00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here. Gonta made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, you're o presences, presents, and I already too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 2: So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richer Wineker. We're here. 00:00:53 Speaker 2: I'm on top of the world. 00:00:55 Speaker 3: I started the morning by walking through a spider's web and poisoning myself with caffeine. What's going on? Those were the two big events. I went to work. Now I'm here podcasting, and I watched last night, I watched Dead Files. We all know what Dead Files is. It's a ghost hunting reality show from the tens, the teens, the twenty tens. 00:01:24 Speaker 2: I don't know. 00:01:24 Speaker 3: What I learned was that the Family Tree in Santaquin, Utah, unfortunately has closed, the restaurant that everybody hated, haunted by hundreds of ghosts. 00:01:33 Speaker 2: It's gone. 00:01:34 Speaker 3: They're no longer serving their disgusting chicken fried steak ririp. So that is essentially my life, my full, vibrant life, kind of reporting back to you as you begged me to do. I think that's about it. Patreon dot com slash I said, no gifts, come on over, support the podcast, enjoy some bonus episode odes, all kinds of things come on over. But let's get into the podcast. I absolutely love today's guest. It's Joel Kim Booster. Joelo, welcome back to I said. 00:02:10 Speaker 2: I thank you so much. 00:02:12 Speaker 4: I cannot relate to your story more. And by storia, I mean having absolutely nothing that anyone would be interested in hearing about happening to you, because that's been I don't know, this whole year has been has felt so strange. 00:02:31 Speaker 3: Just days will go by and I'll just be like, nothing has really changed in my life. It doesn't feel like there's you know, there'll be especially earlier this year, there will be weeks where I just be like, oh there was. I might as well just have stayed in January first. Yeah, just totally fine. 00:02:48 Speaker 2: Might as well just stay in Lockdown. Honestly, the way things are going for me right now. 00:02:53 Speaker 3: The last time you were on the podcast was Deep Lockdown. Yes it was, And I remember there was like some issue where our former producer had like fallen asleep on the job. 00:03:03 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:03:04 Speaker 4: See, I don't remember any issues. I remember it being a lovely time. I don't remember the issues. 00:03:10 Speaker 3: I mean, that's the difference between you and I. I focus on the negative, right, And I'm fortunately Stephen Ray Morris, former producer, is nowhere near the podcast anymore. But there was something where I was like it was one of those things where we were all learning how to do all of this in a new type of environment. 00:03:28 Speaker 4: And we were talking before we started too about just how used to be the lowest lift. 00:03:32 Speaker 2: Part of your professional life. 00:03:34 Speaker 4: Yes, doing a podcast could not have been easier, could not have been lower effort, and yet here we are in this designed studio, like production designers came in and said, this is the vibe we're going for. 00:03:47 Speaker 2: Visually on the podcast, and yeah, it's awful. Yeah, it's a to what end? Yeah? 00:03:55 Speaker 3: I just wonder what the next step is going to be because eventually a video won't be enough and then how are we going to dazzle people? 00:04:03 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's gonna be an interesting, uh crossroads for us. But I will say it's like every podcast is its own little TV show now. 00:04:11 Speaker 3: Yes, which is kind of It's weird because like growing up, it's like the dream, right host a TV talk. 00:04:16 Speaker 2: A talk show. Yeah, and now here we are with everyone else. 00:04:20 Speaker 4: It's such a monkey's pa sort of like like it's m Night Shyamalan doing that, you know where. It's like this kid grew up wanting to have a talk show and now he's got one. 00:04:29 Speaker 2: But it's a podcast. I'm joking. First, I love my podcast. I do too. I love podcasts. 00:04:34 Speaker 3: Truly, so thankful to be able to have a podcast that people listen to. 00:04:39 Speaker 2: I mean, it feels like a miracle to me. 00:04:40 Speaker 4: That's the toughest thing, right, is that unlike a talk show, there's no studio audience. 00:04:47 Speaker 2: No, You're you're sort of just shouting. 00:04:49 Speaker 4: Into a void and hoping that someone it reaches somebody somewhere. 00:04:53 Speaker 3: When I because I'll do for the Patreon like recaps of housewives or whatever, and I'm just sitting in my back office talking into him, Like if someone observing that from the outside, I can't imagine what does that even look like? 00:05:06 Speaker 2: That? 00:05:06 Speaker 4: That is the thing that I find so impressive about you in this podcast is I record the intro after the guests leave, and even then I feel so crazy talking by myself, Like I could never do what you and Mark Meron do it's the true famed monologists, you and Mark Maren. 00:05:26 Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. 00:05:27 Speaker 4: I just don't think I could sustain like a train of thought that would be engaging to people like. 00:05:34 Speaker 3: I just did, which is you know, just platinum level. 00:05:38 Speaker 2: There are super cuts of you doing it well though on socials honestly, like should we re record? 00:05:46 Speaker 3: There are aspects of this podcast that I think people look at and they're like, wait, he's just he's fundamentally doing the podcast incorrect. I'm sure the network is like, why doesn't he just do this without the guest here? Yeah, and I've just locked myself into a thing which may or may not work, and that I guess it's neither here nor there. 00:06:06 Speaker 4: Well, I think you're still like doing it better than say, like Jessica Alba. 00:06:11 Speaker 3: Would I do everything better than Jessica Help? 00:06:13 Speaker 4: But I don't know that she has a podcast, but you know someone's thinking about it on her team. Oh my god, they've pitched it over over And that is the other great thing that has changed is now podcasting is no longer just you know. 00:06:27 Speaker 2: Normal people, normal people. It is just now every a lister has a podcast. 00:06:31 Speaker 3: This is something I've thought about and talked about I just feel like people need to write down the amount of money they want, Yeah, and then we all get to look at it and we get to decide how you get there. Yeah, because certain people, I'm just like, how much money could you possibly need? 00:06:45 Speaker 4: No, and it's like, how much is a waste suitcase is giving them? 00:06:50 Speaker 2: You know? That's what I want? 00:06:51 Speaker 4: Like, it's so crazy because I have sponsors. You have sponsors. I'm not buying a house or paying my mortgage with them. But yeah, it's uh, yeah, I don't know. Again, I just feel like, what's going to happen for it to be worth it for Reese Witherspoon to do a podcast? You have to imagine the money is. 00:07:11 Speaker 3: I can't imagine. It would be lifetimes of money. 00:07:13 Speaker 2: Yeah. And you know, and we love her for exactly what is her podcast? I don't know. I'm here to promote it. 00:07:20 Speaker 4: Again, it seems likely that she has one or happened he heard her on podcasts Now. 00:07:25 Speaker 2: She's always out there. 00:07:27 Speaker 4: She's saying something, she's saying something. She's trying to get us on board with n f T S and AI she is Is that true? 00:07:35 Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah? 00:07:36 Speaker 4: She famously got in trouble when NFTs were you know, I mean, this was past the point where every thinking person knew that this was not going to happen, right, but she still tried to make it happen, and then recently had a video that was just like get on board now, you know with ai Oh, it's always like the girl boss take on evil technology there. 00:08:00 Speaker 3: And she is kind of the foremost book critic, yes of our time. 00:08:04 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I mean she really doesn't make it happen though for some of these books that some of them maybe should have been left in the airport, you know, But her greatest achievement is still the d uy. 00:08:19 Speaker 2: She was you know who I am. Well, you're about to find out it is her best work on her side, Yeah, I was on the person. 