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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Samp this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My wife's family looks down on me because I make

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Speaker 2: more than them. They should look up to you. My wife,

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Speaker 2: April and I got married about five years ago. She

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Speaker 2: has a master's degree in education. Both of her parents

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Speaker 2: have master's degrees. Her sister got two badgelor's degrees. I

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Speaker 2: never went to college. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: a user at fist bump hero and if you want

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Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 2: Owkay Storytime subbered. When April and I got married, I

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Speaker 2: was making about forty five thousand a year, which was

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Speaker 2: okay here in the rural South. I was working as

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Speaker 2: a junior system at. Her family seemed alright with me

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Speaker 2: some gentle ribbing about how I never went through college.

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Speaker 2: As time went on, the ribbing has turned into something

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Speaker 2: that makes me uncomfortable. With myself and I don't even

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Speaker 2: know how this happened, and I don't even know how

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Speaker 2: to accurately describe this. I feel like I hate myself

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Speaker 2: for being successful. I took a job a few years

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Speaker 2: ago making sixty five K a year. April was pregnant,

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Speaker 2: and I was over the moon and was also scared crapless,

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Speaker 2: and I found a better job to support us. She

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Speaker 2: was adamant that she wanted to continue to work when

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Speaker 2: the baby was born, and she has since. New job

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Speaker 2: was a good bump in pay, but April made some

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Speaker 2: comments about how someone without a degree is making twice

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Speaker 2: as much as her. She's a teacher, so before that

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Speaker 2: jump we made about equal pay. I told her that

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Speaker 2: she's doing what she wanted to do and makes a difference.

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Speaker 2: I agreed that teachers are underpaid and told her if

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Speaker 2: she valued a higher salary that she should definitely pursue that. Apparently,

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Speaker 2: April told her entire family what I was making at

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Speaker 2: my new job, that's not cool.

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Speaker 3: We should be doing that. And also, if she wanted

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Speaker 3: a high paying job, she'dn't have gone into teaching.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, if you go all the way up,

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Speaker 2: like you know, there's some professors and universities that make

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Speaker 2: stupid amounts of absolutely, like it's a very that's a

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Speaker 2: very slim yeah.

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Speaker 3: And you know, chargually a different process too, you know,

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Speaker 3: like she if she was going to school for specifically

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Speaker 3: like education for children or something like, that's a specific I.

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Speaker 2: Thought she went to oh you okay, no, you're right, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Like like like you know, like if she wanted to

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Speaker 3: pursue something.

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Speaker 2: I think she did. Yeah, yeah, I think because her

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Speaker 2: degree was like in education. Yeah, so it's like a

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Speaker 2: yeah specialized Yeah, specialized degree for sure. So Apel told

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Speaker 2: her whole family how much money I was making, and

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Speaker 2: I was really upset about this. I consider that very

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Speaker 2: personal and not anyone's business but ours. It wasn't long

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Speaker 2: after that that her brother made a comment about how

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Speaker 2: it wasn't fair that he was making less than me

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Speaker 2: because he has been working longer than me. That made

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Speaker 2: absolutely no sense to me. Hey, hey, guys, have you

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Speaker 2: heard of like field workers. Have you heard of like

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Speaker 2: manual labor? Did you know that those people work way

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Speaker 2: harder than you do or I do, or you do

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Speaker 2: or Kean does, and they don't always make a lot

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Speaker 2: of money. Yeah, it's almost as if that doesn't always

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Speaker 2: does an out, Yeah, it's not always kind of you

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Speaker 2: have master's degrees, but you're too thick to understand that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I can tell what's going on in your brain

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Speaker 4: right now. It's just electricity, it's just jolts.

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Speaker 2: No, this is just so like nonsensical that I can't

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Speaker 2: I can't not be that upset about it, because that

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Speaker 2: made absolutely no sense to me. Her sister, with two degrees,

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Speaker 2: made the same comments, except she works in a fast

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Speaker 2: food restaurant and has for the last twelve years in

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Speaker 2: a non managerial role. Her degrees are in creative writing

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Speaker 2: in psychology. Did if you work anywhere for twelve years

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Speaker 2: and you don't move up at all, that's you? That's

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Speaker 2: on you?

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Speaker 3: Also, like, yeah, come on, you got you have two

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Speaker 3: degrees that could get you a job, and you didn't

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Speaker 3: pursue anything for twelve years.

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Speaker 2: Her dad also made a comment about me making more

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Speaker 2: than him. Now he works for the state government, and

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Speaker 2: I had to convince him that he was still coming

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Speaker 2: out on top with his great benefits in retirement, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: Why was it up to me to convince him? I

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Speaker 2: have no idea. Here, we are a few years later,

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Speaker 2: as I have received raises, bonuses, et cetera, the commentating

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Speaker 2: from April's peanut Gallery family has gotten worse. They refer

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Speaker 2: to me as the one percent and how I should

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Speaker 2: be paying more taxes. They've made comments about how someone

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Speaker 2: with my limited education shouldn't be making more than.

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Speaker 3: Any of them, So stupid.

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Speaker 2: Why don't you use all that substantial education You have

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Speaker 2: to go figure out how to make more money? Smarty pants.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, come on, come on.

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Speaker 2: People walk down the street, see a kid with a

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Speaker 2: lemonade stand and they they spit on them. You say,

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Speaker 2: do you disgust me with your uneducated business practices?

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Speaker 3: Now we need to get John in here man on

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Speaker 3: freaking Star Star. It's a very successful person. You don't

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Speaker 3: have to go to college to have success. It is

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Speaker 3: just one you know what. These people need to play life,

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Speaker 3: the game of life. True, because you can be very

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Speaker 3: successful and not go to college and still win at

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Speaker 3: that game.

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Speaker 2: True.

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Speaker 3: And of course you could also be very successful and

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Speaker 3: have gone to college. There are different routes for everyone

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Speaker 3: that work for different people.

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Speaker 2: It's just so weird to have done this thing you

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Speaker 2: wanted to do. You went and got a master's and

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Speaker 2: now because like your daughter's boyfriend is or does Well,

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Speaker 2: yeah that now it's like, well, well this is actually

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Speaker 2: about me.

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Speaker 3: Like it's like, that's so embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: So they have stated multiple times how I should go

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Speaker 2: buy a lotto tickets with how lucky I am to

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Speaker 2: be getting paid what I do, and its started to

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Speaker 2: eat at me. Dude, you know what you're there? Oh

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Speaker 2: you missed that. They served it up to you like

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Speaker 2: a like a like an underhand like softball pitch. That

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Speaker 2: was just you know why, I'm really lucky because I

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Speaker 2: fell in love.

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Speaker 3: With your daughter. Yeah, you just you just really go

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Speaker 3: hard on, Like I really love your daughter. I'm so

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Speaker 3: glad and I have the ability to support your daughter.

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Speaker 2: Except he's kind of annoyed with her too because she's

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Speaker 2: doing it. Yeah, all of this blew up over the

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Speaker 2: weekend and I lost my cool. Her dad and sister

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Speaker 2: were over at our house and he was talking about

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Speaker 2: a new girlfriend his brother has. He said he couldn't

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Speaker 2: relate to her because she was uneducated and he has

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Speaker 2: nothing to say to those kinds of people. He said

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Speaker 2: this right in front of me, and I finally just

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Speaker 2: lost it.

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Speaker 3: Is the amount of like oh, like these people think

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Speaker 3: so highly of themselves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they do. This guy, all these people are broke

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Speaker 2: because they spend all of their free time smelling each

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Speaker 2: other's farts and telling you that how good they smells.

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Speaker 2: Ooh ooh that thought smells like you have a master's degree.

