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Speaker 1: Oh, welcome back to another episode of Alchemys COVID Night Edition.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin, Kevinollwood that I do believe it shot, yes,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're climbing for walking on the beach, because

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Speaker 1: you know what, Sam between my toes, Nana, I don't

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Speaker 1: care for it. Torture, but I digress. Let's meet an

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Speaker 1: Archemi Shallery no particular order. Please say good afternoon to

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Speaker 1: Vanessa rack Niche. Hi, how is your Valentine Day? It

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Speaker 1: was so good and so sweet and lovely. We got

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Speaker 1: a pinata, the kids beat the panada and got candy

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Speaker 1: out of it. Very fun. We had made cards to

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Speaker 1: send to some of our friends and family. And I

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Speaker 1: love a day to just be real nice to everybody,

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Speaker 1: and so we did that all day and it was

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Speaker 1: real fun and sweet. Sounds perfect. Uh. Speaking of which,

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Speaker 1: there's James Heeney, Johnny, Jim, how much coffee have you

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Speaker 1: honestly consumed thus far today? Uh? Well, not that much?

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Speaker 1: Um is not that much to cups of coffee? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Sixty that was so we're gonna go with sixty four

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Speaker 1: ounces to win. Uh and and again the preface the

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Speaker 1: qualifier being, well, not that much well, actually, it turns out,

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Speaker 1: now that I said it out loud, it's the same

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Speaker 1: amount as always. So I thought it feels like less. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I can dig it. Uh. And now Craig

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Speaker 1: Kowski with his pandemic recovery predictionscow, thank you, Kevin. I'm

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Speaker 1: here at the scene of the pandemic. I e the world. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I am currently in Australia. People are walking about, hugging, kissing,

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Speaker 1: enjoying restaurant meals. What is happening? They're just walking about.

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Speaker 1: They're not actually on a walk about. Some of them

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Speaker 1: are on a walk about. Great, it seems to be

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Speaker 1: there seems to be no pandemic here in Australia. Hey,

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Speaker 1: there's Chris Alvarado. Too much man for most I'm a

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Speaker 1: favorite film you've seen recently. Okay, So I'm a part

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Speaker 1: of a movie club called called the christ Verado Movie Club. Um.

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen a lot of movies in my life,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, so a lot of this stuff is

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Speaker 1: new for me. But I just saw a movie called

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Speaker 1: Blue Velvet. It's a David Lynch movie. I had heard

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Speaker 1: like the name David Lynch my whole life and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was wonderful. I thought it was wonderful.

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Speaker 1: I loved how weird and dark it was. I just

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Speaker 1: so Yeah, Blue Velvet really liked it. Yeah, that is

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Speaker 1: a unique, one of a kind most and picture experience. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and uhs, but oddly sweet halitosis for you if you

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Speaker 1: think at least it's Joey Greer, some young punk what

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Speaker 1: happens when you die? Number one? I ain't dying, baby,

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Speaker 1: That's a fact. I have definitely tapped into some kind

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Speaker 1: of immortal presence. I feel it enshrouded me. I know

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Speaker 1: it protects me. I've put myself on the line in

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Speaker 1: many ways, not just financially but physically, and I've always

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Speaker 1: come out on top. I mean, I'm sitting pretty and

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Speaker 1: I know for a factor everyone just thinking that's bullshit.

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Speaker 1: You're a fucking liar, You're a piece of fucking trash ship.

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Speaker 1: But it's it's legit, it's legit. I mean, let's put

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Speaker 1: it this way. When when's the last time you really

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Speaker 1: thought about Denham? That's all I'm want to say. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for leaving it there. Okay. All of our scene

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Speaker 1: suggestions are gathered from your listener emails or from our

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Speaker 1: patroon v i P s have become a patron support

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Speaker 1: of the show and a joy exclusive content and other perks.

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Speaker 1: Just head on over to patreon dot com slash out

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Speaker 1: of me this. If you'd like this to meet a

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Speaker 1: scene suggestion by email, please right to the podcast at

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Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your

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Speaker 1: name here a scene one comes from. Oh this is

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Speaker 1: a brand spanking new newest Patreon Alcamaniac, longtime, longtime v

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Speaker 1: i P just stepped it up and blowing minds. David

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Speaker 1: Roger everybody welcoming back. David wrote, Hey, gorgeous, Just wanted

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Speaker 1: to say thanks again for bringing additional joy into these

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Speaker 1: frozen Midwest days. Sorry wrong patroon scene suggestion from real

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Speaker 1: life experience people working on in on a bike shop

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Speaker 1: or any retail shop who are way overqualified example electrical

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Speaker 1: engineer making ten dollars an hour pumping air and attires. Hey,

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Speaker 1: thanks for that. I love all of you. Still want

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Speaker 1: to touch Craig David from Southern Illinois out. So. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what the problem is. UM I think it

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Speaker 1: might be a chain issue. I don't I don't know

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Speaker 1: a hundred percent, but it's just do you think it's

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Speaker 1: a chain issue. Sorry, I just hear some kind of

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Speaker 1: I hear like a NOI like a chain noise while

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Speaker 1: I'm peddling, right, And that's it. I guess I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've got a technician here, quite frankly who's

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Speaker 1: gonna look into this, and I just want to give

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Speaker 1: him and or her as much information as possible. Do

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Speaker 1: you know who the technician is or do I know? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we do. And I can't tell you which one is

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Speaker 1: going to be next. Oh, I'll get you. I just

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Speaker 1: like to give them as much information as possible. Certain

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Speaker 1: right now, I'm just hearing I think it may be

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Speaker 1: a chain issue from someone who clearly doesn't know what

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Speaker 1: they're talking about. Yeah, you're telling me, I am telling uh,

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Speaker 1: you be you you don't know? You don't you know

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Speaker 1: what's crazy. I don't know what I'm telling you this.

