1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,600 Speaker 1: Caleb, you asked it the very last question, your very 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: last sentence of your question, you said, what would you 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: do if this was you? This is what I would do. 4 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,879 Speaker 1: I wouldn't go through with this marriage. I wouldn't go 5 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: through with this engagement because this is a life of 6 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: trouble ahead of you. What's up, everybody, Welcome back to 7 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: the Grangersmith Podcast. The format of me answering your questions, 8 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: no matter the subject. We seem to go through a 9 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: lot of different kinds of things that life throws at you. 10 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: And then if you found me on TikTok or Instagram, 11 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: or you heard about me on After Midnight, maybe my 12 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: own post that I've made about the podcast. Hey, wherever 13 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,840 Speaker 1: you came from, thanks for being here, wherever you're listening, 14 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: whatever platform you're on. I'm just glad you're here. We 15 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: talk about things like me and you are sitting in 16 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: the cab of a truck together or sitting around a 17 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: campfire and just talking through it. You could email me 18 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I put it in 19 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: the queue. I have a few requests from you, guys. 20 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: Don't make the email too long, make it about the 21 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: length of a phone. That's easier for me to read. 22 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: If it gets too long, it's harder for this format. 23 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: And the second thing I have for you is don't 24 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: send the same email twice, okay, because I know that 25 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: some of y'all like to send email the same email 26 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: every day to make sure that you get in the queue, 27 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 1: and they just get deleted. So don't worry about it. 28 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: You send it one time, it gets put in the 29 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: queue and we'll walk through it. Okay, let's get started. 30 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: This first question it says questions about marriage. Hey, granger, 31 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,120 Speaker 1: my name is Ben, and I've been dating my amazing 32 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: girlfriend for almost a year and things are going great. 33 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 1: She has four kids that are fourteen, nine, seven, and five. 34 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: Being a step parent has had its challenges, but they've 35 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: all started calling me dad. It's a great feeling. The 36 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: kids know I'm going to marry their mom, and so 37 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: does her family. My question is how do you feel 38 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: about one year of dating? Do you think it's too 39 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: soon for me to ask her to marry me? Or 40 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 1: should I wait a little bit longer. I appreciate you 41 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: listening and answering this. Keep up the great work from Ben. Yeah, Ben, 42 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: Amber and I dated Amber and I were engaged for 43 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: seven months, and we dated for like four or five 44 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: months before that, So we dated four or five months. 45 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: I asked her to marry me, were engaged seven months. 46 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: So all that happened from when I met her to 47 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: when I married her, it happened in less than a year. 48 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: So of course my answer to you is absolutely, you 49 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: could do this. Here's the thing, we overthink this as 50 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: a culture. We overthink engagements and dating and finding the 51 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: right one and the soulmate. We just we overthink it 52 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: so much because think about it in terms of you're 53 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: looking to find your life lifetime partner, right and so 54 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 1: you want to find someone that's that's passionate about God 55 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: and loves you, and you could see how they treat 56 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: other people. So with your girlfriend girlfriend right now, you 57 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,399 Speaker 1: could see how she treats her kids. That's a huge indicator. 58 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: How does she treat people around you? How does she 59 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: treat perfect strangers? So you can quickly identify a woman 60 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: that you love, that you could be compatible with for 61 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: the rest of your life. It doesn't take that long 62 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: to figure that out. The catch is, and this is 63 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: the hardest part about it, is once you make that 64 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: decision and you say yes, she's the one I've I've 65 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: carefully watched her, I've listened to her. I know how 66 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: she treats other people. I know her relationship with her 67 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: parents and with God and with me. Here's the hard part. 68 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: The hard part is once you commit to that, you 69 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: stick with it, not because your heart are your feelings, 70 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: but because your brain tells you I am making a 71 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: commitment and I will not break this commitment. Isn't that 72 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: crazy that that's hard? But in this culture, that's the 73 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: most difficult thing, is keeping your word till death. Do 74 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: us part through sickness and through health, That's what we say, 75 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: But that doesn't happen. We take those terms so loosely 76 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 1: because our heart just falls for someone else, and that 77 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: and our you know, we change our minds because our 78 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: heart takes us somewhere else. It should be the opposite. 79 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: Your heart doesn't get to change your mind. Your mind 80 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: gets to change your heart. Your mind controls your feelings, 81 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 1: not your feelings control your mind. Make sure that happens. 82 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: Make sure that once you make that commitment to her, 83 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: especially she's got these kids, she's got four kids. Don't 84 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: mess this up for her. Don't mess this up for 85 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 1: those kids. So watch her learn from her and then 86 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: once you make that commitment, there's no getting out of it, 87 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 1: no matter what your heart tells you, what your feelings 88 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,160 Speaker 1: tell you. And that's it. It's as simple as that. 89 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: It's so difficult and so simple at the same time. Okay, 90 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: I wish you the best. Next question says help please 91 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: life advice. Hey Granger, my name is Caleb. I'm from Alabama. 92 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm engaged in a long, long distance relationship and her 93 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: parents have never approved to me and don't like me 94 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 1: and refuse to actually meet me, and every time they 95 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 1: catch us together, they threatened me. And I've never been 96 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: nothing but respectful to them the one or two times 97 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 1: that I've met them. Can you please help me find 98 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: out how to go about how to approach the situation 99 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: and what would you do if it was you? A 100 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 1: question comes from Caleb shout out to Alabama. Caleb, thank 101 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: you for writing. It's a great question, and I appreciate 102 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: you trusting me with something like this. And here's what 103 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you. There's a reason why there's 104 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 1: this long lasting human tradition of the man asking the 105 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: father for permission for marriage to have her hand in marriage. 106 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: There's a reason. There's an old tradition of this, and 107 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: it's so that stuff like this doesn't happen. So I 108 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: would suggest a couple things. We got to walk through this, 109 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:25,280 Speaker 1: but I would suggest a couple of things. One, how 110 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: do you feel about being engaged in asking her to 111 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: marry you? And you never consulted the father, regardless of 112 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 1: if he didn't want to listen to you or not. 113 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: Regardless of that maybe he didn't want to meet you. 114 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: Regardless of that, you said that you've only met him 115 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: one or two times. Why I would ask you that? Why? 116 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,679 Speaker 1: Because if you're going to say it's a long distance, 117 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,279 Speaker 1: get in your truck and go drive there. Get on 118 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: a plane and go see him. Go to the dad's work, right, 119 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: go to his work and sit outside the work and say, sir, 120 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 1: I need to talk to you. Hey, do this, Caleb. 