WEBVTT - Breadcrumbin' Benjamin Franklin 0:00:08.245 --> 0:00:15.325 School of Humans. Oh hello, filth heads. Hope you all 0:00:15.405 --> 0:00:18.845 had a great New Year if you're someone who you know, 0:00:18.965 --> 0:00:22.645 subscribes to calendars in the passage of time. But also, 0:00:22.645 --> 0:00:24.645 I don't want to force that on anyone if you're 0:00:24.685 --> 0:00:30.485 like not into that. And I think it's the New Year, 0:00:30.525 --> 0:00:32.765 so we should start off with a bang. 0:00:34.085 --> 0:00:38.685 So who's better than bang in? Then Benjamin Franklin. 0:00:39.685 --> 0:00:42.965 That's right, we finally made it to old Benny boy 0:00:43.925 --> 0:00:44.965 and Benjamin Franklin. 0:00:45.205 --> 0:00:47.445 You know him? But do you do? 0:00:47.525 --> 0:00:49.685 You do we really know the founders? Also, does it 0:00:49.765 --> 0:00:52.165 even matter what they actually thought? Because we spend so 0:00:52.245 --> 0:00:56.965 much time interpretating, interpretating, interpreting who they were and what 0:00:57.005 --> 0:00:57.885 they were trying to do. 0:00:57.885 --> 0:01:00.125 That we forget that other things were happening. 0:01:00.245 --> 0:01:02.645 But you know what, I am just going to succumb 0:01:02.885 --> 0:01:07.125 yet again to the historical kind of I guess basic 0:01:07.205 --> 0:01:10.765 bitchness of talking about Benjamin Franklin. 0:01:10.325 --> 0:01:12.925 For today's episode. 0:01:13.725 --> 0:01:15.845 And I realized that I was actually kind of confused 0:01:15.845 --> 0:01:18.445 about him, which that's annoying. I thought he was like 0:01:18.485 --> 0:01:21.165 fucking around all the time, you know, and like had 0:01:21.245 --> 0:01:24.925 sex with a thousand French women as Flynn. 0:01:25.485 --> 0:01:28.805 But it might have not been that many. 0:01:29.605 --> 0:01:32.685 And also maybe it wasn't that at all, like some 0:01:33.285 --> 0:01:35.765 historians suggests that maybe he just liked the flirt and 0:01:35.805 --> 0:01:38.165 he didn't consummate that many of his relationships. 0:01:38.845 --> 0:01:39.765 You know, he wrote a lot. 0:01:39.845 --> 0:01:43.285 He wrote a lot of letters and essays and diaries 0:01:43.365 --> 0:01:46.245 and autobiographies and stuff. 0:01:46.405 --> 0:01:46.885 That's the thing. 0:01:47.205 --> 0:01:49.165 Maybe don't give a man a printing press, he's just 0:01:49.205 --> 0:01:53.805 gonna abuse it. And it definitely seems out with a 0:01:53.845 --> 0:01:55.685 lot of the stuff he wrote, he wrote it with 0:01:55.685 --> 0:01:58.045 the intention of someone wanting to read it, you know. 0:01:58.405 --> 0:02:00.885 And he never like explicitly was like me and these 0:02:00.925 --> 0:02:03.205 French broads be fucking oh. 0:02:03.165 --> 0:02:05.765 Moste Franklin, we are not actually fucking. 0:02:05.485 --> 0:02:11.725 I'm sorry, this accidents offensive all stop. Some historians argue 0:02:11.805 --> 0:02:14.845 that when he was like in France, he was older, 0:02:15.885 --> 0:02:18.245 so maybe he wasn't able to fuck as much, you know, 0:02:18.645 --> 0:02:22.925 And this Franklin biographer Paul Zahl described him as a 0:02:22.965 --> 0:02:27.045 foxy grandpa. He's like, yeah, he was just an old 0:02:27.085 --> 0:02:31.525 guy who liked to flirt, right, And sure, you could 0:02:31.525 --> 0:02:33.805 look at him as an old guy who liked to flirt. 0:02:34.245 --> 0:02:36.005 I mean you could also look at him as a 0:02:36.045 --> 0:02:40.765 serial sexual harasser. But whether or not, he was literally 0:02:40.845 --> 0:02:44.125 fucking people. It does seem that throughout his life he was. 0:02:44.085 --> 0:02:45.525 Horny af. 0:02:47.245 --> 0:02:50.965 Like I'm postulating that maybe he invented the lightning rod 0:02:51.085 --> 0:02:53.765 so he could like shock his balls or something, you know, 0:02:56.805 --> 0:03:02.805 my balls. In his widely popular autobiography, he does talk 0:03:02.845 --> 0:03:08.925 about his youthful self and being sexually provocative. He said, quote, 0:03:09.085 --> 0:03:12.245 this hard to be governed passion of my youth hurried 0:03:12.285 --> 0:03:16.245 me frequently into intrigue with such low women as spell 0:03:16.285 --> 0:03:16.885 in my way. 0:03:18.525 --> 0:03:20.885 Ps. I hate when low women fall in my way. 0:03:20.925 --> 0:03:21.765 It's so annoying. 