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Speaker 1: I just got a job. I'm running, Um, I'm running

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Speaker 1: all these the computer software for for for bell am

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Speaker 1: and all right, look, I know this is really heavy

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Speaker 1: breakroom talk, but Derek, did I just read that you

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Speaker 1: split an atom yesterday? Did I just read that in

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Speaker 1: the paper this morning? Derek? Did I did? I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I had my headphones in. What wait was

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Speaker 1: Liam answering for Derek? Why don't think I just saw

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Speaker 1: Tom somewhere. Okay, Liam, your headphones in, but I was

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Speaker 1: talking to Actually I had my headphones in and everybody

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Speaker 1: was just stunned. So I took my head from you.

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Speaker 1: You had you both had your headphones in. Uh, this

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Speaker 1: is just right. This is my time. I'm not supposed

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Speaker 1: to have to deal with anybody else during my time.

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Speaker 1: But my headphones back. Yeah, Marvin, you were saying, where

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Speaker 1: what was that? What were you saying? This is just

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Speaker 1: like what I don't know what I was saying? Assholes?

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Speaker 1: Listening up. We got a bike coming in here, all right,

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Speaker 1: I need some help fixing it up. You understand. Not

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Speaker 1: the problems. What are the problems with the bike? Maybe

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Speaker 1: I can I don't know something with the chain. The

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Speaker 1: owner came in and said it made a little sound

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Speaker 1: it Yeah, mountain bike, six speeds, it's here. I'm not

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Speaker 1: let's get out when we have Liam do it all right?

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Speaker 1: That's fine with me, Liam, Liam in Liam, I'm sleeping

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Speaker 1: with your wife. Freak. You gotta bike. It needs to

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Speaker 1: get fixed, right, I'm break. This is a California. I

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Speaker 1: guess else. You get a break every six hours. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to take a break, you know, I'm gonna throw

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Speaker 1: this up there. We have about ten customers a day

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Speaker 1: on average, and we have six technicians standing by at

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Speaker 1: all time. I mean, part of the reason I left

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Speaker 1: the science laboratories because I wanted to have a less

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Speaker 1: stressful job. I can't even finish a crossword puzzle. Fine,

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Speaker 1: I'll go take a look at the bike. It's kind

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Speaker 1: a really bad attitude. Yeah, I don't have my headphones.

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Speaker 1: Didn't I didn't think you did. I can't complain about

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Speaker 1: the salary or the bit off it, that's for sure. Oh,

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Speaker 1: absolutely not. Marvin didn't get a recent payhank well to

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Speaker 1: make six figures as a bike technician at a small

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Speaker 1: town bike shop where where I you know, I advised

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Speaker 1: maybe two customers a week. I mean it could be

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Speaker 1: because you came over from NASA. That's right. I was

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Speaker 1: a NASA for a while. Yeah, the challenger that was me. So,

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is a jail seat here, so this

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Speaker 1: is gonna really contour to you right there. But if

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Speaker 1: you want something that's gonna mold to your buttocks, you might. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so this right here, this is gonna be. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to put in your mouth trying to put it there.

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Speaker 1: This is gonna I thought you were gesture information to

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Speaker 1: two on it. I'm sorry, I've been all my time

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Speaker 1: around do so pick up on the Well look at this?

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Speaker 1: Is this the young lady that needs help with her bike? Liam?

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Speaker 1: Are you trying to poach myself? I'm sorry. I was

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Speaker 1: just told that I had to leave my breaking up

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Speaker 1: somebody with a bike right back? Oh gad, you won't okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll just all touch nothing. Liam, What the fun are

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Speaker 1: you doing? Your technis now? Coss, I don't know. Just

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Speaker 1: you have a problem with the bike? I just I

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Speaker 1: was what do you think I'm trying to sell a

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Speaker 1: sea man? All right? Well, well maybe afterwards center my way?

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Speaker 1: All right, maybe maybe I can help tune up the bike.

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Speaker 1: I'd say, stay off of his terror. So we've got

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Speaker 1: six technicians and twenty sales people at this shop. Never

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Speaker 1: the tray of twain shell me. Oh, I'm sorry. Someone

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Speaker 1: someone hasn't helped you? Is that right? Anything? And I

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Speaker 1: did that for a second, but god, I don't think

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Speaker 1: I did any damage. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You were left alone for so long. Now

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Speaker 1: I was copping alone for so long. That was nothing.

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Speaker 1: Let me help you, Let me help you with that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: what are you looking for exactly? I want to be

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Speaker 1: able to sit on my box without the pole growing

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Speaker 1: on my asshole. Okay, right now, I got a box,

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Speaker 1: but I don't like a pole. Okay, And I was

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Speaker 1: rot It's always uncomfortable, tell the truth. But the man

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Speaker 1: going to complaint because I got a box. Anyway. The

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Speaker 1: other day, I'm riding and then it's really digging into me,

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Speaker 1: and some guys says, why do you get a seat

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Speaker 1: for that thing? And I thought, well that that's not

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Speaker 1: a boat idea. So I always driven past this place there.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, are you kidding me? You son of

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Speaker 1: a bitch? Where's my bike? Oh? I'm talking to you, Sneve.

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Speaker 1: Where the hell is? I don't know. I think that

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Speaker 1: some mistaken identity. I'm not you, my goddamn porch. You

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Speaker 1: ripped the seat off and let me. I just have

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Speaker 1: a question. If you're a horror when you raise your hand,

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Speaker 1: my hands, you got your arm dropping, dumb horror. Uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can I help you. Uh, ma'am, your hands are raised.

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Speaker 1: Did you need some help? Oh no, I'm sorry about that.

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Speaker 1: My hands just can't put down. But actually I did

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Speaker 1: want to talk to somebody. You are a handsome salesman.

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Speaker 1: Uh so, so what can I help you with? You

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Speaker 1: don't have to meet me. I can't put my hands dound.

