WEBVTT - Ep 277: Accepting Change in Your Partner (Ft. Amir & Basirah ) 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:08.920 Guess what decision we're about to make A horrible decisions. Hey, guys, 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:13.040 we beck at it again. Welcome to another episode of 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:17.079 Horrible Decisions without the accident. I'm your girl, Vandy v 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:20.320 A pet To Stillion a k A debt, bitch ok, 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:24.840 full Court Pumps a K A Peggan Baskins a k 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:29.000 A no Peggan, Marco, my bag, Carol Baskins, Mandy Baskins, Goddamn, 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:32.160 I don't do my fucking a ks enough killers ship 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:38.080 just pussy kill a Bill Murderess, no Pegrid. You know, 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:39.839 it was a time or two in my life and 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:42.120 I realized it didn't work out for me. And we 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:47.400 are joined today by another duo podcast, Both Sides of 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:53.000 the Bed a mere Ambassio. Welcome to the podcast. So excited. 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:54.960 I actually met them when I was high on edibles 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:57.240 and they're like, yeah, you know, Mage, right, where'd you 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:00.160 guys meet up for green Park? Where about it in 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:04.240 the summertime? Yeah, we were working though. What were doing 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:06.759 we were interviewing. So in the beginning of all our episodes, 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:10.040 we're going to speak to the people. We had the 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:11.880 mic and everything we ran up for. People have it, 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:15.280 some don't. Yeah, like, I watched one of this really 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:17.320 really cute girl and I was really worded. I clicked 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.479 on it because she was sexy and she was doing 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.160 like word on the street ship, and I was like, 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:23.960 you know when you're watching an interview and you're like, 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:26.160 why didn't you ask this? Why don't you say that? 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:27.800 And I'm like, Bro, if he's gonna go on the street, 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:31.320 anybody could do this be the personality home asked me 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.280 the ship about, Like, yeah, you know what I mean, 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:35.360 the things that are going to make people uncomfortable. But 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:37.800 that's the ship I love, and I think actually that's why, 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:41.600 um the dude that we had on I had been 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:43.480 so drawn to his clips because I was like, I 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:46.240 love finding out things about people. I don't know that 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.160 it's so crazy, Like I don't really want to hear 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.080 celebrities talk more than I want to hear about you 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:53.320 fucking your cousin. What's what's the craziest thing that y'all 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:57.360 have heard? Like interviewing people outside, have we heard crazy yet? 0:01:57.480 --> 0:02:01.120 I don't know about crazy, but maybe personal. Remember this 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.640 one girl was talking about how she was trying to 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:07.360 do anal but her butt was too small. So then 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:09.320 so then we like first needed to tell her, like 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:11.920 you should try you but plug and spread your asshole 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:14.000 so the tick can go in easier way. So y'all 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:18.600 educating people on the streets, I mean they have that's 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:22.720 a key life lesson. Yeah, I think my ball too. Yeah, no, 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:24.440 try it but she didn't did it though? She just 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:26.400 but I remember it was only the head and it 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:28.280 was like super painful. So I think the muscle. I 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.280 think some people just retract and it's like you can't relax. Oh, 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.120 you gotta be relaxed as you gotta have. I was 0:02:34.120 --> 0:02:36.160 about to say, you gotta have a whole breathing exercise 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:40.440 like you're about to have a baby, like you know, 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:44.720 you literally you literally have to do a whole breathing exercise. 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.040 So both sides of the bed. You guys are a couple, 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.480 So tell us about what you guys talk about on 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.560 your show. Um, and I know you have so many 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.959 clips about freaky versus kinky and that not being the same. 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:58.800 But you guys really educate too, So tell our audience 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.640 about your show, right. So, I mean the premise of 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:05.440 the show is centered around having conversations about sex that 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:08.680 people are comfortable with or just not a not know 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:11.080 that are available to them, you know. So it's really 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:14.160 just opening up the doors for people to have sexual 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:18.360 exploration and self exploration through the process of having said 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:20.560 when you said open up, I thought you were going 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:26.160 with something else, but okay, I guess opening opening up 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.000 and y'all work together and y'all live in a relationship, 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:30.800 so I need to know what the funk that is 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:32.880 like because we've had other couples to that have pods. 