121 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: You don't want to hear trust me, I don't think 122 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,720 Speaker 1: you want to hear anything I gotta say. So I'm 123 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: gonna say this as respectfully as I can to you, okay, 124 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: with as much grace as I can. But it sounds 125 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: like you're in a tough situation. So I got to 126 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: give you tough answers right, I would break off the 127 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: engagement with her, and then I would go to his 128 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: work and I would sit outside in the parking lot 129 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: and just say, sir, my name is Caleb. I want 130 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: to tell you. I know you don't like me. I 131 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: know you disapprove of this. First of all, I just 132 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 1: want to tell you I broke off the engagement and 133 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: he's going to go good and you go. But that 134 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I don't love her. I broke it 135 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: off because I desperately want your approval because as I 136 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: walk through marriage with your daughter, I want to have 137 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: her father involved. I want God willing one day we 138 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: have kids, I want you as a granddad. I want 139 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: you to teach our kids it's God willing to go 140 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: fishing and to drive a pickup. I want that. I 141 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: desperately desire that, and I want to do anything it 142 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: takes to earn your approval, to earn your respect. Is 143 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: there anything I could do right now to walk through 144 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: this as long as it takes. I don't have to 145 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: do this tomorrow, but I want to walk through this 146 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: with you because I want to earn your approval. Caleb, 147 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: you asked it the very last quest your very last 148 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: sentence of your question, you said, what would you do 149 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,679 Speaker 1: if this was you? This is what I would do. 150 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: I wouldn't go through with this marriage. I wouldn't go 151 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: through with this engagement because this is a life of 152 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: trouble ahead of you now are there are situations The 153 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: dad's a complete jerk, he's a terrible human, he's never 154 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 1: going to approve of this ever. And she's a sweetheart 155 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: and she's great, and the mother is terrible, but she's great. Okay, 156 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: that's rare, but that could happen. I understand it. But 157 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: you got to put the work in. You've got to 158 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: make sure before you say that he's just a terrible person. 159 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 1: You make sure you did everything you could, including breaking 160 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: off this engagement right now. Show him that that's how 161 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: much he matters to you, that you're going to break 162 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 1: this off even though you still lover to make this work. 163 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: The other question I have is why do they think 164 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: this about you? What have you done? What what has 165 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 1: happened in your reputation, in your history that leads them 166 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: to think you are you're not good for their daughter. 167 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: I got a lot of questions. Are y'all too young? 168 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: Is there something in your in your past that you've 169 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: done that you need to repent for to him, that 170 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: you need forgiveness for from him. Hey, I'm coming to 171 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: you as not only someone that that has been engaged 172 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: like you, but also someone that's a dad of a daughter. 173 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 1: I've got a little girl, So you got to understand 174 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,559 Speaker 1: when you asked me this question, I got to think 175 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 1: in terms of my daughter. What happens. There's this guy, 176 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: he's long distance. He asked London to marry him without 177 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 1: my permission. I don't approve of him. Maybe it's because 178 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: I don't know him. Maybe it's because I think he's 179 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: dangerous for her. Maybe I think he might physically abuse 180 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: her or verbally abused her. Absolutely, I'm going to disapprove 181 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:31,959 Speaker 1: of that, absolutely, But I could be broken down by 182 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: someone that's man enough, Caleb. Listen, someone that's man enough 183 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: to come to me and wait it out and say, 184 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 1: mister Smith, I broke off the engagement with your daughter London, 185 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: and I broke it off because of you, because I 186 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: love her and I want to build something with you. 187 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: I want to build trust with you. I'm asking for forgiveness. 188 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: I repent for anything that you think that I am, 189 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,080 Speaker 1: and I want to be better. I want to be 190 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:04,679 Speaker 1: because I love your daughter that much and I understand 191 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: how you feel, and I want to make this up 192 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 1: to you, and I'll probably say no. But if he's 193 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: persistent and he shows back up the next day and 194 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: I say no again and he backs off and he 195 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: doesn't get he doesn't go back and re engage, but 196 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: he waits it out and earns my trust. Okay, now 197 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: I'm listening. And then eventually you get your now girlfriend 198 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 1: and you say, over Christmas, we want to we want 199 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: to come and have dinner, and we want to talk 200 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: this out with you, guys, because we still love each 201 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,959 Speaker 1: other and we want to we want to have dinner 202 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 1: and just talk it out. There's this is all. This 203 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: is all up to you, guys, parents, but we want 204 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 1: to bring this to you because we're still in love. Hey, 205 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: let me tell you the hardest part, Caleb, this is 206 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 1: the hardest part. Okay, he might never come around to this. 207 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: Once again, I don't know your history or your past. 208 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 1: He might never come around to this. And if he doesn't, 209 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: my opinion, I'm not always right on this podcast, but 210 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,559 Speaker 1: I'm just telling you what I feel. In this setting. 211 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: You got to break it off with her because that's 212 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,080 Speaker 1: a tough life, and you've got to honor him for that. 213 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,959 Speaker 1: She has to honor We haven't talked about her yet, 214 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 1: but she has to honor him. Why is she doing this? 215 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 1: Why is she going along with this long distance thing? 216 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 1: Why is she going along with this engagement when her 217 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: parents hate you? That's on her too. This is a 218 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 1: fifty to fifty deal. That's on her. Okay, So you're 219 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: not taking all the blame here. This is partly on her. 220 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: This is tough. I know you're in a tough situation. 221 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: I got to give you some tough news. That's just 222 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: how I feel. Okay, check back in. Do what I said, 223 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: try it out. Sounds like you're desperate. You might as well, 224 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: right and check back in. Check back in in about 225 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: six months, and let's see what happens. Next question says, 226 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: Hey Granger, my name is Dallas. I'm nineteen years old 227 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: from a small country called Belie. I just want to 228 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: say thanks for all the advice you've given me and 229 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 1: helped me with some of my problems i've had. I've 230 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: gotten so much help from other people's questions, and I'm 231 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,319 Speaker 1: thankful for your podcast because I could hear from the 232 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: other people that are struggling with the same things that 233 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: I am. On a side note, just wondering if you're 234 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 1: ever going to do a concert and Belie love your music. 