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Speaker 1: Hi, I am Kate Hudson, and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and

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Speaker 1: what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling, Railvalry, No, no, sibling.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that with your mouth revely.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Oliver Hudson. It's like I've been saying my

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Speaker 1: name so much recently when I do these podcasts, when

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Speaker 1: I do anything, it's Oliver Hudson reporting live. I don't

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Speaker 1: know where that came from, but I'm just gonna keep

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Speaker 1: going with it anyway. It's Oliver Hudson reporting live from

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Speaker 1: my son, body Han Hudson. Yes, that's his middle name, Hank,

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Speaker 1: take a guess why Goldie Han body Han Hudson, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I love it, don't get me wrong, but body

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Speaker 1: Han's kind of sounds like Goldie Han. And we didn't

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Speaker 1: quite think that out, like, hey, well look it's body

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Speaker 1: Han or not Goldie Han. You know, it's got a

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Speaker 1: similar ring to it, and I love that there's legacy

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Speaker 1: in it. My middle the middle name from my oldest

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Speaker 1: is Brooks Wilder Brooks and then Rio is real Laura,

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Speaker 1: Real Laura Hudson and Laura is my grandmother's name. So

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Speaker 1: I've got them all in there. We got Brooks, we

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Speaker 1: got Mom, we got Goldie, and we got Laura. If

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Speaker 1: I was to switch them out, I'd probably go body

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Speaker 1: Brooks Hudson. It's just got that that b alliteration, you know,

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Speaker 1: Body Brooks Hudson, Wilder Han Hudson, Real Laura. So maybe

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Speaker 1: i'd switch them out. I'm gonna see if I can't

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Speaker 1: do that before the new year, before the year is up.

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Speaker 1: It's changed their birth certificates without them knowing. Anyway. I ramble,

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Speaker 1: I ramble, I ramble, and uh no, need to ramble

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Speaker 1: much longer, because we, of course have a guest waiting

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Speaker 1: in the waiting room. She actually DMed me. She slid

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Speaker 1: into my diarm and I wanted to have a chat.

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Speaker 1: And I looked her up and have said, of course,

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Speaker 1: because she talks about amazing things. She talks about relationships

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Speaker 1: and menopause and female things and being a single mom

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Speaker 1: and and and as we are discovering on this podcast,

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Speaker 1: Oliver Hudson is extremely in touch with his feminine side.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there is no denying that anymore, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Like I can talk menopause, perrymenopause, full,

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Speaker 1: men pause, you know, with the best of them. Let

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Speaker 1: me just say that anyway, this is nicky Marie, and

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Speaker 1: let's just bring her in so she doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: keep waiting. How are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm good. Thanks for finding my DM.

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Speaker 1: I know, I was just talking about it in my

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Speaker 1: little intro. I'm like, you know, setting you up. Like

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Speaker 1: she slid into my DMS. She wanted to have a conversation,

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Speaker 1: and I said, I think you picked the right guy

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Speaker 1: because as masculine as I am, because everyone looks at

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Speaker 1: me and thinks just pure sex, pure masculinity, but there's

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Speaker 1: a strong feminine side. And I was saying that I

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Speaker 1: could talk menopause, perry, full, whatever you want with the

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Speaker 1: best of them. Okay, my wife is fifty two. I'm

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Speaker 1: in it deep. I want to know about it. I'm

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Speaker 1: not one of those dudes who's just like, oh fuck this.

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Speaker 1: I go through your shit and I will sort of

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Speaker 1: stay on the sideline. I'm interested, you know. I mean,

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Speaker 1: biology is an amazing thing. So I've gone pretty deep.

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Speaker 2: I love this because I'm worse and I'm going to

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Speaker 2: tell you what You're married because you care mm hmm, married,

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Speaker 2: because you're putting in that care. All we want to

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Speaker 2: do is be seen and heard and understood.

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Speaker 1: And it's really hard, I know. And it's funny because

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Speaker 1: those are the things that we hear all the time,

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Speaker 1: be seen, be heard, be understood, and of course loved,

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Speaker 1: you know, And it seems such, it seems so simple,

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Speaker 1: but it is difficult because all of those things require

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Speaker 1: a certain vulnerability, and I think for men it's harder

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Speaker 1: to reach that place of true vulnerability to where you

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Speaker 1: can see here and be fully open with your with

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Speaker 1: your partner. We protect something as dudes, and being vulnerable

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Speaker 1: with certain people around love around women especially interestingly enough,

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Speaker 1: was very difficult for me with my friends societally me

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Speaker 1: as a human being, I could cry in front of

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Speaker 1: people I don't give a shit. But it's funny with

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Speaker 1: women that I love, whether my mom, I said to

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Speaker 1: my wife, there's a fear there of just fully opening

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Speaker 1: up and just being totally upfront saying I love you

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Speaker 1: and you're amazing, and I just want to tell you

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Speaker 1: that that would make me sort of retreat, you know. Dang, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: But now I've kind of figured it all out.

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Speaker 2: I love this and you're having the conversations. Isn't it

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Speaker 2: fun that you get to pick up a microphone and

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Speaker 2: talk about shit, talk.

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Speaker 1: About like, I love it, I really really? Do you

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Speaker 1: know you have a podcast? Right?

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm a professional yapp er.

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Speaker 1: How did he no? I know, I know. It's it's

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Speaker 1: really really fun and the different people you get to

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Speaker 1: meet and converse with, it's just it's a blast.

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Speaker 2: I've got clout with my kids because I was like,

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Speaker 2: do not come downstairs. I am going to be on

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Speaker 2: a call with the guy from Christmas Chronicle. So they're like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I get the clout. I'm like, well, mom,

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Speaker 2: now because I can talk to me.

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Speaker 1: Well, you got to watch the new one. I've got

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Speaker 1: a new one out that's with me and Alicia Silverstone

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Speaker 1: on Netflix. It's a Christmas movie done Selah. It's called

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Speaker 1: Mary Little Xmas, which is actually perfect because it's about

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Speaker 1: I saw that yep. Yeah, So it's like divorced for

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Speaker 1: nine months, there's still love there kind of. Christmas traditions

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Speaker 1: are huge. So Dad is back for the traditions of holidays,

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Speaker 1: but he brings a girlfriend along. It was a bit nutty,

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Speaker 1: and it turns out there's just a lot of miscommunication

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Speaker 1: that had happened in the last year that led them

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Speaker 1: to their divorce, and of course, you know, they get

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Speaker 1: back together in the end. But it's really sweet.

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Speaker 2: I have lived that movie. But the not the not

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Speaker 2: getting back together a part?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, which which kind of is, was your

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Speaker 1: divorce what sets you onto your path?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's terrible, but there's the silver lining, you know,

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Speaker 1: the book.

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Speaker 2: The tipping point, my tipping point to doing everything in

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Speaker 2: my life that I'm doing now, which totally nikky, little Nikki.

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Speaker 2: I'm back like middle school element doing silk videos and

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Speaker 2: it's all because of my divorce. Yeah, kind of knocked

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Speaker 2: me on my ass.

