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Speaker 1: This is John. This is the mm okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some.

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Speaker 2: Good stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 3: two minute at break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 1: Hmm, my wife cheated while pregnant, but now she's telling

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Speaker 1: everyone I'm the cheater.

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Speaker 4: That's not how that works, Trigg.

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Speaker 1: Warning mentions of My wife is a pretty terrible person.

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Speaker 1: I'll explain in a second, and you can yell at

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Speaker 1: me if you think I'm being unfair by calling her that.

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Speaker 1: And I probably shouldn't have married her or even dated

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Speaker 1: her in the first place. She has two awesome kids

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Speaker 1: with another man, and I began being in their lives

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Speaker 1: when they were one and four. By the way, this

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Speaker 1: comes from good competition five seven four one, and if

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Speaker 1: you want to sumit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 1: r slash Okay Storytime suppered it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly,

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Speaker 1: and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, But we

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Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 1: I knew their mom back in high school and had

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Speaker 1: a brief strictly physical relationship with our strictly physical, no emotion.

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Speaker 1: Then we went dark with each other until reconnecting like

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Speaker 1: twelve years later. She was fun and we had the

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Speaker 1: same humor. She was everything I wanted in a mate,

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Speaker 1: and I loved hanging out with her and her kids.

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Speaker 1: But then she kept randomly going back to their father,

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Speaker 1: who is terribly harmful. I tell you all this so

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Speaker 1: you know why I stayed as long as I did.

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Speaker 1: I was able to provide for her kids and her

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Speaker 1: and prevent her from taking them back into a horrible household.

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Speaker 1: Past forward four years, we had a child together. We

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Speaker 1: did Christmas, her and I, her two kids, our new

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Speaker 1: baby girl. I thanked God that I had everything I'd

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Speaker 1: ever need in my life, and things were good. I'd

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Speaker 1: later find out that six months later she began sleeping

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Speaker 1: with her ex. I'd even find out that she'd been

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Speaker 1: sleeping with him while she was pregnant with our daughter.

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Speaker 1: The thought makes me physically ill and torments me every day.

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Speaker 1: I want to leave her, but there were these little children,

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Speaker 1: and I would rather have gone through the worst torture

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Speaker 1: imaginable than see them go live with the ex, especially

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Speaker 1: my daughter, who is my world, but the other kids

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Speaker 1: as well as I love them very much too. We

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Speaker 1: went to a marriage counselor, but she would often storm

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Speaker 1: out and things fell on her and she'd have to

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Speaker 1: take responsibility. Things got somewhat calmer, but she never seemed

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Speaker 1: to want to treat me with much love or respect.

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Speaker 1: Even as I worked my butt off to make sure

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Speaker 1: we all had everything we needed plus trips, et cetera.

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Speaker 1: She didn't work at all, so much as being left out.

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Speaker 1: But I doubt anyone will even read this, it's so long. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: fast forward to November twenty twenty four. She had almost

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Speaker 1: never been a participant in our marriage no matter what

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Speaker 1: I did. I'd given up on all the stuff I

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Speaker 1: did for so many years to show her how much

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Speaker 1: I loved her and focused on just being the best

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Speaker 1: dad and stepdad I could be. Without my being a

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Speaker 1: good husband. There was nobody participating in the marriage anymore,

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Speaker 1: so it turned into more of a roommate situation where

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Speaker 1: I still paid for everything. It should be mentioned that

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Speaker 1: I constantly begged her to do fun stuff with me

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Speaker 1: like we used to. I told her that all our

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Speaker 1: relationship needed was for us to actually try so a night.

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Speaker 1: It was my friend's father's birthday. This family is my

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Speaker 1: second family, and I went to the birthday party. It

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Speaker 1: got late, like midnight, and she texts me to tell

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Speaker 1: me that since I could spend the night out places,

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Speaker 1: she's going to as well. She tells me that next

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Speaker 1: weekend she's going to go out with a friend. I said,

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Speaker 1: why not go out with your husband? If you're finally

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Speaker 1: willing to do something, that would be great? Who's going

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Speaker 1: to meet a guy she worked with someone I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: sure she'd already been sleeping with. This is a terrible,

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Speaker 1: terrible situation.

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Speaker 4: I don't like this story.

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Speaker 1: This is dreadful. I hopee. Is there any way that

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Speaker 1: we can like have some custody of these kids? Right?

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Speaker 4: And wouldn't there possibly be away Like obviously, yeah, we're

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Speaker 4: worried about all the kids. But he's like and specifically like,

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Speaker 4: my daughter's never going to that ex's house. Well, you can,

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Speaker 4: can you say that in the custody agreement?

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Speaker 1: Say he's incredibly Do you have any like whatever proof

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Speaker 1: you have of this, start gathering that proof, right? You know,

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Speaker 1: the other kids are his, the one kid is his,

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Speaker 1: The other kids are the exes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I meant, because, yeah, like, I don't

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Speaker 4: know that you can necessarily control that situation unfortunately, but

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Speaker 4: for your own kid, yeah, you one hundred percent can

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Speaker 4: do something about that.

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Speaker 1: I got mad at how stupid this all was, and

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Speaker 1: we both agreed we should get a divorce and be

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Speaker 1: done with all this. I was the first to take

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Speaker 1: off my ring because of how angry all this made me.

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Speaker 1: The whole marriage. I dreamed of a day she would

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Speaker 1: actually care and try, that all the suffering would be

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Speaker 1: worth it and we could all be a happy family.

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Speaker 1: We all deserved that. This was never going to happen. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: she started openly dating the guy. She would go over

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Speaker 1: to his house every Friday night and come back with

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Speaker 1: spicy kiss marks all over her neck like she's seventeen.

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Speaker 1: She's thirty seven. A couple months into this, I decided

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Speaker 1: I needed to go out with someone for my own good.

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Speaker 1: But who? I went on a fifty shades club site

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Speaker 1: that had previously made an account on for other purposes

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Speaker 1: long story, other purposes?

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Speaker 4: What are the other.

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Speaker 1: Purposes of the purposes it does? Fifty Shades club might

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Speaker 1: be ah, it might be a change because it's in bracket,

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Speaker 1: So I wonder what the original thing was and talk

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Speaker 1: to a girl who I eventually met up with. She

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Speaker 1: did not look like she did in her picks and

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Speaker 1: I was not attracted classic they never do, but had

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Speaker 1: lunch with her and decided I needed to at least

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Speaker 1: give it a shot. We met up a second time

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Speaker 1: and drove around and then got baked outside the car smoking.

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Speaker 1: She tried to get me to have spicy sleep with her.

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Speaker 1: I felt really awkward about it, but gave it the

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Speaker 1: college try and couldn't do it. Literally, couldn't physically or

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Speaker 1: mentally do it. I felt really defeated in every way

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Speaker 1: possible and told this woman that we were just not

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Speaker 1: going to work out in any way. She flipped out

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Speaker 1: I was using her very spicy sleep, even though we

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Speaker 1: never even had spicy sleep and met on a site

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Speaker 1: about spicy sleep. We spent less than four hours together

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Speaker 1: total ever, but she went on a Facebook group for

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Speaker 1: women who think their boyfriend is dating someone else and

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Speaker 1: put my picture in info up. That's insane.

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Speaker 4: Oh that's that Facebook group. Are we dating the same

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Speaker 4: guy problem?

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Speaker 1: That's crazy? Oh my goodness. I felt very violated, but whatever.

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Speaker 1: A friend of my wife saw this and didn't know

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Speaker 1: we were no longer together. She informed my ex, who

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Speaker 1: then got completely unfairly angry. She had zero right to

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Speaker 1: care or even know. She started saying she was going

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Speaker 1: to make stuff up so she could leave with the

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Speaker 1: kids and move to the other side of the country.

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Speaker 1: I'm flipping out. That's my family, my child. Anyway, last part,

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Speaker 1: I promise if you are reading this, things calm down.

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Speaker 1: And we realized we needed each other just to make

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Speaker 1: it in this terrible economy.

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Speaker 2: No no, maybe they.

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Speaker 1: Mean like divorced, but like okay, welling seems so. We

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Speaker 1: filed for divorce, but decided to cohabitate for the sake

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Speaker 1: of the kids. She admitted to being the worst possible wife,

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Speaker 1: though she still claimed she married me because she loved

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Speaker 1: me and not just to use me for the money

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Speaker 1: and stability for the kids. But it was she who

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Speaker 1: left this marriage if she was ever a part of it,

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Speaker 1: not me. And yet now I just found out that

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Speaker 1: she's been telling her family we're divorcing because she found

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Speaker 1: out I was cheating on her with the woman and

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Speaker 1: from this website I was using. Can you believe it?

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Speaker 1: She cheated on me more times than I can count

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Speaker 1: with an ex and a janitor from her work, and

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Speaker 1: she's pretending to her family who likes me and recognizes

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Speaker 1: the stability I brought to her and the kids' lives,

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Speaker 1: and to look justified. Since she cannot explain any real

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Speaker 1: reason other than lust and immaturity why she would leave me,

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Speaker 1: she's trying to lie to everyone about me. So am

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Speaker 1: I the a Well if I tell everyone the truth?

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Speaker 1: I have thirteen years of texts outlining how absolutely terrible

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Speaker 1: she is. I seriously I have about to go through

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Speaker 1: a ton of counseling. She's a terrible, horrible, deranged person.

