WEBVTT - #135 Calling off the engagement 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:02.600 Caleb, you asked it the very last question, your very 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:05.440 last sentence of your question, you said, what would you 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:07.600 do if this was you? This is what I would do. 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:10.879 I wouldn't go through with this marriage. I wouldn't go 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:14.720 through with this engagement because this is a life of 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:29.080 trouble ahead of you. What's up, everybody, Welcome back to 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:33.760 the Grangersmith Podcast. The format of me answering your questions, 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:37.080 no matter the subject. We seem to go through a 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:39.600 lot of different kinds of things that life throws at you. 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:43.440 And then if you found me on TikTok or Instagram, 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:46.479 or you heard about me on After Midnight, maybe my 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:50.360 own post that I've made about the podcast. Hey, wherever 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:52.840 you came from, thanks for being here, wherever you're listening, 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.240 whatever platform you're on. I'm just glad you're here. We 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:59.160 talk about things like me and you are sitting in 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.040 the cab of a truck together or sitting around a 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:04.080 campfire and just talking through it. You could email me 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:08.399 Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I put it in 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.720 the queue. I have a few requests from you, guys. 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:13.640 Don't make the email too long, make it about the 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.240 length of a phone. That's easier for me to read. 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:19.920 If it gets too long, it's harder for this format. 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:22.360 And the second thing I have for you is don't 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:25.800 send the same email twice, okay, because I know that 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:28.800 some of y'all like to send email the same email 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.240 every day to make sure that you get in the queue, 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.120 and they just get deleted. So don't worry about it. 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:35.920 You send it one time, it gets put in the 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:39.720 queue and we'll walk through it. Okay, let's get started. 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:45.120 This first question it says questions about marriage. Hey, granger, 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:47.120 my name is Ben, and I've been dating my amazing 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.160 girlfriend for almost a year and things are going great. 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:52.640 She has four kids that are fourteen, nine, seven, and five. 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:55.760 Being a step parent has had its challenges, but they've 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:58.320 all started calling me dad. It's a great feeling. The 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:00.360 kids know I'm going to marry their mom, and so 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.880 does her family. My question is how do you feel 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.880 about one year of dating? Do you think it's too 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:09.000 soon for me to ask her to marry me? Or 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.280 should I wait a little bit longer. I appreciate you 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:16.720 listening and answering this. Keep up the great work from Ben. Yeah, Ben, 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:21.560 Amber and I dated Amber and I were engaged for 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:25.880 seven months, and we dated for like four or five 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.320 months before that, So we dated four or five months. 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:30.800 I asked her to marry me, were engaged seven months. 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:33.280 So all that happened from when I met her to 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:35.840 when I married her, it happened in less than a year. 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:40.040 So of course my answer to you is absolutely, you 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:44.600 could do this. Here's the thing, we overthink this as 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:49.880 a culture. We overthink engagements and dating and finding the 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:53.400 right one and the soulmate. We just we overthink it 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:57.560 so much because think about it in terms of you're 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:02.680 looking to find your life lifetime partner, right and so 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:07.359 you want to find someone that's that's passionate about God 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:12.000 and loves you, and you could see how they treat 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:15.000 other people. So with your girlfriend girlfriend right now, you 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:18.399 could see how she treats her kids. That's a huge indicator. 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.760 How does she treat people around you? How does she 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:25.600 treat perfect strangers? So you can quickly identify a woman 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.040 that you love, that you could be compatible with for 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.720 the rest of your life. It doesn't take that long 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.600 to figure that out. The catch is, and this is 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:36.160 the hardest part about it, is once you make that 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:39.280 decision and you say yes, she's the one I've I've 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.360 carefully watched her, I've listened to her. I know how 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:47.240 she treats other people. I know her relationship with her 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:51.000 parents and with God and with me. Here's the hard part. 