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Speaker 2: Ooh yum. Gross. It was like five years of me

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Speaker 2: grinning and bearing. It just exploded. I have never been

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Speaker 2: confrontational with April's family, so I guess to them, it

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Speaker 2: came out of nowhere. I told him that I was

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Speaker 2: uneducated his definition, so he has nothing to say to

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Speaker 2: me either. He gave a weak excuse about, well, well

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Speaker 2: that's different. You have experience, and I told him that

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Speaker 2: this other girl had experience too. I told him that

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Speaker 2: writing people off because they didn't follow his exact same

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Speaker 2: path of education was incredibly demeaning. Yep, not to mention

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Speaker 2: narrow minded, smarmy, self centered.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of people cannot afford to go to

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Speaker 3: college or pursue a master's degree.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and also not understanding that there is not an

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Speaker 2: equivalence between having a degree and intelligence, absolutely as evident

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Speaker 2: by these people.

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Speaker 3: They're pretty dumb.

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Speaker 2: I also told him I didn't appreciate the offhanded comments

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Speaker 2: about my salary, my lack of a college degree, and

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Speaker 2: I would appreciate it if they kept their jealousy under

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Speaker 2: a tighter lid next time they come to my house

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Speaker 2: that my lack of education pays for Oooooooooo.

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Speaker 3: That's a subburn.

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Speaker 2: You have to call the fire department. I felt really

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Speaker 2: bad and really good all at the same time. They

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Speaker 2: left under an awkward silence, and April totally ripped me.

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Speaker 2: She said I was being unfair. I told her, I

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Speaker 2: have heard enough of their comparisons of me to Donald Trump.

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Speaker 2: I'm not effing rich. I don't think he got a loan,

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Speaker 2: a small loan of a million dollars. I make a

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Speaker 2: decent living and provide for my family. I take pride

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Speaker 2: in that I love my daughter with everything I have,

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Speaker 2: and I want the best for her. I told her

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Speaker 2: the way her family, including her have been treating me

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Speaker 2: has been pretty damaging to my self confidence and I

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Speaker 2: didn't appreciate it, and I wasn't going to tolerate her

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Speaker 2: dad coming to our house and acting like an a hole.

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Speaker 2: She said, well, that's just how my dad is.

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Speaker 3: Telling the stuffman like that, then guess what he doesn't

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Speaker 3: get to be around us if that's just how your

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Speaker 3: dad is, And how come I can't be the way

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Speaker 3: that I am because this is how I am when

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Speaker 3: there's an a hole in my presence.

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Speaker 2: So let's extend that courtesy to everyone.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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Speaker 2: If we are who we are? Right? Oh, I guess

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Speaker 2: your master's degree didn't teach you that common sense. Yep,

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Speaker 2: dinga spot? Who is April? Come on, Dingis? It's gonna

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Speaker 2: be stumbles and he lost his gravity. He's stumbling atmosphere.

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Speaker 3: Finish them.

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Speaker 2: The horse and his jockey are leaving the confines of

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Speaker 2: our planet and they will travel as star dust. Who

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Speaker 2: is April? He didn't say dinga spot?

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Speaker 3: Oh oh, we've just been saying dinga spot every time

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Speaker 3: and we're not supposed to.

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Speaker 2: This is new, So no dinga spot. You just press

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Speaker 2: a button and it goes here it is. I'm trying something.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, dingas Spot.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's let if that is your real name,

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Speaker 2: let's do this this Wait, is is it Hannah? Because

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Speaker 2: we just say nothing and then ask you a question.

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Speaker 3: Clever.

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Speaker 2: This also gets worse. It is really sad that I

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Speaker 2: have to say this is the worst part. I accepted

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Speaker 2: a new job a few days ago. I spent the

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Speaker 2: last few years paying for my own additional training, networking,

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Speaker 2: taking on projects at work, et cetera. I accepted a

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Speaker 2: role as a senior systems architect for a cloud provider.

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Speaker 2: They offered me a generous one hundred and five thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars a year salary and a month's vacation, and my

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Speaker 2: wife basically made me feel like crap for it. She

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Speaker 2: literally broke down into tears. She said, verbatim, she can't

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Speaker 2: be happy for me. Oh God, I don't even understand

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Speaker 2: how that is effing possible. She said, she doesn't like

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Speaker 2: her job, and it is sad that I'm going to

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Speaker 2: be making two and a half times more than she is,

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Speaker 2: even though she has a degree and I have nothing.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know how to respond.

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Speaker 3: Are jealousies so so consuming?

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Speaker 2: All consuming? Do we have ages I can get? And

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Speaker 2: I literally have a personal anecdote for this exact moment

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Speaker 2: because I was dating when I was like nineteen, I

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Speaker 2: was dating at another we were both actors, and she

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Speaker 2: ended up booking this role, and when I heard about

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Speaker 2: it over the phone, like my immediate reaction was jealousy

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Speaker 2: instead of just being like just sad and jealous and

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Speaker 2: being like, I.

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Speaker 3: Can't be happy for you about that.

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Speaker 2: I like worked, I pushed through that and I like

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Speaker 2: told her congratulations. And then when I saw her, I

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Speaker 2: was like, hey, so this weird thing happened and I

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Speaker 2: actually got really jealous of you and it felt I

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Speaker 2: don't know, it felt weird. And we talked about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I didn't blame her for my feelings. I didn't kind

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Speaker 2: of come.

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Speaker 3: With him and said I'm like so proud of you.

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Speaker 3: I'm feeling a lot of self kind of insecurity, like

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Speaker 3: insecurity about my job, about what I've done with my life.

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Speaker 3: I need to work on that, but I would love

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Speaker 3: your help in finding maybe a job that does give

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Speaker 3: me a little bit more security and a little bit

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Speaker 3: more you know, security and in my work in myself.

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Speaker 2: You know, if you really did get that master's degree,

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Speaker 2: I'd be asking your husband like, hey, can I cheat

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Speaker 2: off your homework? Like can I copy your answers? How

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Speaker 2: did you do this? I like to do this, help

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Speaker 2: me do this? Op.

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Speaker 4: Twenty nine Okay, and my wife thirty two female, so

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Speaker 4: April is thirty two.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's and I bet there's also kind of

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Speaker 3: that age age thing too. They see this younger guy, yeah,

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Speaker 3: who doesn't have a degree, who's doing really well for himself,

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Speaker 3: and they're.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, well, and it's the two parents that also

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Speaker 2: have the master's degree and then she has, so it's

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Speaker 2: like this is a family tradition. Yeah, looking down on

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Speaker 2: others for not having degrees.

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Speaker 3: Dude, I think it's also I don't know. I think

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Speaker 3: I just have a different perspective on this because I'm

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Speaker 3: like so entrenched in the YouTube sphere where so many

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Speaker 3: people don't go to college and become very successful, and

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Speaker 3: it's just there's just so many different routes for people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and there is.

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Speaker 3: There's not one path, there's many different ones that all

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Speaker 3: that can all lead to success and also lead to failure.

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Speaker 2: Correct. So she's breaking down saying, I can't be happy

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Speaker 2: for you because you did nothing to earn this. Essentially,

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Speaker 2: I didn't know how to respond. After a few minutes

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Speaker 2: to collect my thoughts, I told her that she shouldn't

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Speaker 2: be happy for me. I told her that she should

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Speaker 2: be happy for us. I also told her if she

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Speaker 2: was unhappy with her job, she should just quit and

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Speaker 2: stay home with our daughter or find a part time job.

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Speaker 2: The real sick thing about this, though, is that I'm

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Speaker 2: starting to believe the crap her family has been saying.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I don't deserve what this new job is going

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Speaker 2: to pay me. I feel like I've been conditioned to

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Speaker 2: think that if someone went to college, they are immediately

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Speaker 2: better than me, and I think April has been conditioned

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Speaker 2: of that too. She isn't a bad person, although my

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Speaker 2: story may paint her in a harsh light. Like we've

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Speaker 2: said earlier today, this is one negative example of their relationship.

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Speaker 2: And I guarantee you all of these thoughts she has

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Speaker 2: have been programmed into her by her parents her entire life.

