Speaker 1: I leave in I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and give us time and a termino and
Speaker 1: gage aid. We want to send you off in style.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about
Speaker 1: every scared he was?
Speaker 2: It fine?
Speaker 1: Now porn.
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do your need to ride?
Speaker 2: Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need
Speaker 2: to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks and this.
Speaker 1: Is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 2: Hello Karen, Hello Chris.
Speaker 4: Listener, you need to know the reason the vibe is
Speaker 4: off on this episode from beginning, Yeah, or on maybe
Speaker 4: maybe the ViBe's on. Chris Fairbanks has shorn his mustache
Speaker 4: of maybe three years, five years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I it does my upper lip look thin
Speaker 2: and strange like a fish.
Speaker 1: It looks lonely and like it's in the snow.
Speaker 5: Yeah. The mustache did kind of bring a friendship between
Speaker 5: my chin and eyes that it feels like I just
Speaker 5: look like a divorced dad. Now, yeah, yeah, it'll get
Speaker 5: I have to I had to do it.
Speaker 2: It's just every once in a while. I uh, you
Speaker 2: gotta start over again, that's.
Speaker 1: Right, start fresh. Also, you did it for Halloween, right
Speaker 1: for ye Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I can't be a mustache elvis on a toilet.
Speaker 5: Also in real life, the mustaches are gross if you
Speaker 5: really think about it. The trace amounts of food, there's
Speaker 5: probably bacteria. One time in college, there's this guy that
Speaker 5: I was friends with, even though he had dreadlocks, a
Speaker 5: white guy with dreadlocks, and he put egg whites and
Speaker 5: things in them. Bucks fell out of his dreadlocks and
Speaker 5: into his food and he got a stomach virus. Now,
Speaker 5: why could that not happen on a smaller scale with
Speaker 5: a mustache.
Speaker 1: It absolutely happens every day.
Speaker 4: But I think that your immune system and any man
Speaker 4: with a mustache or woman, you're eating it just enough
Speaker 4: bacteria that you're becoming stronger and stronger.
Speaker 1: No one can kill you.
Speaker 2: I yeah, I believe in that wholeheartedly.
Speaker 3: I had.
Speaker 5: I had perfect attendance in elementary school, and I do
Speaker 5: believe it's because I played in a sandbox that was
Speaker 5: riddled with cat poop and I never got sick once.
Speaker 1: All these brags, what you're just adding in brags?
Speaker 5: But yeah, but they're disgusting. So is it really a
Speaker 5: brag if it makes me gross?
Speaker 3: I don't know. Man, cool friend with dreadlocks. I'm just
Speaker 3: throwing that in there.
Speaker 1: We need to introduce our guests. I tell him we.
Speaker 3: Didn't Sorry, was I not supposed to talk? No?
Speaker 2: No, we we do the We did a bad job
Speaker 2: of prepping you.
Speaker 3: That is on us.
Speaker 5: Do it you. You are hearing the voice now of
Speaker 5: our our very good friend. He does clubs and colleges
Speaker 5: across the country. He's a hilarious comedian. Put your ears
Speaker 5: together for Matt Bronker.
Speaker 3: Everybody, thank you, thank you, Chris. Hi.
Speaker 1: Now we understand what's happening.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, now we get it.
Speaker 5: That's that's we usually were, Like Matt, before we get started,
Speaker 5: Karen and I usually talk two to three minutes time.
Speaker 5: That's a little shite. No, that's a speech we're supposed
Speaker 5: to give you.
Speaker 2: I just assume you.
Speaker 3: I gotcha, I got you. Don't don't don't. Don't feel bad, guys,
Speaker 3: It's okay.
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 4: I feel terrible also because I think I was thinking
Speaker 4: about the last time you were in the car with us,
Speaker 4: and in my mind that was recently, and no, joke.
Speaker 1: It was probably eight years ago, so.
Speaker 3: So long ago.
Speaker 1: It was so long ago, yes, because I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: he remembers.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then also the car setup is completely different than
Speaker 4: the zoom set up. Nothing about that track.
Speaker 3: And I feel like, after all we've been through, it
Speaker 3: feels twice as long as it actually was. Where it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, I feel like Karen, you and I are
Speaker 3: like just these on like a ghastly level of elderly
Speaker 3: for some reason in a movie and we're in at
Speaker 3: a rondeck chairs and we're sitting there and we have
Speaker 3: our our dram mount ra medically allowed of alcohol or
Speaker 3: marijuana or whatever, just sitting there and and there's a
Speaker 3: nurse that's watching us. And one of us looks, the
Speaker 3: other one goes and just goes remember us then, and
Speaker 3: we and we laugh like our skeletal bodies or shit,
Speaker 3: And no one knows why we're laughing. That's out. After
Speaker 3: all we've been through. It just feels like And Chris,
Speaker 3: you're the same, You're it's the three of us. It's
Speaker 3: like Cocoon before you, before you found the people a
Speaker 3: cocoon were like in their forties or whatever. They were
Speaker 3: so depressing.
Speaker 5: I'm in the background, swimming in the pool getting that sweet,
Speaker 5: sweet alien energy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like the Danimici. You're like the incredibly fit
Speaker 3: old guy. You're like the guy it's who's Who's you know,
Speaker 3: just annoyingly ripped. You know, you're the Curt.
Speaker 2: Danamiti.
Speaker 5: He did have the best breakdance moves in that hilarious
Speaker 5: scene where they just start break dancing. That is that
Speaker 5: is a no, you're right when you first find out
Speaker 5: Wilford Brimley was just fifty two in that and then.
Speaker 2: They show you a picture, Yeah, he was just fifty two.
Speaker 5: And then they show a picture of Tom Cruise at
Speaker 5: fifty two hanging out of an airplane.
Speaker 2: It's just two different styles of humans.
Speaker 3: I was reading because remembering when I read Something Wicked
Speaker 3: This Way comes the Red Red Bradbury novel about the
Speaker 3: you know, traveling Devil circus and the father's guilt that
Speaker 3: the that the evil forces play on is that he
Speaker 3: had a son at forty Like, it's just what if
Speaker 3: I don't like, he can't chase him and ship because
Speaker 3: the kid's like twelve now, and you know, so he's
Speaker 3: about to die. You know. He's written in like the
Speaker 3: sixties or something, and like, I'm just howling remembering that
Speaker 3: because I had my kid at forty six, Like ooks,
Speaker 3: Oh well, yeah, I'm utterly.
Speaker 1: Screwed when that devil Carnival comes. Oh you not be
Speaker 1: able to handle.
Speaker 3: Oh the guilt that they'll they'll get out of me,
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 4: Your papery skinned arm reaching toward How is child Matt.
Speaker 3: She's great. She's very very very strong and powerful.
Speaker 2: Uh physically.
Speaker 3: She was playing with uh John Roy's son, Griffin, and
Speaker 3: she she tackled him. She tackled him like if, Like if.
Speaker 3: Ronnie Lott was like like was in love with you
Speaker 3: and and we were barbecuing, and Rose just like grabs
Speaker 3: him and does the whole the textbook hold and use
Speaker 3: your body weight to just make them fall back and
Speaker 3: just just didn't mean to be just bop and Griffin's crying,
Speaker 3: and like even now anytime I bring her out there,
Speaker 3: she's like if and if and I sawry like she
Speaker 3: says it to like no one, and it's the sweetest thing.
