WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: Cool Zone 2055: After the Battle 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:11.320 Cool Zone Media Bronto sours, Bronto sores, Bronto sores. Hello 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:13.399 and welcome to cool Zone Media book Club, the only 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:15.000 book club where you don't have to do the reading 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:17.799 because I do it for you. I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy. 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:23.079 And if you couldn't tell by the title or the intro, 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:26.080 or just the fact that this is what I've been 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:30.000 doing for several months now, it's a Dinah Wars episode. 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:33.320 A Dinah Wars episode of book club, imagine that, which 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:38.760 means that we have for you a podcast from the future. 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.640 That's right. This is a podcast I recorded in the 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:44.400 year twenty fifty five and then sent back to myself, 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:47.280 which was nice of me to give me this heads up, 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:50.960 to give all of you this heads up. And so 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:58.840 without further ado, here's an episode Hello and welcome to 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:02.360 Cool Zone twenty fifty five, how to Survive the Dinoh Wars. 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:05.040 I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy, and this week we are 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:09.160 continuing to relay the last podcast script sent to us 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:12.920 by our fearless correspondent Mix bunny Face Murder And if 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:16.200 you're spelling that out, that's just the bunny face emoji 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:20.240 and then the dagger emoji who is currently trapped behind 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:25.520 the Iron curtain on the Iberian Peninsula. Although it goes 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:29.360 without saying, I'm going to say it anyway. The only 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:32.280 way that mixed Bunnyface and the rest of the millions 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.559 of people in Catalonia are going to survive the year 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:38.039 is if we are able to fight our way to 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:42.720 them and distract the Iberian failings. I know everyone thinks 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:46.800 we've got our own problems here wherever here is, and 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:50.040 you're right, but we cannot fight this war as a 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:55.360 series of localized skirmishes. The revolution will be worldwide or 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:58.840 it will fail. We've made it this far because of 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:02.560 international Soliday already in coordination, and it will be exactly 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.720 those two things, plus bravery, that will see us through 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:08.880 and into the world. We know that we can make 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:14.080 a world in which many worlds are possible, an internationalist world, 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:19.119 an anti capitalist world, an anti authoritarian world. We've made 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:23.320 it this far, and we've got to keep pushing. And 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:26.600 I know you know all of that already. I know 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.960 you're already working, you're already putting your queer shoulder to 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:32.520 the wheel. I just want you to know that I'm 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:35.400 proud of you. I'm proud of us, and we've got 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:40.800 to keep going. Whoever you are, dear listener, you have 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:43.800 got to keep going even though you don't feel like 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:47.000 you're useful to the revolution right now, write this moment. 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:50.680 The fascist death machine wants you dead and we don't 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:55.240 want to let it win. Stay alive. If not for today, 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:59.080 then for tomorrow you will have your chance to be useful. 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:03.600 And look, there are thousands of ways to be useful. 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:07.520 The revolution needs bookkeepers and line cooks, and it needs 0:03:07.560 --> 0:03:11.919 singers and metalworkers and project managers and engineers and hackers. 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:19.160 It needs party planners and historians. It also needs you know, fighters, 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:23.400 and it needs trained Dino writers. You know where I'm 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:26.440 going to take this. If you want to become one 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:30.320 of the many, the proud, the Dino writers, there is 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:32.840 no better way to get started than to sign up 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:37.840 with Cool Zone Media's biggest and most generous sponsor, Dino Cadence. 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:42.880 That's right, Dino Cadence. From dance troop to elite fighting school. 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:46.720 Dino Cadence is a living example of how all of 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.880 us can turn our talents towards the struggle. So apply 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:54.480 today and then tomorrow you can ride a Dino into 0:03:54.560 --> 0:04:00.920 war banner streaming battalion screaming. Admission is free, but spots 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:05.960 are limited, So apply to Dino Cadence today. And now 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:09.960 here's from Mixed bunny Face Murder, who where we left 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:13.640 them last time, had scarcely survived in ambush that saw 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:20.120 nearly all of a unit of mighty Dreadnoughts defeated, and 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:22.159 made it most of the way back towards the main 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:25.360 camp before I collapsed in exhaustion and the world drifted 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:28.480 out of focus and my mind drifted out of focus. 