0:03:22.245 --> 0:03:25.365 I might get out of the way low women anyway, 0:03:25.645 --> 0:03:30.205 these low women, which were attended with some expense and inconvenience, 0:03:30.325 --> 0:03:34.045 beside a continual risk to my health by a distemper, 0:03:34.165 --> 0:03:37.485 which of all things I dreaded, though by great good 0:03:37.605 --> 0:03:41.525 luck I escaped it. Basically, he's being like when I 0:03:41.565 --> 0:03:45.645 was young, I engaged with some prostitutes, and few I 0:03:45.725 --> 0:03:46.725 did not get syphilists. 0:03:47.045 --> 0:03:48.445 I am one lucky dog. 0:03:49.765 --> 0:03:52.325 But also I don't appreciate how he's painting himself as 0:03:52.365 --> 0:03:53.725 a victim here, like, Oh. 0:03:53.645 --> 0:03:55.645 No, the low women, they fell in my way. 0:03:56.125 --> 0:03:58.485 It was expensive and inconvenient, There was nothing I could 0:03:58.525 --> 0:04:03.125 do but have sex with them. But really, do you 0:04:03.125 --> 0:04:07.205 guys know what Benny Franklin was most horny for. He 0:04:07.405 --> 0:04:09.285 was horny for his work. 0:04:11.565 --> 0:04:12.165 That's right. 0:04:12.365 --> 0:04:16.725 He loved doing his job and writing stuff. You know, 0:04:16.765 --> 0:04:21.245 what are women compared to books and government? Yes that's 0:04:21.285 --> 0:04:25.125 a modified Jane Austen quote. Whatever, But obviously I do 0:04:25.205 --> 0:04:27.725 have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about Benjamin, 0:04:28.605 --> 0:04:32.325 about Benny boy, because while some people choose to remember 0:04:32.605 --> 0:04:37.365 Benjamin Franklin as this foxy grandpa haha, he he Benjamin 0:04:37.405 --> 0:04:40.725 Franklin actually had a wife and in my humble opinion, 0:04:41.085 --> 0:04:45.005 he treated her like absolute dog shit. So that's what 0:04:45.045 --> 0:04:48.845 we're talking about today, someone who rarely gets mentioned. I 0:04:48.885 --> 0:04:51.965 feel like when you hear about Benjamin Franklin, we're talking 0:04:52.005 --> 0:04:55.685 about his relationship with his wife. Here's a theme song. 0:05:01.525 --> 0:05:03.925 This is American Filth. I'm Gabby Watts. Every week I 0:05:04.005 --> 0:05:08.405 tell you a filthy story from American history. This week's 0:05:08.445 --> 0:05:29.205 episode bread crumbing Benjamin Franklin. You guys might be like, 0:05:29.205 --> 0:05:31.685 what the fuck does the title of this episode mean? Okay, 0:05:31.805 --> 0:05:35.005 so I think we're all familiar with ghosting. You know, 0:05:35.005 --> 0:05:39.325 it's where someone just erases their existence, stops responding to 0:05:39.365 --> 0:05:42.445 you after you've set some sort of precedent of connection 0:05:42.605 --> 0:05:44.685 with them. You know, they just don't show up, don't 0:05:44.685 --> 0:05:48.005 text back. I always like to personally assume they are dead, 0:05:48.485 --> 0:05:50.445 and then if I ever see them in public again, 0:05:50.485 --> 0:05:53.645 I fall to the floor weeping, wailing to God for 0:05:53.725 --> 0:05:56.885 this great miracle that they're still alive. Anyway, I'm a 0:05:56.885 --> 0:06:01.165 great person to know. But there's this other thing. It's 0:06:01.165 --> 0:06:06.405 called bread crumbing, where someone doesn't try to just ghost you, 0:06:07.085 --> 0:06:10.205 but basically they just like keep making promises to hang out, but. 0:06:10.165 --> 0:06:10.925 Then they never do. 0:06:12.125 --> 0:06:14.005 You know. It's like people who hold on to you 0:06:14.605 --> 0:06:17.565 and are relying on your emotional availability, but then they 0:06:17.605 --> 0:06:18.805 never fall through with it. 0:06:20.325 --> 0:06:21.365 That's bread crumbing. 