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Speaker 1: So what I found is people. It happens in men,

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Speaker 1: it happens in males, late forties, it happens in certainly

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Speaker 1: in fifties. But people at a certain age start to

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Speaker 1: wonder about their purpose. Let's say you've made some money.

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Speaker 1: You know where you are in your career, like your

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Speaker 1: kids are getting older. You're not needed for every costume

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Speaker 1: or drop off or pick up or bath or whatever

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Speaker 1: stage the kids are at. But like let's say they're teens,

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Speaker 1: then you start to think about what is your purpose.

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Speaker 1: It's not that easy to fill every hour in a day.

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Speaker 1: Like you could be somebody who goes and works out

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Speaker 1: a lot. Okay, is that an hour's at two hours

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Speaker 1: a day? You shop a lot, you do some charity,

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Speaker 1: you work, let's say you work eight hours a day.

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Speaker 1: But like you're getting older and you're in your fifties,

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Speaker 1: and you're wondering, like, is this it is? This is

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Speaker 1: my big thing? This is my life, like my kids

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Speaker 1: were my life. But now I'm going to be an

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Speaker 1: empty nester soon. So I'm finding and also in the

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Speaker 1: same way that a woman every time she gets her period,

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Speaker 1: she gets PMS and she's miserable, and she like thinks

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Speaker 1: it's the first time it's ever happened, and she thinks

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Speaker 1: she's the only one going through it. In the same way,

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Speaker 1: this purposeless feeling that people get in their forties and fifties,

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Speaker 1: it's like adjacent to a midlife crisis. It's something that

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Speaker 1: people don't recognize as what it is because it's sort

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Speaker 1: of like we don't recognize our age. We might still

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Speaker 1: look at someone twenty years younger than us, like a

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Speaker 1: man or something, and think that they are so attractive

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Speaker 1: and they could be our type. When they're twenty years

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Speaker 1: younger than us, we're not there anymore. We're in our

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Speaker 1: fifties now. The same way that you know, you still

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Speaker 1: have the same eyeballs. We still think that, like we're

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Speaker 1: supposed to have the same drive and hunger and passion

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Speaker 1: and value and relevance and all that stuff in the workforce.

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Speaker 1: And the truth is we're older, we're not expired. But

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Speaker 1: it's just not the same. Not everyone is working until

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Speaker 1: they're ninety, and not everyone's reinventing themselves like Martha Stewart

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Speaker 1: at eighty, you know, And and it's a thing that

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Speaker 1: has to be resolved. It's difficult to find purpose I

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Speaker 1: find that it's a thing that many people are looking for,

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Speaker 1: and it's like some people they don't want to just

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Speaker 1: check the boxes, like Okay, I'm going over there and

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Speaker 1: I'm doing charity, but like I don't feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: really like digging into it or I'm investing in different things.

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Speaker 1: And yes, I'm making money, but I don't feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm responsible for it. I'm not building something. And every

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Speaker 1: really successful wealthy person that I've ever had on this

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Speaker 1: podcast is not doing what they're doing or wasn't doing

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Speaker 1: what they're doing, like Cheryl Samberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, like really

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Speaker 1: successful people Mark Cuban, Gary Vee, Dana White. They don't

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Speaker 1: do it for the money grant cardone. They're doing it

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Speaker 1: because it's who they are. It's like imprinted in them

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Speaker 1: in their DNA, Like they want to build something, they

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Speaker 1: love the idea, they want to create something, they want

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Speaker 1: to add value to something, and that's who I am.

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Speaker 1: Money is a great scorecard, you know, titles for some

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Speaker 1: people are a great scorecard, promotions, being the best salesperson

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Speaker 1: of the year, whatever it is. But like people who

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Speaker 1: are true success stories, they do it because of the

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Speaker 1: passion and the drive, and that's the thing that happens

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Speaker 1: when people are in their forties and fifties. It's that purpose.

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Speaker 1: It's that like every day somebody needs you for something.

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Speaker 1: You are integral to some process. You are the hub,

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Speaker 1: the centerpiece of whatever this thing is, and you have

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Speaker 1: to try to find it and back to authenticity, which

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Speaker 1: I talk about all the time. It really has to

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Speaker 1: be authentic. So I had left Reality TV, was getting

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Speaker 1: paid several million dollars for a couple months of work.

