became. I didn't become postpartum. Your house

1020
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 1: abound compressed, like just so sad, you know. And so

1021
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 1: I was like, then I decided to go back to her.

1022
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 1: You felt like you were a nursing jail, which is

1023
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: a real thing. That is I'm so glad we're going

1024
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 1: to have talked to her. But Linda Hannah, who I

1025
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: know you used, Yes, I called her and she was

1026
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: she gave me the best advice because again, everyone tells

1027
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 1: you have to breastfeed. There's not one person telling you

1028
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 1: can't breastfeed. That's why I'm talking to you. I love Linda,

1029
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 1: she said. She came into the house and we were trying,

1030
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: and she she was like, you do have big boobs.

1031
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, good, thank you, because nobody was.

1032
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 1: I was like, isn't it it's kind of hard like

1033
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,400
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, no, no, it's hard. And your

1034
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: nipples aren't like as they could be. You could try

1035
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 1: and nip my head inverted. Yeah, you had invert hell

1036
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 1: hell on Earth. But you know, she said to me,

1037
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: and maybe this has been something that she's learned since

1038
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 1: you and Simon. I don't know, but she came in

1039
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 1: and she said, if you want any prayer in hell

1040
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:11,439
Speaker 1: of doing this, you gotta get out of nursing jail.

1041
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 1: Because what I was doing was every single time I nursed,

1042
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: I would go into my kid's nursery, sit in this chair,

1043
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 1: not do it in front of anyone, being a dark

1044
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 1: room all by myself, a million times a day. And

1045
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 1: she was like, what do you think you're gonna be

1046
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 1: stuck in here for? Like, if you really want to

1047
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 1: do this, you gotta be on You've got to be

1048
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: able to do it while standing, You've got to be

1049
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 1: able to do it while laying down. You gotta do

1050
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 1: it covered, uncovered, out in a restaurant in front of people.

1051
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 1: It has to be a part of your life and

1052
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 1: not a big deal. Otherwise there's no prayer in hell

1053
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 1: doing it. And that's okay if you don't want, Like,

1054
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 1: if that's not for you, then that's not for you.

1055
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,799
Speaker 1: But if you really are gonna take this into a

1056
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 1: longer term thing than the first four weeks when you

1057
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: plan to just be home on maternity leave, and you

1058
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 1: really want to take this out into the world, you've

1059
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 1: gotta be able to do it anywhere, any time, under

1060
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 1: any circumstances. So I was a nursing jail and I

1061
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:01,839
Speaker 1: hated it. Same thing. So you were depressed in bed,

1062
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,360
Speaker 1: not really leaving the house because you were leaking everywhere,

1063
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 1: and every three days you would have you would have

1064
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:08,240
Speaker 1: good days and then there would be like a horrible

1065
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: day and it would be great. And then I'm like, oh,

1066
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: let me call her, and she came in. She helped me.

1067
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,479
Speaker 1: She showed me different ways to hold the baby, which

1068
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: was great, Like you could lie you could be super

1069
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 1: tired and have that baby lie on bed with you,

1070
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 1: which is great. So I had all these new tools

1071
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:22,800
Speaker 1: on how to do it better. And then your husband

1072
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 1: says to you. And then my husband says to me,

1073
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,399
Speaker 1: which is great because a lot of husbands they don't

1074
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 1: know and they're like, you have to breastfeed, and it's like,

1075
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:30,919
Speaker 1: you know, you're just saying that, you're being like everybody else.

1076
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 1: But my husband was like, stop breastfeeding, like stop it.

1077
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 1: You're going to be so much more yourself yourself. And

1078
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 1: I was like, because Jamie, you're very much someone to like.

