1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,000 Speaker 1: You're Addy Scotty. 2 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm in a great mood today. 3 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: No perfect well. One hundred year old tortoise sex god 4 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: retires after making eight hundred species saving babies. 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's hot. And that is bananas. 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: Ah I says, still world up his head? 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 3: Would you believed your mindsillion pieces? 8 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 2: Would you believe. 9 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 4: Bananas? Baby banana? Banana? Bananas baby banana. 10 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: Ba Ladies, Welcome to the Bananas. I'm your host, Kurt 11 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: Brown Older. 12 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 2: And I'm the other one, Scotti landis Kurt. How is 13 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 2: your week? 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: How you feeling I'm feeling good, I'm feeling I'm feeling positive, 15 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: I'm feeling excited. In case you guys it's your first 16 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: time listening, this is a podcast all about strange news, 17 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: fascinating absurdity of our world. And we have a fantastic 18 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: guest to bring on. I'm so excited about her. You 19 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: might have seen her on Carol's Second Act, which I 20 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: wanted to call like Mustard's Last Stand, but it's definitely 21 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 1: Carol's Second Act. She's got a Netflix fifteen minute you 22 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: can check out. Also her podcast, Goodie Goodie Please Welcome 23 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: to the show. One of the funniest and most enjoyable 24 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: people to be around in comedy. Sabrina jay Ley's Oh. 25 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 3: My gosh, I didn't know you were going to do 26 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 3: a sincere thing at the end. I love that. Thank 27 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 3: you so much. It's so you know, I feel strasstruck. 28 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 3: I love bananas. I love you guys. The fact that 29 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 3: you've come together for a potassium filled podcast. I'm honored 30 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 3: to be a part of it. A really quick pop 31 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 3: quiz just to see who I'm dealing with. The letter 32 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 3: for the element potassium is Katy Okay, Scott. He's the 33 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 3: smart one, Good's the dumb dumb. 34 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: I will take it. 35 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 2: What's sad is Kurt is definitely smarter than me. So 36 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 2: we're all terrible start but potassium. 37 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 1: Don't cry. 38 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 3: Tears were streaming down. 39 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,359 Speaker 1: His cheek as he said that it was embarrassing. It's 40 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: weird that normally, if we were doing this over the phone, 41 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:21,119 Speaker 1: we wouldn't have seen that. But himself, are you guys 42 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 1: ready to hear about this? This story? 43 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 2: Tortoise as well. 44 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: His name's Diego, guys, and there is there is definitely 45 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: a video of him having sex that I did not 46 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: see until I just rolled down to open this up. 47 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: I don't know why they had to include that. This 48 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: is from the Diffington Post. This was sent to us 49 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: by a listener, Ella Madison, Ella, thank you for sending 50 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,519 Speaker 1: this in. This is a hundred year old galopigs. Galopagos 51 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: giant tortoise is retiring after helping to save his endangered 52 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 1: species by siring some eight hundred babies. 53 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 3: So siring me doing so much. Fuck. Siring is like 54 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 3: daddy ing. 55 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, dwinkink he doinked eight hundred babies. I mean he 56 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: didn't drink the babies. Yeah, he doink the mommies and 57 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: made the babies. 58 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 3: I just like the term siring. I think that's something 59 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,799 Speaker 3: we should take and take it from turtles. Let's appropriate 60 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 3: the turtle siring into fucking. 61 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 1: I think humans can sire too. 62 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, you should sire that. Ho, that's not how I 63 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 3: talk about women. I'm talking about a man in that. 64 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 3: Just so you know, Yeah, of course, of course you 65 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 3: are siring. 66 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: So just so you guys know, he was in captivity 67 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: during all of this, so he still was having sex 68 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: in captivity. He was one of two male children. They 69 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: keep referring to it by the Latin name child hood. 70 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 3: That's racist, Kurt, I can't say that I. 71 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: Did something horrible. 72 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 3: Wait, how many syllables? Chi lahoydness right of orsis. 73 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's two words, chilanoidous hood hood insists that's what 74 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: it's like, hood hood and sis And. 75 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 3: What is the story, Just that this turtle is fucking 76 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 3: a lot and that the turtles put out a press 77 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 3: release being like I'd like everyone to know it's been 78 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 3: one hundred years. 79 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 1: I'm not fucking blowing down. 80 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 2: Well, he retired, I mean, wouldn't you especially eighty plus kids? 81 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 2: Oh my, you guys are both parents during this. You 82 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 2: know how exhausting it is to have a kid. It's 83 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 2: like our two. 84 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,600 Speaker 1: Kids one hundred, not eighty eight hundred. 85 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 2: Babies, and they're slow. 86 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: They're so slow. That's what's amazing too. 87 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 3: I'm sure you's that also playing a big part in parenting, 88 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 3: chasing affort after these eight hundred babies. You know, when 89 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 3: you look at the Animal Kingdom, will you read any 90 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 3: facts about animals or stick around long enough in a documentary? 91 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,720 Speaker 3: You just realize, like, this is a planet built on. 92 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 2: Rip and I know, yeah, I those I don't know. 93 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 3: I don't know if this is a children's podcast, Okay, Okay, 94 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 3: so it's just shocking that. Yeah, it's shocking that that's 95 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 3: what's happening constantly every you know, every animal study of 96 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 3: any animal ends with just like, you know, a squirrel 97 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 3: just trying to get up a fucking tree without another 98 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 3: squirrel fucking her. 99 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 1: It really is. And I think the duck is We've 100 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: talked about the duck on this program multiple times, but 101 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: the fact that the duck has a corkscrew shaped penis, 102 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 1: so it makes every every time they have sex is 103 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: like much more like rape than seemingly any other animal does. 104 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 3: You have to spin around again, but it does make 105 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 3: me think, like the turtle sex must be a little 106 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,719 Speaker 3: bit more consensual because it's so slow moving that it's 107 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 3: like it's really turtles are the only species where you'd 108 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 3: be like, girl, you wanted it, yeah, like it's so slow. 109 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 3: Although actually if it's slow to slow, can still be fast. 110 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 2: That's right for them. 111 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 1: I mean they live. He at one hundred years old, 112 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: he's retiring and he's still gonna live for up to 113 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: thirty years and he could continue to have sex. So 114 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: when they say he's retiring, it means he's get he's 115 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,679 Speaker 1: he gets to go back to the glopgo silence. 116 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 3: How happy are all those female turtles? Just like, Ugh, 117 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 3: Diego's fucking out of there, just nasty to be like, well, daughter, 118 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 3: it's you're you're eight years old. Time to reproduce, Diego, Diego, 119 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 3: You're just like, awe, hundred year old man. 120 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 2: Sure it goes the other way. It sounds like there's 121 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 2: a lot of female tortoises or whatever it is, tortai. 122 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 2: So it feels like, I know it like it's tarts, 123 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:48,839 Speaker 2: it's in torts. I know, like in nursing homes, it's 124 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 2: like such a ratio of women to men that it's 125 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 2: like if you're like an old guy in a nursing home, 126 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 2: you're like a stud. And so makes Diego's always. 127 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 3: So shocking to me, shocking to me how much time 128 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 3: Scottie spends the nursing homes. 129 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's coming back with new facts to date the 130 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: pools claim and this is so he So here's also 131 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: the deal. So you guys know, so eight hundred sired 132 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: babies is forty percent of the total. The other turtle 133 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: is responsible for the other sixty percent. So there is 134 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: just two male and then there's a third turtle. Third 135 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: male turtle who has done zero. 136 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 2: Yeap, he might not be I hate to say. 137 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 3: I hate to say it, but he's a homosexual. 138 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: There is that, but this is actually. 139 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 3: A really good this, this, this whole. That's why. This 140 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 3: is why people This is why what's it called homophobia? 141 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 3: That's what it is. This is why homophobia exists because 142 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 3: if you imagine us as turtles when we were just 143 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 3: like endangered and like trying to get the come up 144 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 3: after the dinosaurs got extinct, and it's like, yes, let's 145 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 3: do this, let's do that's obviously why people were like, 146 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 3: don't fuck the same gender. I know you're attracted to them, 147 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 3: don't do it. It's illegal because we need babies. Everybody 148 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,119 Speaker 3: knows that. And I just want to make it clear 149 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 3: to all the bananas listeners. 150 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: We still haven't decided what their names yet, so if 151 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: you have an idea, please let us know. 152 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 3: Yea, bananagrams, bananagrams, banana grams, yeah. 153 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 2: Somebody, bandwagon I would been I've been pitched the bandwagon. 