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:54.520 The hard part is once you commit to that, you 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:56.960 stick with it, not because your heart are your feelings, 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:59.680 but because your brain tells you I am making a 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:04.560 commitment and I will not break this commitment. Isn't that 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:08.240 crazy that that's hard? But in this culture, that's the 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:12.280 most difficult thing, is keeping your word till death. Do 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:17.120 us part through sickness and through health, That's what we say, 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:21.760 But that doesn't happen. We take those terms so loosely 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:25.240 because our heart just falls for someone else, and that 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:29.200 and our you know, we change our minds because our 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:31.520 heart takes us somewhere else. It should be the opposite. 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:35.120 Your heart doesn't get to change your mind. Your mind 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:39.080 gets to change your heart. Your mind controls your feelings, 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:42.480 not your feelings control your mind. Make sure that happens. 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.400 Make sure that once you make that commitment to her, 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:49.440 especially she's got these kids, she's got four kids. Don't 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:51.680 mess this up for her. Don't mess this up for 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:57.160 those kids. So watch her learn from her and then 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.920 once you make that commitment, there's no getting out of it, 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.760 no matter what your heart tells you, what your feelings 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:06.160 tell you. And that's it. It's as simple as that. 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:10.640 It's so difficult and so simple at the same time. Okay, 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:18.920 I wish you the best. Next question says help please 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.880 life advice. Hey Granger, my name is Caleb. I'm from Alabama. 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:26.280 I'm engaged in a long, long distance relationship and her 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.080 parents have never approved to me and don't like me 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:31.279 and refuse to actually meet me, and every time they 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:34.040 catch us together, they threatened me. And I've never been 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.560 nothing but respectful to them the one or two times 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:39.760 that I've met them. Can you please help me find 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:42.520 out how to go about how to approach the situation 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:45.719 and what would you do if it was you? A 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:49.000 question comes from Caleb shout out to Alabama. Caleb, thank 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:52.760 you for writing. It's a great question, and I appreciate 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:55.440 you trusting me with something like this. And here's what 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:59.680 I'm going to tell you. There's a reason why there's 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:05.080 this long lasting human tradition of the man asking the 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:10.320 father for permission for marriage to have her hand in marriage. 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:14.520 There's a reason. There's an old tradition of this, and 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:19.080 it's so that stuff like this doesn't happen. So I 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:21.080 would suggest a couple things. We got to walk through this, 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:25.280 but I would suggest a couple of things. One, how 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:29.159 do you feel about being engaged in asking her to 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:34.200 marry you? And you never consulted the father, regardless of 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:36.159 if he didn't want to listen to you or not. 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.240 Regardless of that maybe he didn't want to meet you. 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:42.159 Regardless of that, you said that you've only met him 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:47.440 one or two times. Why I would ask you that? Why? 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:49.679 Because if you're going to say it's a long distance, 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:53.279 get in your truck and go drive there. Get on 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:57.719 a plane and go see him. Go to the dad's work, right, 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:01.360 go to his work and sit outside the work and say, sir, 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:04.480 I need to talk to you. Hey, do this, Caleb. 