1079
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 1: You are very active, like you're out and about you

1080
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,120
Speaker 1: do a million things in a day. You have a

1081
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 1: lot of friends, Like and I'm not saying that's like

1082
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,359
Speaker 1: four or against breastfeeding, but I mean, I can't even

1083
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: imagine you home in bed for like a long period

1084
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 1: of time. That's insane. I don't even Gemini like a

1085
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 1: typical gem and I would like split personalities, but like

1086
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 1: that was what I saw my other my other side,

1087
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:06,359
Speaker 1: Like I was like, I'm a sad little person. So

1088
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 1: he was like, and why do you think you listen

1089
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 1: to him? Or why do you think because I needed

1090
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: someone to throw me a lifeline, Like I needed somebody

1091
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 1: to just like said it was okay. And I'm like,

1092
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,399
Speaker 1: if my husband says it's okay, it's okay. There's such

1093
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 1: a stigma to it not being okay. I honestly think

1094
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 1: it's the only reason why I didn't quit. It was

1095
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: because I was like, like, I feel like you almost

1096
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 1: have to be more confident of a person. It's exactly

1097
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: that's to say that's not for me or I'm not

1098
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 1: doing that. You almost have to be. It wasn't very

1099
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 1: braver and more confident to do that, because it was

1100
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 1: the only thing standing between me and quitting was that

1101
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 1: I was going to feel embarrassed in a shame. You're

1102
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: still going. I'm still going. But I just think that's

1103
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 1: really brave of you. Like I just really think that

1104
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 1: for you to go around be like, no, this is

1105
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 1: how long I did. That's what I did. Done, yea,

1106
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 1: So Simon, I did that and when I was done,

1107
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 1: it literally was like a light switch of happiness, like

1108
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: all the happy juice that I am normally for you

1109
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 1: who cared? So the third one, you know, you, babe,

1110
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 1: I was like baby and getting the boob not for

1111
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,359
Speaker 1: a second, and you made that choice before you went

1112
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: into labor. Everything you knew you were not doing this, kid,

1113
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 1: And you know what it was. It was the evolution

1114
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 1: of me because I was kind of to go from

1115
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: Lenny to Simon to m babe and for you to

1116
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: grow right, seeing motherhood is so much about growing confident

1117
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 1: in your choices, thinking to your gun, I'm still such

1118
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 1: as in that way, I was like, oh should I

1119
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 1: take that class? Oh I need to do this, Should

1120
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 1: I sign up for that? Oh you're doing this? Oh

1121
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: I should be doing that to me right now the

1122
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 1: first time. So you sign up for everything, you drive

1123
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,359
Speaker 1: yourself in saying the kid has no fucking clue what's

1124
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 1: going on with anything. He just doesn't care. And it

1125
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 1: was just like and then by the third kid, you're

1126
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 1: just like, I know exactly what's best for me and

1127
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 1: for my baby. Thank you very much, thank you very much.

1128
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 1: And it's so when you told the nurses, Cedars, I'm

1129
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 1: not breastfeeding this kid after you got birth gave birth

1130
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 1: to her, which, now what happens when a lot of

1131
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 1: times in vaginal child birth, the baby comes out and

1132
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: they put the baby right on your chest to go

1133
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 1: find your nipple to suckle. Is that something that did

1134
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 1: or didn't happen? That breastfeeding wasn't in your plan. You

1135
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 1: just gave me the baby, held the baby, then took

1136
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 1: it and cleaned it, and they were like, are you

1137
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,399
Speaker 1: breast I feel like I was asked, like seventeen times

1138
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 1: you breastfeeding? Yeah? No, and there was like and were

1139
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 1: you proud? Every time he said now, I was like nope,

1140
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 1: because now I have the confidence and you're like, you're wrong,

1141
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 1: you know. And then when I remember being in the

1142
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 1: room and they wheel in the they wheel in the

1143
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 1: breast pump to have you started breath pumping the colossroom

1144
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 1: and I was like nope, and I put up my

1145
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 1: hand and she's like what and I was like no.

