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Speaker 1: Topper round.

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Speaker 2: Hey Smith, Hey, it's Katy Perry, wishing you a very

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Speaker 2: merry Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Telvis Duran in the Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: We always love it when Dan Harris stops by to

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Speaker 1: say hi, He's one of our top five I know. Yeah, Well,

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Speaker 1: who are the other four?

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Speaker 4: Michael B, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Fallon, Sharon and uh and

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Speaker 4: uh Jason Derulo.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's quite a list. Yeah, it really drops off

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Speaker 3: at number five.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say you're number five. You could be number two.

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Speaker 3: We don't know, Okay, Okay, I was just assuming number five.

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Speaker 3: Maybe that's negative self talk, which is a thing we

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Speaker 3: should talk about.

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Speaker 1: Okay, add that to the list of things when you

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Speaker 1: talk about with Dan Harris. Of course, before we move further,

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Speaker 1: go to Dan Harris dot com for all things Dan Harris.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna hear something during our conversation with Dan and

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Speaker 1: you're gonna want to You're gonna want to go down

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Speaker 1: the rabbit hole with this, because he is He's always

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Speaker 1: fascinatingly finding ways to make us think about improving our lives.

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Speaker 1: And it's so easy just to think about meditation. It's

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Speaker 1: so easy to take a moment to deal with stress

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Speaker 1: and to take care of ourselves, and you always remind

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Speaker 1: us how to do that. Thank you.

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Speaker 3: I was I was actually chatting with Danielle before we

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Speaker 3: started this, and she had that kind of scared look

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Speaker 3: on her face, like are you going to try to

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Speaker 3: get me to meditate again? And I just want to say,

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Speaker 3: I have many tips that don't involve meditation, and so

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Speaker 3: you don't have to you don't have to be worried. Danielle.

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Speaker 2: I hear for you because we were saying how we're

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Speaker 2: leaving for Miami and me because I have kids and whatever,

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Speaker 2: I had to work up until now preparing for the

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Speaker 2: holidays so that I could go because when we get

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Speaker 2: back it be right before Christmas. So he's like, I

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Speaker 2: got you, We're gonna And then I looked at him

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Speaker 2: and I go, I'm not meditating, Dan, and he's like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I got something else.

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Speaker 3: It's medication.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, vacation either, Dan, let be there one day. Though

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Speaker 1: I need guided Medication twenty five for me exactly.

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Speaker 3: You're actually making me think this is a whole new

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Speaker 3: business line for me, guided medication.

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Speaker 4: I think it is this stand yell up so well though,

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Speaker 4: because the thing that's to calm her and bring her

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Speaker 4: some relaxation, stresses her out.

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Speaker 1: Yes, well, today is a good example of why we

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Speaker 1: need to take a moment. As they say, we've had

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Speaker 1: a crazy show today, a lot of moving parts, people

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Speaker 1: we didn't invite or dropping by to say hi. But

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Speaker 1: they're all important people in our lives that we need

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Speaker 1: to say hi to. And it just kind of went

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Speaker 1: off the rails a little bit. Okay, well it's done.

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Speaker 1: It's time to move on and try to get back

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Speaker 1: to a point where we can focus and relax. So

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Speaker 1: holiday stress, let's talk about it.

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Speaker 3: Well, let's focus on Danielle for a second, because she

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Speaker 3: seems like the ultimate example of holiday stress. Let's just

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Speaker 3: describe what is freaking you out right now.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so just not getting it all done in time,

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Speaker 2: like there's so much left to do. And actually Nate

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Speaker 2: and I were just talking about this that we both

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Speaker 2: have this huge list that I have to get done today.

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Speaker 2: If it's not done today, it's not going to get

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Speaker 2: done because when I get back it's the day before

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Speaker 2: the holidays. So that in my head is like, oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh, oh my gosh, I gotta get it done.

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Speaker 1: I gotta get it done.

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Speaker 2: So it's just weighs on your mind.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I totally hear you, and I think you're speaking

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Speaker 3: for millions and millions of people. So I've done some

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Speaker 3: research into evidence based ways to manage holiday overwhelmed. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'll drop a list on you and you can just

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Speaker 3: pick what works. First of all, you mentioned you've made

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Speaker 3: a list. To do lists. There's a lot of research

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Speaker 3: to show that to do lists reduce that sense of overwhelm,

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Speaker 3: even if they're long. It just gives you some boundaries

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Speaker 3: around what actually needs to be done.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't live without lists.