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Speaker 1: It was not fun. I didn't like it. It was toxic,

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Speaker 1: but I mean it was some fun. I laughed a little,

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Speaker 1: but I left and I sold my apartment in the

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Speaker 1: city for a lot of money. And I thought like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I make money, I have money, I have a podcast,

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Speaker 1: I do well, I do appearances, et cetera. But something

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Speaker 1: in my body probably just was working towards something else,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't look for anything. I didn't say I

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Speaker 1: have to find something. I walked away from HSN, which

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Speaker 1: was also a lot of money. I walked away from

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Speaker 1: a deal with Mark Burnett, which was also a lot

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Speaker 1: of money. I was kind of like, I was kind

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Speaker 1: of like clearing out my closet. I didn't do it intentionally,

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Speaker 1: but I had known that I had become successful on

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Speaker 1: some level and that I was going to start to

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Speaker 1: do things only that I really liked. It wasn't like

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Speaker 1: a mantra yet, it was sort of just like happening,

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Speaker 1: like this doesn't feel good, doesn't feel good to be

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Speaker 1: on the housewise, it doesn't feel good to be on HSN.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't feel good to be in this partnership with

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Speaker 1: Mark Burnett's team, like it just didn't feel good. So

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Speaker 1: I would slowly chip away at it and walk away

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Speaker 1: from different things for my own reasons, and an apparel

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Speaker 1: deal with a big, big, like you know, almost billionaire

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Speaker 1: apparel guy like just I kept doing that, and that

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Speaker 1: seemed like, Okay, I'm gonna have to scale back. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have to do less, buy less, travel less, like

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Speaker 1: you know, have fewer homes whatever. Because I was being

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Speaker 1: true to myself. What ended up happening was I sat

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Speaker 1: down in front of my phone, screwing around with makeup

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Speaker 1: and just playing and talking about things that are actually

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Speaker 1: interesting to me because I had the creative freedom, because

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Speaker 1: I wasn't obligated and tethered to things that I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to be doing, and so my best creative ideas

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Speaker 1: always come when I'm rested, when I'm free. The best

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Speaker 1: ideas don't come when you're in a grind in a

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Speaker 1: think tank stressing out. The best ideas come when you allow,

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Speaker 1: when you are free, when you're walking, when you're breathing,

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Speaker 1: when you're sleeping, when you are free, because that's when

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Speaker 1: your brain is not so crowded. And so I just

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Speaker 1: was playing around and my current social media business and

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Speaker 1: my mingle mocktails business, which is a result of my

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Speaker 1: social media business, and my points business point me, which

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Speaker 1: is a business that allows you to utilize your points.

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Speaker 1: And my salad dressings and my popcorn and my coffee

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Speaker 1: and my shape where all of these things are and

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Speaker 1: my Forever Young Wine are more, way, way more lucrative

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Speaker 1: than my top day when I was doing Skinny Girl

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Speaker 1: and when I was on the Housewives making millions of dollars.

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Speaker 1: But it's because I just I didn't want to just

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Speaker 1: do nothing, and I was being authentic and true to

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Speaker 1: myself just and this podcast it's become more and more

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Speaker 1: successful because I also stopped having on guests that I

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Speaker 1: just thought would be like big ticket items that would

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Speaker 1: quote unquote rate versus like me just talking about whatever

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about to you, whatever's on my mind.

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Speaker 1: So like the freedom of being true to yourself. Just

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Speaker 1: talking to Chris Appleton and asking him a question that

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Speaker 1: I did not know was a question no one had

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Speaker 1: ever asked him about being a gay man who's in

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Speaker 1: a marriage to a woman, Like I'm just being more

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Speaker 1: true to myself. And as we get to an age

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Speaker 1: where we're looking for purpose, you can't really do it

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Speaker 1: from the outside in. And as you try to create

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Speaker 1: businesses and ideas, you can't do it from the outside in.

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Speaker 1: It's got to be from the inside out. Like everything

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Speaker 1: comes from the inside out. It's not. And every bad

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Speaker 1: idea I've ever had, or bad business I've ever entered

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Speaker 1: into is from the outside And you're supposed to want

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Speaker 1: to do a talk show. It's what everybody wants, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's what the big money is. And you're gonna make

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Speaker 1: this kind of money, and this so much Allen's making,

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Speaker 1: and this how much Rachel Ray's making. But in my body,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to do it. I didn't like the

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Speaker 1: way it feels. I don't like a lot of traffic.

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Speaker 1: I don't like a lot of people. I don't like

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Speaker 1: having to get in a car and go somewhere and

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Speaker 1: be in hair and makeup with two hundred employees. I

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Speaker 1: don't like infrastructure like that, So that makes sense that

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Speaker 1: that didn't work. Or when I wanted to do a

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Speaker 1: certain beverage and my partner said, my partner, Arizona Beverage said,

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Speaker 1: you have to wait a year or two to do

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Speaker 1: what you want to do, but this is what we

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Speaker 1: think you should do because the market tells us that

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Speaker 1: Sparkling Ice beverage is making so much money that we

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Speaker 1: need to have our own version of it, Skinny Girl Sparklers.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, but that's already there. Sparkling Ice is there,

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Speaker 1: and by the time you get ours to market, it's

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Speaker 1: going to be too late, which is exact actly what happened.