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Speaker 2: So I'm not I saw a lot of divorced chants

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Speaker 2: in the in the chat, I'm not going there because

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Speaker 2: they also have a kid.

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Speaker 3: They have a kid. I think this is a conversation

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Speaker 3: thing that they can work through. But I do think

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Speaker 3: it's like, oh, we're we're It's not good, right, It's

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Speaker 3: very not good.

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Speaker 2: It's a very deep seated issue.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, her jealousy is is just out of control.

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Speaker 2: Parents. Who cares? I'm literally the parents are I'm not

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Speaker 2: even hearing them. All I care about is fixing the

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Speaker 2: dynamic with my wife.

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Speaker 3: I agree. I don't think. I don't think this is

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Speaker 3: when you have a kid and you're married. I don't

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Speaker 3: think this is like, but this is like take a minute,

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Speaker 3: let's go to therapy. Let's figure out your jealousy. And

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Speaker 3: if we can't, then that's another story. But try first.

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Speaker 2: And I think maybe she's trying to ask for it

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Speaker 2: in a weird way, like she broke down and set

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Speaker 2: all this stuff that she's probably just been thinking on

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Speaker 2: the inside. Now that's out in the open, and be like, Okay, well,

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Speaker 2: let's get you not feeling like this right. You don't

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Speaker 2: want to feel this way, Let's figure out how to

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Speaker 2: get there without tearing me down, right, since i'm your husband.

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Speaker 2: But I think her family has pushed the you must

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Speaker 2: go to college or you will be a complete failure narrative,

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Speaker 2: and she doesn't know how to reconcile that someone who

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Speaker 2: didn't go to college isn't a complete failure. Trust me,

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Speaker 2: I'm not bashing college. I'm not anti college. I wish

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Speaker 2: I went to college. I'm under no illusion that multiple

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Speaker 2: doors were probably closed to me, and it took me

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Speaker 2: longer to break into this field without a degree. I

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Speaker 2: want my daughter to go to college because it will help.

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Speaker 2: It just wasn't for me at that time in my life,

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Speaker 2: and I made the best I could out of the situation.

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Speaker 2: So I have three real questions. One, how do I

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Speaker 2: get out of the mindset where I'm starting to internally

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Speaker 2: believe this nonsense. I don't even know how to describe it.

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Speaker 2: I logically know that their BS isn't true, but there's

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Speaker 2: part of me doubting that, and it is affecting my

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Speaker 2: self confidence. I'm starting to feel guilty for being successful

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Speaker 2: professionally therapy, therapy, thereby therapy.

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Speaker 3: Individual therapy, marriage counsel.

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Speaker 2: And individual therapy. For that one, I'd say number two,

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Speaker 2: how do I get April and I on the same page.

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Speaker 2: We've had some rocky times in our marriage, but we've

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Speaker 2: worked through them. But I almost feel guilty now for

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Speaker 2: trying to be the best I can be professionally because

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Speaker 2: I know it just makes her feel like crap. Maybe

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Speaker 2: I am defending her a little too much by laying

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Speaker 2: the blame with her family. I don't know when she

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Speaker 2: said she couldn't be happy for me that I got

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Speaker 2: a new job that would put us into a comfort

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Speaker 2: of living outside of our friends and both of our families.

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Speaker 2: It crushed me. Also therapy that one's the couple's therapy. Three,

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Speaker 2: how do I handle her family? I'm not very confrontational,

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Speaker 2: and I feel bad about how I reacted to the

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Speaker 2: underhanded comment her dad made the other day. It's okay,

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Speaker 2: you only feel bad because you're not used to confronting people.

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Speaker 2: What you did was perfectly fine. I told April. I

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Speaker 2: didn't want an apology. I just want her family to

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Speaker 2: be clear that they wouldn't be welcomed at my house

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Speaker 2: if they weren't going to be respectful of either of us.

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Speaker 2: And I felt that them acting like they have been

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Speaker 2: towards me is being disrespectful not only to me, but

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Speaker 2: to her as well. Edit quick clarifications here from Ope.

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Speaker 2: This has all made me feel a lot better. Here's

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Speaker 2: a couple of things this has made up. Crowd blah

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Speaker 2: blah blah. I wish it was it is not. La

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Speaker 2: yah yah yah. And by the way, you know what's

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Speaker 2: also not made up is the fact that you can

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Speaker 2: listen to full episodes with stories like this true on Spotify,

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00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:26,720
Speaker 2: iHeart Radio, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts, just

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Speaker 2: search Okay, storytime, search it up, man, Well you need

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Speaker 2: it's all you need to do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this is like just the therapy, therapy, therapy,

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Speaker 3: and see if that works before we make any big,

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Speaker 3: big decisions. Amy lensays April is stuck on the idea

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Speaker 3: that the only certain, that only certain people should be

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Speaker 3: rewarded because only college degrees work hard. Yeah, it has

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Speaker 3: a very misguided view of how the world operates. And

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Speaker 3: Miss Boozy says, if your immediate instinct isn't to be

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Speaker 3: happy for your partner when they find success, there's a

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Speaker 3: severe prompt.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Everyone deals with jealousy. That is a very normal human feeling.

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Speaker 3: But it is how we handle it. It is how we,

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Speaker 3: you know, move going like, move going forward, How we

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Speaker 3: limit the amount of jealousy, and how we you know,

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Speaker 3: read our partner when we're feeling that jealousy.

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Speaker 2: Be We have to be aware of how we're feeling

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Speaker 2: and how we're thinking.

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Speaker 3: Identifying the feeling is the first step.

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Speaker 2: And there is a little bit more story here, So

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Speaker 2: let's read it. Let's go ahead and finish it. So

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Speaker 2: to everyone else, I really appreciate it. A lot of

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Speaker 2: strong advice here. I plan on discussing things with my

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00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,600
Speaker 2: wife and have a lot of great information here. I

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Speaker 2: didn't try to paint her as a bad person, and

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Speaker 2: I don't really think she is. I think she's just

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Speaker 2: having a problem reconciling her belief she was raised with

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Speaker 2: what her teachers taught her and what college taught her,

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Speaker 2: and blah blah blah blah blah, and that all of

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Speaker 2: that isn't one hundred percent factual. I think she's also

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Speaker 2: burned out in her her profession, and I know there's

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Speaker 2: a big upheaval with the whole common core push in

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Speaker 2: the US, and many teachers are battling this. I don't

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Speaker 2: know enough to make an educated opinion on it, to

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Speaker 2: be honest, I just know it stresses her out. We

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Speaker 2: are also new parents. Our daughter is three, and I

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Speaker 2: think there's just a lot going on right now contributing

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Speaker 2: to it, and she's calling into questions some core belief

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Speaker 2: she holds. There's just a lot going on. I really

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Speaker 2: want to make sure I handle it appropriately with her.

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Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. And I'm

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Speaker 2: on and I like that. I like that. I doo therapy,

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00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 2: though definitely need definitely need some therapy.

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Speaker 3: Therapy, therapy, therapy.

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Speaker 2: Just got to like get to these you know, nuggets

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Speaker 2: of realization.

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Speaker 3: Things are very tough for teachers. I will absolutely, you know,

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Speaker 3: concede that, but yeah, she needs to figure out how

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Speaker 3: to deal with tough things that happen in her life

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Speaker 3: without taking them out on you.

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Speaker 2: Correct, you know. And and I just got out of

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Speaker 2: I got out of high school like right as the

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Speaker 2: common core shift happened. And I'm so glad that I did,

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Speaker 2: because from everything I've heard from my younger family members,

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Speaker 2: it just is dumb, just a dumber way to do math.

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Speaker 2: John here, og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

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Speaker 2: but a quick three minute break from ass form more sponsors.

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Speaker 3: I reconnected with a previous affair partner and we might

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Speaker 3: have a son together.