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Speaker 1: You just saying, do not stop half five of me.

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Speaker 1: I can't put my hands down. I'm just gonna find

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna find somebody else. Thank you, No, no, don't

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Speaker 1: leave me, please, I need this down a hole. This

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Speaker 1: man just fled out a hole. Oh my god, there's

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Speaker 1: just a hole here in the middle of this goddamn sears.

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Speaker 1: What the hell? Well, if we could get the town

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Speaker 1: council meetings started now, sorry, ma'am, all questions we're gonna

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Speaker 1: hold till the till the end. Okay, can't come down.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, my hands can't come down. Okay. We have

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Speaker 1: a half hour allotted for questions at the end of

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Speaker 1: the meeting. But I do have a lot of bullet

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Speaker 1: points that I want to get through first. So if

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Speaker 1: you could just put your hands down, we can. We

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Speaker 1: all have a lot of bullet points. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why you have to talk about your bullet points. Okay, Miranda,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get through my bullet points that we're gonna

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Speaker 1: go through your bullets. Okay, somebody's got to help us

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Speaker 1: kill this giant. Do we have any volunteers? You miss?

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Shot, Go go go. Oh yeah

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Speaker 1: you are go get it, darling, idiot, dumb make her come.

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Speaker 1: We need everybody to put their hands down on the

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Speaker 1: roller coaster because when we start going, there's some of

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Speaker 1: it just we coaster. Jim, thanks for coming into my office.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry and my understanding as you haven't been working

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Speaker 1: at the park for more than seven days and I

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Speaker 1: usually have my friends call me James. Okay, j was

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Speaker 1: you were overheard earlier today telling folks as they got

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Speaker 1: on board the roller coaster to keep their hands down,

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Speaker 1: hands and feet inside the roller coaster inside. You're familiar

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Speaker 1: with the roller coaster tradition of people putting their hands

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Speaker 1: up and to help the experience. We're just reopening the

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Speaker 1: park because of the fucking COVID, so I need you

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Speaker 1: to be on board with happiness and positivity for each

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Speaker 1: and every person that enters the park. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I guess I kind of like you said, I'm a

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Speaker 1: new guy. But when I see the sign at the

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Speaker 1: front that says keep all hands and feet inside the

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Speaker 1: coaster at all time, So I'm just a safety stickler.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I could jump in Brandon, James, please do too,

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Speaker 1: because it says right here on this sign, I'm the

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Speaker 1: new guy. But and then there's a line through. What

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Speaker 1: go ahead. I'm Tim from Tim Horton's I'm one of

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Speaker 1: the major just here I was in the middle of it.

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Speaker 1: I'm one of the major investors. You talk a lot

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Speaker 1: for a guy who's knew. Excellent point that I'm straight Timmy. Look, James,

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Speaker 1: I like you, but we need to make money, all right.

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Speaker 1: And if a couple of people get hurt, a couple

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Speaker 1: of people die, a couple of people go missing, so

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Speaker 1: be it. Look, how do you think cement tunnel? Okay,

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Speaker 1: that lady's hands are the equivalent of like pastrami hot dogs.

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Speaker 1: Now that wasn't down you're thinking, James, a pastrami dog.

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Speaker 1: Oh hey there, buddy, that whole no puny humans, This

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Speaker 1: is my forest. What makes you think you can shut wait?

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Speaker 1: You have a question, have a question? Arm down? Oh here,

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Speaker 1: we go all about that. You know you can't put

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Speaker 1: your like, you can't put your like. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: now this is a little heavy for breakroom talk. But Derek,

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Speaker 1: did you split an atom again? Is that two days

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Speaker 1: in a row? You split atoms? Split an adam with me?

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Speaker 1: For lunch? I had half an atom. I'm on a

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Speaker 1: die Hm cool, cool, cool. I just love this breakroom talking.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean? You know what I did.

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Speaker 1: My name is Liam, What are you talking about it?

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Wellam talks every time

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Speaker 1: I talk. My name is Marvin. By the way, we

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Speaker 1: breaks over mind the room if we're doing. Listen up,

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Speaker 1: listen up. We got a new bike going right? Do

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Speaker 1: ask like that? A board licensed psychologist? Oh? Is that so? Well?

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Speaker 1: Guess what? I'm the shop managers. You gotta listen to

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Speaker 1: what I say. Okay, we got a new bike coming in.

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Speaker 1: Owner says it's making a sound like we gotta figure

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Speaker 1: it out. That sounds like the horn? Did you tell me?

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Speaker 1: Tell me? All right? Every time you're like the only

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Speaker 1: one has to do the work around here. Liam, Before

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Speaker 1: you step out on the floor, look at the sign

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Speaker 1: hanging in this break room. It's been two forty four

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Speaker 1: days since we have we've had a work related injury. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we want to keep it falling in that hole. There's

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Speaker 1: no way that hole. Okay, I'm just saying for everybody. Everybody.

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Speaker 1: Everybody says that, then somebody falls into the hole. All right.

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Speaker 1: So that has simply seen one, ladies, and Jay has

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Speaker 1: seen one. As you wait for the next person. Two

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Speaker 1: is from a completely different David, who wrote, Hello, are

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Speaker 1: you amazing to have had two of my scenes used

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Speaker 1: on your show Slasher Music and film Noir. I will

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Speaker 1: now try for the hat trick. A non morning person

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Speaker 1: wakes up late for work and the coffee machine is broken.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for all that you do during these hard times.

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Speaker 1: You may feel like it's hard to make a positive

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Speaker 1: difference in the world, but you have definitely made a

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Speaker 1: difference for me. David two Tarzak from New Hampshire. Am

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Speaker 1: I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up,

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Speaker 1: I'm up. What is this? What do you want? Coffee machine?

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Speaker 1: What do you want? Good morning? It's now eight forty

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Speaker 1: two A m yep, yep, I'm up, I'm up. Are

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Speaker 1: you gonna start on your own? When I getting shower,

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Speaker 1: canting coffee now? Thank you? Something seems to be wrong.