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:06.680 You don't want to hear trust me, I don't think 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:08.720 you want to hear anything I gotta say. So I'm 0:07:08.720 --> 0:07:11.920 gonna say this as respectfully as I can to you, okay, 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.600 with as much grace as I can. But it sounds 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:16.280 like you're in a tough situation. So I got to 0:07:16.280 --> 0:07:19.800 give you tough answers right, I would break off the 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:23.840 engagement with her, and then I would go to his 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:27.240 work and I would sit outside in the parking lot 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:31.720 and just say, sir, my name is Caleb. I want 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:33.200 to tell you. I know you don't like me. I 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.960 know you disapprove of this. First of all, I just 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:37.840 want to tell you I broke off the engagement and 0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:40.840 he's going to go good and you go. But that 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.480 doesn't mean that I don't love her. I broke it 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:48.440 off because I desperately want your approval because as I 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:51.280 walk through marriage with your daughter, I want to have 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.680 her father involved. I want God willing one day we 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:58.760 have kids, I want you as a granddad. I want 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.800 you to teach our kids it's God willing to go 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:05.800 fishing and to drive a pickup. I want that. I 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:09.120 desperately desire that, and I want to do anything it 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:14.360 takes to earn your approval, to earn your respect. Is 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:16.600 there anything I could do right now to walk through 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:19.160 this as long as it takes. I don't have to 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:21.040 do this tomorrow, but I want to walk through this 0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:25.840 with you because I want to earn your approval. Caleb, 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:27.960 you asked it the very last quest your very last 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:30.600 sentence of your question, you said, what would you do 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:32.679 if this was you? This is what I would do. 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:35.920 I wouldn't go through with this marriage. I wouldn't go 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:39.760 through with this engagement because this is a life of 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:44.840 trouble ahead of you now are there are situations The 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:49.480 dad's a complete jerk, he's a terrible human, he's never 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.720 going to approve of this ever. And she's a sweetheart 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:57.280 and she's great, and the mother is terrible, but she's great. Okay, 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:01.760 that's rare, but that could happen. I understand it. But 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:04.040 you got to put the work in. You've got to 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.000 make sure before you say that he's just a terrible person. 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.720 You make sure you did everything you could, including breaking 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.880 off this engagement right now. Show him that that's how 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:16.480 much he matters to you, that you're going to break 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:20.480 this off even though you still lover to make this work. 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:23.600 The other question I have is why do they think 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:28.000 this about you? What have you done? What what has 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:31.680 happened in your reputation, in your history that leads them 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:34.400 to think you are you're not good for their daughter. 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:38.000 I got a lot of questions. Are y'all too young? 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:41.880 Is there something in your in your past that you've 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:45.920 done that you need to repent for to him, that 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.520 you need forgiveness for from him. Hey, I'm coming to 0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:54.760 you as not only someone that that has been engaged 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:58.240 like you, but also someone that's a dad of a daughter. 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:00.920 I've got a little girl, So you got to understand 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:02.559 when you asked me this question, I got to think 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:06.600 in terms of my daughter. What happens. There's this guy, 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:11.000 he's long distance. He asked London to marry him without 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:13.680 my permission. I don't approve of him. Maybe it's because 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.160 I don't know him. Maybe it's because I think he's 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:19.280 dangerous for her. Maybe I think he might physically abuse 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:25.120 her or verbally abused her. Absolutely, I'm going to disapprove 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:31.959 of that, absolutely, But I could be broken down by 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:35.440 someone that's man enough, Caleb. Listen, someone that's man enough 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:39.560 to come to me and wait it out and say, 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:43.000 mister Smith, I broke off the engagement with your daughter London, 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.880 and I broke it off because of you, because I 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.720 love her and I want to build something with you. 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:53.280 I want to build trust with you. I'm asking for forgiveness. 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.160 I repent for anything that you think that I am, 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:00.080 and I want to be better. I want to be 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:04.679 because I love your daughter that much and I understand 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.360 how you feel, and I want to make this up 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:12.440 to you, and I'll probably say no. But if he's 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.600 persistent and he shows back up the next day and 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:19.480 I say no again and he backs off and he 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:24.120 doesn't get he doesn't go back and re engage, but 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:27.640 he waits it out and earns my trust. Okay, now 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:33.600 I'm listening. And then eventually you get your now girlfriend 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:38.400 and you say, over Christmas, we want to we want 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:40.920 to come and have dinner, and we want to talk 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:42.760 this out with you, guys, because we still love each 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:44.959 other and we want to we want to have dinner 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:49.360 and just talk it out. There's this is all. This 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.560 is all up to you, guys, parents, but we want 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:56.720 to bring this to you because we're still in love. Hey, 0:11:57.160 --> 0:12:00.400 let me tell you the hardest part, Caleb, this is 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:04.720 the hardest part. Okay, he might never come around to this. 