154 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 2: I was. I'm a fan of split heads, but that, 155 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 2: you know, maybe a little negative. 156 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: And then there's always primates because monkeys love bananas. But 157 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: I don't think anybody likes primates. 158 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 3: The peel heads, the peelers. 159 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: I like the peel heads. 160 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll peel sessions. This is kind of cool. 161 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: Healers. 162 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 3: Just to go back to the word sire that I 163 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 3: can't get off of, I kind of I think I 164 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 3: like the word sire too. Like I made our wolfy. 165 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 3: I made Wolfy. I sired him. But I didn't have 166 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,800 Speaker 3: the sperm, but I sired him. Is like a good 167 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 3: way of like I chose the donor, I tossed the 168 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 3: sperman to my wife. I sired I sired my son. 169 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 2: You honestly, maybe if you feel comfortable, this is sort 170 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 2: of a banana story. I mean, yeah, yeah, I sire 171 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 2: your child. 172 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 4: All right. 173 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 3: Let me pull up the story from my biography, which 174 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 3: is in the works right Wikipedia youller, No, no, no, no, 175 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 3: I'm just pulling it up. 176 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 4: You know. 177 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 3: That's what I'm always working on, is just writing out 178 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 3: my bio. Let me just control f jizz I met. 179 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 3: I met a donor. He was my surf instructor in Mexico, 180 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,439 Speaker 3: and I was like, he was beautiful, and I said, oh, 181 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 3: his skin was like mine. His face was gorgeous like mine, 182 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 3: gorgeous as deep deep soul eyes. Yes, And basically I 183 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 3: asked him to be our donor. And then we did 184 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 3: it all we'd like flew back to Mexico on a 185 00:09:58,679 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 3: business trip. 186 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 2: Boom, how she. 187 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 3: And and he came into a cup I put how 188 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 3: did she do it? Came into a cup? He did 189 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 3: left the rbnb. I put it in a syringe, put 190 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 3: it in my armpit to keep it warm. 191 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: Ladies like warm, like a turkey syringe. Well like turkey 192 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: turkey baster. 193 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 3: You know what turkey baster is where I think I 194 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 3: got the wrong idea of how much giz comes out 195 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 3: of it because a turkey baster it's like big. But no, 196 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 3: it would all go down to the bulb. And so 197 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 3: I put so little little syringe needle without a needle 198 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 3: in the armpit. Made Shanna come real big, big, huge, huge, 199 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 3: big orgasm ah. And then put then put the jig's. 200 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 3: I sired sired the ji's into her body. And that 201 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,679 Speaker 3: was the day, the first time we did it, that 202 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 3: was the day we. 203 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 2: Took a baby. 204 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 3: It took baby. 205 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: It's a miracle story. I love that story so much. 206 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: It makes me so happy. 207 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 3: I love it too. 208 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: Just did it, you guys, just did. 209 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 3: It we had, we started from the bottom. Now we're here. 210 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 2: And he he's a beautiful boy. It didn't even come 211 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 2: out with little syringey arms. He's just he's a perfect 212 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 2: little boy. 213 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 3: But to make him p we do have to push 214 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 3: down his top button. 215 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 2: Fine, me too, Me too. 216 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,839 Speaker 1: I've seen I've seen him do it. 217 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I stopped wearing a beret for that. 218 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 3: But I think siring like it's a good that's it. 219 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: It's a perfect turn. 220 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 3: It's a perfect term for that. For being the producer. 221 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. 222 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 1: Well, you know you only have to do it eight 223 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:33,319 Speaker 1: hundred more, seven and ninety nine more times to compete, 224 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: and I will just so you guys know, I'm gonna 225 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: post it on the Instagram. Diego's neck. I never knew 226 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: this about Galapko's turtles, but like the head and neck 227 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: of this turtle looks like a giant dick. So it 228 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: is not surprising, like in a real way, like very upsetingly. 229 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,199 Speaker 3: Real, because it comes out the same way and. 230 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 1: Kind of like it's a little it looks like a 231 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: curved penis head, don't you think, with like a ballsack 232 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 1: at the bottom where his neck is it. It's very 233 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: upsetting and I apologize to any wanted who's listing. 234 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 3: Whichever lord made us. It's really I feel like it 235 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 3: we like all boiled down to like five key shapes. 236 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,200 Speaker 1: Yes, oh, ae hundred percent I agree. There's like a 237 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: pear shape, there's a round shape, there's a there's a 238 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 1: stick shape, and. 239 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 3: Then there's the princes. There's like the different prints. Like 240 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 3: if you look at like an amazing looking fish, it's like, oh, 241 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 3: it's a leopard. It's like there's only a certain amount 242 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 3: of printer inc and templates. 243 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. And when you look at an ostriche like an 244 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: ostrich is like a chicken cross with a giraffe. It's like, yeah, 245 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: you got both of you put them together. 246 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, and a zebras four dicks with uh stripees. 247 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 2: Yep, it's exactly right, right suggest. 248 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 1: So you know, to finish this story off, please, What 249 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: happened was he was in the San Diego Zoo for 250 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: thirty years doing all this boning, and now he gets 251 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: to go back to the Galopagos and they say his career, fucking, 252 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 1: his fucking career is not over. No, you might have 253 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: a good twenty more years left him to bone on 254 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: the island in nature. Give it up for Diego. 255 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 2: All right, Diego shout. 256 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,199 Speaker 3: Out to like whoever is tracking this, and I wonder 257 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,840 Speaker 3: how much sex they're having, you know, yes, the person 258 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 3: that's tracking how much fucking Diego is doing? And just 259 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 3: you know on match dot Com being. 260 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 2: Like, oh and how disappointed he is? 261 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: Scott to give me one? 262 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 2: Okay, I got one? Uh headline police called after Oklahoma 263 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 2: neighbors battle with feces, guns and a room but vacuum cleaner. Man, 264 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 2: this is a good one. So this is from our 265 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 2: dude k Thor Jensen at Newsweek, And I really got 266 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 2: to give a shout a shout out to k Thor 267 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 2: Jensen because I think this is going to be a name. 268 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 2: We hear a lot on this pocket he reports, she 269 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 2: reports maybe the k is so I don't know. I'm 270 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 2: guessing it's a man reports on some choice banana stories. 271 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 1: So can I pause you right there? 272 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:01,839 Speaker 2: You care? 273 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: Just to mention that the story about the one hundred 274 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: year old tortoise was in the Huffington Post by Ed Maza. 275 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: I forgot to give credit earlier, and credit reminded me. 276 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: Good pause. 277 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 3: Can I pause both of you very quickly? And just 278 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 3: can you imagine a world where ed Maza or Cynthia 279 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 3: whoever's actually getting the data on the turtles meets k 280 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 3: Thor Jensen and let's just imagine that, and you know, 281 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 3: obviously fucking sex. It's like it's it's like it's like immediate. 282 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: Chemistry, like the same type of reporting. It's a sparkle 283 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 1: in their eyes. They can't deny it. 284 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 2: You know, Polyamory Rocks. I have a story about that 285 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: for later too. Okay, So police called after Oklahoma neighbors 286 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 2: battle with feces, guns and a rumba vacuum cleaner. So 287 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 2: there was this dispute between two neighbors that escalated to 288 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 2: the point where one of them tried to smash down 289 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 2: the fence separating their property with a robot vacuum cleaner. Uh. 290 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 2: Stafford was taken into custody after a twelve hour standoff 291 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 2: with neighbor David Baird that ended up with police using 292 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 2: teargas to force Stafford from his home. So, according to Baird, 293 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 2: Stafford became upset with him for an unknown reason and 294 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: began attacking their shared fence with a room of vacuum 295 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 2: in an attempt to bring it down. Well, I don't know, certainly, 296 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 2: there has to be something better around your house to 297 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 2: start smashing. 298 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 3: That fence, and those are expensive, they're spen shit. 299 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 1: And it's also like a just a disc. I can't 300 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 1: even see why smashing with it would be the thing 301 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: you I can see. I'm here, I can see a 302 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: hundred things just about my garage that are better for smashing. 303 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 2: Listen the best one. I mean, even your surfboard would 304 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 2: be incredible. 305 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 1: My skateboard, yeah, my surfboard. 