235 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: Yee ye Dallas, Thank you man, I appreciate it. I 236 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,199 Speaker 1: need to be built up sometimes to make sure I'm 237 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: not just talking to an empty microphone. Thank you for listening. Brother. 238 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: I hope we get to go to Police. I've actually 239 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 1: been to Police on a cruise a long long time ago. 240 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: It's an absolutely beautiful country. So buddy, you find me 241 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: a venue and we'll come play it. Thank you for 242 00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 1: listening to the podcast over there. Okay. Next question says 243 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: subject line of admitting failure that Grandeur. I'm a longtime 244 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 1: listener and fan here in Georgia. Shout out at Georgia. 245 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: Really enjoyed the show and I've learned how to love 246 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: and heal with your music on my eighty seven silver 247 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: od a bench seat. Within the past year, I've gone 248 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: through many highs and lows. I've come through those trials 249 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: stronger as a man, but still have some failures that 250 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: I'm facing. I'm a student at University of Georgia. I've 251 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: had a really toxic relationship and not being happy in 252 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,480 Speaker 1: my degree. I let struggles get the best of me, 253 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: and I have a couple classes that I will not 254 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 1: be able to pass this semester. I'm embarrassed. I'm ashamed 255 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: of the things that I've done to cause this. The 256 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 1: biggest challenge facing me is admitting this upcoming failure to 257 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: my family in a couple of weeks. I did shut 258 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: the door on that relationship months back and have changed 259 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 1: my major to an area I feel that I'll be 260 00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 1: a better fit in. And I've also reconnected with the 261 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 1: Lord and even have an opportunity to lead a small 262 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 1: group next year. I'm just anxious about the future and 263 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: admitting my failure this semester. Do you have any advice 264 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 1: for my situation? Thank you, Grayson, Grayson Buddy, thanks for emailing. Dude, 265 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: I have been in your shoes. I went to Texas 266 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: A and M, and first my first year there, I 267 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: struggled and didn't pass a couple classes. Here's my thoughts 268 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: for you. Your question is it sounds like you're getting 269 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: things together. It sounds like you're finding your focus now 270 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: and you're finding your drive, your motivation to do better 271 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: and a toxic relationship could be a big part of that. 272 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: So she's gone great. But your question is not any 273 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: of that. Your question is how do you admit to 274 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: your family that you're failing? And that answer is simple honesty. 275 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: You go face to face with your mom and dad. 276 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: I'm assuming that's what you're talking about. Your mom and dad. 277 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: You go to them and you just say, can I 278 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 1: sit down and talk to you guys about something? And 279 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: you look them in the eye and you try not 280 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: to stutter, and you go right into it, and you say, 281 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: I've made some bad choices that I regret. And the 282 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: outcome of that is I'm going to fail one or 283 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: two classes this semester at Georgia. And I not only 284 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: have failed these classes, but I have failed you as 285 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 1: a son. And I am so sorry, and I will 286 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: not do this again. If I could regain your trust 287 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: and my new focus and this new awakening that I'm 288 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 1: having right now in my life, and with these classes 289 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 1: and the change of major and the dropping of the 290 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: toxic relationship, the new focus that I have will not 291 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: allow this to happen again. And I want to give 292 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: you my word as I sit here that although I 293 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 1: have been a failure in these classes. I will not 294 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:26,119 Speaker 1: do it again. And I'm so sorry. And I know 295 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 1: that these are just words and you're gonna have to 296 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 1: see this trust built through my actions. But I want 297 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 1: to sit here and tell you that the actions are 298 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:38,680 Speaker 1: at play right now, and I'm willing to take whatever 299 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: kind of discipline that you might need me to have 300 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,200 Speaker 1: right now, Like you're going to take away my truck, 301 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:49,439 Speaker 1: or you're gonna I got to pay my own rent, whatever. 302 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: I don't know your life situation. I don't know, but 303 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 1: admit to your failure with honesty, with clarity, and be 304 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: will willing to accept any kind of repercussions from this failure. 305 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:10,280 Speaker 1: And dude, that's it. That's it. You're going to be 306 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 1: in good shape after that because we all fail. Man, 307 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,399 Speaker 1: It's not just a class. We fail things in life 308 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: more than we win them. We fail way more than 309 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 1: we have victory. But that's what makes us better. You're 310 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 1: going to be a better student at Georgia because of this. 311 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: Why How do I want to know? How do I 312 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 1: know this? Because I was there, man, I was there 313 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: instead of Georgia, it was Texas, A and M. And 314 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:40,440 Speaker 1: when I refocused and re engaged and went back in 315 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: this with this kind of mentality. I'll be honest with you. 316 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: After that, school was easy for me. It was so 317 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 1: hard before that because I wasn't focused. I had other 318 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 1: distractions all around me, and that wasn't the priority. Then 319 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 1: when it became the priority, and I made that the priority, 320 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 1: and I had to face my dad with this. My 321 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 1: dad was a scary man, six foot three, two hundred 322 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:09,359 Speaker 1: and fifty pounds, and he stared me down. When I 323 00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:12,160 Speaker 1: had to face him like that, I didn't do it again, 324 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: and he made me pay for school from then on, 325 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 1: and I did willingly. He was paying for school my 326 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: freshman year until after that. He pulled all finances from me, 327 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: which your dad might do. So I'm manned up and 328 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,959 Speaker 1: I don't regret it one bit. I'm glad I failed 329 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 1: because I was better for it. Okay, I'll do one 330 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,159 Speaker 1: more and then we'll take a break, says graduation anxiety. 331 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 1: Hey Granger, I'm about to graduate from high school next 332 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 1: week on Friday, and I'm super excited but also anxious 333 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,120 Speaker 1: about it because I'm not entirely sure what I want 334 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: to do after graduation, and I'm also anxious that I 335 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: might lose a lot of friends that I've made the 336 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,879 Speaker 1: past years in high school? Do you have any advice 337 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 1: for me? I also love it your music, love the podcast. 338 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: This question comes from Kyler. Kyler, thank you for emailing 339 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: man Kyler. There is nothing to fear or worry about tomorrow. 