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:33.839 They're awake, I heard in Cotalan. My first thought was, Hey, 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:35.960 that's cool that my cottalan is good enough that I 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:39.320 can understand it when I'm half conscious. My second thought 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:42.520 was there is a very handsome woman looking down at me. 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:46.280 My third thought was I appear to be in some 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:50.880 kind of hospital tent. Only then did awareness truly come 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:55.280 over me. My brain refused to incorporate the recent trauma, though, 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.800 and it was just a fuzzy oh that didn't go well. 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.800 It's strange being a journalist, because I knew that soon 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:05.640 enough I would be writing what happened. I have to 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:09.919 not like because it's my job, but because you know, 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:13.680 it's what I do. It's how I contribute to this 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:17.799 terrifying and glorious world. I let people know what's happening 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:21.239 in my strange corner of that world. I tell people 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:24.160 how I'm feeling in case they can resonate with it. 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:29.440 I entertain people, I hope, which has value to forgive 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.719 me these introspective asides. They're only going to get worse. 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:36.000 I am particularly aware of my mortality. Just now, for 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:40.560 some odd reason, I woke up in a hospital tent 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:42.919 in the main camp, and that first face I'd seen 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:47.599 was doctor Abodi, a surgeon from Ohio. Good news, she said, 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:50.480 in an accent that felt like home. I'm not going 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:54.000 to cut off any of your limbs. So I laughed 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:56.840 until it hurt, which didn't take long. Once I moved 0:05:56.839 --> 0:06:00.839 my arm by accident, pain coursed through me and I 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:05.400 felt better. Look I am a simple creature. Okay, how 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:09.960 bad is it? I asked? Your wounds are the war either? 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:16.279 I suppose? Well, they're setbacks, for sure, she said. In 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:20.000 both cases, you're not going to be walking for a while. 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.440 Then you're going to be walking on crutches for a while. 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.920 If I had to guess, you're a cane user now 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:28.240 long term, at least some days, for the rest of 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:31.400 your life, but I suspect you'll regain full use of 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.600 your arm. She reached up and scratched the shaved half 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:39.280 of her head reflexively in thought. As for the war, 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.960 they don't tell us civilians too much, but I'll tell 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:45.599 you that it is not looking good, not here, not 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.919 for us. We're not cut off, not yet. There's still 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:55.360 soldiers and materiel flowing in from Barcelona. But Barcelona itself 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:58.719 is cut off unless a new front opens up for 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:04.440 the Iberian Phalanx. It's kind of just a matter of time. Unspoken, 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:09.279 we both knew what she meant by that. Maybe, dear listener, 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:11.960 with all the horrors of this war, the fall of 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:15.680 Valencia in twenty fifty three went unremarked upon in your circles. 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:18.600 In different times, the exodus would have been one of 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:21.920 the most important events in human history. When a million 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:27.360 people died, helping a million people flee by boats, When 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:31.080 horrid Nazi sea monsters rip people down into the depths 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:35.080 of the Mediterranean, when Spanish soldiers and angry workers and 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:39.120 art militias. Do you remember the art militias fighting as 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:41.920 a form of expressionist art, the field of battle as 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:45.360 the canvas when all these people with different politics fought 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:49.240 alongside one another against the iron tide of fascism, but 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:53.360 collapsed under its weight. It was the stand of Valencia 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.840 that brought me to Iberia in the first place, to 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:59.520 interview refugees who'd made their way to Barcelona. Many of 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:03.440 those people have since joined up. Many of those people 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:08.120 have since died in the fighting. Everyone who didn't make 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.120 it out of Valencia was sucked into the Iberian Phalanx's 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:15.840 war machine as conscript labor, as lab rats, as dead 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:19.800 bodies to resurrect as literal food for the terrors they 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:23.720 were designing and growing in the nightmare labs in Madrid. 