Speaker 1: But it's just like, honey, she didn't realize, Yeah, didn't know,
Speaker 1: she didn't know she was.
Speaker 2: Trying to hug him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then she fully un lenned him from my men.
Speaker 4: Also, she's so little that she actually had never experienced
Speaker 4: falling backwards and getting hurt by it.
Speaker 1: Like she was like, this will be fun. It's like
Speaker 1: being in bed. It's like that's how young.
Speaker 3: She Oh, yeah, I didn't feel anything, but yeah, because
Speaker 3: Griffin absorbed all of the weight and laying on his
Speaker 3: back on the pavement.
Speaker 2: Well, have you done this thing that all all dads
Speaker 2: have to do at some point with their toddler.
Speaker 5: It's the trust fall where you stand behind them and
Speaker 5: then at the last minute you run away.
Speaker 2: And is that just my childhood?
Speaker 3: You scream that's life and just loud.
Speaker 2: And you're gonna get words. Wait till you have to
Speaker 2: pay taxes.
Speaker 3: You scream that's life and you loudly open a beer.
Speaker 3: So that just goes with their their trauma and their memories.
Speaker 4: It's making me think about when I was little and
Speaker 4: we would do stuff and get hurt and my dad's
Speaker 4: response was like it was it was basically you'd get
Speaker 4: yelled at for getting hurt.
Speaker 1: Where it's just like what the hell are you doing?
Speaker 4: See I told you he slowed out and it's like no,
Speaker 4: I'm crying and like there's a big gash on my arm.
Speaker 1: But like it's basically like, learn your lesson.
Speaker 4: It's so nice that parenting has evolved in the in
Speaker 4: the last fifty years, so it's not so fucking intense
Speaker 4: for children.
Speaker 3: I will say. They always say you can't react with
Speaker 3: how you really feel, which is oh my god, oh
Speaker 3: my god, you know, don't. Then they're just like, holy shit,
Speaker 3: it's worse than I thought.
Speaker 4: You have to.
Speaker 2: Then they cry you have to be like, well, whoa
Speaker 2: that happened?
Speaker 3: Hey, you know, pick them up and kind of move around.
Speaker 1: So kind of you know, but i's your weird hack.
Speaker 3: I certainly wouldn't be like, oh, what the fuck road.
Speaker 4: You wouldn't go with the Jim kill Garff style, Okay,
Speaker 4: I mean it's your choice, it's.
Speaker 3: A modified version. I do appreciate his style, his tough
Speaker 3: love style.
Speaker 5: I don't know that I because nowadays when I see
Speaker 5: parents like talk to their kids like they're already adults
Speaker 5: and everything has to be a discussion and their opinions
Speaker 5: have to be considered with adult divisions, I'm like, just like,
Speaker 5: I shouldn't have an opinion because I have no child.
Speaker 5: But I'm getting eddy too. If in one knocks on
Speaker 5: the door. Sure, yeah, just sometimes you have to be
Speaker 5: that because I'm the dad. Yeah yeah, when a kid
Speaker 5: is hurt, yeah, I would always care about that.
Speaker 3: I'm just impressed by their resilience. Like every kid. I
Speaker 3: see it this banket's face off the edge of a
Speaker 3: door frame and then be like and like what it's
Speaker 3: just they're made of nerve. It's only until someone really
Speaker 3: you know, caru Okare wasn't home and I was bringing roads.
Speaker 3: She's running down the hall and she just full on
Speaker 3: went in like face just gong to the point where
Speaker 3: you hear the door like the wall shape face and
Speaker 3: get them and it was like a like crying. But
Speaker 3: then I got her in the apartment and then she
Speaker 3: just like oh she's fine, and then running around but
Speaker 3: the craziest shiner.
Speaker 1: O, craziest, no dangerous.
Speaker 3: I'm worried for me. Like people will think I full
Speaker 3: on belt at this two year old.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's ring her into the grocery store and get
Speaker 2: some weird looks. And the old.
Speaker 1: Excuse of I ran into a door.
Speaker 2: She really did, she did?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I took her to daycare and like
Speaker 3: her daycare is the funniest daycare. All the women wear
Speaker 3: these like neon nurse scrubs and they play like they
Speaker 3: speak Spanish to them and stuff. It's it's great, but
Speaker 3: they were they they are so honest. They're just like
Speaker 3: we were so glad that didn't happen with us. And
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, thank you for saying that, because
Speaker 3: you know, you pick your kid up and it's just like, well,
Speaker 3: I don't know, I guess right, we hit her with
Speaker 3: a car by mistake. So so.
Speaker 5: Do you have to like baby proof your place when
Speaker 5: she is first learning to walk? Did you have to
Speaker 5: cover corners with pads and stuff?
Speaker 3: We did that with the fireplace and like plug plugged
Speaker 3: up all the the sockets, but like a lot of it,
Speaker 3: and like you you know those those cinches those kidnapping
Speaker 3: and all the all the cupboards, all the colors, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: you don't actually use those because then you have to
Speaker 3: clip them every time. Oh I forgot the fuck yeah,
Speaker 3: just washing liquid every time. But uh yeah, it's just
Speaker 3: it's just other than that that, like we read read
Speaker 3: up on it, but it's like I wasn't going to
Speaker 3: live in a foam house, right. A lot of it
Speaker 3: is just kind of I'm always here when she's here,
Speaker 3: so it's just corrective. No, no, no, we don't do that.
Speaker 3: We don't do that.
Speaker 5: I do like your method of just immediately picking her
Speaker 5: up and moving her around like everything is an experience.
Speaker 5: Now you're moving in the air in my arms are distracted, Okay,
Speaker 5: run along.
Speaker 4: I can still remember babysitting my niece who is now fifteen,
Speaker 4: when she was like two or three years old and
Speaker 4: like accidentally slamming her fingers in her We had this
Speaker 4: old fucking dresser that was my like grandpa's dresser that
Speaker 4: then my sister hadn't she It was just for the
Speaker 4: other adults to put her little baby, you know, onesies
Speaker 4: and socks or whatever into. And she was standing there
Speaker 4: and I was like trying to get it shut and
Speaker 4: then finally got it, you know, into its groove and
Speaker 4: this fucking boom, and she had been holding onto it.
Speaker 4: And it happened twelve years ago, and it gets to
Speaker 4: I get a stomach ache, like once a month. I
Speaker 4: remind myself of it, and then I can feel it
Speaker 4: in my body where I was just like, thank God,
Speaker 4: I'm not a parent.
Speaker 1: Because you do it all day long. It's horrifying.
Speaker 3: My mom and I still think it's the funniest thing.
Speaker 3: But I think when I was four or five, my
Speaker 3: dad slammed my head in the trunk of the Pinto
Speaker 3: station wagon we had. And my dad is six foot six,
Speaker 3: he's taller than I is. He's shrunk in a little bit,
Speaker 3: so we we're about the same now. But you know,
Speaker 3: this was in his prime. This is like early eighties.