340 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,959 Speaker 1: Today has enough worries of its own. You are worried 341 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 1: about things that haven't happened yet and that might not 342 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,120 Speaker 1: ever happen when you have enough stuff going on today. 343 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 1: Look at this. You're about to graduate high school. It's amazing. 344 00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 1: That's amazing. That is a huge accomplishment, probably the biggest 345 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: accomplishment you've ever done in your life. Right, You're about 346 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: to graduate high school. That's huge. I remember me doing that. 347 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 1: That was like, wow, this seemed impossible. Now it's happening. Okay, 348 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: So you don't know what you're gonna do after graduation. 349 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: So what who does at eighteen? Who does? Very rarely 350 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 1: does someone go out of high school and I know 351 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 1: exactly what i want to do the rest of my 352 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 1: life and I'm gonna stack it up this way and 353 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,360 Speaker 1: then I'm gonna end up here. You don't, That's okay, 354 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: most people don't. So you do the next thing That's 355 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,679 Speaker 1: always what we do in life when when we're at 356 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: a crossroads, we don't look too far ahead. We just 357 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,719 Speaker 1: do the next thing. The next thing for you might 358 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: might be need to make some money. I need to 359 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,919 Speaker 1: make some money. So you do the next thing. You 360 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,199 Speaker 1: go make some money. You don't have to figure out 361 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,159 Speaker 1: your final career next week after graduation. Now like you 362 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 1: get your diploma and they go, okay, now you have 363 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: you have five minutes to decide what you're going to 364 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 1: do the rest of your life. No. No, If you 365 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 1: have the luxury, take off the summer, take off for 366 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 1: the summer, do nothing. Think. Get a piece of paper 367 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,959 Speaker 1: and write down things you're interested in, things you're not 368 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 1: interested in. Make some columns. Things I like to do, Okay, 369 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 1: things I love, things I'm passionate about. Are you passionate 370 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,120 Speaker 1: about making a lot of money, Well, that's a different column. 371 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,239 Speaker 1: Are you passionate about doing things that you love that 372 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: might not be something that pays Okay, that's a new column. 373 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 1: And then go off of those things and say what 374 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 1: does it take to get me there? What's the next 375 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 1: step of say you want to go you want to 376 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,719 Speaker 1: be a police officer, what's the next step to becoming 377 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:24,200 Speaker 1: a police officer. That's finding out the local police academy, 378 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,360 Speaker 1: finding out how much it cost to go to the academy. Rights, 379 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,680 Speaker 1: that would be the next step. You don't think about 380 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: what do I want to do when I'm a police officer? 381 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 1: What am I going to do at a traffic stop 382 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 1: if someone pulls a gun on me? Like, that's not 383 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:41,160 Speaker 1: the next step. The next step is where's the closest 384 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,160 Speaker 1: police academy and how much does it cost? And when 385 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:48,119 Speaker 1: can I enroll? Right, So think smaller, don't think so 386 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,919 Speaker 1: far out. Think here now the next step and the 387 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,440 Speaker 1: friends thing. I wouldn't worry about the friends thing. You're 388 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: worried about losing friends that you've had in high school? 389 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 1: Why why are you going to lose them? We live 390 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,879 Speaker 1: in a world that's so connected now with social media 391 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 1: and text messages. Just start a text threat. Hey, even better, 392 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: ask them what they're doing. What are you guys doing? 393 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: We're going to community college? Hey? Cool, that might be 394 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,879 Speaker 1: something I want to do. We're going to text school. 395 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 1: We're gonna go work for this farm down the road. 396 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: Maybe I'll do that for six months, Maybe I'll do 397 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: that for a year. You don't have to be at 398 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,720 Speaker 1: work at that farm the rest of your life. Go 399 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: do it, the next thing, do the next thing. We'll 400 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: take a break, be right back. This podcast is sponsored 401 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,439 Speaker 1: by better Help. You know life could be overwhelming and 402 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 1: many people can get burned out even without knowing it. 403 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 1: Symptoms can include lack of motivation, feeling helpless or trapped, detachment, fatigue, 404 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: and more. I mean, I always have to try to 405 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,879 Speaker 1: find balance between the podcast and the radio show and 406 00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: touring and making movies and making music. I always am 407 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,400 Speaker 1: looking for ways to slow down and find that balance. 408 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 1: So we associate burnout with work, but that's not the 409 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 1: only cause. Any of our roles in life could lead 410 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,439 Speaker 1: to us feeling burned out. And better Help Online therapy 411 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 1: wants to remind you to prioritize yourself. Talking with someone 412 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 1: can help, and it helps you figure out what's causing 413 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 1: the stress in your life. Amber and I have used 414 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 1: therapy several times and it's important. Betterhelp is customized online 415 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 1: therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions 416 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,879 Speaker 1: with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone 417 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: on camera if you don't even want to. It's more 418 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 1: affordable than in person therapy and you could be matched 419 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 1: with a therapist in under forty eight hours. Grangersmith podcast 420 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,160 Speaker 1: listeners get ten percent off their first month at betterhelp 421 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,959 Speaker 1: dot com slash granger. That's better h LP dot com 422 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: slash Granger. You could also find me at cameo dot com. 423 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: So if you ever need a personal shout out video, 424 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: or an announcement video, or some encouragement at all. If 425 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 1: you want on a personalized video from me, go to 426 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: cameo dot com slash granger, or you can download the 427 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:12,959 Speaker 1: Cameo app and search for me. Okay, let's get back 428 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,440 Speaker 1: to some questions. Subject line here is called eternal marriage 429 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: from anonymous Hey Granger loved the Smith. I'm seventy and 430 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,000 Speaker 1: I was married thirty six and a half years, was 431 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: sealed to my spouse. I've been single for fifteen plus years. 432 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,159 Speaker 1: Haven't met anyone in my in my age group and 433 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,200 Speaker 1: or anyone single in my age group. And I have 434 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 1: to say that I do spend ninety percent of my 435 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 1: time with my animals, work on a small ranch, and 436 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 1: leave ranch for groceries and Bible study, et cetera. Guess 437 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: my question is how to change an inner feeling that 438 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,120 Speaker 1: if I was eternally sealed to my spouse? Is there 439 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:55,120 Speaker 1: anything I would be challenging by being with someone else? 440 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 1: Let me say that without stuttering. How to change that 441 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 1: inner feeling that if if I was eternally sealed to 442 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 1: my spouse, is there anything I would be challenging by 443 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 1: being with someone else? Thanks for listening to the long 444 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:13,959 Speaker 1: Get the Facts email. Okay, Anonymous, Thank you for watching 445 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 1: the Smiths and listen to the podcast. And I love 446 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: your question and it's amazing. Let me first say, it's 447 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 1: amazing to talk to someone that was married thirty six 448 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 1: and a half years. That's a beautiful thing. My mother, too, 449 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 1: is a widow with about the same statistics as you, 450 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:38,280 Speaker 1: including the ranch and the animals and the groceries and 451 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 1: the Bible study. But let me say something, this is 452 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,560 Speaker 1: very very important. There is no such thing as eternal marriage. 