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Speaker 1: And the story right now is that I cheated on

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Speaker 1: her and broke up our marriage. Honestly. Now, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: tell them because at this point, it's not even just

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Speaker 1: like petty revenge. This is your family is at risk,

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Speaker 1: to your reputations at risk. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I like too that. He's like, can you believe she

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Speaker 4: would do?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I unfortunately really can.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It great sucks, Yeah, but I think this is no

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Speaker 1: longer just like Petty. This is the custody of my

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Speaker 1: child is at stay you because they could they could

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Speaker 1: convince her to take your kids away. She could convince

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Speaker 1: a cord. If she's got like a bunch of people

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Speaker 1: on her. You know, there are many things at risk

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Speaker 1: here if you don't tell them the truth.

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Speaker 4: And I don't think it's wrong, even just for the

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Speaker 4: sake of relationships with that part of the face.

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Speaker 1: No, exactly like you, you would lose support from them

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Speaker 1: if they think this is true. Note, please know she

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Speaker 1: can also be the funniest, most awesome, caring person. Dude,

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Speaker 1: you don't.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to.

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Speaker 4: We don't need the back like you opened this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the worst person ever, you don't. We don't need

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Speaker 1: to go back. I just haven't seen that version of

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Speaker 1: her in years now, and honestly very little ever, but

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Speaker 1: enough for me to fall in love with it. She

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Speaker 1: was diagnosed with BPD when she was younger, and then

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Speaker 1: supposedly a second doctor said no, he's like, ah, nah,

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Speaker 1: you're good.

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Speaker 4: That's rough then, because if that is unmedicated BPD, that

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Speaker 4: needs to be medicated. Yeah, that could honestly be the

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Speaker 4: cause of a.

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Speaker 1: Lot of absolutely my heart breaks for her and the kids,

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Speaker 1: knowing how easily everything could be for us all but

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Speaker 1: therapy has shown me that is not a realistic thing

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Speaker 1: to ever expect to happen, and Common one says, you're

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Speaker 1: both in need of a lot of therapy. My friend

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Speaker 1: op says, I've been in therapy since we both did

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Speaker 1: counseling together. She was seeing a therapist for a bit

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Speaker 1: and it was helping a ton, but then she had

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Speaker 1: to switch to remote when the VID happened and just

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Speaker 1: stopped completely and things got terrible after that. My cortisol

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Speaker 1: levels from stress have been so bad. I've been having

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Speaker 1: heart issues caused by it. Common two says, not the ale,

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Speaker 1: tell the family if necessary, but you really only need

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Speaker 1: to worry about the kids. Document her cheating or these

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Speaker 1: agreements you two have been having for the courts. Opie says,

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Speaker 1: her cheating is documented through her family court cases with

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Speaker 1: the Rex that she cheated on me with, and you

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Speaker 1: believe I sat in a courtroom holding her hand and

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Speaker 1: then listening to him tell everyone in court about his

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Speaker 1: affair with my wife and how long it spanned, and

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Speaker 1: how it wasn't just spicy sleep but a relationship, how

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Speaker 1: they would meet as I worked my butt off to

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Speaker 1: make sure she didn't have to work, when she pretended

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Speaker 1: to be staying at her mother's and would leave the

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Speaker 1: kids there with her and meet up with them, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: So many.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Now she has no choice but to snap out

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Speaker 1: of this and realize how much better life is for

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Speaker 1: everyone when she is the version of herself that rocks

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Speaker 1: and just gives even just a little to her marriage

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Speaker 1: in the family dynamic. Things are finally going to be

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Speaker 1: better and make this all worth it. Moments, so so many,

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Speaker 1: and that's the end of that story. Oh Pee, please

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Speaker 1: prioritize yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, please, and your kids.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, my wife is obsessed with her coworker. I think

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Speaker 4: she's cheating on me.

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Speaker 1: Stop it.

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Speaker 4: Things have been pretty rocky between my wife twenty seven

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Speaker 4: female and I twenty eight male for several months. We

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Speaker 4: had a rough twenty twenty, but I thought it was

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Speaker 4: due to job stress the VID and then she lost

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Speaker 4: her job while mine got worse. Then she started a

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Speaker 4: new job and we drifted apart early this year. I

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Speaker 4: expressed my sadness that we are so distant and haven't

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Speaker 4: connected in a long time. We haven't been physically intimate either.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Cheesecake Okay in ninety

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Speaker 4: two thirty nine, And if you want to submit your

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Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay, storytime subpredd it.

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Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're here to give good

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Speaker 4: advice goofully, but we don't have all the answers. We

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Speaker 4: only know what we do, so let us know what

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Speaker 4: you would do in the comments. In early April, I

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Speaker 4: started individual therapy and have been trying to share my

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Speaker 4: thoughts with my wife and be vulnerable and honest. She

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Speaker 4: told me she feels smothered and needs space, which I've

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Speaker 4: tried to give her through all of this. She's indicated

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Speaker 4: that she wants to work on improving things, so I've

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Speaker 4: had hope that if I keep trying, things will move

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Speaker 4: forward to a better place. It hasn't giving space, being supportive,

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Speaker 4: not being controlling. She still seems far away. I brought

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Speaker 4: this up and said I don't think there's a way

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Speaker 4: to improve without spending time together addressing it. She said

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Speaker 4: she had been trying and putting an effort for the

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Speaker 4: past year. Anne felt like I wasn't doing anything and

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Speaker 4: now she's burnt out. I apologized and said I'm ready

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Speaker 4: and willing to fix things now, but I need her

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Speaker 4: help too. She didn't have much to say to that

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Speaker 4: because of the distance between us. I've noticed how close

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Speaker 4: she's gotten with a coworker, a single guy about my age.

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Speaker 4: They see each other every day, go to lunch almost daily.

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Speaker 4: My wife frequently stays late at work, and I'm pretty

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Speaker 4: sure he's always there too. They go out for drinks

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Speaker 4: and attended soccer games together, just the two.

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Speaker 1: Of soccer games alone.

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Speaker 4: The soccer games, oh, well, like supervised soccer games with

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Speaker 4: soccer games?

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Speaker 1: Is it like a child soccer game? Is it there?

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Speaker 1: Do they have a child?

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Speaker 4: I know they've gone to his place till after midnight.

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Speaker 4: This makes me uneasy and hurt. My wife doesn't do

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Speaker 4: any of this with me. It seems like a chore

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Speaker 4: for her to spend time with me, but she willingly

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Speaker 4: and gleefully adores being around this guy. We'll call him Mark.

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Speaker 4: This has been happening since early March. I didn't bring

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Speaker 4: anything up because she mentioned she didn't want to make

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Speaker 4: me sad by hanging out with Mark. Things were rocky

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Speaker 4: between us, and I wasn't confident enough to assert myself.

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to be the jealous boyfriend type. As

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Speaker 4: things deteriorated and I observed her spending most of her

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Speaker 4: time with him, it's been hurting more. I told her

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Speaker 4: last week, they're making me uncomfortable. She asked, well, what

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Speaker 4: do you want me to do about it? I felt

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Speaker 4: like she should decide what to do with that information.

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Speaker 4: She never suggested anything, just said I can put my

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Speaker 4: mind at ease, and it tapered off into her accusing

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Speaker 4: me of not trusting her. I told her, I trust

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Speaker 4: her not to do anything physical, but don't trust Mark

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Speaker 4: because I don't know him. After I said I was uncomfortable,

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to tell her what to do or

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Speaker 4: make her feel controlled, but she didn't propose anything to

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Speaker 4: resolve it. The next few days, she was home more

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Speaker 4: often and didn't go out for the usual drinks with coworkers.

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Speaker 4: I could tell she was sad, and I ended up

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Speaker 4: telling her I want her to be happy and do

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Speaker 4: what makes her happy. I've spoken with my therapist about this.

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Speaker 4: I told my therapist. She and Mark see each other

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Speaker 4: all the time. She actively chooses to spend more time

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Speaker 4: with Mark than me. She constantly texts him. I've seen

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Speaker 4: her texting him long threads when I'm lucky. If she

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Speaker 4: sends me three texts during the day, he's gone out

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Speaker 4: drinking with him and went to his place, not getting

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Speaker 4: home until two am. Last weekend, she had Mark dog

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Speaker 4: sit while I was out of town and didn't tell

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Speaker 4: me until after. She seems happier when she comes back

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Speaker 4: from hanging out with him. That reminds me of how

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Speaker 4: she was when we were first dating, and that crushes me.

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Speaker 4: From my perspective, I feel like lines have been crossed

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Speaker 4: that shouldn't be in a marriage. It hurt when I

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Speaker 4: told my wife her closeness with him makes me uncomfortable,

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Speaker 4: and she immediately said, well, we are just friends, so

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Speaker 4: you can put your mind at ease, then immediately shifted to, well,

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Speaker 4: what do you want me to do about it? He's

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Speaker 4: one of the few things that have brought me happiness

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Speaker 4: and support lately, which crushed me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, emotional cheating for sure.

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Speaker 4: This past Saturday, she went to a coworker's wedding. Mark

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Speaker 4: was there. They got wasted, and the DD brought her

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Speaker 4: home at one am, absolutely wasted. While I was helping

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Speaker 4: her get into bed, she kept repeating, how Mark is Mark?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

333
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,200
Speaker 4: Did Mark get home? I said, I'm sure he's fine.

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Speaker 4: Then she said I know his number and started saying

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Speaker 4: my number that hurt. She kept asking about him until

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00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,040
Speaker 4: she fell asleep. Now, a couple of days out, I

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00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,040
Speaker 4: feel even more like she's lost feeling for me and

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Speaker 4: is more emotionally invested in him than she's willing to admit.

