Speaker 1: I won't lend my body out be outweigh everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made do. Won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know who every part of me.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful and I will always out way. If you
Speaker 1: feel it with your eys in the air, She'll love
Speaker 1: to the moo. I get there. Let's say good day
Speaker 1: and time did you and die out? Hello, Outweigh fam
Speaker 1: Lisa here, and today's a special episode because I received
Speaker 1: an email from well Amy and I received an email
Speaker 1: from a listener. Her name is Teresa, so this one
Speaker 1: goes out to Teresa. Teresa says, good evening. I'm an
Speaker 1: avid listener to Outweigh, and I've learned so much from
Speaker 1: each episode. I've been on my own journey of recovery
Speaker 1: from disordered eating, and I'm proud of myself for the
Speaker 1: steps I've taken. It's very hard and constant work. I'm
Speaker 1: reaching out because I noticed a red flag in myself
Speaker 1: lately and I realized I need to put the extra
Speaker 1: energy back into my recovery to get back on track.
Speaker 1: I'm someone who developed and needing disorder later in life.
Speaker 1: So I think my story is unique in a few ways.
Speaker 1: So I'm shooting my shot to see if you have
Speaker 1: any time for a quick combo so I could ask
Speaker 1: some questions. Part of getting back on track is diving
Speaker 1: into recovery, exploration and learning more. I have a few
Speaker 1: questions that haven't necessarily been touched on any episode, and
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear your input. I've really looked up
Speaker 1: to you and your openness regarding disordered eating, and it's
Speaker 1: been helpful along my journey. I know you're busy and
Speaker 1: totally understand if you don't have time, but I wanted
Speaker 1: to take a shot. So again, thanks for a great
Speaker 1: podcast and for being such an encouraging voice. So Teresa
Speaker 1: submitted four questions. I'm going to go through each of them,
Speaker 1: starting with what to do when you slip into an
Speaker 1: unhealthy mindset. Will get into suggestions for what to do
Speaker 1: when you're going through a stressful event and you turn
Speaker 1: to food, how to respond to those negative thoughts that
Speaker 1: pop in, and how to tell the difference between listening
Speaker 1: to your body and being proud of yourself or being
Speaker 1: proud because of old habits. So I'll get into detail
Speaker 1: about each of those. I want to thank Teresa and
Speaker 1: all of you for seeing Amy and I as people
Speaker 1: that you can trust as your friends and coming to
Speaker 1: us for really advice, I know for me, you know,
Speaker 1: coming to me from my registered dietitian point of view
Speaker 1: or professional point of view, and maybe just coming to
Speaker 1: Amy to kind of just look up to her journey
Speaker 1: and watching it as it beautifully unfolds. So let's start
Speaker 1: with question number one. Teresa wrote, what should you do
Speaker 1: when you start to slip into unhealthy mindsets? And what
Speaker 1: are some of your techniques for resetting your mindset? Great question,
Speaker 1: and I think we're going to break this down into
Speaker 1: a few different things. So the first thing I always say,
Speaker 1: fork the noise is because you need to first be
Speaker 1: able to notice when you're not being your best self.
Speaker 1: And the best way to do that is to first
Speaker 1: recognize that your brain has been infiltrated, that it's in
Speaker 1: some sort of a fear mindset, that it is no
Speaker 1: longer you taking the best care of yourself, but rather
Speaker 1: you coming from this false sense of protection. Point. So
Speaker 1: the first thing you really need to start to do
Speaker 1: is to understand your body when your mindset is being unhealthy,
Speaker 1: and that might sound really weird, but your body is
Speaker 1: constantly sending you signals of when it's in fear. You
Speaker 1: might get a little bit of a hot flash or
Speaker 1: a jolt, or your stomach might tense up, or something
Speaker 1: else might tense up in your body. But I want
Speaker 1: you to start to get to know your body's reaction
Speaker 1: to fear because that sometimes precipitates what's happening in our mind,
Speaker 1: and it's really tangible when we can feel those changes
Speaker 1: in our body. Once we feel those changes in our body,
Speaker 1: we can recognize that we're no longer at baseline. So
Speaker 1: step one is to really get to know when you're
Speaker 1: being triggered. Then, and I want you to challenge yourself.