00:08:28 Speaker 4: Yeah, how couldn't you be, because it's like, who's she going to hit. 00:08:32 Speaker 3: Out there, out in some empty southern road, just blasting down the freeway. 00:08:37 Speaker 2: Again, obviously we're both very vehemently against. 00:08:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that, I mean, not to get too serious about it, the d U I is truly one of these things where I'm just like, this is a beyond horrible thing. 00:08:51 Speaker 4: It is, and it's so crazy, especially if you live in a city like ours, where there are a million options other than doing that. Like you, it's this isn't two thousand and six any You don't have to do that, not that anyone had a gun to your head and was forcing you to do it before, But it is so crazy when I know, if people are still getting duys, unbelievable to me. 00:09:10 Speaker 2: And it's like you're not even poor. You know, there's like for. 00:09:15 Speaker 3: Ninety eight percent of the population, if you should be able to figure out how to get home. Yeah, actually everybody walk home. Yeah, there's just literally no excuse. It's just to me, it's one crime where I'm just like, absolutely, I can't imagine any logic that leads. 00:09:31 Speaker 4: I hate it when I'm a friend offers to drive me and doesn't tell me that they are not in a position to be driving because they've put in my life at rest. 00:09:41 Speaker 2: This happened recently. 00:09:42 Speaker 4: I got in a car with somebody, not even really a friend, just in a quaint in somebody see out and we were going from one house party to another house party. 00:09:50 Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I can drive. And this was at this point like four or five am. 00:09:52 Speaker 3: Okay, so already exhausted. 00:09:55 Speaker 4: It should have been on my radar that he was probably not completely sober. 00:09:58 Speaker 2: And I asked him. 00:09:59 Speaker 4: I was like, you're good to right, and he was like absolutely. We got to the other party. He parked on the wrong side of the street. And this was in Palm Springs, which is a city seemingly designed for drunk drivers except for the one way straight too. But the roads are wider than any road in America, right because they know those people are swerving all over the place, and. 00:10:22 Speaker 3: The seniors driving, and God bless our seniors. But we know that driving can be a little tricky as well. 00:10:27 Speaker 4: People don't stop driving when they know they should, you know. And if we wait for that day to come, that day will never. 00:10:34 Speaker 2: Come from us people. No, no, no, no. 00:10:36 Speaker 3: My grandma's not ninety five and still driving, but she has the self awareness of I think it's about time. She just recently passed her test, which to me is well remarkable. She's passing the test, then you know, go for it. I guess I shouldn't be driving, honestly, I certainly shouldn't, but you should have seen me on the way here. 00:10:54 Speaker 2: I just got a new car, a new used car. 00:10:57 Speaker 4: Last night because I told my car last week, oh no, what I literally was in a fight with my husband, was like, I need to go drive around the block. Got in my car, drove about half a block away from my house, turned a corner. This is like in a My street is very narrow, it might as well be a one way street. But I was like turning around the corner and just came. I was like, my husband called me, and I looked down at the phone, looked up, and I was like, head on into somebody else. And the thing was, it wasn't even like a bad crash. 00:11:28 Speaker 2: No one was hurt. 00:11:29 Speaker 4: It cosmetically my car even looked like it should be fine. But it hit some sort of fluid container or something that they were like, no, it's not worth it. And so I had to go and visit the fine folks at CarMax, which I will say I bought a car on Monday, Okay, decided I didn't care enough about I don't have enough. I don't have a lot of vanity about cars in general. Like I've never had a car that I thought was like cool, right. It was always what I could afford and what seemed practical. And I bought a car and it was like slightly more money than the insurance gave me to buy. 00:12:03 Speaker 2: A car, okay. 00:12:05 Speaker 4: And then I got it home and I was like, I don't love this car enough or care enough about cars to have spent over the amount of money that the insurance gave me. So I took it right back yesterday. It returns a ten day return policy at CarMax. That's that to me feels like magic. It is like a car should not be able to be returned well. And then I returned it and exchanged it for a much older car. 00:12:25 Speaker 2: This is now. 00:12:26 Speaker 4: I have a car now that is four years young, older than my car that I just totaled and like twice the mile age. But it was also like six thousand dollars cheaper than the car. About it Monday, so I was like, who cares? And you know what, it is actually a cool car. It looks very cool. That's now it is very old. 00:12:46 Speaker 2: And what twenty nineteen, twenty eighty Oh that's not bad. Yeah, no, no, no, it's not like it's not like, you know, a different era, but it does. I am missing some of my twenty twenty three car. 00:12:56 Speaker 3: Right, I mean, you know, but there are certain features of newer cars that are absolutely the most annoying thing you could possibly I mean, like that taking control of the car, the amount of beeping that's going on. 00:13:09 Speaker 4: I had a rental and upset in New York last weekend and it kept telling me, Hey, you need. 00:13:13 Speaker 2: To take a do you need to take a break? 00:13:15 Speaker 3: You do it? 00:13:16 Speaker 2: Okay? 00:13:16 Speaker 4: It kept doing and I was like, and I think it's that eye motion sensors that's like keeping track of your eyes, and like I was like, bitch. 00:13:24 Speaker 2: I'm fine. 00:13:25 Speaker 3: That to me is such a distraction and I'm immediately mad. 00:13:28 Speaker 4: I was like, oh, are you okay? Yes, what's wrong with you right? Because you seem to be off if you're checking me. It was so annoying. 00:13:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like the sweet spot for cars was like probably twenty eighteen, when they had a lot of wonderful features, but not the beeping, not the tracking. 00:13:46 Speaker 2: Not every everything you do right being deeped. 00:13:49 Speaker 3: And I don't really care about even a backup camera, to be honest, I don't trust it. 00:13:53 Speaker 2: That, you know what. It's crazy. 00:13:54 Speaker 4: I only just in the last couple of years really stopped looking behind me physically, and it was so crazy because I remember when I bought that car that I just totaled. I had like a young gen Z salesperson doing the test ride with me, and he did not know how to do to like without a back a camera. 00:14:14 Speaker 2: He just couldn't. 00:14:15 Speaker 4: And it's the whole generation of people now and then some who are not learning fundamental skills. 00:14:20 Speaker 3: That's because that's really one that you may have to use it somewhat. The camera is going to die. 00:14:25 Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's not like it's a mechanically difficult maneuver, no bit of moving. 00:14:31 Speaker 3: Your body kind of what you do in other parts of reality. 00:14:35 Speaker 4: Lots of them can't parallel park well. I mean without that, I can't say mouth yeah. I mean granted, that is something that I'm afflicted with. That skill comes and goes for me. 00:14:46 Speaker 2: It really does depends. I'm like, oh my god, I'm I remember. 00:14:49 Speaker 4: Everything like, oh, line yourself up here, turn the wheel here, But if anyone is watching. 00:14:54 Speaker 3: Me, do it out the window? No, forget it, No I will. I'll try ten times while they watch, and then I'll leave. 00:15:01 Speaker 2: Yep. And that is Have you lived in New York? Yes? But in drive well. 00:15:06 Speaker 4: No, obviously, I like, who never should you attempt it? I had to drive twice when I lived in New York, and it was this two of the scariest days of my entire life. But this is the thing I always say about the differences between you or in LA is that you know, I would much rather be stuck on the subway between stations for twenty minutes straight then be at my destination driving around the block angrily because I can't find parking, Like I am there, but I can't be there, right, you know, And it is it's it's it's like five times. 