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:36.560 But I also know in talking to them after they've 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:38.840 done it for some time, it becomes stressful, Like what 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:41.120 if y'all get in an argument and gotta record the 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:47.360 next day this happens? Should add what was it yesterday? Actually? Actually? Yeah, 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:53.160 you guys about who is the most recent? UM? I 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:55.040 think just trying to get on the same page with 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:59.080 one another UM and just trying to operate on his program. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:01.400 Do you feel like, yeah, making well, how long have 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:05.040 we been together happen? Do you feel like podcasting together 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:08.280 like starting a business together was like smart? Like does 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:11.160 its strengthen the relationship? You're like absolutely, yeah, it's beautiful. 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.480 It's an amazing aspect of our relationship that's new now. 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:17.039 So it's like we really have a baby now through 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:20.240 doing this together. But I think because we basically live together, 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:23.320 but we have separate places. Once we reach that threshold 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:25.719 where it's like, all right, we've been two weeks. Now 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:27.200 it's time for you to take your ass home for 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:30.120 a little bit, then that's when the argument is really start. Yeah, 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.360 to go home. That's yeah, not not not not the 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:37.400 It's not that, it's it's more so that we've just 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.680 had our threshold of each other and just needing that 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:43.159 space because we do work together. Um, we do spend 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.320 a lot of time with each other. You know, we're partners, 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.839 are best friends, so we're partners in work as well. 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:49.960 I love it and a half years later though, you 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.560 guys still have your own separate places. Like to me, 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:54.400 that was something that I don't think I'll ever give 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:57.240 up in dating. Like, I love that we could spend 0:04:57.240 --> 0:04:59.240 PHO days together and then you go on home. We 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:03.520 have the favor a house, yeah, only because I have, Um, 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:07.320 I lived my sister, so yeah, we can be allowed 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:12.520 at his place. Well, because you guys are in a relationship, 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.880 I wanted to start with some relationship questions. Um, like 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:19.160 I said, so mad, I didn't bring my cards. But um, 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:22.160 these questions do kind of stem from Love Unlocked, which 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:25.320 is shout out to therapist Max Stanley, who is here 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:29.279 on the pod. I wanted to know. Um, let me 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.039 start with the woman because this is normally something. Is 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:36.040 there a fear in telling your partner no to something? 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:40.159 And if there is, what is it telling him no 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:45.360 to something? I wouldn't say a fear, um, maybe like 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:48.240 just a mild discomfort, just because I'm not sure of 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:52.279 his reaction. Um. Also, we have a dom sub dynamic, 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:56.240 so saying no isn't really Oh, you're not allowed to 0:05:56.279 --> 0:05:57.800 say no. It's it's not that I'm not allowed to 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:00.000 say no. It's just it's it's I have to say 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:09.080 it in a certain way. Yeah. Um, So with with 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:14.159 our dynamic, it's um, yes, it's not. Yeah okay, would 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:18.000 you like to help me explain this dynamic? Yes, we 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:21.400 have a down sub dynamic. And I would say our style, Well, 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:24.320 my style is more of a nurturing daddy dum, So 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:27.400 I'm not I'm not really about the extra strict protocols 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:29.240 and all of that. That not that there's anything wrong 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:31.240 with that, it's just not my style. I'm more chill, 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:34.840 really you guys living it all day every day. And 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:37.640 that's like where our challenges came about. Because when we 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.680 got together, it's in the beginning of COVID, So we 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:42.279 met a month right before COVID, and then we just 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:45.120 shocked up like immediately after that. So we got to 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:48.440 the thick of it real quick. So within developing that 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.520 learning that this is something that we wanted to do, 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.640 it was an interesting experience because we had just so 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:55.800 much time