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Speaker 3: Yes. Another thing is to schedule downtime for yourself. Put

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Speaker 3: it on your calendar. And you're laughing because you don't

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Speaker 3: do this.

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Speaker 2: Out of when do you want us to do that?

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Speaker 1: Okay, she can't even find time to put it on

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Speaker 1: her list.

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Speaker 3: She actually couldn't talk to me backstage because she was

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Speaker 3: too busy. Another thing you can do is, this is

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Speaker 3: a radical idea, say no, sometimes you don't have to

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Speaker 3: do everything I tried.

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Speaker 1: Nate said I couldn't this time. Well, may I go

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Speaker 1: ahead and help out here? Yeah, So we're hopping on

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Speaker 1: a plane on the way to Miami, We've got tonight

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Speaker 1: Friday night. Yeah to Saturday night. We have jingle Ball

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Speaker 1: and we're coming home Sunday. You're going to have moments

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Speaker 1: where you really have nothing to do. I will You're

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Speaker 1: about to be forced to sit down, all right and

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Speaker 1: have a cocktail or go shopping. Let's go shopping and

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Speaker 1: have lunch.

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Speaker 2: I know it's not going to be when I'm on

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Speaker 2: the plane because I'm sitting next to someone who the

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Speaker 2: whole time goes, are you awake?

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Speaker 1: Are you awake? Come on, Dan, fly next to me

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Speaker 1: on a plane. Will you will kick the door open

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Speaker 1: and jump out.

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Speaker 4: It's a sleeping He's like, hey, your mouth is open.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it takes pictures.

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Speaker 2: I did tell them that we are very excited that once.

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Speaker 2: So that's the thing. Once you get to the destination,

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Speaker 2: I feel like you do relax and you enjoy yourself

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Speaker 2: and we have a lot of fun things to do.

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Speaker 2: But it's just getting there and the planning and what

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Speaker 2: has to happen to get me there.

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Speaker 1: But the issue here is, while you're there in paradise

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Speaker 1: eighty degree weather, if you start thinking thinking about what

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Speaker 1: you're not doing up in New York, You're gonna drive

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Speaker 1: yourself insane and not give you yourself that time up

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Speaker 1: sometimes turning it. How do you turn off your brain? Yeah, Dan,

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Speaker 1: help me?

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Speaker 3: Okay, so turning off your brain is too tall in

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Speaker 3: order the brain. We get frustrated and feel like we're

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Speaker 3: failing if we try to turn off the brain and

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Speaker 3: then it doesn't work. Every eight year old tries to

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Speaker 3: stop thinking and realize I can't do this. What you

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Speaker 3: can do is reset the nervous system to relax yourself.

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Speaker 3: And so one great quick way to do this is

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Speaker 3: deep breathing, and it does Nobody even has to know

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Speaker 3: you're doing it. There's a technique called straw breathing where

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Speaker 3: you take a really deep, deep, deep in breath and

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Speaker 3: then you exhale as if you're blowing through a straw,

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Speaker 3: So your lips are slightly person and you want the

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Speaker 3: exhale to be three or four times longer than the inhale.

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Speaker 3: If you do this two or three times in a row,

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Speaker 3: it will reset your nervous system. It doesn't make your

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Speaker 3: problems go away, but it makes your ability to tackle

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Speaker 3: those problems just a little bit easier.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I would say go invest in a straw.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, how's the budget on the show these

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Speaker 3: days good.

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Speaker 4: No, I'm totally with you. I feel like breathing is

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Speaker 4: one of the best things that you can do for yourself.

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Speaker 4: And I also think it's a lot easier said than done.

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Speaker 4: But when you can't do something about the thing you're

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Speaker 4: worrying about in the moment, you gotta just focus on

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Speaker 4: the moment. You're not going to be able to fix

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Speaker 4: all this stuff for Christmas while we're in Miami, so

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Speaker 4: enjoy my ass.

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Speaker 2: So I said, once I'm there, I'll be fine. It's

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Speaker 2: like I just got to get there.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I know who my ally in the

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Speaker 3: room is.

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Speaker 1: Yes, for sure, and I would question that as well.

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Speaker 1: It's scary. Now I've never spoken this out loud, but.