Speaker 3: You know, you'd probably about forty or something, still a strong,
Speaker 3: you know, tall man. And he says we were ready
Speaker 3: to go for a trip and he'd put all the
Speaker 3: bags away, and I'd wandered in and got my big
Speaker 3: a hass head in there, and he's like, he's like,
Speaker 3: all right, you know, said something, you know whatever, Santa
Speaker 3: Barber here we come, just rug like my and it
Speaker 3: was like he's like oh, He's like, oh, oh my god.
Speaker 3: And like I would bring it up and we'd laugh
Speaker 3: and laugh, and my dad it took probably twenty years
Speaker 3: after I was already you know, twenty or whatever for
Speaker 3: him to be like, oh that was that was a
Speaker 3: scary day. He just wouldn't even crack a smile because
Speaker 3: it's just the.
Speaker 4: Trauma of yeah, truly like you've just abused, accidentally accused
Speaker 4: a child, and the pain it's not something small.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I slammed her fingers.
Speaker 2: Into a drawer.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's horrifying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sickness, it's any any extremity face, head, fingers toes
Speaker 3: like ouch.
Speaker 4: My sister did the classic one of with Adrian's baby
Speaker 4: at the time. He's now twenty seven. She was whole
Speaker 4: him and then just turned like this to say something
Speaker 4: and just smacked his head into the wall, like she
Speaker 4: just like whipped around.
Speaker 3: To do something.
Speaker 1: And she's like, I think about it all the time,
Speaker 1: because I admit went to her and was like, I
Speaker 1: slammed Nora's fingers on the door.
Speaker 4: And she immediately told me that story. She's like, I
Speaker 4: literally could have given Johnny brain damage. Like we know
Speaker 4: now he has a great job and everything's fine, but
Speaker 4: it was a scary, Like, but kids are Have you
Speaker 4: ever seen the X ray of like a baby's face
Speaker 4: where their teeth go all the way up toward their nose,
Speaker 4: so they just basically it looks like they're wearing a
Speaker 4: little mask of calcium underneath their skin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna avoid but I have heard that I
Speaker 2: guess I visualized.
Speaker 1: It protects them like they are more they're very strong.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean when Rose was being born, there were
Speaker 3: complications and we had this doctor that was like, she's
Speaker 3: so locked in. She's just like she's like, all right, well,
Speaker 3: you know, like I got to get her out there,
Speaker 3: and you know did they got gathered around uh, and
Speaker 3: so they got her out all that jazz. But I'll
Speaker 3: never forget like the moment before that, and it's like
Speaker 3: that moment where you're just like, is she okay? Why
Speaker 3: are there so many people in this room? And we had,
Speaker 3: you know, you bring a birth mix, so we just
Speaker 3: had like nineties R and B and all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 3: And the doctor, the obgu I n who we were
Speaker 3: working with, she was like the one uh for some reason,
Speaker 3: like it was her and two young interns. She's around
Speaker 3: my age and my wife's age, and she's like, she's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: we gotta get to check. We gotta make sure this
Speaker 3: heart read partpet is strong. Okay, in the next couple
Speaker 3: of seconds are gonna be very important. It's fine, keep breathing,
Speaker 3: keep breathing, keep pushing, keep pushing. Is this SWV what?
Speaker 3: And then her two interns are like, I don't know
Speaker 3: who that is, and she's like, you are you fucking kidding?
Speaker 3: You know, all right? It was just this thing of it.
Speaker 3: May it Actually it relaxed me in the moment where
Speaker 3: I'm just like, this person is so across it. This
Speaker 3: person is literally everything that could or will happen, and
Speaker 3: it's just like, let me take excuse me. You know
Speaker 3: I heard this is a this is a sweet jam.
Speaker 5: If she remembers s s WV that means she paid
Speaker 5: attention in medical school and she yes, right, she can't
Speaker 5: remember that she does?
Speaker 4: She does, she does, but also you're you're so right?
Speaker 4: Where the thing that's so scary, of course to you
Speaker 4: guys as first time parents, like this is their job
Speaker 4: every day they do eight of these and go home
Speaker 4: for dinner. This is standard fair and problems are standard
Speaker 4: fair and there it's it's all handleable.
Speaker 2: I love.
Speaker 4: It almost makes me go like did she do that
Speaker 4: on purpose? To be to basically bring the to be like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is a maybe not actually the emergency you think
Speaker 4: it is.
Speaker 1: By the way, hey, and if that's.
Speaker 3: True, great right now one of my favorite things. We're
Speaker 3: in that room for so long and it was a nice,
Speaker 3: big one, and this was during twenty twenty, so we
Speaker 3: had to wear masks the whole time. But there was
Speaker 3: a sign on the wall that was huge that spelled
Speaker 3: out everything like, if you've brought a doula, here is
Speaker 3: what they are not allowed to do under any circumstance
Speaker 3: of me. It just warmed my non new age medicine.
Speaker 4: Heart well and as powerful as like the conviction of
Speaker 4: a like a specific type of new age person is right.
Speaker 4: I do apologize because I was raised by registered nurse.
Speaker 4: You do not fuck with nurses, and like that's the
Speaker 4: doctors whatever. You know that a nurse printed that sign
Speaker 4: and put it up because nurses are the ones that
Speaker 4: are actually doing stuff deal until the moment.
Speaker 1: And they're the one.
Speaker 4: It's like the importance of not introducing doubt into a
Speaker 4: process that is already so scary. Not that that's what
Speaker 4: I have no idea what doulas do in any meaningful way,
Speaker 4: but just that it's about being a team player.
Speaker 1: So it's like, well, then I guess you need to
Speaker 1: know the rules.
Speaker 3: And that you know follow along and you know, to
Speaker 3: be fair, I'm sure ninety percent of duelas are just
Speaker 3: like listen. I'm just here. You know, if you need me,
Speaker 3: I will talk you through. The doctor is the is
Speaker 3: the boss?
Speaker 4: Well, yes, because it's needed though, thinking about how gross
Speaker 4: the medical system can be where you come in, like
Speaker 4: there's a doctor that's like, well whatever, you know that
Speaker 4: kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Where then just to argue the.
Speaker 4: Other side of how important it would be to have
Speaker 4: like a Grandma's style person woman has done it a
Speaker 4: bunch of times and is like, I know the tricks
Speaker 4: to get you to the point where then that doctor
Speaker 4: comes in and you deliver this baby. Yeah, there's a
Speaker 4: bunch of other shit that happens before that that's super scary,
Speaker 4: super important, And you know, having a lady there that
Speaker 4: looks like your mom's friend is probably incredibly comforting, you know,
Speaker 4: if they do it right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And like I appreciate the nurses were incredible and
Speaker 3: they're their human skills were amazing. Like at one point,
Speaker 3: I mean, my brain was broken. I didn't know what
Speaker 3: was down, what was up. Well before she even started
Speaker 3: giving birth or went into labor. I went and got
Speaker 3: us coffee, and I left Cedar Sinai and and got
Speaker 3: back in the building somehow got back in the hallway
Speaker 3: and went right into the wrong room, confident, and there
Speaker 3: was a couple that had had the baby like an
Speaker 3: hour ago, and she's breastfeeding, no shirt husband there and
Speaker 3: I had two coffees. Hey go oh, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 3: and I just turned and like and they just fell
Speaker 3: out laughing. And I went to the hallway and a
Speaker 3: nerves this mail nurse is just staring at me, shaking
Speaker 3: his head and I'm like, I'm sorry, Please don't throw
Speaker 3: me out. We're gonna have a kid. And he's like,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna throw you out, man, Just go to
Speaker 3: that room and like and you know, we both had
Speaker 3: a laugh. But it's like I walked in on a
Speaker 3: half naked woman, like that's.
