1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: We are like the most normal white people from Georgia 2 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: you've ever met. But we grew up only knowing people 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: like us. There was a little bit of diversity in 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: our schools, but we didn't have any friends that were 5 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: different than us. It wasn't until we were adults traveling 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 1: overseas getting exposed to people who are who are very 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: different than us, that we started to kind of see 8 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: a bigger picture. So we come home, we still look around, 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: we still got these blinders on. We're driving down the 10 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: same roads, We're going to the same restaurants. Well, there's 11 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: a mobile home park three miles from where we live 12 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: that we had both driven past for thirty years and 13 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: never knew it was there. 14 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 2: Like for both of us to go to the University 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 2: of Georgia from where we grew up, we had to 16 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 2: drive out his mobile home park, like. 17 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 1: I mean, I would say a thousand times, like we've 18 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: driven past it and never even knew it was there 19 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: until this one day in two thousand and eight when 20 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: we drove in. 21 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 3: Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. 22 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 3: I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father, 23 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 3: I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in 24 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 3: inner City Memphis, and that last part it unintentionally led 25 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 3: to an oscar for the film about our team. It's 26 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 3: called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems will never be 27 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,559 Speaker 3: solved by a bunch of fancy people and nice suits 28 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 3: using big words that nobody understands on CNN and Fox, 29 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 3: but rather by an army of normal folks. That's us, 30 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 3: just you and me deciding hey, I can help. That's 31 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 3: what Jim and Melinda Hollinsworth, the voices we just heard, 32 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 3: have done when they drove into the mobile home park. 33 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 3: They ended up developing relationships that transformed their lives in 34 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 3: so many ways. Today, their nonprofit Path United operates community 35 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 3: centers in seven mobile home parks, and they do life 36 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 3: with six hundred students every single week. I cannot wait 37 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 3: for you to meet Jim and Melinda right after these 38 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 3: brief messages from our general sponsors, Jim and Melinda Hollinsworth, 39 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 3: Welcome to Memphis. 40 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,399 Speaker 4: Thanks for having us, Bill. 41 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 3: Thanks. Hey, we've had some weather. It's the flight bumpy 42 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 3: or is it our. 43 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 4: It's actually good then? Hey, we had a lot of 44 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 4: weather the weekend too, but today was good. 45 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 3: Really, no problem, just to straight shot in Atlanta. I'm 46 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 3: sure delta. 47 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 4: Right alta straight shot. 48 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 3: I'm in a flight. Good, well, thank you for being here. 49 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 3: I am still a little foggy. My son was married 50 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 3: this weekend. Oh congratulations, thank you very much to a 51 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 3: beautiful young lady named Eliza Lundy who is now Eliza Qui. 52 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 3: So we now have five children because she is now 53 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 3: part of our family. And it was in Jackson, Mississippi, 54 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 3: and so we did that all weekend and drove back. 55 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 3: So if I seem groggy or say something ridiculously stupid, 56 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 3: I'm writing it up to a really way too big 57 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 3: rehearsal dinner and reception after the wedding. So I'm still 58 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 3: recovering it. That's okay. Yeah, so you've earned it. Yeah, 59 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 3: thanks very much. Let's start with you Melinda. Ladies, first, 60 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 3: tell me just kind of where you're from and how 61 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 3: you came up. 62 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:35,840 Speaker 2: Well, I grew up not too far outside of Atlanta, Georgia. 63 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 3: You definitely have the southern girl accent working. 64 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's there, it's there. There's not really anything interesting, 65 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 2: pretty typical growing up outside of it. Mom and dad 66 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: what they do they My mom was a teacher. My 67 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 2: dad worked in insurance. Yeah, so like nothing super siblings. 68 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 2: I have a sister, she's three years younger than me. 69 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 3: Got it. And where you said outside of Atlanta? Where? Yeah? 70 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 2: Gwenette County, that's where we are. Like where are we from? 71 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 2: Sti's say, Snellville Gym's family. 72 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 4: Yeah. 73 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: The closest landmark for both of us, Stone Mountain Park. 74 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: If people know where Stone Mountain, Georgia is. Yeah, for 75 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 1: sureast of Atlanta. We're right there. I got it. 76 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 3: And so you grew up there and then went to 77 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 3: school because you were trained as a teacher. 78 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 2: I was what at the University of Georgia. 79 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 3: Yeah? Go Bulldogs. Yeah yeah, we're going to have us 80 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 3: a showdown later this fall in Oxford. You know, George 81 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 3: is going to be rolling into Ole Miss and Ole 82 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 3: Miss out to be salty this year and George's Georgia. 83 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 3: So we'll be friends until that Saturday. 84 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that sounds great. 85 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 3: All right. So you went to Uga Uga. 86 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 2: Then I moved back to Gwennette County, where I taught 87 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 2: elementary school with Jim's mom for three years, and we 88 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 2: met on a blind date. His mom set us up. 89 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 3: Your mom set you up. Yeah, that's uh boy, she's working, 90 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 3: I mean getting you married off and everything at right. 91 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 4: We joke she she got to pick her daughter in law. 92 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 3: Pretty much. So you taught school with Jim's mom. 93 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 2: I was a second grade teacher. She was a kindergarten teacher. Like, 94 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 2: we always had lunch at the same time for two years, 95 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 2: and then the third years she went to all of 96 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 2: my friends and said, I really think Melana should date 97 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 2: my son. And I was like, no, no, no. I 98 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 2: really liked his mom. So I was afraid, like, oh, 99 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 2: we're going to day and this stead everything's awkward. Yeah, 100 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 2: and so I said, that's fine, I'll meet him for coffee, 101 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 2: but I'm not going to ride with him, and I'm 102 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 2: not gonna do a whole meal. So we called and 103 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 2: we talked on the phone for forty five minutes, and 104 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 2: then he picked me up and we went to dinner. 105 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: The rest is history. We were married a year later, 106 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 2: less than a year later, ten months later. 107 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 4: Yeah, so four month Jim, you got game listen. I 108 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 4: don't know. 109 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know how well, So the whole story 110 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: is really cool. I remember my mom coming home. So 111 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: I was a senior in college. Mond is a couple 112 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: of years older. So she was teaching. I was a 113 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,719 Speaker 1: senior at Georgia. 114 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 3: There was a great robber, that's right. 115 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: My mom says, hey, there's this girl, there's this teacher 116 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: you should meet. I'm like, you're crazy. I'm not going 117 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: to go out with the teacher that you're setting me 118 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: up with. But she showed me a picture and I 119 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: was like, okay, well that sounds. 120 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 3: Good for everybody listening. Melinda is beautiful. 