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00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 4: I want to have an honest conversation, but I'm nervous

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Speaker 4: it'll come out as accusatory and make her defensive. How

341
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Speaker 4: can I broach the subject? How can I get answers

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Speaker 4: about the dynamic between her and Mark without being accusatory?

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00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 4: Is she emotionally cheating? My therapist said, I should have

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00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:12,000
Speaker 4: this conversation and know my boundaries for what is and

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00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 4: isn't okay. I've confided in close friends and my sister,

346
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,920
Speaker 4: and every single one thought it was messed up. That

347
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,360
Speaker 4: makes me feel validated, But I don't know the best

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00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 4: way to initiate this conversation. We have an updates. She

349
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 4: could tell if something was up and kept asking what

350
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 4: was bothering me. I finally talked to her. I mentioned

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00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 4: my concerns and said, what's been happening isn't okay and

352
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,680
Speaker 4: feels like boundaries are being crossed. She seemed unfhazed and offended.

353
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,840
Speaker 4: I'd think something inappropriate was going on. She denied being physical.

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Speaker 4: She said, I've only been out till two am with

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Speaker 4: him twice. That's two too many times for me. She

356
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,640
Speaker 4: refused to see it from my point of view or

357
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Speaker 4: an outside perspective. My wife refuses to believe she's crossing lines.

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Speaker 4: She wouldn't acknowledge that maybe what she's doing is wrong

359
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,120
Speaker 4: or hurtful. He's like my best friend right now. Yeah, well,

360
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,399
Speaker 4: why can't I be that? I'm your husband. I'm trying

361
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Speaker 4: to work on things, and I feel like there's stuff

362
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 4: you're not telling me. She kept saying, what do you

363
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 4: want me to do? She kept pointing out they haven't

364
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,240
Speaker 4: been together too much or stayed out late more than twice.

365
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,679
Speaker 4: Her first reaction, rather than being sorry, I'm hurt, was

366
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Speaker 4: to say, well, what do you want me to do

367
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Speaker 4: about it? She kept deflecting The amount of times doesn't matter.

368
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,760
Speaker 4: What matters is that now she knows it's hurting me,

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Speaker 4: and I'm not going to put up with it anymore.

370
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,480
Speaker 4: I told her, I want to be happy and be

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Speaker 4: with someone who makes me happy. She told me she

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Speaker 4: loves me and wants to be with me. It felt hollow.

373
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:44,120
Speaker 4: I told her, she seems completely emotionally invested in him,

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Speaker 4: and there's no more room for me. I feel like

375
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 4: a roommate who sits around while she dates Mark. She

376
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,720
Speaker 4: kept saying, we're just friends and I'm not even with

377
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Speaker 4: him all that much. She denied physical intimacy. She said

378
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 4: other coworkers have asked if anything is going on between

379
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 4: her and Mark. I asked, what is anything going on means?

380
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:03,920
Speaker 1: To her?

381
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,360
Speaker 4: She couldn't spell it out. I told her, I find

382
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,000
Speaker 4: it hard to believe Mark, a single guy my age,

383
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 4: has anything to gain from being just friends with a

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Speaker 4: married woman. No matter how good a guy she thinks

385
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,440
Speaker 4: he is, he's had the thought cross his mind. She denied.

386
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 4: They talk about their feelings for each other. I don't

387
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 4: believe it. If he knows about our marriage issues, it's

388
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 4: suspicious he continues to hang around. He's waiting for the

389
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 4: off chance we break up. I can't shake the feeling

390
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,439
Speaker 4: she's lying to me. I feel gas lit. I told her,

391
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 4: I sat on my true feelings for so long because

392
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 4: I was being too considerate of her feelings and neglecting

393
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 4: my own. I told her, we need to tell each

394
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,399
Speaker 4: other the hard stuff and be open and honest and vulnerable.

395
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,919
Speaker 4: I'm not going to talk to her about this again.

396
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 4: There's no point. She seems unwilling to accept she's in

397
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 4: the wrong. If another update, I.

398
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 1: Mean again, I think this is over. Yeah, I think

399
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,640
Speaker 1: your relationship is over. It sucks if you've been to therapy.

400
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 1: She refuses to admits she's wrong. You are hurting. She's

401
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 1: clearly not happy in this marriage. That's it, that's it. Yeah,

402
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,119
Speaker 1: there's not much else he can do. I think you

403
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 1: just have to like Unfortunately, you set a boundary, she's

404
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 1: crossed it.

405
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 4: I told her I know about her and Mark. I said,

406
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 4: I don't want to do this anymore and want her

407
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 4: to be happy, but if that includes being with Mark,

408
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 4: I don't want to continue together. We should go our

409
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 4: separate ways. I don't want to be in a marriage

410
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 4: with a woman who isn't in love with me. She

411
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 4: cried and confessed that she and Mark have feelings for

412
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:32,640
Speaker 4: each other.

413
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 1: Wow, everyone's shocked. Everyone's so shocked.

414
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:41,159
Speaker 4: But insists nothing physical happened. I told her, regardless, I

415
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,239
Speaker 4: don't feel we can continue and we should separate. I

416
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 4: threw out the D word several times, and she got upset,

417
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 4: saying I'd already made up my mind without her and

418
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,879
Speaker 4: wasn't discussing it. I told her she had made up

419
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 4: her mind to pursue those feelings with Mark and did

420
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 4: nothing to stop it. She told me I was being

421
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 4: mean and not understand. I said, I can understand her

422
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 4: losing feelings for me and falling in love with someone else,

423
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,120
Speaker 4: but I don't have to accept an EA and wasn't

424
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,880
Speaker 4: going to put up with this. Then she started begging,

425
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 4: saying it's a rash decision to divorce and we should

426
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 4: try separating first. I said, I know what that will do.

427
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 4: You'll just go off with Mark, right. She didn't answer.

428
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 4: She maintained she doesn't want to jump straight to divorce.

429
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 4: I maintained I see no other option. Even marriage counseling

430
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 4: wouldn't work because of work obligations. I can't just leave,

431
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 4: but I booked a flight to stay with my family

432
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,440
Speaker 4: this weekend. I cannot describe the relief I felt when

433
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 4: I told her we should proceed to divorce. The other

434
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 4: feeling was realizing she's made a choice. She's picking him

435
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 4: by not saying she'll cut things off completely with him,

436
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,919
Speaker 4: She's made a choice. I don't want to be with

437
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 4: someone who won't choose me and edit for everyone concerned

438
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 4: about the divorce process. Our finances are already separated and

439
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 4: we have very little marital property Under the law. The

440
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 4: biggest dispute will be over our dog. I'm in a

441
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 4: no fault divorce state, and the sixty day separation requirement

442
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 4: is already met as we've been living under the same

443
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 4: roof without spicy related cohabitation for over sixty days. I

444
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 4: don't foresee this being too procedurally or financially difficult, emotionally

445
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 4: and mentally for sure.

446
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 1: Dang man, Well, wow, there you go.

447
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, good on you for holding Yeah that what you

448
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 4: were feeling was true and she was crossing those boundaries.

449
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story. But we're going

450
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 4: to go to the next one.

451
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,400
Speaker 1: My wife's coworkers got into each other's faces. Now she's

452
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,719
Speaker 1: considering resigning.

453
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 4: Really, that's fair.

454
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: Figger warning physical altercation warning. It was a crazy day.

455
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: My wife, thirty four female, has worked at a really

456
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,440
Speaker 1: small casual business for about three years with only about

457
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: twelve employees. Since I thirty female, work from home, I'll

458
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 1: often go into her office and work from there. They

459
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 1: have extra space and allows me to get some social

460
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 1: interaction and spend more time with my wife. By the way,

461
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: this comes from crazies at work, and if you want

462
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

463
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 1: Okay storytime subbured it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're

464
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: here to give good advice goofy, but we don't have

465
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So

466
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 1: let us know what you would do in the comment.

467
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,120
Speaker 1: I've become pretty good friends with everyone because I've been

468
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 1: going in there on and off for three years. The

469
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: story involves one girl, thirty five ish female named Jen

470
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,120
Speaker 1: and her half sister, Amanda, thirty ish female. My wife

471
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 1: and I are pretty good friends with both of them.

472
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 1: On Thursday, my wife and I went into her office

473
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 1: and brought food and drinks for everyone to enjoy prior

474
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: to the holiday. This is pretty regular at this workplace.

475
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: Everyone was working, having a good time and getting along.

476
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: People started drinking around two thirty because things had slowed down.

477
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,120
Speaker 1: The boss also left around this time to go out

478
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: of town for the weekend. Jen and another girl were

479
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 1: making fun of Amanda a little and trying to pressure

480
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 1: her into staying at the office until five, so they

481
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: could leave early and go to happy hour. Man, being

482
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 1: pregnant and having another young child doesn't always work full

483
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 1: time and obviously doesn't drink. She didn't want to stay,

484
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 1: so her older sister started being rude and making comments.

485
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: I was in the room working, so I heard Jen

486
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: tell Amanda that she needed the hours because her boyfriend

487
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: couldn't support her. Amanda said he was supporting her just

488
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 1: fine right now. Jen then told her he wouldn't be tomorrow.

489
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 1: Amanda got up and walked out, obviously upset and crying.

