WEBVTT - BONUS: Best or Worst First Dates

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<v Speaker 1>What's funny, Jessica, I'm not gonna tell you and tell

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<v Speaker 1>you it out loud.

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<v Speaker 2>It will be my first one I read. But that's

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<v Speaker 2>a funny one.

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<v Speaker 1>I love it because we are back with a bonus

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<v Speaker 1>episode and today our theme is what is it.

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<v Speaker 2>Just worst best or worst first date?

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<v Speaker 1>Best slash worst first date? Va boo. Okay, so we

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<v Speaker 1>had our regular episode that we were recording and producer John,

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<v Speaker 1>who's fantastic at getting us the news in a timely manner,

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<v Speaker 1>headlines for days and I didn't realize that he attempted

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<v Speaker 1>to save a tree by using one piece of paper.

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<v Speaker 1>So I don't want some of these headlines to go

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<v Speaker 1>to waste, Jessica, would you like to read these before

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<v Speaker 1>we move on to the theme?

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, you guys are so lucky getting these in the

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<v Speaker 2>bonus episode. Okay, so everyday food snacks facing ban because

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<v Speaker 2>of cancer causing agents. You guys, I think this is

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<v Speaker 2>going to be coming out more and more. Let's read them?

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<v Speaker 2>Should we read them?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? Sorry, sorry to these brands. Lucky Charms, Yellow six

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<v Speaker 2>linked to adrenal tumors and rats. Oh yump oreos you guys.

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<v Speaker 2>Blue one concerns could cause kidney tumors and damage nerve cells.

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<v Speaker 2>Flame and hot Cheetos, you guys, Yellow five and six

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<v Speaker 2>can cause DNA mutations and white blood cells. Gatorade food

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<v Speaker 2>dyes linked to cancer and hyperactivity, fruit loops, Skittles, nerds, eminams,

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<v Speaker 2>no sweetish fish, dorritos. Uh. California has already banned certain dyes.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me tell you something. You'd be shocked at the

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<v Speaker 2>things other countries don't allow that we have here.

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<v Speaker 1>I know I'm gonna start looking that up so that

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<v Speaker 1>I can how.

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<v Speaker 3>Many oreos do I need to eat?

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<v Speaker 2>That's exactly start exactly about fully.

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<v Speaker 3>With you twenty a year.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I had

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<v Speaker 1>any of these things. And honestly, the only thing with

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<v Speaker 1>Gatory that I can think of his water boyd was

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<v Speaker 1>like gay and he's like, chuose it on the field,

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<v Speaker 1>so he pictures the quarterback being like gated rat water.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you say?

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<v Speaker 3>Water gate read is better? And fucking.

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<v Speaker 1>He loses his mind on the field because someone said

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<v Speaker 1>that water sucks.

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<v Speaker 4>It's way better, not that playing foods.

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<v Speaker 1>Construction has begun on high speed rail between Socoal and Vegas.

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<v Speaker 2>That's huge. That is huge.

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<v Speaker 1>That's huge. I'll be taking to get that big old

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<v Speaker 1>dick soon.

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<v Speaker 3>You get taken it to go to those strip clubs.

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<v Speaker 3>Give me some.

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<v Speaker 1>You lovee Rhino, We love it Rhino.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that the one with the steaks?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think one that's known for steaks or something.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I just go to the ones that are known

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<v Speaker 3>for like magic. You got to go the other way salmon. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>you guys Tatar.

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<v Speaker 2>The trains will offer restrooms, Wi Fi food and BEV

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<v Speaker 2>sales and the option to check luggage. Here's my question.

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<v Speaker 2>Do we have it on here? How long will it take?

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<v Speaker 3>That's what I need to Is it like you gotta be.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, y'all, we're on a high speed rail. We're we're

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<v Speaker 1>getting railed at the highest degree.

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<v Speaker 2>Producer John has it literally on the second bullet. The

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<v Speaker 2>fully electric train will take just over two hours each way,

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<v Speaker 2>but you don't have to drive.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I kind of think it's worth it two hours.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess two hours.

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<v Speaker 1>It takes it takes four to get there with out. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll take the speed rail for sure. Think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>You could jump on that to go to your freaking

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<v Speaker 1>mosh pit. Music fest.