453 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:50,160 Speaker 1: That's what they'll tell you in the Mormon Church. And 454 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,120 Speaker 1: I will get a lot of emails from my friends 455 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: at the Church of Jesus Christ the Latter day Saints. 456 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: They email me all the time to try to correct me. 457 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,440 Speaker 1: And I've read the Book of Mormon. I have talked 458 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:06,199 Speaker 1: to many, many, many many of my Mormon friends, a 459 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 1: lot of them through this podcast and through emails that 460 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 1: I get, and they will challenge me every time on 461 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:15,119 Speaker 1: eternal marriage. But that is not biblical. Jesus talks about it. 462 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,199 Speaker 1: Eternal marriage is not true, Apostle Paul talks about it, 463 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: and so Anonymous. You'll find this many times as you 464 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: go through your Bible study. Marriage is not eternal. And 465 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 1: I know I know the arguments and they are out 466 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: of context. The scriptures that I will get will be 467 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,200 Speaker 1: what is bound on earth is bound in heaven, and 468 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 1: that is not concerning marriage. So your question is how 469 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 1: do I change the inner feeling that if I was 470 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 1: eternally sealed to my spouse. Well, as we mentioned a 471 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,600 Speaker 1: little bit earlier on the podcast, that's a feeling. That's 472 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,720 Speaker 1: a feeling. So you could change feelings by using your brain. 473 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 1: And so many times we take the opposite approach. Like 474 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: I said said earlier on the earlier question, so many 475 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,959 Speaker 1: times our feelings change our mind. But really, and this 476 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: is biblical too, our mind is what's going to change 477 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,760 Speaker 1: our feeling. So by you reading and do a quick 478 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,200 Speaker 1: search on it, do a quick do a quick search, 479 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: go to Google, so that you could quickly find these scriptures, 480 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: they're going to talk about marriage that once your spouse dies, 481 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 1: you were are you were then released from that covenant. Okay, 482 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,520 Speaker 1: you're released from that covenant. Now. The Bible does suggest 483 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 1: that at your age, maybe it's best to be single now. 484 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: And it also says that we need to look after 485 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: the widows and take care of our widows. That's biblical too, 486 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: and and so I and I could speak to this 487 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: because you're my mother's age and you have a very 488 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:54,040 Speaker 1: similar story to my mother. So I would say absolutely, people, 489 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 1: people need to look after you and take care of 490 00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: you your family, and you don't have to be getting 491 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 1: married again, but you can, absolutely, But that's not up 492 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 1: to you. That's up to God. And you know that, 493 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: and that you'll find that through reading your Bible as well. 494 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: But you you look around you and your life, and 495 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: I understand that you're spending so much time at your 496 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,600 Speaker 1: ranch and doing your own thing, and so you have 497 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 1: ten percent of your time left over to find someone. 498 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 1: But what all you're gonna do is you're gonna look 499 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 1: around you, and you're going to look at someone that's 500 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 1: that's seeking God and studying their Bible and maybe working 501 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: on their ranch and they're single, and there they're they're 502 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 1: a widower just like you, and you take them out 503 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 1: to coffee and you get to know them, and there's 504 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: absolutely a chance that you'll find someone and you'll love again, 505 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 1: and you could have an equal love that you had 506 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 1: for your spouse. Not the same, and it's not replacing 507 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: it by any means, but you could have a strong, 508 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 1: strong love. It's amazing how humans could have extra space 509 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 1: in our he art to love again or to have 510 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 1: another child. Like, for instance, you have a child and 511 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: you you know, you hold up your child and you think, 512 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: I never thought I could love this much because I 513 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: loved my spouse, and now I have this extra love 514 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 1: for this kid, and I'm complete. Now I've loved this 515 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: kid so much. Until you have the second kid, and 516 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 1: you go, I had no idea that my heart had 517 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 1: space for another love, and now I'm holding this little, 518 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: precious baby. And you think that until you have the 519 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 1: third kid, and then you think, guys, I've got four kids, 520 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 1: and I've thought this four times, how could I love anymore? 521 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: How is it possible that my heart could open up 522 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,960 Speaker 1: and love something all over again this much? And it's 523 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 1: the same thing with marriage, so you're gonna, you're gonna 524 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 1: you might find somebody, and you're not ever gonna replace 525 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 1: your husband, but you could love a lot wholeheartedly enough 526 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 1: to marry. Now, we'll say, after I said all that, 527 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 1: there is one eternal marriage and that's our relationship, our covenant. Well, Jesus, 528 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:12,640 Speaker 1: that's eternal. That's the covenant that never goes away. Because 529 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 1: when we go to heaven, we're all gonna be brothers 530 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 1: and sisters in Christ. And it's hard to understand that. 531 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,840 Speaker 1: It's hard to grasp that with our small brains, we're 532 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: not capable of truly understanding an eternal covenant like that. 533 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 1: But it is biblical that you and your spouse are 534 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 1: now that covenant is now released. I don't want to 535 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 1: say broken or tarnished because you had a great thirty 536 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: six and a half year old relationship, right, that's incredible, 537 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 1: But you're now released from that covenant and it's totally 538 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 1: totally fine. Next question, subject line contentment. Hey Granger, I 539 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,760 Speaker 1: love your podcast and your constant encouragement and advice. Thank 540 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: y'all so much. My name is Kayla. I'm twenty three 541 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,200 Speaker 1: years old from California. I've dealt with a lot of 542 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 1: heartbreak in my life already, whether it was from a guy, 543 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,520 Speaker 1: losing friendships or losing a loved one. More recently, I've 544 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 1: just been struggling on how to be content and joyful 545 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,040 Speaker 1: in the present moment. What would be your advice on 546 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: being content and finding joy even in the midst of 547 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,440 Speaker 1: hurt and frustration. I continue praying because I know that 548 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 1: I can only find true sidifaction in the Lord, but 549 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 1: it's just difficult sometimes. And adding to that, I went 550 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 1: to a Christian college and everyone is getting married and engaged, 551 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 1: and I know it's God's timing, but I just feel 552 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 1: behind because I'm not even dating anybody and feeling like 553 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: I can't be content when other people are basically living 554 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,040 Speaker 1: the dream, if that makes sense. Thank you for all 555 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 