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Speaker 1: How did that? How did it? How did it propel

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Speaker 1: you to do what you wanted to do? I mean,

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Speaker 1: of course it was bad. I'm hearing that. So what

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Speaker 1: part of you, after potentially mourning, I'm just guessing, were

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Speaker 1: you saying, Okay, I'm gonna get up off my fucking

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Speaker 1: ass right now and I'm gonna I'm gonna find the

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Speaker 1: silver lining here and I'm gonna make the best of this.

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Speaker 2: I went into this is that's a great question. I

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Speaker 2: went into my career right being told in like my

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Speaker 2: first two jobs that not everything can be funny. Literally,

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Speaker 2: I had bosses who were like, you've got to wear makeup,

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Speaker 2: you've got to blow dry your hair, you've got to

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Speaker 2: show up, and not everything needs to be funny. And

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Speaker 2: I was thinking my clients, like I was a sales manager,

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Speaker 2: and my clients love me because I come in with

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Speaker 2: something different. I'm myself no matter where I go, m

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Speaker 2: m and I don't. I don't have the type of

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Speaker 2: humor that was from like scar tissue or anything. I

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Speaker 2: think it's just innately I notice everything, extremely sensitive to

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Speaker 2: everything around me, and I could find a way to

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Speaker 2: like call it out m m oh. I grew up

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Speaker 2: thinking in my early career that like you had to

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Speaker 2: become more serious to be taken seriously right to climb

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Speaker 2: the ladder. Yeah, I was a Division one athlete all Americans,

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Speaker 2: so I knew how to like grant and like get

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Speaker 2: down and dirty with my girls on the field. And

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Speaker 2: then I started learning write society shapes you. I started

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Speaker 2: learning in my careers that like my ADHD maybe wasn't

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Speaker 2: that great. Everywhere I went mm hmm, and people started,

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Speaker 2: you know, noticing it, and I was like, oh shit,

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Speaker 2: this always was my superpower, and now I'm not organized.

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Speaker 2: I can't get my quota like expense reports done on time.

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Speaker 2: M H started changing myself to be more what like

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Speaker 2: the corporate the company?

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Speaker 1: How did you go about doing that? Like, how do

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Speaker 1: you consciously try to make that transition? Especially ADHD, which

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Speaker 1: I was just diagnosed with myself. I did a whole

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Speaker 1: crazy brain with the doctor, doctor Amin. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you know doctor Amen, love him, He's amazing. And

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Speaker 1: I did the whole thing and it was incredible, you know,

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Speaker 1: But how did you sort of attempt that transition to

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Speaker 1: being something you're not meaning going going literally against your

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Speaker 1: chemistry in your brain?

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Speaker 2: So I had I always noted it back to my childhood.

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Speaker 2: I had four grandparents who literally I was the only granddaughter.

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Speaker 2: I was like the beloved, overly spoiled with love kid.

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Speaker 2: So like, if you spoil your kids with love, I'm

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Speaker 2: a walking billboard that it's not going to mess them up.

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Speaker 2: Matter of fact, they're going to like think they are

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Speaker 2: great in ways right, like in a not an equal way,

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Speaker 2: but in a like I'm capable. So I want to

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Speaker 2: say that first because I want to frame it with

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Speaker 2: I grew up where my family loved me for exactly

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Speaker 2: who I was. It was like, you need to get

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Speaker 2: all straight. A's how dare you? Yes, it was like

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Speaker 2: at the C plus B minus we good, We're going.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're definitely my people. I mean you and I

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Speaker 1: are similar or very similar. I think, cut from the

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Speaker 1: same cloth. Everything that you're saying from the beginning when

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Speaker 1: we got on till now, it's pretty much how I think,

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Speaker 1: who I am, what I believe you know, and the

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Speaker 1: funny part being funny, and it doesn't you're You're not

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Speaker 1: just giving other people sort of joy. It brings joy

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Speaker 1: to yourself too. I mean, always be fucking funny. Like

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Speaker 1: whatever situation you're in, humor is there for a reason.

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Speaker 1: Even in the most difficult times and tragedy and pain,

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Speaker 1: humor is always there to lean on.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, so my com so back to the question

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Speaker 2: of corporate I was like, the way I was as

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Speaker 2: an athlete is I knew how much I had to

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Speaker 2: run and train to be good at a sport. So

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Speaker 2: I think I took that practicality and I put it

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Speaker 2: over into Okay, this is what your bosses want to

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Speaker 2: see you do. So I just started doing those things

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Speaker 2: and I climb the corporate ladder and I figured out

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Speaker 2: how to get the next position, and I was like

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Speaker 2: to put me in coach type of employee. And I

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Speaker 2: started noticing that I was like taking myself more seriously

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Speaker 2: and starting to be stressed out about work. And I

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Speaker 2: would get home to my husband and I'd be still

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Speaker 2: wanting to work. And I think that that climb the

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Speaker 2: ladder Nikki kind of got away from like true Nikki,

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Speaker 2: which is like I'm sending snapchats to everybody in the

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Speaker 2: company because they're funny. Right, I'm a VP. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: right right, I've always been up behind the scenes girly

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Speaker 2: with like my selfies and my yeah, and now take

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Speaker 2: me divorce. COVID lost all my clients. When Covid hit,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'll go on TikTok and I'll see

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Speaker 2: like what my clients are asking for, and that's it.

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Speaker 2: I just started showing up as the non Instagram mom,

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Speaker 2: like we don't have a perfect porch on Halloween. I

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Speaker 2: don't I'm not spending so much on pumpkins. Yeah, don't

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Speaker 2: have that aesthetic down. My kids are a train wreck

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Speaker 2: when we're going to take Christmas photos, Like, yeah, pretend

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Speaker 2: that we shit together. Yeah, and that was like, so

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Speaker 2: the timing of that in twenty twenty was like, thank god, yes, exactly,

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Speaker 2: crazy bun and she's like, doesn't know what she's doing

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Speaker 2: in motherhood and here we are.

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Speaker 1: Wow, And when did you see it sort of take off?

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Speaker 1: And was there a moment where we're like, holy shit,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute. I was doing this kind of for

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Speaker 1: fun and putting myself out there, but now it's you know,

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Speaker 1: this is bigger than I expected.

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Speaker 2: In probably twenty twenty. What are we in twenty five?

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Speaker 2: Twenty three January was when I knew that I had

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Speaker 2: was at a crossroad. I'm like, either I'm gonna do

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Speaker 2: this half assed and I'm going to keep consulting and

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Speaker 2: try to figure out my life because I need to

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Speaker 2: pay the bills. Course is almost over. I need to

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Speaker 2: figure out my life. I just gave myself somebody out

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Speaker 2: there might need to hear this. I gave myself a

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Speaker 2: six month window to succeed or fail. And I was like,

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Speaker 2: if I do this all in from January to June

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Speaker 2: and it sucks, then I'll do the next thing. By March.