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00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 2: Oh that sounds like you made a mess.

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Speaker 3: I know many of you will have strong feelings about

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00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 3: me because of what I've done, WOA, and I understand

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00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 3: and do not blame you. All I ask is that

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Speaker 3: you put that aside for a moment and help me

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Speaker 3: if you can.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I'm putting it aside, putting it aside. You're

428
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Speaker 2: a perfect, faultless baby.

429
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,199
Speaker 3: About five years ago, I started an affair with a

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Speaker 3: coworker at my job who I'll call Ashley no longer.

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Speaker 2: You are guilty, baby, guilty, guilty baby.

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Speaker 3: At first we were just friends, but we got too close.

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00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about, like going undercover. You got it

434
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,640
Speaker 3: too deep and crossed many boundaries that we never should have.

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Speaker 2: I was working for the US Marshals.

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00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 3: Point break. By the way, this comes from walking the street.

437
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Speaker 3: And if you want to spit your own stories, go

438
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay, storytime supparate it. So when

439
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 3: we both started having some difficulties in our relationships, mine

440
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 3: because of my wife's PPD and hers because her boyfriend

441
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 3: didn't give her the attention she wanted, we turned to

442
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 3: each other for emotional support. All right, wait, hold on, sorry,

443
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 3: hold on everyone, Oh be cheated on their pregnant wife.

444
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 2: Actually no, just gave birth wife because.

445
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, sorry, you're right. You're right in a way,

446
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 3: we cheated on there recently given birth wife. I was pregnant.

447
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 3: Why I had hit a Dakota for that one?

448
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 4: Uh?

449
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,679
Speaker 2: She hits me a lot. No, guilty baby, yeah, guilty,

450
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 2: very guilty baby. He's like, I would like everyone to

451
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 2: not judge me, because if you do I'll be bad.

452
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:59,639
Speaker 3: I told you not to judge me. You can't judge me, Okay. Anyway,

453
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 3: Gradually this turned into a physical relationship, and before I

454
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 3: knew it, I was having spicy sleep with Ashley on

455
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 3: a regular basis.

456
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 2: Who what what are you stupid? Before I knew it,

457
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 2: Oh well, I'm sorry, you sleepwalking.

458
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 3: The affair lasted for close to a year.

459
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 2: All right, let's let's we gotta keep going.

460
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 3: We can.

461
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 2: If we do this, we would stop at everything right,

462
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,360
Speaker 2: There's no way.

463
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 3: But the guilt of cheating on my wife and neglecting

464
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 3: my family started to get to me. Oh my god.

465
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,120
Speaker 3: Every time that I'm feeling something, I'm just gonna look

466
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 3: at the camera and I'm gonna move on, because you

467
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 3: already understand that I feel the way that I feel.

468
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 3: I tried to break things off with Ashley, but she

469
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 3: had gotten too attached and it started imagining us becoming

470
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 3: a real couple. She was able to keep me in

471
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 3: her hand for a while, but I eventually broke things off.

472
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 3: She did not take this well, and her reaction was

473
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 3: what led to us both getting caught.

474
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 2: Oh it wasn't that you were having an affair with her.

475
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 2: It was her action after the fact that got you

476
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 2: caught you Actually, I'm I'm not. I'm no, Well, you

477
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 2: know what, We're gonna do it the other way. They

478
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 2: We're going to do the story the other way because

479
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 2: I can't do this story while pretending like I agree

480
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 2: with anything this guy says.

481
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 3: Our affair was discovered by our boss, and we both

482
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 3: lost our jobs for breaking company policy.

483
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:11,959
Speaker 2: Who sucks to suck?

484
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 3: Once this happened, then everyone else around us discovered what

485
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 3: had been happening. I made the choice to recommit to

486
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,919
Speaker 3: my wife and work on our marriage.

487
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 2: Is that what they call it?

488
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 3: Ashley, on the other hand, decided that she needed a

489
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 3: clean break and moved to the West Coast. My wife

490
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 3: and I entered counseling, and it took us several years

491
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 3: to get back to a place where she could say

492
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 3: she trusted and loved me. Yeah, you cheated on her

493
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 3: for a year.

494
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,119
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, We went counseling and she knew, and then

495
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 2: you got back to zero.

496
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 3: I know now how unfortunate I am to have how

497
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,719
Speaker 3: fortunate I am to have my wife that is so

498
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 3: forgiving and loves me so much. And I have tried

499
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 3: every day since the affair ended to be worthy of

500
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 3: her love and forgiveness. Seeing how it has been a

501
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 3: few years since those events, I think we both figured

502
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 3: the affair was well past us, but I am now

503
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 3: afraid that it is not an may never be.

504
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, did you guys hear that when you guys,

505
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,719
Speaker 2: when people blink, sometimes they have kids.

506
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. For a year. For a year. Two months ago,

507
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 3: Ashley moved back to the area. I wasn't aware of

508
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 3: it at the time, but I found this out after

509
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,439
Speaker 3: one of my friends, slash former co workers, sent me

510
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 3: a panicked email about two weeks ago letting me know

511
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 3: that there was something I should be aware of. Apparently,

512
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 3: Ashley reached out to her to see about grabbing dinner

513
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 3: sometime to catch up. The friend accepted Ashley's offer, only

514
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 3: just to discover that Ashley had a son. Now all right,

515
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 3: The friend tells me in the email that the boy

516
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 3: looks a lot like me, and because of his age

517
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 3: almost four, could be mine. I sent back an email

518
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 3: asking if Ashley had claimed that he was my son,

519
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 3: and she said that Ashley would not tell her who

520
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 3: the boy's father was. My curiosity got the better of me,

521
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 3: and I decided to stalk Ashley to see if I

522
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 3: should be worried. On Facebook, there weren't many photos of

523
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 3: the boy I could see, but from what I saw,

524
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 3: he does look like me and like my other son

525
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 3: when he was around the same age. I was concerned

526
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 3: enough at this point that I decided to contact Ashley.

527
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 3: And Uh, before you did that, you you talked to

528
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 3: your wife, right.

529
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 2: I would bet you five million dollars he didn't.

530
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 3: I told her that, given our history and the age

531
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 3: of the boy, I was concerned that he might be

532
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 3: my son. This is what she said, it's been a

533
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 3: long time. Oh, pe, Yeah, he's your son. He looks

534
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 3: so much like you, doesn't he. He's your smile and laugh.

535
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 3: He's just the most precious boy in the world. And

536
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 3: I would love so much for you to meet him,

537
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 3: and for him to meet his daddy. I know we

538
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 3: both made mistakes in the past, but at least our

539
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 3: love produced one good thing. Winky face, let me know

540
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 3: of a time that works for you.

541
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 2: What I mean? Am I crazy for thinking that was

542
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: like low key? The best way she could have gone

543
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 2: about that? That was so densely casual, right, That's what

544
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 2: I mean. It's like, hey, yeah, that's your key. I

545
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 2: feel like that's yeah, Hey, glad you noticed that it

546
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 2: looks like you. Yeah, it is your son. I've raised him.

547
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 3: He's great.

548
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 2: I love him. I mean, hey, we definitely made a

549
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 2: huge mike, but got something great out of it. The

550
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:03,640
Speaker 2: good old Forest comes.

551
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 3: That was incredibly casual.

552
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, ask, you're so in Forest. I guess

553
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 2: I'm just I don't know. Okay, I don't know.

554
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 3: It's been about a week since that response, but so

555
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 3: far I haven't been able to decide what I need

556
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 3: or how to respond. I feel lost. I wake up

557
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 3: one day and then I have another son. How do

558
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 3: I even know if he's mine?

559
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: Because well, I mean, if he's mine.

560
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: It looks like you, same age as you know when

561
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 3: she was cheating with you for a year. Is it

562
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 3: even worth it to respond back?

563
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 2: You suck?

564
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 4: Dude?