306 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 3: This even your hand seems like a better tool and. 307 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 1: Seems like a better tool. 308 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. This. So anyways, Stafford go a n ape shit 309 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 2: with the room bow on a fence. I mean, it's 310 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 2: so good. Baird goes inside his house, grabs a handgun 311 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 2: and tried to use it to dissuade his neighbor from 312 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 2: doing any more damage. Classic America, Classic Oklahoma. Baird told 313 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 2: the news station, I told him, if you break through 314 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 2: the fence, I'm going to shoot you. He made his 315 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 2: wife and kids stay inside as Stafford began throwing dog 316 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,600 Speaker 2: excrement in their yard from his driveway. 317 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: Hey wait, I like that, honey, keep the kids inside. 318 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: I'm going to shoot our neighbor. 319 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 2: Also, it's like a battering ram and a like a 320 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 2: Lord of the Rings movie where he's like, it's not 321 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 2: going to be the whole thing falls down. He had 322 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 2: to slowly watch this guy chip away and I'm assuming 323 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 2: a shitty aluminum fence. Yeah. So Baird and his other 324 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 2: neighbors are videotaped the incident. I haven't found the tape yet, 325 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 2: but are the video yet, but I'll put it up 326 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 2: and police eventually send a SWAT team to the neighborhood, 327 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 2: complete with a bomb squad with an explosive retrieval robot. 328 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 2: Stafford eventually went inside his house and called nine one one. 329 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 2: He ends up calling nine one one five times. So 330 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 2: this is the guy attacking the fence, Stafford, so he can. 331 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 2: When he contacted the dispatcher, Stafford told them that he 332 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 2: quote wanted to report a douchebag and then. 333 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 3: And they send a tim. 334 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 2: Yeah exactlys Stafford told them, yes, I want I wanted 335 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,360 Speaker 2: to report a douchebag, and then spelled the word out 336 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,120 Speaker 2: when asked to speak like an adult. I love this guy. 337 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 1: He then also told douchebag's tough to spell. 338 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 2: I know of the moment it asked me to spell 339 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 2: anything in the heat of the moment, I'm just gonna 340 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 2: grunt and scream and faint. 341 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,439 Speaker 3: So you guys, are you guys seem to be like 342 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 3: on this room by hitting man's side. 343 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 2: So far, no, so far, No, No, I'm not. I 344 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 2: don't like violence at all. And I think, though, there's 345 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,160 Speaker 2: nothing worse than a bad neighbor, and there's nothing better 346 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 2: than a great neighbor. 347 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: So you sign them on. I'm on the dog shit side. 348 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 1: That dog shit got a ride of its life back. 349 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 1: I thought it was all used up and done for 350 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 1: the day trying. 351 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 2: So yeah, he spells out douchebag when asked to speak 352 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 2: like an adult, and then he also told the dispatcher he 353 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 2: was going to quote run you guys into the ground. 354 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 2: So there's this long standoff. They shoot tear gas canisters 355 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 2: into his house. They finally ned he's getting process. He 356 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 2: has an upcoming trial. But this is a little This 357 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 2: is why Kathor Jensen at Newsweek just shoes the extra 358 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 2: mile for us at the end of this article. This 359 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,679 Speaker 2: is These are the last two paragraphs. He just doubles 360 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 2: up on the on the bananas. Robotic vacuums have been 361 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,920 Speaker 2: implicated in unexplained violence before. In twenty fifteen, The Daily 362 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,359 Speaker 2: Dot reported a fifty two year old South Korean woman 363 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 2: was asleep on the floor, which she woke up to 364 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 2: discover that her automated cleaner had made its way over 365 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 2: her head and began sucking in her hair. She was, oh, fuck, yeah, 366 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 2: I know. She was unable to extricate herself from the robot, 367 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 2: so she called the fire department. They came to her 368 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 2: home and mana should get her hair untangled without any 369 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 2: further damage to her or horror. 370 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 1: Imagine that for a hot second, where you're like, all right, 371 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 1: time to take my nap on the floor, my robot 372 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: vacuum cleaner and that doesn't take an half. 373 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 3: They do have a mind of their own. I do 374 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 3: believe she probably didn't start it up, but yeah, it's 375 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 3: because they're fucking nuts. My son actually, when he was little, 376 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 3: we have a roombut. Not to show off. He when 377 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 3: he was like, I saw the room, but come around 378 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 3: the corner he was on it. I mean obviously he 379 00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:01,159 Speaker 3: pressed the button. He wasn't really riding on it was 380 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 3: really riding. It's really cute, but yeah, what a nightmare 381 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 3: your hairy getting sucked in by the roomba. 382 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 2: You don't want this lady. 383 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 3: Is the hardest sleeper so far of all these bananas stories. 384 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely like ran up and bumped her head 385 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 1: up a couple of times, super fucking loud. Yeah, I 386 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,879 Speaker 1: think maybe she passed out. I think that sounds like 387 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: more of a pass out kind of situation. 388 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 2: I do like to imagine like it's just going around 389 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,919 Speaker 2: her body repeated amount of times, like going up between 390 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 2: her legs, stopping turning one degrees, is going back under, 391 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 2: and then eventually it's like, you know what, fu shit. 392 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,919 Speaker 2: But that would be terrifying to wake up to that, 393 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,719 Speaker 2: and uh, terrifying to have your neighbor. I mean, if 394 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 2: you looked outside and saw a grown man holding a 395 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 2: rumba I'm assuming over his head, both hands right or 396 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,360 Speaker 2: discus maybe he's spinning and just giving it the full. 397 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 1: Neighbors are terrifying. 398 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,199 Speaker 3: Neighbors are terrifying. And when I first moved into the 399 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 3: house that we lived in now, there was a neighbor 400 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 3: next door to us that was literally like out of 401 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 3: a sketch comedy nightmare book of like who you don't 402 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 3: want next to you? Like it was the minute like 403 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 3: we'd finished renovations and Shana was like about to give birth, 404 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 3: and I was like, this is our sanctuary. And I 405 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 3: stepped out onto the deck off of our bedroom and 406 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,120 Speaker 3: I hear out of my left ear this squawking kind of. 407 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 2: Like hey han okay. 408 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 3: And that was the beginning of her whose name I 409 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 3: will not speak, Yeah, but she she in the like 410 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 3: one month that we crossed over, she asked to borrow 411 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 3: twenty dollars. She asked to borrow my phone. She asked 412 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 3: me if I had any booze in the house. And 413 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,439 Speaker 3: it's like I can't get away from you. And the 414 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 3: whole dance with these people is that you have to 415 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 3: be like, I'm your friend. I know the world's got 416 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 3: you down, but I'm your friend. I just have some 417 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 3: boundaries and I'm hoping to keep up there they go, okay, 418 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 3: well there's my phone, and there goes my phone. 419 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 2: And those people are everywhere. The the person you just described, 420 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 2: every city, every town, doesn't matter how big or small. 421 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 2: That is a type and there everywhere, and it's just 422 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 2: like you just avoid him. And then when you move 423 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 2: to a place like I'm glad it was only a 424 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,679 Speaker 2: month overlap for you. But it's like when you don't 425 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 2: have that you almost your neighbors become almost saintly friends 426 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 2: so fast. We're like, can you watch your mail while 427 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 2: we're at the beach. You're like absolutely, I'll do anything, 428 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,400 Speaker 2: just don't move. Yes, I need you to stay crazy. 429 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, No, We're so lucky. Because she was. She 430 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,479 Speaker 3: was also like, you know, a week or two into this, 431 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 3: it was the best. I think. I believe that Wolfie, 432 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 3: our son, is like magic, and he needed to he 433 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 3: like cleansed the energy of her before he came out, 434 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 3: because she moved like literally right after he was born 435 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:38,199 Speaker 3: or right before he was born. But she, uh, she 436 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 3: was get The day she told me that she was 437 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 3: getting kicked out, she was like, can you can you 438 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 3: believe they're trying to get me out of here? They 439 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,160 Speaker 3: will not they will not get me out of here. 440 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 3: And I was like, I don't get. 441 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:49,440 Speaker 2: It wrong. 442 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 1: To be like I'm on your side. 443 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 3: There should almost be like an agency or something that 444 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,840 Speaker 3: vets like because buying a house it's a huge, you 445 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 3: know know, investment. Would you not pay like a couple 446 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 3: thousand dollars to have someone like give you information about 447 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 3: who's next door? Have like some some like secretly recorded 448 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 3: conversations secretly recording. 449 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:17,880 Speaker 1: I like how you jump immediately to is that illegal? 