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Speaker 1: All right, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And

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Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air Hop Hop, just

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Speaker 1: like you're going to read this one right here, right now,

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Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours. Never know.

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Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the Strawberry Letter. My

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Speaker 1: good friend Shirley Strawberry. Thank you, Junior. Subject he wants

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Speaker 1: to be seen but not heard. Dear Stephen, Shirley, my

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Speaker 1: husband and I are thirty four and we've been together

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Speaker 1: for nine years and married for three years. The only

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Speaker 1: reason we are married is because I gave him an

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Speaker 1: ultimatum after six years of dating. We needed to move

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Speaker 1: this thing forward or I was gone. He always had

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Speaker 1: been very full of himself and the women and his

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Speaker 1: family made him think he was God's gift to the

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Speaker 1: earth because he has eyes that change color, and he's

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Speaker 1: tall and very handsome. He's a natural flirt and I

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Speaker 1: tolerate it because I know that if he ever left me,

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Speaker 1: the woman would send him right back to me. Here's

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Speaker 1: the problem. He's not a manly man outside of the bedroom.

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Speaker 1: He can really show out in that bedroom, but after

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Speaker 1: that he's like having a child. All he cares about

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Speaker 1: is getting the latest trendy clothes, getting the newest watchers

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Speaker 1: or sneakers, and keeping his car clean and shiny outside

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Speaker 1: looking in. He's got his stuff together, but boy, oh boy,

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Speaker 1: is he trifling. He's got a great job and he's

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Speaker 1: in a leadership position, but his manager talks to him

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Speaker 1: like a child and doesn't allow him to speak up

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Speaker 1: and make his opinions known. His manager has even told

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Speaker 1: him that he's not paid to think. You know. As

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Speaker 1: soon as I heard that, I wanted to call his

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Speaker 1: job and speak to his manager, but I had to

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Speaker 1: realize he's my husband and not my son. I want

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Speaker 1: him to focus less on how clean he is when

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Speaker 1: he goes to work and more on how he represents

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Speaker 1: himself when he is at work. The same thing goes

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Speaker 1: for our marriage. I need him over our finances, upkeep

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Speaker 1: of the house, maintenance of our vehicles, all the manly

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Speaker 1: stuff in a marriage. He'd rather be seen than heard

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Speaker 1: in every aspect of his life. It's been nine years

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Speaker 1: and I'm done enabling him. Should I keep planning a

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Speaker 1: life with this man? Or let this one go? Well,

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Speaker 1: it's funny you should ask that because you know you

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Speaker 1: gave him an ultimatum to marry you, and you knew

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Speaker 1: all this stuff before you married him. Did you really

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Speaker 1: want to marry this guy? Because it doesn't even seem

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Speaker 1: like it. You should be asking yourself why are you

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Speaker 1: acting like your husband's mother instead of his wife. Why

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Speaker 1: are you so critical of him? If he's as trifling

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Speaker 1: in as bad as you say he is, I don't

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Speaker 1: understand why you married him in the first place. Again,

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Speaker 1: these are the questions you should be asking yourself. You've

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Speaker 1: known him for a very long time, nine years. You

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Speaker 1: said he didn't just get like this, He's been like

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Speaker 1: this all along. Another question for you, why are you

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Speaker 1: trying to change him now? Could it be you're trying

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Speaker 1: to make him how you want him to be? For instance,

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Speaker 1: as far as the household chores go, you want him

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Speaker 1: to take over the finances, but what if he knows

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Speaker 1: nothing about finances? You want him to up keep the house.

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Speaker 1: Is he a handyman? If that's not going to happen,

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Speaker 1: get a proper handyman to do that kind of work.

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Speaker 1: If he's not a mechanic and you want more than

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Speaker 1: just gas and car washes, that's not going to happen either.

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Speaker 1: I think you need to manage your expectations of this

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Speaker 1: man you married, and you knew all about before you

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Speaker 1: married him. You're his wife, not his mother. Again, you

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Speaker 1: can't be calling up to his job checking his boss,

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Speaker 1: because the way he said his boss spoke to him,

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Speaker 1: that's for him to do. You said he was a leader, right,

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Speaker 1: You said that in your letter, that your husband is

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Speaker 1: a leader. Well let him lead. It sounds like you

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Speaker 1: wanted desperately to marry him, you know, thinking he would change.

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Speaker 1: He didn't change. He's the same man you dated for

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Speaker 1: six years, and now you're realizing who he really is,

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Speaker 1: and that doesn't seem to be good enough for you.

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Speaker 1: I would just love to hear his side of the story.