00:15:37 Speaker 2: Is infuriating as being stuck on public transit. 00:15:39 Speaker 3: I don't mind the I was just talking about this. I don't mind kind of especially if it's like a social event having some time to waste driving around. Oh you want to run out the clock, Yes, running out the clock and then getting there was something to complain about. 00:15:52 Speaker 2: Feel that's fair, all right? 00:15:53 Speaker 3: But I mean I I lived in mid City, LA for years when I first moved here, and I would literally have to park half a mile from my house every day. 00:16:03 Speaker 2: So it was just this parking when I lived in Hollywood. 00:16:07 Speaker 4: When I first moved here Central Hollywood, I twice had a guy that guys who were coming over from grinder to hookup who aborted the hookup because they were driving. They would drive around for twenty plus minutes looking for parking, and when they finally couldn't find parking, they were just like, sorry, let's understand it not worth it now, like physically impossible. 00:16:27 Speaker 2: Yeah. It was terrible. And the the worst part was is I would do this to people and not really warn them because I didn't want them to not of course they simply won't. Yeah. 00:16:36 Speaker 4: It felt a little bit like Entrapman sometimes because often more often than not, they would come sweaty and angry that they had to drive around so long to find parking. 00:16:46 Speaker 2: But they did it, you know, and there's a little spark then. 00:16:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, they bring a spark that most people don't have because they're about hatred. 00:16:54 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:16:55 Speaker 2: Well, I think there is something else we should talk about. 00:16:58 Speaker 3: Okay, you were on the pod cast a few years ago, kind of in the fog of COVID, and the podcast is called I said no Gifts. You brought a gift. Then it became a little bit of an issue, but we moved on. Oh, I mean, show up today with what from where I'm sitting appears to be a gift. 00:17:14 Speaker 2: Well, and you know what, that's sort of in the eye of the beholder, because this, you know, you could call it a gift if you wanted to, or you could say I'm presenting you with something that I think you deserve. 00:17:25 Speaker 3: I like, I'm going to take the second option. 00:17:28 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just simply presenting you with something that I think you deserve. 00:17:34 Speaker 3: I'm excited to see what I deserve. This is a dense, heavy it's heavy. It's a kind of a just a regular gift box and a gorgeous striped paper and it's it's heavy, heavier than you would expect. 00:17:48 Speaker 2: Okay, Oh, I feel like we're not getting enough tissue wrap. Oh yeah, give it? What is what are those people called who get aroused by the ASMR pay something like that? 00:17:58 Speaker 3: It feels good. Okay, I'm just okay, we're reaching in. Oh my god, don't worry. 00:18:09 Speaker 2: It's not like a Russian nesting dolls situation. It's the last leg. Okay, we're pulling it out. I really felt like you deserved this. 00:18:17 Speaker 4: What best Comedy Podcast, Bridger, because I know you don't have one of like this. 00:18:23 Speaker 2: You don't have an award of your own like this. So I figured that you. 00:18:27 Speaker 4: If anyone deserves Best Comedy Podcast from the Asian American Podcasting Association, it's Bridger. 00:18:37 Speaker 2: I've been trying to. 00:18:38 Speaker 3: Get this exact work, exactly the Golden Crane. It's been it's become problematic. People are begging me to stop. It is obviously it is something that is close to my heart. 00:18:52 Speaker 2: I want it for along with micho Har. 00:18:55 Speaker 4: She was just and she also not Asian, but still they still gave it to her. And this was for Urgent Care my last podcastrom Ri I P And Yeah, I think that more awards should work like this. You should be able to give your award away. It should be like recognized by the governing board of whatever, like whoever gave. 00:19:21 Speaker 3: You right now, I now am the holder of this thing. 00:19:25 Speaker 4: And that's an easy adjust on the names there, that's an easy adjust, of course. 00:19:30 Speaker 2: Yes, of course, this feels almost like the ring or something. 00:19:34 Speaker 4: I mean, this is like like meant to be the murder weapon in an Hboius drama. 00:19:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy that point at the top. This is something you pick up in a ball. 00:19:45 Speaker 4: I mean, honestly, half the reason I'm giving this to you is because I feel in safe with it. 00:19:49 Speaker 2: In my own home, this. 00:19:50 Speaker 3: Would be one of those crazy Hollywood murders, your head getting bashed, Like, I'm going to put. 00:19:55 Speaker 4: That on a shelf on my wall with my other trophies and wards in Quake Country exactly. 00:20:02 Speaker 2: That's crazy. That's crazy. 00:20:04 Speaker 3: But here in the studio, this is gonna be so dense. 00:20:07 Speaker 2: I think it's going to look really great and it. 00:20:09 Speaker 3: Goes so perfect intimidating because like the guests, most guests are not going to realize they're gonna see this and think, wow, this thing is one and he's want and no more. This adds some actual legitimacy to the podcast. 00:20:21 Speaker 4: I feel really good about this. I also know Mitra has hers, so I'm going to try to get just one. Yeah, oh my god, yes that is. I'm going to start collecting this exact trophy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't even know, Like there was no awards ceremony that right, because this was twenty twenty yeah, and it was a during lockdown. 00:20:43 Speaker 3: It must have been, so they must have mailed it to you. I guess that's an expensive thing to mail. 00:20:48 Speaker 2: It's as heavy as heavy and again we cannstiss is enough dangerous? 00:20:54 Speaker 3: Did you like have to do a zoom acceptance speech or anything. 00:20:58 Speaker 2: Nothing. 00:20:58 Speaker 4: I think they've instagram messaged me and she said you won, and said that I could be wrong. 00:21:03 Speaker 2: It was very casual whatever it was. 00:21:05 Speaker 3: I kind of like that, a very casual award. So just take all the pomp and circumstance out of it. 00:21:10 Speaker 2: Give me the trophy. 00:21:12 Speaker 3: Don't drag us everybody through this whole ceremony. 00:21:15 Speaker 2: It's boring. Oh no, no, just let people. 00:21:17 Speaker 3: Get it and then they can announce to their friends and family. 00:21:20 Speaker 2: Look that I've got. 00:21:22 Speaker 3: I think that that's perfectly fine. So you and Metro probably found out separately. 00:21:27 Speaker 2: They might it might have been a group DM on Instagram. It just looks like total spam. 00:21:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, spam has gone a very It's really gone up on Instagram recently. I'm getting a lot of my friend saw you and she would like to meet, which I think I'm eventually I'm going to dive into one of those and it's going to turn me straight. 00:21:47 Speaker 4: It is so funny that they don't, like, they don't really account for the context of our desires. There's really like, no, there's there sort of a bunch at the wall. I will say it is funny because if you're on like, I don't know if you've heard gay men on the internet complain about this, but there is like a certain kind of gay guy who complains endlessly about the number of trans women on Grinder. Right, Okay, I know it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous because in part what they find to be a preponderance is actually statistically quite low. But even still, I found this out from someone that the majority of those profiles are bots. Because what happens is these people who release the bots into Grinder, they do probably an equal number of gay guys and these trans girls, but what ends up happening is the AI that's producing them and knowing which ones to replicate. Gay guys are smart enough to know when they're talking to a bot, and they abort almost immediately, right, they catch on pretty quickly. Straight men who are looking for trans women to hook up with are not smart enough to know when they're talking to a bot. So what ends up happening is it's this feedback where because the only ones that are successful are the trans profiles, they're creating even more that's amazing because those are the ones that are hitting and so all it's like and even and again I kind of stress is enough even with the fake ones. 00:23:12 Speaker 2: The numbers are so low and easy to ignore. I mean, it's I mean like. 00:23:16 Speaker 4: But but the but the reality of it is is that it's even less than what they're complaining about. 