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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parents, Ane Moore. Please, okay,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air when you write us. You

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Speaker 1: never know this one could be yours, all right, you

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Speaker 1: never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We got

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Speaker 1: it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subjects.

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Speaker 1: I cut him off and he stopped asking. Dear Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm married to a very stubborn man, and out of

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Speaker 1: eight years of marriage, he's ignored me for most of

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Speaker 1: that time. I'm a charge nurse and I've been really

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Speaker 1: stressed out lately. As you can imagine. I come home

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Speaker 1: to my husband and I expect him to listen to

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Speaker 1: me event and console me, but instead he has his

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Speaker 1: head in his phone and he tunes me out. I

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Speaker 1: have asked him to do favors for me, or pick

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Speaker 1: up grossries and dry cleaning, and he lie and say

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Speaker 1: he'll do it, And when I asked him about it,

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Speaker 1: he either says he doesn't remember agreeing to do it,

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Speaker 1: or he will say he didn't have time to I

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Speaker 1: got so fed up with him that I stopped talking

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Speaker 1: to him. He didn't care because I was still having

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Speaker 1: sex with him so I could unwind at night. I

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Speaker 1: realized he was enjoying the sex and didn't have to

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Speaker 1: deal with my mouth, so I cut the sex off,

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Speaker 1: and he eventually started talking to me and paying attention

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Speaker 1: to what I had to say. I played that game

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Speaker 1: with him whenever I got really irritated with him. Back

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Speaker 1: in May, I had a colonoscopy and he took me

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Speaker 1: for the procedure and left me there. I had to

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Speaker 1: be put into a holding room because the nurse couldn't

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Speaker 1: find him. He eventually came to pick me up, and

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Speaker 1: that was it for me. I had had enough of him,

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Speaker 1: so I went back to ignoring him. He apologized and

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Speaker 1: begged me for sex for the first three weeks, and

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Speaker 1: then he stopped. He seemed to be okay without sex,

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Speaker 1: and his mood changed. He lent me vent to him

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Speaker 1: and he started helping me out around the house. I

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Speaker 1: try to reward him for good behavior with sex, and

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Speaker 1: he turned me away. I'm not sure of what he's

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Speaker 1: up to, but he will not but he will not

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Speaker 1: have sex with me. Now has my ignoring game backfired?

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Speaker 1: What is up with him? Well, I mean, realistically speaking,

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Speaker 1: either he's getting it from somewhere else or he's playing

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Speaker 1: your game back at you. So you can see how

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Speaker 1: it feels. I know it's confusing to you because in

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Speaker 1: the midst of him now cutting you off, he's still

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Speaker 1: being nice to you. He's still being nice. What does

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Speaker 1: that mean? You've you've been with this man for eight years,

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Speaker 1: and for the most of that time you said he

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Speaker 1: has ignored you. I mean you said that in the letter.

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Speaker 1: So even though there's no proof that he's cheating, he

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Speaker 1: has changed significantly, and change in behavior from a man

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Speaker 1: could definitely be a sign of cheating, proof or not.

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Speaker 1: My question to you is why are you still with

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Speaker 1: this man. You've been basically single in your marriage for

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Speaker 1: all of these years. You said he's ignored you for

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Speaker 1: eight You've got no help from him, and the simple

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Speaker 1: things like picking up the dry cleaning or getting groceries,

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Speaker 1: and the big one, where was he after your colonoscopy?

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Speaker 1: Why did you have to be put in a holding room?

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Speaker 1: You yourself said that was it for you? Well, apparently not,

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Speaker 1: because you're still there and now he's flipped the script

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Speaker 1: on you. He's flipped the game, and as you worried

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Speaker 1: about what he's up to. So I mean, my advice

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Speaker 1: is you got to talk to him, because only he

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Speaker 1: can tell you why he's turning you away. And please

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Speaker 1: do not expect him to be honest. If he is cheating,

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Speaker 1: he's not going to tell you the truth. But again,

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Speaker 1: I say, you got to talk to him. You got

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Speaker 1: to find out what's going on. Then you can make

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Speaker 1: an informed decision on your next move, because it's obvious

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Speaker 1: you want to stay. You want to stay married to him.