0:06:21.565 --> 0:06:24.925 Okay, Now, imagine if someone did that to you, where 0:06:24.965 --> 0:06:27.845 someone kept promising to hang out but then never did. 0:06:28.725 --> 0:06:31.045 But instead of just doing this over a few weeks 0:06:31.125 --> 0:06:34.325 or months, it happened over the course of ten years, 0:06:35.525 --> 0:06:37.725 and the person doing it to you being like, yeah, 0:06:37.805 --> 0:06:40.565 I'll come back, I'll hang out soon. Is your husband, 0:06:40.805 --> 0:06:45.325 and your husband is Benjamin Franklin. That would suck, right, Well, 0:06:45.405 --> 0:06:49.205 that's exactly what he did. That's what annoys me. About him, 0:06:49.325 --> 0:06:50.685 but we're gonna get to that at the end of 0:06:50.725 --> 0:06:52.805 the episode. I also just don't think he treated her 0:06:52.885 --> 0:06:56.205 very well in general. So let's start kind of at 0:06:56.245 --> 0:06:59.725 the beginning of their love story, I suppose. So his 0:06:59.765 --> 0:07:02.925 wife was named Deborah Reid and Bennie Boy he called 0:07:02.925 --> 0:07:09.165 her Debbie, and technically they weren't actually married, but they 0:07:09.245 --> 0:07:11.925 lived as a married couple. It was essentially a common 0:07:12.005 --> 0:07:15.565 law marriage, so as you can surmise, the way that 0:07:15.605 --> 0:07:16.565 they got together. 0:07:16.405 --> 0:07:17.765 Was a bit topsy turvy. 0:07:19.045 --> 0:07:22.325 When Benny Boy was a younger dude about seventeen years 0:07:22.365 --> 0:07:25.285 old in seventeen twenty three, he was living in Philadelphia, 0:07:25.925 --> 0:07:28.725 you know, basically the Silicon Valley of the seventeen twenties 0:07:29.005 --> 0:07:31.765 because it had all of this hot tech, for example, 0:07:31.925 --> 0:07:37.845 the printing press. And the story goes, according to his autobiography, 0:07:37.925 --> 0:07:40.805 that one day he was walking around carrying some lobes 0:07:40.845 --> 0:07:45.325 of bread, one under each arm armpit bread, and then 0:07:45.405 --> 0:07:49.485 chomping down on a third. Debbie, a young lady, was 0:07:49.525 --> 0:07:52.765 standing outside her home's doorway on Marcus Street when she 0:07:52.845 --> 0:07:55.485 saw him, and she thought he looked so silly and 0:07:55.525 --> 0:07:58.565 weird but also endearing. It's like he's carrying all that 0:07:58.605 --> 0:08:00.165 bread and just like chomping down on one. 0:08:00.165 --> 0:08:00.925 That's so silly. 0:08:01.725 --> 0:08:05.485 She was, like, Benjamin Franklin, you have a most awkward, 0:08:05.725 --> 0:08:14.125 ridiculous appearance. But through a series of events, Benjamin Franklin 0:08:14.245 --> 0:08:17.765 actually became a border at Debbie's house and stayed there 0:08:17.765 --> 0:08:20.725 for about six months. And while he was there, they 0:08:20.765 --> 0:08:23.405 fell in love. Is that convenient just to have a 0:08:23.405 --> 0:08:27.045 boyfriend in your house? But the thing is, when Benny 0:08:27.125 --> 0:08:30.525 Boy proposed marriage in seventeen twenty four, Debbie's mom wouldn't 0:08:30.565 --> 0:08:33.685 let them get married because A he didn't seem very 0:08:33.685 --> 0:08:35.005 financially responsible. 0:08:35.565 --> 0:08:37.565 You know, he was basically a gig worker. 