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Speaker 3: This guy's about to get cancer.

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Speaker 1: I do and you all should do this too.

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Speaker 5: Is let's say you're having a stressful day and it's chaotic,

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Speaker 5: and you know there's even more chaos ahead.

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Speaker 1: When you take a.

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Speaker 5: Shower, just stand there and just let the water just drip,

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Speaker 5: like like you know, does the shower the rain water

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Speaker 5: come over your over your head down?

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Speaker 1: Where are you looking for? His cascade?

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Speaker 5: Cascade? And just stand there, lifeless, just breathing slowly. That's

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Speaker 5: what I do, and I gotta say it works for you.

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Speaker 1: Know, He's right, that's your moment in the shower. Is

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Speaker 1: your moment alone? Yes? Yeah, And I mean you have

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Speaker 1: a checklist of things you need to get done in

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Speaker 1: the shower, but also you can just stop and go okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: five minutes. Wow.

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Speaker 3: You know it really in my soul hurts me to

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Speaker 3: say that it's scary, is correct?

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Speaker 1: I agree with yes, this one time.

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Speaker 3: Stop clock is right twice a day, so I've been

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Speaker 3: absolutely taking just one little moment.

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Speaker 1: It feels.

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Speaker 3: The dialogue in Danielle's head is that I have no time.

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Speaker 3: I have no time, I have no time. I'm anxious,

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Speaker 3: I'm projecting. I'm projecting forward into the future. This is

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Speaker 3: gonna not work. This is gonna and I understand that

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Speaker 3: from the inside because that's my dialogue too. But there

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Speaker 3: are these little vacations that are available to like in

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Speaker 3: the shower, Like when you're on the plane, right before

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Speaker 3: Elvis takes a picture of you drooling.

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Speaker 1: Are your way? What are you thinking about? Penny free thoughts? Exactly? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so give it, give us some more.

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Speaker 3: Okay, here's another little hack that's based in evidence. If

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Speaker 3: in a moment of stress, you're stuck in traffic, or

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Speaker 3: you're waiting on a long line at the airport, or

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Speaker 3: you're in a conversation with somebody whose name I won't mention,

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Speaker 3: but his initials are scary, you're you and you don't

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Speaker 3: want to be there. Putting a half smile on your

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Speaker 3: face literally sends the message to your brain that you're

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Speaker 3: in a better mood than you're actually in, and then

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Speaker 3: your mood improves. So just a little half smile on

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Speaker 3: your face or a full smile if you want, but

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Speaker 3: that mona Lisa smile does send the signal to your

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Speaker 3: brain that you're okay.

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Speaker 1: I have heard this, and you have seen evidence that

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Speaker 1: it is true.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I mean there is. My whole job is to

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Speaker 3: look at the research and curate actionable things that people

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Speaker 3: can do.

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Speaker 1: By the way, if you're just turning us on, the

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Speaker 1: author of number one New York Times best selling book

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Speaker 1: Ten Percent Happier, Dan Harris, very good friend of ours

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Speaker 1: is here, and we must say joking aside, you have

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Speaker 1: brought us so many concepts to consider, in so many

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Speaker 1: suggestions to moll Over, you have changed our lives thank

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Speaker 1: you have, thank you you have. Dan Harris dot com.

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Speaker 1: Please go there and check him out. He doesn't want

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Speaker 1: me to tell you where to go. He didn't want

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Speaker 1: to promote anything. He may want to tell you where

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Speaker 1: to go.

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Speaker 4: But you know, Dan, actually you've You've helped me to

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Speaker 4: re think a lot of things because the last time

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Speaker 4: you were here, one of the things you said was

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Speaker 4: the remedy for anxiety is action. So now if I'm

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Speaker 4: ever feeling a little antsy about anything, the first thing

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Speaker 4: I think about is can I do something about this.

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Speaker 4: If the answers yes, you do it. And if the

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Speaker 4: answer is no, I try to let it go.

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Speaker 3: They can't do anything about it. It's so so smart

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Speaker 3: what you're saying, and you said it okay.

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Speaker 1: Well he's like, I'm a you see what you're doing.

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Speaker 5: Dan.

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Speaker 3: I stole this from a guy named the Dallar Lava,

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Speaker 3: who basically says that if you have a problem and

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Speaker 3: there's something you can do about it, great, do something.