to do it because it's nothing else. What 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:57.719 kind of pet names go on in the daddy dumb 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:01.040 dynamic for both of you, for us baby girl for sure, 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:07.360 Princess daddy daddy. It's crazy because I've seen the transition 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:10.280 because like we'll be around family and then I have 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.640 to figure out how to turn off because it was 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.160 it was just it was just on for the first 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:16.800 year and a half. So now we started getting back 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:18.520 out into the world, it's like we'll go out to 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:21.520 brunch with my parents or whatever, and dadd star you 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:25.240 in front of the parents. I do and that it's 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:30.000 not like so we initially agreed that we'll I know, 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:32.960 I'm just sucking math. We initially agree that we'd code 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:34.760 switched because like why am I calling him daddy friend 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:37.320 of dad? But I'm so used to it. And when 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:39.840 he has a son, um and his son called him daddy, 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:41.360 so we just both call him dady. His son doesn't 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:44.040 think anything, so it's just that's just me. I'm not crazy, 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:47.200 I asked. Daddy asked, Yeah. It's completely works in that, 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:50.400 so I'm not necessarily having to quote switch all the time. 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:53.000 So just in the midst of it, I'll just be like, 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:54.760 Daddy can pass me to catch up. And his mom 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:58.640 is right next to like the first time that we're 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:01.720 saying the first time that it was on my birthday. Yeah, 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.040 it was on my birthday. I remember we're just eating. 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:05.520 I'm looking at my place and she said past the 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:09.800 catch huh, and I was looked Daddy, Yeah, it was 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:12.320 very loud to it's very loud. And I looked at 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:16.720 both of them. They're reserves people, is my honest belief 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:18.320 that they heard, and they were like, let me just mon, 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.320 were y'all texting under the table? No, but he said 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:26.040 like like, oh, that's where we're going with it. Okay, 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:32.320 but no, but now it's transitioned to a consistent sir. 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.520 So in places where it's not appropriate for daddy. It's 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:38.760 still consistent, sir. And it's funny that you say uncomfortable. 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:41.480 It's funny because sir is less uncomfortable. I know when 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:43.400 Monique went on to the breakfast club and she was 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:47.280 calling her husband daddy and he's also her manager, that 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.400 people felt away that she was calling her husband daddy, 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.880 and I don't. I guess it mixed before because oh yeah, 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:57.120 called her husband daddy publicly and a lot of people 0:08:57.200 --> 0:09:01.840 felt really weird that this powerful woman is somewhat submitting 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.760 to a man because she is who the funk she is? 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:10.520 Have you had this dynamic in a previous relationships? Really? So? 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:13.000 Then who introduced it? That was actually my next question? 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.480 Who introduced it? And how did the conversation happen? If 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.640 I assume you introduced this since this is your first time, 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:20.880 he definitely introduced it. The way he introduced it was 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:24.319 so hilarious to me. I'm just getting my version. So 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:27.920 we met on what was it the twenty second, January 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:29.520 twenty two. Now only know this because it might maybe 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:34.920 knowing my my sister's birthday is met they and on 0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:36.520 the twenty three, my sisters and I go to the 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:40.480 spot we get highest fun. I'm talking. We uh, we smoked, 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:42.920 we took edibles, we took some shrimps, and then this 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.360 random lady comes up to us. We're like soaking in 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:47.440 the top, asked naked, and she's like, I want to 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.800 buy some stuff, and like my two sisters, she's like 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:51.720 telling my two sisters wait, wait, wait, sorry, I don't 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:53.800 know if I skipped something. You were at a spot 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:58.600 and smoking. Yeah, you know, it's like the spot said, 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:00.840 I thought you said that we were at this spot. 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:08.120 I'm sorry at the spot and this lady just comes 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:10.600 up to us and just offers some drugs. So we're like, yeah, 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.840 we're gonna take some drugs. So I'm so because trusting. 