490
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 1: She asked to use my wife's phone and call the

491
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: boss to say she was quitting. She told the boss

492
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: her sister was being rude and trying to pressure her

493
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 1: to stay. Next thing I knew, Jen ran up to

494
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: her sister, who was crying and cleaning out her desk,

495
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,719
Speaker 1: screaming at her that the boss had just texted her

496
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 1: to go ahead and leave for day and that someone

497
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: else could stay. They started getting into each other's faces

498
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 1: and doing the whole thing. Hit me. I wish you

499
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: what kind of back and forth threatening at this point,

500
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 1: because no one else was. I got in the middle

501
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: and told him to calm down and that this wasn't

502
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 1: the place or time for this conversation. Jen screamed at

503
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: me to stay the f out of it and that

504
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 1: this was fest our stuff. So I said it still

505
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: wasn't the place for it. They walked away from each other,

506
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: but Jen was fuming. I went back to my desk.

507
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: Someone said something to me and I said I didn't

508
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 1: know why we couldn't just get along, that this wasn't

509
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: the way to deal with a problem or the place

510
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 1: to do stuff like this. Jen heard me and walked in,

511
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: got in my face, snapped her hand and sarcastically said

512
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: thank you. Then she walked away.

513
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 4: These girls are being so rude, so I will say, like,

514
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 4: don't walk back into the other room and continue.

515
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: To talk about that.

516
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 4: Probably wasn't the best plan. The shoe girls that are

517
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 4: really heated, right.

518
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's not bring anything up. Another girl, Katie, volunteered

519
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 1: to take Amanda home to help de escalate the situation.

520
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 1: Amanda grabbed her stuff to leave, but had to walk

521
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: by Jen's desk, which is sadly by the door. According

522
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: to someone else, Jen started saying not to take Amanda

523
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: home and to just make her walk. They started yelling

524
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 1: at each other again, pulling up stuff that only sisters know,

525
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: like at least my car didn't get repoed. I walked

526
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 1: in when they were in each other's face again. I

527
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: stood there frozen for a second, and suddenly Jen plunged forward.

528
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 1: Then they started slugging each other. I ran in and

529
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: got between them, yelling at them to stop and physically

530
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 1: trying to pull them off each other. My wife, who

531
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: walked in about this time, saw me in the middle

532
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: and ran to help. She stood with her arms out

533
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 1: on each of their shoulders, trying to keep them apart.

534
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: They were still yelling, so my wife started yelling stop it,

535
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: over and over. Jen started yelling at my wife if

536
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,479
Speaker 1: you shut the f up. I yelled back, not to

537
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 1: talk to her like that. We stood between them and

538
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 1: started yelling at Amanda to just leave right now, walk

539
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 1: out the door. Amanda eventually walked out. I walked out.

540
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: Amanda was outside in Katie's car, about.

541
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 2: To go home.

542
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 1: We walked into the back room in shock. We saw

543
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: Jen get on the phone and walk into the bathroom.

544
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: My wife then saw her run out fast. We heard

545
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 1: someone yell something like my car. Another girl told us

546
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: to just stay in the room. We were in a minute. Later,

547
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: I had to check and I saw Jen get into

548
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: her car and drive off. We found out later that

549
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: Jen had run outside open the car and they started

550
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 1: it again. That was Katie yelling, they're fighting in my car.

551
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 1: She pulled them off each other and took Amanda home.

552
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 1: Other people in the office were saying they didn't want

553
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: this to get back to the boss. It should. These

554
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: girls should get fired. Don't get one sisters. They said,

555
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: Jen and Amanda had a tough life and basically we

556
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: shouldn't have gotten involved. That is ridiculous. Come on, you

557
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 1: are in a place of work. You are supposed to

558
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: be professional. I don't care if your sisters and you've

559
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: had a tough life. Be professional. Eventually, we got a

560
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: call from Amanda that she had called the police, and

561
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 1: she texted me to ask if Jen was still there

562
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: because the police were bringing her back. She also called

563
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: the boss, who contacted my wife and said she was

564
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: on her way back. The police came and got my

565
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: name in number since I witnessed it. The cop asked

566
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 1: who started it, and I told the truth. Jen started

567
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: it verbally, but Amanda wouldn't walk away. They were in

568
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 1: each other's face and Jen hit first. After this, the

569
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 1: cop left and Amanda was just there crying. She started

570
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: telling us things about Jen and her upbringing we didn't know.

571
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 1: She said that her mom and Jen had always been

572
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 1: so mean to her. How should we handle it? What

573
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 1: should my wife say to the boss? Should she still

574
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: work there? If they let them both stay? And there

575
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: is an update? Say the truth?

576
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, the truth.

577
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: I think you just say what you witnessed, that you

578
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: got in between it to stop it, because no one

579
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 1: else was willing to help you.

580
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 2: Guys, you got yelled at.

581
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: And then the police were called. Yeah.

582
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 4: I don't think there's any need for any other information

583
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,360
Speaker 4: except exactly what happened that day. Yeah.

584
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: And I don't think that your wife has to leave

585
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 1: necessarily unless she is uncomfortable, unless Jen and a Mana

586
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: both stay and make her uncomfortable.

587
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think she has to leave, But I

588
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 4: also could totally, Like if she comes to you and

589
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 4: she's like, I want to leave.

590
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, then absolutely, then she's no longer comfortable in this workplace. Update.

591
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: I'd like to clarify a few things. This behavior isn't

592
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: a regular occurrence, not at my wife's work, and definitely

593
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: not in our life. This was the first time we

594
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 1: had witnessed anyone acting like this. My wife works at

595
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 1: a very casual and creative place. She's a graphic designer.

596
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: People sometimes bring their pets, children, and essos to work.

597
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 1: They often eat lunch together as a company and make

598
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: an effort to celebrate and enjoy each other. Sometimes booze

599
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,959
Speaker 1: is involved, other times it isn't. It is a family

600
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 1: owned business. The owner is a very nice guy and

601
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: as a tendency to hire people that need second chances

602
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: of life. Him and his wife also have six children

603
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: of varying nationalities, all adopted. Because of the owner's tendency

604
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: to give everyone a chance, it has resulted in some

605
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: bad hires. He'll often hire family of current employees just

606
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: to help them out. They come from some rough backgrounds

607
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,680
Speaker 1: and often say things like f the police and snitches

608
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: get stitches. Jen was actually hired first and Amanda was

609
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: hired based on her recommendation. All accounts, they've both been

610
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: very nice people at work in great employees up until

611
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: this point. For clarity, the owner was out on vacation

612
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: last week and the manager, April, was there all week

613
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: and left only a short time before the drama. Went down,

614
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: I decided it was best for me to stay out

615
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: of her work drama for this week and not go in.

616
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: We didn't hear from anyone over the weekend. The police

617
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 1: also haven't contacted me. When she showed up Monday, neither

618
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: Jen nor Amanda were there. My wife asked April if

619
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: they'd be coming in, and she said they were not

620
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: coming in that day, but they were still deciding what

621
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: to do. Once the owner got in, he asked my

622
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 1: wife what she thought about the event, and she told

623
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: the truth. Amanda did a lot of things wrong and

624
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 1: should have walked away, but Jen was definitely the instigator.

625
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: She also told them she was scared of Jen after

626
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 1: seeing her behave that way, and that it would be

627
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: very hard to work with her. He said, you know,

628
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: I want to give everyone a second chance. My wife

629
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: was floored. She said she understood second chances, but when

630
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: it came to violence, it was a risky second chance

631
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: to take on behalf of every other employee. He even

632
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: mentioned Jen coming in on Tuesday. My wife was definitely

633
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: not happy. He said he wanted to give Amanda the

634
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 1: same chance, but that she had quit before this went

635
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: down and didn't think there was any chance she'd come back.

636
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: He thought he might have them work on alternate days.

637
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: I think if he hadn't talked to my wife, he

638
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: would have had them, or at least Jen, come back immediately.

639
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: Important note that the other witnesses besides my wife and

640
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: myself were Jen's cousin and her lifelong friend. They were

641
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: clearly more hesitant to say anyone was the instigator or

642
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 1: take a stand that either should be fired. My wife

643
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: was the only one willing to paint an accurate picture

644
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: of what happened. Everyone seemed willing to get over it,

645
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: move on and put on a happy face, except my wife.

646
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: April seems to really understand the severity, but the owner doesn't.

647
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: We basically decided that if Jen came back, my wife

648
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: would start looking for new jobs and leave ASA. We

649
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 1: are genuinely scared for her to work with her, especially

650
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 1: with the mentality of the employees and the fact my

651
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: wife and I intervene. Not to mention, my wife has

652
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: spoken up and said she doesn't feel either of them

653
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 1: should come back, but especially Jen. Today my wife went

654
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: in and they weren't there. She immediately talked to April

655
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 1: and said, I don't want to be the only one

656
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 1: with a problem with her working here. If I am,

657
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: then maybe I'm the odd one out. April said, you

658
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: aren't the odd man out. More people feel this way,

659
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 1: not sure who, because no one else is acting like it.

660
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: My wife said, the owner indicated she would be back soon,

661
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: and April said, no, it will be a while before

662
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 1: she can come back, not really saying if she has orsen't,

663
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: just that it won't be now. The police also stop

664
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: by the office today. Apparently they can't get a hold

665
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: of Amanda anymore. I know she's okay because she's been

666
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: posting on Facebook. I think she's just scared to follow

667
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: through with pressing charges. Snitches get stitches. Oh what do

668
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: you guys think? Are we the crazy ones for feeling

669
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: like Jen should not work there any longer? Should my

670
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: wife be willing to put on a smile and work

671
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: with this person, or should she continue to be vocal

672
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: about her desire for Jen not to return. Does the

673
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: fact that they wanted her to come back makes my

674
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 1: wife want to quit? But at the same time, they

675
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: really seem to respect her and her opinion and only

676
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: seem to reconsider when she disagreed.