Speaker 1: So whatever that unhealthy mindset is telling you to do,
Speaker 1: I want you to do the opposite. Challenge yourself. If
Speaker 1: it's saying don't eat this food, eat that food, because
Speaker 1: you want to continue to neutralize that food, not allow
Speaker 1: it to build up on itself. The second thing I
Speaker 1: want to suggest is getting an accountability friend. So I
Speaker 1: actually had somebody say something triggering to me last night.
Speaker 1: I went to dinner with a friend and a mail
Speaker 1: came over to the table and he said something to
Speaker 1: me that he thought was being nice, but I found
Speaker 1: myself triggered. Now, for me, a triggering situation does not
Speaker 1: lead to action, so I did not think about, you know,
Speaker 1: monitoring my food intake or changing it in any way.
Speaker 1: But I did notice that I was affected by the
Speaker 1: comment that was said to me, and I felt kind
Speaker 1: of like out of my body for a moment. And
Speaker 1: as soon as I left the dinner, I texted one
Speaker 1: of my girlfriends and I was like, this just happened.
Speaker 1: And she then told me she's getting married soon, and
Speaker 1: she told me about all these comments she's been getting
Speaker 1: from people about you know, losing weight for the wedding
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. And I step back from that conversation,
Speaker 1: and then I returned to it, and I said, Oh,
Speaker 1: I just want to let you know if any of
Speaker 1: that stuff is ever coming up for you, you can
Speaker 1: always text me and we could, you know, talk it out.
Speaker 1: And I just know for me, having that safe place
Speaker 1: to text a friend and be like, can you believe
Speaker 1: this person said that to me really allowed me to
Speaker 1: get it out of my head and into the hands
Speaker 1: of somebody else who could hold space for me. And
Speaker 1: I was no longer negatively affected by it, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense. So have an accountability friend, have a safe
Speaker 1: person that you can say, oh, this just happened and
Speaker 1: I'm feeling really triggered. Maybe it's somebody that can give
Speaker 1: advice and talk you off the cliff, or maybe it's
Speaker 1: just somebody that you just said, Hey, when I'm going
Speaker 1: through it, can I just text you this and you
Speaker 1: don't need to actually respond, because sometimes we just need
Speaker 1: to get it out there. The third thing I want
Speaker 1: you to do is journal. So if you notice that
Speaker 1: you're slipping into an unhealthy mindset, I want you to
Speaker 1: grab a pen and a paper, and I want you
Speaker 1: to just let the ledgates open and just right because
Speaker 1: oftentimes when we are retracting to unhealthy mindset, older ways
Speaker 1: of being, or habits, it's because something else is going on,
Speaker 1: so it triggers are not necessarily obvious. So for me,
Speaker 1: the comment that was said to me was very surface
Speaker 1: and easy to understand why it took me there. But
Speaker 1: in other situations, you might find yourself going back to
Speaker 1: unhealthy ways because of less obvious things that are happening
Speaker 1: in your life. Maybe it's a loss of control in
Speaker 1: some other situations at work in your personal life and
Speaker 1: your romantic life. Maybe there's just some sort of disalignment
Speaker 1: or lack of alignment happening in your life that is
Speaker 1: kind of like an undercurrent, not obvious to you or
Speaker 1: the outside world. But if you start journaling, if you
Speaker 1: start letting it all out, going to be able to
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of it a lot more easily,
Speaker 1: and therefore the mindset is going to change as a result.
Speaker 1: The last piece of advice I want to give for
Speaker 1: this question is to do what I call emotional sifting.