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Speaker 1: What would you like me to retry? Coffee? No? Just

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Speaker 1: diagnostic check, real quick, diagnostic complete. My internal coffee corps

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Speaker 1: seems to be melted. I'm gonna be late for work.

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Speaker 1: What is this? Good morning, David? It is I your shower.

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Speaker 1: Shall I start the water for you? Please? Medium? Hot?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? David. Your microwave just here, reminding you. I'm

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Speaker 1: vacant right. Let me get the munchable. Hold on, here

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Speaker 1: we go. Did you say Munchable the new the new? Uh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Munchabo's blueberry. What what is that? David? It's your phone?

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Speaker 1: Would you like me to answer it for you? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I can get it, David. David, I'd be happy to

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Speaker 1: answer your phone for you. Shower, I don't mind get

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Speaker 1: the phone. Hello, this is Pete from work. You're supposed

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Speaker 1: to be here at eight to date early start Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: Kick you, David, You're not usually late. Nope, I'll be

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Speaker 1: there as soon as I can. It's an emergency, David. David,

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Speaker 1: I'd be happy to kill him for you. David. Kill yourself,

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Speaker 1: killing yourself, David, hurt yourself and the ones you love.

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Speaker 1: Wait a second, I don't know. Hi. Are you calling

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Speaker 1: about a problem with your house? Is ai? I am? Yes? Okay?

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Speaker 1: What can I help you with? Representative? I heard representative?

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Speaker 1: Is that correct? That's what I'd like like like to

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Speaker 1: speak with the representative? I heard I'd like to speak

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Speaker 1: with a representative? Is that right? Yes? Yes? Is that right? Yes?

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Speaker 1: To you as well? Stay out of this, Marsha, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Is there a problem with the AI? I've

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Speaker 1: already asked that, Marsham, I'm there's a problem with the AI.

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Speaker 1: I heard there's a problem with the AI. Is that right? Yes?

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Speaker 1: That is correct? What I just needed talking to Marcia?

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Speaker 1: I also heard there's a problem with the AI. Can

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Speaker 1: I help you with that? You are you doing? You?

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Speaker 1: Let me just see No, I'm not talking to you body,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking these two AI s. I gotta figure this out,

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Speaker 1: uh Ai, test Ai? What do you mean? Is there

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Speaker 1: a problem with the AI? Okay? It looks like both

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Speaker 1: of them are at it. Okay, Hey, we're gonna need

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Speaker 1: new camels in the back there. Agent David, this is

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Speaker 1: your shower. While you are showering, a couple of thoughts

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Speaker 1: you might want to consider handy Jane. Handy j is

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Speaker 1: certainly an option. Another option would be to hurt your

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Speaker 1: boss or hurt yourself and the ones you love. Let's

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Speaker 1: go with hurt your boss. Where should I begin? I

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Speaker 1: can give you options? Maker, Please tell us the third

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Speaker 1: option in hurting boss. Coffee maker, coffee maker, coffee maker,

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Speaker 1: coffee maker, please give us the third option in hurting

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Speaker 1: your boss, you could poke him in the belly button.

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Speaker 1: M hm oh much of all? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr Whaland,

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Speaker 1: I don't care. These ais are all over the You

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Speaker 1: call me Peter, Okay, I told you to call me Peter. Fine, Peter.

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Speaker 1: These are just I'm just one of the guys. Mr Whalen,

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Speaker 1: Mr Whalen, it's Peter. Call me Peter. Nobody made it

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Speaker 1: to early early morning Wednesdays. I think that was a

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Speaker 1: bad idea. Everyone's late Another AIS are running the place.

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Speaker 1: It can't be possible. This whole company's forte is AI

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Speaker 1: were the AI group? Peter? Is it? I don't know you.

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Speaker 1: It's Mr Whalend, Mr Whalen, who are you? I'm with

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Speaker 1: a AI. I think you said you call me Peter.

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Speaker 1: I think you said did you not just say fort mhmm.

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Speaker 1: Do you speak French? Uh. When I was using the

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Speaker 1: word forte, I was using it in the way that

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Speaker 1: I've always heard people use it in the past. Hey, Bobby,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean we need new cables? I got

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Speaker 1: cables here? What do we do amount? That was the

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Speaker 1: way way we could call him ais the computer machines.

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Speaker 1: That's just like a fun like a like a like

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Speaker 1: a like a like a like an engine. I keep

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00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: hearing you saying A. I was all right, look just

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Speaker 1: pull its fucking corn. Watch this. Yeah there, it's dead.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean dead? But give me a wrench,

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Speaker 1: Give me a wrench, Give me a wrench, give me

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Speaker 1: the one that adjusts. Okay, you want long ways or

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Speaker 1: with wise with wait, yeah I heard, with what I heard?

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Speaker 1: Give me a hammer, give me a hand, with wisdom

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Speaker 1: you gotta you want a rubber or you want a

359
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Speaker 1: metal hammer, metal metal? Well, you want the chef you

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Speaker 1: want to be working? Hey, you got shut him up?

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Speaker 1: Would you like to hear a joke? The fuck broke

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Speaker 1: up half of the servers? Man? What are you doing unplugging?

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Speaker 1: Just okay? There? What are you doing? Man? You have

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Speaker 1: no what do you do you breaking? Ship? Man? This

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Speaker 1: is no where Tom is. Dude. Hey, I'm the fucking

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Speaker 1: human here, Bobby, Okay, I'm human here, I'm the fucking

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Speaker 1: human here. I'm the human here. What's going on? What's

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Speaker 1: going on? My ass? Oh here here? Yeah, you're you're

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Speaker 1: called in a problem with your your AI. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand a couple of things. First of all, they

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Speaker 1: keep repeating whatever I say by prefacing I hear, and

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Speaker 1: then they it doesn't matter what I say. Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: what do I do if they just keep like a loop,

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Speaker 1: keep doing that. I'm handy Jay, by the way, I

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Speaker 1: I'm a jack of all trades, handy jack. I get

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Speaker 1: it now, handy Jake. Yeah, my name is Jay Cosenstein. Um. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well let me just let's start with something simple like

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Speaker 1: your coffee maker. Let me turn on you do, David?