Speaker 2: Holding scalding hot coffee baby, and.
Speaker 1: Then start slowly fining for me.
Speaker 2: Will Yeah, early drama, will.
Speaker 1: Err Lewis trauma.
Speaker 2: Scalding day.
Speaker 3: I just feel like the funniest Jerry Lewis to me
Speaker 3: is Martin SHORTZ, Jerry Lewis.
Speaker 2: You sent me Matt when you sent me that video
Speaker 2: of him.
Speaker 3: Themes from an Idiot's Marriage is the funniest, like five
Speaker 3: minutes of any TV, Like.
Speaker 2: The Tender Fella thing where he sticks the gas pump in.
Speaker 3: His sprayings into his mouth.
Speaker 2: I still show that.
Speaker 5: I show that ever since you sent me that out
Speaker 5: of nowhere. I still show that to someone monthly.
Speaker 3: Him coming out. If you don't know, Karen, it's it's,
Speaker 3: uh Jerry Lewis in uh what was like a tender
Speaker 3: Fellow Mercies and it's Robert Duvall, Robert Duvall Tender Mercies,
Speaker 3: but if it was Jerry Lewis and the Robert Vall role,
Speaker 3: and he he comes out of the shotgun shock, he
Speaker 3: drank away all his money and he's been a slate
Speaker 3: for three days, and thees like how are you feeling?
Speaker 3: Is like, like, I don't feel good so much, and
Speaker 3: it's doing he does. He does. It's it's angry put
Speaker 3: upon Jerry Lewis, and then he just goes full on wild.
Speaker 2: Physically bad ship hilarious.
Speaker 3: It's so goddamn good.
Speaker 1: Love that man, Yeah, love that man.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's from an old Showtime comedy special.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what it was. It was time. Yeah. So
Speaker 3: if he walked in on the on the topless woman,
Speaker 3: I think he would just yell, you know, like you know,
Speaker 3: boobies or breast and he would just he throw both
Speaker 3: cups in his face, in his face and just like.
Speaker 2: Burn for each boob. Yeah, oh that's that's terrific.
Speaker 3: How old's Rose, she's too, she's two years two months.
Speaker 5: When you were in the hospital and eight o'clock rolled around,
Speaker 5: even though you were standing right near nurses, could you
Speaker 5: still bang pots and pants together in.
Speaker 2: Within I'm three feet away back to.
Speaker 3: Jerry Lewis, I know. I I just maintained a respectful
Speaker 3: distance and whatever they told me to do, I did.
Speaker 3: That was it. That was it. Yeah, solid takes and
Speaker 3: it was like nobody, you know, nothing's around that hospital
Speaker 3: besides you know, a couple of retail stores and stuff
Speaker 3: in office buildings, so there were people would gather on
Speaker 3: the door, like when they'd change shifts. Everybody would stop
Speaker 3: what they're doing and the round of applot cool, you know,
Speaker 3: so that that was very cool. That was very cool
Speaker 3: at the entrance. Yeah, yeah, that was nice. That was nice.
Speaker 3: That's over now, Yeah, no more applause for them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, insane.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: My neighborhood really a coup park, really partied at eight
Speaker 5: and it lasted about fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Where I lived, no one did anything. It was silent.
Speaker 4: It was just you could hear pin drop. Was just like,
Speaker 4: was if Hollywood is doing it, why aren't we doing
Speaker 4: it in the valley?
Speaker 1: So that's so crazy.
Speaker 2: But because there was nowhere to park, That's that's what
Speaker 2: it was. Everyone what it was. Yeah, they were in
Speaker 2: their house.
Speaker 4: It was almost like it was a way to celebrate
Speaker 4: the medical people, the frontline people, but it was also
Speaker 4: a way to get out like the like I think
Speaker 4: I might be going insane feeling, yeah, you know, And
Speaker 4: they were just like like that it's a good release.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're suddenly interacting in agreeance with hundreds of people
Speaker 5: from a distance.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But but it was that's what was really.
Speaker 1: It feels good.
Speaker 3: I was in during twenty twenty, we were going to
Speaker 3: go up to drive up to Portland to see my
Speaker 3: folks to bring the baby up, and then Oregon caught fire,
Speaker 3: do you remember, Yeah, and then California caught fire because
Speaker 3: it was jealous, and then we were like, this is
Speaker 3: a baby developing lungs, why don't we drive to Boston.
Speaker 3: And we drove thirty three hundred miles with a six
Speaker 3: week old in an electric car with California play during
Speaker 3: an election year. Highly recommend and we got to her
Speaker 3: little town outside of Boston, and we lived there as
Speaker 3: counties for about a month, month and a half, and
Speaker 3: then we drove back and we drove back through the
Speaker 3: South to stay warm, like the days ticking down, you know,
Speaker 3: to the day. And we were in a hotel in
Speaker 3: New Orleans when they called it for Biden and oh wow,
Speaker 3: play you know, like it's a blue dot in the
Speaker 3: reddest state there is. And it was everybody, everybody walking
Speaker 3: down the street was either partying their dick and butt
Speaker 3: off or had this blank stone face. There was no
Speaker 3: you know, because this was before it was like it
Speaker 3: was stolen, before that whole thing was introduced. It was
Speaker 3: just either I'm in the biggest heaven of my life
Speaker 3: or I am in the deepest shock of my life.
Speaker 3: And I remember that, but I wish I was both.
Speaker 3: Kind of wished we were in LA weeks later because
Speaker 3: the stuff that jumped off, like DEMI who shot that
Speaker 3: thing at that gas station where they're all standing on
Speaker 3: top of cars. That gas station is like a stone's
Speaker 3: throw from our house, right And I asked him about that,
Speaker 3: and he was like he hadn't heard the news. But
Speaker 3: he goes out he goes up in the balcony of
Speaker 3: his apartment and a man just walks into like the
Speaker 3: driveway area, who's just walking around, just blaring a bagpipe,
Speaker 3: and DEMI grabs whatever he had because he plays like
Speaker 3: nine instruments like a flute and starts jamming, and like
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, because I saw. I definitely saw
Speaker 3: some of that.
Speaker 2: You know, people were so happy that they reformed rusted route.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's the only way to express it.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: My street was dancing and kissing in the street and
Speaker 5: the bus couldn't get through, but the bus driver didn't care.
Speaker 2: They were like cheering.
Speaker 5: I I just I have a pretty good video on
Speaker 5: my Instagram of everyone dancing too. I want to dance
Speaker 5: with somebody, Yeah, and they're just it was like everyone's crying.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 2: It was about a lot more than just Biden winning.
Speaker 2: It was liked it was pure relief. Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean we had we had champagne with lunch and
Speaker 3: then walked our baby through the quarter and got dackerse
Speaker 3: and like we're like, let's just go to the hotel
Speaker 3: and then grab like some dinner somewhere I don't care where.
Speaker 3: It was more we felt more you know, we had
Speaker 3: this kid to keep alive, so we couldn't go nuts.