Speaker 1: So I try to do this every morning, if not
Speaker 1: every few days, if not once a week. But emotional
Speaker 1: sifting is getting to the bottom of what's really going on,
Speaker 1: and most of us don't take time to kind of
Speaker 1: clear that clutter. We go through our days, we go
Speaker 1: to sleep, we wake up, we do it again. When
Speaker 1: you take time, whether it's meditation or just quiet time
Speaker 1: throughout the day, all that stuff that's kind of bubbling
Speaker 1: inside of you has a chance to come up and
Speaker 1: get air, and by getting to the bottom of it,
Speaker 1: you can really reset the foundation of your being. A
Speaker 1: lot of times when things are wrong, we grab a solution,
Speaker 1: but we don't make our way to what's causing the problem. Right,
Speaker 1: we don't get to the root. If your stomach hurts,
Speaker 1: you're likely to grab pepto bismol that will make the
Speaker 1: problem go away. But did you really get to the
Speaker 1: bottom of what was causing that stomach ache? Right? Instead,
Speaker 1: I want you to pull the roots out of what
Speaker 1: is going on in your life. So emotional sifting is
Speaker 1: taking time to sift through the emotions that we are
Speaker 1: pushing down one at a time, and I have found
Speaker 1: that it is an incredibly healthy way to keep your
Speaker 1: mindset healthy and really understand where things are coming from
Speaker 1: as they come up for you. So those are some
Speaker 1: things you can do when you start to slip into
Speaker 1: those unhealthy mindset. Challenge yourself eat that food, or do
Speaker 1: the opposite of the behavior that your mind is telling
Speaker 1: you not to do or to do. Get an accountability
Speaker 1: friend journal, and start your emotional sifting journey. But are
Speaker 1: some of your suggestions After going through a stressful event.
Speaker 1: During emotional and stressful times, I turned to food. I
Speaker 1: know that isn't necessarily unhealthy, but it often leads to
Speaker 1: binges for me. I'm trying to have better tools in
Speaker 1: my toolkit for being compassionate for myself during these times.
Speaker 1: Love at This person is on their journey of bringing
Speaker 1: compassion and recognizing that eating during stressful times isn't bad. However,
Speaker 1: she still does believe that eating food when stressful is
Speaker 1: bad right, doesn't want to believe that it sounds like
Speaker 1: but that is where she's at. And I did a
Speaker 1: whole webinar for free earlier this year on emotional eating,
Speaker 1: and the main theme is that in order to elevate
Speaker 1: our consciousness and know what to do, how to best
Speaker 1: take care of ourselves in that stressful state is to
Speaker 1: give ourselves permission to eat when we're emotional and stressed,
Speaker 1: and pair that with the idea that eating during these
Speaker 1: times is perfectly okay. When we are stressed. When we
Speaker 1: are emotional, we are activating a different part of our
Speaker 1: brain which is not as logical as being at baseline
Speaker 1: and being in our front seat, and our minds are
Speaker 1: very quickly hijacked to kind of move over to this
Speaker 1: other dimension. And once we're in that other dimension, and
Speaker 1: it's very hard to take care of ourselves in any
Speaker 1: way other than what is habit or what simply feels good,
Speaker 1: and food as we know feels good. Oftentimes the foods
Speaker 1: that we gravitate towards help us produce serotonin that feel
Speaker 1: good hormone. So you're not broken for gravitating towards food
Speaker 1: when it feels icky in your body. In fact, you're
Speaker 1: being your own best caretaker. Given that you were in
Speaker 1: the secondary dimension, you're in a really uncomfortable place, and
Speaker 1: you're just doing what you have to to swim out
Speaker 1: of the mud that you're stuck in. However, if we
Speaker 1: can bring ourselves back to the frontal cortex, the part
Speaker 1: of our brain that is logical, that you know makes sense,
Speaker 1: we can really say, Okay, what do I need right
Speaker 1: now to take the best care of myself? And sometimes
Speaker 1: the answer really is food, even in the absence of
Speaker 1: physical hunger. So food can be the best way to
Speaker 1: take care of ourselves. Eating, eating a lot, even a
Speaker 1: binge can be the healthy this thing that we do.
Speaker 1: So I want to repeat that again, a binge can
Speaker 1: be the healthiest thing that we do. And compared to
Speaker 1: a lot of other coping mechanisms, I really argue that
Speaker 1: it's a far more healthy coping mechanism than you know,
Speaker 1: things like drugs or alcohol or other self sabotaging things
Speaker 1: that could really put us in a dangerous situation. So
Speaker 1: I want to introduce you to what I call emotional
Speaker 1: eating and the five P action plan. This is where
Speaker 1: we really start to tackle emotional hunger as I call it,
Speaker 1: or emotional eating in a new way. So the five
Speaker 1: piece stand for pause, pry, pick, persevere, and process. So
Speaker 1: the first P is for pause. So when you start
Speaker 1: to feel stressed and you're turning towards food, can you pause?