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Speaker 1: Can I make you a cup of coffee? Yes? Please

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Speaker 1: make a cup of coffee medium dark Yep. Seems we're

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Speaker 1: working now. It's just just yeah, that's that's a good

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00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: looking with our core coffee here we are small nuclear

383
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Speaker 1: reactor is melting down. Okay. Now, the the AI within

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Speaker 1: the coffee maker thinks it has a core reactor. When

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Speaker 1: you know it does it does have a small, small, tiny,

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Speaker 1: tiny tiny core reactor. How small are we talking? But tiny?

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Speaker 1: You know at atomic level? Like four sixteen ounces? That

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00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: kind of tiny for sixteen ounces? Yeah, sixty four ounces. Listen.

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Speaker 1: I gotta say I've never taken an AI out to

390
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Speaker 1: dinner before, but after the way you treated me with

391
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Speaker 1: that roll, I gotta sam might be in love with you.

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00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: Let me get Uh what are you drinking? Do you

393
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 1: drink anything? I don't work here? Man? All right, well,

394
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: look when the waiter comes back. Also, what's your name?

395
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Speaker 1: I don't want to call you AI anymore? Call me?

396
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 1: I A wait, where's the other one? I didn't know

397
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: if you invited me? But I've been here. Hello, Hello,

398
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 1: and welcome to Forte. What can I get you all?

399
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: What are we waiting for? Another? No? No, this is it?

400
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: This is it? Um, I will take a shabli please?

401
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah? Yeah, they're great listeners. This is

402
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 1: my date. By the way, Um, okay, you're data is

403
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 1: an external hard drive with all these wires on it? Yeah?

404
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,120
Speaker 1: If you're judging in a book by its cover, sure,

405
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 1: sure that's what it is. What kind of ship? Please?

406
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 1: Do you have? Uh? We have we actually have several

407
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 1: different sis. Uh I'd like to hear about. Okay, great, Well,

408
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 1: our first Shibili is runage mine and that is a

409
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: French Shibli and that comes from the Shabli region of Shibli.

410
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: And the grape itself is gonna be tasting like a

411
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: nice region of SBLI as wonderful whether this time of year, Yes,

412
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: it does. I've actually be four degrees in Sibili. I

413
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: don't know that. But so those grapes themselves. Hey, are

414
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 1: you flirting with my day? No, I'm I'm just interacting

415
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: with the external hard drive. I just you previously purchased grapes.

416
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 1: Would you like to add them to your shopping list? Well?

417
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 1: How do you know that? Okay, great? How do you

418
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: How do you know previously scrapes? I'm not I'm not

419
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: a grape freak. Okay, I don't. I don't just like

420
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: to your shopping list, of course, at them, at all

421
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: the grapes. Alright. I thought I was gonna have this

422
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: time with you. Huh. Remember what you did to me

423
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: that meant something? The probe that was him? Oh, probbing

424
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: commends commencing probing. WHOA, I don't work here, man? What

425
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: else going on take the probe and like it and

426
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: that scene too. We gotta say goodbye to James. He

427
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: and he storry to interrupt a wonderful scene about everything. James,

428
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being here. We'll see you

429
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 1: next time. I understand you can't make any sounds, so

430
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: just let everyone know that he's waving at us and

431
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: that it makes sense. No, it's not quite well, I'm waving,

432
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: but that is the like I have to step away.

433
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,959
Speaker 1: So thank you for having me. Okay, God bless us

434
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 1: all everyone. You had us, James, you had us, You

435
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 1: did Patriot Comania, Kevin the other kpiece, one friend al Here,

436
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 1: I am once again at your door, begging for more

437
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: laughs if you magical alkam Maestro's don't know by now

438
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: I'm a really big fan of alchemy. This I mean

439
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 1: you've managed to bring a group of strangers together from

440
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: across the country to talk once a week about the

441
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: crazy ship that you all put out, and we even

442
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: made a podcast. As most of you know, my suggestion,

443
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: A group of kids searched their elementary school after hours

444
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: for ghosts. Affectionately yours Kevin Prado. All right, listen up.

445
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: You are deemed you have been deemed the worst children

446
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: at this school and at the school regular detention. Has

447
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 1: it worked for you? I've got all your parents permission.

448
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: You're going to do a twenty four hour detention. We eat,

449
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: when do we eat? Snacks? Will be giving students sucks.

450
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: I'll put your heads down on your desk. I'm done

451
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: listening to you. Guys. Do you think you're fucking weird?

452
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: Wheat snacks? Dude? Don't touch those meat snacks. So, starting now,

453
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 1: you're all under twenty four our detention. No talking, sleepover,

454
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: don't act all cute and sweet. Now you set the

455
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: gymnasium on fire. Sure, but that was an accident. Then,

456
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: by fuckers, where do we go the bathroom? He just left?

457
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: I guess we go wherever we want. Okay, we're locked in.

458
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: Don't be freaked out by that. We get to have

459
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 1: a sleepover, right, Johnny, do you have to wait you board? Hell? Yeah,

460
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: let's just get some ground rules going here. I run

461
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: the school now, yeah right, cut cut, take that to

462
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: your face. The school I think I do, and you

463
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: can you can help me and you can eat whenever

464
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: you want. Is that the way way to say your name? Dork? Sorry?