677
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 4: That one's like, so I think at most you go

678
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 4: back to the boss one more time. Yeah, you re

679
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 4: expressed your concerns. You can add into that, I will

680
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 4: probably be leaving. And if she stays yes, and after

681
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 4: that though, I don't think you can, like if you

682
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 4: decide to say, you can't really.

683
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 1: Keep bringing no. I agree.

684
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story. But we're gonna

685
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 4: go to the next one.

686
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,719
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

687
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 1: back to the story. So but here's a quick three

688
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: minute break from as for more sponsors.

689
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: My wife left her wedding ring with my mother in law.

690
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 2: I'm afraid she'll lose it.

691
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 3: She might throw it down the ditch.

692
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: So yesterday my wife, let's call her Ruby, twenty one female,

693
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 2: went to visit her mom like she usually does on weekends.

694
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 2: I twenty two mail work weekends outside the house, but

695
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 2: weekdays I'm remote and her mom works Monday to Friday,

696
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 2: so it's the only time they really get to see

697
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 2: each other. No issue there. Ruby is currently on maternity

698
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 2: leave and our baby is due next week, so I

699
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 2: totally get that she wants to spend time with her

700
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 2: mom while she can. By the way, this comes from

701
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,959
Speaker 2: champ Ooh seventeen and if you want to submit your

702
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime, Separate

703
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 2: It and I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and we're here to

704
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 2: give good advice goofully, but we're not experts. We're just

705
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 2: gonna guess what we would do in these situations. But

706
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments.

707
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: Oh P says here's where things went off. Ruby came

708
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 2: home in a taxi and told me she accidentally left

709
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: her wedding ring at her mom's place. She took it

710
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 2: off because it was hot and her fingers were swollen

711
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 2: pregnancy stuff. I didn't get angry or anything, just asked

712
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 2: where she left it and said let's go back and

713
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 2: grab it. I offered to drive us since I didn't

714
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 2: want to wait. That's when it started getting tense. She

715
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 2: tried explaining over the phone that her mom would keep

716
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 2: it safe and we could pick it up tomorrow. I

717
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 2: heard her out, but I wasn't comfortable with waiting. I

718
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 2: was polite, calm, didn't insult anyone, but I insisted that

719
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 2: we go get it now. I even said that I

720
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: could go alone. After helping her go upstairs, but she

721
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 2: didn't want that either. By the time she got home,

722
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 2: I was already waiting in the car. She got out

723
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 2: of the taxi clearly upset and pushed me away. When

724
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 2: I tried to help her with her bag, she gave

725
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 2: me the silent treatment while calling her mom to say

726
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 2: that we were coming back for the ring. Then she

727
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 2: finally asked, why are you doing this? Why can't you

728
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: trust her? And that's where I lost my cool a little,

729
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 2: not yelling or anything, but I stopped sugarcoating. I told

730
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 2: her the truth. No, I don't trust her mom. She

731
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 2: knows why. Her mom once lost our engagement ring during

732
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: a rough patch and it magically showed up months after.

733
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 2: This same thing happened when with many other sentimental items

734
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 2: I gave her and some of them never reappeared. Ruby

735
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 2: insists it was just a mistake, But to me, there

736
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: isn't a reason to blindly trust mother in law. That

737
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 2: wasn't the only thing either. Her mom has insulted me,

738
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 2: made insulting comments about my background, and has never apologized

739
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: for any of it. I listed those things out not

740
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 2: to throw them in Ruby's face, but because she kept

741
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 2: asking why, I asked her why her mom gets all

742
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 2: this grace for doing things. She just wished me to

743
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 2: my grave yesterday because Ruby was feeling sick while I

744
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 2: was picking up her meds. But I can't even state

745
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 2: the facts without her getting upset. She cried. I comforted her,

746
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 2: apologize for being harsh, and made it clear that I

747
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,359
Speaker 2: wasn't trying to attack her or her mom. I was

748
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 2: just being honest. I told her, I don't believe her

749
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,240
Speaker 2: mom would purposefully throw away the ring, but based on history,

750
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 2: I wasn't willing to risk it getting misplaced again. If

751
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 2: I ever wanted to test whether things had improved, it

752
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 2: wouldn't be with something as personal as our wedding ring.

753
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 2: So we went back. Her mom gave me the usual

754
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 2: cold stare, but at this point I don't care anymore.

755
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 2: Later Ruby and I talked. She said she understood and

756
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 2: forgave me, but she still felt hurt about the way

757
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: it went down. I didn't yell, I didn't insult anyone.

758
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 2: I just acted quickly, maybe too quickly, and didn't give

759
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 2: her time to process it. So I agreed and apologized

760
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 2: for that part, but I still feel down about all

761
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 2: of this as well. In my defense, I just panicked

762
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: a bit. I valued that ring a lot, and when

763
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 2: something feels urgent, I move Ruby is actually Ruby has

764
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 2: actually thanked me for being that way in past situations.

765
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: But after seeing my wife still so sad about this,

766
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if I should have just let it go.

767
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't know. I feel like I did

768
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 2: the right thing, but maybe in the wrong way. How

769
00:35:57,719 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 2: do I fix this? And am I the a hole?

770
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 2: And we do? You have a small update? The baby

771
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 2: is born. You as completely safe and sound. My wife

772
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 2: and son are sleeping right now. I'm checking on babies

773
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 2: so Ruby can get some sleep. She did great and

774
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 2: apologized for everything. She said. She was just nervous about

775
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 2: today and wanted all of us to be okay so

776
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 2: there wouldn't be any drama at the hospital.

777
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 1: A spoiler, there.

778
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 2: Wasn't any drama, huh. I know the woman I chose

779
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 2: to spend my life with, and she's a great person.

780
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 2: She cares about her mom as much as she cares

781
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: about me. But she did admit that she overreacted and

782
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 2: wanted to support me more. I know this isn't the

783
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 2: end of the story. We already started thinking about some

784
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 2: boundaries to make and this is just the start of

785
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: our lives together. Hopefully when I come back with updates,

786
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 2: it will be good news. Good night, guys. I'll do

787
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 2: my best to stay up. And thanks for all the advice,

788
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 2: even the sharp comments. I read all of them, and

789
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 2: you gave me grounds and confidence to set up some

790
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 2: boundaries and communicate better with my wife. And guess what

791
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 2: we got an update. Hey everyone, it's been about three

792
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 2: months since baby first. Because that's the best part. Our

793
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 2: little guy is three months old and thriving. He was

794
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 2: a chunky newborn and he's only getting bigger. He hit

795
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 2: sixteen pounds and two foot one right before his six

796
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 2: two month check up. Healthy, happy, and smiling more every day.

797
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 3: All right. In the comments put us in the percentile

798
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 3: of where this child is. Yeah, I'm filling ninety seven percentile.

799
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 2: Oh you think, oh yeah, Does that mean that ninety

800
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 2: seven percent of babies are this way or no?

801
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 3: No, that means he's like, out of one hundred babies,

802
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 3: he's in the top three percent of big babies.

803
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:37,399
Speaker 2: Okay, So onto the mother in law situation. Well, it's

804
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: been a ride, some ups, plenty of downs, but I've

805
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 2: learned to manage it. So I don't lose my mind, Deliell.

806
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 2: A lot of you suspected that she was pawning stuff,

807
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 2: and yep, you nailed it. What yeah, I mean, why

808
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 2: else would she be taking this valuable stuff and not

809
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 2: returning it. My sister in law eighteen female, recently asked

810
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 2: Ruby for money to cover payments on their mom's on jewelry.

811
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 2: We ended up lending them about two thousand dollars so

812
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 2: they could just recover their stuff altogether. It's been a

813
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:12,720
Speaker 2: month and no repayment. Yet somehow they're always struggling, even

814
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 2: with low rent which is less than one thousand dollars

815
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 2: and food stamps. But that's another story, dude.

816
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 3: No matter how much money people have, you don't know

817
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 3: how to manage it, you're going to be broken.

818
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you need to borrow that much, then it's

819
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 2: kind of like what we need to do to in

820
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 2: the first place. Happened to our plan to pay it

821
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 2: back to the other person in the first place. I've

822
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 2: tagged along for a few lunches at mother in law

823
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 2: since Ruby has started seeing through more of her mom's

824
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 2: bs and doesn't like being alone there anymore. Funny thing,

825
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 2: even though we invite her to our place whenever she wants,

826
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 2: she refuses because she quote doesn't feel comfortable. I've offered

827
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 2: to leave the house or stay in our room so

828
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: they can have privacy, but nope, if it's not on

829
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 2: her terms, it's nothing. So Gladly for me, visits are

830
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 2: way less often as I'm back to work already, and

831
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 2: until my wife feels comfortable again, I should be there

832
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 2: with them. The worst part is the verbal stuff. Mother

833
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 2: in law never says it when I'm around, but when

834
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 2: she's mad, she yells at Ruby and throws out nasty

835
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: comments about me or even our baby. She's said things

836
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 2: like our son will grow up to hit Ruby what,

837
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 2: or that bad things will happen to her because of

838
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 2: how she treats mother in law. It's gross. Ruby's been

839
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 2: doing therapy and we agreed our son doesn't need to

840
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 2: grow up. Hearing that, she explained the best she could

841
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 2: to mother in law that visits stop when she acts

842
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 2: like that. Her response, he must be used to it already.

843
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 2: I've behaved this way since he was in your belly,

844
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,800
Speaker 2: so yeah, I wasn't taken aback. I see mother in

845
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 2: law for her true colors. But Ruby got very disappointed.