Speaker 1: Oh it's so hard to do, trust me, I know,
Speaker 1: especially because we so badly want that pain away. But
Speaker 1: if you can step dead in your tracks, if you
Speaker 1: can breathe, take one inhale, one exhale, then you can
Speaker 1: recognize that there is an emotional and a chemical shift
Speaker 1: happening in your body. From that state, you can pry.
Speaker 1: You can look inward. You can ask yourself what's going on.
Speaker 1: Maybe you can label the emotion. I feel anxious, I
Speaker 1: feel stressed, I feel tired, I feel unhurt, I feel unappreciative.
Speaker 1: With that clarity, you can pick. You can pick your action.
Speaker 1: What do you need right now? Is it food or
Speaker 1: is it another resource? Resourcing means using your self care toolbox,
Speaker 1: looking within and looking at the coping strategies that you
Speaker 1: have to calm down. Is it going for a walk,
Speaker 1: breathing essential oils, giving yourself a hug, or is it
Speaker 1: eating and either of them. If we did that first step,
Speaker 1: which is really neutralizing the idea that eating food is bad,
Speaker 1: or eating food at a certain time or amount or
Speaker 1: a binge is bad, only then can we really know
Speaker 1: what we needed in that moment and give it to
Speaker 1: ourselves radically. So if you ate, we're going to move
Speaker 1: into that next p which is person fear, move on.
Speaker 1: There's no guilt because we made an active choice to eat.
Speaker 1: When we picked our action, we said, I feel stressed
Speaker 1: and food is going to help me right now. Yes,
Speaker 1: it won't solve my problems, but I am too activated
Speaker 1: right now to really use my other resources. I am
Speaker 1: too upset, and I need to feel a little bit
Speaker 1: of good before I can kind of get through what's
Speaker 1: really going on. So when we really pick, we're elevating
Speaker 1: consciousness and that is really the main difference between that
Speaker 1: and emotional eating as we know it, feeling stressed, finding ourselves,
Speaker 1: you know, knee deep in a bag of chips or
Speaker 1: chips and then granola, and then ice cream and then
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, where we're like, whoa, what just happened?
Speaker 1: Right when we pause, pry and pick, it says this
Speaker 1: is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna eat. There's no guilt,
Speaker 1: there's no feeling bad because we were doing it with
Speaker 1: the consciousness of this is what I'm going to do,
Speaker 1: which is completely completely different. So if you ate, you persevere,
Speaker 1: you move on, no guilt, you did it with awareness.
Speaker 1: And lastly, you're going to process. Once you're in that
Speaker 1: commerce state, can you take time to sit with the emotion,
Speaker 1: to sit with the stress and allow it to fully
Speaker 1: come up to the surface. Just because emotions feel badly
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that we need to get rid of them all.
Speaker 1: In fact, I truly believe that as humans we need
Speaker 1: to understand that difficult emotions and pain is part of
Speaker 1: our process. Sometimes even in the same cup, if you will,
Speaker 1: as the good feel so many things are bitter sweet,
Speaker 1: and allowing for pain I think is really critical to
Speaker 1: decreasing our suffering, if that makes any sense. Again, if
Speaker 1: we choose to eat, we've owned it, We've picked that
Speaker 1: I feel upset, I'm turning to food and that's a
Speaker 1: new shift. It's bringing cognition and awareness to the situation
Speaker 1: and we're not going to do so with guilt and
Speaker 1: shame and we're simply going to move on. And I
Speaker 1: also want to mention here that a lot of people
Speaker 1: talk about forgiveness after eating. I think that's something that
Speaker 1: we really need to move away from. And I want
Speaker 1: you to flag if you feel like I need to
Speaker 1: forgive myself for eating, because that's continuing to further the
Speaker 1: idea that what you did was bad and you should
Speaker 1: forgive yourself. Right, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't offer
Speaker 1: yourself forgiveness for other things. But I think around food
Speaker 1: and eating, it's a little bit too serious of a
Speaker 1: tone and it's making it into a much bigger deal
Speaker 1: and atonement process then it should be, which only further
Speaker 1: is the idea that what you did was good or bad. Again,
Speaker 1: with that raised awareness, following the five P action plan,
Speaker 1: I think you'll see that you have a really different experience.
