WEBVTT - ASK US ANYTHING! Lisa Answers Listener Questions 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.520 I won't lend my body out be outweigh everything that 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:07.960 I'm made do. Won't spend my life trying to change. 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.440 I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong, 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:15.840 I feel free, I know who every part of me. 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:24.000 It's beautiful and I will always out way. If you 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.040 feel it with your eys in the air, She'll love 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.840 to the moo. I get there. Let's say good day 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:35.760 and time did you and die out? Hello, Outweigh fam 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:39.920 Lisa here, and today's a special episode because I received 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:42.839 an email from well Amy and I received an email 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:45.680 from a listener. Her name is Teresa, so this one 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:49.000 goes out to Teresa. Teresa says, good evening. I'm an 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:51.800 avid listener to Outweigh, and I've learned so much from 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:54.440 each episode. I've been on my own journey of recovery 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:56.640 from disordered eating, and I'm proud of myself for the 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:00.240 steps I've taken. It's very hard and constant work. I'm 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.800 reaching out because I noticed a red flag in myself 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:05.479 lately and I realized I need to put the extra 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.319 energy back into my recovery to get back on track. 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:11.520 I'm someone who developed and needing disorder later in life. 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:13.800 So I think my story is unique in a few ways. 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:16.120 So I'm shooting my shot to see if you have 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:18.440 any time for a quick combo so I could ask 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:21.240 some questions. Part of getting back on track is diving 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:25.000 into recovery, exploration and learning more. I have a few 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:28.120 questions that haven't necessarily been touched on any episode, and 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:30.920 I'd love to hear your input. I've really looked up 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:33.640 to you and your openness regarding disordered eating, and it's 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:36.120 been helpful along my journey. I know you're busy and 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.240 totally understand if you don't have time, but I wanted 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.399 to take a shot. So again, thanks for a great 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:44.280 podcast and for being such an encouraging voice. So Teresa 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:48.160 submitted four questions. I'm going to go through each of them, 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:51.800 starting with what to do when you slip into an 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:55.680 unhealthy mindset. Will get into suggestions for what to do 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:58.080 when you're going through a stressful event and you turn 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:01.520 to food, how to respond to those negative thoughts that 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:04.760 pop in, and how to tell the difference between listening 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:07.400 to your body and being proud of yourself or being 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:11.760 proud because of old habits. So I'll get into detail 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.480 about each of those. I want to thank Teresa and 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:16.720 all of you for seeing Amy and I as people 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.240 that you can trust as your friends and coming to 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:23.320 us for really advice, I know for me, you know, 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:25.880 coming to me from my registered dietitian point of view 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:28.800 or professional point of view, and maybe just coming to 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.200 Amy to kind of just look up to her journey 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:34.560 and watching it as it beautifully unfolds. So let's start 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.200 with question number one. Teresa wrote, what should you do 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:40.600 when you start to slip into unhealthy mindsets? And what 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:45.080 are some of your techniques for resetting your mindset? Great question, 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:47.079 and I think we're going to break this down into 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:50.200 a few different things. So the first thing I always say, 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:52.400 fork the noise is because you need to first be 0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:58.160 able to notice when you're not being your best self. 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:01.040 And the best way to do that is to first 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:05.160 recognize that your brain has been infiltrated, that it's in 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:09.360 some sort of a fear mindset, that it is no 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:13.160 longer you taking the best care of yourself, but rather 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:17.240 you coming from this false sense of protection. Point. So 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:19.120 the first thing you really need to start to do 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:23.760 is to understand your body when your mindset is being unhealthy, 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:25.880 and that might sound really weird, but your body is 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:29.200 constantly sending you signals of when it's in fear. You 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:31.000 might get a little bit of a hot flash or 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:34.720 a jolt, or your stomach might tense up, or something 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:37.160 else might tense up in your body. But I want 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:39.760 you to start to get to know your body's reaction 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:44.880 to fear because that sometimes precipitates what's happening in our mind, 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:48.680 and it's really tangible when we can feel those changes 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:51.600 in our body. Once we feel those changes in our body, 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:55.560 we can recognize that we're no longer at baseline. So 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.600 step one is to really get to know when you're 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.960 being triggered. Then, and I want you to challenge yourself. 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:05.160 So whatever that unhealthy mindset is telling you to do, 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.840 I want you to do the opposite. Challenge yourself. If 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:12.000 it's saying don't eat this food, eat that food, because 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.720 you want to continue to neutralize that food, not allow 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:17.240 it to build up on itself. The second thing I 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:21.320 want to suggest is getting an accountability friend. So I 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:25.480 actually had somebody say something triggering to me last night. 