846
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 2: That day reality check past. After one particularly bad yelling

847
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 2: match just days after we loaned them the two thousand dollars,

848
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,840
Speaker 2: we went low contact for a couple of weeks. Eventually,

849
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 2: mother in law showed up at our door with some

850
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 2: of Ruby's old stuff that she found, which are plus

851
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 2: she's and such, in what felt like a big victim

852
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 2: performance of how much she had to walk. We live

853
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes away walking or she could have taken a bus,

854
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 2: but okay, yeah, fifteen minute walk would be like a

855
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 2: five minute drive, like honestly, well, I don't think gis car.

856
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 2: Well yeah, op said that she could take the bus, yeah,

857
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 2: or get a taxi that Ruby always got from her place.

858
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 2: No real apology, but Ruby says she kind of half

859
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 2: apologized later. So they're talking again. As for childcare plans

860
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 2: because Ruby's going back to work soon, mother in law

861
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,359
Speaker 2: had offered free babysitting, but that's off the table. She's

862
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 2: joked about spanking our son to quote correct him, and

863
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: he wasn't even two months old when she said that,

864
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 2: and she suggested giving him water in the summer. Whether

865
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,359
Speaker 2: that's ignorance Ruby's take or something darker my take, it's

866
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 2: a hard no, we're hiring a sinner, actually my mom

867
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 2: who does this professionally and will pay her because our

868
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 2: kid deserves patience and love, not someone with random anger

869
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 2: blow ups. Yeah that is there's a little bit more

870
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 2: to the story. But yeah that if she is a

871
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,840
Speaker 2: mom and she has raised newborns, she should know that

872
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 2: you can't give them water for a good while. So

873
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 2: I feel like it isn't just ignorance, it's just stupidity,

874
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 2: or yeah, maybe it's some I doubt she's trying to

875
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 2: hurt the baby. I really doubt that, but I it

876
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 2: could just be something for control of like, oh, yeah,

877
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do this, baby will be like fine, even

878
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 2: even though that's like not what OP wants.

879
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 3: And something's gonna happen and mother in law's gonna be

880
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 3: but I did my best. It's like, no, you can

881
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 3: do your best. You have to you have to do

882
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 3: the right thing.

883
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, because a baby's life is on the line here

884
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 2: if you just don't do well enough or something. But yeah,

885
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 2: good thing. They're not letting her baby sit. But there

886
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 2: is a little bit more to the story. So for now,

887
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 2: mother in law still sees the baby, but only supervised anymore.

888
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: Screaming and visits stop again. I doubt she'll ever change.

889
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 2: Therapy is quote for crazy people, according to her, So

890
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 2: we're just keeping contact as low as Ruby will allow.

891
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 2: I'll save my venting for Reddit and my therapist.

892
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 4: Uh.

893
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 2: That's pretty much it, though, thanks to everyone who gave

894
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 2: me advice last time. My mom she studied psychology, and

895
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 2: a couple of friends think mother in law might have

896
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:24,879
Speaker 2: my polar or borderline personality disorder, but she'll never get

897
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 2: a diagnosis because she won't set foot in therapy. So whatever.

898
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 2: For now, the plan is just healthy baby, happy home,

899
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 2: and minimal mother in law.

900
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story.

901
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:36,479
Speaker 4: Hey, it's Sam.

902
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories.

903
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

904
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,760
Speaker 3: My mother in law called me her surrogate and tried

905
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 3: to read am or baby.

906
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 2: Hey, so the father of that baby is your son.

907
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 2: Let's think about.

908
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,919
Speaker 3: That trigger warning or lose My husband thirty and I

909
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 3: thirty one. I've been married for a year. This is

910
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 3: my second marriage and his first. We met on a

911
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 3: dating app and hit it off immediately. We got very close,

912
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 3: very quickly. It was a shock to everyone in my

913
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 3: life due to the messy divorce and terrible marriage I've

914
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 3: just been through. By the way, this comes from a

915
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 3: Sea driver sixty six and if you want to make

916
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story

917
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 3: time subreddit. I'm Riley and I'm Angie, and we're here

918
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:18,879
Speaker 3: to give good advice coolfully, but we don't have all

919
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 3: the answers. We only know what we do know, So

920
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,800
Speaker 3: let us know what you know in the comments below.

921
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 3: I have one daughter from a previous relationship, and my

922
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 3: husband has always treated her as his own and has

923
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 3: been an amazing father figure. After dating for a couple

924
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,439
Speaker 3: of months, we found out we were pregnant. As far

925
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 3: as our relationship and immediate family, with our kids and

926
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 3: our marriage, it's perfect for me. I have never been

927
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 3: happier with partner. The issue is his family. He comes

928
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 3: from a two parent household. Former military. They both moved

929
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 3: around a lot and were stationed in Europe. His dad

930
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 3: is very successful and supports the whole family. His mom

931
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: was a stay at home mom and later a caretaker

932
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 3: for her ill mother. He has one younger sister, twenty seven,

933
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 3: who lives on a home trying to finish college up

934
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 3: until last year. His maternal grandmother lived in the home.

935
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 3: When she got really ill, his mom's sister moved in

936
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:15,279
Speaker 3: as well. His father's side of the family lives in

937
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 3: a rural mountain community about nine hours away from us.

938
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 3: When we first got together, my husband needed a hip

939
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 3: transplant at twenty seven. He was recovering at his parents' house.

940
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 3: During this time, I met and began spending a lot

941
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,879
Speaker 3: of time with his family. His dad clearly loved his mom,

942
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 3: and I respected him for it. His mom, on the

943
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:37,280
Speaker 3: other hand, was a walking ball of anxiety. Every single

944
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 3: thing sets her off. She hyperfixates, she freaks out, her

945
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 3: voice becomes very high, and she gets confrontational because she

946
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 3: can't let things go. I noticed it when she was

947
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 3: giving my husband his medications after surgery. She couldn't let

948
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 3: others help because she had to be the one to

949
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 3: have control, or she was convinced he would take too

950
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 3: many meds pass away. She would ask me about my

951
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 3: past marriage and seem supportive, but her anxiety would pun

952
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 3: in and she would go on for hours, bringing things

953
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 3: back up and interrupting new conversations. I would watch as

954
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 3: she would hound her daughter for being too anxious or depressed,

955
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 3: My mother in law would scream and call her to

956
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,359
Speaker 3: utter names, their curse of people they weren't agreeing with her.

957
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 3: I watched her do it with her own mother. Oh wow,

958
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 3: my father in law, my husband, her sister, and countless others.

959
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,280
Speaker 3: Then it turned on me a little. When we first

960
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 3: told them we were expecting, I was scared. They surprised

961
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 3: me at first. They were really happy about the baby.

962
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 3: This whole family was so supportive verbally in the beginning.

963
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,240
Speaker 3: My mother in law would ask daily what her grandma

964
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 3: name would be. They checked in, asked about our future,

965
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,839
Speaker 3: and encourage us to buy a home. We moved in

966
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 3: with my mom so she could help us with the

967
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 3: new baby and my older child. It also allowed my

968
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,880
Speaker 3: husband to bum in with my family. My first child

969
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 3: has autism. I have a lot of medical issues, and

970
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 3: my pregnancy with my second was very hard. There was

971
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 3: a high risk of losing the baby for most of

972
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:09,880
Speaker 3: my pregnancy, which was incredibly stressful. His family knew this,

973
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 3: and his mom's anxiety and some internal biases began to show.

974
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 3: It started with questions about autism. I'll let them know,

975
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 3: and my second was at higher risk for autism since

976
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 3: I already have one with the condition. My mother in

977
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 3: law and father in law would insistently ask how I

978
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 3: would know if my youngest would be autistic or potentially

979
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 3: just copying their older sibling. I had to get research

980
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 3: from my doctor and have my daughter specialists talk to

981
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 3: them because it was super invasive and stressful. They were

982
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 3: also too afraid the baby sent my older child on

983
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 3: their role, and since they don't understand autism, it hurt

984
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 3: that it didn't seem like they were fully accepting her.

985
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 3: But then they would buy her gifts and ask about her,

986
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 3: so I thought I was just being sensitive and dropped it.

987
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 3: I really didn't want a general reveal or baby shower,

988
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 3: but since this was my husband's first child to go

989
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 3: through with this experience, I wanted him to have the memory,

990
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 3: so I agreed they're both as parents' house. The generalville

991
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,919
Speaker 3: was okay. This is when I started getting name suggestions

992
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 3: from his mom. Oh no, I politely decline and said

993
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 3: my husband and I would pick a name together. I

994
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 3: didn't realize how this would become such a big deal.

995
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 3: A month later, his grandma turned eighty. We were going

996
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 3: to throw her a big party. Last minute, my mother

997
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 3: in law had an anxiety attack and decided to cancel

998
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 3: most of the party. The band wasn't coming. She told

999
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 3: friends not to come. Grandma was devastated. We did something

1000
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 3: super low key instead with just family. While waiting for

1001
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 3: some family to arrive, my mother in law sat me

1002
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 3: down and told me she was excited for the baby.

1003
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,879
Speaker 3: She reminisced about when she was pregnant. Then she said,

1004
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,359
Speaker 3: it's crazy that I'm going to be your grandma. You're

1005
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 3: essentially my surrogrit mother, carrying on my bloodline, my family.

1006
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 3: I was floored. I quickly excused myself and my sister

1007
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 3: while I found me crying in another room.

1008
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 2: My gosh, ah.

1009
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 3: You're just a baby making a machine.

1010
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 2: To her, that's awful.