Speaker 1: And by the way, anyone feel free to rewind take
Speaker 1: notes after everything that um I'm saying here If this
Speaker 1: resonates with you or you feel it could be helpful,
Speaker 1: but could be helpful, maybe not in this moment, but
Speaker 1: in a moment when you do need it. Next question
Speaker 1: is how do you respond to yourself when a negative
Speaker 1: thought pops in I'm doing much bad are at identifying
Speaker 1: those negative thoughts and not repeating them, But I still
Speaker 1: find myself looking in the mirror sometimes and thinking gross.
Speaker 1: What ideas do you have to responding to those negative thoughts?
Speaker 1: So I know for a lot of people, positive affirmations
Speaker 1: can be really grounding. Even starting your day looking in
Speaker 1: the mirror saying some positive things can be really helpful.
Speaker 1: I think for me, I like to say those things
Speaker 1: out loud. So if I'm if that thought pops into
Speaker 1: my head that says you look gross, you look blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah, I'll say it out loud,
Speaker 1: you look this. And it almost becomes comical to say
Speaker 1: it out loud, because would you say that to a friend?
Speaker 1: Saying it out loud, getting it outside of your head,
Speaker 1: even just within your you know, just you and the
Speaker 1: mirror talking to yourself really changes that. It really kind of,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, kind of lightens the mood. It's like,
Speaker 1: why would you say that to yourself? That's a ridiculous
Speaker 1: thing to say, and I might even turn it into
Speaker 1: a hug or a moment to soften into myself. I
Speaker 1: might even ask myself, would you speak that way to
Speaker 1: a friend? I might ask myself, what's really going on?
Speaker 1: Because a lot of the times when we look in
Speaker 1: the mirror and we see something back, we're having a
Speaker 1: bad body image day, it doesn't actually come from our body.
Speaker 1: It actually might come from a different feeling of unworthiness
Speaker 1: or a different feeling of insecurity. And I would find
Speaker 1: perspective with breath. I would take a breath in, I
Speaker 1: would zoom out for a second and say, okay, well,
Speaker 1: what about this is making me feel so fearful? What
Speaker 1: types of pressure am I putting on my body to
Speaker 1: look a certain way? What else do I offer to
Speaker 1: the world. Why am I falling prey to the idea
Speaker 1: that I need to have a six pack, or why
Speaker 1: do I believe that my body shouldn't have roles or
Speaker 1: whatever it is that's coming up for me that day,
Speaker 1: And start to kind of unpack and untangle that and
Speaker 1: and really questioned societal's expectations, societal's viewpoint of how we
Speaker 1: should be and recognized, Okay, you know what, I'm going
Speaker 1: to wear clothes that fit me today. I'm going to
Speaker 1: move my body in a way that feels good and
Speaker 1: really take your power back. So how do you respond
Speaker 1: to yourself when a negative thought pops in? Positive affirmations
Speaker 1: can be grounding. Say that thought out loud, turn it
Speaker 1: into a moment to hug yourself. Ask yourself, would you
Speaker 1: speak to a friend that way? Ask yourself what's really
Speaker 1: going on that day and find a little perspective does
Speaker 1: this really matter? Next question is how can I tell
Speaker 1: the difference between listening to my body and being proud
Speaker 1: of myself? Or am I proud of myself because of
Speaker 1: old habits. Sometimes at the end of the day, when
Speaker 1: I didn't have anything on my previous naughty list, I
Speaker 1: feel proud of myself, but I can't necessarily discern if
Speaker 1: that's because I listened to my body and I'm proud
Speaker 1: of that, or because I'm subconsciously still celebrating not eating
Speaker 1: bad foods. What Teresa is asking is if I don't
Speaker 1: have let's say her naughty food is chocolate. Right, If
Speaker 1: I don't have chocolate, I feel really proud of myself.