450 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,360 Speaker 1: It's not like a photograph of the house, but it's 451 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 1: an illegal recorded conversation. 452 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 3: Just like get you can tell you could tell by 453 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,720 Speaker 3: like a sample of a three minute conversation whether you 454 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 3: whether the person's fucking. 455 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,879 Speaker 1: Nuts a private dick you talk, you get some private 456 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: dick action up in there. 457 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 2: Right, this neighborhood consensus on like a rental or like 458 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,880 Speaker 2: a homeowner app where it was like, I mean, honestly, 459 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 2: this does exist. Next Door exists. Next Door is the 460 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 2: worst thing I've ever downloaded in my life. And I 461 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 2: realized that I do pop it up in every night, 462 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 2: every day. 463 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,879 Speaker 1: It's the funniest thing, how fascinating. 464 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,640 Speaker 2: It's like the onion. It's the greatest thing ever. Sometimes 465 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 2: I'll just do full screen grabs because it'll be fifteen 466 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,200 Speaker 2: of my immediate neighbors who live in walking distant of 467 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 2: my house. The craziest shit I can ever. One day, Kurt, 468 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,880 Speaker 2: we should do a Banana's episode where we reach door. 469 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 3: My most Bananas next Door plot line that I'm following 470 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,360 Speaker 3: is a lady that clearly gave, clearly gave. Yeah, I'll 471 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 3: come back for next door. She gave away her dog. 472 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 3: She even states it in her first posting about this, 473 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,360 Speaker 3: But then she's mad at the woman who took her 474 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 3: dog and she wants the dog to be in a 475 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:28,200 Speaker 3: fucking shelter. So she's like posting pictures of the sweet 476 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 3: lady that adopted her dog, and she's like, now I 477 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,680 Speaker 3: can't find the lady she moved and my dog, it's 478 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 3: my I should decide where she goes. 479 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,199 Speaker 2: I'm happy for that dog. Kurt, you want to take 480 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 2: a quick break. 481 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's take a break. 482 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:44,360 Speaker 3: I refuse. 483 00:24:45,160 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 2: We'll be right back with a little more bananas. 484 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: And we're back. Are you guys ready for another story? 485 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 3: I'm I'm saying I need another story. I'm saying I'm 486 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 3: craving another story. 487 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:30,400 Speaker 1: Hell yeah. This is a story that was brought to 488 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 1: us by the wonderful and the fantastic Libby Freeman. Thank 489 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:35,440 Speaker 1: you for sending it in. 490 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 3: This podcast is going to be like the Talk of 491 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,640 Speaker 3: Town for like small time news. 492 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,359 Speaker 2: Replaces, please have you. 493 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,959 Speaker 1: This is from C n N of Course by alas 494 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: Are our favorite. This is the title. Here is a 495 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,119 Speaker 1: man who wore a watermelon on his head while stealing 496 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 1: it from a convenience store has been arrested. 497 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 3: I like it going great. 498 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 1: And what's interesting is that so one of them has 499 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: been arrested. But in the photo there's two of them, 500 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: and it is just a really well done It's a 501 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 1: big watermelon, obviously big enough to fit your head, okay, 502 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 1: and it really does kind of come down all the 503 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: way over his head and just two just two eye holes, 504 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,119 Speaker 1: no hole for the mouth. Okay, And CNN says a 505 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: pair of melon heads, yes, actual people with watermelons on 506 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,480 Speaker 1: their heads, caused quite a stir after they used watermelons 507 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: as face masks to allegedly steal from a convenience store 508 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 1: in a small Virginia town. Thank you, Virginia. Yes, here's 509 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: some details and a question. The duo pulled up in 510 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: a lifted two thousand and six black Toyota Tacoma pickup 511 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:02,639 Speaker 1: truck and entered a sheet store in Louisa on May fifth, 512 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 1: while wearing carved out water melons with holes cut out 513 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,639 Speaker 1: for their eyes. Depart sheets. Yeah, have you ever been 514 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 1: to a sheets like? 515 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 2: That's like a cha gas station. 516 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:19,920 Speaker 1: Okay, like places no sheets, It's like almost like shits 517 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:23,400 Speaker 1: shots with a Z and it is ghost. You've never 518 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 1: been your sheets? Oh my god, it is. See. I 519 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,439 Speaker 1: grew up in New Jersey. We had wah wah, and 520 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,239 Speaker 1: it is the closest I can find outside of like 521 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,119 Speaker 1: the the Tri State area that is a wa wa. 522 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: It's essentially like a gas station and also a sandwich 523 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:42,679 Speaker 1: shop and also like a social center and also a 524 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,199 Speaker 1: grocery store. It is like a huge gas station and 525 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: it's really wonderful. They got great sandwiches. 526 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 2: And they spell almost everything Sheets is s h E 527 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,679 Speaker 2: E t Z and they end everything with a z. 528 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 2: They lean into the sheets, So I reject them, all right, 529 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 2: I like a. 530 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: Fan of sheets. Yeah, you get into it. 531 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 3: Uh. 532 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 1: Here's the frustrating thing about the CNN article is it 533 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:13,120 Speaker 1: does not say how they found out who these people are. 534 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 1: It was a twenty year old suspect. Sure of course 535 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 1: they were. They were stealing just some booze. Yes, that 536 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 1: is it. That just popped a watermelon on their head 537 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,479 Speaker 1: and went to sheets and stole some liquor. 538 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. 539 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:35,159 Speaker 3: First cartoon is of just like, dude, you think that 540 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 3: hits on your head? 541 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 1: I want I need some I want some tequila. 542 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 2: My I also think you should be rewarded a little 543 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 2: bit for the quality of your disguise. If it's like 544 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 2: a minor crime, like if you steal beer from a sheets, 545 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 2: if you're wearing a watermelon on your head, you go, okay, 546 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 2: so you stole beer. So that's like three years in jail. 547 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 2: But the watermelon is so and I'm guessing it was 548 00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,920 Speaker 2: vertical watermelon, not horizontal. Very funny, of. 549 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: Course, agree, I mean it's funnier. 550 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 2: But uh, but then they should have been like, but 551 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,080 Speaker 2: that is really funny and nobody got hurt, so we're 552 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 2: going to give you six months. 553 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: I agree with that all. 554 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, the Six Mountains watermelon class. 555 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 556 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,959 Speaker 1: Probably if you want to get away with a crime, 557 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 1: you probably don't want your disguise to be so fascinating 558 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,640 Speaker 1: and noticeable encumbersome. 559 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 3: I mean, you got to know that did he get away? 560 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,800 Speaker 1: They got and then one of them. 561 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 3: Because if you when you're walking away, like in that 562 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 3: movie scene that you're like slow walking out, we fucking 563 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 3: got the tequila. You know you're taking that fucking thing 564 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 3: off and smashing it. 565 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's the best part. Then how the how 566 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: can they prove it? It's like, where's the watermelon? 567 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 3: Where's how would I put those pieces on my head, ma'am, sir. 568 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: You never mentioned they were wearing watermelons. 569 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 2: Oh, I have a buddy and he grew up on 570 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 2: near Cave Cod and he when he was underage, he 571 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 2: was going out with for so that were old enough 572 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,959 Speaker 2: to drink at all the bars. So he had one 573 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,960 Speaker 2: of the greatest decisions I've ever heard, which was he 574 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 2: took uh his uh an idea of somebody else that 575 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:14,240 Speaker 2: wasn't him, and he took a piece of paper bag 576 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,280 Speaker 2: and cut a small paper bag with eye holes and 577 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 2: glued it to the license over the face, and then 578 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 2: took a paper bag and cut holes out of it 579 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,360 Speaker 2: and went to the bars wearing a paper bag over 580 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 2: his head with an id of a paper bag headed 581 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 2: guy that wasn't him. And they let him into every 582 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 2: single bar on the case because they appreciated it so genius. 583 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 2: Well I heard that. 584 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 3: I wait, they were so charmed by it. 585 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, they were like, it's so funny. And then he 586 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 2: like he was with a group of people that were 587 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 2: of age, and I think he was nineteen, and he 588 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 2: had an idea of somebody was like twenty five so 589 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 2: that he didn't look like so instead he just wore 590 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,720 Speaker 2: a paper bag mask and put a miniature paper bag 591 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 2: mask on his idea, and they were like, come on in, 592 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 2: I would my fake. 593 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 3: I want to try pretty bad too, I would give 594 00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 3: it to it. But I was like, you know, like 595 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 3: sort of at the age where I was sneaking into bars, 596 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,959 Speaker 3: I was, so it was such a strange combination of 597 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 3: like confused sexuality. Fact like just like I knew I 598 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,240 Speaker 3: was butch, and I knew that I wanted to be 599 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,760 Speaker 3: wearing my brother's hand me down still, but I also 600 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 3: knew that like if I was going to make a 601 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,080 Speaker 3: life for myself, I gotta put hoops on. And I like, 602 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 3: I just looked fucking weird to begin with. And then 603 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 3: just like someone in drag that doesn't want to be 604 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 3: in drag, that doesn't suit drag at all. And then 605 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 3: and all my friends were like these babe young hottie cutie, 606 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 3: like the popular girls, so they would like go first, 607 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 3: purposely because my ID was some person in our high 608 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 3: school's sister that was like in her thirties and white 609 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 3: and completely different looking than me. Sure, but I was 610 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,080 Speaker 3: just I was kind of like, you know, the banana 611 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 3: that came with a bunch. It was like you know, 612 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 3: if you want these fucking young hot things, you got 613 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 3: to take this Bruce banana. 