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.280 I went to dinner with a friend and a mail 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:30.520 came over to the table and he said something to 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.239 me that he thought was being nice, but I found 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.839 myself triggered. Now, for me, a triggering situation does not 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:39.960 lead to action, so I did not think about, you know, 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:43.080 monitoring my food intake or changing it in any way. 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:45.440 But I did notice that I was affected by the 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:47.880 comment that was said to me, and I felt kind 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.000 of like out of my body for a moment. And 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:52.360 as soon as I left the dinner, I texted one 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:54.640 of my girlfriends and I was like, this just happened. 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:58.240 And she then told me she's getting married soon, and 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:00.839 she told me about all these comments she's been getting 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.880 from people about you know, losing weight for the wedding 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.720 and blah blah blah. And I step back from that conversation, 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:08.280 and then I returned to it, and I said, Oh, 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.160 I just want to let you know if any of 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.480 that stuff is ever coming up for you, you can 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:14.680 always text me and we could, you know, talk it out. 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:18.239 And I just know for me, having that safe place 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:19.720 to text a friend and be like, can you believe 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:22.479 this person said that to me really allowed me to 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:25.080 get it out of my head and into the hands 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:27.960 of somebody else who could hold space for me. And 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.800 I was no longer negatively affected by it, if that 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.920 makes sense. So have an accountability friend, have a safe 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:37.960 person that you can say, oh, this just happened and 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.640 I'm feeling really triggered. Maybe it's somebody that can give 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:42.680 advice and talk you off the cliff, or maybe it's 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:44.919 just somebody that you just said, Hey, when I'm going 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:46.560 through it, can I just text you this and you 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:49.680 don't need to actually respond, because sometimes we just need 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.320 to get it out there. The third thing I want 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:54.440 you to do is journal. So if you notice that 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:56.880 you're slipping into an unhealthy mindset, I want you to 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.240 grab a pen and a paper, and I want you 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:02.400 to just let the ledgates open and just right because 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:07.039 oftentimes when we are retracting to unhealthy mindset, older ways 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:10.800 of being, or habits, it's because something else is going on, 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:15.600 so it triggers are not necessarily obvious. So for me, 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:18.680 the comment that was said to me was very surface 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:21.640 and easy to understand why it took me there. But 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:24.680 in other situations, you might find yourself going back to 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.560 unhealthy ways because of less obvious things that are happening 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.839 in your life. Maybe it's a loss of control in 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:34.520 some other situations at work in your personal life and 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:38.799 your romantic life. Maybe there's just some sort of disalignment 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.440 or lack of alignment happening in your life that is 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:44.800 kind of like an undercurrent, not obvious to you or 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:47.599 the outside world. But if you start journaling, if you 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:49.919 start letting it all out, going to be able to 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.200 get to the bottom of it a lot more easily, 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:56.159 and therefore the mindset is going to change as a result. 0:06:56.400 --> 0:06:58.280 The last piece of advice I want to give for 0:06:58.360 --> 0:07:02.240 this question is to do what I call emotional sifting. 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:04.800 So I try to do this every morning, if not 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:08.159 every few days, if not once a week. But emotional 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:11.280 sifting is getting to the bottom of what's really going on, 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:13.800 and most of us don't take time to kind of 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:16.200 clear that clutter. We go through our days, we go 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.400 to sleep, we wake up, we do it again. When 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:21.360 you take time, whether it's meditation or just quiet time 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:24.280 throughout the day, all that stuff that's kind of bubbling 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:27.080 inside of you has a chance to come up and 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:30.040 get air, and by getting to the bottom of it, 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:35.400 you can really reset the foundation of your being. A 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:40.520 lot of times when things are wrong, we grab a solution, 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:44.880 but we don't make our way to what's causing the problem. Right, 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.600 we don't get to the root. If your stomach hurts, 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:50.920 you're likely to grab pepto bismol that will make the 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.320 problem go away. But did you really get to the 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:57.560 bottom of what was causing that stomach ache? Right? Instead, 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:03.400 I want you to pull the roots out of what 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:07.160 is going on in your life. So emotional sifting is 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:11.200 taking time to sift through the emotions that we are 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:15.400 pushing down one at a time, and I have found 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:19.120 that it is an incredibly healthy way to keep your 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:24.920 mindset healthy and really understand where things are coming from 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.440 as they come up for you. So those are some 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:29.280 things you can do when you start to slip into 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:32.960 those unhealthy mindset. Challenge yourself eat that food, or do 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:36.440 the opposite of the behavior that your mind is telling 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:39.559 you not to do or to do. Get an accountability 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:44.080 friend journal, and start your emotional sifting journey. But are 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.800 some of your suggestions After going through a stressful event. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:50.280 During emotional and stressful times, I turned to food. I 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:53.599 know that isn't necessarily unhealthy, but it often leads to 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:56.079 binges for me. I'm trying to have better tools in 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:59.240 my toolkit for being compassionate for myself during these times. 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.959 Love at This person is on their journey of bringing 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:08.559 compassion and recognizing that eating during stressful times isn't bad. However, 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:13.160 she still does believe that eating food when stressful is 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:15.360 bad right, doesn't want to believe that it sounds like 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.240 but that is where she's at. And I did a 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:21.360 whole webinar for free earlier this year on emotional eating, 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:24.920 and the main theme is that in order to elevate 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:27.800 our consciousness and know what to do, how to best 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:31.040 take care of ourselves in that stressful state is to 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:34.560 give ourselves permission to eat when we're emotional and stressed, 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:40.280 and pair that with the idea that eating during these 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:44.200 times is perfectly okay. When we are stressed. When we 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:47.360 are emotional, we are activating a different part of our 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:51.400 brain which is not as logical as being at baseline 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:54.000 and being in our front seat, and our minds are 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:56.800 very quickly hijacked to kind of move over to this 0:09:56.880 --> 0:10:00.080 other dimension. And once we're in that other dimension, and 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:04.400 it's very hard to take care of ourselves in any 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:08.680 way other than what is habit or what simply feels good, 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.280 and food as we know feels good. Oftentimes the foods 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:16.079 that we gravitate towards help us produce serotonin that feel 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:20.800 good hormone. So you're not broken for gravitating towards food 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:23.480 when it feels icky in your body. In fact, you're 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:26.520 being your own best caretaker. Given that you were in 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:30.719 the secondary dimension, you're in a really uncomfortable place, and 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:33.600 you're just doing what you have to to swim out 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:36.600 of the mud that you're stuck in. However, if we 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:40.240 can bring ourselves back to the frontal cortex, the part 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:43.720 of our brain that is logical, that you know makes sense, 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.280 we can really say, Okay, what do I need right 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:49.839 now to take the best care of myself? And sometimes 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.679 the answer really is food, even in the absence of 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.560 physical hunger. So food can be the best way to 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.320 take care of ourselves. Eating, eating a lot, even a 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.079 binge can be the healthy this thing that we do. 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:03.640 So I want to repeat that again, a binge can 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:05.840 be the healthiest thing that we do. And compared to 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:09.240 a lot of other coping mechanisms, I really argue that 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:12.960 it's a far more healthy coping mechanism than you know, 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:16.800 things like drugs or alcohol or other self sabotaging things 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:19.960 that could really put us in a dangerous situation. So 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.240 I want to introduce you to what I call emotional 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:25.800 eating and the five P action plan. This is where 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.880 we really start to tackle emotional hunger as I call it, 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.199 or emotional eating in a new way. So the five 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:39.880 piece stand for pause, pry, pick, persevere, and process. So 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:42.839 the first P is for pause. So when you start 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:47.240 to feel stressed and you're turning towards food, can you pause? 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:49.160 Oh it's so hard to do, trust me, I know, 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.160 especially because we so badly want that pain away. But 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:54.040 if you can step dead in your tracks, if you 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:59.920 can breathe, take one inhale, one exhale, then you can 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.920 recognize that there is an emotional and a chemical shift 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:06.520 happening in your body. From that state, you can pry. 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:09.480 You can look inward. You can ask yourself what's going on. 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:12.640 Maybe you can label the emotion. I feel anxious, I 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:16.720 feel stressed, I feel tired, I feel unhurt, I feel unappreciative. 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:21.080 With that clarity, you can pick. You can pick your action. 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:24.800 What do you need right now? Is it food or 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:29.920 is it another resource? Resourcing means using your self care toolbox, 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.920 looking within and looking at the coping strategies that you 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.280 have to calm down. Is it going for a walk, 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:39.440 breathing essential oils, giving yourself a hug, or is it 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.679 eating and either of them. If we did that first step, 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.959 which is really neutralizing the idea that eating food is bad, 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.680 or eating food at a certain time or amount or 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:51.720 a binge is bad, only then can we really know 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:54.240 what we needed in that moment and give it to 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:58.280 ourselves radically. So if you ate, we're going to move 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.000 into that next p which is person fear, move on. 