1011
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 3: A grandchild bearing circuit. Ah. She got my husband and

1012
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 3: I and told them what happened, but not to make

1013
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 3: a big deal during the party. They didn't understand what

1014
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 3: I meant, and got just meant, don't tell their mom,

1015
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 3: So they went to their dad and told him. He

1016
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:31,240
Speaker 3: immediately went to his wife and told her right there

1017
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:35,320
Speaker 3: in the middle of the birthday party. Eighty year old Grandma.

1018
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 3: She confronts me and wants to talk about it in

1019
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 3: front of everyone.

1020
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

1021
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 3: Ah, I was mortified. I was pregnant and ill. She

1022
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 3: went on and on about how I misunderstood her and

1023
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,359
Speaker 3: that's not how she meant it. Then she tried to

1024
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 3: explain it better. It wasn't better.

1025
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:56,720
Speaker 2: Oh now I'm so scared.

1026
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 3: Sheained, basically, you're carrying my child, but I'm the grandmother

1027
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 3: of it. And right, you're sohw surrogated.

1028
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 2: It's just so beautiful that, like, our our bloodline is

1029
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 2: so important, and now you're you're carrying my son's DNA

1030
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 2: and you can create another one of him, and that's

1031
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 2: what you're here for. Like that's I'm so scared. What

1032
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 2: is it gonna be?

1033
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 3: What does this mean? And then she said she was

1034
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 3: sorry and I misunderstood her, which isn't an apology at all.

1035
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,880
Speaker 3: My husband was so embarrassed and angry. He and his

1036
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 3: mom have gotten into a lot of fights over that

1037
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 3: one comment alone over the years. Oh wow, And the

1038
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 3: baby shower came around some of his family from the

1039
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 3: Mountains game and it was my first time eating them.

1040
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 3: They weren't as friendly as I thought. His family from

1041
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 3: the Mountains didn't interact with my family at all. When

1042
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,359
Speaker 3: my daughter with autism. Tried to play with them. They

1043
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 3: weren't kind to her. At this point, we had recently

1044
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 3: announced our youngest name. It was not well received. It's

1045
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 3: not traditional, it's not a family We weren't married when

1046
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 3: I gave birth, so our child has two last names

1047
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 3: ours combined. It's did it go over well? When we

1048
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 3: began opening gifts, I noticed all the cards, books, and

1049
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 3: gifts were made out to the middle name of our

1050
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 3: baby or the middle name and my husband's last name.

1051
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 3: Checks were written to this name that doesn't even exist.

1052
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:22,280
Speaker 3: I found out it wasn't because they liked the middle

1053
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 3: name better. They didn't like my last name or the

1054
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 3: first name we chose. They all decided they were going

1055
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 3: to call our baby by that instead. I was so upset.

1056
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 3: I cried, and my family was floored. It was so disrespectful.

1057
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 3: His mom would later say that she felt she deserved

1058
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 3: to be consultated in naming our baby because she's the grandmother.

1059
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 3: She had given us a handwritten list of names as

1060
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 3: she liked and approved of, and our baby's name was

1061
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:52,760
Speaker 3: on there. We ended up having a family meeting because

1062
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,760
Speaker 3: my husband and I were so upset. The surrogate comment

1063
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,879
Speaker 3: was brought up as well when my father in law

1064
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 3: threw it in my face my first child did have

1065
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,720
Speaker 3: two last names. I had to explain again my harmful

1066
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 3: first marriage and how I wasn't allowed to pick having

1067
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 3: two last names. They didn't care. I was hospitalized a

1068
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 3: couple of times for health concerns with the baby. My

1069
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 3: doctor recommended that those around the newborn needed to be

1070
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 3: up to date on their vaccines and flew shots so

1071
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 3: the baby wouldn't get sick. We told this to everyone

1072
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 3: they had to have shots at least two weeks before

1073
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 3: meeting the baby. His family waited until we were in

1074
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,400
Speaker 3: labor to do anything about getting the shots. There were

1075
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 3: a lot of complications during giving birth and we almost

1076
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 3: passed away, so when we got out, we were strict

1077
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 3: about the shots and his family was mad, and we

1078
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 3: held that boundary for the full two weeks. When they

1079
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 3: came over, they took the baby from my arms and

1080
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 3: only gave her back to breastfeet. My mother in law

1081
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 3: tried pressuring me into giving a formula and bottles so

1082
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 3: she could feed the baby. I didn't like that, so

1083
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:58,240
Speaker 3: I said no politely. I hated going to their house.

1084
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 3: They ignored our wishes about giving the baby back when

1085
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 3: she was upset so I or my husband could soothe her.

1086
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 3: I was freshly postpartum and had some PTSD from birth,

1087
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 3: and they still didn't respect those boundaries. We asked them

1088
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 3: not to kiss her on the face since she was

1089
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 3: sick when she was born, and we ended up having

1090
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 3: to go to the hospital when she was a couple

1091
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 3: of weeks old. H turns out they kissed her anyway

1092
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 3: and possibly gave her the crud they had. She had

1093
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 3: to have multiple rounds of suction to help her breathe.

1094
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, so she really the baby really was

1095
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 2: messed up from that.

1096
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1097
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 3: Thankfully she was okay, okay, But it was just another

1098
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 3: situation where they did whatever they wanted. We stopped coming

1099
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,919
Speaker 3: over as often and I avoided them to stay out

1100
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,439
Speaker 3: of the drama. I was respectful when I was there,

1101
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 3: but didn't go above and beyond anymore. Any advice, please,

1102
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 3: we have an update. I think just doubling down low contact.

1103
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, dude, I don't know if they come over

1104
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:03,280
Speaker 2: without a warning or something without your invite and maybe

1105
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 2: like print out the medical receipts, the hospital receipts to

1106
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 2: you know, show hey when my three week old baby

1107
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:18,319
Speaker 2: or however old he was, your baby was like, this

1108
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 2: is how much money we had to spend at the

1109
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 2: hospital to save his life because someone didn't respect our wishes.

1110
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,360
Speaker 1: Someone someone, Yeah.

1111
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 2: Again, honestly call her out just because you were kissing

1112
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 2: her face and you were not doing what I asked.

1113
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:36,800
Speaker 2: So if you're not going to keep our baby safe,

1114
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 2: I'm going to keep her safe and keep her out

1115
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 2: of the hospital. Yep, by not letting you around it anymore.

1116
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 3: We have an update. A couple of months later, I

1117
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 3: graduated college and found my job in a field. My

1118
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,799
Speaker 3: mother in law offered to be our childcare since she

1119
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 3: doesn't work, which saved us thousands of dollars a month.

1120
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 3: We were super grateful, and I tried to let things

1121
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 3: go since she was helping us. My husband proposed a

1122
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 3: month after the birth of our daughter. We wanted something

1123
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,840
Speaker 3: low key and small with their close friends and family.

1124
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 3: We began planning and I invited my mother in law

1125
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,479
Speaker 3: to go wedding dress shopping with me. Things started going

1126
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 3: downhill the week I went back to work. Around that time,

1127
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:16,840
Speaker 3: my mother in law's mom began to decline in her health.

1128
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 3: It was very sad, and I had so much empathy

1129
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 3: for my mother in law. I lost my father at

1130
00:54:21,719 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 3: a young age, so I completely understood and wanted to

1131
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 3: support her in grief. The whole time, my mother law

1132
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 3: reassured us that she would still watch the kids for

1133
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,400
Speaker 3: us while I went back to work. The day before

1134
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 3: I started my first day, she told us she couldn't

1135
00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 3: do it. I was upset, didn't say anything because I

1136
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 3: understood these were crazy circumstances. My sister in law stepped

1137
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 3: up and offered to watch the kids the first week,

1138
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 3: and my mother in law would resume after that. My

1139
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 3: sister in law is twenty seven. The whole week, I

1140
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 3: would rush home after work and find that she was

1141
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,320
Speaker 3: on the couch playing video games and ignoring the kids.

1142
00:54:56,680 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 3: Both kids diapers were so full and dropping that the

1143
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 3: kids developed rashes by the end of the week. Oh

1144
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,800
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, soo, we said, haven't played video games?

1145
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 4: Come on?

1146
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 3: Who? I told her tom and time again. She couldn't

1147
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 3: let it get that bad. My husband and her got

1148
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 3: to a big fight about it. To this day, over

1149
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 3: a year later. We don't let her watch the kids unsupervised.

1150
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 3: The following week, my mother in law's mom passed away.

1151
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 3: She'd been sick for years. It was very sad, but

1152
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 3: we were prepared as best as you can be. My

1153
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 3: mother in law kind of spiraled. She tried watching the kids,

1154
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 3: but it was too hard. She continually expressed how she

1155
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,319
Speaker 3: didn't know what to do with my oldest since she

1156
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 3: is a normal and has autism. She got to the

1157
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 3: point that she offered to watch her only bilogical grandchild

1158
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,879
Speaker 3: and we'll cover the cost of childcare for my oldest daughter.

1159
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 3: I was so upset. That was a dagger to the heart.

1160
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 3: I hated the plaintant favoritism, but I didn't want to

1161
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 3: make it worse, so I made arrangements and sent them

1162
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 3: the prices for childcare. Well, it was expensive, so she

1163
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,719
Speaker 3: didn't want to pay it, but also didn't want to

1164
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,920
Speaker 3: watch her either. Ended up being negotiated that she would

1165
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 3: watch her three days a week and I would outsource

1166
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 3: to a family friend to watch my older daughter twice

1167
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 3: a week, and we would cover the costs. This was

1168
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:19,959
Speaker 3: all happening while our wedding was quickly approaching. I gave

1169
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 3: all the details to the family about where to go,

1170
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:26,400
Speaker 3: what time, and dress code. Everything. I covered the cost

1171
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 3: of my mom's sister, my brother's girlfriend, and my best

1172
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 3: friend for hair and makeup. My mother in law then

1173
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 3: made an appointment to get her hair and makeup done,

1174
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,759
Speaker 3: but made a comment about not being included. I was

1175
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:40,839
Speaker 3: confused because I had offered months beforehand and she never

1176
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 3: got back to me, so I assume she didn't want to.