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Speaker 1: And like listening to them listening to the outside or

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Speaker 1: going and selling skinny ral cocktails and then be my

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Speaker 1: people who bought me telling me that like Target wants

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Speaker 1: every single flavor, they want twenty skews and pinakolada and

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Speaker 1: pumping out innovation when in the inside of me knows

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Speaker 1: that you always go one thing at a time, because

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Speaker 1: when I was making all this money doing pesh minas

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Speaker 1: years ago, you know, the market told me we gotta

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Speaker 1: do panchas, we gotta do pajamas, and I made no

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Speaker 1: money on all that. It actually pulled the main thing down.

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Speaker 1: To stick to the shawls, even if you're making a

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Speaker 1: lot less money on them because they've become a lot

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Speaker 1: less popular. You're not pulling yourself down by all of

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Speaker 1: those other things that everyone else is telling you you'd

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Speaker 1: need to do. Ahsn everyone wants to do eight percent.

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Speaker 1: Everybody wants that amazing coveted spot they're giving you two

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Speaker 1: times a day where you could sell millions of dollars

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Speaker 1: in merchandise. But every time I would get in front

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Speaker 1: of the camera on the lights no disrespect to herscent,

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Speaker 1: I felt my soul crushing. I don't like hi, and

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Speaker 1: let's sell this today. And it's too much being forced

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Speaker 1: myself for two hours and like you're supposed to pretend

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Speaker 1: that every single thing is a second coming when you

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Speaker 1: can't be, Like this sort of sucks. It's fine, you know.

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Speaker 1: And the most authentic thing I ever did on HSM

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Speaker 1: was one day refused to sell the bathing suits because

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Speaker 1: they were trash, and my partners were like forcing me

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Speaker 1: to sell them like they're trash. I'm not selling these

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Speaker 1: people trash. So somehow I found my way into being

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Speaker 1: able to talk about what I want to talk about authentically.

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Speaker 1: That Chanell fucking dissed me that the four seasons sold

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Speaker 1: me a disgusting stirfry that as a matter of fact,

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Speaker 1: the four season should be crediting back the money that

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Speaker 1: we paid for that stuffry. But anyway, you know, like

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Speaker 1: being able to just be honest. Years ago, I moved

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Speaker 1: to LA and I wanted to be an actress because

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Speaker 1: I thought I wanted to be an actress because it

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Speaker 1: seemed like what I was supposed to want. But every

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Speaker 1: time I would go on an audition, I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: I feel so trapped. I have to be somebody else.

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Speaker 1: How could I be myself? This was like when was

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Speaker 1: this was in the eighties in the nineties, Like, how

201
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Speaker 1: could I be myself? How can I make money being myself?

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Speaker 1: It's not a host because that's it also scripted. There

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Speaker 1: was no reality TV like there is now, so like

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Speaker 1: I was foreshadowing what my life would be. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I what I feel inside is that I want to

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Speaker 1: be myself. How do I be myself? I'm entertaining, I'm funny,

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Speaker 1: How do I just be myself? The road met me

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Speaker 1: where I was at because acting was not being myself.

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Speaker 1: Acting was acting, but it seemed like being yourself because

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Speaker 1: your mouth is moving and words are coming out. So

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Speaker 1: I guess what I'm saying is you find your purpose

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Speaker 1: from your passion and what's going on on the inside out.

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Speaker 1: And I think we have to be really true to

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Speaker 1: ourselves and give ourselves grace and give ourselves patience. And

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Speaker 1: if you're in the wrong thing, something that feels soul crushing,

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Speaker 1: it's like being in the wrong relationship. Won't you won't

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Speaker 1: find the right thing because your bandwidth is crowded with

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Speaker 1: the wrong thing. And it takes courage to walk away

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Speaker 1: from multiple millions of dollars from HSN, from a television show,

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Speaker 1: and from a podcast. And it takes courage to walk

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Speaker 1: away from a job where you are four one k.

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Speaker 1: These things take courage. It takes courage to walk out

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Speaker 1: of a relationship that isn't bad. It just maybe like

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Speaker 1: little by little crushing your soul every day, or maybe

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Speaker 1: like you don't know, yes, so it's no and that's

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Speaker 1: how it's been with these businesses, and that's what happens

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Speaker 1: with purpose. You've got to clear the decks for the

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Speaker 1: good to come in. You don't realize it. I was

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Speaker 1: in a relationship that was very good, but it wasn't

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Speaker 1: the right relationship for me, and I felt it because

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Speaker 1: I didn't know yes, I didn't know no, But I

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Speaker 1: just I've done this many times, and maybe maybe that

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Speaker 1: means I'm never supposed to be in a relationship. It doesn't,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not going to be in a relationship that's wrong.

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Speaker 1: Just as a seat filler, we do it or we don't.

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Speaker 1: So if you're in something that feels bad and you

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Speaker 1: can afford to walk away from it, you probably should

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Speaker 1: walk away from it because you will jump and you

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Speaker 1: will fly. Walked to the after, walked to the after,