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:16.760 We are really frusted because we're at the spot. It's 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:18.960 like we get high and then sweat it out. So 0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:20.920 we kept taking more. So at the end of the night, 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:23.240 we had this one cookie left, and my sisters are like, 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:24.920 we like stop at the highway. It's my two older 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:27.880 sisters and my three older sisters and myself and um, 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:29.880 we're in two different cars. We like pull over and 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:32.520 take another cookie, and I'm like, guys, I really don't 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:34.600 think it's a good idea. It's like a really good piece, 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:36.200 like we should be doing a small marks, like you're 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:39.640 such a little bit. They stake it. Then we get 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:41.840 to our house. We're in Jersey, drive to Queens. We 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:43.800 get to your house. I'm high as fun. Then when 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.000 we get outside, my one sister goes. My husband can't 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:49.200 know we're high, so just pretend you're sober. Fuck man's 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:52.280 pretender sober. So we get into the house and their 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.920 idea of pertaining or sober is drink wine if he 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:57.280 thinks we're drunk. So then I get drunk and ship. 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.360 So I'm drunk and high to this day, I don't 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:02.920 think I've been drunk and high at the same time 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:05.640 like that. And this guy texts me like I really 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:07.720 need to talk to you, and we had we had 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:09.880 sex their first night. I don't think I'm so high. 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:13.079 I'm like, should I got him pregnant? Like about to 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:16.920 be your daddy? Like that's how high. I'm like freaking out. 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:20.160 And I'm with my nephew who's also the name is Amir, 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.440 and um, I was so high. I thought he was 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:24.640 my my best friend. So I'm just like telling him 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:27.480 about my sex competes. I'm just like oh my god. Yes, 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.440 his diak is so big. I know you I'm talking 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.440 about him. No, my niphew's name is Amir as well. 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:35.040 No, no no, but at least you were talking about him. Yeah. Yeah. 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:37.439 So I'm like laying my niphew's nap. He's like petting me. 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.480 He's like, okay on see, just like trying to sober 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:42.079 me up. And I'm texting him and I'm like and 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:44.480 he just thinks I'm just like regular high and he's like, 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:46.680 I'll just get you ver since you can't drive. So 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:49.800 I go over there. I'm so terrified. I'm like, he's pregnant. 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:52.840 I'm going to be because he said because like what 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.360 else he urgently need to talk to me about right 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.199 after we have sex, Like this is a day he 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:01.160 could have been itching. I could I could go. I 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:04.079 was so hot. I was so hot I couldn't even 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.520 go there. You don't even think like you, I know 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:09.400 how you thought he was probably urgently thinking this man 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:14.640 was pregned by me. So I get there and he 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.160 were like playing in bed and I'm just like looking 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.400 at him like just shaking, like, oh my god, like 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:21.120 what is he about to say? Because then at some 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.839 point I'm just like, this man is not pregnant, so 0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:26.440 I just don't know what he's about to say. And 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:29.480 he's just like I was wondering, if you know, open 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.040 to this DS relationship. And I'm like, in two hours 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:37.720 brought it to her, that queen that this is the 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:40.040 whole part. This is me high. So this is this 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.560 is how it happened. When I remember, I remember, okay, 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:46.160 so was it four or forty hours prior we went 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.720 on our first date. Um, so, prior to that, we 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:50.720 didn't have a conversation. I don't even think I, let 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:52.800 you knew it was something I was interested in. I 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:54.920 don't think so. But prior to that, I only had 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:59.959 experience topping one person before, So you know, I had play, 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.000 I had the toys. You know. It was nice, fun 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:06.120 introduction to dominating somebody. So it's like that kind of 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:08.000 scratched a little issue. I was like, I want to 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:10.200 do what this is about. But I didn't find anybody 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.280 over the course of like maybe two years that I 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.600 was really ready to try to try that again with. 