565
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 3: Oh he sucks. I think about all the drama that

566
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 3: could be unleashed if I really explore this. But if

567
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 3: he is my son, I can't just pretend like he

568
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 3: doesn't exist.

569
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 2: Brother, you should have thought about all the drama you

570
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 2: were gonna unleash. Start banging this lady.

571
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 3: I think I have to know for his sake and mine.

572
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 3: This is a lot to think about, and I have

573
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 3: no idea how to approach my wife about this. It's

574
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,119
Speaker 3: like reopening an old wound and I hate it, but

575
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 3: I don't think ignore it would do any good. Bro.

576
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 2: He's talking like he like he went into a bar

577
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 2: with his wife and like his ex girlfriend is in there. Yeah,

578
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 2: and he's like, what do we do about this? What

579
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 2: do we do? Do? I mean, do I even say anything?

580
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 2: Or should I just ignore her?

581
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 3: Do I just ignore the fact that I have a

582
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 3: child and never tell my wife?

583
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 2: JESU.

584
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 3: I can't wait to read these comments, so we're gonna

585
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 3: get into them. Yeah. Common one, there are a few

586
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 3: steps you need to take now. One, tell your wife yesterday. Yes,

587
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 3: it will reopen the old wound. Yes, it means you

588
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 3: have to admit you contacted your ex, which was a

589
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 3: mistake in my opinion. But that's water under the bridge

590
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 3: and that's likely to infuriate your wife. But not telling

591
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 3: her is immediately breaking whatever trust she's gotten back. Number two,

592
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 3: paternity test yesterday. Also, you and your wife need some

593
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 3: sort of plan of attack if the kid really is

594
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 3: yours and if your wife still wants a marriage. Number three,

595
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 3: make it very clear to Ashley that you are not

596
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 3: in any way, shape or form getting in any type

597
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 3: romantic relationship with her after you tell your wife. Of course,

598
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 3: Opie says, I think that's a good strategy. I was

599
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 3: thinking about maybe contacting a lawyer to help with the

600
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 3: pat test. I don't know that Ashley would make it difficult,

601
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 3: but if it is my son, I'd like to try

602
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 3: and get some visitation rights. Comment to are you saying

603
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 3: you cheated unprotected shortly after your wife had a baby

604
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 3: for basically the first year of your child's life. Jesus,

605
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 3: that's absolutely terrible and I have zero sympathy for you. Honestly,

606
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 3: this could very well be the final nail in the

607
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 3: coffin from your wife's perspective, and you are even more

608
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 3: of a bad person if you try and prevent her

609
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 3: from leaving by guilting her. It's one thing to move

610
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 3: on from an affair, but you can't move on from

611
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 3: a living human which you created. If the child is yours,

612
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 3: we are talking about child support, visitation, etc. The whole

613
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 3: situation will become a huge part of your life unless

614
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 3: you plan on being a deadbeat father to this child.

615
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: Ah My money. I'm putting it all on red for

616
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 2: that one baby.

617
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 3: Pep tell her then get a eternity desk. Don't be

618
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 3: surprised if your entire life implodes on you. That is

619
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 3: the consequences of fothering a child with someone other than

620
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 3: your wife while she was going through PPD up day.

621
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, agreed with all the comments.

622
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 2: I see how the update starts with, so a lot

623
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 2: has happened, and I hope what has happened is that

624
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 2: the community got together. They took all the excess lumber,

625
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 2: you know, all the excess building materials in the area.

626
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 2: It built a large tribuche yep. And they flung you

627
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: into the next county so you don't bother anyone around you. Yep. Oh,

628
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 2: get ready to fly be flung again because the next

629
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 2: county over is gonna start building their tributeh as soon

630
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 2: as you land.

631
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 3: Buddy, got a skipping stone situation, you.

632
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 2: Know, And look, honestly, like, clearly people are not perfect, right,

633
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: Everyone makes mistakes. This guy's clearly made like huge mistakes.

634
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 3: Oh, and he keeps making it.

635
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 2: And he's like and he's like, what do I do? Hey, buddy,

636
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 2: You've got to eat it. You gotta eat the crow.

637
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 2: You gotta own your mistakes. You have to deal with

638
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 2: and live with the consequences of them. Unfortunately, a way

639
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 2: to live life afterwards.

640
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: The thing is, this is the type of mistake that

641
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 3: follows you. It will haunt you forever. Yep, that sucks.

642
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 3: You made it. You made that choice and you have

643
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 3: to live with it.

644
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: Can be maybe a blessing if you let it change

645
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 2: you in a way that is positive and persisting. Yeah,

646
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: but you know you're not gonna it's this is an

647
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 2: unwinnable scenario.

648
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 3: So a lot has happened since the last post. The

649
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 3: first thing that I did was tell my wife about

650
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 3: everything that had been happening. That was not pretty fun,

651
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 3: and it opened up a lot of old wounds. Maybe

652
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 3: what upset are the most was the fact that I

653
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 3: had contacted Ashley in private without her knowledge.

654
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's almost like you're breaking the trust that you

655
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 2: established and built. Yeah, you know.

656
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 3: I apologized for hiding it from her and for keeping

657
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 3: her in the dark about the situation, but I assured

658
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 3: her that I was just as surprised about what Ashley

659
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 3: was claiming, which is why I reacted so poorly.

660
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 2: He still doesn't get it. He's Accidently, he tried to explain, like, well, again,

661
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 2: the only reason I didn't say this is because I

662
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,479
Speaker 2: thought that you'd be upset.

663
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 3: Fortunately for me, my wife is very loving and supportive.

664
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 3: We know that even when I don't deserve those things.

665
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 3: She said that when she decided to stay with me,

666
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 3: she meant it and this hasn't changed her mind. Wow,

667
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 3: you chose the most forgiving person in the world. We

668
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 3: are in counseling again, but I think we're doing well

669
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 3: considering the size of this bombshell. Things have also gone

670
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 3: well on the Ashley side. Just to go ahead and

671
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 3: get it out of the way, we did the paternity

672
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 3: test and Ashley was telling the truth. The child is mine.

673
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 3: After that was settled, my wife told me that I

674
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 3: could be as involved with my son as Ashley or

675
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 3: a court would allow. It was my decision. I decided

676
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 3: that the best thing for everyone involved would be for

677
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 3: Ashley to continue to have majority custody of the child,

678
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 3: with me being allowed to see him on weekends, special occasions,

679
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 3: and whenever she wanted a break from mommy duty. We

680
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 3: also came up with a number in terms of monthly

681
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 3: child support that was fairly generous. We discussed all of

682
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 3: this with Ashley, and she agreed and maybe even encouraged

683
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 3: me to be as involved as I could. So now

684
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 3: we're staying out of the court system. I might be wrong,

685
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 3: but I think that Ashley really wants to work with

686
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 3: my wife and me to make sure that our son

687
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 3: is well provided for and well cared for. I've seen

688
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 3: them a number of times now, and so far the

689
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 3: experiences have been very positive and a lot of fun,

690
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 3: although there are obviously boundaries and rules that govern our

691
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 3: interactions as is needed. Obviously, you guys should listen to

692
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 3: full episodes of stories just like this. Uh de DOOI

693
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 3: just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search

694
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 3: a Pokes story time. But there is a little bit

695
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 3: left to the story.

696
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: Any final thought, dude, She's counting down the days until

697
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 2: their kid turns eighteen and then she is out one

698
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 2: hundred percent. She's staying with you for the kid, which

699
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 2: you know, is it always the best thing to do?

700
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 3: No, I don't know. I don't know if she is.

701
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 3: I think I believe she's genuinely just incredibly forgiving.

702
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: I have to believe this. I have to believe that

703
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 2: she's just she's just playing the long game. And she's like,

704
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 2: our kids are going to have as stable of an

705
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: upbringing as I can possibly provide them, and as soon

706
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: as they are an adult, I am leaving this man

707
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: and then they get two Christmases.