0:08:38.245 --> 0:08:41.885 And b he had recently been recruited by Pennsylvania's governor 0:08:41.925 --> 0:08:48.565 to go to London to run a printing house there. Anyway, 0:08:49.645 --> 0:08:53.965 Benny Boy left Philadelphia boohoo, and he and Debbie decide 0:08:54.005 --> 0:08:58.005 to postpone any short of marriage plans. But then while 0:08:58.005 --> 0:09:01.645 Benny Boy was in London, he realized that the Pennsylvanian 0:09:01.685 --> 0:09:05.165 government had basically swindled him. There's actually no equipment waiting 0:09:05.165 --> 0:09:07.005 for him in London so that he could run a 0:09:07.045 --> 0:09:09.285 printing house, and he also had no money for a 0:09:09.325 --> 0:09:14.765 return ticket. So Benny sent Debbie a letter basically breaking 0:09:14.845 --> 0:09:16.685 up with her, because at that point he had no 0:09:16.765 --> 0:09:20.965 plans to return to Philadelphia, and also he probably realized 0:09:20.965 --> 0:09:23.165 that her mom would not let them get married anyway, 0:09:23.245 --> 0:09:26.525 so instead of getting dumped, he was being proactive by 0:09:26.525 --> 0:09:32.165 being the dumper. Also, you know, he was still in 0:09:32.205 --> 0:09:35.245 his youth, horned up, ready to go, and he did 0:09:35.285 --> 0:09:38.725 tell someone later that he had actually just mostly forgotten 0:09:38.765 --> 0:09:41.485 about his engagement to Debbie when he had reached London. 0:09:47.525 --> 0:09:49.805 And Debbie was probably very sad about this whole situation. 0:09:50.325 --> 0:09:52.365 She always seemed to be a little bit more into 0:09:53.085 --> 0:09:57.525 Benjamin than he was into her. But also her mom 0:09:57.605 --> 0:09:59.765 was trying to look out for her best interest. You know, 0:10:00.725 --> 0:10:03.045 She's like, if you marry Benjamin Franklin, you're gonna be poor. 0:10:03.205 --> 0:10:07.405 Look at him, he's dumb, and obviously his situation improves. 0:10:07.485 --> 0:10:12.045 But at the time, so instead, Debbie's mom persuaded her 0:10:12.085 --> 0:10:15.485 to marry a potter named John Rogers, because that's a 0:10:15.485 --> 0:10:17.365 more stable job a seramacist. 0:10:19.405 --> 0:10:21.565 But John turned out to be a piece of shit nutjob. 0:10:22.205 --> 0:10:24.125 It turned out that he was actually already married to 0:10:24.125 --> 0:10:26.805 someone in England, and then he spent all of Debbie's 0:10:26.845 --> 0:10:31.005 dowry and then fled to the West Indies, where presumably 0:10:31.085 --> 0:10:33.605 he died. But the problem is that it was too 0:10:33.605 --> 0:10:35.765 expensive to try to prove that he was dead, so 0:10:35.885 --> 0:10:44.685 unfortunately Debbie had to stay married to that rat. Technically 0:10:44.845 --> 0:10:47.965 women could self divorce at this point, but the church 0:10:48.005 --> 0:10:52.165 wouldn't allow another marriage, and without him actually being declared dead, 0:10:52.845 --> 0:10:55.045 she couldn't be a free and fun and thirty widow. 0:10:55.645 --> 0:10:58.285 And that's why I never trust a man who's into pottery. 0:10:59.845 --> 0:11:00.205 Anyway. 0:11:00.285 --> 0:11:03.325 Benny Boy came back to Philadelphia in seventeen twenty six, 0:11:03.605 --> 0:11:06.005 and despite being tricked by the governor, he returned with 0:11:06.085 --> 0:11:09.445 lots of prospects and fortune ahead. He had a lot 0:11:09.485 --> 0:11:13.085 of good printing work in his future and newspapers to make. 0:11:16.165 --> 0:11:16.885 When he got back. 0:11:16.925 --> 0:11:20.045 He did see Debbie from time to time in social situations, 0:11:20.205 --> 0:11:23.685 but she was so embarrassed about her potter husband that 0:11:23.765 --> 0:11:26.085 she rarely went out and did social activities. 0:11:26.525 --> 0:11:27.885 Benny was like, damn, I. 0:11:27.805 --> 0:11:31.165 Feel bad for her and everything she's gone through, but 0:11:31.285 --> 0:11:32.765 also she tried to dump. 0:11:32.565 --> 0:11:37.205 Me boo Debbie. But aha, Debbie. 0:11:36.925 --> 0:11:39.245 Would not be the only one who committed a folly 0:11:39.365 --> 0:11:44.565 or two. So remember how Bennie Boy mentioned in his 0:11:44.605 --> 0:11:47.725 autobiography that he was really horny when he was young, Well, 0:11:47.765 --> 0:11:50.205 it seems like he was so horny that he accidentally 0:11:50.245 --> 0:11:51.045 fathered a son. 0:11:51.445 --> 0:11:52.045 Whoopsies. 