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:04.840 There's no guilt because we made an active choice to eat. 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:09.160 When we picked our action, we said, I feel stressed 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:12.640 and food is going to help me right now. Yes, 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:16.480 it won't solve my problems, but I am too activated 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:20.880 right now to really use my other resources. I am 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.199 too upset, and I need to feel a little bit 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.439 of good before I can kind of get through what's 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:30.520 really going on. So when we really pick, we're elevating 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.840 consciousness and that is really the main difference between that 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:38.000 and emotional eating as we know it, feeling stressed, finding ourselves, 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:39.959 you know, knee deep in a bag of chips or 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.120 chips and then granola, and then ice cream and then 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.800 blah blah blah, where we're like, whoa, what just happened? 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:49.199 Right when we pause, pry and pick, it says this 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:52.280 is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna eat. There's no guilt, 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:55.160 there's no feeling bad because we were doing it with 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.560 the consciousness of this is what I'm going to do, 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:02.719 which is completely completely different. So if you ate, you persevere, 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:05.080 you move on, no guilt, you did it with awareness. 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.640 And lastly, you're going to process. Once you're in that 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:12.400 commerce state, can you take time to sit with the emotion, 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:14.640 to sit with the stress and allow it to fully 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:18.400 come up to the surface. Just because emotions feel badly 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:20.920 doesn't mean that we need to get rid of them all. 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.720 In fact, I truly believe that as humans we need 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:28.200 to understand that difficult emotions and pain is part of 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:32.120 our process. Sometimes even in the same cup, if you will, 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:35.680 as the good feel so many things are bitter sweet, 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:40.520 and allowing for pain I think is really critical to 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:44.960 decreasing our suffering, if that makes any sense. Again, if 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.760 we choose to eat, we've owned it, We've picked that 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:50.440 I feel upset, I'm turning to food and that's a 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:54.040 new shift. It's bringing cognition and awareness to the situation 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:56.280 and we're not going to do so with guilt and 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.200 shame and we're simply going to move on. And I 0:14:58.240 --> 0:15:01.440 also want to mention here that a lot of people 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.760 talk about forgiveness after eating. I think that's something that 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.920 we really need to move away from. And I want 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:08.600 you to flag if you feel like I need to 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:12.280 forgive myself for eating, because that's continuing to further the 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:15.720 idea that what you did was bad and you should 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.920 forgive yourself. Right, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't offer 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:22.320 yourself forgiveness for other things. But I think around food 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:24.600 and eating, it's a little bit too serious of a 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.600 tone and it's making it into a much bigger deal 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:31.360 and atonement process then it should be, which only further 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:35.480 is the idea that what you did was good or bad. Again, 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.560 with that raised awareness, following the five P action plan, 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.480 I think you'll see that you have a really different experience. 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.480 And by the way, anyone feel free to rewind take 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:47.320 notes after everything that um I'm saying here If this 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:49.600 resonates with you or you feel it could be helpful, 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:52.480 but could be helpful, maybe not in this moment, but 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:55.520 in a moment when you do need it. Next question 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:57.920 is how do you respond to yourself when a negative 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:00.960 thought pops in I'm doing much bad are at identifying 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.440 those negative thoughts and not repeating them, But I still 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.600 find myself looking in the mirror sometimes and thinking gross. 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:10.320 What ideas do you have to responding to those negative thoughts? 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.280 So I know for a lot of people, positive affirmations 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:16.120 can be really grounding. Even starting your day looking in 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:19.280 the mirror saying some positive things can be really helpful. 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.200 I think for me, I like to say those things 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.520 out loud. So if I'm if that thought pops into 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.600 my head that says you look gross, you look blah 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:28.520 blah blah blah blah blah, I'll say it out loud, 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:31.600 you look this. And it almost becomes comical to say 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.160 it out loud, because would you say that to a friend? 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.120 Saying it out loud, getting it outside of your head, 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:39.960 even just within your you know, just you and the 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:44.960 mirror talking to yourself really changes that. It really kind of, 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:47.240 in my opinion, kind of lightens the mood. It's like, 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.640 why would you say that to yourself? That's a ridiculous 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:53.640 thing to say, and I might even turn it into 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:57.000 a hug or a moment to soften into myself. I 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.720 might even ask myself, would you speak that way to 0:16:59.840 --> 0:17:03.520 a friend? I might ask myself, what's really going on? 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.800 Because a lot of the times when we look in 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:07.960 the mirror and we see something back, we're having a 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:12.400 bad body image day, it doesn't actually come from our body. 