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:07.800 Once again, I don't know your history or your past. 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:12.760 He might never come around to this. And if he doesn't, 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:17.040 my opinion, I'm not always right on this podcast, but 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:20.559 I'm just telling you what I feel. In this setting. 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.160 You got to break it off with her because that's 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:27.080 a tough life, and you've got to honor him for that. 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:30.959 She has to honor We haven't talked about her yet, 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:33.720 but she has to honor him. Why is she doing this? 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:36.960 Why is she going along with this long distance thing? 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:39.640 Why is she going along with this engagement when her 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.480 parents hate you? That's on her too. This is a 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:46.000 fifty to fifty deal. That's on her. Okay, So you're 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.800 not taking all the blame here. This is partly on her. 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.800 This is tough. I know you're in a tough situation. 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.040 I got to give you some tough news. That's just 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:58.720 how I feel. Okay, check back in. Do what I said, 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:01.280 try it out. Sounds like you're desperate. You might as well, 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:05.120 right and check back in. Check back in in about 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:12.760 six months, and let's see what happens. Next question says, 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.760 Hey Granger, my name is Dallas. I'm nineteen years old 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:17.880 from a small country called Belie. I just want to 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:19.600 say thanks for all the advice you've given me and 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:24.720 helped me with some of my problems i've had. I've 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:27.160 gotten so much help from other people's questions, and I'm 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:29.319 thankful for your podcast because I could hear from the 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:32.320 other people that are struggling with the same things that 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.360 I am. On a side note, just wondering if you're 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:36.240 ever going to do a concert and Belie love your music. 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:40.240 Yee ye Dallas, Thank you man, I appreciate it. I 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.199 need to be built up sometimes to make sure I'm 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:45.480 not just talking to an empty microphone. Thank you for listening. Brother. 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:47.600 I hope we get to go to Police. I've actually 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:50.000 been to Police on a cruise a long long time ago. 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:53.920 It's an absolutely beautiful country. So buddy, you find me 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:56.080 a venue and we'll come play it. Thank you for 0:13:56.120 --> 0:14:04.520 listening to the podcast over there. Okay. Next question says 0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:07.800 subject line of admitting failure that Grandeur. I'm a longtime 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.840 listener and fan here in Georgia. Shout out at Georgia. 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.160 Really enjoyed the show and I've learned how to love 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:16.400 and heal with your music on my eighty seven silver 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.320 od a bench seat. Within the past year, I've gone 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:22.400 through many highs and lows. I've come through those trials 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:25.400 stronger as a man, but still have some failures that 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:29.440 I'm facing. I'm a student at University of Georgia. I've 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:34.160 had a really toxic relationship and not being happy in 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:36.480 my degree. I let struggles get the best of me, 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:38.760 and I have a couple classes that I will not 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:42.720 be able to pass this semester. I'm embarrassed. I'm ashamed 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:45.200 of the things that I've done to cause this. The 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:48.520 biggest challenge facing me is admitting this upcoming failure to 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.800 my family in a couple of weeks. I did shut 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.280 the door on that relationship months back and have changed 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:56.920 my major to an area I feel that I'll be 0:14:56.960 --> 0:15:00.240 a better fit in. And I've also reconnected with the 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.520 Lord and even have an opportunity to lead a small 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:07.280 group next year. I'm just anxious about the future and 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:09.800 admitting my failure this semester. Do you have any advice 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:16.920 for my situation? Thank you, Grayson, Grayson Buddy, thanks for emailing. Dude, 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:22.320 I have been in your shoes. I went to Texas 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:27.560 A and M, and first my first year there, I 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:35.680 struggled and didn't pass a couple classes. Here's my thoughts 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:39.840 for you. Your question is it sounds like you're getting 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:43.800 things together. It sounds like you're finding your focus now 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:47.040 and you're finding your drive, your motivation to do better 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.480 and a toxic relationship could be a big part of that. 