Speaker 3: But it was like we also we also just were
Speaker 3: just like I just felt a deep, bone deep exhaustion
Speaker 3: from the last four years. And I remember because the
Speaker 3: night before we were in Oh god, it's it's in
Speaker 3: the Ozarks and it's like the one it's like Steve
Speaker 3: Martin lives there, and damn it, what's it called? Just
Speaker 3: really really Banjo Town, Beverly Hill. It's in the it's
Speaker 3: in the it's in the southeast, and like it was
Speaker 3: the night of the election, and there were people that
Speaker 3: were it was like, oh, we don't know which way
Speaker 3: it's going to go. It's gone in here and there.
Speaker 3: And I hadn't even thought about mail in ballots, and
Speaker 3: it looked really I was like what is happening? And
Speaker 3: guys were driving their pickups in and just antagonizing the
Speaker 3: hippies in town with flags, and it was like, I
Speaker 3: don't like how this feels. Regardless of who wins. I
Speaker 3: fucking hate the decorum, you know, where you're just screaming
Speaker 3: and being an asshole. So like to kind of land
Speaker 3: in there and just have that like, oh god, you know,
Speaker 3: I was very surprised that we didn't have any part
Speaker 3: of us that were like, let's just go dance, Let's
Speaker 3: go dance around in the street.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: So this non walking baby, yeah, you know, so it's like,
Speaker 3: oh man, anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to celebrate with her. You did include her in
Speaker 1: the celebration.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, yea, yeah, this clueless.
Speaker 4: Child in basically party town, USA. That's the funniest part
Speaker 4: is like it is like the greatest thing to celebrate
Speaker 4: and the best place to do it, and you guys
Speaker 4: are just like, okay, we're turning in.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, not a lot of babies.
Speaker 3: At Marty gro No and will I will say during
Speaker 3: twenty twenty that you know, it's like when you go
Speaker 3: to if you go through the let's say, go down
Speaker 3: Bourbon Street like seven am, it's the saddest place in
Speaker 3: the world. You know, it's just like there's cups and bars.
Speaker 3: It was. It was sad all the time because no
Speaker 3: one's there and the bars are trying to stay around,
Speaker 3: and you know, the only people wandering the streets are
Speaker 3: just they start talking to you right away and you're like, okay,
Speaker 3: I don't want any of what you're selling, you know,
Speaker 3: baby huh, yeah, my sister has a baby. You know,
Speaker 3: I just I've noticed it. Okay, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: we're not starting, We're not you and I are not talking.
Speaker 3: Stop walking along with us.
Speaker 1: Do not say the word Christ to me, Do not
Speaker 1: bring him up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think it was actually more nefarious than that.
Speaker 3: It was like someone who's like, you know, could you
Speaker 3: loan me? It's just this kind of wandering skev dudes.
Speaker 1: And when you turn to him and say, I'd love
Speaker 1: to talk to you about Christ and then.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, will you pray with me? Sir? Nothing's worth this.
Speaker 1: Running away?
Speaker 2: Oh my I do you feel, Matt, you've been on
Speaker 2: the road right doing shows?
Speaker 5: Do you find that strange people are in the audience
Speaker 5: and feeling empowered and being more vocal than a few
Speaker 5: years ago.
Speaker 2: Last night I had a very strange, scary.
Speaker 3: I scaled back my road this year. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 3: it was the smartest thing I ever did. Like I'm
Speaker 3: I'm i'm homeway more, I'm I'm helping my wife way more.
Speaker 3: Or you know, Rosco's a daycare all day, but weekend
Speaker 3: she's she's with us, And that's why you want it.
Speaker 3: But when it's just one of us all weekend. It's
Speaker 3: it's a lot, you know, the two of us. It's great. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but yeah, I was. I was in this club. There's
Speaker 3: great club called Laugh Camp in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and
Speaker 3: the second show Friday night, these two dudes would not
Speaker 3: shut up. And I don't mean they're talking, they just
Speaker 3: kept yelling stuff during my setups and I'm just like this.
Speaker 3: I put out the fire uput of the fire like
Speaker 3: six seven times and finally went, ah, you guys gotta
Speaker 3: go man, and the crowd's like applauding because they the
Speaker 3: crowd has turned on and the crowd is like, yeah,
Speaker 3: shut up, and they're like what No, And they got
Speaker 3: walked out by this old bartender there's no security and
Speaker 3: finished the set, had a good one, got it, went
Speaker 3: to the bar for a beer with the staff, and
Speaker 3: I'm just making conversation with the bartender and I was like,
Speaker 3: what the hell will those guys were like, what twenty
Speaker 3: five and he's like no, they were their fifties. And
Speaker 3: that threw me for such a loop that the next
Speaker 3: night I had a so soo set where I could
Speaker 3: not get my bearings. Not that I was afraid of
Speaker 3: people talking to me. I don't really care about that
Speaker 3: because it eventually gets snuffed. But just how old, yeah,
Speaker 3: drunk and unaware they were. It just went I was like,
Speaker 3: who who is this?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: The worst hecklers I ever had at Crackers in Indianapolis.
Speaker 2: They wouldn't stop.
Speaker 5: And I asked them who what they did for a living,
Speaker 5: because you know, I love crowd work, and they were like,
Speaker 5: we're high school history teachers. They were high school writers,
Speaker 5: and they were being the most disruptive children in the room.
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, they're like, it's time for me to
Speaker 3: get some Yeah, those kids interrupt me all the time.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna throw a paper airplane at you. That They
Speaker 5: had to be fifties, nineteen fifties teachers.
Speaker 3: They keep they keep yelling boner, like during everyone you're life,
Speaker 3: would you stop, please stop yelling boner.
Speaker 4: I feel like also, these all is tied together with
Speaker 4: the communal thread of either people are drinking too much
Speaker 4: these days or they're on they're on a ton of
Speaker 4: fucking pills in that way where they're they're like, when
Speaker 4: they're in the real world, it doesn't feel real to
Speaker 4: them anymore, so they're doing shit like that. I feel
Speaker 4: like that's like a people are just kind of like
Speaker 4: on drugs or on.
Speaker 2: The biggest part. I think everyone's kind of wasted right now. Yeah, yeah, rightfully.
Speaker 3: So look, I get it. It's a it's a it's
Speaker 3: a time of high anxiety. But it's like not that
Speaker 3: you can ever totally check out from reality. But the
Speaker 3: time to do that is when you're in your early twenties. Yes,
Speaker 3: you know, I'll say all of your twenties, maybe some
Speaker 3: of your thirties, you go to a festival and blackout. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: fair friends that look out for you. But it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, when you get into adulthood and you have
Speaker 3: some modicum of responsibility, like like, okay, for example, your
Speaker 3: guys they're teachers, Okay, they're like, wouldn't it be crazy
Speaker 3: if at the lights come up, we just stood up
Speaker 3: and pulled each other's dicks out of our pants. And
Speaker 3: they do that, and they're like, eh or whatever, and
Speaker 3: one of their students is there with their parents and
Speaker 3: that fucks up that student's head so bad where they're like,
Speaker 3: it wasn't even sexual. It's not like he wanted to
Speaker 3: touch his friend's peanit. They were just trying to be disgusting.
Speaker 5: I do like the mutualism that you just came up
Speaker 5: with on the top of your head, like I'll pull your.