1146
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 1: And they start going into the spield and I'm like,

1147
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 1: this is my third kid, I'm not breastfeeding, and they

1148
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,479
Speaker 1: were like it was kind of like they were like, oh,

1149
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: we got you, like everything changed or when you said

1150
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 1: you have three kids. I was like, I felt like

1151
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,839
Speaker 1: I was bullied, like you you know, so the first

1152
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:09,879
Speaker 1: didn't count, the second I tried it, and the third

1153
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: I was like funck no. And then I have two

1154
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 1: friends that didn't didn't They both have two kids. They

1155
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: didn't breastfeed at all. They're very confident women that like

1156
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 1: don't care. I like, you have not care what people think.

1157
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 1: You have to not care what people think. And that's

1158
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 1: probably what a lesson in motherhood because it is really

1159
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 1: I have never been tested and I only have a

1160
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: three and a month old, so I don't see where

1161
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: this is going. But like, I just mean, even in

1162
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 1: history and a half months, I'm a people pleaser and

1163
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,360
Speaker 1: I need to care what people think. I can't believe

1164
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 1: how much motherhood calls upon yourself to just make decisions

1165
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:44,839
Speaker 1: and not care what people think and be proud of them.

1166
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 1: And I can't even imagine being in theaters and just

1167
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 1: telling them you're not breastfeeding because I was breastfeeding and

1168
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,239
Speaker 1: it was so pushed on me. Oh great, good, Yes,

1169
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 1: it's the best thing for them. But I'm like, I

1170
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,799
Speaker 1: mean even when I walk into my pediatricians office now

1171
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 1: with my kid, um, they'll be like, oh, this is

1172
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 1: an only breastfeed baby. Yeah yeah, And I'm like, who

1173
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: is really into breastfeeding? And she kind of gives me

1174
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 1: shit about it. And then every time her kid's sick,

1175
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:14,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, he's sick again. It hasn't been sick

1176
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 1: in six months. You know, it becomes like a whole thing,

1177
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 1: the whole thing. Were like, well, breastfeed babies are never sick.

1178
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 1: Not true. My kid was sick in the first week

1179
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:24,239
Speaker 1: of his life. The bottom line, I can honestly say,

1180
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:28,719
Speaker 1: the breastfeeding at this point like is I have to

1181
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 1: be very careful. I talked about this with my nanny

1182
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:34,719
Speaker 1: a lot, but like breastfeeding a lot right now is

1183
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: about me and my ego. Well that's what I was

1184
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:39,359
Speaker 1: going to say. So when I had Babe, there were

1185
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:43,280
Speaker 1: a couple of nights that my hormones were like, bitch,

1186
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 1: give her a boob, give her a boob. So I

1187
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 1: would give her the boob and I'd be sitting there

1188
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 1: like I didn't want to tell my husband. I was

1189
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,239
Speaker 1: literally a secret slipping the kitty and wasn't nothing was

1190
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,919
Speaker 1: coming out. I still have milk and you go wet

1191
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,799
Speaker 1: nurse your baby right now? Are you kidding? You're still

1192
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,360
Speaker 1: dried up? I'm still no way, there's still now. I

1193
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 1: don't know what to do, like cabbage or behind them

1194
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 1: this time too. Yeah. My doctor's like sometimes it just

1195
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 1: takes a long time for it to like go away.

1196
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, So I was giving a

1197
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 1: babe like I think I think maybe five times. I

1198
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 1: would secretly give it to her and then I would

1199
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 1: like slap my face and like snap out of it.

1200
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: You don't want this, you know, because I felt the

1201
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 1: voice was taking over my head being like you should

1202
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 1: really really give her a boom, and I'd be like,

1203
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: oh my god, who's saying that? Like in my mind,

1204
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: I was like, just like do you think that is

1205
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 1: like your womanly some sort of nature versus nurture? Like

1206
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 1: who is it is? It? Is it society telling you

1207
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 1: to do it or is it your body has It's

1208
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 1: like you you know, you're you're wearing this armor of

1209
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 1: like defending yourself all the time. And then you're like,

1210
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 1: maybe I shouldn't give her the boom. So I did

1211
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,080
Speaker 1: that a couple of times, and then I was like no,

1212
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: because I started to think about because she latched on

1213
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 1: right away too. And she's like an eater. I mean,

1214
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 1: she probably weighs more than Alby. She definitely does. She's like,

1215
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 1: I'll be is in the sixth person, but how much

1216
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 1: does he twelve and a half pun? Oh my god,

1217
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:07,400
Speaker 1: she weighs thirteen point seven and she's only two months.