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:16.880 It actually might come from a different feeling of unworthiness 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:21.000 or a different feeling of insecurity. And I would find 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.680 perspective with breath. I would take a breath in, I 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:26.560 would zoom out for a second and say, okay, well, 0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:30.359 what about this is making me feel so fearful? What 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.879 types of pressure am I putting on my body to 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:36.679 look a certain way? What else do I offer to 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:39.800 the world. Why am I falling prey to the idea 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.560 that I need to have a six pack, or why 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:45.480 do I believe that my body shouldn't have roles or 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:47.640 whatever it is that's coming up for me that day, 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:51.719 And start to kind of unpack and untangle that and 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:57.359 and really questioned societal's expectations, societal's viewpoint of how we 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:01.120 should be and recognized, Okay, you know what, I'm going 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:03.560 to wear clothes that fit me today. I'm going to 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:06.399 move my body in a way that feels good and 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.120 really take your power back. So how do you respond 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:12.360 to yourself when a negative thought pops in? Positive affirmations 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.760 can be grounding. Say that thought out loud, turn it 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:19.159 into a moment to hug yourself. Ask yourself, would you 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.160 speak to a friend that way? Ask yourself what's really 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:25.880 going on that day and find a little perspective does 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:28.719 this really matter? Next question is how can I tell 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:30.879 the difference between listening to my body and being proud 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:33.040 of myself? Or am I proud of myself because of 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:35.680 old habits. Sometimes at the end of the day, when 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:38.520 I didn't have anything on my previous naughty list, I 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:42.320 feel proud of myself, but I can't necessarily discern if 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:44.879 that's because I listened to my body and I'm proud 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.800 of that, or because I'm subconsciously still celebrating not eating 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.840 bad foods. What Teresa is asking is if I don't 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.159 have let's say her naughty food is chocolate. Right, If 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.160 I don't have chocolate, I feel really proud of myself. 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:00.439 But do I feel proud of myself because I honored 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:02.480 that need. Or do I feel proud of myself because 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.560 I went a day without having chocolate. So these are 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.399 some of the mind games that come up frequently for people, 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:11.800 especially as they're learning to listen to their body. And 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:16.240 I think that pride and self righteousness really emit a 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:19.200 different frequency in our body. So if you're feeling self 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.920 righteous about it, like oh, I didn't have that food, 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:24.119 and then the next day comes on and you're like, oh, 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:26.080 I didn't have that food again, and then the next 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:27.960 day and you're like, three days I haven't had it, 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.680 I should go five days. That sounds like it's self 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:35.359 righteousness happening, and it's likely going to turn into a 0:19:35.520 --> 0:19:39.000 problem shortly thereafter. So what I want you to do, 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:42.320 Teresa and our listeners is to come up with what 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:44.760 that naughty list is right now, right what's on your 0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:48.280 bad food list? The foods you shouldn't have and today today, 0:19:48.359 --> 0:19:51.560 I want you to start neutralizing those foods, bringing them 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:55.320 into your life even if you don't necessarily want them 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:57.840 or crave them. So what do I mean by this? 0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:00.639 For me? French fries was this food that every time 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:03.080 I ate them, I went bananas so I would either 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:05.680 have all the French fries or none of the French fries. 0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:07.200 And that was just kind of how it went back 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:10.000 and forth for me. And I started to neutralize French 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:13.160 fries by ordering them even if I didn't really want them, 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:16.040 and eating them even if I didn't really want them. 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:17.680 And you might say, why would you do that, you know, 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:19.560 if you don't really want them, why would you have them? 0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:22.480 But by allowing myself to eat my salad or my 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:26.200 sandwich and have a fry or two with it, even 0:20:26.240 --> 0:20:28.520 if I wasn't craving it, or it wasn't the weekend 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.320 or even the evening, allowed me to just have a 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:34.840 normal relationship to French fries. Take a look at your 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:37.960 good and bad food list and start to break down 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:41.080 and neutralize and challenge yourself with those foods that are 0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:43.960 on that list. So at the end of the day, 0:20:44.000 --> 0:20:46.359 you can be proud that you ate the cake or 0:20:46.400 --> 0:20:49.000 that you didn't eat the cake, but that pride right. 0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:52.199 How to distinguish is it pride or am I am I? 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:56.160 Restricting is to really ask yourself, what was the intent? 0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:59.600 Why did you not have it right? And really ask 0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:01.520 yourself to come from the place of I just didn't 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:03.679 want it, or did it come from this place of 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:06.640 I didn't want it and I really knew I shouldn't 0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:08.760 have it, So I didn't have it right because there's 0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:12.040 a restraint versus I just wasn't in the mood, or 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:15.560