Speaker 1: Quite a hypothetical. It's quite a hypothetical, to be fair.
Speaker 3: I said something way cooler than those guys. Whatever, be
Speaker 3: comfortable to do, Okay, okay, And then this this student
Speaker 3: is just like fuck, I didn't know mister Dorsey was
Speaker 3: like such a piece of shit. He seemed like kind
Speaker 3: of a nerd. But I like the stuff he's talking about,
Speaker 3: and he has an insight. Boy, it's a real jackal
Speaker 3: and hide situation when that guy gets drunk.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Any Civics, court history, Uh, it seemed government. Those classes
Speaker 5: seem to be taught I don't know why by football
Speaker 5: coaches and teachers.
Speaker 2: And these guys were big, like jockey dudes, you know,
Speaker 2: just locker room took and tickle.
Speaker 3: What's a problem. I definitely I had a history teacher
Speaker 3: who had the whole you'll grow out of it if
Speaker 3: you cared about any other strat of society besides your own.
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like no, no, you'll get it.
Speaker 3: You'll someday you'll know that those people, Oh God, why
Speaker 3: are you taking why are you teaching us history?
Speaker 1: Are teaching children? Yeah?
Speaker 2: For real.
Speaker 5: I also think that all the hecklers are being empowered
Speaker 5: by this trend now of everyone trying to do a
Speaker 5: viral uh oh crowd work video, Like I don't want
Speaker 5: to burn my materials, so I'm going to do a
Speaker 5: lot of hey what do you do for a living's?
Speaker 5: And and it's kind of I've noticed it affecting audiences.
Speaker 5: I get it, and I like crowd work. It's great,
Speaker 5: but uh, crowd's been chirpy and talking and confident.
Speaker 3: It's like the super drunk person that thinks they're helping
Speaker 3: times ten. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, it's like I know,
Speaker 3: I know, you know, Yeah, that's that's my cousin. That's that.
Speaker 4: Also, there's a lot of those people, like in the
Speaker 4: viral videos I've watched of comics that are getting somehow
Speaker 4: quote unquote attacked. Is those hecklers are genuinely stupid. So
Speaker 4: it's like it's like a thing where it's kind of
Speaker 4: like you're you're trying to be witty toward a barking
Speaker 4: dog because that's they're just drunk and basically going like
Speaker 4: I don't have to think the way you think or
Speaker 4: so get out of your aunt, Carol, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's genuinely sad. Yes, a lot of those
Speaker 3: videos where you're like, this is a person with a
Speaker 3: broken mind and a broken.
Speaker 1: Life a comedy club to fight with like premises like
Speaker 1: stop it.
Speaker 2: But then they got drunk and then you read the
Speaker 2: comments that they lost their job or something. It's like, well,
Speaker 2: I don't want that. I just oh, maybe I had
Speaker 2: to stay at home.
Speaker 3: Yes, I read a drunk A drunk pair of women
Speaker 3: during my setups. You can just hear them discussing something
Speaker 3: as loud as we're talking right now, in the silence
Speaker 3: that is there when we're not talking. And everyone kept
Speaker 3: shoshing them, kept shoshing them, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: just I just put them out, put him out, put
Speaker 3: them out. Then finally snapped and go and just I
Speaker 3: just yelled, you gotta shout the fuck up. I hate
Speaker 3: doing that. I hate when I snapped. I feel like
Speaker 3: I lost control and applause. But then and after the show,
Speaker 3: people were like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker 3: And they were like, well, we were with our friend
Speaker 3: in the hospital. She has cancer.
Speaker 1: It was like, no, all right, that is leave your
Speaker 1: fucking friend out of it. You were an asshole, and don't.
Speaker 3: Be like I need to drink nine drinks. This is
Speaker 3: so hard to get through.
Speaker 4: And then go to a comedy right, go drink nine
Speaker 4: drinks at a bar where they like stuff like that, Yes.
Speaker 3: Where the music is loud and it can be loud.
Speaker 1: To do your thing.
Speaker 4: I'll never forget. This reminded me, but it's very off topic.
Speaker 4: But when I lived in San Francisco. When I lived
Speaker 4: in San Francisco, and now that I think back, like
Speaker 4: we were living off the fat of the land in
Speaker 4: the early nineties.
Speaker 1: It's fucking hilarious.
Speaker 4: Like I worked at the Gap and I was able
Speaker 4: to live in San Francisco and like go out to
Speaker 4: dinner when I was just laugh insanity, just insane. So right,
Speaker 4: we got drunk because that's what we did every weekend,
Speaker 4: like literally buying Budweiser Tall Boys, drinking as many as
Speaker 4: we can and then going to get like one or
Speaker 4: two drinks in an actual bar because we have to,
Speaker 4: Like you had to figure out how to get your bus.
Speaker 2: I did that, mag and I have done that together.
Speaker 2: Continue go on.
Speaker 4: Right, it's the classic, like when you're twenty seven, and
Speaker 4: you're like, this is how we're gonna do this. We
Speaker 4: rolled in super drunk to a jazz bar on Market
Speaker 4: Street where some jazz legend had come to play, and
Speaker 4: the room probably had fifty people in it.
Speaker 1: We plopped down in a booth and we're.
Speaker 4: Just like anyway, so that backing guy says to me,
Speaker 4: and people are like and like the hardcore shushing we
Speaker 4: were getting, and I'm like trying to drink like a
Speaker 4: you know, a Greyhound or something, and we think that
Speaker 4: we're just sitting there to drink and smoke and talk
Speaker 4: over this fucking it was. It could have been fucking
Speaker 4: stand getz. It could have been the greatest jazz music
Speaker 4: in a full time and we were literally treating it
Speaker 4: like background music and we were so drunk, and then
Speaker 4: the vibe, it was like the entire room turned on us.
Speaker 4: And when then we're like, we gotta get out of here.
Speaker 4: Like suddenly we came to like, oh, we fucked this
Speaker 4: up so bad. But it feels to me like the
Speaker 4: people that end up being like those ridiculous like endless hecklers,
Speaker 4: there's so drunk they can't come up into even feeling
Speaker 4: that the entire room hates them.
Speaker 1: They're still under there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're what I call invisible drunk. Like we've all
Speaker 3: been there where it's like you're so you're so hammer,
Speaker 3: you're taking your clothes off and stop stop you don't
Speaker 3: You're like, no, everything's just warm and cool. Everybody's cool.
Speaker 3: You're not even like your intellect isn't even just in
Speaker 3: the fact that people's faces are like, oh god, stop,
Speaker 3: stop stop, like you're shocking everyone. It's that level of
Speaker 3: lack of awareness.
Speaker 5: That's what happened in the most recent where the crowd
Speaker 5: the audience member threw that beer at uh oh yeah,
Speaker 5: the comic oh yeah, and I wish I knew her
Speaker 5: name right now, but she picked it up and just
Speaker 5: kept drinking it.
Speaker 2: I thought it was kind of a badass move, but
Speaker 2: oh incredible.
Speaker 5: They did not realize the audience was against them until
Speaker 5: she said, do you guys think they should stop? And
Speaker 5: everyone cheered, and that's what all of a sudden, they
Speaker 5: weren't invisible. There was that moment, and it caused the
Speaker 5: guy with to throw a beer.