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Speaker 2: My Instagram page blew up. Wow, And so it was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I can do this, and I need to be less

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Speaker 2: apologetic about what this is because it's weird. I'm forty

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Speaker 2: eight years old. I'm still like, how do I explain

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Speaker 2: conjunt creator? Like I make second videos, I talk about

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Speaker 2: bullshit that's yeah.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a do you have a structure to

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Speaker 1: it or is it just pure? Right?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Because that's I asked, because that's how I am. Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I mean, I make a little

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Speaker 1: money off Instagram here and then when I promote shit right,

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Speaker 1: but it's not. It's sort of an ancillary part of

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Speaker 1: my income and I don't spend enough time on it

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Speaker 1: because I have to be inspired to put out some

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Speaker 1: kind of a post and that can be three months.

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Speaker 1: I don't do shit, and then I start feeling guilty.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, all these people have followed me and they're

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Speaker 1: not getting anything. And then I'm like, wow, who gives

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Speaker 1: a shit because they follow a million other people. But

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Speaker 1: I have to feel like that inspiration to go put

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Speaker 1: something out when you're doing it as a gig, it's

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Speaker 1: I mean, you must be like, okay, I got I

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Speaker 1: gotta I gotta do some shit today.

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Speaker 2: If yeah, and this like, it sounds so ridiculous in

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Speaker 2: the grand scheme of life to be like, oh, it's strussful.

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Speaker 2: I just got back from the cruise we were hosted. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm so ridiculous because my life is not normal. I

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Speaker 2: tell my kids that all the time. This is right, Like,

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Speaker 2: let's pull back the layers to my kids who are

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Speaker 2: nine and eleven. Mommy had fifteen jobs before this. Mommy

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Speaker 2: was head coach at a college. Mommy taught a college course.

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Speaker 2: So this isn't just Hey, I've been ready for this

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Speaker 2: my whole life. There's been a lot of layers to

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Speaker 2: getting this ready to be on camera. But to your

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Speaker 2: point is if you gave up everything else that you're

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Speaker 2: doing and you just yeah, you would find a way

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Speaker 2: to just feed them.

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Speaker 1: You do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's in your DNA. I love it. I treat

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Speaker 2: it like I'm on FaceTime with like four million people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, what's up? Are we doing something right?

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Speaker 1: It's great. That's the best stuff because it's it's to

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Speaker 1: me anyway. It's just so personal, you know, when it's

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Speaker 1: not flashy, when it's not set up, when it is

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Speaker 1: just sort of handheld boom here, I am you know,

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Speaker 1: here's here's what I'm going through right now in this moment.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely the hard part is your kids get a little

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Speaker 2: older and you're like, oh, wait, their privacy matters now

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Speaker 2: in a different way than it did three years ago.

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Speaker 2: Three we were on the verge of elementary school. Now

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Speaker 2: my daughter's going into middle school. So I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I can't make fitness to you know.

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Speaker 1: I know it's true, and.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm finding my like, what's my happily ever after

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Speaker 2: two point zero? What do I want to do when

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Speaker 2: I grow up when my kids like get their license

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Speaker 2: and they.

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Speaker 1: Don't as much there I'm there right now. It's crazy journey.

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Speaker 1: So it's crazy. How long have you been divorced?

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Speaker 2: So I separated in September of twenty nineteen, okay, and

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Speaker 2: then came COVID right around I was twenty. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: get it together and then twenty twenty did not get

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Speaker 2: it together? Yeah, but yeah, so yeah, divorce was a beast.

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Speaker 1: And was are you dating?

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Speaker 2: Eh?

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Speaker 1: No, because this is a huge part of your brand.

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Speaker 2: This is just my My perspective is after divorce and

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Speaker 2: then perimenopause, you add that in. My brother is my manager.

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Speaker 2: He called me the other day, he's like, when are

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Speaker 2: you in actual menopause, not for like over another year.

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Speaker 2: He's like, can you hurry it up because I have

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Speaker 2: a six figure deal for you. I'm like, no, I'll

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Speaker 2: talk to you when it happens. That's really what happens,

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Speaker 2: is you become I don't want to say picky, but like,

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Speaker 2: you've just been through some shit and I almost wish

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Speaker 2: that you had this perspective about dating before you got married.

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Speaker 2: When you get married, there's like the oh, every milestone

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Speaker 2: will like, we'll mold us a bit more, and everything

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Speaker 2: will change once we have kids, and oh, once we

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Speaker 2: get married, he won't golf as much and once and

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Speaker 2: you just have all these ideas because you had something

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Speaker 2: in your brain about your life. M h that was

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Speaker 2: it was a dead set thing. I'm like goal oriented,

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Speaker 2: so I was like, this is what my life's going

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Speaker 2: to be like. And I got married, and when the

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Speaker 2: divorce happened, I'm like, I need to rewrite that entire play, right,

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Speaker 2: Like you're a writer. I had to rewrite the whole

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Speaker 2: freaking thing. So now the man of my dreams is like, wait,

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Speaker 2: is that even fucking possible? I don't know if that

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Speaker 2: person exists, and he's definitely not in Massachusetts.

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Speaker 1: So why not Why isn't he definitely.

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Speaker 2: Not I'm way taller than him or something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, where in mass are you?

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Speaker 2: By the way, Southeastern mass So a little bit cape,

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Speaker 2: like twenty minutes from the ferry that okay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Well my wife is from mass Her her

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Speaker 1: parents grew up in Brockton, full thick ass accents. Then

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Speaker 1: they moved along Meadow up in the western part of

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Speaker 1: the state.

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Speaker 2: So I'm not that far from Brockton.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she know my parts.

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Speaker 2: She knows what's up.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, of course. And then we go to

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Speaker 1: Falmouth every year because that's where her parents live now

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Speaker 1: the best. Yeah, yes, no, I know, I know. Well

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Speaker 1: that's so funny.

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Speaker 2: I know dating. No, not right now. I'm in my

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Speaker 2: and I used to say, and it's a sad thing

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Speaker 2: to say. Now. I always would tell people like, I'm

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Speaker 2: in my Diane Keaton era. Hm. He plays is just

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Speaker 2: like the white on white on the beach, chilling in her,

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Speaker 2: you know, midlife vibes. Doesn't need a man. And then

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Speaker 2: I was in my diant.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask a question, actually getting into perimenopause. My

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Speaker 1: wife is in it now. Obviously we're together, so she's

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Speaker 1: not single. But you know, you know what happens to

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Speaker 1: your libido when you start this. I understand the hormones

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Speaker 1: she's on some hormone replacement therapy. Is trying to find

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Speaker 1: the right balance, because it's been a tricky thing to

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Speaker 1: find the right balance. Yes, but what happens to your body?

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Speaker 1: What happens to your libido in that when that you

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Speaker 1: just shut does everyone just shut down? Like I don't

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Speaker 1: want it anymore?

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is like I want to say the right thing. Okay,

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Speaker 2: when I was if I were married, abida would look

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Speaker 2: way different than being the woman who can just have

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Speaker 2: that when you want to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just different.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if someone lived with me, I'd want to take

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Speaker 2: his fucking head off.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: That's perimenopause, so not necessarily doing anything wrong. But here's

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do this for your wife, redde. I'm

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Speaker 2: going to do this for the wife's out there.