121 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 4: So I called her and we went on a date. 122 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:15,159 Speaker 3: Yeah. 123 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: Four months later we got engaged. Four months months yeah wow. 124 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: And five months after that we got married, it says 125 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: pretty quick. 126 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 3: So it was landline time. Yeah. 127 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 2: Like he had my phone number on a piece of 128 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,480 Speaker 2: paper and he called my apartment and my roommate answered. 129 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 2: And so when I got home. We were both pretty 130 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 2: cynical about blind dates. 131 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it for good reason. 132 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:37,359 Speaker 2: Good reason. 133 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. 134 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 2: And so I got home and she said, I think 135 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 2: I just talked to your husband. 136 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 3: On the phone. 137 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 2: We've been friends since first grade. My room may I 138 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 2: so wow? 139 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 3: She liked him. 140 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so he called before I got Did. 141 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 3: You always want to be a teacher? Your mom being 142 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 3: a teacher? Was that a thing? 143 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 2: If my mom was a teacher, and I was always 144 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 2: kind of good with working with kids. But I actually 145 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 2: went to Georgia originally to be a physical therapist. I 146 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 2: don't even know lunch as that, and then changed my 147 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 2: major within the first few months of into work. 148 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 3: Well for me, who'd you grow up? Jim? 149 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 4: So the cool stories. 150 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: We grew up, you know, five six miles from each other, 151 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: so in the same community, the same school. We did 152 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: not We went to neighboring high schools. So where we 153 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: were Snellville, Georgia, near Stone Mountain, Gwenette County, really big schools, 154 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: really really large population east of Atlanta, and so we 155 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: were close, but went to neighboring large high schools, and 156 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: so we never knew each other growing up by other 157 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: two high schools. I went to South Gwinnette High School. 158 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: Wellanda went to Shiloh High School. 159 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 3: Got it. 160 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: Neither were great athletically, you know, kind of we were 161 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: in the shadows of some other schools, but we were 162 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 1: probably in the same place at sporting events all that 163 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: kind of stuff. 164 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 4: We didn't know each other. 165 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 3: That's crazy. 166 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: Crazy story is that once we met, when our parents met, 167 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: we realized so both of our parents went to the 168 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: went to the same high school in Snowville. Like, we 169 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: both have deep roots in the same community, so we 170 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: go back multiple generations, like our families knew each other. 171 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: We actually had a check like are we related, you know, 172 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 1: we had we did, we did one of those. Well, 173 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: because all these all these connections. 174 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 3: It is over in the mountains at the south, I 175 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 3: mean that's completely that's right. There's banjo music playing at 176 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 3: your wedding and all. So it's a cool story. But 177 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 3: we're from the same place. Yeah, so tell me about 178 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 3: your prayers you grow up. 179 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I grew up really similar just to you know, 180 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: middle class, suburban family. My dad's family is from Tennessee. 181 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,439 Speaker 1: My mom's family has deep roots in Snowville, where we're from. 182 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 4: And I grew up the oldest of four boys. 183 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:46,319 Speaker 1: So lots of I mean lots of fights, lots of sports. 184 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:50,679 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, that whole life growing up playing sports. I mean, 185 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: just just a normal kid. I wasn't great at sports, 186 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 1: but I love sports. Went to UGA just like Melinda. Again, 187 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 1: we went to the same college. Didn't know each other 188 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: until I was a senior in college. Linda was already 189 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: graduated before we even met. 190 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 3: So what your dad, mom did. 191 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom was a teacher as well, I mean 192 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: kindergarten teacher. My dad was in sales business, you know, 193 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: a variety of things. 194 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 3: And would you major in? 195 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: I majored in history at Uga. I wanted to teach history. Well, actually, 196 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: I don't know what I wanted to do. I just 197 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 1: liked history the best and it cmd isner. Okay, we 198 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm major in this, No. 199 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 3: Kid, And then you are a pastor? How that? Yes? 200 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,839 Speaker 3: Already because when y'all met, right, you were already out 201 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 3: of school teaching, so you started some kind. 202 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 4: Of professional I did so. 203 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,559 Speaker 1: I was a senior in college, graduate with history degree, 204 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 1: applying to graduate school for history programs, to try to 205 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: go on and get a master's and then a PhD 206 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: and teach history in college. 207 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 4: That was my idea. 208 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 1: So we got married and moved to Charleston, South Carolina, 209 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: for me to go to grad school at College at Charleston. 210 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: So I got accepted. We moved right after we got married. 211 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: Melinda got a teaching job. I got a job caddying 212 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: the ocean course on the side. 213 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 2: He made more money caddying than I made. 214 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a golfer. Yeah, he was a golf 215 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: caddy for a year while I went to grad school. 216 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: But in grad school I quickly realized this is not 217 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: what I want to do. 218 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:23,680 Speaker 3: So I've gotten married, I've moved to Charleston, all because 219 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 3: this is what I'm going to do, and you know what. 220 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: That's not what I want to do. Yep, all of 221 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: a sudden. But the cool part of the story is 222 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: we got plugged in with a church. So we both 223 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: grew up in church going to church. But I think 224 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,719 Speaker 1: both of our stories, our faith stories, center around our 225 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: college years is where we really made the decision to 226 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,560 Speaker 1: have a more serious faith and follow Jesus. In college, yeah, 227 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: both of us in college. Yeah yeah, kind of yeah, 228 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: for sure. So we both kind of grew up going 229 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: to church, but it wasn't a huge thing, at least 230 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 1: for me. You know, I was a junior in college, 231 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: got involved in a local Bible study, and then so 232 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: when we got married, we got involved in a really 233 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 1: great church in Charleston called Sea Coast Church. Just a 234 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: wonderful place, really formative for us. We were in a 235 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: small group with other young married couples and that was 236 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: for me a season where Okay, I'm not going to 237 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: be a history offestor. But I started feeling this call 238 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 1: into being a pastor. So we were there for a year. 239 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: Then we decided to move back. Some friends of mine 240 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: moved back to Atlanta, Gwenett Snellville. Some friends of mine 241 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: were starting at church and they called and said, hey, 242 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: would you be part of it? So we were just 243 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 1: I mean we were twenty I was twenty three. We're 244 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,679 Speaker 1: like sure, but not knowing what. Yeah, sure, yeah, very 245 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: That's kind of like you'll get a theme for for 246 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: me at least? Is this when big things come up? 247 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm just kind of like a gut reaction chare. So 248 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: that's we just moved back to here. We'll start. 