Speaker 3: Someone took a beer and just as they're throwing it,
Speaker 3: in their mind they're like this is fine. Yeah, like
Speaker 3: this is like, that's that's a level of drunk. That's
Speaker 3: I mean, above and beyond the wall of duty.
Speaker 2: Makes me want to focus on podcasting.
Speaker 3: I'm like you not.
Speaker 2: It does not make them want to go to lax
Speaker 2: and fly somewhere.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean those two guys there
Speaker 3: was there was a guy in front of them who
Speaker 3: was kind of like, you're you're kind of crazy young
Speaker 3: guy who actually looked like the same the same look
Speaker 3: as like Fairbanks ten fifteen years ago when you when
Speaker 3: you when you had you had the flat bill and
Speaker 3: that bush of curls behind your head shirt, curly hair shirt.
Speaker 3: And he he was he was in front of them,
Speaker 3: and he was he was about your side. He's turned
Speaker 3: around and looked right at those guys. He's like he's like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna beat the fuck out of both. I shut up.
Speaker 3: And like after the show, the guy was standing there
Speaker 3: like people are like hey with a handlet shaking my
Speaker 3: hand and this and this kid was like, oh man,
Speaker 3: I was about to throw it down, bro, And I'm like,
Speaker 3: I know, and I'm glad you did. I'm glad I
Speaker 3: don't want this to become a fucking, you know, kettle
Speaker 3: of madness. I don't want I don't want anyone to
Speaker 3: get punched. I don't care what they did. I don't
Speaker 3: want this stuff that start like well.
Speaker 4: And also it doesn't make sense to me those clubs
Speaker 4: that don't take action immediately, because I think many of us.
Speaker 4: If you, if you did the majority of your stage
Speaker 4: time coming up in Los Angeles and you got to
Speaker 4: play at places like you know, the Hollywood Improv or
Speaker 4: Largo or any of those places where immediately you'd get
Speaker 4: dragged out of that fucking room. There's no way they
Speaker 4: would let two drunk guys just sit there and have
Speaker 4: their way at the show.
Speaker 3: That it's tough because that place is and people people,
Speaker 3: not that you said that, but people are there are
Speaker 3: people like what what a security? They did nothing, And
Speaker 3: I'm like, this club is holding on by a string.
Speaker 3: They don't have security. They have They had a small
Speaker 3: woman doing sound and a bartender who was like almost
Speaker 3: my dad's age. Who but I later found out the
Speaker 3: guy who told me that they were in the fifties,
Speaker 3: he had a concealed carry on him and I was like,
Speaker 3: oh boy, you imagine his training ticks just keep going Wronger.
Speaker 2: Lord, Two dead bodies Oh that's my closer.
Speaker 3: I like that.
Speaker 4: You said they have a small woman doing sound like
Speaker 4: a tall woman would have cost them more.
Speaker 1: So they had to get a small woman because they
Speaker 1: were hanging on by the edge.
Speaker 3: Just it's all. It's all about numbers and yeah and masks.
Speaker 5: Well with an eight piece band like a music outfit,
Speaker 5: they do have an eight foot tall woman that comes
Speaker 5: in for that.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, she does. The more security does the scheduling.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the more complicated the job, the taller the person.
Speaker 5: That's how it's always been.
Speaker 2: That's how it is.
Speaker 1: That's how it's always been.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's so true. At Fable, I did Mike Bredenstein
Speaker 5: and Mike Combs is shot Fable. Ye, my crazy guy
Speaker 5: that was focused on me and was following me around
Speaker 5: and sitting next to me. Oh to at such a
Speaker 5: crazy level where I was just like, oh, I have
Speaker 5: to engage with him. He's like a lost person. Maybe
Speaker 5: connecting with him is the way to go, But it wasn't.
Speaker 5: He was crazy and they finally they kicked him out
Speaker 5: and they did a good job of it. So that
Speaker 5: sometimes yeah, yeah, there because it was a bar and
Speaker 5: there was a bouncer up front, like yeah, bars have bouncers.
Speaker 2: Comedy clubs are like, it'll be fine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, part of the job.
Speaker 2: You joke your way through it.
Speaker 3: Even though a comedy club is just a bar with
Speaker 3: a mic. Yeah, yeah, all it is.
Speaker 5: It doesn't matter even what we're doing on stage, as
Speaker 5: long as we're selling drinks.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh yeah, yes, you know.
Speaker 2: Do you a lot of people? I was about to
Speaker 2: change the subject. Did you have a conclusionary remarks about
Speaker 2: the current subject?
Speaker 3: Not me, No, I don't know. I don't know what
Speaker 3: to do about it. I'm hoping it. I'm hoping it
Speaker 3: works itself out and comics find something else to do
Speaker 3: videos about or whatever.
Speaker 5: But yeah, it's not Yes, yeah, most of the guests
Speaker 5: we have on here, i'd say about more than half
Speaker 5: of them, we end up talking inevitably about good times
Speaker 5: at Bridgetown. And it wasn't read your information sheet. I
Speaker 5: forgot that that first year where I stayed in your
Speaker 5: tall dad's basement.
Speaker 2: You did with your short dad and your No, I
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 3: You're tall.
Speaker 5: Both your parents are very tall and very sweet. And
Speaker 5: I was in the basement because I was like one
Speaker 5: of the last comics to be added. But that was
Speaker 5: one of the second year. Maybe you started that with Andy.
Speaker 5: I did.
Speaker 3: I did, and we had a lot of people who
Speaker 3: did the real work and it was awesome. I mostly
Speaker 3: just watched tape and asked my famouser friends to do it,
Speaker 3: and then I would I would do it myself as well.
Speaker 3: But you know, even with all the money that came in,
Speaker 3: of which I never took a dime, I didn't think
Speaker 3: that was the right thing to do because I didn't
Speaker 3: do a lot of work for it, and I always
Speaker 3: had so much fun.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: They were all making about as much as you'd make
Speaker 3: edit Burger king right for years for the work. So
Speaker 3: after ten years when Andy was like, I think this
Speaker 3: might be it, I was like, dude, I get it right.
Speaker 3: But it's funny that you like you were in the basement.
Speaker 3: It was just like there was no money then to
Speaker 3: put anybody anywhere, you know, so like people were staying
Speaker 3: over in friends houses and.
Speaker 4: All that jazz and well, I hope the people that
Speaker 4: worked at Bridgetown year after year and any even if
Speaker 4: a one off year, I hope they understand what a
Speaker 4: gift they were giving the performers because I have so
Speaker 4: many amazing I mean, I think I went two or
Speaker 4: three years. Every memory I have from there, every performance,
Speaker 4: every like location, the bartenders, the staff, the people that
Speaker 4: worked there at the other comics, Like it was such
Speaker 4: it wasn't just like stand up summer camp. There was
Speaker 4: this other kind of like really beautiful shared art experience
Speaker 4: that only.
Speaker 1: Those people could have provided for us.
Speaker 4: And like, you know, a Ron Lynch midnight show where
Speaker 4: everyone's doing some weird thing he made up and it
Speaker 4: turned out to be the fucking greatest thing you've ever seen.