00:23:21 Speaker 3: I just don't think the complaining makes zero science. 00:23:24 Speaker 2: It's just like, what are you? You know? 00:23:25 Speaker 4: It makes your sense to me too. And inevitably the one that the number one retort is always like, well, they should get their own app. And here's the problem boys, is that again, statistically so few of them that there is no like, there's no reason to have an app. It's just so crazy to me the things that game in we'll find a complain about. 00:23:46 Speaker 2: I feel like we should have kept marriage from us for a long so because they got it, and boy did they a little uppity. Now that we got marriage, now we can find some new stupid ship to come. Oh not enough, not enough, I mean. And the thing is is it could go away at any day, any day. Yeah, and I'm I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, you see this, it's it's over. 00:24:16 Speaker 3: I'm The thing about bots on Grinder or any kind of dating app is does it lead to like being like I need money. 00:24:22 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's like money or like personal information so that they can go and seal your identity stuff like that. Right, But again, I'm a gay guy, so I'm smart enough to have never been caught up in one. 00:24:34 Speaker 2: Yeah, like far down the Road is just so dark. Yeah, it is so crazy. But no one is forcing you to talk to anyone on that app right, exactly. That's I mean, it's like I can guarantee you that most of the dolls I know are not looking at you and saying, oh god, I hope, I hope, I no, like one of like they probably couldn't even pick you up out of a line. Oh you're a white guy with a fade and a shoulder tattoo and one in a MILLI some five o'clock shadow couldn't imagine who you could be. 00:25:11 Speaker 3: It's so yeah, that sort of thing just drives me. 00:25:15 Speaker 2: I don't know. 00:25:15 Speaker 4: And it is that thing of like we assume, as we no longer feel we need to be a part of a big coalition, we feel safe. 00:25:24 Speaker 2: Well, it's exactly what you're saying human behavior. 00:25:26 Speaker 4: It's like, oh no, like I don't want to be a part of a coalition that that has that you know, isn't all just made up of people like me exactly up, which is like so historically like anathema to this entire movement. 00:25:38 Speaker 2: It's so crazy. 00:25:39 Speaker 3: There's that kind of no fixing it at this point. 00:25:42 Speaker 4: Well, I could think of a few things, but a lot of them are genocide adjacent. 00:25:46 Speaker 3: You're keeping those from when you run the office. Ah okay, so I have this award here, do you have any interests? Like is goal wise would you be like I would love to win a like an Emmy or an Oscar or anything, or is that something where it's like if it comes along. 00:26:02 Speaker 4: It is one of those things where, like I think, when you're young, you're really like, oh, that would be so cool, and that is a part of the dreamscape of whatever career in the arts. 00:26:11 Speaker 2: You're sort of sketching out for yourself. 00:26:13 Speaker 4: And then you go through a phase I think, or at least I did, where once I understood a little bit more about the mechanics and everything of this industry, I set my sights on much more attainable goals, and I went through a long period where you know, I was had a day job, but was pursuing things in like the best I could have hoped for. The best outcome I could have hoped for for myself was getting a staff writing job, right right right. That was like, if I could make that happen in my lifetime, I will have done it and been fine and and so then like you stop expecting awards, and then I think you do hit another phase where like you get successful enough or certainly when it happens like I got. It's funny, I said in two thousand and fourteen. It must have been thirteen or twenty fourteen. I made my iPhone start addressing me as Golden Globe nominee Joel Kim Booster. 00:27:06 Speaker 2: Which is so. 00:27:06 Speaker 4: Funny because even then, in my early twenties, when I had when literally for this bit, I could have imagined any outcome for myself, and the best I could come up with in my wildest dreams was Golden Globe nominee Joel Kim Booster. 00:27:22 Speaker 2: And it was so funny. 00:27:23 Speaker 4: Whenever someone will find my phone at a party or something and do the thing where they're like, hey, Siri, who are you, it would say like I. 00:27:28 Speaker 2: Belonged to Golden Globe nominee Joel Kim Booster. I didn't even know you could do this. 00:27:32 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah you could be like you could just ask Suriya, hey, sorry, call me this and and it'll start. 00:27:37 Speaker 2: It'll change your name to that when it when it uses it. 00:27:41 Speaker 4: But yeah, and then for Fire Island, I got nominated for an Emmy all that's right. And it was this funny like sort of like I secreted this into happening in some way because I, for you, for like almost a decade, had my iPhone calling me Golden Globe nomina me. But now I'm Emmy nominee. I should change it in my phone. I should change it, you know. Yeah, things will go very quick. 00:28:05 Speaker 2: I might have changed it to Emmy nominee after it happened. 00:28:07 Speaker 4: But again, like this is the thing too about this the the phase when you are in the position to be going to award shows and stuff like that, is that like it becomes so incredibly uncool to care, right, you know, right, this is why I'm so grateful to be in a relationship with someone outside the industry, because when I went to the Emmys, like you aren't even allowed to like be excited, because it's like you'll look lame, you'll look cringe. It's embarrassing to care about stuff like that, And like all of my friends who are in the industry, we're all at a level now where it's like, well, yeah, of course it's your job, Like, this is your job, This is a normal part of any of your job. You should just you know, take it in as just another day because it's just your job. And then my husband, to his credit, you know, could sense that energy for me at the Emmys and at one point was like, Hey, you've wanted this your entire life. Stop trying to be mister cool guy like pad Malakshmi's standing over there and we watch her on TV. 00:29:00 Speaker 2: This is really cool and allow yourself to feel that. 00:29:02 Speaker 4: And it was a nice level reset because I did then sort of take in the enormity of like even just being nominated at something like this, because again, it's just was so far out of reach for me, or it seemed to be for so long, and now it's like this, I'm in this again, this weird position where it's like, well, if then if I never produce work that gets you know, attention from an award's body, again, am I have? 00:29:25 Speaker 2: I did I peak? Did I like? 00:29:28 Speaker 4: And you don't I don't want that to be the way I frame, you know, everything going forward, but it is this now. I'm in the period of my career where it's all about sort of resetting the goalposts and figuring. 