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Speaker 1: And the husband's Okay, good.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever made a pot of coffee and forgot

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Speaker 2: to put like the filter in the pot and beans

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Speaker 2: the ground whatever you got you pour out. Before perimenopause,

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Speaker 2: everything is filtering nicely. The filter's in there. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: everything's flowing and it's right down into the pot. Okay, Perry, menopause,

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Speaker 2: you forgot to put the filter there, so but but

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Speaker 2: I forgot to put the filter in. I made the coffee,

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Speaker 2: but I'm pissed off at you that I forgot to

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Speaker 2: put the filter in.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm hmm.

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Speaker 2: I forgot it, But I want to blame you because

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Speaker 2: you're taking up too much of my mental mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Perimenopause is like, there's no filter in the pot. The

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Speaker 2: beans are going everywhere. We don't know what day it is.

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Speaker 2: We don't know if we're hot or we're cold, or

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Speaker 2: we're pissed or we're happy. We don't know who we're

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Speaker 2: mad at. But if you're in front of us, it's

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00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 2: going to be you to blame and we don't. What

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Speaker 2: else say is we don't want to be like that.

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Speaker 2: We very much want to be What's the What's the

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00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 2: Bruce willis Michelle Pfeiffer a movie where she's like, I'm fun,

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Speaker 2: I am a fun girl. Like they they're on the

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Speaker 2: verge of like their marriage ending, and she how fun

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Speaker 2: she was before the marriage. That's the character that we are.

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Speaker 2: We like we know we're fun. We also know we're

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Speaker 2: bitchy right now, and we don't know how to get

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Speaker 2: a hold of it. I'm on an estrogen patch. Yeah,

397
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 2: I'm on progesterone before bed and my brother and I

398
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Speaker 2: have a podcast together, and I like crashed out last

399
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Speaker 2: week ball and crying about the Toy Story five.

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Speaker 1: Preview on your podcast.

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00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,880
Speaker 2: No just in Ay, I watched the preview. Yeah, we're

402
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Speaker 2: talking sobbing and my brother goes like this to me,

403
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Speaker 2: He's like, time for the patch.

404
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Speaker 1: Talk about your relationship your brother. I mean, this is

405
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Speaker 1: a sibling show after all. He sounds awesome, Like he

406
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 1: sounds like kind of like me with with Kate, where

407
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 1: you can say talk about anything, nothing is off limits.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's that's awesome. I mean, there's I was making

409
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Speaker 2: fun of him the other day because he was talking

410
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Speaker 2: about how he had two casts on his legs when

411
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Speaker 2: he was eight, and I was just crying, laughing, and

412
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Speaker 2: it's like only siblings can really like a hard time

413
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Speaker 2: for him. Was like, is a hilarious time for me?

414
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Speaker 2: So much love? So yeah, there's eighteen years difference between

415
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Speaker 2: the two of us. He lives in La Wow, I'm

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Speaker 2: here in mass when we come together. Technically he's the

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Speaker 2: only person I want to go out and party with.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Does he were you guys blood or half half half? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So he comes home and I'm like, let's he's the

422
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 2: only person that can get me to take nights off,

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Speaker 2: like away from my kids. They don't like they're with

424
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Speaker 2: me twenty four to seven. When he comes home, I'm like,

425
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Speaker 2: I gotta go do a thing. Yeah, yeah, like the

426
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:05,919
Speaker 2: chicken box and the oldest one math. It's kind of

427
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 2: like my escape if that. It's just the sibling thing.

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Speaker 1: That you can I'm sure it's a good sounding board too,

429
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Speaker 1: you know, for each other. Really can you can you

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Speaker 1: get under his skin? You know? Do you know how

431
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 1: to needle him and and you know sort of push

432
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: his buttons because I know every button of Kate's. I

433
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 1: it's so easy, you know, if I really want to.

434
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 2: This morning, I said, you gotta. He so he manages me.

435
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 2: He manages my brand deals, which is so interesting, and

436
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 2: today he had a piece of it. He asked me

437
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 2: a question. I go, I can't work with you on this.

438
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,360
Speaker 2: Thank you for getting the brand deal. Now I'm going

439
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 2: to take it. I'm gonna don't we're not talking about

440
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 2: this anymore. We just go each other. It's great, and

441
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,159
Speaker 2: then five we're sending each other like a gift or

442
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 2: a meme.

443
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

444
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 2: The ground rate of being mad is like three and

445
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 2: a half minutes.

446
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. So you grew up as an only child? Yes,

447
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 1: in mass Yes? Okay? What was how did that shape you?

448
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? What was it like being

449
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 1: in all is this? Are you? Are you a typical

450
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: only child?

451
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 2: I am an only child that was raised in the eighties.

452
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 2: I was like rugged tomboy throwing a football with the

453
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 2: boys in the yard. I would go into recess. I

454
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 2: don't think this is normal now that I think it

455
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 2: out loud and say that I would go to I

456
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 2: would go to gym class in like third fourth grade,

457
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 2: and I would look at the leader board for floor

458
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 2: hockey to see which boys had more goals than me,

459
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 2: and I would like lock it in and I would

460
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: go into gym class being like I got a score

461
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 2: four today and I would score four. So that's me

462
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,919
Speaker 2: as like an only child, like uber competitive. Yeah, not

463
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 2: in a way that I would ever tell anybody I

464
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 2: was competitive. It was just I think it's a little

465
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 2: of the ADHD hyperfixation.

466
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: Mm hm.

467
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 2: So I was an eighties ADHD. Couldn't pay attention to

468
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 2: shit butterfly on my report cards. It's a hard time

469
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 2: paying attention. Yeah.

470
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: Yeah.

471
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 2: Sports became like my hyperfixation. So I was a total tomboy.

472
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 1: You were, and that's when you got in field hockey, yes,

473
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: and just crushed it, rushed it. Yeah. My wife went

474
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: to Ithaca, she played D three lacrosse.

475
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: There you go.

476
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so funny you mass girls. There's a certain breed.

477
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: It's so interesting, like all my wife, all of her

478
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: girlfriends from Matt I mean, there's a certain energy of

479
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: all you girls. It's so funny.

480
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 2: That is funny there. I think that's why I Also,

481
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: nothing that I'm doing online is that unique to me

482
00:25:55,760 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 2: because I know a bunch of baddies like me. It's

483
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 2: funny to the rest of the world because you're right there.

484
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 2: It's a certain type of reed here mm hmm.

485
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,239
Speaker 1: And with your you know, with your feeds and with

486
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 1: what you do and what you put out there, do

487
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 1: you just speak with whatever comes to your brain or

488
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 1: do you curate it in a sense that you know,

489
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 1: I feel like talking about this today. I want to

490
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: hit this topic. And do you know your audience? You

491
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 1: know what I mean, I.

492
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 2: Don't necessarily know my audience. I know it's ninety something

493
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 2: percent women.

494
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.