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:29.560 Imagine having the people eaten by Nazi sea monsters as 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:34.439 the lucky ones. The twenty first century has given total 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:38.560 war a new definition. It's not that if we don't fight, 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:42.280 we fall under occupation. It's not that if we don't fight, 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:46.680 we die. It's that if we don't fight, we will 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:50.360 be transformed into horrors beyond the comprehension of the human mind, 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.800 horrors that challenge the cruelty of even the old gods. 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:59.280 So when doctor Abadi said it's kind of just a 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.440 matter of time, it was with a weight that would 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:05.520 have seemed almost unknowable to people only a generation or 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:09.240 two back. But do you know what else would have 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:12.600 seemed unknowable to people only a generation or two back, 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:19.880 the sweet sweet deals being offered by our advertisers. This 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:22.319 podcast is brought to you by the Council for Naming 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:26.080 All the objects that you can see? Are you feeling overwhelmed? 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:29.640 Got that familiar itch of anxiety creeping up your spine? 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:32.880 Pretty sure you're about to have a panic attack. Try 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:40.800 naming all the objects that you can see today, house, planned, dog, partner, ceiling, fan, bookshelf, 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.680 Kalshnikov alter containing the cremains of seven of your unit 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:47.280 mates that died during that first terrible engagement with the enemy, 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:51.400 and the ruins of Palo Alto. Whatever's around you, just 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:54.240 name it. This is a reminder that no grounding technique 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:56.559 is guaranteed to work in every situation. If naming every 0:09:56.559 --> 0:09:58.360 object that you can see does not bring relief within 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:01.400 five minutes, to consider alternative tack tchniques. If panic is 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:03.679 a routine part of your life, consult with a therapist 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.960 and or psychiatrist at the nearest available opportunity. If you 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:08.240 live in a country in which you do not have 0:10:08.280 --> 0:10:11.480 affordable or free access to therapy and or psychiatry, consider 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:17.040 anti capitalist revolution. This podcast is brought to you by 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:21.600 Wimpy Wobble's Wizard World. Yes, the theme park. There are 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:25.400 still theme parks, Okay. Sometimes you just want to experience 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:28.680 a mild simulation of danger in a low key environment, 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:32.040 surrounded by actors and wizard costumes that you know receive 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:34.680 a living wage for their work of entertaining you and 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:38.640 bringing smiles to the faces of children. All families of 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:42.120 active duty anti fascists receive free admission and a fifty 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.720 percent discount on all ride tickets. So come on down 0:10:45.800 --> 0:11:10.360 to Wimpy Wobble's wizard World today and we're back. Doctor. 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.840 Our body cleared me from the hospital tent in the 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:15.880 early evening the day after the battle. It turns out, 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:20.200 because I lost a day to pain and drugs, powered 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:23.160 chairs were in short supply, so I let a handsome, 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:25.800 old orderly volunteer to push me around in an old 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:29.760 fashioned wheelchair. His name was Florencio and he'd been born 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:33.440 in the twentieth century. Just barely, and he blushed like 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:37.240 wildfire every time I flirted with him. He'd spent his 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:39.640 whole life in Madrid, and his whole career as an 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:43.680 orderly He'd evacuated during the coup, and he wept openly 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:47.560 and fiercely when he talked about the triage of which 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:50.720 patients they could get out of the city. They'd prioritized 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.760 anyone the fascists were most likely to kill, But he 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:56.080 was certain, as certain as he was that the sun 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:59.600 would rise each morning that the remaining patients had been 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:04.640 trans into the demonic labs, into the nightmare factories. I 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:07.400 did what I could do. Signor Senora, he said, using 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:10.240 one of the many outdated non binary honorifics that people 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.959 have explored over the decades. I found it quaint and charming. 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:17.200 We were outside in the cooling air, watching the sun 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:21.440 set over the hills. I've been a war correspondent since 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.160 this war kicked off, I told him, and I haven't 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:28.000 met many people who've directly physically saved more lives than 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.000 you have. You have to focus on what you've accomplished, 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:33.920 on the people you've saved, not the things that you've failed. 