0:11:53.165 --> 0:11:56.205 He either met a low woman or another lady and 0:11:56.605 --> 0:11:58.725 made a kummi wami inside of her and made a baby. 0:11:58.845 --> 0:11:59.485 Whoopsies. 0:12:01.485 --> 0:12:04.165 But Benny he decided to be a nice guy, and 0:12:04.205 --> 0:12:07.285 when the baby boy was born, he took the child 0:12:07.325 --> 0:12:09.565 to raise. He was like, I shall raise his son 0:12:09.605 --> 0:12:12.005 as a proper good boy. And to this day no 0:12:12.005 --> 0:12:14.725 one knows who the mother was and why you know 0:12:14.805 --> 0:12:17.925 he couldn't marry her and be with her. But the 0:12:17.965 --> 0:12:20.845 thing is, Benjamin Franklin taking the kid. That was a rare, 0:12:21.085 --> 0:12:24.845 unprecedented act for its time. Usually they would just leave 0:12:24.845 --> 0:12:29.525 the bastards behind. But the thing is, then Benny Boy 0:12:29.685 --> 0:12:33.125 was a bit in a predicament because he was like, 0:12:33.165 --> 0:12:35.085 I cannot raise a child on my own. I am 0:12:35.125 --> 0:12:38.005 important and I am a man. That would be ridiculous. 0:12:38.285 --> 0:12:41.125 I need some lady to raise this child. But what 0:12:41.285 --> 0:12:44.445 good lady in her right mind would raise someone else's child. 0:12:44.685 --> 0:12:47.125 I would need a woman who has no other prospects, 0:12:47.445 --> 0:12:50.885 whose dowry has been squandered by someone else who died 0:12:50.885 --> 0:12:53.965 in the West Indies and someone who likes me enough 0:12:54.005 --> 0:12:57.645 to raise my bastard. Oh my god, how convenient, I'll 0:12:57.645 --> 0:13:03.725 ask sad ass Debbie. So, even though Debbie couldn't technically 0:13:03.725 --> 0:13:06.645 get married, she and Bennie Boy agreed to a common 0:13:06.725 --> 0:13:10.365 law marriage. On September first, seventeen thirty, she moved into 0:13:10.405 --> 0:13:13.365 his house and became the mother to his bastard, who, 0:13:13.445 --> 0:13:14.565 by the way, also had a name. 0:13:14.645 --> 0:13:17.965 His name was William. And the thing is Bennie and Debbie. 0:13:18.005 --> 0:13:20.365 They had a very long marriage, and it does seem 0:13:20.445 --> 0:13:23.085 that for much of the marriage they had a perfectly 0:13:23.205 --> 0:13:27.005 fine relationship. But at the same time it doesn't seem 0:13:27.005 --> 0:13:31.365 that Bennie was actually that into her sexually. They did 0:13:31.405 --> 0:13:34.325 have two kids together, a boy named Francis who died 0:13:34.365 --> 0:13:37.085 of smallpox at a very young age, and then after 0:13:37.165 --> 0:13:42.325 Francis died, they had Sarah. But Bennie Boy described Debbie 0:13:42.405 --> 0:13:45.285 pretty disparagingly in a lot of his letters. For example, 0:13:45.285 --> 0:13:49.525 he compared her body to a beer mug. I mean, 0:13:49.565 --> 0:13:53.405 not the hottest form, I guess. And then there's this 0:13:53.445 --> 0:13:56.845 account of one of Benjamin Franklin's friends coming over, and 0:13:56.885 --> 0:13:59.525 Debbie was like on the floor wailing and yelling at. 0:13:59.445 --> 0:14:01.925 Him, Fuck you, Benjamin Franklin. 0:14:02.645 --> 0:14:06.405 So obviously it was not a perfectly harmonious situation in 0:14:06.445 --> 0:14:08.965 their household. I mean, also, being a woman at the 0:14:08.965 --> 0:14:11.645 time probably sucked because you just had to raise children 0:14:11.725 --> 0:14:17.365 and shit, which sounds boring as fuck, no offense. I mean, 0:14:17.485 --> 0:14:20.125 on the one hand, this marriage was awesome for Debbie, 0:14:20.165 --> 0:14:24.205 she didn't really have any other choice, but also it 0:14:24.325 --> 0:14:27.205 seems that she got a little stressed out because of 0:14:27.205 --> 0:14:32.525 Benjamin Franklin. But we know from Benjamin Franklin's perspective that 0:14:32.565 --> 0:14:35.965 the marriage was good for him because it tempered his 0:14:36.205 --> 0:14:40.085 horned upness. He wrote a very silly essay in the 0:14:40.125 --> 0:14:42.845 form of a letter in seventeen forty seven called a 0:14:42.965 --> 0:14:46.925 Letter on Marriage. Another title of this essay is Advice 0:14:47.005 --> 0:14:49.085 to a young Man on the choice of a Mistress. 