708
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 4: This.

709
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like I mean, in general, either way, this

710
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: woman is incredibly loyal or patient towards something.

711
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 2: Wow, and this guy must be really hot.

712
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 3: You do not deserve your wife. But there is a

713
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 3: little bit left to the story. On a side note,

714
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 3: she was right. He is a very strong and independent

715
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 3: person for someone's age, but he also has a very

716
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 3: gentle and loving heart. We are taking things slowly, but

717
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 3: hopefully my son can come for an overnight visit soon.

718
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 3: I appreciate everyone's advice, and I have to say that

719
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 3: I feel extremely lucky for this situation to have turned

720
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 3: out as well as it did. Yeah.

721
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: Well you at least you're aware of that.

722
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

723
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Okay, okay, okay, okay. That's the end of

724
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 2: the story. Though, Nope, can't do it. I can't forgive him. Sorry,

725
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 2: I tried. I tried, right there. I was about to

726
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 2: say some stuff about some and I can't because I

727
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 2: don't believe it. I would not forgive this guy. I

728
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 2: would have left him, and I would have co parented.

729
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,439
Speaker 2: I would not have stayed in a marriage with this man,

730
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 2: And I would teach my kid the values of loyalty

731
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 2: and trust and the consequences of breaking those things once

732
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 2: they were old enough to understand what it happened. Poison

733
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 2: Toonic says, I would one hundred percent bet he would

734
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 2: sleep with the affair partner if she was into it. Yeah,

735
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 2: of course, because he did it faced virtually no consequences

736
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 2: other than like his wife being down to clean.

737
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 3: It up, like you got fired, and that was it.

738
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 3: That was seemingly his only consequence.

739
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he would have never admitted to it. He

740
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 2: would have never admitted to it. I said. The only

741
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 2: reason we got caught was because of what she did. Yes,

742
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 2: she made He's never gonna admit.

743
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 3: It or something. But let's get into this next story.

744
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam.

745
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,720
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories.

746
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 1: But here's three of bits of bads from our sponsors

747
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: that keep the show alive.

748
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 2: My husband's ex wants to meet after repeatedly causing trouble,

749
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 2: not me, not mean me, stay far away, trouble and uh,

750
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 2: there's a trigger warning here for physical violence. If you

751
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 2: can't hear a story with physical violence, don't listen to

752
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 2: this one. This will probably be long, so I'll try

753
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 2: to lay out a timeline and be as concise as possible.

754
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 2: And by the way, this comes from user strength. And

755
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,800
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

756
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,280
Speaker 2: the our slash Okay storytime subprend it so August November

757
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 2: twenty thirteen, she sends repeated threats of violence towards me

758
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 2: and towards my then boyfriend. All are reported to the

759
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,720
Speaker 2: police as a non emergency, but for documentation. October twenty thirteen,

760
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 2: possible home invasion. We came home from a friend's birthday

761
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 2: on a night where there was a show near our

762
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 2: house that we knew she'd attended. When we got home,

763
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 2: there were muddy boot prints leading up to the front

764
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: door through our yard. I don't even know if that

765
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 2: that sound seems like that they didn't break in, but

766
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 2: they just wanted to like scare you into thinking that

767
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 2: they did, because it's like leaving the muddy boot prints,

768
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 2: It's like, what are they like, It's what does Scooby do? Like?

769
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: My husband is absolutely immaculate. So when we walked in

770
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 2: and they were muddy footprints across the carpet. Oh, he

771
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: was well, never mind. He was stunned and discussed there

772
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,360
Speaker 2: was mud on our bed and one of his bathroom

773
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 2: towels was missing, as well as my car keys, which

774
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,320
Speaker 2: were on the counter. She was the only person besides

775
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:38,919
Speaker 2: him at the time who had a key, and all

776
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 2: locks were changed the next morning. She vehemently denied doing

777
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 2: this when he brought it up to her, vehemently, vehemently them.

778
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 2: She vehemently denied it when he brought it up to

779
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 2: her a few weeks later. May or may not have

780
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 2: been her, but the only things moved or missing were

781
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 2: my keys in his bathroom towel with no windows unlocked

782
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 2: and no signs of forced entry. Yet it was her. Yeah,

783
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 2: what is she gonna do? Say? You got me?

784
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, arrest me.

785
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: You have found me. November twenty thirteen, she came up

786
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,439
Speaker 2: behind us, dragged me off him, and dumped a drink

787
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 2: over his head. We began the process of filing and

788
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,760
Speaker 2: restraining order. Ye, this is the event she repeatedly cites

789
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 2: to her friends and the world that he attacked her,

790
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 2: approached her and h it hair and why her friends to

791
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 2: this day says she holds a grudge and acts the

792
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 2: way she does towards us. After this incident, she started

793
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 2: telling everyone we knew this fake story and that she

794
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 2: was attacked by him for no reason. We did not

795
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 2: tell anyone much about it for a few reasons. A

796
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 2: friend of ours was there who witnessed everything and knew

797
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 2: the truth. We felt like the claims were so far

798
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 2: removed from who he is as a man that no

799
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 2: one would believe it anyway, and we do not like

800
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 2: the airing of personal business and had no intentions of

801
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 2: starting a blame game or making our friends feel like

802
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 2: there were sides to be picked. Two weeks later, we

803
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 2: were out and she showed up. She got in his

804
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 2: face in front of everyone we know, screaming, are you

805
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:08,280
Speaker 2: gonna hit me again? Mother? Effort? So we left December

806
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 2: twenty thirteen. Can I just say, really quickly, you know

807
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 2: what the funniest response could have been to that is

808
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 2: if you like jokingly just like went on God, and

809
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 2: you like took like a nineteen twenties like boxing like style,

810
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, fight has yet to commence, like like

811
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 2: just you know you have to outweird this person.

812
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 3: This person's being.

813
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 2: Weird in a creepy way. Yeah, you have to be

814
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,720
Speaker 2: weird and an unpredictable.

815
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,439
Speaker 3: We don't know if that's the best advice, but it is good.

816
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 3: It's funny advice.

817
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 2: It would be funny, it would be really funny.

818
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 3: It would be really funny.

819
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 2: Twenty day restraining order granted. But my husband was laughed

820
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 2: out of court, essentially since he was claiming abuse from

821
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,879
Speaker 2: a woman and did not have a lawyer. But she did.

822
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 3: I hate that. I hate that. That's not like men

823
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 3: experience abusive relationships. They should be believed. I don't know

824
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 3: about that.

825
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 2: That was my impression of the court. Yeah, that was

826
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 2: me doing my coat a woman.

827
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,280
Speaker 3: N I don't believe it.

828
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 2: But woman smaller than man? How woman abused man? Man?

829
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 3: Stupid?

830
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 2: She cried about spending her kid's Christmas money on a

831
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 2: lawyer and missing her daughter's school Christmas party, so the

832
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 2: judge determined that she had learned her lesson and would

833
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 2: know to stay away from him. That day, she posted

834
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 2: a picture on her Facebook of a fire she'd set

835
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,799
Speaker 2: to a Christmas stocking she had made for him. Twenty

836
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 2: fourteen was fairly quiet, she consistently spread gossip about him,

837
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 2: which most of the people we know have come to believe,

838
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: which is the problem with taking a passive approach to

839
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:35,720
Speaker 2: this kind of stuff.

840
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think you have to, like, you

841
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 3: have to reach out everyone and be like, hey, just

842
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 3: want to let you know. Here's the proof. We literally

843
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 3: went to court for this. Do we did not do

844
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:45,280
Speaker 3: the things that she's claiming.