1218
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 1: So but you have big babies, big babies, but she um, yeah.

1219
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 1: I mean, and I just felt like, has formula been

1220
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 1: so easy for you? Like, oh my everything compared to

1221
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 1: what's the first six weeks? What's amazing is that you're

1222
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: on this show, like you're on Katie's crib talking about

1223
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: that you've had the experience Otherwise, did the first six

1224
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:30,360
Speaker 1: weeks of babes life look so different to you as

1225
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 1: far as what was easier? And day that because my babies,

1226
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 1: you know, they wake up, they're hungry. This you can't

1227
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 1: get a schedule. I put I put Simon on a schedule.

1228
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 1: He was on a schedule, but it was really tough

1229
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 1: because sometimes they don't you don't know how much they eat.

1230
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:44,600
Speaker 1: And then it's like it's much easier when you're seeing

1231
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 1: how many ounces is they're getting in the day and

1232
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 1: so you know they're going to sleep at night because

1233
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: they've had the right amount of ounces in the day

1234
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,080
Speaker 1: where you know they're full. Yeah, and we had like

1235
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 1: the night breastfeeding. You're guessing I too, my nurses like

1236
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 1: did you eat well? I'm like, I think so. I

1237
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 1: mean I literally have no idea he drank two ounces

1238
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 1: or six have no idea because you could just be

1239
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 1: on there for ten minutes sucking and have a good

1240
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 1: time but not swallowing or exactly the whole thing. When

1241
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 1: you're like you're tickling their feet and blowing their ear

1242
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 1: to wake up, You're like, you're on the job. You've

1243
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,240
Speaker 1: got to eat. You know you're gonna wake up in

1244
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 1: two hours when I want to be sleeping. I do

1245
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:17,439
Speaker 1: have to say, though, like I go back and forth

1246
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 1: two ways, like one I don't I think I would

1247
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 1: have quit had I not felt the shame. But I

1248
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: also feel I also have never felt more proud of

1249
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: something in my life, mostly because I got through something

1250
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 1: that was very physically painful to me. Breastfeeding for me,

1251
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 1: was far more painful than labor by like leaps and bounds.

1252
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 1: So the fact that I I'm just probably I looked

1253
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 1: it in the face and I'm still doing it. But

1254
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 1: now it's like this whole thing like well, how long

1255
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 1: did you breast? How long did you breast? Yes? Yes,

1256
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:47,919
Speaker 1: And it's always a competition between mothers, and I think

1257
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 1: that and I think this is only gonna I think

1258
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: that breastfeeding is just a window into what the rest

1259
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 1: of it will look like. Just women are probably competitive

1260
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: with like well, every how are how old were they

1261
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 1: when they started to walk? What school? Oh he's still

1262
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 1: in diapers? Like whatever next thing is? It's preparing. I mean,

1263
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 1: I've got I'm not someone who partakes in any sort

1264
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 1: of like troll rebuttal or, but I've gotten in like

1265
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 1: a handful of like fights. There was a fight with

1266
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 1: a woman at my um that it wasn't about breastfeeding,

1267
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 1: that was actually about having a nanny. Yeah, but still

1268
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 1: these are you shaming me for working? And I got

1269
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 1: into a fight. We want to do an episode about

1270
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 1: working really it's another struggle. And then um, but then,

1271
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 1: I mean another good friend of mine was shaming me

1272
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 1: about the not breastfeeding and was horrified, and I was

1273
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 1: just like, it really did take me three babies to like, finally,

1274
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 1: I feel like I know myself so well. I've never

1275
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 1: heard you so yeah you wanted to ask you on this.