00:29:42 Speaker 2: Out where they are, because you know. 00:29:44 Speaker 4: I'm very lucky to have achieved as much as I have, you know, in my career. But it is like scary when you're like, well what now totally you know. 00:29:53 Speaker 3: No, I feel like it's I never think passed things working out? Yeah, no, And then when it does, I'm just like, oh my god, what am I supposed to do? 00:30:04 Speaker 4: Now? 00:30:04 Speaker 2: This was never a part of the plan. 00:30:06 Speaker 4: Well, And it's interesting too because like we also live in a period now where fame has kind of all but been exercised from the equation for at least people like us, because like, there is no famous person anymore. No, there is no one who is truly famous to everyone on this planet or in this country even there's very few people, like there are no real movie stars being created anymore, Like Timothy Shalla may maybe the last one, and that's even arguable to a lot of people. But at least I feel like most of America knows who that is, or Emma Stone or something like that. 00:30:37 Speaker 2: But yeah, there's just no Like. 00:30:39 Speaker 4: I it's so funny because I'm like, yeah, I'm probably never gonna be famous in the way that I know I imagine fame when I was a kid, because that kind of fame doesn't exist anymore. 00:30:50 Speaker 3: No, you would have I'm trying to think of a way you could even get there. At this point, it seems impossible. 00:30:55 Speaker 2: No, it would have. I talk about a goalpost. 00:30:57 Speaker 4: I would never clear because it's just like the things you have to do is you have to be kind of big in a way that is so broad that I could never see myself being appealing to that many people. I'm by like sort of virtue of who I am in the boxes that I check and the things that I'm interested in. Am a niche property and will remain So. 00:31:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, I guess, shoot, somebody, oh yeah, I think that might be a yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:31:29 Speaker 4: Everybody knows LUIGIIONI. You know that's not to encourage, but uh oh, we should be careful because now people have been pulled off the air for saying less. You know, I used to say crazy shit online and no one said boo, no one like I got away with murder. 00:31:47 Speaker 2: Once upon a time on Twitter. 00:31:49 Speaker 4: I tweeted, verbatim, I will burn Greg Abbot's house to the ground. 00:31:53 Speaker 2: This was after he banned abortion in Texas. 00:31:56 Speaker 4: And literally could not imagine saying that any Republican today, Oh my god, without being arrested on the spot. Now, to be fair, two LAPD detectives did show up to my house the next day and they were like, sir, do you have any plans of driving to Texas and setting Governor Great Abbot's house on fire? 00:32:14 Speaker 2: And I was like no, and. 00:32:16 Speaker 4: They were like, okay, then why would you say that? And I was like, because it's funny. I was like, the like, the premise of that statement is hilarious that I Joel Kim Booster like sealless gay comedian elder millennial would take the time to drive to Texas to set a man's house on fire. 00:32:35 Speaker 2: That's funny, you know. 00:32:36 Speaker 4: And then they were they both sighed really deeply and were like okay, and then left like nothing happened. 00:32:43 Speaker 3: They've got to hire somebody who like filters these sort of things, because there's a lot of wasted time. Yeah, I remember there's I had a friend who made some sort of threat about killing the president on Twitter and she was visited by secret servants. 00:33:00 Speaker 4: Yeah, like, well, you know, Guy Brandham once wrote something for his school newspaper about Chelsea Clinton and the Secret Service showed up. 00:33:07 Speaker 2: What did he write about Chelsea? 00:33:08 Speaker 4: You know what? 00:33:08 Speaker 2: It's not my tale to tell. You'll have. 00:33:12 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, but you can imagine, right, you know Guy brand Yes, we all know Guy Brandon. We all know he pops the fuck off without without fear showing up his dorm. 00:33:24 Speaker 3: Oh. I would have loved to see that conversation. 00:33:26 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Can you imagine the way he would dog walk those secret services? 00:33:29 Speaker 3: Absolutely broken? I feel that way when I just have a nice conversation with guy. 00:33:41 Speaker 2: Ah. 00:33:41 Speaker 3: Well, I think we should play a game. Yeah, we're gonna play a couple of games. Actually, let's get into this. I need a number between one and ten from you. Uh seven, Okay, I'm gonna do some like calculating. You can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. 00:33:55 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:33:55 Speaker 4: I have not won an award for this podcast. My new podcast, Intimacy Coordinator. It's out via the SmartLess Media network. You can listen to it wherever you find podcasts, and it is just simply me sitting down with two or three guests to talk about relationships and love, insects and dating and everything to do with those worlds. 00:34:14 Speaker 2: And we're having a lot of fun. 00:34:16 Speaker 4: And I would appreciate the streams because God knows, I have nothing else going on, as we've previously stated. And really again, if you told me ten years ago that I'd be Emmy nominated but the center of my career would be a podcast, I would have had a lot of feelings about that. Lots of other stuff coming around the pike, though I know it, I feel it, and you could be found online and found online I hate Joel Kim, but you know what, I'm barely on socials anymore. I'm on Instagram exclusively to post clips of my podcast, right and then I leave. I don't have the icon on my phone, so I can't. I don't have the phantom urge to like poke at it, you know, New York Times Games and specifically cross Play is now. I spend more like three times the hours on my phone on that app than Instagram's, and it's delightful, the happiest I've ever been in my life. I haven't heard of cross play though, what's this? Oh my god, it's just scrabble that you play with other people on your phone. 00:35:15 Speaker 2: And it is also this. 00:35:16 Speaker 4: It's it's scrabbled, but easier because you don't actually have to know the word exists. You could just sort of place letters and it will tell you if it's actually a word. Like I did not realize that Q I. 00:35:28 Speaker 2: S is a word? What does that mean? Don't couldn't tell you did. I just look at my letters and sort of place the S there and it lit up like it was a word, and now I play it all the coddamn time. Kiss Chris. 00:35:41 Speaker 4: Couldn't tell you the game? I actually I think there is a function that will tell you the definition, but. 00:35:48 Speaker 2: I've never looked at it. 00:35:49 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to look this up because I am curious because. 00:35:52 Speaker 2: I play against some friends where I'm like, I know, you didn't know that was a word. This was sitting in the back of your vocap. 00:35:59 Speaker 4: You'll put the letters together in a combination that seemed to make sense and it worked out for you, you know, And I've done the same. 00:36:09 Speaker 2: All right. 00:36:09 Speaker 3: Well, I found one definition from something called well my favorite dictionary win every game dot Com. It says it's the circulating life energy that in Chinese philosophy is thought to be inherent in all things. In traditional Chinese medicine, the balance of negative and positive forms in the body is believed to be essential for good health. 00:36:28 Speaker 2: So it's pronounced is it chi? I guess? 00:36:31 Speaker 3: And this it's the plural, so it's just q qi And yeah, I think chi. 00:36:38 Speaker 2: Okay. Interesting, I've been speaking about chi for a long time and I had no idea. 00:36:42 Speaker 1: Yes that way. 00:36:43 Speaker 3: Maybe I guess you can spell it either way or something. 00:36:45 Speaker 2: Is that how it works? I don't know. 00:36:48 Speaker 3: I learned a new word recently that I well, I'm just going to share it because why not. Have you heard of something called bit flipping? 00:36:57 Speaker 4: No, but I you know there's a I could take a couple of stabs at what it means, but I won't. It has Does it have something to do with like someone else who started a joke and then you sort of take it over and try and make it into your own joke. 00:37:10 Speaker 3: That's horrifying, But that is podcast. This is somehow scarier. I was reading an article about how a plane over Florida just dropped out of the sky for five seconds. It didn't crash, but it dropped out of the sky and they could not figure out what had happened to it. Every manufacturer of every part of this plane looked into it. 00:37:31 Speaker 2: They couldn't figure it out. 00:37:32 Speaker 3: And I learned about the likelihood is that it was a bit flipping, which is space radiation is you know, constantly flying through the planet and occasionally will fly through a computer and we'll flip, just like a one within the code, and we'll make the thing malfunction. Usually it's like a pixel on a screen will go out. But in this case they think that's what happened on this plane. 