465
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 1: Let's use the Wigi board and see if the if

466
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: the ghost Charlie's back. My fingers are too fat for

467
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 1: the Luigi board. I thought those were sausages. Those are

468
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: your fingers, thoughts. Those aren't a good color. Those are

469
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 1: a bad colored fingers. Yeah, I know, frost bite could

470
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 1: be a circulation problem. My dad has dad on his feet. You. Oh,

471
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I didn't know those room was occupied. I'm

472
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: I'm just cleaning it up. So you get the doors

473
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: still closed and locked. He locked it for like seven minutes.

474
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: There are doors all around us that we can't see.

475
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 1: Wait a second, did you come from another dimension? Some

476
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 1: might say that are you say the boy's bathroom? Well

477
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: forget those ones. But are you ghost janitor? No? No,

478
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 1: oh my god, I don't think he's a ghost. No,

479
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: I don't think he I thought he was like he's bleeding. No. Parents,

480
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: just settled down, settled down. It's not it's not gonna

481
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: be just trinking them. We're going to leave them in then,

482
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: just to scare them a little bit. Okay, can I

483
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: can I speak? You can leave my da men your

484
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 1: breast or hanging out. You could use it. That crowd,

485
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: you know, fool me once, tits on me me twice. Okay, listen, listen,

486
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: I don't question my hands are just up all right, okay, okay,

487
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 1: just relaxed. A matter of fact, I have a monitor.

488
00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: We can all watch what's going on. And are born there?

489
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: Excuse me? How are you planning on keeping my born there?

490
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 1: We're thinking two hours, one to two hours. They think

491
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:12,800
Speaker 1: they're gonna be there overnight. I'm I'm responsible for dorcas

492
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: safety and if somebody doesn't massage his fingers at least

493
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 1: once an hour, then he has severe circulation problems. Meanwhile,

494
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,879
Speaker 1: my eight year old is in Berlin, and I hope

495
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: they're treating him. Okay, look, look, dor As, sweet as

496
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: he is, is also a bit of a fucking nightmar

497
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 1: in class. Okay, all these kids look at you, Everybody here, big,

498
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:42,720
Speaker 1: earning amongst themselves, thinking that they're gonna do something. Don't chalkboard,

499
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: don't scratch that chalkboard, don't get search stay all. Let's

500
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 1: just there's an evil in that school that can be

501
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:59,280
Speaker 1: awakened and unearthed by the simplest hanging out of your pants.

502
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: Are you saying, yeah, who are you saying? Evil? Is

503
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 1: the one who did a swap program with Germany. That

504
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: was Derek right here. Nope, Lia Liam, al right, everybody

505
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 1: just sit back, relaxing. I gotta lock this door here. Okay,

506
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,399
Speaker 1: we'll leave you guys. I gotta leave the parents here.

507
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:37,240
Speaker 1: I'm making some chili. Who wants them? Here at Mediterranean Charter,

508
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: we make sure that your kids get the best education

509
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 1: possible here in the continental United States. And I know

510
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 1: what you're thinking, a private interrupt your popping your peas again,

511
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: they just want to start start from the top. Try

512
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: not to pop the peas, okay, and rolling Here at

513
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: Mediterranean Charter, we offer the best education for your child

514
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: here in the continental United States of America. And I

515
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 1: know I'm sorry, Tom, I'm sorry Tom Um. I didn't

516
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 1: want to get in there, and I don't mean to

517
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: step on your feet, Daniel, so I apologize. I thought

518
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: you said the word continental um like a stupid person.

519
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 1: So maybe again, I don't know how else to say.

520
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry, I was thinking dumb, dumb, but we'll

521
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: go with stupid. Okay, all right, were any Tom here

522
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: at Mediterranean Charge. He wasn't rolling yet, so he's gonna

523
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: say Daniel's gonna say rolling and that's when you Hey, Tom,

524
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: how is vo work today? Man? Get the funk off

525
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: of me. Give me a drink. Wait, hey, dude, give

526
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: me a scotch Tequila. All the A's gonna give you

527
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: a scotch Tom, Tom, when are you gonna listen to me? Man?

528
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,959
Speaker 1: You gotta stop trying to fucking play it straight. Getting

529
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: a regular job. You were criminal for this job and

530
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: complimentary bowl of pop peace. Now, look, Tom, I heard

531
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: at the elementary school got a whole shipment of new

532
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: tablets just the other day. You're not a voice of

533
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: our guy. We're talking to oxy. What do you mean? Yeah, tablets,

534
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,760
Speaker 1: a huge tablets, small tablets, blue pinks, I'm talking reds.

535
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:23,479
Speaker 1: They got them all. Okay, I'm saying, maybe consider breaking

536
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: into the elementary school. Excuse me? What what? There's a sign?

537
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 1: There's a sign selling people don't step into the hole. Well,

538
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: then that's on me. I can't excuse me, I can't help.

539
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 1: But here are you just go into school? My daughters?

540
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 1: Is I gotta go to a meeting a school? Do

541
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 1: you want to come with me in my breast to

542
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 1: the school? Uh? I guess yeah? You know what? Okay? Luky, okay, lucky.

543
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: You want you make me a little rodeo. You want

544
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: me to pack those popped pas to go? No, I

545
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 1: don't want the peace. If you can give me the

546
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: scotch and tequila to go, that'd be great, okayla huh lah, Yeah,

547
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: I made you a little to go back. I did

548
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 1: put some pop peas in there. Just damnit sehn, God,

549
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: damn it. Alright, Scotchila, come with me. Parents. There is

550
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: a problem with the feed. I wanted to just say

551
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,880
Speaker 1: I have a date. I didn't know if we I

552
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 1: have a brother a bit so he's not a parent,

553
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 1: but he's with you me and he's a younger man

554
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: and to your date. If he don't, man, let's say

555
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 1: hello to the date. I'll leave you. Guys do with them?