0:14:50.085 --> 0:14:52.485 It's basically addressing a man who is not interested in 0:14:52.485 --> 0:14:54.965 getting married, and the gist of it is Franklin is 0:14:54.965 --> 0:14:56.885 trying to be like, no, marriage is good, you gotta 0:14:56.965 --> 0:14:57.485 do it. 0:14:57.765 --> 0:15:00.045 But he says, if you don't get married and you 0:15:00.085 --> 0:15:00.605 still want to. 0:15:00.525 --> 0:15:04.125 Fuck around, I really recommend you get a mistress who 0:15:04.165 --> 0:15:07.125 is older than you. That's right, Find you a cougar, 0:15:07.245 --> 0:15:12.525 find you a milf, because they are better mistresses. And 0:15:12.565 --> 0:15:14.725 I wanted to share some of this essay in the 0:15:14.765 --> 0:15:18.725 episode because yeah, it's a satire, Yeah it's comedy, but 0:15:18.965 --> 0:15:22.325 I feel like there's probably some truth about how Benjamin 0:15:22.325 --> 0:15:26.245 Franklin felt about marriage in it. And I'm not actually 0:15:26.245 --> 0:15:29.405 gonna read the letter myself, okay. One reviewer of this 0:15:29.485 --> 0:15:31.605 show said, I sound like a nervous twelve year old 0:15:31.645 --> 0:15:35.165 boy giving a book report in an aggressive monotone, which, 0:15:35.245 --> 0:15:38.205 while you might think it's a criticism, is actually just accurate. 0:15:38.885 --> 0:15:41.245 So I'm getting my boyfriend to read it. Yeah, sorry, 0:15:41.245 --> 0:15:45.725 boys and girls, I have a boyfriend. Okay, I need 0:15:45.805 --> 0:15:49.005 you to sound like you are Benjamin Franklin. 0:15:49.125 --> 0:15:55.045 Can you do it? I'm Benjamin. No, that's too much. 0:15:56.405 --> 0:15:58.045 Just read the fucking letter. 0:15:57.805 --> 0:16:04.525 Thing, my dear friend. I know of no medicine fit 0:16:04.565 --> 0:16:07.885 to diminish the violence natural inclinations you mention, and if 0:16:07.925 --> 0:16:09.885 I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. 0:16:10.605 --> 0:16:13.245 Marriage is the proper remedy. It is the most natural 0:16:13.285 --> 0:16:15.205 state of man, and therefore the state in which you 0:16:15.245 --> 0:16:18.965 are most likely to find solid happiness. Your reasons against 0:16:19.045 --> 0:16:21.725 entering into it at present appear to me not well founded. 0:16:22.325 --> 0:16:25.565 The circumstantial advantages you have in view by postponing it 0:16:25.685 --> 0:16:28.605 are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison 0:16:28.645 --> 0:16:31.885 with that of the thing itself, the being married and settled. 0:16:32.885 --> 0:16:34.805 It is the man and woman united that make the 0:16:34.845 --> 0:16:38.205 complete human being separate. She wants his force of body 0:16:38.245 --> 0:16:43.005 and strength of reason, he her softness, sensibility, and acute discernment. 0:16:43.485 --> 0:16:45.805 Together they are more likely to succeed in the world. 0:16:46.685 --> 0:16:49.165 A single man has not nearly the value he would 0:16:49.165 --> 0:16:52.125 have in that state of union. He is an incomplete animal. 0:16:52.445 --> 0:16:54.805 He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors. 0:16:55.645 --> 0:16:58.365 If you get a prudent, healthy wife, your industry and 0:16:58.405 --> 0:17:01.805 your profession with her good economy will be a fortune sufficient. 