00:37:57 Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy. 00:37:59 Speaker 3: I feel like if I have to live with that in that everyone does. 00:38:03 Speaker 2: Everyone with that, that is so crazy that like, I'm sorry, we live in a simulation a real thing. That added to the pile, because that's just crazy and does not feel like it should be a thing. Yeah, that I like, we should ground all planes. Yeah, we just anymore. 00:38:22 Speaker 3: If that's even an option, it's against it. Yeah, we just can't do it anymore. I was already struggling with planes whatever. Now that I've just panicked the listener, they were probably just about. 00:38:33 Speaker 2: The plane right now, listening to that. Oh my god, Let's play a game. First. 00:38:38 Speaker 3: We're gonna play a game called invite lists. 00:38:40 Speaker 2: I love this game. Oh good, you know how it works. 00:38:42 Speaker 3: Okay, for the listener who hasn't, I'm going to start naming a list of celebrities. You get to pick ten, you say invited or not invited, and you can tell me why if you want cool. 00:38:50 Speaker 2: Once we get to ten, that's the party. Okay. 00:38:53 Speaker 3: Judy Dench invited, John cho and Trent Reznor not invited, Kevin Hart not invited, Adele invited, Laurie Grenere. 00:39:11 Speaker 2: Mmm, that's tough. You know. If I'm gonna have one of them there, it's not gonna be Lauria unfortunately. Who would have been Barbara? 00:39:18 Speaker 4: Barbara, Yeah, but not even because I think she's the best shark. But I do think that she'd be the most interesting one to have our own, right. I feel like she's got stories. 00:39:27 Speaker 2: She's got stories, she's a woman of the people. Yeah, she talked to anybody. Barbara strikes me as a taker anywhere, kind of go total. 00:39:35 Speaker 3: So I know to Laurie not invited, sorry, Laurie, Erica Baudou. 00:39:40 Speaker 4: Oh invited, because I know she's not gonna show up, and if she does, it's going to be right as the party's ending. 00:39:47 Speaker 3: That's a good guest to have somebody that you can just kind of you don't have to worry about prepping food for Anthony Hopkins not invited. 00:39:54 Speaker 2: Christina Ritchie just for the second space, not invited, Joan Cusack invited, Kevin Costner not invited. Tim Allen. We got a couple. Yeah, wow, uh, not invited. That would be that they're going to their own party. 00:40:11 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're already at a party somewhere in the mountains. Kevin Durant oof not him, not not invited. 00:40:18 Speaker 2: Jacob A. Lordie not invited. 00:40:20 Speaker 3: Too tall, one of the tallest here, one of our tallest people. Yeah, Sarah Michelle Geller. 00:40:27 Speaker 2: Oh. 00:40:27 Speaker 4: And the thing is is I said no to Christina, so I feel like I have to say no to Sarah too. 00:40:32 Speaker 2: It's only fair, totally fair. 00:40:33 Speaker 3: Quentin Tarantino, no party. 00:40:37 Speaker 2: No because I'm a shoes off household and I don't need that energy in my house. 00:40:43 Speaker 3: Wow, that's something I don't think anybody's thought about. 00:40:47 Speaker 2: I mean, well, they should be. Everybody that's having him over. Yeah. 00:40:52 Speaker 3: Laurence Fishburne not invited, Pete Davidson, No, Hillary Swink not invited. Man not invited, Stockard Channing not invited, Making the Stallion invited. 00:41:09 Speaker 4: Bobby Flay, Oh invited. I you have no idea my relationship with Bobby. 00:41:14 Speaker 2: What is it. 00:41:15 Speaker 4: I've watched so much of his content on television because when I am on the road touring as a stand up comic, I am in a hotel and I am watching the Food Network on analog. Tell them I'm just thinking about Hotel TV last night. 00:41:27 Speaker 2: It's the best remove choice from my life, absolutely, And I will sit and watch things I never thought I would sit and watch the things I'll be exposed to FX on the weekends. 00:41:38 Speaker 4: You know, my ass is sitting down for Battleship. Okay, and just the last forty five minutes. 00:41:43 Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't mean the whole thing. It was just fed to you. Yeah. 00:41:46 Speaker 4: I'm bouncing back and forth between Beat Bobby Flay and Battleship on the commercials. 00:41:50 Speaker 2: The best feeling in the war. 00:41:51 Speaker 4: Most of the best. So yes, he's invited, for sure. I know way too much about him. 00:41:55 Speaker 2: Jane Seymour, Oh, love doctor Quinn, but not invited. There's a lot of Republicans seeming people on this list. Do we think Jane Seymour's Republican? I would venture to guess that she's at least. 00:42:07 Speaker 3: Shane who's the other from Touched by an Angel who's married to the horror. 00:42:12 Speaker 2: Yeah. Paul McCartney, Oh, not invited, Get over it. 00:42:19 Speaker 4: Jeremy Brenner, No again, he's going to Tim Allen, Kevin Costner's party. 00:42:24 Speaker 3: They are going to say they're coming and they're not going to show up. 00:42:28 Speaker 2: Went on a writer invited? Nick Carter No, not invited. Oh I have Kevin cost he really wants an invite to this party. Jay Z not invited. Nathan Fielder invited. 00:42:46 Speaker 5: All right, that's nine one left. 00:42:49 Speaker 3: Kate Winslet not invited, Ringo Star not invited, Bill Gates not invited, Donald Glover not invited, Tom Selleck. 00:43:01 Speaker 2: Wow, George Lucas invited. 00:43:08 Speaker 3: We go interesting? Yeah, very interesting. 00:43:11 Speaker 2: So many guys that my dad would have loved. Oh yeah, at a party truly? Likewise, Wow, that's a good list. Yet, remind me who's going to be at this party? Of list? Will you tell us who's at the party? 00:43:22 Speaker 5: I will, All right, it's going to be Judy Dench, John Show that, Adele, Erica bad, Joan Cusack, Meghan the Stallion, Bobby Flay, Winona Ryder, Nathan Fielder, and George Lucas. 00:43:37 Speaker 3: It's gonna be a weird conversation is going to be. 00:43:41 Speaker 4: I mean, Megan and Adele are running the show. They're at the center of the table the show. 00:43:47 Speaker 2: You know. 00:43:48 Speaker 4: That's just like I'm I'm winding up the Ferby and just letting it gab at that one. That's that's actually my favorite kind of party when I can sort of trust that someone else is doing the social heavy. 00:44:00 Speaker 3: For me to host a party alone, I'll sleep for days. I need somebody else handling some of that. Well, you played that game very well. We're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse, And of course I don't have the document open. 00:44:15 Speaker 4: Well, I'll recommend in the meantime, Yeah, please do diet coke with a little bit of apple cider or vinegar in it. What It's fucking amazing. 00:44:22 Speaker 2: It's the best thing I've ever drank. 00:44:24 Speaker 3: Does it have kind of like a lime effect a little bit? 00:44:28 Speaker 4: It is a little bit of a tartness, but it is like for something about it because you know, a lot of things are alternative, like sweetener is a lot of it is apple cider, vinegar based, depending on the drink, because it's it's it's no, it's very low and it's like good for you, right, but it tastes great. I think you can do it with regular coke too. You can't do it with coke zero. 00:44:50 Speaker 2: Oh interesting? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend. How much are you putting in just a splash? 00:44:54 Speaker 4: I would say, like maybe like a two centimeters worth it. 00:44:59 Speaker 2: I'm so excited. 00:45:00 Speaker 4: My husband puts in a lot more than I do, and I don't. I don't recommend that at least to start, right. 00:45:05 Speaker 2: I like it apple cider and in a diet coke it is so good. Wow, it's not unlike what they do in Spain with like coke and red wine. Oh interesting, right, that makes sense. Coke is just a good a better bass flavor than you'd expect. Fascinating. 00:45:20 Speaker 3: Oh what I mean I've learned something today? Thank God. Okay, we're gonna play gift a curse. I'm going to name three things. You tell me if they're a gift to a curse and why, then I'll say if you're right or wrong, because there are correct Okay, all right. This first one is from other surnamed Kristen gift to a curse seafood cobb salad. 