495
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 2: Which it's very clear that I'm a raging goofball on

496
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 2: there right, Like it takes a certain the men that

497
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 2: follow him, like you're a good egg. Sometimes I'll be

498
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 2: a man who's like, oh my god, I got to

499
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 2: take a picture of you for my wife. I'm like,

500
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: you're awesome. If you know my shit, you're you're standing

501
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 2: up for your wife. So I think that's the conversation

502
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 2: we're having is like, how do I become more curious

503
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:52,439
Speaker 2: into what my wife is thinking?

504
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Well that's the thing. That's that's what's interesting

505
00:26:56,359 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: about it. That's why men need to follow more accounts

506
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: like yourselves and and and the other way around. That's

507
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: why women should follow more. I mean, I guess it's

508
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 1: a little bit different when when when we talk about things,

509
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 1: but the male perspective I think is important. I do

510
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 1: Drew barrymore a bunch and because she wants me to

511
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: come on to give the male perspective on a very

512
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 1: female driven demographic, you know about love and relationships and sex,

513
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: you know, you know, so it's important to learn each

514
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 1: other's sides. I mean, I have a million plus followers

515
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: or whatever. Its ninety one percent female, you know.

516
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 2: Right, But think about the guy. I really do feel

517
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 2: like men are getting a bad rap right now. I've

518
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 2: spoken so much about my divorce. I've spoken what I

519
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,239
Speaker 2: see as far as like, you know, I don't use

520
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 2: the term toxic masculinity, but unfortunately, the really great husbands

521
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: and the really great guys are not like online talking

522
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 2: about being great. Instead we're seeing I'm raising a sun

523
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 2: I want him to be awesome.

524
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's amazing.

525
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 2: My uncle's amazing. My grandpa was the epitome of like romance, yeah,

526
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 2: or of my grandmother till the very last day he

527
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 2: lived for her. And so me being raised around that, Like,

528
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 2: I just have this vision of like what a man

529
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 2: is supposed to be. Like, Yeah, it's really hard when

530
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 2: you're in a world where you don't see enough of it.

531
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 2: Does that makes sense?

532
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: Oh? One hundred percent? I think I think we all

533
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 1: need to get more curious about why we do things

534
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: as men and as women, and why we feel certain

535
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 1: ways and get into the intricacies of the dynamic the

536
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 1: different dynamics of men and women because it's deep. You know,

537
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: on the surface, it's like, oh, he's a dude and

538
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 1: he's a dick and blah blah whatever, Right, but there

539
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: are if you dig into his psyche a little bit

540
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: and understand sort of where that comes from, then I

541
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: think we can sort of live harmoniously a little bit,

542
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 1: even a little better. You know, there's there's also so

543
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 1: much primal shit in us that's just left over from

544
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: insane thousand years ago.

545
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: I mean insane for women like you. Well, this the

546
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: lean in movement, right I naturally when I was I

547
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 2: was handling a big piece of business for a corporate

548
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,719
Speaker 2: brand as an SVP. I had my second child and

549
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 2: I was just not the same. Everything was tearing me

550
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: up about like wanting to be with my children. And

551
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 2: I remember Cheryl Sandberg's book Lean In and all these

552
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: big loud like with the heels on and like go

553
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 2: for what you have a seat at the table. I

554
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 2: was like, I don't want to see at the table.

555
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 2: And I feel so bizarre saying that I wanted to

556
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 2: lean out. I wanted to go home when the clock

557
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 2: was done at the end of the workday. I wanted

558
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: to fly out of the parking lot to get home

559
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 2: to my kids. And that's a nature.

560
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. And my wife was an actor and she

561
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: was amazing and doing very well, and like, you know,

562
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: she could have kept going and she's beautiful and she's

563
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 1: good and she's all of it. She could have had

564
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: like a big career, you know. And we had our

565
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: first baby eighteen years ago, Wilder, and and I was like,

566
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 1: all right, you want to go, you know, you back

567
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, done. I was like, you're done. Done,

568
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: don't you don't want to act anymore? You're done. She's like,

569
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: I'm done. I just want to be a mom. I'm like, okay, great, amazing,

570
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 1: you know.

571
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 2: And how did you like changing? Was she?

572
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: So she is as happy as a clam, you know

573
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like there's no regrets there in all zero,

574
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: there's no she doesn't have that well I need to

575
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 1: do something. I mean, I think there's a part of

576
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 1: her sometimes that is like, you know, I feel like

577
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: I have more to give or I should be doing something.

578
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: And I always encourage her because she's an amazing human

579
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: and has an amazing ideas and everyone loves her and

580
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 1: she's just I was like, you could, There's so much

581
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 1: you could do. But you know, she's cool. She's cool.

582
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 1: It's just hanging and being a mom.

583
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 2: And I live. It's like, I'm unapologetically I live for motherhood.

584
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 2: When people there's so much noise out there and it's

585
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 2: social media and it's new you know you live in

586
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: this world.

587
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just.

588
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 2: It's so much that tells you you have to have

589
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 2: a life outside of your kids. And I'm like, can

590
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 2: I have a hot minute here? My kids are nine

591
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 2: and eleven. I'm all in.

592
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

593
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 2: And unless a man can come in and bring something

594
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 2: to the table that I'm doing now and not pull

595
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 2: me from my kids, this is like a oh, come

596
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 2: with me, I'm like, I'm with my kids.

597
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

598
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 2: So that's a very Jerry Maguire type of thing, right, Yeah,

599
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 2: I'm apothetically all in on my cat, of course.

600
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: I mean I am as well to the detriment of

601
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 1: my career at points, because I would I'm not going

602
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: to New York for that long. I'm not going to

603
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: do it. Like, I'm not going to go commit myself

604
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 1: to a series that could potentially go six years where

605
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: I'm living in New York. That's not worth it to me.

606
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 1: You know, my deathbed's gonna be surrounded by my children

607
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: and the memories of all of the incredible times that

608
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: I had with my family. Not a job here or

609
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: an award here or that. You know. I think as

610
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: you get older, we can let that go a little bit.

611
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 1: You know, going to college, they're out of the house'll

612
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 1: be a little bit more time to focus on myself.

613
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 1: But you know, I'm all in, especially because my dad,

614
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: you know, wasn't there. You know, Kirk came into my

615
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: life and raised me, but there was a part of

616
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 1: me that just was going to do everything that I

617
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: could to just be the most present father of all time,

618
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: to the point of insanity, you know, where I miss

619
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 1: a recital. I'm like, he's gonna need therapy. He's gonna

620
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 1: have abandonment issues, and it's just like it's completely irrational.

621
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: But you know, talk to me for a second. I'm

622
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 2: a single mom. I mean, they have their dad, but

623
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 2: this is on me.

624
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

625
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: What can I do for my son to like, is

626
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:01,719
Speaker 2: there anything that you were raised with that made you you? Did?

627
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 2: You hear a lot about single moms and boys need broke?

628
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I mean I got lucky because Kurt came

629
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: into my life at six okay, and my dad we

630
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 1: were good until twelve, and then something happened and whatever

631
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: it split apart and it got contentious and that was that.

632
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 1: But Kurt raised me, you know, and he was an

633
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 1: amazing father, extremely masculine when I was a very shy

634
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 1: boy who had been through some trauma with divorce at

635
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 1: that young of an age and sort of clinging to mom.