Speaker 1: But do I feel proud of myself because I honored
Speaker 1: that need. Or do I feel proud of myself because
Speaker 1: I went a day without having chocolate. So these are
Speaker 1: some of the mind games that come up frequently for people,
Speaker 1: especially as they're learning to listen to their body. And
Speaker 1: I think that pride and self righteousness really emit a
Speaker 1: different frequency in our body. So if you're feeling self
Speaker 1: righteous about it, like oh, I didn't have that food,
Speaker 1: and then the next day comes on and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't have that food again, and then the next
Speaker 1: day and you're like, three days I haven't had it,
Speaker 1: I should go five days. That sounds like it's self
Speaker 1: righteousness happening, and it's likely going to turn into a
Speaker 1: problem shortly thereafter. So what I want you to do,
Speaker 1: Teresa and our listeners is to come up with what
Speaker 1: that naughty list is right now, right what's on your
Speaker 1: bad food list? The foods you shouldn't have and today today,
Speaker 1: I want you to start neutralizing those foods, bringing them
Speaker 1: into your life even if you don't necessarily want them
Speaker 1: or crave them. So what do I mean by this?
Speaker 1: For me? French fries was this food that every time
Speaker 1: I ate them, I went bananas so I would either
Speaker 1: have all the French fries or none of the French fries.
Speaker 1: And that was just kind of how it went back
Speaker 1: and forth for me. And I started to neutralize French
Speaker 1: fries by ordering them even if I didn't really want them,
Speaker 1: and eating them even if I didn't really want them.
Speaker 1: And you might say, why would you do that, you know,
Speaker 1: if you don't really want them, why would you have them?
Speaker 1: But by allowing myself to eat my salad or my
Speaker 1: sandwich and have a fry or two with it, even
Speaker 1: if I wasn't craving it, or it wasn't the weekend
Speaker 1: or even the evening, allowed me to just have a
Speaker 1: normal relationship to French fries. Take a look at your
Speaker 1: good and bad food list and start to break down
Speaker 1: and neutralize and challenge yourself with those foods that are
Speaker 1: on that list. So at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you can be proud that you ate the cake or
Speaker 1: that you didn't eat the cake, but that pride right.
Speaker 1: How to distinguish is it pride or am I am I?
Speaker 1: Restricting is to really ask yourself, what was the intent?
Speaker 1: Why did you not have it right? And really ask
Speaker 1: yourself to come from the place of I just didn't
Speaker 1: want it, or did it come from this place of
Speaker 1: I didn't want it and I really knew I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have it, So I didn't have it right because there's
Speaker 1: a restraint versus I just wasn't in the mood, or
Speaker 1: I wanted something else that was sweet, or I wanted salty,
Speaker 1: or I didn't even think about that food. So I think,
Speaker 1: ask yourself, why did you not eat it? Can be
Speaker 1: a helpful way to kind of uproot that and get
Speaker 1: to know what's really going on. And I think the
Speaker 1: whole point of this is to really recognize that if
Speaker 1: we're not constantly tackling these thoughts, if we allow ourselves
Speaker 1: to kind of subconsciously have these foods that we believe
Speaker 1: are naughty, they build up as restrictions, and even if
Speaker 1: you go a day or two where you don't eat them,
Speaker 1: eventually it piles over. You do eat them at some
Speaker 1: point and you go back to feeling badly about them.
Speaker 1: So I think this is really about neutralizing the food
Speaker 1: and getting to know your intent. So those were Teresa's
Speaker 1: questions that we answered on this episode. I hope it
Speaker 1: was helpful to hear from me. If you've got any
Speaker 1: other questions you could send in to Hello at outweigh
Speaker 1: podcast dot com and like I said, Amy and I
Speaker 1: do our best to read and respond to listener emails.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for being here. If you haven't rated
Speaker 1: and reviewed our podcast, please give us some stars and
Speaker 1: leave us a review would be so grateful. We'll see
Speaker 1: you next week. On that way,