249 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 4: Sure, I'll go to seminary. 250 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: I went to visit a seminary mercery University in Atlanta, 251 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: showed up just to visit. I was like, I like 252 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: this place, I'll go here. So I went to seminary 253 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 1: for three years. When we moved back to Atlanta, got 254 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 1: a master's in divinity, and we all the same time 255 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: was working at this new church plant in Atlanta and 256 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: eventually went on staff full time there as a pastor. 257 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 3: So you married a guy that was going to be 258 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 3: a history professor. 259 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 2: I did I did. 260 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 3: Would you have taken a blonde date with a pastor? 261 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,559 Speaker 2: Oh? I think so? Yeah, well, yeah I would. 262 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 3: Have hope would have. Yeah. 263 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,079 Speaker 2: Our story is actually, as you're saying that about like 264 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 2: you're going to catch this theme, I'm like, oh, it 265 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: kind of always has been this theme in our life 266 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 2: of like we're like, let's just go for it. Let's 267 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 2: just see what happens. Like a year from our first date, 268 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 2: we were married, living in a different state. 269 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, it's beautiful. So you're back in Atlanta, 270 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 3: you're a pastor, you're a failed history professor, but popular 271 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 3: pastor going well, you're teaching, doing your thing, and y'all 272 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 3: are going through life and obviously faith is a huge 273 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 3: part of your life. And then I think you have 274 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 3: a kid or something. Right, we don. 275 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 2: Finished grad school. We both worked full time for a year, 276 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 2: and then Kate was born in two thousand and eight. 277 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 2: Two thousand and eight. Yeah, she's about to be sixteen 278 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: next month. 279 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 3: So then let's be honest. A lovely story, a love 280 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 3: story from people who were oddly right next to each other. 281 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 3: But and then you're starting off a wonderful but unremarkable life, 282 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 3: just doing your lives. Like most of us, right, and 283 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 3: you got a newborn baby at home. You're a pastor 284 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 3: at this Graystone church I think in Logansville, right, and 285 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 3: everything's going good. And then I've read somewhere it was 286 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 3: like you kind of look at each other and say, 287 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 3: is this what we're doing the rest of our lives? 288 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: It's a that you're you're spot on in the sense 289 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: of things were really good. I mean, Melinda was a teacher. 290 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,959 Speaker 1: I was a pastor of very stable jobs. We were 291 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: in this I mean, we grew up in this community 292 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,680 Speaker 1: and now we're living in this community. We have lots 293 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: of friends. Life is very kind of simple and comfortable. 294 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: Unremarkable is a great word, like things were good, but 295 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: we both. 296 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 3: Mean that at all. 297 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 4: No, No, I know exactly what you mean. 298 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 3: Peaceful, unremar exactly simple, yeah, h but fulfilling life. 299 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 4: Yea, yeah, it was great. 300 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we we we had good community, We 301 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: were we were doing meaningful stuff. It wasn't you know 302 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 1: the work of a pastor and the work of a teacher. 303 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 1: Would we would both say, are like two very noble callings. 304 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 1: And so we both felt that. But around that same time, 305 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: like two thousand and seven, two thousand and eight, we 306 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 1: did start to feel this, I don't know if this 307 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: is what the rest of our life. 308 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 4: Is, but what what is it? And we really didn't know. 309 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 4: We just like, how were you? I was twenty seven. 310 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 2: So it was almost thirty. 311 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, so there's there's three years between us almost. 312 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:54,520 Speaker 3: That's actually very normal. Yeah. I mean you get through 313 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 3: college and get your degrees, now you have a kid, 314 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 3: now you're married, now you're living here, and then you 315 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 3: wake up at third in your life and you're like, hmmm, 316 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 3: what else? You know? I think that's a normal feeling. Yeah. 317 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 3: But it's not like let's destroy our lives and go 318 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 3: do something crazy and start a commune. It's just we're 319 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 3: looking for something else. Yeah. 320 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 2: And we had been to other places. So we had 321 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 2: gone to the Dominican or public a lot worked with 322 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,040 Speaker 2: an orphanage there. 323 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 3: On mission trips and trips, yeah. 324 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 2: As part of his job with the church. And then 325 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 2: we went to South Africa the year before our daughter 326 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 2: Kate was born, so in two thousand and seven, right, Yeah, 327 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 2: And so that kind of stirred something in it because 328 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 2: the story there was like a pastor that kind of 329 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 2: like had a life similar to ours who recognized there 330 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 2: were a lot of tough things happening in his community, 331 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 2: and so he and his wife. So I think that 332 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 2: kind of stirred something in us, like what are we 333 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 2: doing in our own community for people who are different 334 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 2: than us? You know, how are we branching outside of something. 335 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 4: Different than Yeah, we had the conversation. 336 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, when we came home from that two thousand and 337 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:02,080 Speaker 1: seven trip to South Africa, we actually had the conversation 338 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 1: should should we moved to Africa? 339 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 4: I mean we did. We talked about it. 340 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 3: I'm glad nobody asked you because you would have said, sure, 341 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 3: why not? It sounds like that's kind of the deal there. 342 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: Probably honestly, probably we would have been yeah, let's let's go. 343 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 1: But we came back and said, what does it look 344 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: like for us to love our neighbors in our community 345 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 1: where we are? And we had the conversation where we 346 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 1: live in the suburbs. So we can't do that here. 347 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 3: And now a few messages from our general sponsors. But first, 348 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 3: I hope you'll follow us on all your favorite social 349 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 3: media channels where we share more powerful content from the 350 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 3: army we're at, army of normal folks on every channel 351 00:16:48,320 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 3: we'll be right back. What does what does Gwinnette County? 352 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 3: Am I pronouncing that right? Yeah? What does Gwinnett County 353 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,880 Speaker 3: look like? From a what's a demographic? Yeah? 354 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:24,120 Speaker 1: Sure, so so a million people in in Gwenett County. Big, 355 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: it's big, it's big. It's the it's the second largest 356 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: county in Georgia. So that where close, it's it's not 357 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 1: it's not Buckhead, it's so we're we're just north northeast 358 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,720 Speaker 1: of Buckhead up the eighty five corridor going towards South Carolina. 359 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 1: But right, I mean there's there's five or six counties 360 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,879 Speaker 1: that make up Metro Atlanta. Gwenett's the largest school system. 361 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 1: So when we grew up, it was ninety middle class 362 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: white families. Now it is majority minority community of a 363 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,400 Speaker 1: million people. The school system is you know, a majority 364 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:02,160 Speaker 1: Latino student the second largest graphics African American than Asian 365 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 1: American than white kids. So that's all changed in the 366 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 1: last twenty years. I mean the county is just booming, exploding. 