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Speaker 3: There's nothing you can do about it, great, let it go.

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Speaker 3: And this is this is basically a version of the

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Speaker 3: serenity prayer. Can you move through life with? And I

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Speaker 3: have a hard time actually doing this in my life

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Speaker 3: because like Danielle, I'm constitutionally anxious. But if I can

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Speaker 3: remember to apply this principle, it makes a huge difference totally.

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Speaker 4: And sometimes even if the action at least for me,

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Speaker 4: if I can't do something about it, I'll go for

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Speaker 4: a walk and that at the very least helps me feel.

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Speaker 3: So therefore you're doing something about it, yeah, yes, or

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Speaker 3: actually be useful to somebody in your world. Yes, that

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Speaker 3: is that is the secret commune.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: I think I think about this all the time, that

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Speaker 3: there's so many problems facing the species, but there's this

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Speaker 3: one piece of really good news, which is that if

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Speaker 3: you do a good thing for somebody else, you feel better.

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Speaker 3: That feature in the human operating system. That's how we

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Speaker 3: that's how if there's salvation on offer, it's through that.

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Speaker 1: Hey, you know what we can do right now? As

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Speaker 1: you listen to us speak with Dan Harrison, go back

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Speaker 1: and forth and with these concepts in what all you're

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Speaker 1: sitting in traffic. A lot of times when you're sitting

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Speaker 1: in traffic, you start to boil. You're like, these people,

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Speaker 1: just get out of the way. This is actually a

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Speaker 1: moment you cannot control because you have to get to

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Speaker 1: point B, and you have to sit in traffic to

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Speaker 1: get there. You may be a little late. Nothing you

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Speaker 1: can do about it. This is a time you could

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Speaker 1: be just going God. You know, I'm kind of thankful

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Speaker 1: I've got traffic right now. In that a weird concept,

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Speaker 1: being thankful for that pain of the as traffic, it's

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Speaker 1: actually doing you a favor you don't even know it.

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Speaker 3: Being thankful that you're alive and that you got out

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Speaker 3: of bed that morning. I mean, I know that sounds

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Speaker 3: really basic, but this being a live thing is short

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Speaker 3: and we don't know when it's gonna end. So you're

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Speaker 3: lucky in some way to be in traffic. And I'll

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Speaker 3: throw in something else. There's a great meditation teacher named

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Speaker 3: Sharon Salzburg who often says, when you're stuck in traffic,

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Speaker 3: try to consider you are the traffic. You are part

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Speaker 3: of all of this. You're not separate from the world

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Speaker 3: looking out at it fretfully and critically. You are in it.

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Speaker 3: You are nature, You are traffic. And I love to

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Speaker 3: think about that.

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Speaker 1: Interesting that. Yeah, all right, so Dan Harris is here.

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Speaker 1: We gotta take a second and then go do something

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Speaker 1: that we do when we take a second, but we'll

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Speaker 1: come back. Let's look forward. Let's look forward to the

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Speaker 1: new year. And a lot of people say, well, it's

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Speaker 1: just a calendar shift to another month, December to January. Well,

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Speaker 1: a lot of people use that switching moment as a

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Speaker 1: moment to rethink, reset, control, all delete, whatever, you know,

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Speaker 1: whatever you do, let's talk about that New Year's resolutions.

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Speaker 1: If you have to call him that, I hate that word,

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Speaker 1: but we'll go there. Also, you want to play game, Yes,

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Speaker 1: what are we play him? We're gonna play back with

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Speaker 1: Dan Harris. Have you ever played games with us before? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I have terrible ass the best family feud partner.

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Speaker 3: It did feel like deliberate sabotage.

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Speaker 1: Exactly the team he's not on, that's the problem. That'd

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Speaker 1: be nice, all right, more than Dan Harris. After this.

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Speaker 2: Center Holly went for Christmas this year is a fan

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Speaker 2: because I love the way it feels like me when

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Speaker 2: I go to sleep.

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Speaker 3: Dear Emily, here's your fan and here's Santa stomping on

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Speaker 3: it with his big black boots.

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Speaker 1: I hope you never fall asleep.

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Speaker 3: Love Santa, Merry Christmas.

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Speaker 1: The hall remain for you.

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Speaker 2: Run from Elvister Rand in the morning, show