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Speaker 1: And one thing he would probably say about you is

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Speaker 1: that your boss Steve, among other things. Well, you know,

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Speaker 1: good answer, Shirley, I don't. It's a waste. He wants

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Speaker 1: to be seen and not heard. Let's go. You're both

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Speaker 1: y'all thirty four. You've been together nine years, married for three,

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Speaker 1: and then you say you be gave him an ultimatum,

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Speaker 1: and eventually he imagined that's how you got him. Okay,

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Speaker 1: after six years, then you tell me that he's very

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Speaker 1: full of himself and the women in his family made

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Speaker 1: him think he was he was God's gift to the

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Speaker 1: earth because he has eyes that change color. Well, how

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Speaker 1: bought my grandson and transformer one time and it do

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Speaker 1: the same thing. Transform My eyes turned red sometime sometime

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Speaker 1: they blew, you know, but it ain't the best toy

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Speaker 1: he got. Now you got a man that got his

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Speaker 1: eyes that can change color, and you ain't got the

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Speaker 1: best man they got either. He's tall and very handsome. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you just got a little cute as boy. Guys

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Speaker 1: have changed your colors. That meany light skinned, dog skinned

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Speaker 1: people eyes don't change colors. Don't tell you to be

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Speaker 1: too damn shocker. So day this little yellow ass boy

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Speaker 1: because his little eyes can change because the dogs keep

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Speaker 1: people eyes stayed the same. So no chocolate, man, I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you, Sherley Dodge. People eyes don't change color. It'll

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Speaker 1: be too much. You shouldn't have been here. You have

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Speaker 1: him coffee with some fine dog skin and chicken in

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Speaker 1: her eye change color. You gotta get hell about here.

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Speaker 1: That polar gay. That's polar guys. She fit to be

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Speaker 1: stepping out to TV when you get home. You need

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Speaker 1: to get your eyes out. Yeah. He's a natural flirt

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Speaker 1: and not tolerated because I know if he ever left me.

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Speaker 1: The woman was sitting here right back to me. Oh

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Speaker 1: so you got somebody, don't nobody won't butch you? Who

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Speaker 1: is letter going to hell? Right here? Here's the problem,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna get to this when I come back.

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Speaker 1: He's not a manly man outside the bed room. What

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Speaker 1: oh hell, no, we come back, all right? Hold on, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I ain't on, Steve. We'll have part two of your

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Speaker 1: response to today's Strawberry letter at twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: be our. The subject he wants to be seen but

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Speaker 1: not heard. We'll get back into that right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter. The subject is he wants to be

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Speaker 1: seen but not heard. So this woman got this man

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Speaker 1: that don't nobody else won't seem like to me. They've

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Speaker 1: been together nine years. She forced him to marry him,

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Speaker 1: but an ultimatum and everything. And then you know he

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Speaker 1: thinks he God's gift because his ass changed colors. Like

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Speaker 1: I said, I bought my grandson a transform and do

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Speaker 1: the same damn thing, just because his eyes changed color.

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Speaker 1: And then we come to the conclusion that he must

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Speaker 1: be a little light skin and ass boy, a little

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Speaker 1: yellow boycause dark skinned people eyes do not change color.

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Speaker 1: It'll be too much, it'll just be shocked. You're sitting

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Speaker 1: over there sipping your coffee. She looking over the edge

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Speaker 1: of the move and all of a sudden her eyes

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Speaker 1: go green. You got to get the hell out of him, because,

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Speaker 1: like I said, the post the guys, you got to

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Speaker 1: get the hell out of him. She possessed. And now

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Speaker 1: he's a natural flirt, not tolerated because I know if

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Speaker 1: he ever left me, the women with sending him right

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Speaker 1: back to me. So now you somebody don't nobody won't,

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Speaker 1: but you we left off right here. Here's the problem.

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Speaker 1: He's not a manly man outside the bedroom. Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: you got a man that ain't side and that ain't

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Speaker 1: a man outside the bedroom. So now you just got

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Speaker 1: a big old or big old or what they call it,

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Speaker 1: a man child. You got a man child. Yeah, he

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Speaker 1: a man in the bedroom. He baby Hughey out the bedroom,

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Speaker 1: just got a damn dipn't look like a big ass

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Speaker 1: egg with a dive ahole. You had that big giant

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Speaker 1: duck named baby Hughett. But he a man child in

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Speaker 1: the bedroom. He can really show out in that bedroom.

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Speaker 1: But after that, he's like having a child who won't

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Speaker 1: that after while, you're gonna understand that you letting a

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Speaker 1: baby climb on you. That's what you're gonna realize in

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Speaker 1: a minute. See right now that the man child parties

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Speaker 1: being But then he baby huey outside. After while, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna realize its hue that you're making love to take

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Speaker 1: your dab off baby. Come on ee here, lay down, water,

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Speaker 1: clean yourself. Oh you come in. That's what it's gonna

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Speaker 1: start getting to. All he cares about is getting the

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Speaker 1: latest trendy clothes, getting the newest watchers or sneakers, and

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Speaker 1: keeping his car clean and shining outside looking in. He

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Speaker 1: got the stuff together. A boiled boy. He's trifling. He's

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Speaker 1: got a great job, and he's in the leadership position.