1276
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: I you were like you were just you knew exactly

1277
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: what the right thing was for you, and there was

1278
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 1: no It was great and it is great, and I'm

1279
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 1: so happy I did it. And she's been the easiest

1280
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 1: of all. My baby is she is. I just feel

1281
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,920
Speaker 1: and I feel like, who knows if it's just all

1282
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 1: coinciding with each other, like me being more confident, you know,

1283
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:11,360
Speaker 1: it probably is all a little a little of all,

1284
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: but like I just I don't know. I just I'm

1285
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 1: like so proud of myself for not doing it and

1286
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 1: just sticking to my guns and like just you know,

1287
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 1: and and I hope that there's women out there, like listen,

1288
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:25,360
Speaker 1: you could have had I read an article about this

1289
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 1: woman who had was getting shamed and she had breast

1290
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 1: cancer and couldn't and then she would tell them, and

1291
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, by the way, I had cancer.

1292
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 1: I can how do you feel now? You don't know

1293
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 1: what's going on in people's lives. You don't know if

1294
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 1: they're dealing with postpartum depression. You don't know if they

1295
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:43,040
Speaker 1: have other stressors going on where they can't produce milk.

1296
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 1: I know, someone would really been postpartum depression who was

1297
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 1: on really you know, made the choice not to breasting

1298
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 1: because she was on a so many drugs. Yeah, and

1299
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:53,600
Speaker 1: they're just it's it makes things I think some women,

1300
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 1: Like for me, I became depressed breastfeeding, so it wasn't

1301
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 1: helping me. And the bottom line is if I can

1302
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 1: present myself to my child with they're very susceptible to energy.

1303
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 1: So if I don't have fabulous energy around my new baby,

1304
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:12,720
Speaker 1: that is a problem problem. So why don't I not

1305
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:16,920
Speaker 1: breastfeed and be the happiest little energizer bunny that I

1306
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 1: am and just like give that baby some love now

1307
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:22,439
Speaker 1: that's all. She's still two bottles in the night, Yeah,

1308
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 1: she's literally all the night nurses that came in were like,

1309
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: this is the easiest baby. She gets fed at ten thirty,

1310
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 1: three thirty and seven, So they would only feed her

1311
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 1: at three thirty. My god, she's almost bigger. The night

1312
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:36,840
Speaker 1: she pretty much is. Yeah, the other nights she had

1313
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:38,600
Speaker 1: to stretched to five fifteen, and I was like, oh,

1314
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:42,200
Speaker 1: usually two months. But that's what I'm saying. The champion

1315
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 1: for which formula are using. So that's a whole other thing.

1316
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 1: I'm getting the goat milk from Denmark. What a simla.

1317
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:53,560
Speaker 1: I love the Women's organic. Yeah, I love you that.

1318
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:55,760
Speaker 1: I have another friend that uses that. She loves that.

1319
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,560
Speaker 1: That was that they didn't have that one n congests.

1320
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 1: I think she does. I'll ask which all like organic,

1321
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 1: Earth's best from foods, Like, there's so many options. In

1322
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 1: fifteen years, your kids are going to be shoving cocaine

1323
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 1: and we eat up their and you're gonna be like,

1324
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 1: but I got in the German formula. It's like no,

1325
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:14,720
Speaker 1: and I love it a lot of women. It's kind

1326
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:17,640
Speaker 1: of like, you know, like what is in formula that

1327
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,520
Speaker 1: makes it good of it? It's in vitamins. Like I

1328
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:22,760
Speaker 1: just don't have an idea. I mean, that's another scary thing.

1329
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:24,520
Speaker 1: I have no idea what I'm pumping into my baby,

1330
01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:28,600
Speaker 1: but it's working well. Whatever, Like did I eat like

1331
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 1: like I had, I had a fruit roll up foot

1332
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 1: long daily for good ten years as well as a

1333
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 1: kudos barring Come on, I mean I still eat oreos

1334
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 1: by the reg I don't. That's what I'm saying. Like

1335
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 1: you look at your baby and you treat this baby

1336
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,240
Speaker 1: so well, It's like, why don't we do that with ourselves?