0:17:07.725 --> 0:17:10.085 Okay, so that's the wife part of the essay. The 0:17:10.125 --> 0:17:13.445 next part is the milf part, which is and it's 0:17:13.485 --> 0:17:16.085 not really necessary for this episode, but I will have 0:17:16.165 --> 0:17:17.765 my boyfriend read the rest of it at the end 0:17:17.805 --> 0:17:23.285 of the episode because it's very funny. But the annoying 0:17:23.285 --> 0:17:26.725 thing about this marriage part is that he says that 0:17:26.805 --> 0:17:29.645 marriage will make you more successful in the world. He says, 0:17:29.685 --> 0:17:32.405 it makes you a more complete human. You know, together 0:17:33.285 --> 0:17:38.165 you will succeed in the world. But in the later 0:17:38.205 --> 0:17:42.925 part of their marriage, Benjamin Franklin basically leaves Debbie all 0:17:42.965 --> 0:17:45.245 alone for two decades. 0:17:45.885 --> 0:17:48.365 Okay, we'll be right back after these soothing advertisements. 0:17:51.725 --> 0:17:56.605 So in seventeen thirty six, Debor Reid and Benjamin Franklin's son, Francis, 0:17:56.725 --> 0:18:01.005 died of smallpox, which is surprising because Benjamin Franklin was 0:18:01.045 --> 0:18:06.165 a huge proponent of this new thing called inoculation, Like, 0:18:06.205 --> 0:18:08.805 why had he not inoculated his son if he was 0:18:08.845 --> 0:18:12.165 so into it. Some people think that maybe Francis was 0:18:12.205 --> 0:18:14.165 already sick as fuck by the time they could have 0:18:14.165 --> 0:18:17.885 inoculated him. But some other people think that maybe Debbie 0:18:17.925 --> 0:18:21.285 prevented it from happening, and then Benjamin Franklin held that 0:18:21.405 --> 0:18:25.085 against her for the rest of their marriage and over 0:18:25.165 --> 0:18:29.085 decades of being married. Maybe this resentment and bitterness built 0:18:29.165 --> 0:18:31.085 up until he just didn't really want to have much 0:18:31.085 --> 0:18:33.605 to do with her, Or maybe he was just I 0:18:33.605 --> 0:18:37.725 don't know, too preoccupied with the us being independent or 0:18:37.765 --> 0:18:38.445 whatever the fuck. 0:18:38.525 --> 0:18:38.965 I don't know. 0:18:40.805 --> 0:18:47.725 I can't go back in time. I can't ask him. 0:18:47.845 --> 0:18:50.885 So basically, for two decades, starting in the seventeen fifties, 0:18:50.925 --> 0:18:53.685 Benjamin Franklin spent most of his time in England, and 0:18:53.765 --> 0:18:57.805 while he was there, Debbie was not. In his defense, 0:18:57.885 --> 0:19:00.445 Benny Boy had asked Debbie to come along to London, 0:19:00.525 --> 0:19:02.965 but she refused. She was terrified of the ocean and 0:19:03.005 --> 0:19:05.805 traveling by boat. I mean, why would you not. The 0:19:05.845 --> 0:19:08.885 bottom of the ocean is heinous. I mean they didn't 0:19:08.885 --> 0:19:11.045 even know what it looked like back then, but Debbie 0:19:11.085 --> 0:19:14.805 maybe got a sense about all those creepy things at 0:19:14.805 --> 0:19:19.445 the bottom. So he headed over there in seventeen fifty seven, 0:19:20.165 --> 0:19:23.845 and that's when all the bread crumbing began. So when 0:19:23.845 --> 0:19:26.005 he left, he was like, yeah, I'll be home soon. 0:19:26.405 --> 0:19:30.205 But then he didn't come back for five years. Then 0:19:30.245 --> 0:19:31.605 he was home for a little bit, and then he 0:19:31.685 --> 0:19:36.805 left again, and then he wasn't back for what ten years, 0:19:37.525 --> 0:19:39.885 And here's the pattern that would happen. He would send 0:19:40.005 --> 0:19:42.245 letters and he'd be like, oh, yeah, I'll be back 0:19:42.285 --> 0:19:43.525 in a few months. I'll be back at the end 0:19:43.565 --> 0:19:46.485 of spring. And then spring would come around and then 0:19:46.525 --> 0:19:48.405 he'd be like, well, just kidding, maybe I'll come back 0:19:48.565 --> 0:19:50.965 at the end of fall or something, or maybe I'll 0:19:50.965 --> 0:19:52.725 come back in the winter, but actually now the ocean 0:19:52.765 --> 0:19:56.205 it's too cold. I don't want to go now, so 0:19:56.205 --> 0:20:00.965 maybe next year. And he kept doing this. Also just 0:20:01.005 --> 0:20:04.205 seems that Benjamin Franklin wasn't really communicating. 