367 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 1: As Atlanta has grown, this has become it's affordable, I 368 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: mean affordable living. 369 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,479 Speaker 4: It's not anything fancy. It's very middle class. 370 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: You know, in most places but we still felt this 371 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: sense of like there's just like a lot of people 372 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: like us. 373 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 4: This is two thousand and eight. 374 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 1: So when we were to South Africa, we're like, well, 375 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: we see people that are you know, or we saw 376 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: communities where people are struggling to make ends meet. Right, 377 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: we don't come back home and we didn't see that. Well, 378 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,639 Speaker 1: we didn't see it because we were just a little 379 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: blind you know, like we just had had blinders on. 380 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 1: Not anything that we're doing intentionally, but just how we 381 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: grew up. You know, we grew up in where we 382 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: knew people that look like us. 383 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 3: Listen, dude, within ten miles of where you're sitting right now, 384 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,879 Speaker 3: there are people on abject property. And within ten miles 385 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 3: of where you're sitting right now, there's million dollar homes 386 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,400 Speaker 3: lined right on and neither of them see each other, 387 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,400 Speaker 3: and they're separated by twenty miles, which is sick. It's 388 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 3: just a reality. 389 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know where to go, like, you know 390 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,919 Speaker 2: where people are who are like you, and you just 391 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,119 Speaker 2: kind of drive through other places. 392 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 3: And we are clannish. 393 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, you just sort of choose not to notice. I 394 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 2: don't know somehow you just don't know us. 395 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,600 Speaker 1: I mean that is the story of how how we 396 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:24,040 Speaker 1: got into this work is. It's all connected. Melenna and 397 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 1: I are, our families are from the same place. 398 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 4: We have. 399 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: We have ancestors buried in cemeteries near where we live 400 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: the day, I mean the dates you're like eighteen twenty, 401 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 1: eighteen forty, like they've been there forever. 402 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 4: Like we are like the. 403 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: Most normal white people from Georgia you've ever met. But 404 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: we grew up only knowing people like us. There was 405 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 1: a little bit of diversity in our schools, but we 406 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: didn't have any friends that were different than us. It 407 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,439 Speaker 1: wasn't until we were adults traveling overseas getting exposed to 408 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 1: people who are who are very different than us, that 409 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,879 Speaker 1: we started to kind of see a bigger picture. So 410 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: we come home, we so looking around, we still got 411 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 1: these blinders on. We're driving down the same roads, We're 412 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,400 Speaker 1: going to the same restaurants. Well, there's a mobile home 413 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 1: park three miles from where we live that I we 414 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 1: had both driven past for thirty years and never knew 415 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 1: it was there. 416 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 2: Like for both of us to go to the University 417 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 2: of Georgia from where we grew up, we had to 418 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 2: drive out this mobile home park like I. 419 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,119 Speaker 1: Mean, I would say a thousand times, like we've driven 420 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 1: past it and never even knew it was there until 421 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 1: this one day in two thousand. 422 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,400 Speaker 4: And eight when we drove in. Why'd you drive in? 423 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 4: So we were so we. 424 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:41,440 Speaker 1: Were the typical, you know, white, middle class suburban church. 425 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 1: At Christmas time, everyone said, well we should do a 426 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:49,159 Speaker 1: good deed, and so our church. My role at the 427 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: church was some community partnerships. We reached out to a 428 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 1: local food ministry and said, hey, how can we help 429 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 1: some families at Christmas? And the food ministry came to 430 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: us to said, hey, well we're doing a Christmas gift 431 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 1: sponsorship program for some kids in the community. And we 432 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: signed up our small group from church, some other young 433 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 1: families we signed up. We said, hey, well we picked 434 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: up this piece of paper, we'll sponsor this family. 435 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 4: Didn't know anything. We just grabbed a piece of paper. 436 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 1: Or our small group came to Mondon and I and 437 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: said we pulled some money together. They nominated us to 438 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:25,399 Speaker 1: deliver the gifts. So one afternoon evening in December of 439 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: two thousand and eight, we pulled out the sheet and 440 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,359 Speaker 1: we look at the address. I don't even think that 441 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: there was like we didn't plug in GPS, and I'm 442 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,159 Speaker 1: not sure. I think we just I think we just 443 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: pulled it up on a map and said, oh, we'll drive. 444 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we'll drive, we'll deliver the gifts. So we 445 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,880 Speaker 1: left our house and drove five minutes down the road 446 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,680 Speaker 1: and we turned into this mobile home park and both 447 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: versus like, wow, we never knew this was here, driven 448 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: past one thousand times. So we drive in and we 449 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: both have the feeling that we're driving into another country. 450 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 1: So we have been to La in America a lot, 451 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 1: and it felt like we were driving into Latin America. 452 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,439 Speaker 1: So we turn on the street and they're you know, 453 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:12,440 Speaker 1: smells of you know, people grilling out music. You felt 454 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,239 Speaker 1: like we were driving into Mexico. And turns out, I mean, 455 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: almost all of the residents in this neighborhood are first 456 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,679 Speaker 1: generation Mexican immigrants. So we drove to the address, knocked 457 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 1: on the door, single wide mobile home. 458 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 3: We go in. 459 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,639 Speaker 1: Parents don't speak English, kids running around they speak English. 460 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: So we're talking to the kids, trying to kind of 461 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: tell them what we're doing for the translating. Yeah, they're translating, 462 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: and we're feeling a little awkward. I mean, a lot awkward, 463 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 1: probably of like, this feels a little weird. I don't 464 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,160 Speaker 1: even I mean, I don't remember what we talked about 465 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,400 Speaker 1: that first we had Christmas gifts and we delivered them. 466 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 2: I think more than anything, we felt very awkward. It 467 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,959 Speaker 2: felt really awkward to show up in a space with 468 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 2: stuff to give people, but the relationships somehow mixed, like 469 00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 2: we mixed like it was a good connection. Yeah, it 470 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,160 Speaker 2: was a good connection with the people, like a relational connection, 471 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 2: like we enjoyed our time. They are translating with the 472 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 2: mom and practicing our Spanish. 473 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, we knew some Spanish from some short term ships, 474 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:11,400 Speaker 1: so we have to talk a little bit. 475 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. So it felt weird that we were bringing gifts 476 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,199 Speaker 2: into the house, you know, with everyone there. But there 477 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 2: was a relational connection, and so when we left, we 478 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 2: were like, why don't we come back and visit non 479 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 2: gift connected, like just as people having a conversation. 