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<v Speaker 3>If they were about it, they put a strip club

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<v Speaker 3>on the.

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<v Speaker 1>Lady, we've got to get Yeah, have you go to

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<v Speaker 1>a sex party of sorts? That that sounds a little

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<v Speaker 1>dark and then dark?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I've heard in l A they're like very They're

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<v Speaker 2>they're like fun. It's just like they'll do like pool parties,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's like topless pool parties.

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<v Speaker 3>But can I keep my clothes on?

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<v Speaker 2>I get a little, but yeah, you can a little,

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<v Speaker 2>but you can, of course keep in mind the option

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<v Speaker 2>to be naked and then some people, you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>think that sounds fun. You should go.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't love that much. Work, a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>Horrible and the most vulnerable position you could ever.

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<v Speaker 3>I can only imagine a one night stand. Sober?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you sober?

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, I'm not going to get into it. Worse, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not going to get into it because you're my brother.

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<v Speaker 1>Jessica knows the dawn. Yes, sober, Yes, one night or

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<v Speaker 1>that led to others?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh so it wasn't that bad for you?

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<v Speaker 2>No, it was amazing that bad.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never had better when you were sober.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, but that's not a one night stand.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, because why would it be one night if it's

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<v Speaker 1>so good you want to come back for more. Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>I bet it was because you were way more in

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<v Speaker 2>your body and you're old. You're like older now than

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<v Speaker 2>when you were drinking, so you were just like appreciating it.

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<v Speaker 1>That had me discombobulated. What after the dawn? I could

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<v Speaker 1>not get my mind off of it.

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<v Speaker 2>The dick had you discombobulated.

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<v Speaker 1>Dick combobulated, Dick combobulated. One. The other thing that I

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<v Speaker 1>want to say, Easton, there has to be a day

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<v Speaker 1>when some time has passed where we talk about Mom's

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<v Speaker 1>friend and all of her funny story.

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<v Speaker 2>We have to I don't even know what that's.

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<v Speaker 1>She might I'm going to ask her. Her stories are

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<v Speaker 1>fucking hilarious.

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<v Speaker 3>She's invited to all family trips, all families.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even care, just like hookup stories or something.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, she's.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, she has a bag of fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Travis Barker wishes his wife Courtney Kardashian never heard of

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<v Speaker 1>her a happy birthday. Just kidding. The Drummer shared a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of photos on Instagram wishing court forty fifth birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>Happy forty fifth birthday. Damn, and she just gave birth

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<v Speaker 1>to a baby. Happy birthday. To my beautiful wife Stule,

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<v Speaker 1>me and best friend forever. I love you, I love

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<v Speaker 1>our life together.

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<v Speaker 2>That will end, that will end.

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<v Speaker 3>You're too famous for.

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<v Speaker 1>One picture that everyone's attention with her smiling, with her

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<v Speaker 1>hair slicked back in a black dress and was pulled

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<v Speaker 1>up as she used the bathrooms.

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<v Speaker 2>So silly. They're kind of fun. They are fun. And

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<v Speaker 2>that the sweet baby boy. I've only seen him from

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<v Speaker 2>the back, but he looks so cool.

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<v Speaker 1>What is his name again, Roco or something that's so cute.

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<v Speaker 1>Costco customer going viral. A man is going viral shopping

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<v Speaker 1>at Costco and having the cashier scan the bar code

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<v Speaker 1>on his T shirt and not the chickens he was buying,

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<v Speaker 1>so they were exposed.

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<v Speaker 2>So they weren't exposed.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't understand.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, so he had a giant bar code on his

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<v Speaker 4>shirt and it was like the bar code is four chickens,

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<v Speaker 4>but like, know how you have to scan the chicken

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<v Speaker 4>with the led it's like on the chicken.

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<v Speaker 3>So he was like, I got four chickens, just scan

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<v Speaker 3>my shirt four times.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, here's so they weren't exposed to red led light.

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<v Speaker 3>But his heart is that's what's great.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the funny jokes. All the comments I've been seeing,

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<v Speaker 2>they're like, well, he's so concerned about the.