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Speaker 1: Now listen to this, right him, but his matter talks

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Speaker 1: to him like a child and don't allow him to

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Speaker 1: speak up and make his opinions known. His manager has

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Speaker 1: even told him that he's not paid the thing. You know,

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Speaker 1: as soon as I heard that, I wanted to call

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Speaker 1: this job and speak to his manager. Okay, so let

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Speaker 1: me get this straight. So now everybody know who he is,

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Speaker 1: and everybody knows who and what they're dealing with, even you.

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Speaker 1: So now your boss know who he is, the co

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Speaker 1: workers know who he is, and you know who he is.

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Speaker 1: But you don't only want stuck with it. But I

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Speaker 1: had to realize he my husband and not my son.

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Speaker 1: Why do you even have to say that, Yeah, he's

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Speaker 1: my husband, not my son. I want him to focus

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Speaker 1: less on how clean he is when he goes to work,

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Speaker 1: on more how he represents himself when he's at work,

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Speaker 1: and the same thing going for our manages. Surely made

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Speaker 1: a good point here. I need him over our finance.

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Speaker 1: Suppose he don't know nothing about finding up keeping the house.

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Speaker 1: He probably knows something about that, because you know about

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Speaker 1: upkeep of himself, maintenance of our vehicles, all the manly

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Speaker 1: stuff in the marriage y'all. Keep you keep asking this

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Speaker 1: boy to be a man when he ain't. He's a

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Speaker 1: man child. He's baby Hewett. He's a big ass duck

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Speaker 1: with the dip on. Save that heed him. He's baby Hewey.

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Speaker 1: Look up to them old cartoons. Baby Hughey, the big

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Speaker 1: john ass duck with the big ass lips. Put the dip.

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Speaker 1: He'd rather be seen and heard in every aspect of

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Speaker 1: his life. He's been nine years and I'm done enabling him.

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Speaker 1: Should I be playing in a life with this man?

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Speaker 1: Or let this one go? No? I think the bigger

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Speaker 1: question is is he playing in a life with you?

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Speaker 1: You forced him into marriage. Of course he did it

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Speaker 1: because here a little boy, Mama said, I got you mad?

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Speaker 1: I got you mad. So now Erica Boston told him

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Speaker 1: shut up. He hadn't paid the thing. He shut his

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Speaker 1: ass on here out there washing his car right now,

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Speaker 1: putting some new sneakers on. He cleaned his hell, and

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Speaker 1: here goes him. Eyes they change again to this Sunday.

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Speaker 1: What does each color mean? He's Sunday outside seem like

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Speaker 1: if his daytime his son, his eyes is a blue

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Speaker 1: turned into a blue Denny. To get into the evening,

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Speaker 1: they turned more great, and then at night they just

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Speaker 1: got to he's like sexy. Then he come ahead, and

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Speaker 1: back to my eyes. And he taught girl, he'd be

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Speaker 1: smelling good and he can handle his business in the Bible.

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Speaker 1: Then we get through in the morning. I got to

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Speaker 1: wash him and brush his teeth, though he can get it.

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Speaker 1: And then he gonna go down there trying to leave.

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Speaker 1: You better sit down and eat your meal before you

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Speaker 1: go to work, and eat your finish, show old me

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Speaker 1: afore you go to work. And then he'd been crying sometime.

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Speaker 1: Then he gonna run out to the house and get

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Speaker 1: into get your backpack. You're gonna leave all his stuff

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Speaker 1: at work. And then I got to see them all

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Speaker 1: right here. And then I got to go out there

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Speaker 1: and set his GPS so he don't get lost on

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Speaker 1: his way to work, you know. And then he go

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Speaker 1: down there to the work. And then he climbed out

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Speaker 1: the cost smelling all good, and women be gonna, oh,

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Speaker 1: I like him, but three women that sending his ass

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Speaker 1: back to the house. And then Boston told him he

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Speaker 1: can't make decisions on his job. Lady, you want to

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Speaker 1: quit enabling him. Stop all right, post your comments on

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Speaker 1: today's Strawberry letter. As you be getting about baby here,

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Speaker 1: y'all get you some damn that dup get you some

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Speaker 1: Black Strawberry Letter. Deaf come up in it, deafit gets

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Speaker 1: shot and Steell come Back. The Strawberry Letter Podcast on

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Speaker 1: demand coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: The Stave Harvey Morning Show