480 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 3: It's my contention that there are a lot of well intentioned, 481 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,159 Speaker 3: well meaning people in the world that would like to 482 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:40,160 Speaker 3: do something good, but that awkwardness and candidly fear of 483 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,360 Speaker 3: going into a neighborhood like that, and fear of the unknown, 484 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:49,879 Speaker 3: fear of what you see on TV. Fear of societal 485 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 3: preconceived notions and then the awkwardness of language barriers or 486 00:23:55,800 --> 00:24:00,679 Speaker 3: the awkwardness of not understanding a culture or whatever privet 487 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 3: people from even making the trip of the first place. Well, 488 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,720 Speaker 3: it teach people that want to do something well, but 489 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 3: fear and awkwardness and all of that privet them from 490 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 3: even going. 491 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 4: Sure, you agree with that one hundred percent. 492 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,119 Speaker 1: I think we experience, we lived it, but we just 493 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: I think that some of our experience again overseas kind 494 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,879 Speaker 1: of kind of helped us push through some of that fear. 495 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: But when we had the conversation when we left that 496 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: first visit of like should should we come back? 497 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 4: Like is should we? 498 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 1: This is an uncomfortable feeling, but we just decided, I 499 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 1: don't even know what our words were to each other 500 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 1: when we left, but it was this, it was this 501 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 1: equally agreed upon thing that one percent we're going to 502 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:47,200 Speaker 1: come back. 503 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,159 Speaker 2: It's an interesting thing to look back on the story 504 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,440 Speaker 2: now because now it's like, oh, we kind of see 505 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 2: how the path was going, But back then it was 506 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,119 Speaker 2: just like the next step, like it'd be weird if 507 00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,119 Speaker 2: we didn't show back up, you know, like We've had 508 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,640 Speaker 2: a great time visiting with this family, Like why would 509 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,159 Speaker 2: we not come back and ever see them again? That 510 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 2: will be so weird. And so then we came back 511 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 2: and then it was maybe a couple of months later, 512 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,640 Speaker 2: several visits later that you know, we kin't of the 513 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,800 Speaker 2: family said to us like, hey, could you help with homework? 514 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,200 Speaker 2: You know, the mom said, I really want my kids 515 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 2: to do well in school, but because of the language barrier, 516 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 2: I'm struggling to help them with their homework. And then 517 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 2: on that visit, we kind of realized that a lot 518 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 2: of the older siblings had had a hard time staying 519 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,199 Speaker 2: in school, and you know, things had been challenging, but 520 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 2: the younger kids had all these big hopes and dreams 521 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 2: for their lives, like I want to be a teacher, 522 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 2: I want to be a nurse, I want to do 523 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 2: all these things. And so you're kind of looking at 524 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 2: these two things of like this path hasn't worked out 525 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 2: for your older siblings. You have these hopes and dreams. 526 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 2: And so I was like, I know how to tutor kid, 527 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,399 Speaker 2: so we can't yes yeah, like I can, I can 528 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,200 Speaker 2: say yesterday. 529 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,159 Speaker 3: So you also have the GIP. Sounds good thing just 530 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 3: like Jim, Yeah, let's go back before that just a 531 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 3: little bit. I don't know where I read it or 532 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,479 Speaker 3: saw it, and I can't find out my note, So 533 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna wing it and let you tell me 534 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,800 Speaker 3: it was. Toxic philanthropy is not the term you used. 535 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 3: What is the term? 536 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 4: So the toxic charity? 537 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,640 Speaker 3: Toxic charity? Sorry, yeah, tell me what you mean when 538 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 3: you say toxic charity. 539 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 4: Yeah. 540 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 1: So in two thousand and eight we didn't know what 541 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,720 Speaker 1: it was. The next few years we learned this phrase. 542 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 1: It's actually from a book written by a guy in 543 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: Atlanta named Bob Lopton wrote a book called Toxic Charity. 544 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: He spent nearly forty years living in inner city Atlanta, 545 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: working alongside his neighbors, helping to, you know, just bring 546 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: about change in the community. And he learned what toxic 547 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: charity was by experience, and then he wrote a book 548 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,719 Speaker 1: and shared it with others and essentially was the name 549 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,120 Speaker 1: of the toxic charity. That's the name of the book. 550 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 1: What's the gentleman's name, Bob Lupton? Bob l U P 551 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: t O N. Lopton. 552 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 4: So, so, toxic charity. 553 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 1: The idea is actually this idea of delivering Christmas presents 554 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 1: to kids because it makes you feel good, but it 555 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 1: is not helpful. So doing essentially toxic charity is the 556 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,440 Speaker 1: idea of doing things the person who is the the 557 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: on the giving end, doing things that make them feel 558 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,119 Speaker 1: good that have have no real benefit for the person 559 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,239 Speaker 1: on the receiving end. So doing things without asking what 560 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: do you actually need? Making assumptions of what people need. So, 561 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 1: you know, Christians across the world historically have done a 562 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 1: you know, done this badly, and so we're trying. 563 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,760 Speaker 4: To be part of a This is two thousand and eight. 564 00:27:54,800 --> 00:28:01,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, so now the three of us are interconnected. When 565 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 3: I started coaching at Manassas in two thousand and seven, 566 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 3: and many of our listeners have heard the story, you 567 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,879 Speaker 3: have not, so I'm gonna go through it quickly, but 568 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,919 Speaker 3: I want you to know it ended up on a 569 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 3: billboard in Toms Square, and I ended it up on 570 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 3: the What Was Up Girl's Name? Show? I was on 571 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:26,080 Speaker 3: the Kelly Clarkson Show about this very thing. My terminology 572 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,840 Speaker 3: is different because my terminology comes straight out of the hood. 573 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 3: And it was halfway through my first season we were 574 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 3: three wins and three losses. I understand. I think that's average, 575 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 3: but the school's previous ten years record was four wins 576 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:45,240 Speaker 3: in ninety five losses. They're terrible. So your first season 577 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 3: when you're three and three, pretty good by comparison. And 578 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 3: when I first got to Manassas, I really started understanding 579 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 3: that it was time to teach a lot of stuff 580 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:01,640 Speaker 3: other than football, basic and fundamentals of how to carry 581 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 3: your life long after the days of the game is over. 582 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 3: And so we were teaching character, commitment, integrity, teamwork, value 583 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 3: of hard work, the dignity of being on time, these 584 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 3: type of things. And halfway through the season where three 585 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 3: and three, and while the whole football team was buying 586 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 3: in the football stuff, the minute practice or game were over, 587 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 3: they're back in the streets engaged in the same kind 588 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 3: of destructive behavior that got them metaphorically to four ninety 589 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 3: five in life, the other half the team was buying in. Well. 590 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 3: I was frustrated. So once to my guy. Every coach 591 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 3: has a guy, and I said, hey, man, what I 592 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 3: got to do to get that half the team to 593 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,480 Speaker 3: buy into the important stuff? Like you're after team, y'all 594 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 3: are all into the football, but only half of your 595 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 3: and the important stuff. And he he was the guy 596 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 3: that had a lot of conversations with early, the real