614 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so funny. I've remember mine was 615 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: my brother in law's, Brian's. It was just his. It 616 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:14,080 Speaker 1: was just his NRA card and a credit card. Whoa, 617 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: but his NRA card had like a picture of him 618 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 1: on it, and so I would use try and use 619 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 1: those to get in, and they they worked once and 620 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: then I look confiscated. They Yeah, because it can go 621 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 1: two ways. 622 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 3: It could be sort of like, oh, he's got a gun, 623 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 3: we gotta get him in, or it could be like, bitch, 624 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 3: you don't have a gun. 625 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: You're also staying forty. 626 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's also like all the person. Really, it just 627 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 2: depends on the place in the state. I hate the 628 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,320 Speaker 2: places where it's like once they started scanning the magnetic code, 629 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,880 Speaker 2: it was all over that like the art of fake IDs. 630 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 2: I feel like it's dead. 631 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 1: All right, It's all over now, isn't it unless. 632 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,920 Speaker 2: You have access to the actual magnetic strips. 633 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,080 Speaker 3: But uh, that's when the opioids really took off. The 634 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,960 Speaker 3: minute that machine was made. 635 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 2: To talk about that people like I did city theft 636 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,320 Speaker 2: and stuff like that, Like people that were on meth 637 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,320 Speaker 2: used to like take time to retape credit cards that 638 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,240 Speaker 2: were in shredders, and they would like put them back 639 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 2: together because they were just so crystaled out. They were like, 640 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:11,520 Speaker 2: let's go for it. 641 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 1: Just thousands of hours of like wanting to do small, 642 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 1: small tasks is just going through trash and like reassembling 643 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,920 Speaker 1: shredded documents. Sounds like you're talking about my wife. 644 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 2: Thank you. Hello, we need a airhorn sound effect. 645 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: Oh man, I can't believe I don't even have one. 646 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,360 Speaker 2: Do you want do you want to store you guys? 647 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't desperately. 648 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 2: Okay, good. 649 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:36,680 Speaker 3: Uh. 650 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:42,320 Speaker 2: This one's from the New York Post Airbnb renter returns 651 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 2: to a quote overweight Orgy. This is by Frank Rosario, C. J. 652 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 2: Sullivan and Joe Tucapino. And you know, yep, and nobody's 653 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 2: saying it got to ask you so far. 654 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,200 Speaker 3: Everyone else, most famous person in your family, you take 655 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,720 Speaker 3: their first name as your last name, and it's a 656 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 3: curse that. 657 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:08,280 Speaker 2: You bear this first sentence. You too, I bet respond 658 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,400 Speaker 2: to a couple of the words because they don't quite connect, 659 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 2: but we're going to go with it. A comedian, under 660 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,880 Speaker 2: the impression he had rented out as posh Chelsea pad 661 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,319 Speaker 2: already suspect. A man with a family in town for 662 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:25,480 Speaker 2: a wedding returned home to a wild orgy. Ari this 663 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 2: comedian claimed he left his apartment keys with the guy's 664 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 2: a guy named David, on a Friday night and stepped 665 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 2: out to dinner before leaving town. When he returned to 666 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,840 Speaker 2: his building to grab his luggage, a rowdy sex party 667 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 2: featuring quote big beautiful women end quote was in process 668 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,759 Speaker 2: of being shut down by the building management. This was 669 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 2: so bizarre, says Ari, who had rented the apartment via Airbnb. 670 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 2: There are all sorts of people walking in and out 671 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,960 Speaker 2: of my apartment, people coming in from the backyard. It 672 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,440 Speaker 2: was a huge mess, he says. The apartment and was 673 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,760 Speaker 2: trashed by a group of nearly nude, overweight people. After 674 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 2: the shin dig was broken up, Carvis was a excuse me. 675 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 2: Ari was a nervous wreck in the lobby. Uh nervous wreck? 676 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:17,839 Speaker 1: What nervous wreck? Why won't they lose weight? I have 677 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 1: so many questions. 678 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 3: About are my yeah, go go go go? 679 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,840 Speaker 1: First, what comedian is living in a posh Chelsea apartment? 680 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,479 Speaker 3: Is so expensive and chesse a great detective work. 681 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: Second, question, why the fuck is he coming back after 682 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 1: he rented his apartment out? You creepy weirdo, you your 683 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,839 Speaker 1: apartment out, You don't come back, you fucking weirdo. Yeah, man, 684 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,360 Speaker 1: why you gotta call him overweight? They're just people fucking 685 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 1: in your apartment. That the shocking. 686 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 3: Is it illegal to have sex with lots of people? 687 00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 3: Because put me in jail? 688 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:55,680 Speaker 1: That's what I do. 689 00:35:56,280 --> 00:36:00,560 Speaker 3: You and third of all, third of all, why is 690 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 3: my internal first reaction? Well that should be great material. 691 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,440 Speaker 3: When I hate when people say that to me. 692 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: It's yeah, no shit, Ari, Now you got another five 693 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 1: fucking minutes. 694 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 2: There you go. You you actually just named the three 695 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,960 Speaker 2: things at that first sentence, So this is great. So 696 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 2: David the renter, David, this is when it gets so fun. 697 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,759 Speaker 2: It's already pretty fun. David claimed, this is the renter 698 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,520 Speaker 2: that he had just a small quai get together and 699 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:36,760 Speaker 2: that Ari was overreacting. Quote, I had six people, friends 700 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 2: and family, David told the host and family he is 701 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 2: making a big to do because he's being evicted. 702 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,160 Speaker 1: Is my brother. This is my sister, and that's my friends. 703 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,799 Speaker 2: So yeah, those two over there smoking hogans, those are 704 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:52,240 Speaker 2: my brother. 705 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 3: So David person is a Galapagos turtle who's literally changing 706 00:36:58,960 --> 00:36:59,879 Speaker 3: the world. 707 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:09,439 Speaker 2: Uncle Diego. So so Ari Ari rented it because David said, 708 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,320 Speaker 2: I want I need a place for my in laws 709 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,080 Speaker 2: to stay while they're in town for a wedding. Very 710 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,840 Speaker 2: believable lie. He had a verified account, he seemed legit. 711 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,759 Speaker 2: Ari says he had three positive reviews, not a ton, 712 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,880 Speaker 2: but enough, so I proved the deal. So this is 713 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:25,719 Speaker 2: the this is the best part of the whole thing. 714 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:29,520 Speaker 2: So David's denying it, Ari's saying it happened. So Ari 715 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,640 Speaker 2: later searched Carter's phone number on the Internet and found 716 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,920 Speaker 2: uh found the raunchy soiree involving plus sized women. The 717 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 2: post can't stop getting over that these are larger women 718 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 2: advertised online as quote turn it Up, Part two, the 719 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 2: pante raid. One person even blasted seventh Avenue of vest 720 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,840 Speaker 2: In a Ari seventh. So this one person that's showing 721 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,600 Speaker 2: up to Ari's seventh avenue address tweets triple X freakfest. 722 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:02,360 Speaker 2: This is gonna be so good. He denies having anything 723 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:06,439 Speaker 2: to do with the ad, and the professional comedian calls 724 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,760 Speaker 2: the police. No charges were filed, and he now claims 725 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,839 Speaker 2: he wants to move I just don't want to touch 726 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,319 Speaker 2: anything in there. He said. This guy I threw, I 727 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 2: just threw sheets all over everything. 728 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, it would have been way better off if he 729 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:23,160 Speaker 3: didn't incorporate the way. But it is. I mean once 730 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,680 Speaker 3: you google the thing, and then there were they advertising 731 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,440 Speaker 3: it as like you must be this big to be 732 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 3: fucking me. 733 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:34,040 Speaker 2: He said it was. Yeah, the raunchy invite said plus 734 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,520 Speaker 2: size women turn. 735 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,520 Speaker 3: Then I got the petty road. 736 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 2: He got later hoodwinked um. But then you know, to 737 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,360 Speaker 2: David Skrety, he takes the most New York excuse ever quote. 