1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: Well, guys, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: dot com and just click submit Strawberry Letter and we 5 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:18,920 Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, just 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,280 Speaker 1: like we're going to read this one right here, right now. Okay, 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for 8 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subjects. 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: I don't think we're really cousins. Dear Stephen Shirley. In 10 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,639 Speaker 1: high school, I liked a girl and she liked me. 11 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: We talked on the phone and hung out together all 12 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: the time, and her mom and my mom were close too, 13 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,559 Speaker 1: so she always was at my house or I was 14 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: at hers. By the time we graduated from high school, 15 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 1: we were even closer, and I told her that I 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: wanted her to be more than my friend. She's always 17 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: been really close to her mom and tells her everything, 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: so she told her mom that she and I were dating. 19 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,959 Speaker 1: Her mom told her that I was her cousin. When 20 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,320 Speaker 1: she told me we were related, I felt strange because 21 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: we had kissed a few times, we never questioned it. 22 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,759 Speaker 1: Though we stopped dating and remained very close cousins, we 23 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: still did everything together and told each other everything, and 24 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: by the time we were in our mid twenties, we 25 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 1: both had a bunch of bad relationships and always ended 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: up back together. I realized that I loved my quote 27 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: unquote cousin and she's a perfect woman for me. So 28 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: I finally asked my mom if we were really related. 29 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: My mom said, we're related somewhere down the line, but 30 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 1: there is no way for us to find out now 31 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: because all of the older relatives are deceased. I told 32 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: my mom that I'm in love with her and I 33 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: want to be with her. My mom told me to 34 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: follow my heart. I couldn't wait to tell my cousin 35 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: how I really felt, and I was relieved when she 36 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: told me she's been in love with me forever. Since then, 37 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: we've made love a few times, and I asked her 38 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: to marry me. She wants to do a search of 39 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: our family tree first. I don't think we're cousins and 40 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: this is only postponing our happiness. Should we search for 41 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: answers or not? Well, I'm with you on this one. 42 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: I don't know. I just don't believe your guys are cousins. 43 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: I don't believe. I think maybe you know, her mom 44 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: told her that because she didn't want you guys dating 45 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: for whatever reason. And you know, I don't want you guys, 46 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,639 Speaker 1: not because I don't want it to be true or anything. 47 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: I just don't believe your mom. Both of them are 48 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 1: telling the truth. Even your mom said you were related 49 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: somewhere down the line, she didn't even know, and she 50 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: said there's no one in your family to validate it. 51 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: But I mean, there are ways you can search to 52 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 1: find out. It's just, I don't know, suspicious the way 53 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: they handled everything and the way they told you, and 54 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: for that very reason, Yes, I think you should find 55 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: out if you're related. I think you should do the search. 56 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: I mean, knowledge is power. The truth will set you're free. 57 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: What if you want to have children down the line, 58 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 1: you know this is something you should know, whether or 59 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,639 Speaker 1: not you're related. There's a lot to consider. You need 60 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: the fact so you can make an informed, a clearheaded, 61 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: right decision, and nothing just based on your emotions. Like 62 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: your mom told you, just to follow your heart. It 63 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: sounds like you don't care though, if your cousins are not, 64 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: and your mom certainly doesn't care. But your girl wants 65 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: to know and it's important to her. So I think 66 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: you should do the search, and you know, whatever you 67 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: guys find out, let the chips fall, you know where 68 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: they may. I don't think you're really cousins. I don't know, 69 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: and if you find out that you're not, then you 70 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: can move forward. Steve, Well, this is a short response 71 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: for me because I don't even understand. There's no advice 72 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: to give in this letter, like you don't know him, 73 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: Gonna have sections while I break down what somebody said 74 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: and what the other person said. It's none of that 75 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: in here. And he just wants to know should they search? 76 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: That's his question. Anyway, It ain't about that to me. 77 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: If if your mother, if the woman that she's really 78 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: close to, and y'all been over each other's house, if 79 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: that ain't your mother's sister, and and that woman that's 80 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: not for the sister, this girl that you're dating, and okay, 81 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: let me let me put you the woman and your 82 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: mama are not sisters, and then her daughter is the 83 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: woman you love that ain't your cousin. So now that's 84 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 1: established right down now, this, y'all cousin somewhere down the line. 85 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 1: Black people know who it's happening. If all of them 86 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 1: is dead, Black people know who it's happening. Now. What 87 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 1: didn't happened is one of the men in the family 88 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: and straight off somewhere had a child out of wedlock, 89 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: and one of your aunts or mama's is them. Now 90 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: that everybody dead? Stuff? Y'all got bibles? Opened up my 91 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: old bibles and read who who? You ain't gonna see 92 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: your name in now? Now once you don't see your name, 93 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: This is an open and shut case. I ain't know 94 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: all the old people dead, well, hot man, So what 95 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 1: are we talking about here? So? I don't really think 96 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: it's a case of if you do the search, what 97 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 1: you're gonna find, you're not gonna find anything. And y'all, 98 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: you in love with the girl. She in love with 99 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: the girl? I mean she in love with you? I 100 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 1: mean what, y'all? What if they want kids? They're too 101 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: far down the line for that to affect anything you're saying. 102 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: I think they're way way down. Let me tell you something. 103 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: It was something dangerous. The boy's mother not have said 104 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: follow your heart, but the other mothers was the one 105 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: that said their cousins. I think she said it because 106 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: she didn't want them to date. She just said that, Well, okay, 107 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 1: tell her mom asked her, ask her mama how, But 108 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 1: she can't didn't even tell how these She can't even 109 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: tell how these other two is related. The two women 110 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: want their relationship. They're just they're they're just really close 111 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:31,919 Speaker 1: and only okay, well that ain't your cousins. Yeah, but 112 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: they did it. You do know they did it right? Yes, 113 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,479 Speaker 1: they said it in the letter. Yes, it's in the letter. 