chats, 597 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 3: you know that really open your mind and help you 598 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 3: understand a culture that you don't know. Kind of like 599 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 3: the mobile home park that's three minutes from your house 600 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 3: is down the road that you've never seen and even 601 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 3: though you've passed over for twenty years, that culture that 602 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 3: I also had driven past before I started coaching in it. 603 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 3: And I said, what do I got to do to 604 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 3: get that half team to buy and important stuff like 605 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,640 Speaker 3: her have the team? And he said, oh, coach, just 606 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 3: keep doing what you're doing dismissively. You have children, you 607 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 3: know the tone when they don't want to talk to you. 608 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, man, real talk And he said, 609 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,600 Speaker 3: I don't want hurt your feelings and I said, real talk. 610 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 3: He said, Coach, you're trying to figure out if you're 611 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 3: a Turkey person or not. And I said what And 612 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 3: he said, Coach, every Thanksgiving him Christmas people roll into 613 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,480 Speaker 3: our neighborhoods and they give us hands and gifts in turkeys, 614 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 3: and we take them because we ain't got none. But 615 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 3: that they leave and we never see them again makes 616 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 3: you wonder if they're doing that because they really care 617 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 3: about us, so they're doing that to make themselves feel good. 618 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 3: And he looked me dead in the eyes and he said, Coach, really, man, 619 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 3: what the hell are you doing here? It was one 620 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 3: of the more defining moments of my life. I was 621 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 3: there every single day. I was coaching every day. I 622 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:10,160 Speaker 3: went back every single day. I was there taking time 623 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,480 Speaker 3: away from Lisa, the children. I was spending my money there, 624 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 3: I was doing everything I could. And still there's a 625 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 3: segment of these kids that weren't buying into the important 626 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 3: stuff because they weren't buying into me. And it's not 627 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 3: you know, I think if you serve as soup kitchens 628 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,680 Speaker 3: or whatever, it's a beautiful thing. The story is not 629 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:35,440 Speaker 3: about giving gifts at Christmas. It's about what's your motivation? 630 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,440 Speaker 3: What are you motivated by? Are you motivated by the 631 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 3: simple edification of someone who's not as blessed as you? 632 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 3: Or are you motivated by making yourself feel good and 633 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 3: the way it elevates you among your own peers who 634 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 3: see you doing something nice for these poor folks down here. 635 00:31:51,560 --> 00:32:03,760 Speaker 3: And I really realize them. The consistency and the proper 636 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 3: motivations giving credit where credits due and not taking credit 637 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 3: for things that are going well, but giving credit to 638 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 3: the people who are doing the work to actually improve 639 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 3: their lives and all of those things was the only 640 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 3: way you were ever yearly going to make any difference 641 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 3: or change. I'll tell you this story because I never 642 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 3: knew the word toxic charity before I read this thing 643 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 3: this weekend about you guys. But when I read it, 644 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 3: I said, that is Turkey people. That is the Turkey 645 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 3: person's story. So when did I e toxic charity and 646 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 3: Turkey person? When did that reality hit your mind and 647 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 3: your heart when you said, oh my gosh, we're doing 648 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 3: this all wrong. I know when it hit me. 649 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 2: I just told you, Sophia. 650 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, so yeah, and all that money. 651 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 3: By the way, is that not crazy? Not havingwo thousand 652 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 3: and seven year before you year. 653 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,400 Speaker 4: Two thousand and seven. 654 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 1: Listen, when you're sharing that story, I mean, I'm getting 655 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 1: choked up because it is almost exactly the same. 656 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 3: We'll be right back. 657 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 4: The Turkey people is toxic charity. 658 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: I mean that's exactly we were, Like we were our 659 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 1: first interaction was through this Christmas gift, and you know, 660 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,960 Speaker 1: it's hard to what our motivations were at the moment, 661 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: Like but recognizing that the people on the receiving end 662 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,480 Speaker 1: of those turkeys or those Christmas gifts. 663 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,400 Speaker 4: Can feel it. They know exactly what it is. 664 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:51,320 Speaker 1: This kid knew exactly and his words, Yeah, his words 665 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 1: were prophetic, I mean the sense of like. So in 666 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,920 Speaker 1: two thousand and nine, the same thing happened to us. 667 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: I'll let Melinda share because she was the she is 668 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 1: the actual participant. 669 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 3: Sure of the billboard, all right, I want to show them, Yeah, 670 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 3: are you tearing. 671 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 2: Up well to hear your story? Because it is so 672 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,760 Speaker 2: similar and that moment is so profound and so important, 673 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,400 Speaker 2: and it's so hard when you kind of turn a 674 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 2: mirror on the jump in your own life, you know, 675 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,319 Speaker 2: you recognize, like, oh, man, I was doing some things 676 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 2: for the wrong reason because it felt good to me, 677 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,120 Speaker 2: but not necessarily. 678 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:24,960 Speaker 3: Make you feel like such a hypocride. 679 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,359 Speaker 2: It does, but then there's such beauty on. You have 680 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,040 Speaker 2: to go through that to be able to do the 681 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 2: beautiful work. But for us, we had been tear down, 682 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 2: set up doing homework help and it was a chaotic, 683 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 2: crazy thing. 684 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,120 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Let me connect you two two thousand and nine. 685 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:46,640 Speaker 3: I just chronologically so Mom says, can you help with homework? 686 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 3: You say yes, I think so for the next period 687 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,239 Speaker 3: little period of time, you're actually going in giving your 688 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,719 Speaker 3: time and helping her children with homework because you see 689 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,359 Speaker 3: their bright eyes and dreams and you don't want them 690 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 3: to end up like the older kids who now dropped 691 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 3: out of school and are kind of staring at life 692 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 3: with a blank stare. So that's what you're doing. 693 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,240 Speaker 2: We're doing that. And so what's happening is their family 694 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,720 Speaker 2: gets really excited about the homework help, and so they 695 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 2: are telling other families in the neighborhood there are these 696 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 2: people who are coming to help with homework. So people 697 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,319 Speaker 2: are bringing their kids every week for homework help. I 698 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,200 Speaker 2: had a lot of teacher friends who had just had 699 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 2: babies who were staying home. So I'm just randomly calling 700 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,680 Speaker 2: my friends, people who are retired, anybody who will come. 701 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,319 Speaker 2: So each week, we don't know how many volunteers are coming, 702 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 2: and we don't know how many kids are coming, because 703 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,920 Speaker 2: there really wasn't We just jumped like we just. 704 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 3: You really have an organization, people trying to help people. 705 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 2: Showing up, and so it was just incredibly chaotic. But 706 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:46,440 Speaker 2: we're building some really neat relationships with some families and 707 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 2: like a core group of girls who were like fifth 708 00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,000 Speaker 2: and sixth grade and kind of gotten to know and 709 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,600 Speaker 2: so so Fia is one of those girls. And so 710 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 2: one day we'd done homework and I was kind of 711 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 2: walking the girls home and she looks at me and 712 00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 2: she said this, Melinda, when. 713 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:00,279 Speaker 3: Are you leave? Thing? 