0:20:03.605 --> 0:20:04.845 With Debbie very well. 0:20:04.885 --> 0:20:06.885 Like the second time he was over in London, the 0:20:06.925 --> 0:20:10.245 one where he'd be gone for ten years, Debbie sent 0:20:10.325 --> 0:20:13.085 him a letter where she said, oh, I have been 0:20:13.125 --> 0:20:15.565 so happy as to receive several of your dear letters 0:20:15.565 --> 0:20:18.925 within these few days. She said that she had been 0:20:18.925 --> 0:20:21.245 reading it over and over again and quote, I call 0:20:21.325 --> 0:20:24.525 it a husband's love letter, but really she might have 0:20:24.565 --> 0:20:26.605 been saying that to be a bit manipulative. She was like, Oh, 0:20:26.685 --> 0:20:28.245 my god, that's so nice of you to write me. 0:20:28.325 --> 0:20:31.165 How nice of you to remember that I exist, the 0:20:31.205 --> 0:20:33.405 woman who bore two of your children and also raised 0:20:33.445 --> 0:20:36.445 your friggin bastard. What a kindness that you would deign 0:20:36.525 --> 0:20:39.525 to write to me. Also, when you left back in February, 0:20:39.605 --> 0:20:41.005 you said you'd be gone a few months, and now 0:20:41.005 --> 0:20:44.125 it's freaking October and you're not telling me when you're 0:20:44.165 --> 0:20:49.125 gonna come back. And here's the crazier thing about this, 0:20:49.405 --> 0:20:51.125 so he kept doing that thing where he was like, yeah, 0:20:51.125 --> 0:20:52.485 I'll come back with then he wouldn't. 0:20:53.725 --> 0:20:56.125 But the thing is, do you know what happened? 0:20:56.565 --> 0:21:02.085 In seventeen sixty nine, Debbie had a stroke, and even 0:21:02.125 --> 0:21:05.005 after that, Benjamin Franklin did not come home. 0:21:06.485 --> 0:21:07.405 She kept asking him. 0:21:07.405 --> 0:21:09.285 She was like, Babe, I'm sorry to bother you, but 0:21:09.485 --> 0:21:11.445 when might you perchance be coming home? 0:21:11.725 --> 0:21:13.605 I had a stroke, kay almost. 0:21:13.245 --> 0:21:16.365 Died And at this point, even after her fucking stroke, 0:21:16.405 --> 0:21:18.885 he was just ignoring her. He didn't offer her any 0:21:18.885 --> 0:21:21.445 clarity on when he would come back until July seventeen 0:21:21.485 --> 0:21:24.165 seventy one. He was basically like, yeah, I'll be here 0:21:24.165 --> 0:21:26.885 for one more winter and then I'll come home. But then, 0:21:27.205 --> 0:21:30.085 guess what, he postponed it again, and then many more times, 0:21:30.885 --> 0:21:34.005 and then it was seventeen seventy four, and that year 0:21:34.045 --> 0:21:36.805 again twice he said he'd return and didn't. 0:21:38.045 --> 0:21:38.645 And then in. 0:21:38.605 --> 0:21:42.325 December of seventeen seventy four, Debbie had another. 0:21:42.085 --> 0:21:44.605 Stroke and she died. 0:21:47.285 --> 0:21:49.725 So yeah, basically there was like a five year period 0:21:49.725 --> 0:21:51.845 in which she had a stroke, he didn't come back, 0:21:51.885 --> 0:21:55.205 and then she had a stroke and died, and yeah, sure, 0:21:55.325 --> 0:21:57.565 during this time there was a lot of important shit 0:21:57.685 --> 0:22:00.645 going down, like a revolution was about to start. But whatever, 0:22:00.805 --> 0:22:05.645 I still don't like it. Fuck you, Benjamin Franklin. And 0:22:05.685 --> 0:22:07.925 can you guys believe that that even after she died, 0:22:08.485 --> 0:22:13.205 Benjamin Franklin, her husband, he didn't feel compelled to immediately 0:22:13.245 --> 0:22:15.965 come home, you know, to like go to Philadelphia and 0:22:16.325 --> 0:22:19.005 help with funeral stuff and say goodbye to her before 0:22:19.045 --> 0:22:19.285 she was. 0:22:19.285 --> 0:22:20.645 Put in the ground. No, no, no, no. 0:22:20.765 --> 0:22:23.845 He didn't come back to Philadelphia until the following year, 0:22:24.085 --> 0:22:28.605 May seventeen seventy five, at which point the American Revolution 0:22:28.685 --> 0:22:32.845