636
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: And he was the one who sort of broke me

637
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: out of that and taught me that I'm okay alone.

638
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: I'm okay just being who I am, and I can

639
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 1: essentially find my way home, which was literal and figurative.

640
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 1: We had this moment, you know, where I would ride

641
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: on these ATVs with him in Colorado and we went

642
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 1: down to the river and he just disappeared and I

643
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: started freaking out and I was panicking and we call

644
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: him Paw and I was screaming pa Paw, like panicking,

645
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 1: and he was behind a tree just watching me. And

646
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: then he came out and he goes Alie. Oliver was like, pah,

647
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 1: I'm losing it and I'm you know, six or seven

648
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 1: years old, and he said, you're okay. You're you're you're,

649
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: you're fine, and I was like, okay. He goes, now

650
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: I want you to get us home and I was like,

651
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 1: no way, I want to. I need you in my sight,

652
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: and he goes, I'll be right behind you. I promise

653
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: I will never leave you, and so boom, I get

654
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: us home. Keep looking behind me, and I get us home.

655
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: And it was this epiphany like he goes, see, like,

656
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 1: if I wasn't there, if I did disappear for some reason,

657
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: you know how to get home. And that was literal,

658
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: and also, you know, as I get older, it's become

659
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 1: more metaphorical as well, you know. And then the cap

660
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: to that story is for the year I've been hearing, oh,

661
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: Oliver is too dependent on you to my mother, saying

662
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 1: he's too dependent on you, and Mom would agree, and

663
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: he needs independence. And I didn't quite understand what that meant,

664
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: but I heard those words, knowing that dependency connotated negativity

665
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: and independency with independent was this sort of, you know,

666
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: positive thing. And that next morning, I fly down on

667
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: my ATV and they're having coffee on their porch and

668
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: you can see the little dirt road and I say, mom, Pa,

669
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:38,240
Speaker 1: look I'm independent, not quite understanding what that meant, but boom,

670
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: I was off to the races. I was done. I

671
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 1: was now able to be free and not afraid.

672
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 2: You know, that is so beautiful in so many ways.

673
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 2: And all I'm thinking about is I need myself A

674
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 2: Kirk is So he's nine.

675
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: Yeah at six? Yeah I was six. I was six

676
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 1: or seven. But but but then it can continued, you know.

677
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: I mean he taught me to hunt. He taught me

678
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: to get into the woods. He taught me to be alone,

679
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: you know, with a rifle, with knives, with this, with that,

680
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 1: and I learned how to fish, which is a passion

681
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: of mine now. So he really brought me to that place.

682
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 2: And that is that's the beauty of too healthy, like

683
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 2: a healthy man and a healthy woman. Mm hmm. All right,

684
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: that's what I think you're gonna get. You get married.

685
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 2: You think is this partnership and you're going to handle

686
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 2: some of this and you're going to handle some of this.

687
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 2: And now I don't know that my cortisol levels are

688
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 2: meant to handle both roles.

689
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, ah, And I should remember his name. I saw

690
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 1: him on CNN and he is put he he's he's

691
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: written a book and it's all about men and boys

692
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 1: and how we need to be taken care of. Oh,

693
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 1: Richard Reeves. Richard Reeves is his name, and it's amazing.

694
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 1: There's some controversy, not controversy to it, but you know,

695
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: there's a lot of talk about sort of female empowerment,

696
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: and of course it's amazing. But he's his idea is

697
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: like we can't forget about the boys and the men,

698
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 1: and he gives all these amazing statistics and how important

699
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 1: it is to raise good boys who can become great men.

700
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 2: I need to talk to him.

701
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: You should have him on. He's awesome.

702
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,439
Speaker 2: I do see a lot of women get defensive when

703
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 2: there's a childhood specialist or a psychologist that says men

704
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 2: like boys need men like right, the single moms are

705
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 2: like bye, rise, and I'm like, I feel defensive in

706
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 2: my gut, but I also want to listen. I want

707
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 2: to hear, because why would we want to close that

708
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 2: like off, like raising our kids, like I want them

709
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 2: to have best of both worlds, men and women, like

710
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,399
Speaker 2: could we all do this together? Yes, against each other thing.

711
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: I think we also underestimate the man slash boy's emotional

712
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: capacity or emotional thirst or need for that, because part

713
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: of his thing was, you know, hey, just text text

714
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 1: a male, a kid or your cousin or whoever and

715
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: just say hey, dude, like thinking about you today, you're

716
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: the man or something like that. We don't, you know,

717
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: we don't get those things as men. Like all my

718
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: guy friends, we're never texting each other like yo, I

719
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 1: love you buddy, like you're just you're fucking amazing, you know,

720
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: and when you as a dude, when you get that.

721
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,399
Speaker 1: First of all, my friend texted me, I'd be like, dude,

722
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 1: is something wrong? Are you okay? But if it's genuine,

723
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 1: it just feels good, you.

724
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 2: Know, absolutely. Yeah, son's friend came over and it's so funny,

725
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 2: like they're both doing my son's homework project together. I'm like,

726
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 2: this is interesting. The girls would never have a friend

727
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 2: over and do a homework project together. And look at him.

728
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, they're two little a little bit introverted boys,

729
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 2: and that this is like they're doing this thing. I

730
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 2: do believe they're all wired exactly how they're going to be. Yeah,

731
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 2: we a lot remind me a lot of my son.

732
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 2: Going back to your six year old self is like, yeah,

733
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 2: mom is everything at sex, Like I couldn't even send

734
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 2: him into a fun camp because he'd be panicked to

735
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 2: leave the car. And I remember sitting there at camps

736
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 2: in my I think I did a post three years ago.

737
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 2: I couldn't get him to go off to the golf

738
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 2: camp that he was going to, and I talked about

739
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 2: having to reregulate as a mom, and how to reregulate

740
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 2: your emotions and stay strong for the kid and show

741
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 2: him that he's capable, and it's exhausting.

742
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: M hm.

743
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 2: So many other moms resonated with like the anxious.

744
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: Boy, Oh gosh. I mean, look, I've had anxiety my twenties.

745
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 1: It started and then I've had bouts of it throughout

746
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 1: my life until forty nine. I'm on Lexapro. You know,

747
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 1: I manage it. I'm so used to it now, the feelings,

748
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: I'm no longer afraid of it. I mean, I've been

749
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: through the ringer with that.

750
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 2: You know, we're talking about mental health, like we talked

751
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 2: about ADHD earlier. Today. Example, the school called me. They

752
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: never called me unless I'm like, oh no, they just

753
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 2: my daughter was missing her three math books that she needed.

754
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: And.

755
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 2: I ran over there. I dropped them off brought some

756
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: chocolates to the secretaries to be like, let's not pay

757
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: attention to.

758
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: Chocolate.