1337
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 1: Like it's always like I know this one mom who

1338
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 1: like flew in the goat milk and she was like

1339
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 1: a chain smoker, you know, And I'm like I love this,

1340
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 1: Like I just love the dichotomy and like this the motherhood.

1341
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 1: It's just it's the hippocrisy of everything. It's like I'm

1342
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,520
Speaker 1: honestly really scared right now to like stop breast, Like

1343
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:05,240
Speaker 1: I don't know whether that is going to be for me.

1344
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 1: It's very hard because it's more I love it and

1345
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:11,600
Speaker 1: now I'm emotionally attached to it, and now my eager

1346
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 1: is attached to it because I'm proud that I do

1347
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 1: it and I'm proud that I made it through and

1348
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 1: I'm proud that it Like now that I've made it here,

1349
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:21,080
Speaker 1: it's also gotten easier, Like it doesn't take thirty minutes

1350
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,160
Speaker 1: and now it takes twelve you got it down, and

1351
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,480
Speaker 1: I also have become slightly addicted to It's the only

1352
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 1: time in my day where I stop, especially when I'm

1353
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,080
Speaker 1: on things like that. It's like, excuse me, I have

1354
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:34,160
Speaker 1: to go breastfeed feed my kid because it's the time

1355
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:35,880
Speaker 1: where I get to see him if I'm working, and

1356
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 1: I get to connect to him, which I'm going to

1357
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:40,720
Speaker 1: have to find a way to do that when I'm

1358
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 1: not breastfeeding. I just like, what am I going to know?

1359
01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 1: Is he going to tell me? Am I going to decide?

1360
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:47,600
Speaker 1: I go to New York next week, I'm leaving him alone,

1361
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 1: like I is he gonna be done with it? Then? No,

1362
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:51,439
Speaker 1: you'll see and he might. And a lot of times

1363
01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 1: kids tell you they don't want it, and it's what

1364
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 1: I've heard, You'll you'll see and when the time is right,

1365
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 1: and maybe you'll have a little depression after you That's

1366
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,880
Speaker 1: what I've heard. A lot of women hormones drop off

1367
01:04:59,880 --> 01:05:01,880
Speaker 1: the again, of course because you feel that or you

1368
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 1: just felt totally. My friend who after three days the best,

1369
01:05:08,640 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 1: so my friend Becky also she stopped breastfeeding it six weeks.

1370
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:16,920
Speaker 1: She ran through the streets, inns and harmony like getting

1371
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,520
Speaker 1: out of this house, Like, please let someone else be

1372
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:21,640
Speaker 1: responsible for feeding my kid. I don't want to do

1373
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 1: this on my own anymore. I would do other things

1374
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:26,760
Speaker 1: and leave the house and be a great mom. And

1375
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:29,280
Speaker 1: when I leave the house, I'm a better mom when

1376
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:30,800
Speaker 1: I'm home, you know what I mean. Like she had

1377
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 1: that whole thing going on, but I think it's really

1378
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 1: and I just wish women would unite and just like

1379
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:40,920
Speaker 1: just respect everybody's struggle. It's just like we don't criticize.

1380
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess we do. What am I saying?

1381
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:46,320
Speaker 1: Reality television and an all time high, but like we

1382
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 1: totally judge everything that everybody does, that everybody wears, what

1383
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:52,360
Speaker 1: everybody buys, what everybody eats, what everybody you know, it's

1384
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 1: just like just mind your business and like we're all

1385
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:58,120
Speaker 1: doing our best. That's the bottom line. We are all

1386
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:01,760
Speaker 1: doing our best. And when you're a mother of worries, yeah,

1387
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: just like you know, you've got to make it work.