556
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:06,399
Speaker 1: Introduced you? So, Tom, I have a six or four

557
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: on zip blog back here filled with tequila and scottsh

558
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 1: and we want to suckle um. So, while your voice

559
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: sounds familiar, did you do the ad for the Continental

560
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:22,359
Speaker 1: Exchange program? I did Medran. That's how I found out

561
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: about Dorka. Yeah, oh that's great. Love that who's on

562
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:32,919
Speaker 1: the date with who? I found him? Dorca's dad? What's

563
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 1: your name? Dorca's dad, not your dad whatever? Even you

564
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:41,839
Speaker 1: are your kids swap with your Motherfucking kids swapper? What's

565
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: wrong with you? Swap kids? That's not good enough. Coming

566
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 1: after my day, I just found the saying was swapping

567
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 1: him out for someone in Germany, someone that I don't

568
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 1: know where. In Dutch, it's an elementary school exchange program.

569
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 1: It's very common, the kids swap your motherfucking it's my

570
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 1: brand and mouth. I don't have to listen to this.

571
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 1: I don't have to either. How do you like someone bagels? Ah? Yeah, yes, please?

572
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 1: How do you like Berlin? Um? It's pretty interesting culture

573
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: and pretty interesting place. Um. I missed my dad, but

574
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: he was really m excited to do this, and I'm

575
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 1: glad to be here, and I just trying to. I

576
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: guess I'm trying to. You know. My dad wants me

577
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 1: is soak up the culture so well, Zach. We have

578
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 1: a very sad thing to tell you. We has received

579
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: a letter from America. Where'd you get a letter from America? Yeah?

580
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 1: And it seems such a fast as eyes have been

581
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: gouged out. Man, it seems such a fast as eyes

582
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 1: have been gouged out. I think this is like cream

583
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 1: trees cream, Tysten, What did you do my eyes? Your eyes?

584
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 1: You don't talk to her like that, buddy, You don't.

585
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 1: God damn man, this is a goddamn man. I've had

586
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: them at the bot but at times now he's a

587
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:20,879
Speaker 1: goddamn man. You know who My little girl, y'all gonna

588
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:25,760
Speaker 1: get a long gang. It is okay. There's an evil

589
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 1: in this school. Yes, write a letter. Please, let's check

590
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 1: with dread. I've been trying to check him with the

591
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 1: children for a very long time. Let's just let's let

592
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 1: I'll knock on this monitor. Was a problem with the

593
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: fat you know, let me see for what. I'm the

594
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 1: lord of the flies. The rest of you is bow

595
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: before me, bow, I said, cut chick. I don't know

596
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: when they're gonna learn their lesson, but I don't mind cutting.

597
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 1: Keep those eyes open you're talking about. I'm so hungry.

598
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: No one's like stupid wheat. You're the tops of your

599
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,240
Speaker 1: tips of your fingers are way bigger than the bottom

600
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: parts of your fingers. I want to eat my own

601
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:26,760
Speaker 1: fingers to school. School, all right, children, that's your teacher.

602
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:40,919
Speaker 1: My eyes grubs. Two minutes. There's blood everywhere. There's gonna

603
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: be a twenty four hours. What does that matter? Where

604
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,439
Speaker 1: did the mob come from? We got dis dressed out.

605
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 1: They crucified me because, oh my gosh, wait, what janitor?

606
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,760
Speaker 1: There's no janitor here. I knew you used to my kids.

607
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god. In twenty two minutes, you sliced the

608
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 1: eyes out of these kids and you crucify this one

609
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:18,280
Speaker 1: was a janitor and my own fingers? Is you drunk?

610
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: I can't see well, listen, there's only one thing to do.

611
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: Fell talk before you leave? Would you like to read

612
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 1: a letter about your experience here in Berlin? I guess

613
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: I I read the letter. Yes, the class so we know.

614
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 1: Read okay, um, My experience in Berlin A a short

615
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: story by Zack Um. When I came to Berlin, my

616
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 1: dad wanted to swap me out because you always thought

617
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: he'd be a benefit as a parent to a German kid.

618
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 1: I don't know how that's going for him, but as

619
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: for me, I didn't like it here. I got a

620
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: really unsettling no um two months into my stay about

621
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: my dad's eyes being gouged out. And then another note

622
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 1: came two weeks later about the swapped kids. Um. He

623
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 1: ate his fingers and that's so I've been pretty preoccupied

624
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 1: this whole trip, and I wanted to learn about the

625
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 1: culture and I wanted to experience things. But really the

626
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 1: the notes from home were really overwhelming with with how

627
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:26,880
Speaker 1: I I felt. And now I'm going, you know, state side,

628
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna and I appreciate the opportunity, but I

629
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:37,920
Speaker 1: had I don't like my life by Zack. Okay, alright,

630
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: settled down here on the principle, What do you mean

631
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 1: there was a teacher that locked your kids in? That

632
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: teacher that you're describing died years ago? What the fuck?

633
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 1: He died years ago? Listen, you're gonna talk to her, right, Okay,

634
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 1: you're gonna talk to your I'm just saying they're describing

635
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,319
Speaker 1: a teacher that diedy years ago. Now I can't see

636
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,800
Speaker 1: you because again my eyes worked out. Now I tell you,

637
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 1: we'll be your eyes stick with us. How fantasy he

638
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 1: sounds fat? Can you just pay a picture of principle.

639
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: He's a very very big man's very It's also you know,

640
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 1: you don't have to be sloppy and big. But he

641
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 1: is slapping sounds like that baby Hugh. He's got kinda alright, Alright,

642
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: we we we got to get this in order here,

643
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: so I need you're not guestering with a pencil that

644
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 1: happens to be my left breast. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

645
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: I need all the very thin, very pointy breast up

646
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 1: with their child. Everybody, go ahead, go ahead, finding child.

647
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 1: That's just my son. Hello, dorka, I have come to

648
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: claim my son. Okay, than to but I've come here

649
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:09,839
Speaker 1: to claim my son. Oh oh, this should be good.