1: you do, Kayla. Thanks for your email. I appreciate you. 556 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:46,479 Speaker 1: Shout out to California. You are not alone in what 557 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,960 Speaker 1: you're feeling and what you're thinking. You're looking around and 558 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 1: you're going to Instagram. Gosh, Instagram is so bad for us, guys. 559 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 1: Social media is so bad for us because we look 560 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 1: around and we see everyone on their best day. We 561 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: look at these other people around us and they're all 562 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,320 Speaker 1: getting married and they're so happy, and they're posting pictures 563 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 1: with the champagne glass and they're holding up their left 564 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,719 Speaker 1: hand and they got this diamond ring on it and 565 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 1: they're so happy, and we're not. How could that be? 566 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,520 Speaker 1: Why are they so lucky? Why are we not? What's 567 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,920 Speaker 1: wrong with us when we go back and look in 568 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,240 Speaker 1: the mirror and we say, there's something wrong, there's something 569 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: wrong with me. No, that's a lie. That is a lie. 570 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 1: It's a lie that you're seeing on Instagram because you're 571 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:32,160 Speaker 1: seeing you're seeing that girl that posted that picture, and 572 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: she has fifteen pictures and she found the best angle 573 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 1: with the best smile and the best eyes that she has, 574 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 1: and then she colored it and put a filter on it, 575 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 1: and then she tossed it around and she zoomed in 576 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,320 Speaker 1: so you don't see the waiter in the background of 577 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: the restaurant, and she cropped it just perfect. And then 578 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 1: she wrote a caption and then she deleted it and 579 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,080 Speaker 1: then wrote another one, and then she showed it to 580 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: her friends, and then they told her to add a 581 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,360 Speaker 1: few more words, and so she changed the caption again. 582 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: She's making a fake idea of what is happening to her. 583 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: I do it. Everyone does it. That's what we do. 584 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,720 Speaker 1: That's the evil and social media. So you're not seeing 585 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 1: the truth. You're not seeing that she's in a relationship 586 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 1: that they it's very normal, and they have disagreements, and 587 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:24,120 Speaker 1: he's another human and he's not the best human in 588 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: the world. None of us are. And then they're gonna 589 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,440 Speaker 1: get married and they're gonna have problems. They're not seeing that, 590 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 1: so it's a false representation of what you're saying. So 591 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: let me just get that part of your question out. 592 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,360 Speaker 1: The other part and I could use this for so 593 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:43,239 Speaker 1: many questions that y'all send me, but your advice on 594 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 1: being content and finding joy even though you continue to 595 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,840 Speaker 1: pray because you know that true satisfaction is in the Lord. 596 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 1: So here's my question. We know that this contentment and 597 00:34:55,440 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 1: this joy and this satisfaction comes from God right and 598 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:05,120 Speaker 1: we know that because of faith. Faith is what activates this. 599 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,960 Speaker 1: But my question to you is, Kayla, and I love you, 600 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,040 Speaker 1: thanks for the email. I got to say that, but 601 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 1: I want to give you some tough love. Did you 602 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,400 Speaker 1: know that faith is not a noun? You're you're sometimes 603 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,680 Speaker 1: replacing the idea of faith with grace. Grace is the 604 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,600 Speaker 1: unmerited gift to you from God. But faith is your part. 605 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,520 Speaker 1: That is an action. Faith is a verb. So I 606 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: would say, you know what they talk of faith in 607 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 1: terms of a walk, a walk of faith? How is 608 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:41,600 Speaker 1: your walk in faith? Meaning it's active, it's persistent, it's 609 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 1: step by step. So I would ask you, Kayla, what 610 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 1: are you doing in your walk of faith? Is what 611 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,719 Speaker 1: you're talking about? Just saying, God, help me find somebody 612 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,359 Speaker 1: I trust you? Hey, this, let me say it again. 613 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,440 Speaker 1: What I'm telling y'all, this goes to so many questions 614 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 1: that you'll ask. So many people ask me something along 615 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: the lines of I'm losing my faith, or I'm struggling 616 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 1: with my faith, or I'm trying to find my faith. 617 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,239 Speaker 1: Like it's gold in the ground and you're you got 618 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 1: to find this gold, right, and that's your gold and 619 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,279 Speaker 1: you put in your pocket. It's a noun. This is 620 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 1: not a nounan we're talking about. We're talking about an 621 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 1: active verb. So I would say, what are you doing? 622 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 1: Jesus says in Luke six, you say, Lord Lord, But 623 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,000 Speaker 1: why don't you do anything that I say? Right? So 624 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 1: what are you doing? What are you? Are you listening 625 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,799 Speaker 1: to him? Are you doing what he's saying. Are you 626 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,120 Speaker 1: going to your Bible and reading those red letter words 627 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:51,960 Speaker 1: and doing doing things? Are you studying your Bible? Are 628 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 1: you in a small group. Are you going to church 629 00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 1: every Sunday because your life depends on it. Are you 630 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 1: praying circles around problems in your life? Are you giving 631 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 1: it to God? Are you trusting him? Are you glorifying him? 632 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,480 Speaker 1: Are you actively representing him in the way that he 633 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,200 Speaker 1: deserves to be represented as the creator of the universe. 634 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:16,080 Speaker 1: What are you doing, Kayla? Are you just asking for 635 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,200 Speaker 1: things and hoping that the genie in the bottle is 636 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,200 Speaker 1: going to give it to you? Are you looking at 637 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,919 Speaker 1: the man upstairs like some people say, like the big 638 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,400 Speaker 1: old man with the white beard and the white cloak, 639 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,719 Speaker 1: and just hoping that the genie in the bottle, the 640 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 1: Santa Claus, is going to give you some presents. What 641 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:39,719 Speaker 1: are you doing? Are you waking up every morning with 642 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:43,360 Speaker 1: a fire under you, making that coffee, getting your Bible, 643 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,320 Speaker 1: open it up and saying, God, I'm about to open 644 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 1: the Word of God. I'm about to open this Bible. That, 645 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:52,319 Speaker 1: first of all, is a miracle that's even here through 646 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 1: all the trials and the wars and the tribulations that 647 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 1: this word made it through the word of God. I'm 648 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,040 Speaker 1: about to open it up. God opened my eyes to 649 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 1: this word so that I could learn more about you 650 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,040 Speaker 1: and your glory, so I could see you for what 651 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:12,720 Speaker 1: you are, the creator of everything, sovereign, God in control. 652 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 1: You're driving the ship, not me, So I'm gonna trust you. 653 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,440 Speaker 1: Open my eyes to these words. It's life to me. 654 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 1: These words are life. It's going to satisfy every hunger, 655 00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 1: every thirst with these words. Is that what you're doing? 