1177
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 3: I was accused of not telling them what was going on,

1178
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 3: and there was a big fight the week of the

1179
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:50,840
Speaker 3: wedding about how they didn't know the schedule or what

1180
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 3: to do. I was so confused and brought up how

1181
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 3: I sent them everything. We had multiple conversations. She then said, well,

1182
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 3: my mom passed away, so I forgot and you should

1183
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 3: would have done more to remind me. The day of

1184
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:04,319
Speaker 3: the wedding comes, my sister in law wasn't sure if

1185
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 3: she was gonna make it in time because she skipped

1186
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,719
Speaker 3: so many college classes. My husband was really upset, but

1187
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:11,799
Speaker 3: we focused on having a good day. We had her

1188
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 3: private vows and then did photos with the family. My

1189
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 3: mother in law didn't want to be in any photos

1190
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 3: with me, only just group photos are ones where my

1191
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 3: husband was involved. I called out to everyone before the

1192
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 3: photographer left that if we missed any combinations of people

1193
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 3: to let me know.

1194
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:31,680
Speaker 2: Now, let us know we're casting this net and making

1195
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 2: it known that it will not be our faults if

1196
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:35,440
Speaker 2: anything happens.

1197
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 3: No one said anything and the photographer left. It was

1198
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 3: that moment my sister in law came to me in

1199
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,320
Speaker 3: front of everyone, asked me if I was mad at

1200
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 3: her because I didn't take a photo with her. To

1201
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 3: be honest, I didn't know she was even there. I

1202
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,479
Speaker 3: was so mentally exhausted from the day.

1203
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 2: Oh good, that's pretty good girl.

1204
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,959
Speaker 3: Come on. But I got myself together and asked her

1205
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 3: why I shouldn't say anything with the photographer, asked for

1206
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 3: last call. She just stayed silent and cried and made

1207
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 3: it seem like I was being mean to her. I

1208
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 3: was shocked. I tried to talk to her, but it

1209
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 3: was in the middle of the wedding and I didn't

1210
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 3: have time, so I asked if we could talk after

1211
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 3: the wedding and headed through the reception. We got through

1212
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 3: the reception and my husband and I had a lovely time,

1213
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 3: ignored all the drama and focused on celebrating. Well. There

1214
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 3: was a miscommunication about the minimum food and drink we

1215
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 3: had to buy something expensive or be charged anyway, we

1216
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,919
Speaker 3: decided to splurge and buy a bottle of a very

1217
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 3: adult beverage. It was one thousand dollars bottle of champagne.

1218
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 3: We had a glass each and then let a few

1219
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 3: friends taste it. My father in law mother in law

1220
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 3: were staying at an airbnb nearby, so we asked if

1221
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 3: we could drop the bottles off before going to a

1222
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 3: bar crawl with friends. They agreed. The next morning, we

1223
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 3: went to get the bottle and discovered that they drank

1224
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 3: the rest themselves. What else do you expect that these

1225
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 3: people come on? You gotta expect the worst. When I

1226
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:09,000
Speaker 3: express that we were upset since that was our wedding

1227
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 3: bottle of champagne. It costs a lot of money, the

1228
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 3: actor like it was nothing and brushed it off. I

1229
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 3: also want to add most of my husband's family decided

1230
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 3: not to come to the wedding last minute, and we

1231
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 3: had empty tables that we paid money for one hundred

1232
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 3: and seventy five dollars a person that we didn't get back.

1233
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 3: A month later, my husband got laid off and got

1234
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 3: a new job on night shift. My mother in law

1235
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 3: never watched the kids again for us during the day

1236
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 3: after that. I want to say that we never asked

1237
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 3: her to do it, she offered. She said time and

1238
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,440
Speaker 3: time again that she wanted to be an involved grandparent,

1239
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 3: but every time she would cancel or drop the ball,

1240
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 3: that would be a fi and she would apologize but

1241
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 3: say she was sad about her mother's passing. My father

1242
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 3: in law would defend her, my sister in law would

1243
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 3: defend her, and it got to the point where it

1244
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 3: felt like me and my husband was against the rest.

1245
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,320
Speaker 3: They also would throw in our face if they helped

1246
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 3: us with money at all. They felt they didn't have

1247
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 3: to participate if they were being able to throw money

1248
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 3: at something instead, but held it over our heads, so

1249
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 3: we stopped going to them if we hit a rough patch.

1250
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 3: Then my mother in law decided staying in the house

1251
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 3: was too much for her. She started going on one

1252
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 3: to two month long vacations every other month for a year.

1253
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,920
Speaker 3: We never knew when she would be in town or not.

1254
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 3: She would get back and talk all about the great

1255
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 3: time she had. My husband and herd got into arguments

1256
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 3: that she basically bailed the first year of her only

1257
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 3: grandchild's life. But she again threw her mother's passing in

1258
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 3: her faces while they were on one of their vacations.

1259
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 3: We didn't tell them to put an offer to a house.

1260
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 3: We didn't ask for anything from them or help with

1261
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 3: closing costs. We thought they would be happy since they

1262
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 3: had been pressuring us to buy a home for two years,

1263
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 3: but we could tell that they felt some type of

1264
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 3: way about being left out of the process. Through this,

1265
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 3: we discovered that my father in law likes feeling needed

1266
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 3: financially and it may them feel good help or have

1267
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 3: that power over his kids. Okay, I get the helping part,

1268
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,640
Speaker 3: but stop holding that over people. What the heck, dude?

1269
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what what about the I'm sorry? What did

1270
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:14,120
Speaker 2: you say about having the power over your kids?

1271
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 4: Hey?

1272
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:16,400
Speaker 3: You remember those Z rings about you the other day? Yeah?

1273
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 3: I bought those for you. Don't forget that I got that.

1274
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 3: Remember that necklace too?

1275
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1276
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 3: That why one that I got that?

1277
01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 2: Cool?

1278
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 3: Everyone? I got that for her?

1279
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, big red flag.

1280
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 3: That really takes the joy out of the present.

1281
01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:29,680
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

1282
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:33,680
Speaker 3: A present is something you give without any any.

1283
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 2: Sort of like strings attached, string.

1284
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 3: Attached or anything you want back expectations from it.

1285
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, now you owe them something.

1286
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like, oh, give me some big thank you,

1287
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 3: kiss our feet every time you see us.

1288
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:47,959
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm just gonna give them necklace bag.

1289
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 3: Actually, we bought the house and they never came over.

1290
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 3: They expected us to put both kids in the car

1291
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:56,800
Speaker 3: to go thirty minutes away to their house every week.

1292
01:01:56,880 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 3: Their house isn't baby or kid proofd and things get moved,

1293
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 3: are broken, and they get upset. So we don't like

1294
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:06,400
Speaker 3: to go. Guys, we got a little bit left here, Angelina. Yeah,

1295
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 3: where's the line here? Where was your line in this

1296
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 3: whole story?

1297
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 2: I think the line could have been earlier than this,

1298
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 2: but it was definitely at hospitalizing the baby because they

1299
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 2: wanted to kiss her face.

1300
01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was gonna say, like wedding time, after

1301
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:24,920
Speaker 3: the wedding, Yeah, we're done.

1302
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 1: Dude.

1303
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 3: I just can't. I can't. I don't like the person

1304
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 3: I am around you, guys.

1305
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just one problem after an next. You don't

1306
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 2: care about me. You just don't. You don't care about

1307
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:36,960
Speaker 2: me at all. I'm supposed to be a part of

1308
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 2: your family. I'm being extremely disrespected by you, and it

1309
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 2: freaking sucks. So I just am not gonna really invite

1310
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:47,640
Speaker 2: you to things exactly and like I just don't understand

1311
01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:50,120
Speaker 2: why some of these people are just like, God, why

1312
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 2: aren't you doing all of this for me when I'm

1313
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,520
Speaker 2: like terrible to you? Why don't you want me around

1314
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:57,040
Speaker 2: when I'm like so mean to you? It's like, do

1315
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:58,200
Speaker 2: you want to say that again?

1316
01:02:58,280 --> 01:03:01,800
Speaker 3: Come on now. Currently, I barely speak with any of

1317
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 3: my in laws. I'm borderline no contact. My husband speaks

1318
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 3: to them on the phone, and we see them from

1319
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 3: time to time when they're in town. They are in

1320
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 3: the process of moving to the mountains, but they don't

1321
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:15,720
Speaker 3: like to tell people or act like they're conflicted about

1322
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 3: going because last month a friend of theirs said they

1323
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 3: thought it was weird that they were moving away from

1324
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 3: their only grandchild. So my mother in law thinks other

1325
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:27,000
Speaker 3: people think she's a bad grandma. So she says she

1326
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 3: doesn't know if she's going to move or stay here.

1327
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 3: But as we write this, she is in the mountains

1328
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 3: meeting with builders to build their dream house. Now, guys,

1329
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:38,440
Speaker 3: let's see that story end this episode. So wow, love us.

1330
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 3: Make sure to subscribe We love you and see you tomorrow.