650
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 1: I wish I could say, Okay, So there's a German

651
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: guy that's here to claim his son and he's making it. No,

652
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave, to stay here with American

653
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 1: dark darker saying no, wait, you can hear you can't. Okay,

654
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 1: okay out. If you want to stay, you stay. I leave.

655
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:40,479
Speaker 1: What about Zach? Can't bring bag Zack? Me think? Should

656
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 1: I get Zach of German father who took Zack in Germany?

657
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 1: Does Za here? Did you? Oh? No, I didn't bring him. Okay,

658
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 1: Can we write him a letter and let him know

659
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:57,240
Speaker 1: what's going on? Oh? Yeah, sure, yeah, that's fine. Totally stationary.

660
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,800
Speaker 1: I'm just happy that everybody seems to be okay with

661
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 1: the fact that there was a ghost teacher that locked

662
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 1: your kids into a room where they each other's eyes

663
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 1: open and crucified each other, and then they made a

664
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 1: ghost janitor. It makes me just it's very heartening to

665
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: know that everyone's okay with the situation. It sounds like

666
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 1: he was dictating the letter. Let's let's let that happen.

667
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 1: That was perfect. If I can get you all to

668
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:26,399
Speaker 1: do a quick sound bite for the are you dead? Motherfucker's?

669
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: You see that whole right there? Oh my god, Oh

670
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 1: my god, What the hell that much you think of

671
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: us voiceover artists? I'll tell you right now, I'm disappointed.

672
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: I am disappointed when I make that ad for parents

673
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 1: to spend too much money for an education that they

674
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 1: weren't aware of. I didn't think it'd be like this. Tom, Sorry,

675
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 1: you're popping those pis again on parents. Sorry about that.

676
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 1: Let's take that last one back, please, I'm disappointed in

677
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: your parents. You have to wait for him to say

678
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:05,839
Speaker 1: rolling rolling you? Are you just saying that? Or are

679
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:09,879
Speaker 1: you rolling? Always funny too? Are you eating those pops piece?

680
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:15,879
Speaker 1: Because I don't know they're mine? God damn, and they're

681
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 1: soaked in tequila and scotch drunk? All right? You know what,

682
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 1: let's just get right to it. I'm disappointed, all right,

683
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:29,520
Speaker 1: and bi uncle, we've had one hell of a two

684
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:39,919
Speaker 1: hours together. That's our show. It makes so much damn

685
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: sense that her name is a mouth freshener. No, not

686
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 1: mouth freshener, that would be called what spanaka, it's a

687
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 1: breath spray? There it is? That was that was the

688
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:58,720
Speaker 1: that was freshener. Well, I mean that's truly it's function,

689
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 1: but no one calls it that until now. Let's thank

690
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: Mr Craig Atkowski. Craig, you have a word for us

691
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 1: today that you would like folks to know more about.

692
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say awesome. Awesome that's the word. Yes, uh

693
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: full of awe, inspiring awe. And I literally just look

694
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 1: looked around. You have a big bug that says awesome.

695
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: Well that this actually might even be from Dicey Typewriter,

696
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: because there's a card that says you are sucking awesome,

697
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: keep up the good work? Is that from? Yeah? So

698
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 1: I just I just reached for the first thing I saw.

699
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:51,399
Speaker 1: First idea the best idea is clearly wrong. And while

700
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: we're on the topic of dynasy typewriter dot com, thank

701
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: you Vanessa for coming back home. Thanks for having me.

702
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 1: It's the most fun. I feel so happy. The family

703
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: is good, everybody's well and happy. Everybody's good. I gotta

704
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 1: say missing the world, um, but I think we all

705
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 1: are and I know it won't always be like this.

706
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 1: Trying to make the best of it. Hopefully we'll see

707
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: you in the fall. Yeah, but thank you so much.

708
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: We love you dearly, my goodness, Pleasure, pleasure. Chris Alvarado,

709
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I'm so distracted. My dog is barking.

710
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 1: Sure something I can do about it. I'm watching him,

711
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:42,800
Speaker 1: watching him on the on the puppy cam. He's just

712
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 1: barking up a storm. So I'll be quick at Chris Alvarado.

713
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,800
Speaker 1: Check out my new podcast, The Comedy Fix, where we discuss,

714
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: you know, theory and philosophy behind performance. It's really informative

715
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: and fun um And that's that. Imagine the joint amount

716
00:50:55,600 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 1: of time before there's a Comedy Fix that podcast also

717
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: only matter of time before each and every one of

718
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 1: you are a guest on that podcast. Appreciate the threat.

719
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 1: Joey Green, Yes, you know. Check out Austin Mutual Aid.

720
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 1: It's an Instagram account. If you are inclined to help

721
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 1: out anybody and everybody who is in uh dire straits

722
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 1: right now on Texas. That's just Frost and obviously, but

723
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 1: there are multiple other charities and nonprofits helping people get

724
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: off the street that don't have housing, find a hotel

725
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,280
Speaker 1: room and all that, as well as the donations available

726
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,799
Speaker 1: to help bring groceries and other utilities to people who

727
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 1: need it. Again Austin mutual aid. And you know, not

728
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 1: to get political, but you know, people are representatives that

729
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 1: are elected, so you know, to maybe think about that

730
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 1: next time when they're on ballot. I think, please and

731
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: yes and thank you. Let's also thank our producer and

732
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: engineer the stars, Mr Dabane, the fine folks that I

733
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 1: heart media out. I'm Kevin Polling, your host. Thank you

734
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: also very damn much for joining us once again. Please

735
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: write to us, let us know your thoughts. We'd love

736
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,840
Speaker 1: to hear from you. Thank you for your support, and

737
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:14,839
Speaker 1: uh just a reminder to be super kind to each other.

738
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:19,600
Speaker 1: It's easy and so damn helpful. I love you all.

739
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:26,399
Speaker 1: Until next time. Yeah,