00:45:39 Speaker 4: This is so important to know the context of where we're getting this seafood cob salad. 00:45:44 Speaker 2: But I'm gonna say it's a general rule. 00:45:47 Speaker 4: Curse why because seafood in and any restaurant in most places in America is a bad idea. I would say, because like seafood cups salad is screams to me lots of like thirty plus items on the menu. And if I've learned anything from watching Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsay, it is that any restaurant with more than like say, like a dozen or so menu items something's good. 00:46:15 Speaker 2: Like it's not good. 00:46:17 Speaker 4: Most restaurants should not be able to sustain the number of menu items that say, the average diner has, because it's like, how often do you think the seafood copsalad is getting ordered at a diner? 00:46:29 Speaker 1: Right? 00:46:30 Speaker 2: How old do you think that seafood is? But it's been frozen for so long and then you're not enjoying like, oh, I mean, I've given it away. Cursed and also I just think cop salad, we've we've got, we got to a great place with cops salad. I don't need anything new. It's also like the like creamy dressing with shrip. 00:46:52 Speaker 4: I don't know, it seems freemon fish now with a blue cheese too, like ugh. 00:46:59 Speaker 2: Textural nightmare. Okay. 00:47:01 Speaker 3: This next one is from a listener named Andrea. A gift or a curse being welcomed to a restaurant by your server, then overhearing your server give the same welcome speech verbatim to nearby diners who were seated after you. 00:47:12 Speaker 4: I'm gonna say gift because I think it releases you from trying to form a connection with your server, because that's the pressure that I feel when I go out to restaurants and I have a moment that I think is a genuine individual moment between me and the server, and then I go, oh, God, now I have to maintain this connection through the entire meal. 00:47:35 Speaker 2: And to hear that, I would go, oh, he's just doing his job. He's not interested in a friendship with me, Thank god, because I have the position has been filled. I have too many. 00:47:45 Speaker 3: Already adult friendship yeah correct, Okay, yes, I absolutely think this is a gift. I like, I just I need a barrier. I need to know that this is your coming. You're going to doing your job professionally. I'll be getting my food on time. And I'm glad that they're not being treated any better than me. 00:48:07 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it's the same with the guys on rentmen. You know you're coming, You're doing your job, that's all we need. 00:48:16 Speaker 3: Okay, finally, this is from a listener named Douglas. Gift a curse when you are the planner of your friend group. 00:48:25 Speaker 4: Okay, wow, I'm gonna ultimately say this is a gift that it often is mistaken for a curse, you know, if the person sees it as a gift or a curse, depending on how they came to that position, Because this is a position that is often thrust on people by less organized, more lucy goosey flakes onto the just sort of grading on that curve the most responsible of the bunch, not taking into. 00:48:54 Speaker 2: Account their desire for the role. 00:48:56 Speaker 4: This is also often taken on by someone who does not want to leave it up to those yahoos and crazy people to plan the vacation, because you know what kind of vacation you're going to get if you allow, you know, Matt to do all the planning. And so I am oftentimes the planner of my group and the organizer of my group, and I think I do a really good job, and I really I as stressful as it can be. 00:49:23 Speaker 2: I would rather have it done by me correctly. Yeah, And it just kind of comes naturally, or do you. Yeah, and I and I volunteer distribute. It was not thrust upon me. So like I knew what I was getting into. 00:49:35 Speaker 4: I knew the downsides that would come along with the role. But I still weighing that against the you know, idea of ending up at you know, a drag brunch in you know, New Orleans. 00:49:52 Speaker 2: Would I would much rather have control wrong curse. 00:49:58 Speaker 3: Oh, this is the last thing in the world I will Yeah. 00:50:00 Speaker 2: I mean I did give the reasons for both. 00:50:03 Speaker 3: You're making yourself the target every I mean everything that goes wrong. I mean, how could I possibly enjoy anything that's planned. I'll just feel the responsibility if I get If I look at my phone and it has more than six texts, I shut down. 00:50:19 Speaker 4: Yeah, we're very different people, because for me, if something goes wrong, then even better, I get to be a martyr. I get to be a victim, and that I think is that's a very good, greatest feeling. That is a very I'm not giving you the point, but that's an excellent defense. I'm always looking for reasons to be the part. We got two out of three. 00:50:40 Speaker 2: Not too bad. I feel good about it. Elis, do you have a gift to a curse? Today? I can have one one moment. 00:50:45 Speaker 3: Ellis is going to now do one for both of us, and we'll both answer. Then they have the correct answer. 00:50:50 Speaker 2: Who decides the listener? You kind of the. 00:50:52 Speaker 3: Universe, got it? It's kind of just true. 00:50:55 Speaker 2: Yeah, if you know what I mean. 00:50:56 Speaker 3: Objective, there's kind of just no arguing I'm whether what I say is correct or not. 00:51:03 Speaker 2: It's just I'm a conduit essentially, all right. 00:51:08 Speaker 5: Gift or a curse? A grown man playing air guitar? 00:51:12 Speaker 2: Hmm, that's a curse. 00:51:14 Speaker 4: Why because I don't need to know about the everything that didn't happen in that man's life to bring him to this place, and that it just is like it is like that sentence, a grown man playing air guitar is for sale. 00:51:31 Speaker 2: Baby, She's never. 00:51:31 Speaker 4: Worn to me because it tells a full story without you know, but economically, you know, you just like it's it depresses you, it makes you sad, and you don't need to know further details about it for that. 00:51:46 Speaker 2: To be true. I'm going to say gift. 00:51:49 Speaker 3: I think that if that's a short story, it's a celebration. I'm happy for this person. I think it's a thrill and good for him, good for him for is rocking out. 00:52:04 Speaker 2: It's a gift, yes. 00:52:05 Speaker 5: Because I think if more grown men were playing air guitar, we'd have a lot less problems in. 00:52:09 Speaker 4: That they'd be doing keep their hands busy with air guitar rather than whatever else they're getting into. 00:52:16 Speaker 2: You know what. 00:52:16 Speaker 4: I agree ultimately, I and framing it that way fully agree. 00:52:21 Speaker 3: Yeah, that really makes there's competitions, you know, oh yeah, and the people are like they're actually good. 00:52:27 Speaker 4: It is one of those things where you look at somebody who's doing it at a competition level and you're like, okay, well this is art. 00:52:32 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:52:32 Speaker 3: It's like, oh that's something that I didn't imagine could be good. 00:52:35 Speaker 4: Yeah, certainly, not something that you felt like someone could make seem difficult, right. 00:52:41 Speaker 2: You know, it feels like everyone should just be able to it is on the same level. It seems like sort of the appeal of air guitars that anyone. 00:52:47 Speaker 4: Could doesn't require the years of training that guitar requires from you. 00:52:52 Speaker 2: But ultimately it's mine. Yeah, that's true. More it's Comedia dell ar. 00:52:58 Speaker 3: Okay, let's answer this her question really quickly. People are writing into I said no gifts at gmail dot com, and then I end up kind of responsible. 00:53:05 Speaker 2: For their lives. 00:53:07 Speaker 3: This says, what would you get as a gift for a man who is turning forty five, does not want additional clothing and is specific about what he wears, watches his caloric intake, and has enough disposable income to get anything he fancies. 00:53:20 Speaker 2: That's from Rita. I'm an excellent gift giver. Are you really really? 00:53:24 Speaker 4: I mean I've yeah, im bodied my husband every single year that we have been doing. 