845
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 2: Correct, is actively stalking us Your decision to like not

846
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 2: give your friend's sides to pick. Really, all you did

847
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 2: was give this woman a chance to give your friends

848
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 2: sides to pick based off of false information. Yeah, so

849
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 2: you know there be a there was going to be

850
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 2: a conflict in a war here regardless, So you should

851
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 2: have gotten ahead of it. One of my husband's friends,

852
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 2: who believed it at first but came to realize these

853
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 2: things were lies, told it to us this way. She

854
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,840
Speaker 2: was talking to anyone who would listen about how he

855
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 2: had mistreated her and hit her. We stayed silent. Don't

856
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 2: know why people want to believe a good story, and

857
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 2: our silence allowed them to believe it was true. We

858
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 2: felt we were trying to take the high road by

859
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 2: not airing dirty laundry, but in retrospect, we would have

860
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 2: done things differently. This past Saturday, she showed up at

861
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 2: a concert we were at. As always, I avoided eye contact,

862
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 2: stayed out of her way, and we kept to ourselves.

863
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 2: At one point, I saw a friend across the room

864
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 2: I hadn't seen more than a few times in the

865
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 2: last six or seven years, so I went over to

866
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 2: say hi. I didn't know that the ex and a

867
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 2: friend of hers were standing behind him. The story that,

868
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: as they put it, is that I was all up

869
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 2: on the friend, who whom I had never met and

870
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 2: didn't know to be a friend of hers, or I

871
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 2: would have stayed away. I was standing next to my

872
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:10,280
Speaker 2: friend next to a mash pit, so it's entirely possible

873
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 2: that people were bumping around, but I didn't think about

874
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 2: it because that just happens at shows. The girl pushed me,

875
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 2: I stepped back and turned towards the stage again. She

876
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 2: pushed me harder, and the next thing I knew, she

877
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 2: was holding my arms while the ex dragged me to

878
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 2: the ground. I'm not sure what happened after that, as

879
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 2: they threw my purse and my glasses behind the bar,

880
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 2: but eventually the ex's new fiance helped me off the

881
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,439
Speaker 2: ground and I collected my things and left. The ex

882
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 2: has a fiance.

883
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 3: And he watched all of that and he's still her fiance.

884
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 3: Police arrest her, arrest her. Also, what show is this like?

885
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 3: For a second, I thought this was like a metal show.

886
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 2: But if this happened at a metal show, anyone dragging

887
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 2: a woman to the ground at a metal show, Yeah,

888
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 2: you're gonna end up in the hospital. So you know,

889
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 2: after a very hateful phone call from the friend who

890
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 2: I suppose I have now actually met, it was relayed

891
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 2: to us that the ex and her fiance want to

892
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: meet with my husband and me to talk things out. Nope,

893
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 2: the ex called my husband at work this morning to

894
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 2: try to talk about things, which I feel is completely inappropriate,

895
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 2: and we did file a police report yesterday, but since

896
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 2: it was the day after the incident, we were at a

897
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: club and everyone was drinking despite not being wasted, we

898
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 2: were written off by the police. When her friend called

899
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 2: to tell us that they wanted to meet, we did

900
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 2: tell her that we had filed another report and her

901
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 2: response was, oh, that's going to help. You know, no

902
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 2: one is going to want to be friends with you

903
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 2: if you call the cops every time something happens. Right,

904
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 2: I do not care to be friends with people who

905
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 2: think that way anyway, so that doesn't bother me. But

906
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 2: the police told us that a restraining order would be

907
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 2: hard to grant given the situation.

908
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 3: Oh how.

909
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 2: There's another edit here. I just I'm shocked at the

910
00:42:56,239 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 2: Uh oh you called the cops because I did on you. Well,

911
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 2: you realize being a narc makes you pretty unlikable, right,

912
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 2: No one's.

913
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 3: Gonna want to be friends with you.

914
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty sure physically attacking people makes you pretty

915
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:11,879
Speaker 2: unlikable too.

916
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 3: Yep.

917
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 2: I spoke with my husband at more length about the

918
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 2: phone call he received this morning. Her spin was that

919
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 2: she was sorry things are so afft up, and she's

920
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 2: concerned for me because now I have a problem with

921
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 2: her friend. It worries me that such a hateful, violent

922
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 2: person is now supposedly concerned for my safety. I know

923
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 2: nothing of that woman except her approximate age and name.

924
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even recognize her if I saw her. And

925
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 2: there's an update? Is the restraining order still? And I'm

926
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 2: like thinking, if there's a way you can swindle this

927
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 2: person into like being in a situation where the courts

928
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 2: would have to grant you more serious restraining order.

929
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,320
Speaker 3: Incredibly frustrating that that this keeps not going, Like restraining

930
00:43:55,440 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 3: ordering it through police report didn't get taken serious. You know, what,

931
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 3: what do you have to do to get this woman

932
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 3: away from you?

933
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

934
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 2: I don't know, just like give her like full access

935
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,800
Speaker 2: to like an array of sharp objects or dangerous weapons,

936
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 2: and like, I don't know, just like let her go

937
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 2: crazy on you. Then the cops will be like, well,

938
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 2: we can help you in now. Yeah. Now, see now

939
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 2: that all of the liquid in your body is leaking

940
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 2: out of you, we can't take her to jail crazy.

941
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,439
Speaker 2: First things first, we decided not to meet with her,

942
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: and I'm still wondering why we even entertained the idea

943
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 2: as long as we did. The ex has continued to

944
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 2: bad mouth my husband forty nine mail and myself to

945
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 2: the people in her life, but that's nothing new and

946
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 2: we couldn't care less. It appears she still has people

947
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 2: monitoring our Facebook pages for her, and that didn't bother

948
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:43,720
Speaker 2: me either, because we never post about her or really

949
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 2: anything personal other than updates on our house, cars and

950
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 2: events we're looking forward to. However, it all came to

951
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 2: a head this weekend. My husband occasionally shares those stupid

952
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 2: inspirational text meme things on Facebook, and he shared one

953
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 2: that said something along the lines of, if you want

954
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 2: to know something about my life, the best person to

955
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 2: ask is me. Apparently the ex got wind of this

956
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 2: post that was only on his page for five hours

957
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,720
Speaker 2: and determined it was about her, some sort of direct attack.

958
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 5: Oh no, no, of course she assumes it's about her,

959
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 5: because she's out here talking crap about his liar to

960
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 5: everyone who will listen to her.

961
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:23,240
Speaker 3: She's a freaking liar.

962
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 2: A mutual friend of ours us and the ex sent

963
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 2: my husband a screenshot of her page which said something

964
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 2: along the lines of if you want to ask him

965
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 2: about his life, why don't you ask him about how

966
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 2: he likes to hurt women. I've never had a man

967
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 2: or couple so obsessed with me. I wish they would

968
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 2: leave me the heck alone. Let me reiterate, we avoid

969
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 2: her at all costs. We don't talk to people she's

970
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 2: within public, even if there are friends. We don't talk

971
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 2: about her to our friends. We don't ask anyone to

972
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 2: pick sides because most of the people in our lives

973
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 2: don't know about most of what was written in that

974
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:57,919
Speaker 2: last post, which is your fault. Tell them, for God's say,

975
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 2: stand up for you. What if this was like felony allegations.

976
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 2: What if this was like yeah, and they dumped the

977
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 2: bodies in the marsh, would you still be like, well,

978
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 2: we just don't want to make people pig saws.

979
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 3: With the friend. I don't know, like if I were

980
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 3: one of a piece friends, I would want to know

981
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 3: that this was happening. I would want to know that

982
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 3: like a person. If I was friends with the other

983
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 3: girl as well, I would want to know that she's

984
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:21,720
Speaker 3: like crazy.