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.640 War has made an old person of you, he said, smiling, 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.360 glad I got to live to be old. Then I 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:43.599 told him, even if I had to speed run the 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:47.960 whole thing. The old books always say that war is 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:51.360 mostly waiting around, bored and miserable, until bad stuff happens. 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:56.120 And certainly it really is mostly waiting around. There'd been 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.400 a flurry of excitement when I'd first arrived, sure, but 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:01.760 I spent the next two weeks without much going on. 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:06.600 I wasn't bored and miserable. Though. Morale is a terrain 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:09.640 of struggle, and it's one of the terrains we're winning on. 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:13.840 I think that the complex stew of ideologies and frameworks 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.120 and nationalities and just types of people and ways of 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:19.880 looking at the world has made even a poorly fed 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:22.160 camp on the losing side of a campaign into a 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:25.760 place that is vibrant and exciting. We had enough fanatic 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:29.439 nihilism to accept our dire situation, enough diehard old and 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:32.520 archosyndicalus to remind us of the glory and legacy that 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:35.400 we were part of. We had enough religious sorts to 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:38.320 keep us arguing over theology, and enough political sorts to 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:42.000 keep us arguing about politics. The semi democratic nature of 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:44.600 the command meant that everyone kept up with planning and 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:49.920 strategy and felt invested in our decisions. There was music 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:53.360 from around the world. I took my turn telling stories 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:56.120 around the fire, and I kept busy talking to dino 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.600 handlers and medics and messengers and scouts. By the end 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.080 of the second week, I could get around on crutches 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.720 and even manage to be able to type a little again. 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:09.360 But there's no getting around it. The Iberian Phalanx could 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:12.360 attack at any moment, and the odds are not going 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.679 to be in our favor if they do. I've been 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:20.320 compiling this missive, this podcast script. What would I write 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:22.520 if it were the last thing I would ever say 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:26.200 in public? Some days, especially first thing in the morning, 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:28.760 with a lover's arm draped over my chest and a 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.960 little bit of a drool on my shoulder, the immediatism 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.360 of many of the soldiers around me appeals to me. 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:39.680 Maybe it's better to be forgotten. But after the midday meal, 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:43.080 hardtack and tea, lately not something to write home about. 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.400 I sit down to write, and there are so many 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.480 things I want to say, so many things that I 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:53.760 don't want lost forever. If you'll forgive me the self indulgence. 0:14:54.320 --> 0:15:02.000 I want to tell you about well. Me born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:06.200 in twenty twenty eight. Back then Pennsylvania was a state, 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.240 but I don't remember it as a state. I was 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:12.520 in elementary school when our statehood was revoked and our 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:16.480 teacher was replaced by someone quote less woke, who informed 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:19.200 us that in the state's rights era of the Republican government, 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:23.120 only states that understood core American values could be trusted. 0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:27.880 With such a high degree of independence, Pennsylvania joined Rhode Island, Maryland, 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:34.240 and Massachusetts as an fat a federally administered territory. At first, 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:37.640 this didn't change too much. I was still a second 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:41.520 generation non binary kid and a third generation anarchist, so 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:45.360 what the government said we should do didn't change my 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:49.480 life too much. By middle school, though, my family started 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.840 a home school co op because too many of my 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:55.120 generation of kids was getting suspended or even sent a 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:59.880 juvie or being trans and or non binary. I remember 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:03.680 really loving my childhood. We were poor as hell, but 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:06.840 so was the whole city, and we shared. We lived 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:10.280 with my grandmother, missus Jones. She insisted that everyone call her, 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:13.320 even though she had never been married. She just thought 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.200 it sounded classy. She'd bought a cheap house in the 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:18.960 mid auts, and there was always a rotating cast of 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:23.680 folks passing through or extra families living with us. Sometimes 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.520 there was drama, and more than once my grandma ran 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.440 people out at gunpoint if they couldn't act right, if 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:32.640 