656 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:35,360 Speaker 1: Is that what your faith is? Are you looking for 657 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,399 Speaker 1: the genie in the bottle to bring you a man 658 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 1: so that you could post on Instagram your ring with 659 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,719 Speaker 1: a champagne glass and the waiter in the background at 660 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:47,680 Speaker 1: the restaurant, which one are you? That's how you find contentment, 661 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 1: That's how you find joy and peace when you know 662 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 1: that you're not in control and that's okay. God is. 663 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,400 Speaker 1: And it's not just an understanding, it's an active path, 664 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:04,280 Speaker 1: a walk of faith that you are reading that word. 665 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:08,760 Speaker 1: You're joining sisters like you in small groups. You're sharing 666 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,920 Speaker 1: your testimony, You're going to church, you're taking notes on 667 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,279 Speaker 1: Sunday morning, going God feed me feed me through the 668 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,600 Speaker 1: words of this pastor as he's going to talk. I'm 669 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,840 Speaker 1: and listen for what you have to say through his 670 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,640 Speaker 1: mouth to me, and I'm gonna write it down because 671 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 1: my life depends on it. If you're doing those things, 672 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,359 Speaker 1: and then you look to your right and you see 673 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,560 Speaker 1: a guy sitting next to you at church down the 674 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,919 Speaker 1: aisle a little bit and he's doing the same thing, 675 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,040 Speaker 1: you might have just found somebody you need to start 676 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 1: talking to. There you go. Next question, ironically, subject line 677 00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 1: is the Lord? By the way, I'm not prepping these 678 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 1: questions at all. Is or just what's in my inbox? Okay, 679 00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,360 Speaker 1: says Hey Granger. Been listening to the podcast for a 680 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,879 Speaker 1: little while now while I'm mow and I love it. Hey, 681 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 1: I listened to podcasts while I'm mow too, buddy, Thank 682 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,640 Speaker 1: you for that. That's a good time to listen to podcasts. 683 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,920 Speaker 1: Is on a lawnmower, he says, I just have one question. 684 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,959 Speaker 1: I just joined my youth team at church a couple 685 00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,960 Speaker 1: of weeks ago, and I love the people I teach with, 686 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:19,279 Speaker 1: and I have such a good group of friends at church. 687 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,759 Speaker 1: How do I get closer to the Lord? Fisher from 688 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:28,400 Speaker 1: KYMP Texas Boom, back to back questions. There we go, Fisher, 689 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:32,920 Speaker 1: go back, listen to what I just said. You're on 690 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 1: a good path right now. You want to get closer 691 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,760 Speaker 1: to God. You want to get closer to the Lord. 692 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 1: You read his word. That's our instruction manual. It's like 693 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:46,279 Speaker 1: saying this. It's like saying, I just bought a new lawnmower. 694 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 1: We'll go with your same analogy. I just bought a 695 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,400 Speaker 1: new lawnmower and I ordered it online, and so it 696 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 1: came from hardware store. I'm not going to endorse anybody. 697 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 1: It came from the hardware store in a box. And 698 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,839 Speaker 1: open up the box and it's all these pieces. And 699 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,480 Speaker 1: it's like saying, looking at all those pieces out of 700 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:11,160 Speaker 1: the box and going, how do I figure out this lawnmower? 701 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,319 Speaker 1: And it only takes one person to go read the 702 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:21,480 Speaker 1: instruction manual. Oh yeah, oh yeah, read the instruction manual. 703 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:26,239 Speaker 1: It came with the box. So that's you. You're in 704 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,200 Speaker 1: the box and you got an instruction manual. It's called 705 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,960 Speaker 1: the Bible. So you want to get closer to the 706 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,320 Speaker 1: creator of you. You want to know what he needs 707 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:38,000 Speaker 1: from you. You want to know how to glorify him. 708 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,000 Speaker 1: You want to know how to grow your faith, read 709 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 1: the instruction manual, Read the Bible. We want to make 710 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,320 Speaker 1: it so hard. We want to make Santa Claus in 711 00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 1: the sky, we want to make the genie in the 712 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 1: bottle so bad, and we forget that we got the 713 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 1: word of God right here in front of us. Think 714 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:03,400 Speaker 1: about this, y'all. I'm a prac person. I'm just not 715 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,960 Speaker 1: a person that goes. I just believe. I just believe 716 00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:10,759 Speaker 1: in a fairy tale. I don't. I can't. Some people can, 717 00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:13,840 Speaker 1: God bless them. My mother is one of these people. 718 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,160 Speaker 1: I can't do that. I am a practical person. I 719 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:20,279 Speaker 1: love history. I have to go backwards. I have to 720 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,520 Speaker 1: calculate things. That's not all of my testimony, but I 721 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,799 Speaker 1: got to look at things from a practical standpoint. And 722 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,600 Speaker 1: I go back and I read these words, and I 723 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:34,560 Speaker 1: go this is talking about things, people and places, specific 724 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:40,359 Speaker 1: times that they happened in history with eyewitnesses, and all 725 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,799 Speaker 1: these people wrote the same story about the same thing, 726 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,239 Speaker 1: and they dispersed. And then we found fragments of those 727 00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,160 Speaker 1: people that wrote those things. We found fragments of them 728 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:53,520 Speaker 1: all over the world, and we put these little fragments 729 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,680 Speaker 1: together and astonishingly we find out that these fragments are 730 00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:01,399 Speaker 1: saying the same thing. Like you find this little piece 731 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:05,600 Speaker 1: of John over here, right this little piece of the 732 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 1: Gospel of John. And you find a little piece of 733 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:14,280 Speaker 1: John seventeen right down there in verse five, and you go, wow, 734 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:19,480 Speaker 1: we found the same fragment way over here, two thousand 735 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,640 Speaker 1: miles away, in the same time period. And guess what 736 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:27,719 Speaker 1: it says the same thing. It's not possible that that 737 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:33,279 Speaker 1: was recreated or some one person decided that this is 738 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:37,279 Speaker 1: what the Bible is gonna say. It would be impossible 739 00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:41,319 Speaker 1: to stop that kind of movement from happening unless it 740 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:46,120 Speaker 1: really happened, unless those people really saw what they said 741 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:49,440 Speaker 1: they saw. And if they saw what they said they saw, 742 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,480 Speaker 1: then we have to believe that it really happened. And 743 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,760 Speaker 1: if we believe that it really happened, we got to believe. 744 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: It's important to us, and it matters to us that 745 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:04,880 Speaker 1: this man, the son of God, claiming to be divine, 746 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,680 Speaker 1: living a sinless, perfect life, saying I'll forgive you if 747 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,560 Speaker 1: you believe in me, and he was killed in the 748 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 1: most gruesome death on the cross, a crucifixion, the most terrible, 749 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 1: horrific way to die in the history of evil. He 750 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,759 Speaker 1: was killed on a cross, and just like he predicted, 751 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,240 Speaker 1: and just like all the prophets thousands of years before 752 00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,200 Speaker 1: him predicted, he came back to life three days later, 753 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:38,719 Speaker 1: proving that everything he did and said was true. And 754 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:43,799 Speaker 1: people saw it. Over five hundred people saw this, and 755 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:47,120 Speaker 1: then they wrote it down, and then they were killed 756 00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 1: for it. Do you think they would have been killed 757 00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,279 Speaker 1: for it if it didn't happen, If it was a 758 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:54,319 Speaker 1: lie and you're getting tortured and people are ripping your 759 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,600 Speaker 1: limbs off and cutting your head off and dragging you 760 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,719 Speaker 1: through the streets behind a horse until your skin falls off, 761 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,880 Speaker 1: do you think one of them probably would have said, okay, okay, 762 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,360 Speaker 1: stop please, it was made up. It's not true. But 763 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 1: they didn't. They went along with their own deaths because 764 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,480 Speaker 1: they knew that something more important mattered than their own death. 