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.680 So she's gone great. But your question is not any 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:59.080 of that. Your question is how do you admit to 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:08.800 your family that you're failing? And that answer is simple honesty. 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:13.720 You go face to face with your mom and dad. 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.240 I'm assuming that's what you're talking about. Your mom and dad. 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.240 You go to them and you just say, can I 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.320 sit down and talk to you guys about something? And 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.920 you look them in the eye and you try not 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.600 to stutter, and you go right into it, and you say, 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:35.360 I've made some bad choices that I regret. And the 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:37.800 outcome of that is I'm going to fail one or 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:44.320 two classes this semester at Georgia. And I not only 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.720 have failed these classes, but I have failed you as 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:53.760 a son. And I am so sorry, and I will 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:57.600 not do this again. If I could regain your trust 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:02.480 and my new focus and this new awakening that I'm 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:04.920 having right now in my life, and with these classes 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.919 and the change of major and the dropping of the 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:12.240 toxic relationship, the new focus that I have will not 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:15.520 allow this to happen again. And I want to give 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.600 you my word as I sit here that although I 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.960 have been a failure in these classes. I will not 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:26.119 do it again. And I'm so sorry. And I know 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.600 that these are just words and you're gonna have to 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:31.720 see this trust built through my actions. But I want 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:33.800 to sit here and tell you that the actions are 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:38.680 at play right now, and I'm willing to take whatever 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:42.560 kind of discipline that you might need me to have 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.200 right now, Like you're going to take away my truck, 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:49.439 or you're gonna I got to pay my own rent, whatever. 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:51.359 I don't know your life situation. I don't know, but 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:59.680 admit to your failure with honesty, with clarity, and be 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:04.720 will willing to accept any kind of repercussions from this failure. 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:10.280 And dude, that's it. That's it. You're going to be 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:13.720 in good shape after that because we all fail. Man, 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:16.399 It's not just a class. We fail things in life 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.560 more than we win them. We fail way more than 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:24.240 we have victory. But that's what makes us better. You're 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:27.120 going to be a better student at Georgia because of this. 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:30.080 Why How do I want to know? How do I 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.760 know this? Because I was there, man, I was there 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:36.320 instead of Georgia, it was Texas, A and M. And 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:40.440 when I refocused and re engaged and went back in 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:45.120 this with this kind of mentality. I'll be honest with you. 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.800 After that, school was easy for me. It was so 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:52.520 hard before that because I wasn't focused. I had other 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.639 distractions all around me, and that wasn't the priority. Then 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:58.399 when it became the priority, and I made that the priority, 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:01.760 and I had to face my dad with this. My 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:05.080 dad was a scary man, six foot three, two hundred 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:09.359 and fifty pounds, and he stared me down. When I 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:12.160 had to face him like that, I didn't do it again, 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:15.480 and he made me pay for school from then on, 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:18.840 and I did willingly. He was paying for school my 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:23.760 freshman year until after that. He pulled all finances from me, 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:31.600 which your dad might do. So I'm manned up and 0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:33.959 I don't regret it one bit. I'm glad I failed 0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:41.520 because I was better for it. Okay, I'll do one 0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:44.159 more and then we'll take a break, says graduation anxiety. 