759
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. And I got in my car and I

760
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 2: was like, Wow, do you know how many moms feel

761
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 2: like shit because they are unorganized They have ADHD that

762
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 2: never went treated. Right, So now we're finding out the

763
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 2: moms with ADHD who never got treated have no idea

764
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 2: how to handle it, don't have the systems in place. Now,

765
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, I could either do this to my kid

766
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 2: or we could get the help we need to get

767
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 2: her to understand systems and structure. Like, I don't want

768
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 2: the label on her, but man, it's a different world,

769
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 2: is what I'm saying. To have label. We live in

770
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 2: a different world where we can manage it better.

771
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh oh, entirely. I mean the amount of memes

772
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 1: that my wife sends me about ADHD. It's crazy because

773
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 1: she has it and.

774
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 2: She through like her perry menopause made it worse.

775
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 1: Probably, yes, definitely, definitely she has it and she has

776
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: vivance to sort of. She doesn't take it every day,

777
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 1: but I'm like, why don't you just fucking take it

778
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: every morning? You're amazing when you're on Vivance. You are

779
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: getting shit done. You're amazing, you know, But she only

780
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: takes me like I gotta get stuff done today. I'm like,

781
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 1: just take it every day. It's awesome.

782
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: She and I maybe need to talk. This is so funny.

783
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 2: Vivance my I my assistant and I when I first

784
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: hired her, I took a Vivance one day and she's like,

785
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 2: oh god, she couldn't understand what was going on. I said,

786
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 2: I took a Vidance today, and I said, maybe we

787
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 2: start a series that's called Vivance. Mondays, m h, just

788
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 2: do all the shit I don't want to do. Then

789
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 2: if I took a Vivance every day, by week two,

790
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: I go off of it because I'm like I don't

791
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 2: need it.

792
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I'm like I don't need this.

793
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the reason I don't need is because I've

794
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 2: been taking it.

795
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah thing oh entirely.

796
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 2: I I.

797
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: Know when she's on it. I mean, you know, because

798
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 1: she has to take it early because otherwise she won't

799
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:20,800
Speaker 1: be able to sleep, you know, because it gets you

800
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: all up, and you know, so I'll drop the kids

801
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: off whatever, my breakfast and I see her, you know,

802
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 1: at ten o'clock. I look at her. I'm like, you're

803
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: on Vivance, aren't you. She's like, yep, yeah, on Vivance.

804
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 1: Let's go closet done me? You know, I'm like, oh shit,

805
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 1: you're ready to roll.

806
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 2: HG parents has got that's going to be a wild house.

807
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 2: There was that.

808
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: We had another ADHD specialist on our show, and he

809
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:51,319
Speaker 1: talked about how it needs to be looked at as

810
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: a superpower. As you explained earlier on in the podcast.

811
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,839
Speaker 1: You know, it can take control of you, for sure,

812
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: but it is a superpower. There's something very creative about it.

813
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 2: You know.

814
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: I would never change it. You know. I love my

815
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: brain and how it fires, and maybe yeah, it can

816
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 1: hinder me in certain ways, but I would never change

817
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 1: that or trade it in for having a blank mind.

818
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 2: I like it.

819
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:16,479
Speaker 1: My brain's all over the place.

820
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 2: But yes, we can live in a world. Our kids

821
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 2: can see a world that is going to be very

822
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 2: capable for their minds. I came out of school and

823
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 2: I remember my guidance counselor being like, what do you

824
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 2: want to do? And I don't know what can I

825
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 2: do with with like where I'm at, I don't want

826
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 2: to take the sat again, like we're just one and

827
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:43,479
Speaker 2: done on that. But now right they did. They wanted

828
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 2: me to take it again.

829
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 1: I was like, hell, no, I got the worst SAT

830
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 1: score maybe in the in the in the nation.

831
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 2: Have you ever admitted what you got to any Oh,

832
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 2: I have.

833
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 1: Courses say it all the time. I got I think

834
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 1: out of sixteen hundred points, I got a seven sixty.

835
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 2: I said it out loud.

836
00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: No you didn't.

837
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 2: I've never said that in my life.

838
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so happy you and I are

839
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: so similar. No one else has even come close to

840
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 1: my bad school eighty seven sixty. You beat me by

841
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:14,240
Speaker 1: one question.

842
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,959
Speaker 2: Oh and then like, how did I rank in my class?

843
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,399
Speaker 2: I remember getting the rankings and being like, holy shit,

844
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 2: I'm dumb. Yeah, like I was in the just But

845
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you, and you need to say it.

846
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 2: Did you care that much?

847
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: No? No, I didn't. I knew what I wanted to do.

848
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 1: I knew I love to be in movies. I had

849
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: this feeling that first of all, I didn't attach my

850
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: sense of self worth to my grades. Ever. Ever, Ever,

851
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 1: it was not me.

852
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 2: You know.

853
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: I loved who I was. I had a million friends,

854
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,800
Speaker 1: I had fun with life, I was a good person

855
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: and nice person. I was like my grades.

856
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm fine, that should be the name of your

857
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 2: like next episode, not book smart. Yeah, a bunch of

858
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 2: kids that can't like can't jam. My daughter is so funny.

859
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,959
Speaker 2: She goes like this, she goes, Mom, missus, I won't

860
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 2: say the teacher's name. She's like, she keeps asking me

861
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 2: questions and like I don't know the answers, and that's

862
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 2: how she says it. And I go, but what do

863
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 2: you say? She's just like she said that her teachers,

864
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: like you should know this by now. You're in fifth grade.

865
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,399
Speaker 2: And I go, that's what she says to you. I'm

866
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 2: having flashbacks and I go look around. I said, Layelah,

867
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 2: be honest. Do you look around and think, like, how

868
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 2: the hell does everybody know the answers to this? And

869
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 2: she goes every day, yeah, so like there's a group

870
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 2: of us that like, lets unite, Yeah, bay A, Yeah,

871
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 2: we didn't get the book stuff.

872
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:46,240
Speaker 1: No, and that's fine, but you will grab other.

873
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:50,359
Speaker 2: Parts of the world by the balls better than anyone around.

874
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 1: Billion percent, you know. And that's what I'm with my

875
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 1: daughter rio. You know. It was in sixth grade middle school,

876
00:45:56,440 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: big transition from fifth. The workload is more, is more intense,

877
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: and with all my kids, I just said, look, just

878
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: put the effort in, just try. If I see that

879
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: you tried and you get an f you studied your

880
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 1: ass off, I'm like, good, you did it. You win, buddy.

881
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 1: That's it. Now. If you just fuck off and you

882
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:19,280
Speaker 1: don't give a shit, then I have an issue because

883
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: I do believe in work ethic, and that's something I

884
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,759
Speaker 1: wish I had more of. You know what I mean,

885
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 1: I honestly wish I was pushed a little bit harder

886
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 1: to work harder.

887
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,359
Speaker 2: Same. So I love that we're saying this. I feel

888
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 2: so this is therapeutic for me to say, because I

889
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 2: never want to feel like I'm raising lazy kids around

890
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 2: as I want them to do well. I want them

891
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: to find out that they're brilliant in some area. And

892
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 2: my FRI ends up being like, oh my god, I

893
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 2: love science. I'm gonna be like wow, shit, I don't.