738 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,279 Speaker 2: I was not arrested, therefore I did nothing wrong. It's 739 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,880 Speaker 2: a good way to live. 740 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,360 Speaker 1: I once had a guy. I once had an Airbnb 741 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,160 Speaker 1: guy try and come back. I've had multiple Airbnb people 742 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 1: try and come back on me while I was staying 743 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:04,480 Speaker 1: at their yes, but one was in Paris. I was 744 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,719 Speaker 1: there with my then girlfriend. He meets us to give 745 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,799 Speaker 1: us the keys at like a bar and he's like, 746 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,279 Speaker 1: let's have a drink, and I'm like, I get it. 747 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,360 Speaker 1: He wants to make sure we're cool, not creep's going 748 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 1: to stay in his place. He grabs my girlfriend's hand 749 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,200 Speaker 1: and looks her in the eye and goes, you have 750 00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:21,920 Speaker 1: the most beautiful blue eyes. 751 00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:22,400 Speaker 2: Wow. 752 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:23,839 Speaker 1: And then he looks at me and goes, I can 753 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:28,120 Speaker 1: say that I'm French, and I was like, well can you, 754 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 1: and then like leaves us there and we just got 755 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 1: a kind of creepy vibe and then he leaves. We're 756 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 1: back at his place hanging out, and like maybe an 757 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,920 Speaker 1: hour after he left, he's like, my train got canceled. 758 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:42,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to come back to the apartment and stay 759 00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 1: with you this week. What WHOA no, yes, uh huh. 760 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,680 Speaker 1: And we said no, you can't, and he said, I 761 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,439 Speaker 1: just need to pick some stuff up. And they said, 762 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: well we're leaving. He's like, don't leave, I'll be right there. 763 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,839 Speaker 1: And we just left and we never went back. 764 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,800 Speaker 3: You got full refund. You checked into a sexy hotel 765 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:03,040 Speaker 3: second time. 766 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,400 Speaker 1: Second time somebody tried to come back on me and 767 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,319 Speaker 1: I got a refund. Yeah. 768 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 3: Thanks, those sexy blue eyes you carry with you. JK. 769 00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,200 Speaker 3: It's not about your wife, it's about your girlfriend, and 770 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,680 Speaker 3: that person is gone and dead to me. 771 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:17,440 Speaker 1: Gone. 772 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,239 Speaker 2: That happens a lot. I think there are a lot 773 00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:21,920 Speaker 2: of stories that pop up when I'm looking for some 774 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,879 Speaker 2: of these banana stories that are there are a lot 775 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,960 Speaker 2: about like somebody squatting, like an Airbnb person, you come 776 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,319 Speaker 2: back and they won't leave. That that seems to be 777 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,000 Speaker 2: like a really common one too, is just come back 778 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,320 Speaker 2: and somebody's just like, nah, it's mine, this is my place. 779 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,560 Speaker 1: Now, I live here. 780 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,279 Speaker 2: Now, sorry, this is this is me. 781 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:43,839 Speaker 3: I haven't been arrested, so I don't understand why this 782 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:45,479 Speaker 3: is not the right mood. 783 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 2: And then my friend sameir rented one in New Orleans 784 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,319 Speaker 2: that he will have to have him on some time 785 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:54,480 Speaker 2: to tell the story, but he swears it was it's 786 00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,360 Speaker 2: a haunted house. And he didn't believe any of that 787 00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 2: stuff before either his wife. He felt he was getting 788 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,600 Speaker 2: choked all the stuff, and that they're those Airbnb owners 789 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 2: didn't leave. They're supposed to leave, but they're like, we'll 790 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,439 Speaker 2: just be upstairs. Don't worry. It's like such a big house, 791 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,239 Speaker 2: like you won't even know we're here. And then in 792 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,839 Speaker 2: the morning they were like, did anything weird happen to you? 793 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,960 Speaker 2: And they were like and he was like, actually, yes, 794 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:15,960 Speaker 2: like I felt like somebody's choking me and blah blah, 795 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:17,920 Speaker 2: and they're like the renters look at each other and 796 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,520 Speaker 2: they're like Yeah, that room's haunted. That happens to everybody 797 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 2: that stays there. And they're like, we used to advertise it, 798 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:26,799 Speaker 2: but now we don't. 799 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:32,440 Speaker 3: But the changed your decision to stay here. 800 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,720 Speaker 1: Standard chokeandard goes choking. 801 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,120 Speaker 2: I love or so much. I love New Orleans. That's 802 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,680 Speaker 2: where Sabrina and I met, was a New Orleans. Yeah, 803 00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 2: that was a good time. We hung out, We hung 804 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,239 Speaker 2: out all night. That was a lot of fun. 805 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. New Orleans has a lot of layers to it 806 00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,560 Speaker 3: because the emphasis is like get lose, have fun, live 807 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,880 Speaker 3: your life, but also everything's haunted. 808 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,759 Speaker 2: Yes, and like you can always tell and this is 809 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,000 Speaker 2: this is no shots fired, but you can always tell 810 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,879 Speaker 2: when it's somebody's first time to New Orleans because their 811 00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:07,600 Speaker 2: Instagram picks are always the haunted rental apartment signs. It's 812 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 2: always like haunted and that's like number one. And then 813 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,160 Speaker 2: when they come back, they're like, I really think I 814 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,799 Speaker 2: could live there, and it's it's an awesome place. But 815 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 2: then when you go and you live there for like 816 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,640 Speaker 2: a month or two, like when I was shooting a 817 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,880 Speaker 2: TV show down there, you do start to go like 818 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,080 Speaker 2: I need to get out of this. I'm all salt 819 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,440 Speaker 2: and alcohol at this point. 820 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,360 Speaker 3: And yeah, and can I be completely shots fired and 821 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,360 Speaker 3: a little bit honest about that orange type, that orange 822 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 3: tin of coffee that they sell at the Begnet place. 823 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, please cafe do Mom. I don't think it's good. Nah. 824 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:47,280 Speaker 3: I think Cafe Gistello coming in the same shape, way cheaper, Yeah, 825 00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,160 Speaker 3: same quality and better what it's just like it's kind 826 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,120 Speaker 3: of like muddy coffee. And then can I be honest 827 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:58,840 Speaker 3: about another thing? Yeah, Bennet's Benny. 828 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,600 Speaker 2: Not the calories. 829 00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:08,200 Speaker 1: Okay, I'm drawing the line there. Gonnas are pretty good. 830 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:08,560 Speaker 2: God. 831 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,520 Speaker 3: I hope I don't get murdered when this gets released. 832 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:14,040 Speaker 1: No, no, no, people will complain about that. 833 00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,240 Speaker 3: Just unrelated. That was just an unrelated wish desire. 834 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 1: You guys ready for it? 835 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,960 Speaker 2: Please? Is it me or you? Who's up? 836 00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:24,040 Speaker 1: Mate? 837 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 2: Right? 838 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,640 Speaker 1: You just finished an Airbnb story, didn't you? I did? Yeah? 839 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 2: All right? 840 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:34,960 Speaker 1: A Tokyo aquarium is making an emergency plea for people 841 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:39,040 Speaker 1: to FaceTime it's eels so they don't get too shy. 842 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:44,480 Speaker 2: Okay, are you interested? Yes? 843 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,040 Speaker 1: You guys are interested on that one. 844 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:49,080 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, as long as they play poor unfortunate soul 845 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:52,280 Speaker 3: from from Little Mermaid. 846 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,799 Speaker 1: And this comes to us from Lieutenant Dan ice Cream. 847 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,440 Speaker 1: Thank you, Lieutenant Dan ice Cream. 848 00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,600 Speaker 3: I don't think that's a trusted news source. 849 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:01,360 Speaker 2: That's my neighbor. 850 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,279 Speaker 1: That is our listener who sent it in. This is 851 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:13,720 Speaker 1: in Business Insider by Mary and meijenshawl love you Mary, 852 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,560 Speaker 1: keep writing about it. The Sumido Aquarium in Tokyo has 853 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,319 Speaker 1: been closed since March first the coronavirus pandemic. Keepers at 854 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,920 Speaker 1: the aquarium are asking people to FaceTime with the eels 855 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:25,440 Speaker 1: so they don't forget about having human visitors and become 856 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:30,360 Speaker 1: too shy. They have set up five tablets along the 857 00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,839 Speaker 1: tank where callers will be displayed between May third and 858 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,319 Speaker 1: May fifth. And the thing is about these that they're 859 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:42,360 Speaker 1: normally like normally terrified of human beings, but just because 860 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:46,480 Speaker 1: they're so constantly used to people coming up there, they're 861 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:53,320 Speaker 1: very cute. They're tiny little maurials there are. It is 862 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:54,520 Speaker 1: like as far as. 863 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,280 Speaker 3: A so people just FaceTime into that hole? What people 864 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,319 Speaker 3: just FaceTime into like say, I mean when the muse 865 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,319 Speaker 3: when the thing opens back up, the eels are gonna 866 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,279 Speaker 3: be like, why aren't any of these people jerking off 867 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:10,440 Speaker 3: like the screen people? Why aren't they wiggling their tiny eels. 868 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 1: Why aren't they just tiny heads? 869 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:13,200 Speaker 2: And literally. 870 00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,080 Speaker 1: It is a very funny image of all these people's 871 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,040 Speaker 1: faces on iPads just looking at these because these eels 872 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,600 Speaker 1: are cute. And the thing is is the reason that 873 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,880 Speaker 1: they're doing this is because the eels need to The 874 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,000 Speaker 1: zoo keepers need to be able to come and check 875 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,480 Speaker 1: on the eels to make sure they're safe. And when 876 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,879 Speaker 1: they don't have humans around, they get spooked by having 877 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,319 Speaker 1: a human all of a sudden show up, so they 878 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 1: can't check on them. So they need to do this. 879 00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,200 Speaker 1: So they're just you know, they're used to being constantly 880 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,640 Speaker 1: stared at, which is very strange. 