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<v Speaker 4>Chickens, why is he concerned about his own It's instead

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<v Speaker 4>of wearing the shirt, just like put it on a

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<v Speaker 4>piece of paper and go, will you scan this piece

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<v Speaker 4>of paper with the fortunes?

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<v Speaker 2>Thought he was doing something.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, no, he just instead we're dead.

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<v Speaker 1>They're not feeling ship. Well, you should have protected them

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<v Speaker 1>before they were.

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<v Speaker 3>Beheaded, but you didn't want to put that led chicken

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<v Speaker 3>into his body.

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<v Speaker 1>Fine, honey, we're all eating lucky terms and oreos before

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<v Speaker 1>we consume.

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<v Speaker 2>A worn that I you know, I have you guys, ever,

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<v Speaker 2>just all they need to.

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<v Speaker 1>Do is switch up the five and six? Ain't that hard?

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<v Speaker 4>They like, there's no red, there's no red dye. If

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<v Speaker 4>you get flaming hot cheetos, bat.

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<v Speaker 3>It's just yellow.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, it's discussed.

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<v Speaker 3>Ye, the red dye is what's given it to us.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it's it's all horrific. But have you guys really quick?

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<v Speaker 2>A good snack that obviously causes cancer. But you take

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<v Speaker 2>a pickle. I've seen it on TikTok. You take a pickle,

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<v Speaker 2>giant pickle. You cut it up in pickle slices. You

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<v Speaker 2>crush flaming hot cheetos, then you put the slices in

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<v Speaker 2>the bag and you shake it up and it's like

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<v Speaker 2>a It's like a cheeto covered pickle. And apparently I

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<v Speaker 2>haven't tried it because I don't really eat those foods,

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<v Speaker 2>but it looks so.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't because I cannot hide.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you want to know?

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<v Speaker 4>It's better flaming hot cheetos with nacho cheese on them

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<v Speaker 4>in the bag and then.

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<v Speaker 1>You and that's going to be added to the list.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's that sounds really bad.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, nothing slaps harder than a freaking spray

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<v Speaker 1>cheese on rich cracker or anyone or like what are

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<v Speaker 1>those called the ones that Ocean likes. They're kind of

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<v Speaker 1>like straw.

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<v Speaker 3>Trisk it trisk I love a good.

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<v Speaker 2>Trisk aren't too bad for you? I don't think.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, best slash worst date Easton you go first?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, let's hear it.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have a best I mean I've never really

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<v Speaker 1>gone on a lot of dates.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean the good date I mean was with my

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<v Speaker 4>ex girlfriend the first day we went on.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just no, even if it was simple. Did

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<v Speaker 2>you guys get a dinner.

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<v Speaker 4>The we went to us because we started dating like October,

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<v Speaker 4>so it was around Halloween. So like we went to uh,

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<v Speaker 4>like a hunted house.

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<v Speaker 3>Was that her first thing?

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<v Speaker 2>And he hands through it?

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<v Speaker 3>I held her.

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<v Speaker 5>Behind, Yeah, walking through best date and then we went

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<v Speaker 5>to this step after the worst date was the girl

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<v Speaker 5>who I went on the date with and driving her

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<v Speaker 5>home and it was really windy in the car and

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<v Speaker 5>I go, it's windy.

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<v Speaker 3>She rolls down the window going eighty miles an hour

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<v Speaker 3>and goes, that's an icon.

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<v Speaker 4>That was the worst day because that just ended it

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<v Speaker 4>for me, and I was like, oh, no, you never

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<v Speaker 4>anyone again?

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<v Speaker 1>Did Mom ever tell you about her worst date? Where

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<v Speaker 1>the guy picks her up and he like comes to

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<v Speaker 1>the front door but the windows open. He like pulls

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<v Speaker 1>up in some shit shithole of a car, and her

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<v Speaker 1>friend goes, oh, he's.

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<v Speaker 2>Driving a beat. What we talked about this?

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<v Speaker 3>Did I?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>On the last episode? Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think so, don't are you telling me another time?

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<v Speaker 1>I think I was telling you at a different time

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<v Speaker 1>because I don't remember.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't remember.