00:53:28 Speaker 2: What are you getting in with gifts? 00:53:30 Speaker 4: I commissioned a piece of art in this style of his favorite comic book artists as of him as a superhero. Oh my god, I flew in. When he first moved to La from San Francisco. I surprised him by flying in his two best friends from San Francisco. 00:53:44 Speaker 2: Taking them out with and surprising him with that. 00:53:46 Speaker 4: Our first date was at a piano bar in San Francisco called Martuoni's, where it's very like, very simple. You just go up, you tell the piano player what you want to sing, and you sing it. And we both sang songs to each other that night. And he's always lamented the fact that La doesn't really have a bar like this, right, and it's always and even the idea of it's kind of a nightmare in La because it's like, yeah, exactly, because the charm of it in San Francisco is this girl who is getting her life singing define gravity is a project manager. Yes you know like that, she's not trying to make it. So I rented out a bar the Dresden and in Las Fields in hired a piano player and surprised him with all of his friends from San Francisco and like across the country and our friends here in La. And we had a full night of where we got to have our piano bar. 00:54:33 Speaker 2: This is unbelievable. 00:54:34 Speaker 3: And meanwhile he's making you crash your car. 00:54:36 Speaker 2: I got him voice lessons. 00:54:38 Speaker 4: With a Broadway vocal coach because he's not I mean he used to sing a lot, but then he had node surgery, and he's said the same thing that happened to Julie Andrews happened to him, and so he's he has to relearn how to use his voice and he's always singing. 00:54:52 Speaker 2: And so I got him that. 00:54:54 Speaker 3: And it almost feels like you're playing a mental game with Yeah, I want to destroy Yeah, exactly. So you're very good at giving gifts. This guy's turning forty five. 00:55:03 Speaker 2: You do experiential, That's what I think. 00:55:05 Speaker 3: I think you go experiential right like after thirty I think you hit a like object. 00:55:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, it gets really difficult. 00:55:13 Speaker 4: No, Yeah, I can't think of many like things that I've given like my nieces and nephews, I pay for the karate. 00:55:21 Speaker 2: Classes for the last few years's and stuff like that. 00:55:23 Speaker 4: Like obviously, like he probably is not interested in karate classes, but like if you can think of something you know he's an interest of his, or even something that he already does, and think of a fun way to present it to him. Yes, it's aphemeral, Yes it may not have the lasting value as a sweater, but I think a lot of people like when they know that you put more thought into it than as simple like he likes this, I'll buy him this, right, And it's more it requires a little bit more second. 00:55:52 Speaker 2: Third thought thinking. 00:55:53 Speaker 4: I think they appreciate it kayaking trip, kayaking trip lessons and something that he's interested in learning. I mean it requires The thing about those gifts too, is that it requires a knowledge of what the person likes and is interested in. That's not always apparent in a superficial relationship. 00:56:12 Speaker 2: Right. 00:56:13 Speaker 3: And I think that you could really surprise somebody by giving them something that seems like something they almost wouldn't even think of wanting to do. 00:56:20 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:56:21 Speaker 4: Well, and I will say this so my husband for my first birthday when we were together, he sort of as a joke, sort of legitimately, my favorite song of all time is the Never Enough Remix circuit remix from Greatest Showmen, a song that was the backing track famously to that fistfight that happened in Mikinos between those two gay men. But I always go on about how I love this song and how silly it is. And he for our first for my birthday, our first year together, he contacted people that I did not even know he knew about friends from all across my life, in every across the world, from different periods of my life. They all dressed like me and danced like me while lip syncing that song, and he made us he cut it together and like it was at once like the most amazing thing, but also just to see how different friends. 00:57:11 Speaker 2: Approached the source. 00:57:13 Speaker 4: So it's like such a funny window into their psyche too, like who they are as people, and it's it's I fell to my knees and and cried because I was like this, no one has ever thought about. 00:57:24 Speaker 2: Me so overwhelming. 00:57:25 Speaker 3: Yeah, so she gets him the official soundtrack Greatest Showman Soundtrack on CD. 00:57:31 Speaker 2: I think that's the perfect gift for Burnett burn It. Don't even get them the rich because then it seems more personal. 00:57:37 Speaker 3: All right, you can write right on it. Wow, to have a CD Burner, My god. 00:57:43 Speaker 2: That was the culture for so oh should have I think that that was so many things that death kept for Coody Cutie. Transatlanticism burned for me by Blake Miller in the seventh period, and that changed the course of what music I like. Yeah, of course, yeah, we need to get back to burning CD. 00:58:00 Speaker 3: I bet that's gonna we'll circle back to. 00:58:02 Speaker 4: This something less meaningful about a playlist on Spotify if. 00:58:06 Speaker 2: It's a very low lift. 00:58:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a very I like putting together a playlist, but it requires almost nothing of you. 00:58:13 Speaker 2: Well, we answered. 00:58:14 Speaker 3: Rita's question more than perfectly. I've won an award. The podcast is kind of leveled up just within the I. 00:58:22 Speaker 4: Think you're I think you could probably get like a queer to or a glad How do you do that? 00:58:27 Speaker 2: You're like, send a coupon in the mail. I think it's just sort of sort of no. I listen. 00:58:33 Speaker 4: I am appreciative of every piece of attention and press I have gotten because of those awards, but it is sort of like you just have to be around long enough as a gay person. 00:58:43 Speaker 2: You've just gotta do not fuck it up. 00:58:45 Speaker 3: Yeah, just campaign by being a gay person. 00:58:47 Speaker 4: Is because I mean, honestly, sometimes that feels like enough to persevere and simply exist in this industry. 00:58:54 Speaker 3: Oh my god, started on my life. My life is harder than everyone else's. So I deserve a Queer to You award exactly Queer to You Committee reach out. I'm so glad you could come to me. 00:59:08 Speaker 2: I'm so glad too. 00:59:09 Speaker 4: I've been wanting to come back on this since I did it on Zoom, as I want to redo everything that I did on Zoom. 00:59:16 Speaker 3: Likewise, those were some bad days for just being a person. 00:59:22 Speaker 4: I came out of the pandemic and with the most severe writer's block that I then blamed on my medication, and I was like, I can't write anything, no new ideas. 00:59:31 Speaker 2: It must be the medication. 00:59:33 Speaker 4: Little not even thinking that, oh, you were just inside for a year in stasis with not really living a life, like of course you had writer's block, and like, why It's one of the many dumb decisions I've made in my life, was blaming it. 00:59:48 Speaker 2: On the medication. Stay off Reddit when you have questions about what may or may not issue. 00:59:53 Speaker 3: Yes, well, you're welcome back anytime, and it is an award winning show, so it's worth coming around. 01:00:00 Speaker 2: Thank you for being Thank you for having me. 01:00:02 Speaker 3: Listener, I'm done talking to you. I feel like you've got to figure something out as usual, and I believe you'll be able to. Can you feel the blood sugar just dropping in my body? 01:00:17 Speaker 2: Get going? 01:00:17 Speaker 3: I love you, goodbye, I said. No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson. And our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram And I said, no gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts? 01:00:50 Speaker 2: The line man? Did you hear? 01:00:54 Speaker 1: Funa man? Myself perfectly clear? But yere, I guess my home. You gotta come to me empty? And I said, no, guests, your own presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you 01:01:17 Speaker 2: Dare to surbey me