1388
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,560
Speaker 1: If you decide that breastfeeding is not the choice for you,

1389
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:09,280
Speaker 1: how and you're giving them a bottle and you are

1390
01:06:09,320 --> 01:06:11,720
Speaker 1: a person who's breastfed and bottle fed, do you feel

1391
01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 1: that same, Like is there a bond or connection in

1392
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 1: breastfeeding that you feel as missing and bottle feeding or

1393
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 1: do you still feel like I still feel like because

1394
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:20,840
Speaker 1: you're still sitting there with the baby. I mean, if

1395
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 1: you want, you could take off your shirt and take

1396
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,560
Speaker 1: off their clothes and have that skin to skin, which

1397
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:26,080
Speaker 1: I think is nice. But like with Lenny, I never

1398
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:27,800
Speaker 1: got to do the skin to skin. They're like so

1399
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,920
Speaker 1: she was for the first couple of days, you know,

1400
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:31,600
Speaker 1: And it's like, if you adopt a child, you don't

1401
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:33,920
Speaker 1: get that, and you might you can't breastfeed if you

1402
01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:35,920
Speaker 1: adopt a child. Like, there's so many things that like,

1403
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 1: there's no like one rule. So I felt like every

1404
01:06:38,720 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 1: time I'm a little I mean even now at three

1405
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:42,440
Speaker 1: thirty in the morning when I'm feeding her about it,

1406
01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 1: all I do is stare at her. I'm so present.

1407
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,000
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that choice. It was never as present

1408
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 1: with the other two. This one, I breathe every breath

1409
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:52,920
Speaker 1: she takes. I am so in love with her. I

1410
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,240
Speaker 1: never had that feeling when I had the other two.

1411
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:56,600
Speaker 1: I was like, it took me a while to get

1412
01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:58,960
Speaker 1: to know who they were. This one the minute it

1413
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,400
Speaker 1: came out eyes, I'm like a bit how you do

1414
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:03,880
Speaker 1: and the way I love to hear them Because I

1415
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:09,360
Speaker 1: wasn't connected to act year. Simon took me like six months.

1416
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,880
Speaker 1: I had like rates of like until the lightning hit

1417
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:16,280
Speaker 1: where I was like, oh, I love you and I

1418
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:18,880
Speaker 1: knew I loved him somewhere like I don't want to say,

1419
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:20,400
Speaker 1: but it was the first six weeks I was like,

1420
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,040
Speaker 1: who is this stranger in my house? And what have

1421
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 1: you done with my life? Like this how I felt,

1422
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,120
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I was like, oh no,

1423
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 1: I love you more than anything I've loved anything in

1424
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:30,960
Speaker 1: my entire life, and now I'm in trouble because if

1425
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:33,400
Speaker 1: anything ever happens to you, I'm not going to and

1426
01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:38,480
Speaker 1: my happiness lies in you. Yeah. So I think nightmare

1427
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:41,520
Speaker 1: like the bonding is when you're changing them, when you're

1428
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:44,640
Speaker 1: bathing them, when you're beaving the battle, anytime I'm one

1429
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:46,880
Speaker 1: on one with her, even now with the tummy time.

1430
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:48,680
Speaker 1: So you feel so connected to her and you didn't

1431
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 1: at all, so connect, more connected than my own. Yeah.

1432
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:53,720
Speaker 1: But I think it has a lot to do with

1433
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:56,320
Speaker 1: me too, and just having the confidence in myself because

1434
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:58,640
Speaker 1: I'm also a people pleaser and like my whole and

1435
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:01,960
Speaker 1: I find I feel this has changed me in my

1436
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 1: whole life, like just being able to like put my

1437
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:08,600
Speaker 1: foot down for something and not like just crumble under

1438
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:12,200
Speaker 1: the pressure. You know. Thank you so much, my God,

1439
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:18,200
Speaker 1: so women everywhere and families, thank you, thank you, thank you.

1440
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:26,479
Speaker 1: From Katie's Crib I love Kati's The breastfeeding journey isn't over, guys.

1441
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:30,200
Speaker 1: We have a whole other episode dedicated to breastfeeding where

1442
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: we're going to talk to Lynda Hannah who is a

1443
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:37,800
Speaker 1: lactation expert and consultant and literally saved my boobs. So

1444
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:53,639
Speaker 1: let's get ready for the next episode of Katie's Crib Track.