114 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of Steve coming up at twenty 115 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: three minutes after be our subject, I don't think we're 116 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,040 Speaker 1: really cousins. We'll get back into it right after this. 117 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: You're listening Steven Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's 118 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 1: recap today's interesting Strawberry letter. Her subject, I don't think 119 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: we're really cousins. All right. This guy was in high school. 120 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 1: He liked a girl and they she liked him. They 121 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: talked on the phone, hung out together all the time. 122 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: Her mom and my mom were close to so she 123 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: was always at my house. Never once in this letter 124 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: does it say her mom and his mom was related. 125 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: By the time they graduated high school, we were even closer. 126 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: I told her want to be more than friends. She's 127 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: always been really close to her mom and tells everything. 128 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: So she told her mom she and I were dating. 129 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: Her mom told her I was her cousin. But your 130 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: mama ain't related to this. To the boys, mama, they're 131 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: just climbed. So now where that come from? When she 132 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: told me we were related, I felt strange because I 133 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: had kissed a few times. I have a question that 134 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 1: told we stopped dating and remained close everything together. Then 135 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: they went through a bunch of bad relationships and always 136 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: ended up back together. And then he said, I realized 137 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: I loved my cousin and she's a perfect woman for me. 138 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: So this dude go and ask his mom if they 139 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: really related. The mother said, y'all related somewhere down the line, 140 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: but there ain't no way to find out because all 141 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: the older relatives are dead. Well, okay, what was we 142 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,199 Speaker 1: talking about? This folk? I told my mom that I'm 143 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: in love with her and I want to be with her. 144 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: My mom told me to follow my heart. So then 145 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: he ran and toldly girl who as he thinks his cousin, 146 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: how it really felt, and he was relieved when she 147 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: told me she'd been in love with me forever. Well 148 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: then since then they'd have made love a few times, 149 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: and I asked her to marry me. She wants to 150 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 1: do a search of our family tree first because she 151 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: don't want to come up and get in bass. You know, 152 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: then half of these people you think it's dead, gonna 153 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 1: show up at the wedding. Well, ain't this strange? You know, 154 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: I'm est uh Ru's least Bartholom inside. They all have 155 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,439 Speaker 1: an old slave man names and everything. First, all of 156 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:26,959 Speaker 1: you Frederick, you know Frederick was your aunt great great 157 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:32,839 Speaker 1: great great uncle, Frederick Frederick Douglas. Boy, you got a 158 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 1: afro just like him. You don't be a good So 159 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: she wants to do a search and to think. And 160 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: he said, I don't think we're cousins, and this is 161 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 1: only postponed in our happiness. Should we search for answers 162 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 1: or not? Okay, let me explain something to your son. 163 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:53,959 Speaker 1: When you get through searching, it ain't gonna change one 164 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: thing you feel about this girl. Come on board. When 165 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: you get through searching, it ain't gonna race the fact 166 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: that y'all in love with each other and y'all been together. 167 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: It ain't gonna race nothing, no matter what the search say. 168 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: And if you find out you somewhere way down the line, 169 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 1: how far down the line is it? Now? How many 170 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: people got to die? Save all your evidence is dead? 171 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: Down the line is dead. But your mother and her 172 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 1: mother ain't even related? So what are y'all talking about? See? 173 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: I think her mother didn't want them to date because 174 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: immediately when she told him that, they stopped dating. If 175 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: there's no relation between the two friends, well that could 176 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: be happening because maybe they're just friends and the two 177 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:56,319 Speaker 1: kids is in other families. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's 178 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: a possibility. You know. That's why I don't think their cousins. 179 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: I don't think it will hurt anything to do the 180 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 1: search because we see the problem with that is we're 181 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: talking about two mothers. Though. See, once you have mothers involved, 182 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 1: ain't know you ain't in the family. What you mean 183 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:20,440 Speaker 1: this woman is the mother of the boy, is the 184 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: mother of the girl, right, So how are these two 185 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:32,439 Speaker 1: kids related? How am I missing something? It could be 186 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: through Could it be through marriage? I don't know. Marriage 187 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 1: two women were married to the same brothers or some friends. 188 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: That could happen. But yeah, I don't think they're I 189 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:49,320 Speaker 1: just don't think they're related. Test you take. You had 190 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: a test one ancestry doctor. That's it right there. I 191 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 1: just did one. I just did a test. I just 192 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:05,560 Speaker 1: did it. I had people do mind from me. So 193 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. You don't have to have living relatives, 194 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 1: you know. So his mom said, everybody's dead to prove 195 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: whether or not there I can find stuff on my 196 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: mother's side, but it goes back to my father and 197 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: it stops. So if down the line ain't here, you 198 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: can steal a fan out. We're going. Yeah, he loved her, though, 199 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 1: what's what's gonna happen? Yeah, Yeah, she loves him. She 200 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: wants she's the one that wants to know. I mean, 201 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,319 Speaker 1: you do have to consider which, Yeah, you have to 202 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: the children and everything. You know. Are you out, Steve? 203 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: You're done well, I'm told yeah, because you got awfully quiet. 204 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: Right there is hard to raise anyway. Ain't that the truth? 205 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 1: You said? Yeah, you're gonna have a situation with him 206 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: if ain't nothing wrong with him. All right, Listen, guys, 207 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 1: you can leave your comments on today's letter on Instagram 208 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter 209 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 1: podcast on demand now coming up in ten minutes, we'll 210 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 1: have some headlines and some trending topics, and we'll do 211 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: that right after this. You're listening to the Stave Harvey 212 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:20,160 Speaker 1: Morning Show.