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:16.560 So we went on our first date and it was 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:21.000 just an instant, energetic experience. It was like she went 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:22.959 in to a very submissive space, and then I went 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:24.960 into a dominant space and it just kind of worked, 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.719 and then the light bulb went off, like maybe I 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.040 can activate on this. And so we get back to 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.360 my place and we, like you transformer, it was like 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:37.720 it was like it was left that. I was like 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.360 once that, once that button got pressed, I never went 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:44.040 back to predominant me in that way. And you've been 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:46.520 enjoying being a stuff as well, Yeah, because it came 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:47.959 out of her. So we get back to the house 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:50.400 and we started having sex and she's like, I just 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:52.120 want you to own me. I'm getting we're getting it in, 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:56.319 we're getting it, we get we're getting in heavy eye contacts, 0:13:56.679 --> 0:14:00.760 we're going in. I'm definitely controlling the situation. Five bitch, 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:05.680 you was yelling, I want you to own So that's 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:09.079 not it's devil dick to let you the first time 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:12.839 you're saying during sex, but the first time, the first 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:18.760 time you said it was and continues to be great. 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.960 That's right to make a podcast with them, you know, 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.800 I love that. Well, we're gonna talk more about relationship shit, 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:30.560 but I wanted to get into our vanilla ship. If 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:32.760 you guys are listening to this for the first time 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:35.680 our Vanilla Ships segment is sex in the news. We 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:37.720 have been away from the studio for quite some time, 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:42.720 so you guys definitely saw this circulating the blogs. Our 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:46.000 good friend who was on the pod Shan on her 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:49.520 Lovers and Friends podcast, had someone by the name of 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.720 watch Jazzy on and yet she talked about being super 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:55.000 submissive in all those things. But I wanted to play 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.080 a clip and I wanted to hear you, guys, is 0:14:57.560 --> 0:14:59.920 um response to it? I don't know, You're gonna play 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.200 and then I'll tell you when to cut it off. 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:07.840 This is regarding UM doing something with your partner that 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:09.440 you may or may not enjoy it. But this was 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:14.280 her answer to it. Anything goes for sure if you're 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.920 comfortable with the person. Because I'm doing sh it I 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:18.720 never did before. I'm just like, I would have never 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:20.720 done this, but you know what, I'm comfortable with this person, 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:25.000 and I feel safe to have an example. Are like 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:28.200 you have an example? Yeah that do you do it 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:30.080 for you or do you do it for them? I 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:31.920 do it for him because for me, I'm not at 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:33.600 a place where I like it. Yet I had we 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:37.080 had one successful time where I was like okay, you 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:41.600 know my butt creamed. It was like, oh, ship, like 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:44.200 it was like creaming. I don't know what that was, 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:46.440 but it was like it was weird. Yeah, I don't 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.720 know the science of that, in particular, because your butt 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:54.320 doesn't lubricate in that way it would you could shoot it. 0:15:54.320 --> 0:16:01.480 It was clear. Yeah, yeah, that's fast. She This is 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:03.040 also a two minute clips, so I didn't want to 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:04.880 play at all, but she pretty much says, I don't 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:07.240 enjoy anal sex because it hurts. It's not something that 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.200 I do, but I do it because he wants to 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.760 do it. And luckily you guys are in the sense 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:14.640 to where you guys agree. But that was one of 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:17.160 my things with my ex. As much as I enjoy pegging, 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.200 he was not going to do it, and I didn't. 