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Speaker 1: Well at least you did you know when you were

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Speaker 1: in control, when you were controlling him with sex, So

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Speaker 1: talk to him and find out what's going on with him. Steve, Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, ladies, Lady Shirley and Colin. Let me ask

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Speaker 1: you a question. Do you want me to give a

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Speaker 1: truthful answer to this letter? Yeah? Or do you want

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Speaker 1: me to be blatantly honest? Both? I want, but I

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Speaker 1: want the truth just the truth is good, honestly good. Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Do both? Steve? I mean, is there a difference, really,

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Speaker 1: yes and the truth and blatantly the truth always has

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Speaker 1: kindly said it. Blatant honesty is just brutal, hard, cold facts. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's how your man talks to you. Which sometimes

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Speaker 1: we're mostly truthful with you, and then when we're blatantly

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Speaker 1: honest with you, it's because we didn't have enough and

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Speaker 1: you need to just hear it. Which one you want? Like? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: which one? I like to hear the truth? I mean,

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Speaker 1: be honest, say it? Okay, well it is he needs

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Speaker 1: give it to us, give it to the people. I'm

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Speaker 1: married to a very stubborn man, and out of eight

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Speaker 1: years of marriage, he's ignored me most of the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm a charged nurse and I'm usually stressed out lately,

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Speaker 1: as you can imagine, I can't imagine with COVID. I

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Speaker 1: come home to my husband and I expect him to

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Speaker 1: listen to vent and console me, but instead he had

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Speaker 1: his head in his phone and he tunes me out.

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Speaker 1: I've asked him to do favors for me. First of all,

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Speaker 1: let's stop. You're ready for some honesty, Yeah, come on,

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Speaker 1: he don't like it. Don't hold back. He don't like her.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't like her. He don't like her. He loves her,

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Speaker 1: but he don't like her, who I believe it. He

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Speaker 1: don't like her. I've asked him to do favors for me,

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Speaker 1: pick up groceries, dry cleaning. He will lye and say

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Speaker 1: he'll do it, And then I asked him about it.

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Speaker 1: He just says he don't remember agreeing to it, or

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Speaker 1: he say he didn't have time to He don't like her.

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Speaker 1: He don't like her. He don't give a damn where

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Speaker 1: she won't. Yeah, he ignored her for eight years. He

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Speaker 1: loves her. He bringing the money in and they're paying

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Speaker 1: the bills. But he don't like her. You don't like

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Speaker 1: you no more. So I got fat on when and

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Speaker 1: I stopped talking to him. He ain't care. Fine, you

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Speaker 1: don't wanna talk to me? Fine, I don't care. I

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Speaker 1: don't even like you. He don't like her. But I

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Speaker 1: was still having sect to him so I could unwind

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Speaker 1: at night. Bam, cool, got it too. I got the cake.

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Speaker 1: I ain't gonna talk to you. Hold on, stick and

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Speaker 1: I'm eating it too. We have a sex man. Coo, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hold on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response

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Speaker 1: coming up. At twenty three minutes after the hour, subject

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Speaker 1: of today's Strawberry letter cut him off and he stopped asking.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show,

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Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject. I cut him off and he stopped asking.

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Speaker 1: I cut him off and he stopped asking. So now

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Speaker 1: I ask the ladies call in Sherley. I said, what

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Speaker 1: would you all want me to do? I could give

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Speaker 1: you a truth for answer. Oh, I can give you

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Speaker 1: a brutally honest answer. They said, what we want both? Well,

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Speaker 1: you can't do both, because see, when a man gives

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Speaker 1: you a truthful answer, it's always temperate with words of

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Speaker 1: kindness and not so revealing. We'll tell you the truth

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Speaker 1: without telling you the whole truth. See that's the difference,

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Speaker 1: and we know the different. If you want to be

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Speaker 1: blatant honest, then here it is in your face, no

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Speaker 1: sugar only, no coating it. Boom. So they asked for

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Speaker 1: the honest answer, So here we go. She just found

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Speaker 1: out that I'm trying to get this lady to understand something.

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Speaker 1: You've been eight years to a stubborn man. Mostly he's

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Speaker 1: a charging nurse. She's stretched out. You come home, you

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Speaker 1: expect your husband to listen to him, to you venting console,

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Speaker 1: and instead he got his head and his phone. He

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Speaker 1: tunes you out. You ask him pick up grocer to

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Speaker 1: do favors for you and dry cleaning here a line

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Speaker 1: say or do it you come home. It won't be done.

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Speaker 1: He'll say you either didn't tell him that, or he'll

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Speaker 1: just say he ain't had time. All of this is

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Speaker 1: because he don't like her. You're married to a man

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Speaker 1: that doesn't like you, and this is a message for

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Speaker 1: a lot of women need to hear this. See y'all

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Speaker 1: be trying to save your marriage, but you're saving your marriage.

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Speaker 1: And the man may love you, but he ain't got

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Speaker 1: to like you. He'd been stopped liking this woman a

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Speaker 1: long time ago. It's things about her he don't agree to.

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Speaker 1: So then so she got fed up with him and

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Speaker 1: she stopped talking to him. He didn't care. You know why.