881 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,239 Speaker 3: I wonder if eels, if eels like have an exterior, 882 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,520 Speaker 3: because to me, immediately I think of like Ursula, ariol 883 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:55,880 Speaker 3: little mermaid villains, right, I wonder. I mean, this story 884 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:59,400 Speaker 3: makes completely shatters that image and makes me think like, oh, 885 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:03,080 Speaker 3: cutie want human connection, I want to be seen. 886 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you only see like that more eel 887 00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:09,480 Speaker 1: is like the classic eel. It's always just doing that 888 00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:11,839 Speaker 1: thing with its mouth where it seems threatening, but that's 889 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:12,959 Speaker 1: actually just the way it. 890 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,719 Speaker 3: Brethes, just how it smiles. It's just like it is. 891 00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:20,239 Speaker 2: They're pretty creepy, they're pretty bizarre animals. 892 00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:26,600 Speaker 1: But I know I'm telling you these these you can't 893 00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:27,600 Speaker 1: know it's all over. 894 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:33,759 Speaker 2: But if the lockdown continues, there's no doubt I'm going 895 00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,840 Speaker 2: to FaceTime Eels. It's gonna be It's gonna make my 896 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:37,279 Speaker 2: whole day. 897 00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,800 Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm gonna FaceTime the ship out of some eals. 898 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 2: Man. You need to Baltimore where I'm from, or I'm 899 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,640 Speaker 2: from Reister's Town actually, but Maryland has a great aquarium. 900 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,800 Speaker 2: We're kind of famous for having one of the best 901 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,759 Speaker 2: national aquariums. And one of the things they do in 902 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,520 Speaker 2: the spring is they have a lot of proms there 903 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,920 Speaker 2: because there's this outdoor sort of rental area they put 904 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,759 Speaker 2: up tents and then usually the private schools and the like, 905 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,200 Speaker 2: the smaller schools, they'll have a prom there. So, uh, 906 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,399 Speaker 2: this is the best. So I went with this hot 907 00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,440 Speaker 2: to high school with this kid. I'll just say, I 908 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,200 Speaker 2: don't know what happened to him, So just his first name, 909 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,440 Speaker 2: his name is Jason, and he was underage trying to 910 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:19,399 Speaker 2: get into a bar in Baltimore near the aquarium, and 911 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:22,120 Speaker 2: he gives in a harbor baby inner harbor life and 912 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 2: I can't remember cantcun canteena comes to mind, but I 913 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,120 Speaker 2: don't know if that's where it was. So he he 914 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,239 Speaker 2: gets up to line with a fake ID, trying to 915 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:32,879 Speaker 2: get in with an older woman he was dating. He's 916 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:33,600 Speaker 2: like one of those high. 917 00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,640 Speaker 3: School paperbag on ID. 918 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,279 Speaker 2: I know. Oh yeah, there's a theme. It's about all 919 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:43,399 Speaker 2: my friends are scumbacks. So he's dating an older woman. 920 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:44,879 Speaker 2: He's one of these guys in high school. It's dating 921 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,600 Speaker 2: like a twenty five or twenty six year old woman. 922 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,280 Speaker 2: And he tries to get in and the guy working 923 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:53,200 Speaker 2: the door is an off duty cop who takes it 924 00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:56,200 Speaker 2: and is like, this is a fake ID, You're under arrest, 925 00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:01,560 Speaker 2: And instead of going like shit, Jason takes off running. 926 00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,120 Speaker 1: Yes, honestly, I relate. 927 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,600 Speaker 3: I feel that's the move it is. 928 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:06,880 Speaker 1: I would have choose yes. 929 00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,600 Speaker 2: The cop like signals his buddies that are like officers 930 00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,879 Speaker 2: that are in their uniforms, and they give chase. He 931 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,640 Speaker 2: runs full speed to the inner harbor, dives in, swims 932 00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:22,640 Speaker 2: around the aquarium. No, no gets away because but the 933 00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,239 Speaker 2: best is when he climbed out. It was on the 934 00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:26,520 Speaker 2: opposite side of the aquarium. Opposite of where a prom 935 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,759 Speaker 2: was happening, and they said bron kids were cheering for 936 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,400 Speaker 2: him as he climbed out of the harbor over near 937 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:33,880 Speaker 2: I don't even know what that would be called, like 938 00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,879 Speaker 2: over your kind of near Fell's Point area now, and 939 00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,239 Speaker 2: like just gets out and runs away. And he got 940 00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:40,319 Speaker 2: away with it one but he had to swim like 941 00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,239 Speaker 2: I don't know, a quarter of a mile or something like. 942 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,400 Speaker 1: And also that and at that time too, I'm assuming 943 00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,120 Speaker 1: like this is somewhere in the mid nineties, late nineties. 944 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,719 Speaker 2: It was nineteen ninety nine. 945 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god. The inner harbor was so disgusting at 946 00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:59,600 Speaker 1: that time. Yes, they used to have little like just 947 00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:03,160 Speaker 1: both that would crawl around and just scoop trash out 948 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:06,600 Speaker 1: of it because it was like fifty trash at that time. 949 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:10,239 Speaker 2: Oh man, It's like when I just thinking about that 950 00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:12,680 Speaker 2: right now, it's like we didn't have cell phones back then, 951 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,840 Speaker 2: so you just kind of like dove in, like you 952 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:16,239 Speaker 2: just had your keys in your wallet and you're like, 953 00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:17,920 Speaker 2: I'm out of here. And then he was just big 954 00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,560 Speaker 2: enough nut that he just swam for safety around around 955 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,879 Speaker 2: a junior senior prom and then just got away with it. 956 00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,440 Speaker 3: So I feel like, maybe this is a good idea. 957 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:29,920 Speaker 3: Tell me if I'm wrong. 958 00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:31,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, give it to us. 959 00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,360 Speaker 3: A new gym called give Chase m. You become a 960 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:40,440 Speaker 3: member and you pay a monthly fee and and you know, 961 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,879 Speaker 3: time at any time. This is for people that don't 962 00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,279 Speaker 3: like working out. Okay, they need to be jolted into 963 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:52,279 Speaker 3: it at any time. You someone pretends to start arresting you, 964 00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:55,240 Speaker 3: and they just chase you for about you know, three miles, 965 00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:57,640 Speaker 3: however many calories you want you agreed to want to burn. 966 00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,959 Speaker 2: Yes, nothing could ever go wrong. I could go wrong 967 00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:01,279 Speaker 2: with this. 968 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,480 Speaker 1: When it first starts. When it first starts, they know 969 00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,280 Speaker 1: you're not going to run very far, so they have 970 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,879 Speaker 1: things that they have to stop to do, Like every 971 00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,120 Speaker 1: once in a while, they'll start walking, so then you 972 00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:13,359 Speaker 1: can walk for a little while. 973 00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:17,120 Speaker 2: Yes, a missing relative, relative goes missing and the cops 974 00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:18,560 Speaker 2: come to your door and you just run out the 975 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:23,279 Speaker 2: back door and run away for two hours. I mean, 976 00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,840 Speaker 2: I like it. In a perfect world. What a workout? 977 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:29,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, all my ideas work in a perfect world. And 978 00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,280 Speaker 3: that's why I'm kind of fucked. 979 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:35,160 Speaker 2: You're an idealist till the end. That's so funny. Well, 980 00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,759 Speaker 2: I'll FaceTime those eels. I say, if it comes back up, 981 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:41,040 Speaker 2: we'll uh, we'll post on Instagram and we encourage everybody 982 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:44,360 Speaker 2: to please just just say hi to those eels in Japan. 983 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:46,439 Speaker 1: Oh hell yeah. Sobrina, where did. 984 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,600 Speaker 3: You do it on the pod? Call it banana eel? 985 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:52,319 Speaker 1: Oh a man, It rolls right off the tongue and 986 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:58,839 Speaker 1: sounds good too, like what she was doing. Soria, where 987 00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:00,800 Speaker 1: did you have your prompt? Did you have a prom? 988 00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:01,879 Speaker 2: Oh? God, prom? 989 00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. So I was a couple of years into stand 990 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,360 Speaker 3: up by the time prom hit and stand up started. 991 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,680 Speaker 1: Stand up I start school. 992 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,279 Speaker 3: I started stand up at sixteen, So by the time 993 00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,880 Speaker 3: I was eighteen, I had found, you know, the crazy 994 00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:19,520 Speaker 3: neighbor equivalent of a production company and pitched to them 995 00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:23,120 Speaker 3: that they would come to prom with me, thereby skirting 996 00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,560 Speaker 3: the fact that I was gay again you know they 997 00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:29,640 Speaker 3: were they were my beardy hoop earrings. Yes, and and 998 00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:31,719 Speaker 3: so they came with me to prompt. So I had 999 00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,239 Speaker 3: like a camera crew come to my prom with me. 1000 00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:38,640 Speaker 3: And again I was trying with this like low cut 1001 00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:40,799 Speaker 3: like it was you know, when you you're when you 1002 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,520 Speaker 3: are trying to avoid something, so then you just end 1003 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,040 Speaker 3: up stepping in it. In the weirdest ways, like, yeah, 1004 00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,560 Speaker 3: the dress that I wore was like this, remember the 1005 00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,719 Speaker 3: one that jlore where it goes like all the way 1006 00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:53,759 Speaker 3: down to your bed the clevelandge goes to Yeah. I 1007 00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,040 Speaker 3: was like, if I go with the outline she wore, 1008 00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:58,920 Speaker 3: I'll be straight in no time. So I put this 1009 00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:02,279 Speaker 3: long gown on and then these high ass shoes that 1010 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,880 Speaker 3: were off my feet within five minutes of the prom. 1011 00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,440 Speaker 3: Within five minutes of the prom, I'd like tied a 1012 00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:09,879 Speaker 3: knot on the dress, made it like a weird two top, 1013 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:14,759 Speaker 3: was wearing like underwear shorts and was barefoot. It was 1014 00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:15,759 Speaker 3: that some banquet hall. 1015 00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:17,600 Speaker 1: Where was it? 1016 00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:19,239 Speaker 3: It was some banquet in Toronto? 