985
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 2: And you know what, I blame this one though. I

986
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 2: can't even blame this because they're fifty. I was gonna

987
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 2: blame this on the school system, being like and if

988
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: you're getting bullied, you're both in trouble, because I do

989
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 2: think that, like so much passive behavior in relationships now

990
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 2: today is because of like certain things like that where

991
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 2: it's like, dude, I think if you're getting bullied and

992
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 2: you like defend yourself, I don't think that you should

993
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 2: get in the same amount of trouble as the person

994
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 2: bullying you at all, which is absurd, but it's that

995
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. That teaches people that they should just

996
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,439
Speaker 2: let it go. I would just don't get involved, don't

997
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 2: be passive, don't be active, and it's like, yeah, this

998
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 2: sounds stuff gets snowballs and gets out of control. Her

999
00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: post was the straw that broke the camel's back. I

1000
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 2: couldn't handle reading such awful things being said about my

1001
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 2: husband for nearly two years now when none of it

1002
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 2: is true. I copied everything I outlined in my previous

1003
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 2: post here and modified it to be more appropriate to

1004
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 2: people who knew her. I didn't call her by name

1005
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 2: and stated that I would be removing any comments disparaging

1006
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 2: to the x as I was not looking for gossip

1007
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 2: and pitchforks, but to finally state our side since the

1008
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 2: issue just hasn't gone away.

1009
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:27,399
Speaker 1: Well.

1010
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 2: Someone sent her a screenshot of my post and everyone

1011
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 2: who liked and commented on it, and she went totally postal.

1012
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 2: She started messaging everyone who interacted with my post to

1013
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 2: find out why they liked it or why they said

1014
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 2: they supported us when it was obviously all lies. She

1015
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 2: deleted everyone from her Facebook who would not tell her

1016
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 2: that they would stop speaking to us, which is fine

1017
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 2: by me, and I'm assuming those people are all right

1018
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 2: with it too, as were adults, and no one should

1019
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:57,839
Speaker 2: be made to pick sides. That is not true. Sometimes

1020
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 2: there are sides to be chosen. I think people didn't

1021
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 2: pick sides in the Second World War. Very clearly, there

1022
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 2: are sides, There are times to pick sides. Her main

1023
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 2: claims are that she was the one who tried to

1024
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,760
Speaker 2: work things out and meet with us, and it's because

1025
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 2: of us not speaking to her that this continues to

1026
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 2: go on, and of course that we're the ones lying

1027
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 2: about everything. We've skipped most of the events we were

1028
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 2: looking forward to attending these last couple of months, and

1029
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 2: we'll skip a few more. But we also bought pepper

1030
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 2: spray to keep on me in public because she's just

1031
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 2: not stable. The police were no help, but we're better

1032
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 2: directed now on what to do if anything happens in

1033
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:36,880
Speaker 2: the future. Hopefully there's no more updates, and there's an

1034
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 2: edit twenty five female forgot I had a birthday, and

1035
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 2: there is a second update. Ooh, and it looks like

1036
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:46,359
Speaker 2: OHP is probably a lot younger than you thought.

1037
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 3: There were fifty Huh do you think they're a.

1038
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 2: Fifty husband's fifty husband's forty nine? Okay, so there's an

1039
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 2: age gap, which might again be driving how upset the

1040
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 2: exes because it's like new hotness. Sure, you know, quote

1041
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,919
Speaker 2: unquote the police directed us what to do in the future. Yeah,

1042
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 2: when she like stabs you call us.

1043
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, we can't really do anything until which is a

1044
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 3: thing they can't do. They don't, well they can, but

1045
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 3: they don't do anything unless you've been like literally stabbed,

1046
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 3: Like they don't do anything about stocking situations. Just infuriating.

1047
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then they show up and they're like, Yay,

1048
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 2: we're so excited for you. You can finally get that restraining order.

1049
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 2: Let's get in the ambulance. We'll take you to the

1050
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 2: hospital and get all those stab wounds stitched up, and

1051
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 2: you're about to be five grand that's after insurance. Yeah, okay.

1052
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 2: Update number two here. My husband and I took a

1053
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:38,279
Speaker 2: delayed honeymoon after our wedding, and as our train was

1054
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 2: pulling out of the station, I got a call from

1055
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 2: the police department. Turns out they had been in contact

1056
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 2: with the X and the situation was moving forward. After

1057
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 2: two months of not hearing anything from anyone in the

1058
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 2: courts system, we kind of thought since the police were

1059
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 2: no help that nothing happened or would happen, but we

1060
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 2: were wrong the way where they were building a case.

1061
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 2: The woman I spoke with told me that she'd been

1062
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 2: given the opportunity to enter her plea and if she

1063
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 2: pled not guilty to abuse, we would be going to court.

1064
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 2: After that phone call, I've had zero communication from either

1065
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,360
Speaker 2: the police or the courts. We looked online that in

1066
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 2: June she'd entered a not guilty please, so for all

1067
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 2: we knew, we were going to court and we're awaiting

1068
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 2: that phone call. In the interim, I started seeing a

1069
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 2: counselor because I was having nightmares about her and about

1070
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 2: court and about everything, and I was finding myself heavily

1071
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 2: obsessing about the situation, trying to figure out why she

1072
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 2: was acting the way she was. The counselor has been

1073
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 2: very helpful in getting me to understand that you just

1074
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 2: can't really figure out how and why crazy happens. It

1075
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,239
Speaker 2: just does comforting to know he didn't feel like I'd

1076
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 2: blown things out of proportion. Last night, we looked online

1077
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 2: again for an update to the court case, and as

1078
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 2: it turns out, she changed her plea from not guilty

1079
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 2: to no contest and the case is now closed. I'm

1080
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 2: still a little surprised we didn't hear back from the

1081
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:53,239
Speaker 2: police or courts, but I don't care either way. She's

1082
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 2: on probation until November and had to pay a fine

1083
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 2: to the city, So no lawyer refees from me, no

1084
00:50:58,200 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 2: court and no having to see her talk to this woman.

1085
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 2: And again, thank goodness, I feel like a million tons

1086
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 2: have been lifted from my shoulders. And uh, by the way,

1087
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 2: you can listen to like a million stories when you

1088
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,280
Speaker 2: listen to full episodes with stories just like this on Spotify,

1089
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, wherever you listen to podcasts, just search

1090
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 2: Okay story time and you can find the whole archive.

1091
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 2: It's like sixty days where the stories stories. So your

1092
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 2: ears are going to have a parade field day. They're

1093
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 2: gonna be so happy. There's a little bit of story

1094
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 2: left here. But you know, Sophia, do you have any

1095
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 2: closing remarks here?

1096
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 3: I mean, like, thank god, they're finally you're finally getting

1097
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 3: some sort of you know, ending resolution to this, because wow,

1098
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 3: you have to go through a lot, and so did

1099
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 3: your partner before anyone like started freaking taking it's serious

1100
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:47,320
Speaker 3: and can.

1101
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 2: We please like not ever think that someone actively stalking

1102
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 2: us in the committing acts of violence against us and

1103
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 2: us being like, hey, that's not cool. You're not overreacting. No,

1104
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 2: if anything, you'll on and over underreacting.

1105
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 3: You guys underacted big time. Like like, you can tell

1106
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 3: your friends, the friends because for a reason, and if

1107
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 3: they side with her after finding out that you know

1108
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 3: she did all that stuff, then not your friends.

1109
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 2: Life has been great for us lately, started a new

1110
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 2: car club. I've grown closer with a lot of people

1111
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,320
Speaker 2: who were more casual friends before, and are currently checking

1112
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 2: items off of our list of dreams we didn't think

1113
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 2: we were going to happen. It's amazing what a real

1114
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 2: wake up call can do for your motivation for your future.

1115
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

1116
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:39,360
Speaker 3: Here we go, Okay, well, I'm glad that there was

1117
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 3: a resolution and you're seeing some you know change and

1118
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 3: uh and some consequence is happening to this woman because

1119
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 3: you didn't deserve any of that.

1120
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:52,439
Speaker 2: That's frustrating, that is for sure. But that's the end of.

1121
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,839
Speaker 3: That story, and the end of this episode, is it. Yep?

1122
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,879
Speaker 2: So if you love us, make sure you subscribe.

1123
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.