714 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,399 Speaker 2: And I'm like, like today, Like what do you mean? 715 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,959 Speaker 2: And she said, no, no, No, that's what churches do. They come, 716 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,400 Speaker 2: they stay for a little while, they leave and we 717 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 2: never see them. 718 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:13,839 Speaker 3: Oh whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Say that again. This is 719 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:18,120 Speaker 3: everybody listening to USTs to hear what you just said again. Yeah, 720 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:19,680 Speaker 3: it is profound. 721 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,359 Speaker 2: Sophia has proven to be such a prophetic person over 722 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,800 Speaker 2: the years in the work that we do like her. 723 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 2: Her view of the neighborhood is so clear and simple. 724 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,280 Speaker 2: And but anyway, she said, when are you leaving? 725 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 3: When are you She looked you and said, hey, thanks 726 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 3: for the homework. Out When are you out? Yeah, basically, 727 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:38,520 Speaker 3: when are you going to bowl? 728 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 2: Right, because we're just doing this set up, you know, 729 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:45,240 Speaker 2: in the office of the neighborhood whatever, and so I'm 730 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 2: totally confused by the question. So she says, when are 731 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,479 Speaker 2: you leaving? That's what churches do. They come, they stay 732 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,120 Speaker 2: for a while, they leave, we never see them. 733 00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 3: That's what churches do. 734 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 2: That's what churches do. 735 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:59,360 Speaker 1: Specifically, her life experience had shown her that white people 736 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,760 Speaker 1: Christian church, some churches come in and they're the Turkey people. 737 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 1: So this is her way of saying, are you just 738 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 1: coming to do the thing to make you feel good? 739 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:12,960 Speaker 3: Yeah? When are you leaving? Yeah? How long have you 740 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:13,480 Speaker 3: been there? 741 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:17,319 Speaker 2: To that point, we'd probably known her six months, Yeah, 742 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,920 Speaker 2: two weeks old. Okay, it's reasonable, but we've gotten to 743 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,400 Speaker 2: know her past just a one time thing. So she 744 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,280 Speaker 2: just kind of, I guess, wanted to know how bested 745 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,360 Speaker 2: she should be. And the question totally shocked me. I 746 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 2: was not expecting it. We put there was no strategic plan. 747 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 2: I said, I'm gonna be here till you graduate. Like 748 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,160 Speaker 2: that was my quick. 749 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 3: Well, there's a gymnasm. Yeah, it's good, I'll be here 750 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 3: to graduate, thinking that whatever. 751 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,880 Speaker 2: An important part of our life. But you know, she 752 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 2: was fifth grade when she makes this really profound stay. 753 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:49,880 Speaker 3: She was fifth grade when she said that. 754 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 2: She that's when I think that we had a baby 755 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,480 Speaker 2: at home. So she seemed very old, you know, like 756 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,440 Speaker 2: she seemed like an adult, but she was fifth sixth 757 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 2: grade saying such a. 758 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 3: Thing when she said, well, that's what churches do. Do 759 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 3: you remember your immediate I'm talking about right then, your 760 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:08,880 Speaker 3: immediate punch. 761 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 2: I've never been punched, but if I had to predict 762 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 2: what it would feel like if someone punched me, that 763 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:14,800 Speaker 2: was like took the windown. 764 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,279 Speaker 3: That's exactly how I felt. Yeah, when I heard the 765 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,040 Speaker 3: turkey person thing, I was like, oh my gosh. 766 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, it shifts your brain. And that same story has 767 00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,880 Speaker 2: played out in every neighborhood where we work. At some 768 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,759 Speaker 2: point in time, there is a kid who shows up 769 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,879 Speaker 2: to the person in charge there and says, how long 770 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:32,680 Speaker 2: is this going to last? 771 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 3: For it's because inconsistency is so common and consistency is uncommon, 772 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:46,280 Speaker 3: and obviously, until you approve your consistency, you're just more noise. 773 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,319 Speaker 3: And that is, unfortunately the reality. But that is not 774 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:54,560 Speaker 3: our fault. That is the conditions created by folks who 775 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 3: live in the world we're talking about serving, and people 776 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 3: have to understand that you were going to be met 777 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:05,200 Speaker 3: with an error of skepticism because that's what everybody else 778 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:08,920 Speaker 3: has always shown this community, which is something we have 779 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:14,840 Speaker 3: to drop our egos, drop our sensibilities at the door, 780 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,600 Speaker 3: and look at it for what it really is and 781 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 3: understand you are up against that at the beginning. So 782 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,960 Speaker 3: for all our listeners, if you go to Army and 783 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 3: Normal Folks website, I think this picture is still on 784 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,799 Speaker 3: the top of it. But this past Thanksgiving, this was 785 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,319 Speaker 3: in Times Square. Wow. 786 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 2: I love that. That is really great. 787 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, talking about your story and I didn't even know 788 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:50,200 Speaker 3: it right now, which I absolutely love for everybody listening, 789 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,240 Speaker 3: I just showed them picture of the billboard that Alex 790 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 3: had put up in Tom Square that simply says, don't 791 00:39:56,239 --> 00:40:02,200 Speaker 3: be a Turkey person. That was on up there this Thanksgiving. 792 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:06,319 Speaker 3: While we were real connected, we really are connected in 793 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:10,279 Speaker 3: terms of our belief set. So you said, well until 794 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,640 Speaker 3: your graduates, so now you're stuck. Yeah, so I go, huh. 795 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:17,719 Speaker 3: Ironically enough, I promised the kids that were coming into 796 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,960 Speaker 3: manassas As I was trying to get them to quit 797 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,759 Speaker 3: leaving their neighborhood and go to other schools. I was 798 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,360 Speaker 3: trying to get them to come and stay at their 799 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,799 Speaker 3: neighborhood school, Manassas as ninth graders to build this football team. 800 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:31,240 Speaker 3: And I promised them they came to Manasses in ninth grade. 801 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,280 Speaker 3: I didn't know how long i'd coach them an Assas, 802 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,759 Speaker 3: but I swore to them I would coach them through 803 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:42,040 Speaker 3: their graduation. Oddly enough, so that was also my barometer, 804 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:49,759 Speaker 3: was their graduation, which I did. Crazy the parallels that 805 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,240 Speaker 3: exist here. So now you're in Yeah. 806 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,920 Speaker 2: And I go home that night and tell Jim, I 807 00:40:56,080 --> 00:41:01,200 Speaker 2: just committed us. Like this is long haul. We're here 808 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,800 Speaker 2: minimum until Sophia graduates, so we've got six years. We're 809 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,359 Speaker 2: okay with that. Like we never talked that how long 810 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 2: we were going to stay, but it's just sort of 811 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,680 Speaker 2: each little step seemed to make sense. 812 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, our personalities are you know, maybe the time we 813 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,480 Speaker 1: didn't realize this, we've learned being married for twenty one years, 814 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:21,440 Speaker 1: our personalities are different and that's good in a lot 815 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,200 Speaker 1: of ways. And so when Melnda comes home and says 816 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,480 Speaker 1: we're I just committed us forever. I mean really, my 817 00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:31,200 Speaker 1: response is awesome, Like let's do it, you know, Like, no, 818 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,680 Speaker 1: I didn't have any any big like I am this 819 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:34,840 Speaker 1: just okay. 820 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,239 Speaker 4: Got reaction. Our story over and over it goes. 821 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:42,160 Speaker 1: Melinda's the one that gets this message, whether it be 822 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,840 Speaker 1: from Sophia, I mean we would, we would we believe 823 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,720 Speaker 1: that it's i mean, God speaking in different ways through people. 