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Speaker 1: He didn't care because he don't like her. Who And

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Speaker 1: then I because I was still and he didn't care

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Speaker 1: because I was still having sexual him so I could

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Speaker 1: unwind the night. I realized he was enjoying the sex,

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Speaker 1: but he didn't have to deal with my mom because

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Speaker 1: he don't care. He don't care. He love you, He

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Speaker 1: has sex with you, but he don't like you. Know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Times man can have sex somebody don't

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Speaker 1: like Are you kidding me? Ladies? A lot of y'all

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Speaker 1: are married to men that don't like you no more,

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Speaker 1: and you're fighting to hang on to this love. But

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Speaker 1: this man don't like you no more. He don't like you,

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Speaker 1: and it's just crazy man, and y'all need to understand this.

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Speaker 1: That's why I ask how you want me to read

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Speaker 1: this letter to you. He don't like her, and I'm

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Speaker 1: sure you don't like her at all in this letter.

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Speaker 1: So he didn't care because I was still having sexual

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Speaker 1: and so I could wind to night. I realized he

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Speaker 1: was enjoying the sex and didn't have to deal with

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Speaker 1: my mouth, So I cut the sex off, and he

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Speaker 1: eventually started talking to me and paying attention to what

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Speaker 1: I had to say. That is because sex is important

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, and sex is required by a man

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Speaker 1: to deal with the unpleasant treats of the relationship. If

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Speaker 1: you have good sex, we will put up with the

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Speaker 1: unpleasant treats of the relationship if the sex is good.

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Speaker 1: So when you cut this sex off, he said, oh,

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Speaker 1: let me go on and talk to her, even though

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Speaker 1: I don't like her. Let me listen to her so

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Speaker 1: I could get back to having this sex and pay

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Speaker 1: attention to what I had to say. I played that

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Speaker 1: game with him whenever I got really irritated with him. Well,

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Speaker 1: back in May, I had a colonoscophy. He took me

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Speaker 1: for the procedure and left me there. I had to

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Speaker 1: be put into a holding room because the nurse couldn't

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Speaker 1: find him. He eventually came to pick me up and

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Speaker 1: that was it for me. Well three weeks now, three weeks.

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Speaker 1: This has been going on. But back in May, when

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Speaker 1: you had the colonoscophy, you know, you get put out

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Speaker 1: for a colonoscophy. Now you know what. He tied his game,

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Speaker 1: So he did you did say in the beginning of

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Speaker 1: he kept his head in his phone. What are doing

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Speaker 1: in the phone? Well, he made contact. So now while

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Speaker 1: you was out having the colonosophy, since he don't like you,

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Speaker 1: he went and got some stress relief while you was

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Speaker 1: getting operated on him make a little run the run,

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Speaker 1: made a little run. Yeah, I'm just telling y'all what happened.

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Speaker 1: Then he came back and picked you up, but you

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Speaker 1: was done with him. I'd had enough of him, so

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Speaker 1: I went back to ignoring him. He apologized and begged

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Speaker 1: me for sex for the next three weeks. Then he stopped.

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Speaker 1: He seemed to be okay without sex. Ain't no man

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Speaker 1: okay without sex. Let's stop that right there, and his

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Speaker 1: mood change. He let me ventor him and he started

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Speaker 1: helping me out around the house. Well wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: that's weird, but you know why because he was back

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Speaker 1: to getting sex through and so now, since I don't

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Speaker 1: like you to throw you off, now, let me listen

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Speaker 1: and talk to you at the house and listen to

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Speaker 1: your venting so you don't get wise to the fact

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Speaker 1: that I got some sex outside the house, because I

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Speaker 1: ain't gonna keep begging your ass who I don't like anyway.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna beg somebody I don't like for sex.

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Speaker 1: But I can go so somebody's house I like and

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Speaker 1: have sex, and I ain't got to be in love

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Speaker 1: with him. You understand what's happening here in this letter.

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Speaker 1: So he let me vent he's try to help me

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Speaker 1: out around the house. I tried to reward him for

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Speaker 1: good behavior and sex, and he turned me away because

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Speaker 1: he's getting the reward somewhere else, and he can't use

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Speaker 1: up his reward with somebody he don't like when he

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Speaker 1: got to save it for that other girl over there

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Speaker 1: who he do like. Y'all tripping. I'm not sure what

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Speaker 1: he's up to, but he would not have sex with me.

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Speaker 1: Now he having sex with you? How has my ignoring

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Speaker 1: game backfired? He wouldn't got to sex from somebody he liked.

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Speaker 1: He ain't like you, know how? What's up with him? Noah,

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Speaker 1: what's up with you? No? They don't like each other.

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Speaker 1: She liked this man, she in love, but he loved you,

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Speaker 1: but he don't like you. He getting sex somewhere else.

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Speaker 1: He don't give a damn hot and want that little

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Speaker 1: raggedy little piece she was passing out. Wow. Post your

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Speaker 1: comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on

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Speaker 1: it's and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand

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Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, It's

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Speaker 1: Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show