894
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 2: But I want them to find something in life that

895
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 2: makes them feel good about themselves, and some needs to

896
00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: work hard at finding that. Yeah, I'm not the f

897
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 2: I'm more like, oh my god, I understand you're confused, Meanwhile,

898
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,760
Speaker 2: my son, the teacher can say something once he locks

899
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 2: it in.

900
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Middle My middle kid is like

901
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 1: my middle kid is like never talking about homework once

902
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,760
Speaker 1: he's in tenth grade. Now he's straight. A's like, body,

903
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: you guys, n is body. I'm like, boddy you good.

904
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 1: He's like yeah good. I'm like, okay, man good. I

905
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 1: don't have to he's not asking you for homework help, no,

906
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: hell no, I ask him. I mean I need help.

907
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 1: I need help, which is life. And he sits me

908
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: down and has a that's great.

909
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 2: So how would you describe your like parenting.

910
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 1: Style non restrictive? We're not. We're not strict parents at all.

911
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: I think that we coddle our kids just generally in

912
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: our society now too much. I think they need to

913
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 1: get out and fall down and figure shit out on

914
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: their own. You know, kindness, looking people in the eye.

915
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 1: All of that stuff really matters to me, you know,

916
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 1: a lot, because that's what we were instilled with. But

917
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:01,240
Speaker 1: never had a real curfew. I've ever grounded my kids,

918
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 1: even when they've done some bad Shiit to me, it's like,

919
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,439
Speaker 1: you know what you did wrong? What am I doing?

920
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 2: You know?

921
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 1: Grounding you what does that do at the end of

922
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: the day.

923
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, I won't take that out of the wall.

924
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 1: Nah.

925
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 2: I know.

926
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 1: I know my wife once like lost it in the

927
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: car all three kids, you were a little younger, and

928
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 1: she's like, that's it, We're not having Christmas. I'm like, babe,

929
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: that's we can't. You cannot fall through with that one.

930
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 1: That's like I'm not gonna happen.

931
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 2: Just run out of options totally.

932
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: But I am strict on a few things, you know.

933
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: I just want them to pay attention, to be safe,

934
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 1: to be aware of their surroundings, you know what I mean,

935
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:57,360
Speaker 1: And to be respectful. I give you a long rope,

936
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 1: so be respectful to me. And I've had to deal

937
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 1: with that a little bit where it's like, yo, I

938
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,239
Speaker 1: give you everything, you know what I'm saying, like, show

939
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 1: a little bit of respect here. I'm not strict. I

940
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:13,320
Speaker 1: don't fuck with you at all, you know, give me

941
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 1: a little bit of respect. So there's it's it's kind

942
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 1: of like that, you know, I totally got it.

943
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, And what about your wife? What would she say?

944
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 2: Is like the hardest part of dealing with you as

945
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:25,760
Speaker 2: her husband.

946
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: I'm here to help, No, I know, well, I was

947
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 1: going to say when we ended this, if you ever,

948
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,399
Speaker 1: if you want me to come on your on your pod,

949
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:33,919
Speaker 1: I one hundred percent will be fun.

950
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 2: Yes.

951
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. So she's so amazing my wife, because she just

952
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 1: understands who I am so well. She knows how crazy

953
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: I can be. She knows that I am passionate about

954
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 1: certain things like my fishing and boats and my golf

955
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: here and there, and you know, and she allows me

956
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 1: to do those things. And I allow her to go

957
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: have week girl weekends with her friends, three nights sleeping out,

958
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,440
Speaker 1: and we just we're very independent that way that we

959
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: don't have some codependent relationship. I think, you know, I

960
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 1: think with her, she would probably want me to get

961
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: out of my own head and to believe in myself

962
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: more and stop the negative self talk that bugs her,

963
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 1: you know, because she's like, it's just reinforcing, you know,

964
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:26,400
Speaker 1: all the bullshit and if you believe this about yourself,

965
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 1: you're not going to move forward. And she's not wrong,

966
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: but yeah, I think, you know that's probably it. I

967
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 1: do the dishes, okay, she would say, don't. Her love

968
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 1: language is acts of service, you know what I mean?

969
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: Mine's physical touch on physical touch and her her last

970
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 1: love language is physical touch. So it's hard, you know,

971
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: it's hard, you know, so, but yeah, I think we're

972
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 1: pretty we're pretty compatible.

973
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 2: I think I think my ex husband would have said

974
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 2: his love language was physical touch, but it was only

975
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 2: a certain type of physical talk.

976
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 1: Right right.

977
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 2: I like to cud play with my hair.

978
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

979
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 2: The thing there was never it went from zero to

980
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 2: I'm like, can we just start with the hair?

981
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. Seeh I

982
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 1: was more. I was more like this where I'm sort

983
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 1: of standing at the island or doing whatever, and she

984
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 1: walks behind me and I'm thinking, is she going to

985
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: touch my back? Is she going to touch my back?

986
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 1: Is she going to touch my back? And then she

987
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: doesn't touch my back, and I'm like, oh my gosh,

988
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 1: she didn't touch my back.

989
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:35,359
Speaker 2: She doesn't look.

990
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 1: I mean, that's my mind where I'm like this, she

991
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 1: could she to me she's going to touch me? Shit,

992
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:43,360
Speaker 1: she didn't touch me, you know.

993
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 2: But yeah, talking about I love that where I love

994
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 2: the male female cutting together talking, yeah, in a way

995
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 2: trying to understand each other. That's great.

996
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 1: Well, this has been awesome. Thank you for coming on

997
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 1: and honestly, like, if if you ever want me to

998
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,879
Speaker 1: to be on your show, I would love to you guys,

999
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 1: I would love to meet your brother too, and I'm

1000
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 1: sure we'd have a blast sort of.

1001
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 2: Just Y's chocking it up for sure. Thank you so

1002
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 2: much for having me.

1003
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 1: Thank you. Niki. Do you want to plug anything? Uh?

1004
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 2: Just Nikki Marie ink on Instagram And I feel like

1005
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 2: that's my main hub and you could find elsewhere through

1006
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 2: all the tags doing a little bit of everything.

1007
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 1: Perfect. We'll go go keep doing it, go, keep relating, Go,

1008
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 1: keep making up money.

1009
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 2: Off the cough.

1010
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, show up as you are, Yeah, of course always

1011
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:39,879
Speaker 1: all right, bye, fun I found a kindred spirit I did. Yeah,

1012
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 1: she's so mass it's so funny. Reminds me so much

1013
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:46,360
Speaker 1: of my wife and her friends. It's crazy. Anyway, I

1014
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:50,320
Speaker 1: have to go, and I have to go because iHeart

1015
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 1: Radio needs the Zoom, one of the big companies, one

1016
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: of the great big Oh. Yeah, no, I'm keeping going.

1017
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,240
Speaker 1: You're going to keep the sin iHeartRadio. It's the Zoom. Laura,

1018
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 1: our producers trying to interject at twelve ten, we're two

1019
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 1: minutes past the deadline. So I'm sure another podcast is

1020
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 1: freaking out right now. I suggest maybe getting a few

1021
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: more Zoom accounts. Oliver Hudson out