they weren't safe around us kids. But I had a 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.240 lot of friends, and when adults in our lives told 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.240 stories about the bullies and the homophobia that they'd faced 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:42.120 us kids, it felt almost exactly the same as when 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:46.320 they told ghost stories about murderers and demons. These were 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:51.440 just imaginary tales to scare kids. All three of my 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:55.480 immediate parents worked full time, and missus Jones. She let 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:57.360 me call her another name, but she swore me to 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:01.200 never mention it in print. Zones was the closest adult 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:05.400 in my life. The federal administration rescinded our co ops 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:09.280 homeschooling license when I was thirteen, and they sent us 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.840 back to public school. My peers were mostly good, but 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:16.160 the stuff they taught us was pure Christian nationalist propaganda. 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:18.840 I used to get sent to the principal's office almost 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:22.960 every day. The principle, though he was secretly on our side, 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:26.400 so he'd say, when you walk out here, you'd better 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:29.120 look like I scolded you, or they'll take me away 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:34.280 and disappear me. What's worse, he he meant it that 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:38.000 whole situation didn't last. When I was sixteen, the war 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:43.800 came and it shattered well everything. My whole family and 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.600 our whole extended network fled the city and crowded into 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:49.280 a land project out in the mountains of the still 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:52.200 a state because it was full of boot liquors West Virginia, 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:54.960 and we were sheltered in our way by being in 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.879 a place that just no one gives a single shit about. 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:04.919 We were also sheltered by these goods and services the 0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:08.600 sponsors that support our show. I don't know is something 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:15.280 here's ads. Hey there, old fashioned Look at you still 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:18.320 listening to podcasts. Well, if you like this podcast, you 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:23.120 will love the new true crime show Hatchets and hand Jobs, 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:27.200 where hard hitting reporters track down the solicious details about 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:32.800 the sexiest murders and history. This podcast is brought to 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:36.000 you by the Council for the Abolition of overhead Lighting. 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:38.639 Do you want your house to look good? Want to 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.879 make your guests squint while they look for silverware, try 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:45.840 using only floor lamps and electric candles, guaranteed to make 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:51.920 your house beautiful and your life slightly worse. This podcast 0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:55.320 is brought to you by Brother Tim Sandwich Place. Are 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:58.879 you tired of alliteration? Want to buck the trend by 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.480 eating somewhere that believe is that the multiple words and 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:06.359 proper names can start with different letters. Come on down 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:11.840 to Brother tim Sandwich Palace. We've got sandwiches, we've got heroes, 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:17.280 we've got tacos, we've got French fruit fried potatoes in 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:41.960 long string four and we're back. I lost missus Jones 0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:44.440 and two of my three parents in the six months 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:46.679 of the war. We could have stayed out of it. 0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:52.280 Probably certainly us kids managed to. There's one moment that 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:57.040 will stay with me, haunt me forever. My dad's name 0:19:57.040 --> 0:20:00.680 was Erico. He wasn't Italian, he was fourth generally Polish, 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:03.720 but he was a history nerd, so he named himself Rico. 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:06.880 He wasn't my birth father, but he had gone through 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:09.439 the endless legal ordeal to adopt me and marry my 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:12.439 birth parents, so that there was a registered cisgender caretaker 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:17.360 to protect me legally. During those anti trans years, he 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:20.000 was fighting in the anti war movement. And it's funny 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:22.640 to say fighting in the anti war movement, and by 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:25.720 that mean he carried a rifle and he trained in 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:29.600 a militia because they were delivering EMP devices to communities 0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:33.359 across Appalachia and they were regularly involved in firefights in 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:38.239 the process. I was sixteen and I wanted to go 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:41.720 with him. We got in this massive blow up fight, 0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:46.720 just screaming and yelling. I started the yelling, but he 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:49.600 yelled right back, which he wasn't allowed to do, and 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:52.560 I told him as much while I threw things. And 0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:55.000 the reason we were fighting is because I wanted to 