1017 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:25,160 Speaker 1: Oh Toronto? Yes for audience, Yes, all right, Scott, you 1018 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:26,520 Speaker 1: got our last story. 1019 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:30,080 Speaker 2: Last story, And gosh, I was I was gonna say, 1020 00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:34,879 Speaker 2: I'll keep it short, but that's just so cruel. World 1021 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:39,200 Speaker 2: shortest man regains crowned after previous Ginyard record holder Guinness 1022 00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:40,319 Speaker 2: record holder. 1023 00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,160 Speaker 1: Dies Oh yeah, oh he saw this one. 1024 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:48,640 Speaker 2: This is from uh Lewis or Luis Cassiano, Fox News, 1025 00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:52,200 Speaker 2: Fox News. So I got a lot of good weird news. 1026 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:55,480 Speaker 1: How short is he give it to us? 1027 00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:58,440 Speaker 2: Great question? So the world's shortest living man regained Guinness 1028 00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,840 Speaker 2: World Records honor this week after the previous record holder died. 1029 00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:06,880 Speaker 2: Colombian Edward Ninho Hernandez, thirty four years old, was presented 1030 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,920 Speaker 2: with an official certificate. Who doesn't Love a certificate on 1031 00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:14,000 Speaker 2: Wednesday in the capital of Bogata, alongside his family and orthopedist. 1032 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:19,680 Speaker 2: Of course, I only travel with orthopedis. He stands two 1033 00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:24,000 Speaker 2: feet four inches tall, indicating a growth spurt. He was 1034 00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:26,880 Speaker 2: measured at two feet three inches tall when he claimed 1035 00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:31,200 Speaker 2: the record in twenty ten. So the person he stole 1036 00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:35,239 Speaker 2: at the gentleman he stole it from, which looks like 1037 00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:39,440 Speaker 2: Co Gendra Thoppa magar of Nepal, previously held this record 1038 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:43,760 Speaker 2: at two feet two inches tall. He suddenly and tragically 1039 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,799 Speaker 2: died in January, again making Hernandez the shortest living man. 1040 00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:49,200 Speaker 2: See it gets sad, but then the reason we're ending 1041 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,160 Speaker 2: on this one is because Hernandez knows how to bring 1042 00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:57,399 Speaker 2: it home. Hernandez, who celebrated his birthday, was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, 1043 00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,640 Speaker 2: a condition in which the thyroid glands don't produce enough 1044 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:06,239 Speaker 2: crucial hormones, and two decades after he was diagnosed, he 1045 00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:10,560 Speaker 2: stopped growing at age four. So here's the quote when 1046 00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:14,719 Speaker 2: receiving the certificate from Edward Hernandez quote. I use my 1047 00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,919 Speaker 2: smile to conquer the world. I always share my big 1048 00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:20,879 Speaker 2: smile with everyone. That's my charm, he says. I can 1049 00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:24,240 Speaker 2: achieve everything I set my mind to. Everything is possible. 1050 00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,520 Speaker 2: Size and height don't matter. I want people to meet 1051 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,760 Speaker 2: me who I truly am, small in size but big 1052 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:34,200 Speaker 2: in heart. I mean, come off that man. 1053 00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:35,080 Speaker 1: I love him. 1054 00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:42,399 Speaker 3: I hate him as a woman whose ideas only work 1055 00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:45,960 Speaker 3: in a perfect world. It's just like nice attitude. 1056 00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:48,239 Speaker 1: But it really no. 1057 00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,960 Speaker 3: That does show you it is. It reminds me this 1058 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,640 Speaker 3: is any room for a sincere story? 1059 00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:54,040 Speaker 2: Please? 1060 00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:55,080 Speaker 1: Yes, please? 1061 00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:55,920 Speaker 3: Are you sure? 1062 00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:57,160 Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolute? 1063 00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:58,080 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? 1064 00:54:58,280 --> 00:54:58,480 Speaker 5: Well? 1065 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:03,080 Speaker 3: I feel like like a a life moment for realization 1066 00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:06,120 Speaker 3: for me was when I went to Vietnam and I 1067 00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:09,400 Speaker 3: did some charity work with my friends. Parents ran a 1068 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,239 Speaker 3: charity called the Gifts Foundation. They still run it, and 1069 00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:15,000 Speaker 3: they collect you know, money throughout the year, and then 1070 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,480 Speaker 3: one at one point in the year they go out 1071 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,160 Speaker 3: with like suitcases full of all the stuff that these 1072 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,160 Speaker 3: people in the villages like are dying for, just like 1073 00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,360 Speaker 3: toothpaste and rice and pajamas and we got to be 1074 00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:29,480 Speaker 3: the Oprahs of the charity and hand out the packages. 1075 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:33,960 Speaker 3: And it was so profound, this feeling of like, you 1076 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:37,759 Speaker 3: know that these people in the line were similar, like 1077 00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:43,120 Speaker 3: their attitudes and their happiness probably skewed happier than people 1078 00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:46,480 Speaker 3: that I knew in the city like that. It's all 1079 00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,879 Speaker 3: about what your attitude and kind of and a lot 1080 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,520 Speaker 3: of that is the nature of the nurture and the 1081 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,120 Speaker 3: nature all of that, you know, assembles you with this 1082 00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:59,560 Speaker 3: outlook of whether this guy who's two feet tall is like, yeah, 1083 00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:03,320 Speaker 3: everything is fucking great, and you know, meanwhile, yeah, and 1084 00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,959 Speaker 3: how many dudes do you know that are like five 1085 00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,560 Speaker 3: foot what that are bombing countries because of it? I 1086 00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,880 Speaker 3: know six okay, And that's just and that's just counting 1087 00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:13,160 Speaker 3: off it. 1088 00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:20,319 Speaker 2: I should. I should, That's true. And this is never 1089 00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:22,440 Speaker 2: been a better time to just go out and do 1090 00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 2: as many nice things as possible. To write postcards to 1091 00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,600 Speaker 2: your friends, yeah, donate. 1092 00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:33,000 Speaker 3: There was this. I forgot that. The one example that 1093 00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:35,480 Speaker 3: was like that is like, you know, embedded in my 1094 00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:38,040 Speaker 3: mind is that because of Agent Orange, there's a lot 1095 00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:41,200 Speaker 3: of birth defects. And this one girl, she was in 1096 00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:44,400 Speaker 3: line for her. She had grandparents that were blind, her 1097 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:48,480 Speaker 3: parents were dead, she had a leg that was twisted 1098 00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:52,400 Speaker 3: around cork screw style with her the top of the 1099 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:56,240 Speaker 3: foot on the bottom. But her smile and her face 1100 00:56:56,320 --> 00:57:00,839 Speaker 3: and how grateful she was for this, Like Rice was incredible, 1101 00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:05,120 Speaker 3: Like you, the like soul that that emanated from her 1102 00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,200 Speaker 3: was like, Oh, this is the luckiest girl in the world. 1103 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:07,920 Speaker 2: You know. 1104 00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,280 Speaker 1: It's just a good thing to keep in mind, especially 1105 00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:13,439 Speaker 1: now because everybody's like biting at the at the bit 1106 00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,760 Speaker 1: for being in your house for two months going on. 1107 00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,920 Speaker 1: It's just like, guys, it is just a matter of perspective. 1108 00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,520 Speaker 1: This sucks, but it'll be over. It'll be over. You 1109 00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:26,000 Speaker 1: just have to remember that and just have to be 1110 00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:27,920 Speaker 1: the smallest man and have the biggest smile. 1111 00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:33,480 Speaker 2: That's right, that's right. Thank you for being such a wonderful. 1112 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,640 Speaker 1: Guess anything you want to plug, I. 1113 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,120 Speaker 3: Want to plug that. I'm tiny and I've got a 1114 00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,320 Speaker 3: good attitude about it. Okay, Yeah, I've been chatting with 1115 00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:42,880 Speaker 3: these tall guys and did I let them take over 1116 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:43,360 Speaker 3: the pod? 1117 00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:43,800 Speaker 4: No? 1118 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:49,200 Speaker 3: I hung with them, I played with them. I secured 1119 00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:51,640 Speaker 3: an invite back for the next door special. 1120 00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:54,520 Speaker 2: Okay, you really did. 1121 00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:59,400 Speaker 3: I'd like to just plug the idea of siring sire 1122 00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:02,320 Speaker 3: your future, sorry. 1123 00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:02,360 Speaker 1: Your future. 1124 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:05,440 Speaker 2: You heard it here first, You'll probably never hear that again, 1125 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:06,680 Speaker 2: but that's what we're all about. 1126 00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:11,280 Speaker 3: Follow me on Instagram, Follow me on Twitter, Follow Brina 1127 00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:13,400 Speaker 3: Jalis on a postar attitude. 1128 00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:26,720 Speaker 1: That's right, Bananas, Bananas. This has been an exactly right production. 1129 00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,160 Speaker 2: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine. 1130 00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,840 Speaker 1: Theme song by Khan Amani, and all. 1131 00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:33,640 Speaker 2: Of our artwork is done by Travis Millard. 1132 00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:37,480 Speaker 1: So please follow us on Instagram at The Bananas Podcast, 1133 00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:39,560 Speaker 1: where we post so many more stories and make it 1134 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:40,720 Speaker 1: here and you. 1135 00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,440 Speaker 2: Can share with us your strange news story by dming 1136 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,720 Speaker 2: us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast. 1137 00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,640 Speaker 1: So listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on 1138 00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:51,720 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts. 1139 00:58:52,080 --> 00:59:03,560 Speaker 5: Bananas Bananas troveby put theirs. 1140 00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:07,600 Speaker 4: They put thenas but better and nether provably, but their 1141 00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:11,360 Speaker 4: stay put danas but better, and I rather p