765 00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:20,520 Speaker 1: They knew that death was already defeated and that their 766 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:24,560 Speaker 1: life was just beginning after death. They died for this. 767 00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,279 Speaker 1: We have to think about this practically. We have to 768 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,359 Speaker 1: look at all these martyrs. We have to look at 769 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,560 Speaker 1: the story historically. This isn't one person under a tree 770 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:38,200 Speaker 1: having a dream and writing a book. That's what other 771 00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:42,320 Speaker 1: religions will do. This isn't a talking head that just 772 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,520 Speaker 1: says do this, do this, do that, follow these rules 773 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,080 Speaker 1: to be closer to God. It's not what the Bible does, 774 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,799 Speaker 1: it's not what it says. We have to look at 775 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,520 Speaker 1: it practically, at least at least me. I'm speaking just 776 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,279 Speaker 1: for me here. I'm not trying to preach to y'all. 777 00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:01,319 Speaker 1: I'm just speaking from my brain saying practically, I look 778 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:05,640 Speaker 1: at this and I go, wow, that should matter. Those 779 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,880 Speaker 1: people are either crazy or lying or telling the truth. 780 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,080 Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure if they were crazy or lying, 781 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,520 Speaker 1: they wouldn't have been killed for it. First of all, 782 00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,960 Speaker 1: all those people couldn't have been crazy. It's too many 783 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,120 Speaker 1: of them. And if they were lying, I don't think 784 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,560 Speaker 1: they would have gone along with their own beheading. I 785 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,440 Speaker 1: think right there, when that act starts coming down on 786 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:28,200 Speaker 1: their head, they would have said, well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, 787 00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,239 Speaker 1: because all they had to do during these times, all 788 00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,759 Speaker 1: they had to do was tell them it was a lie. 789 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,040 Speaker 1: But they didn't. They took it. They took the pain, 790 00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:41,560 Speaker 1: they took the death. Some of them were put on 791 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:46,720 Speaker 1: crosses just like their lord so if all that happened, 792 00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:51,520 Speaker 1: then you got to think maybe it was true. And y'all, 793 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:56,400 Speaker 1: if maybe it was true, that changes everything for me. 794 00:46:56,440 --> 00:47:00,680 Speaker 1: And you think about that, if maybe it would true, 795 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,600 Speaker 1: If you hold that Bible and think maybe this is true, 796 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:11,399 Speaker 1: that changes everything for you and me. So if you're 797 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,560 Speaker 1: asking me, Fisher, how to get closer to the Lord, 798 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,400 Speaker 1: I would read that instruction manual that came in the 799 00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:23,480 Speaker 1: box your box you, I would read it like my 800 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:30,319 Speaker 1: life depends on it. Look at it this way. If 801 00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:34,080 Speaker 1: you're an atheist or an agnostic and you're not a Christian, 802 00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:38,919 Speaker 1: wouldn't you let me suggest wouldn't you want to read 803 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:44,160 Speaker 1: the whole Bible just for an experiment because it has 804 00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:50,719 Speaker 1: impacted humanity more than any other book ever ever, And 805 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,160 Speaker 1: it starts the story in the beginning of the book, 806 00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,880 Speaker 1: all the way back at the beginning of man. And 807 00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:00,560 Speaker 1: these stories have been repeated and they've impact culture for 808 00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:04,000 Speaker 1: thousands of years. Don't you think as an atheist, hey, 809 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:08,160 Speaker 1: it's a good experiment just to read this book just 810 00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:11,680 Speaker 1: because of the fact that it's impacted culture for so long, 811 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,280 Speaker 1: I might as well read it. You read everything else, 812 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,160 Speaker 1: and then at that point you read it. If you 813 00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:24,400 Speaker 1: don't believe it, that's on you. And I'm not going 814 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,520 Speaker 1: to plead with you on that. I'm just saying for me, 815 00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 1: my personal thought is practically speaking, I can't see us 816 00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:37,520 Speaker 1: coming from Amiba's and then becoming growing legs and walking 817 00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:41,120 Speaker 1: on land, and then thousands of years later we became monkeys, 818 00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:45,680 Speaker 1: and thousands or millions of years later we became humans, 819 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,480 Speaker 1: different than every other species on this planet. When the 820 00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,960 Speaker 1: Bible says that we are image bearers of God, made 821 00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,000 Speaker 1: in His image, that's why we're different. That's why we 822 00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,759 Speaker 1: think like we do, That's why we're problem solved. That's 823 00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,719 Speaker 1: why we create like our creator created us. We constantly 824 00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:07,520 Speaker 1: want to create art and music and buildings and jobs 825 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:13,719 Speaker 1: and new ideas, new technologies. A monkey doesn't come up 826 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:19,200 Speaker 1: with new technologies or buildings or architecture music, but we 827 00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:22,799 Speaker 1: do because we're image of areas of God according to 828 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:27,880 Speaker 1: our instruction manual. That was a long way of answering 829 00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:32,880 Speaker 1: your question, Fisher, But I hope that that helps you 830 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,080 Speaker 1: get up in the morning, before you start anything in 831 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:38,000 Speaker 1: your day, pull out that Bible and start reading it 832 00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,440 Speaker 1: and then look at it like it's your instruction manual 833 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 1: and then look at it like your life depends on it, 834 00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,520 Speaker 1: and you're going to see those words a little bit differently. 835 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:53,600 Speaker 1: There's enough translations out there, good translations that came from 836 00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:58,080 Speaker 1: teams of scholars that put these together, that translated that 837 00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:01,360 Speaker 1: Greek and Hebrew, which, by the way, is not like 838 00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:04,040 Speaker 1: a game of telephone. It's not like someone said one 839 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,200 Speaker 1: thing and one hundred years later they repeated it and 840 00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,200 Speaker 1: it changed a little bit, and one hundred years later 841 00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,839 Speaker 1: they said it again and changed a little bit. We 842 00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:16,160 Speaker 1: have access to the ancient Greek and Hebrew writings, so 843 00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,000 Speaker 1: we could take what we have now in the translation today, 844 00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,640 Speaker 1: and if you want, you could take your phone out 845 00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:25,200 Speaker 1: and put a translator on it on an app and 846 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,360 Speaker 1: type in the words and you could translate it yourself. 847 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,120 Speaker 1: So you don't have to rely on a translation. You 848 00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:32,640 Speaker 1: could translate it yourself today. It's a crazy time we 849 00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:36,759 Speaker 1: live in with these phones, but you can. I'm just 850 00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,960 Speaker 1: saying you can trust the translation, and you could find 851 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:42,799 Speaker 1: one that speaks your dialect. That's the beauty in it. 852 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,919 Speaker 1: You don't have to learn Latin anymore just to read 853 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,920 Speaker 1: the Bible. You don't have to speak Greek or Hebrew, 854 00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:57,600 Speaker 1: you could speak your native tongue. I appreciate y'all. Thanks 855 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,719 Speaker 1: for listening. We'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining 856 00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:03,160 Speaker 1: me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. 857 00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:06,120 Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. 858 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,480 Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that 859 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:12,600 Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you 860 00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:16,319 Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have 861 00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:18,440 Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer, 862 00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:23,760 Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yigi