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:22.320 I didn't truly want to do anything that I knew 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.720 he didn't like, And so I wanted to know with 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.560 you guys, if there is anything that maybe you enjoy 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.920 that you don't or vice versa, and how you guys 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.200 go about that conversation and do you think it's healthy 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:37.160 that she says she's doing something sexually with her partner 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:41.560 that she doesn't enjoy and that's painful for her. HM, well, 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:44.120 I think it's beautiful to have that mindset, to be 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:48.080 open enough to push yourself for your partner, and I 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:50.840 understand that. I saw some other clips from Jazzy and 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.600 it was it was I don't know if she would 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:55.960 call herself an actual sub. She definitely given the stuffy, 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.320 heavy sub, so I understand what that mindset like. That's 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:04.000 true submission, pushing yourself past your comfort zone for the 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.560 sake of pleasing your partners. I also wouldn't compare this 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:10.919 to like doing something you don't like, like one, it 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:14.480 doesn't sound forceful like at first even hearing you say it, 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.119 and even like reading the thing like the headline. That 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.680 was totally different to me. That was more like I'm 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:22.760 not like I don't love eating pussy, but I do 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:24.560 it for you. Like she's like, I'm not the point 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:26.639 where I like it yet because it's still probably uncomfortable. 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:29.520 She's still like getting loose, getting loos learning how to 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.879 do it like that didn't give what I thought, but 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:34.240 I'm sure there's people in the comments trashing her because 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:36.040 I want to I want to ask you then as 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.159 a sub and being submissed because I ain't go hold you. 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.840 I ain't doing it. I don't want to do I 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:45.119 know I am more of the doesn't want to She 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.760 literally said it's painful and it's not something she's ever done, 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:50.119 and she doesn't she's never done. Doesn't sound she doesn't 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:52.720 want to know. It sounds like she It sounds like 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:54.600 she does it for him. She wants to serve you, 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.720 she wants to see him, she doesn't want to do 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:58.680 anal sex that like, there's a difference there, and I 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:00.720 want to ask you then as a sub like the 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:04.359 difference in wanting to please him by doing whatever he 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:08.359 asked and in the same time doing something that you 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:12.040 genuinely don't like or that may be painful for you, 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.679 or that you may not ask forever because it's not 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:18.199 something you want. As far as like something that just 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:21.359 makes me uncomfortable. He's not the type to just push 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:25.840 me past my limit. Um, but even in if a 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.240 circumstance came up, I would I would push that limit 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:31.639 with him. Is that something that he really desired and 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:34.680 that's something that could bring us closer and bring pleasure. 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:39.240 Giving him pleasure gives me pleasure, And in that submission, 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:40.879 it's a part of it. It's a part of that 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:43.200 sacrifice and a part of that. That's what I heard. 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:46.000 I didn't hear anything about her. I really didn't take 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.000 that out the clip. I don't want to play the whole. 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:51.400 It just wasn't given. Like one, uncomfortable is a big 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:55.800 word to use. Someone's making you uncomfortable, and like that's 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:59.119 different from yeah, I don't know. I believe that she 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:01.280 wants to do it, Like I feel like the only 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:05.280 reason I had anal sex and granted I wanted it 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:07.480 to work, it didn't necessarily work. I got enough in 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:09.280 but he was probably the only partner I ever had 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:12.040 that really wanted it and I did it and yet 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:14.320 it hurt, but also like he was so turned on 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:16.159 and I knew it was gonna take me time. I 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.600 feel the same way, Like it wasn't like a complete 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:20.960 write off, you know what I mean. I think that 0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.920 we do confuse sometimes, and I think that's what's scary 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:27.200 about a clip like this is because people can misconstrue 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:29.440 like she's doing things she doesn't want to do for 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:32.720 him and put all that pressure on her where it's 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:34.760 just like, girl, I ain't sucking, ask you. I love 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:36.719 this Nigga, let me warm up to it right now. 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:38.040 It kind of hurts a little bit. That's kind of 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:40.960 actually how I took that. But also there's a lot 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:43.679 of context with her last subclip too, to where you 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:46.680 can see that it probably turns her on to do 0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:49.239 things like that for Niga. Yeah, I think also as 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:52.280 it just as a sub it's it's a it's very 0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:56.800 pleasing and very validating in a way to just please 0:19:56.840 --> 0:19:59.520