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:47.000 Hey Granger, I'm about to graduate from high school next 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:50.159 week on Friday, and I'm super excited but also anxious 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.120 about it because I'm not entirely sure what I want 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:54.480 to do after graduation, and I'm also anxious that I 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:56.280 might lose a lot of friends that I've made the 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:58.879 past years in high school? Do you have any advice 0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:01.200 for me? I also love it your music, love the podcast. 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:06.040 This question comes from Kyler. Kyler, thank you for emailing 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:13.840 man Kyler. There is nothing to fear or worry about tomorrow. 0:20:13.960 --> 0:20:17.959 Today has enough worries of its own. You are worried 0:20:17.960 --> 0:20:21.040 about things that haven't happened yet and that might not 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:25.120 ever happen when you have enough stuff going on today. 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:28.080 Look at this. You're about to graduate high school. It's amazing. 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:33.240 That's amazing. That is a huge accomplishment, probably the biggest 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:37.040 accomplishment you've ever done in your life. Right, You're about 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:40.800 to graduate high school. That's huge. I remember me doing that. 0:20:40.800 --> 0:20:47.760 That was like, wow, this seemed impossible. Now it's happening. Okay, 0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:52.000 So you don't know what you're gonna do after graduation. 0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:58.080 So what who does at eighteen? Who does? Very rarely 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.639 does someone go out of high school and I know 0:21:00.720 --> 0:21:02.399 exactly what i want to do the rest of my 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:04.600 life and I'm gonna stack it up this way and 0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:08.360 then I'm gonna end up here. You don't, That's okay, 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:13.040 most people don't. So you do the next thing That's 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:14.679 always what we do in life when when we're at 0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:18.280 a crossroads, we don't look too far ahead. We just 0:21:18.400 --> 0:21:21.719 do the next thing. The next thing for you might 0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:25.040 might be need to make some money. I need to 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:27.919 make some money. So you do the next thing. You 0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:30.199 go make some money. You don't have to figure out 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:34.159 your final career next week after graduation. Now like you 0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:36.359 get your diploma and they go, okay, now you have 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:38.320 you have five minutes to decide what you're going to 0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:43.280 do the rest of your life. No. No, If you 0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:46.840 have the luxury, take off the summer, take off for 0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:50.280 the summer, do nothing. Think. Get a piece of paper 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:52.959 and write down things you're interested in, things you're not 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:56.560 interested in. Make some columns. Things I like to do, Okay, 0:21:57.280 --> 0:22:00.600 things I love, things I'm passionate about. Are you passionate 0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:03.120 about making a lot of money, Well, that's a different column. 0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:06.239 Are you passionate about doing things that you love that 0:22:06.320 --> 0:22:09.080 might not be something that pays Okay, that's a new column. 0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:12.000 And then go off of those things and say what 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:14.520 does it take to get me there? What's the next 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:16.280 step of say you want to go you want to 0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:19.719 be a police officer, what's the next step to becoming 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:24.200 a police officer. That's finding out the local police academy, 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:29.360 finding out how much it cost to go to the academy. Rights, 0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:31.680 that would be the next step. You don't think about 0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:33.600 what do I want to do when I'm a police officer? 0:22:33.680 --> 0:22:35.120 What am I going to do at a traffic stop 0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:37.359 if someone pulls a gun on me? Like, that's not 0:22:37.440 --> 0:22:41.160 the next step. The next step is where's the closest 0:22:41.160 --> 0:22:43.160 police academy and how much does it cost? And when 0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:48.119 can I enroll? Right, So think smaller, don't think so 0:22:48.359 --> 0:22:51.919 far out. Think here now the next step and the 0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:54.440 friends thing. I wouldn't worry about the friends thing. You're 0:22:54.440 --> 0:22:56.960 worried about losing friends that you've had in high school? 0:22:57.160 --> 0:22:59.560 Why why are you going to lose them? We live 0:22:59.560 --> 0:23:02.879 in a world that's so connected now with social media 0:23:02.920 --> 0:23:07.240 and text messages. Just start a text threat. Hey, even better, 0:23:07.320 --> 0:23:09.560 ask them what they're doing. What are you guys doing? 0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:12.800 We're going to community college? Hey? Cool, that might be 0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:14.879 something I want to do. We're going to text school. 0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:18.240 We're gonna go work for this farm down the road. 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:21.000 Maybe I'll do that for six months, Maybe I'll do 0:23:21.040 --> 0:23:23.680 that for a year. You don't have to be at 0:23:23.680 --> 0:23:26.720 work at that farm the rest of your life. Go 0:23:26.840 --> 0:23:32.600 do it, the next thing, do the next thing. We'll 0:23:32.640 --> 0:23:40.480 take a break, be right back. This podcast is sponsored 0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:43.439