824 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,839 Speaker 1: But Melinda's the one that here's this you know thing, 825 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,759 Speaker 1: and then she comes to me and says, should we 826 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:52,920 Speaker 1: do it? 827 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:54,279 Speaker 4: And I'm always just like, yeah, let's do it. 828 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,160 Speaker 3: So what does do it look like? Yeah? 829 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:04,160 Speaker 1: So, right around that same time when when Sofia asked 830 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,760 Speaker 1: this profound question to Melinda, we were doing a weekly 831 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,280 Speaker 1: homework program in the community office. So it's a community 832 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,960 Speaker 1: of two hundred and twenty mobile homes, you know, a 833 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,600 Speaker 1: couple hundred kids in the neighborhood. We were meeting with 834 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,279 Speaker 1: forty or fifty a week. This is our kind of 835 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 1: our good deed, we thought. Melinda talks to Sofia, we 836 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,759 Speaker 1: have this profound thing. Right around the same time, a 837 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,600 Speaker 1: shooting happens in one of the homes in this community 838 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,360 Speaker 1: we had just started. So the shooting happened on a 839 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 1: Sunday Sunday night. That Sunday morning was the first time 840 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,480 Speaker 1: I stood up in front of our church and invited 841 00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:46,560 Speaker 1: people to come with us. So I say, hey, come 842 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:50,840 Speaker 1: with us and show up, do some homework really simple. 843 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,640 Speaker 1: That night, there's a shooting, So then it was only 844 00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,439 Speaker 1: everybody at church that was considered is like, yeah, well yeah, 845 00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,960 Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm anka shot. And we have the 846 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,520 Speaker 1: same conversation. We looked at her and said, we just 847 00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,320 Speaker 1: invited people come in this neighborhood and there's a shooting. 848 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 1: And we sat with our small group from church that 849 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,279 Speaker 1: week and said, should should we even go back? It 850 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,279 Speaker 1: wasn't I mean, it really wasn't a question. It was 851 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,799 Speaker 1: more of a rhetorical question of like, well, how do 852 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:18,399 Speaker 1: we go back? 853 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:21,400 Speaker 3: But what are we into? Right? What does happen? What 854 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:22,120 Speaker 3: we understood? 855 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,640 Speaker 4: That's right, you know, hearing our story. 856 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,319 Speaker 1: Neither one of us grew up in a place where 857 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:31,040 Speaker 1: shooting shootings happened. But three miles down the road is 858 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,279 Speaker 1: a neighborhood where a shooting happened. It was a drug 859 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,759 Speaker 1: deal So in the middle of the night, some drug 860 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,560 Speaker 1: dealers came in and shot up a trailer full of 861 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,360 Speaker 1: other drug dealers, And so we we hear. 862 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 4: About it on the news. 863 00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,080 Speaker 1: We show up again for homework that week and the 864 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,920 Speaker 1: kids are telling us about it. Kids living next door like, hey, 865 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,920 Speaker 1: I heard the bullets. Well, I mean, our mind is 866 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,839 Speaker 1: just kind of blown and we're scared, but we did. 867 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,719 Speaker 2: Very unqualified, like we feel completely unqualified. 868 00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,000 Speaker 1: We are we are the most I mean, you can 869 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:04,160 Speaker 1: see it. We are the most like like suburban like 870 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,239 Speaker 1: white people you've ever met, Like. 871 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:11,360 Speaker 3: We are you cognizant of the trauma for these coats. 872 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:12,040 Speaker 4: I think so. 873 00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,880 Speaker 1: I think I mean to an extent that we could empathize, 874 00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 1: like hearing from their mouths, hey there is this there's. 875 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,920 Speaker 3: Children are not supposed to say, hey, our bullets. 876 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,359 Speaker 1: They're just not And we have our own little baby 877 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:29,080 Speaker 1: at home and we're like, oh my gosh, what if 878 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,200 Speaker 1: that was her or us or you know, friends that 879 00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 1: we have. 880 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,319 Speaker 4: I mean, so it does you you hear it. 881 00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,400 Speaker 2: I think the thing that struck me by when the 882 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 2: kids told the story was that they knew what to do, 883 00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:41,000 Speaker 2: you know. 884 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,560 Speaker 3: Like it they knew what to do when shots do when. 885 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:46,560 Speaker 2: They heard the shots, they need to roll onto the floor, 886 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,160 Speaker 2: you know. And I think that that is. 887 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,640 Speaker 3: The thing that that's really interesting. 888 00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:53,600 Speaker 2: They knew what to do. 889 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,200 Speaker 3: Some months ago I interviewed a guy named Marshaye Cooper, 890 00:44:57,239 --> 00:45:02,359 Speaker 3: and I dropped his name a lot in conversations. When 891 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:10,160 Speaker 3: these things come up. You're crying why, I think. 892 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,960 Speaker 2: It's interesting to always go back and think about the 893 00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,800 Speaker 2: you know, like in the moments, we were just busy, 894 00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:21,080 Speaker 2: and I think the longer I've done this work, reflecting 895 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,360 Speaker 2: on it feels different now. You know, in the moment 896 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,200 Speaker 2: of doing it, you're just like, we got to show up, 897 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:31,200 Speaker 2: their kids coming for homework. I think I'm thankful that 898 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:35,520 Speaker 2: we didn't quit back then. I think that's a feeling 899 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,319 Speaker 2: that I have when I go back and remember those 900 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,839 Speaker 2: hard moments, or you ask about the. 901 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,239 Speaker 1: Trauma, Well, we talked about we talked about quitting. I 902 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,560 Speaker 1: mean people people told us we should quit. Yeah, it's 903 00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:50,279 Speaker 1: too dangerous. What are you doing? And and frankly it 904 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:56,680 Speaker 1: became those people. Those people to use the phrase and 905 00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:58,200 Speaker 1: you can delete this out if you want to, but 906 00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,840 Speaker 1: to use the phrase they these people are legal immigrants, 907 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,680 Speaker 1: they are they're undocumented. 908 00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,080 Speaker 4: I mean I think you would, but I mean. 909 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,319 Speaker 1: Like if if you when we're not political, people like 910 00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,719 Speaker 1: but at the time, we didn't, Like there was a 911 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:15,080 Speaker 1: large group of people that were like, do not help 912 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,719 Speaker 1: these people because they're illegal, And We're like, what in 913 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:19,359 Speaker 1: the world are. 914 00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:20,080 Speaker 4: You talking about. 915 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,080 Speaker 1: This is all happening at the same time shooting people, 916 00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,520 Speaker 1: push giving us push back, these are illegal immigrants, like 917 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,120 Speaker 1: they shouldn't even be here, Like why should you help 918 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,480 Speaker 1: these kids? And and and and and Melinda's hearing from Sophia, 919 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:32,799 Speaker 1: and all these things are happening. And then we show 920 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,720 Speaker 1: up in the neighborhood and the and the property manager 921 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,359 Speaker 1: the week after the shooting looks at me and says, hey, 922 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,440 Speaker 1: do you want the trailer where the shooting happened? 923 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,120 Speaker 4: And I just said sure. 924 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:50,239 Speaker 3: And that concludes Part one of my conversation with Jim 925 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,600 Speaker 3: and Melinda Hollinsworth. And guys, you don't want to miss 926 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:57,279 Speaker 3: part two that's now available to listen to, as you 927 00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:00,960 Speaker 3: will hear the absolutely crazy story of Jim getting the 928 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:06,160 Speaker 3: trailer and so much more. Together, guys, we can change 929 00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:09,520 Speaker 3: the country, but it starts with you. I'll see in 930 00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:10,440 Speaker 3: Part two.