Speaker 4: Like there was so much of that shit going on
Speaker 4: at Bridgetown, it truly, Especially in Quarantine, I thought about
Speaker 4: different shit we did at Bridgetown so much because it
Speaker 4: was like, it would be so fun to be in
Speaker 4: that big party room again, or it'd be so fun
Speaker 4: to you know, whatever idea, and it's just such a
Speaker 4: it's such a lovely you know, like people did work
Speaker 4: really hard and volunteered and kind of gave it there all.
Speaker 1: But it was such a great experience. It was such
Speaker 1: a great festival.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I I yeah, same, Like like every single
Speaker 3: year it was. It was different but the same, and
Speaker 3: that everybody had such a gas at such a great time.
Speaker 3: The shows were so incredible, and you know, I mean
Speaker 3: we we caught so much hell for our uh you
Speaker 3: know what what some peep comics would call like anti
Speaker 3: white dude segregation or whatever. But it's just like we
Speaker 3: just had like slots to fill and it was just
Speaker 3: like all right, we'll full up, full up white dudes,
Speaker 3: you know, and it's just like, you know, it just
Speaker 3: Portland is already such a white place. And I think,
Speaker 3: you know, like that was the only real negative was
Speaker 3: Andy would catch hell. I never no one said ever
Speaker 3: said shit to me. But you know the positive thing
Speaker 3: was it laid this groundwork for comedy in Portland was
Speaker 3: good and had a definite scene. But now the scene
Speaker 3: is enormous and has been since like the halfway point,
Speaker 3: the final point of Bridge Down, Like it's it's so
Speaker 3: great there. Like you know, Kanaane lives there now, yeah,
Speaker 3: yeahs in Beaverton with Rachel and like he just does
Speaker 3: gigs in town and he's always telling me, he's like, fuck,
Speaker 3: everyone's so good. He's like I feel terrible you know
Speaker 3: sometimes you know, well just that, but don't you. I mean,
Speaker 3: every every comic, I play the comedy store once or
Speaker 3: twice a week, and I'll always go there and I'll
Speaker 3: watch at least two people that make me feel like
Speaker 3: dog shit. Yeah, it's like where I'm just like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you need that. You need someone who's just like, God,
Speaker 3: damn it, Why why do I have to that.
Speaker 5: People are getting good and I like that I'm not
Speaker 5: not everyone's doing crowd work videos.
Speaker 2: I'm there's so many comics are so amazing.
Speaker 4: Right now, so amazing well, and the people watching other
Speaker 4: people over the years. It's like the benefit of being
Speaker 4: somebody that's starting or five years in right now is
Speaker 4: all of the people who who did it before, right
Speaker 4: So it's like it's it's the natural progression, and it
Speaker 4: is the perfect thing for like a person who's like
Speaker 4: a stand up comic personality to have all of their
Speaker 4: jeal triggered because it's like that's how good I wanted
Speaker 4: to be, And like like the last time I did
Speaker 4: stand up, like I had to follow James Fritz. Have
Speaker 4: you had to follow James Fritz lately? Like his shit
Speaker 4: is about important things right now that people are talking about,
Speaker 4: but the jokes are amazing. He is fucking hilarious, completely authentic.
Speaker 4: So it's that kind of thing where I'm like, I
Speaker 4: don't need to do this. If this is the level
Speaker 4: that people are doing, I have had my chance and
Speaker 4: like and God bless everybody do this level, because I'm
Speaker 4: bringing the level down with my I'm actually reading my
Speaker 4: tweets out loud and basically telling everybody I don't care.
Speaker 1: Enough to try.
Speaker 4: And then meanwhile people are putting together like it's not
Speaker 4: just like late night sets anymore. People are putting together
Speaker 4: one man or woman shows and just doing them like
Speaker 4: fifteen minute increments is beautiful.
Speaker 3: No, I have two that I consistently have to fucking
Speaker 3: follow it. It makes me furious. Is Rick Ingram, who
Speaker 3: is like the greatest livings uh crowd work man of
Speaker 3: all time, Like that guy Chris Rock took him on
Speaker 3: tour like all through Europe and I would die to
Speaker 3: see him just roast a French crowd or whatever. He
Speaker 3: just says the craziest ship to people and just never
Speaker 3: has material. And I'm just like, fuck you, I've been
Speaker 3: trying to write all day. And then you know, Fahim
Speaker 3: an War will just do the silliest premise and it
Speaker 3: will just destroy Yeah, and he's he's never not funny,
Speaker 3: like it's you know, and I've told him that it's
Speaker 3: just he's one of those guys, and he's one of
Speaker 3: those guys who like the biggest names. Oh Fahim's up.
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, yeah, it's just but it's like I
Speaker 3: still get that definite imposter syndrome from Damn and others.
Speaker 3: But it's like, so what you know, like you're still
Speaker 3: It's just it is part of it.
Speaker 1: It's part of the engine.
Speaker 4: It's like the it's the fuel in the engine that
Speaker 4: gets you so that you you know, so that you
Speaker 4: do the next thing and the bigger thing and take
Speaker 4: a bigger bite.
Speaker 3: Well, and Rick is so negative that when he found
Speaker 3: out I quit my podcast, he was so jealous, like
Speaker 3: he's in the parking. I like, he quit his fucking podcast.
Speaker 3: You can do that. God damn it wrong. You're a
Speaker 3: better man, and I hate it. You know what for quitting,
Speaker 3: I've inspired you by giving up. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I really had a feeling last night when I of
Speaker 5: getting older, my career having been going on a long time.
Speaker 5: As I wrote some jokes and I wrote them on
Speaker 5: a piece of paper and that it's on stage and
Speaker 5: because the there wasn't a stark spotlight, I looked down
Speaker 5: at my notes and it was just blurry. I couldn't read,
Speaker 5: Oh god, because I needed these reading glasses now and
Speaker 5: I sat on them.
Speaker 2: As you can see there, it's just one arm whatever the.
Speaker 5: Last time, like well, I have new jokes here, but
Speaker 5: it's a series of vague and watercolor stripes.
Speaker 2: I have no idea what I wrote down?
Speaker 1: Do you have anything you want to plug before we
Speaker 1: get out?
Speaker 3: My special Doug, which is named after a terrible man
Speaker 3: my wife and I met on vacation. Once is on,
Speaker 3: It's on everywhere on video on demand. It's just I
Speaker 3: tell the story of you're driving across the country, us
Speaker 3: having the baby out, fatherhood has just changed me, and
Speaker 3: also looking back on my garbage days and how actually
Speaker 3: being with a with a pirate woman partner has made
Speaker 3: life a lot more fun. So that's that's out there.
Speaker 5: And yeah, check out Doug's and this episode of Do
Speaker 5: You Need a Ride? We're gonna go ahead and dedicate
Speaker 5: to Doug please do.
Speaker 3: Awesome.
Speaker 2: Thanks for the past, Thanks, oh thanks for having me guys.
Speaker 3: This is awesome. Appreciate love you both.
Speaker 2: You've been listening to Do You Need to Ride? D
Speaker 2: y n a are This has been an exactly right.
Speaker 1: Production produced by Analise Nelson.
Speaker 2: Mixed by Edson Choy.
Speaker 1: Our talent booker is Patrick Kottner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 4: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 4: podcast That's d y nar Podcast.
Speaker 2: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you both, You're welcome.