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:57.560 go with him. One of my best friends from the 0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:01.520 Land Project had gone off to fight already. They're seventeen, 0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:05.720 you're sixteen. Erico yelled at me. What kind of anarchist 0:21:05.840 --> 0:21:09.679 are you? I yelled back, I'm your father first and 0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:13.560 an anarchist second. He yelled, I would disgrace my ancestors 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:18.200 before I'd put you in danger. And look, I yelled 0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:20.239 the thing that everyone in my position has yelled at 0:21:20.280 --> 0:21:23.480 some point or another. I told him, you're not my 0:21:23.600 --> 0:21:27.080 real dad, and I stormed up to my room on 0:21:27.160 --> 0:21:29.960 the second floor of the old barn, and I slammed 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:33.840 the door and the whole building shook, and outside my 0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:37.399 room in the common space, I heard Riko crying talking 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:40.080 to my other parents, and I knew they were arguing 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:42.080 about whether or not to let me come with them. 0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:48.240 And then and then they left. My seventeen year old friend, 0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:53.520 ginger Erico, Missus Jones, and my other father, Tomas, my 0:21:54.080 --> 0:21:58.199 real dad, which wasn't something I ever believed in. They 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:00.600 went out that night on a mission, and they never 0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:06.800 came back. We never found their bodies. Probably, almost certainly, 0:22:07.400 --> 0:22:10.080 they were killed by a drone strike outside of Martinsburg, 0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:13.199 West Virginia that night. Of the seventy people killed in 0:22:13.240 --> 0:22:18.240 that strike, only fifty four were successfully identified. For a 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:21.160 long time, I like to think that they were still 0:22:21.160 --> 0:22:24.280 out there. I don't know what I like to think anymore. 0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:28.480 The last thing I told Erico was you're not my 0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:31.199 real dad, and I'm going to be sitting on that 0:22:31.359 --> 0:22:35.080 in sorrow for the rest of my life. I forgive 0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:37.919 myself because I know that not only would he have 0:22:37.960 --> 0:22:40.879 forgiven me, he would have told me there was nothing 0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:47.359 to forgive that I hadn't done anything wrong. After they disappeared, 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:50.639 I fell into a dark place for a while. After that, 0:22:51.720 --> 0:22:54.680 I barely left my room. I definitely never left the 0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:59.280 land until after the war. I did, though, start writing 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:03.040 a job, which I suppose got me into the mess 0:23:03.040 --> 0:23:06.960 I'm in now. But when I say mess, I will 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:11.440 also say that I am surrounded by passionate people successfully 0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:16.280 holding back fascism against incredible odds. I'm talking every night 0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:19.880 with so many wonderful people. I'm sleeping next to or 0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:23.800 with so many wonderful people. And I don't know if 0:23:23.920 --> 0:23:27.639 Erico was right or wrong ethically or ideologically to stop 0:23:27.640 --> 0:23:29.880 his sixteen year old kid from fighting in a war, 0:23:30.880 --> 0:23:33.400 but I know that I'm glad he did it. I'm 0:23:33.400 --> 0:23:36.280 glad he was willing to risk his own ethical purity 0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:40.920 to save my life. So thank you eric O Schpora, 0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:44.639 and I miss you Ginger, I miss you Tomas, I 0:23:44.720 --> 0:23:49.359 miss you, missus Jones. Maybe I'll see you soon. I 0:23:49.400 --> 0:23:56.639 sort of hope not, but maybe. Margaret here again. Thanks 0:23:56.640 --> 0:23:58.840 for listening to Cool Zone twenty fifty five How to 0:23:58.880 --> 0:24:02.640 Survive the Dinah War. We still have a little bit 0:24:02.680 --> 0:24:07.040 more from Mixed Money Face Murder before well I feel 0:24:07.040 --> 0:24:08.840 like I'm dragging it out because I'm really hoping we'll 0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:13.280 get another missive tied to a pigeon, or even better, 0:24:14.480 --> 0:24:18.040 maybe we'll all march in there. Maybe we'll free Catalonia. 0:24:18.600 --> 0:24:24.400 That'd be nice. I hope it happens. And plugs at 0:24:24.400 --> 0:24:28.359 the end of a podcast. Well, if you like the 0:24:28.400 --> 0:24:31.760 work that I do, you should go back and read 0:24:32.800 --> 0:24:36.000 one of the first series that I ever did, Danielle 0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:38.040 Kane series. The first book is called The Lamb Will 0:24:38.080 --> 0:24:39.879 Slaughter the Lion. If you go back far enough in 0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:42.720 Cool Zone Media history, you can hear me read it 0:24:42.760 --> 0:24:46.440 on Cool Zone Media Book Club to Robert Evans. And 0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:51.199 the third book in that series was called The Immortal 0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:53.760 Choir Will Send. Nope, that's not the name of it. 0:24:53.800 --> 0:24:55.600 That's a maybe mixing up the first two books. The 0:24:55.640 --> 0:24:57.720 second book is called The Barrow We'll Send what it may, 0:24:57.760 --> 0:25:00.879 and the third book is called The Immortal Choir Holds 0:25:00.880 --> 0:25:04.359 Every Voice. And it came out because I remember in 0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:06.760 summer of twenty twenty five, but more importantly than that, 0:25:06.840 --> 0:25:11.119 it was kickstarted in March. Yeah, it was March twenty 0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:14.760 twenty five that it was kickstarted, and so people back 0:25:14.800 --> 0:25:17.920 then they could have even as far back as February 0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:22.160 signed up for updates about that kickstarter, and then once 0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:24.320 the kickstarter went live, they could have gotten all kinds 0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:27.880 of stuff, including audiobook versions of all three of the books. 0:25:28.040 --> 0:25:30.360 It was a good time to get into that series, 0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:36.440 That's what I remember. But take care of yourself, take 0:25:36.480 --> 0:25:39.480