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<v Speaker 1>She gets in his cards. I just he goes, I

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<v Speaker 1>just sold my Porsche last week and then and then

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<v Speaker 1>he drives past the movie theater. He doesn't have a

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<v Speaker 1>plan for the date, and he rolls down the window

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<v Speaker 1>as he drives. Do I take discount couponds?

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<v Speaker 2>Was trying to be how old? He said? Serious?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, Mom started dating Dad when she was I think

0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.600
<v Speaker 1>like eighteen or nineteen, so it had to have been.

0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:37.880
<v Speaker 1>She was f She went to my dad's after she knew,

0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:40.320
<v Speaker 1>like after that I had, Yeah, they had been dating

0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:41.760
<v Speaker 1>and she went on a date with this other guy

0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:45.480
<v Speaker 1>and then they passed Malibu Drive and he goes Malibu Drive.

0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:50.760
<v Speaker 1>That reminds me of my beach house in Malibu. And

0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:52.800
<v Speaker 1>she was like, it was the worst date ever.

0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:53.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:58.280
<v Speaker 1>I didn't ask, but Mom said that she immediately immediately

0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:01.120
<v Speaker 1>went to Dad's and was like, I never I never

0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:02.560
<v Speaker 1>dated another person after that.

0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:03.400
<v Speaker 3>It was so bad.

0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.720
<v Speaker 4>What's crazy is Lisa over here just being like eighteen

0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:10.280
<v Speaker 4>nineteen just dating twenty five year old men?

0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:13.320
<v Speaker 1>No, no, dude, Mom's a bag of fun.

0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:13.960
<v Speaker 2>Can I tell you?

0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.200
<v Speaker 1>The other day I called my best friend and she

0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 1>hasn't had a ton of sex, and she's smart. She

0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.320
<v Speaker 1>was protection a lot and she asked us she's on

0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:26.319
<v Speaker 1>the bluetooth speaker, and I'm like, have you guys been

0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:30.320
<v Speaker 1>having sexy time? She wants to get pregnant, and she goes, yes,

0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.840
<v Speaker 1>but I this could be a stupid question, but like,

0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:38.520
<v Speaker 1>did you guys know that our bodies don't fully absorb come?

0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.040
<v Speaker 1>It like kind of leaks a little bit, and my

0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.720
<v Speaker 1>mom started loving me. She goes, you're so cute, Honnie.

0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.079
<v Speaker 1>She goes, I didn't know that, and she goes, you

0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:50.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't she was, I did, And let's just say I

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:54.360
<v Speaker 1>knew that because I'm just shocked I didn't get pregnant.

0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:55.680
<v Speaker 1>More often, I'm.

0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.080
<v Speaker 3>Like, ew, my mother was a whore.

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:00.640
<v Speaker 2>My mother The War.

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:07.720
<v Speaker 4>Dragging Women two episodes, I'm the whole totally.

0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:09.920
<v Speaker 3>You are.

0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:17.120
<v Speaker 1>You are a bitch by uh proxy proximity? Yea, yeah,

0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.880
<v Speaker 1>yeah yeah war by proximity.

0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:21.320
<v Speaker 3>In a couple of days, it felt.

0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:25.080
<v Speaker 1>So funny, dude. I don't know if I've had like

0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:29.400
<v Speaker 1>a really horrific date or really great I've had a lot.

0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:35.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like, mmm, this one's kind of on the fence.

0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:38.280
<v Speaker 1>It was such a great date, like we were we

0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:42.480
<v Speaker 1>were vibing, we were like just so on the same page,

0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:45.000
<v Speaker 1>and seeing it fell effortless that I did allow him

0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.360
<v Speaker 1>to hit the first night, and he had a really

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:53.160
<v Speaker 1>underwhelming dick of the worst. No, it was such no,

0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:54.720
<v Speaker 1>just a hoe. I never got paid.

0:13:56.400 --> 0:14:01.760
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know, yeah, Lacklusser dicks just five isn't

0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:03.000
<v Speaker 2>even in the worst first date.

0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:07.559
<v Speaker 1>Well, mister forty five was like really hot and had

0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:11.600
<v Speaker 1>a very pretty and girthy and yummy.

0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:15.280
<v Speaker 2>He just didn't last forty five seconds. Here he was.

0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:17.680
<v Speaker 1>Forty five seconds, and I did give him a chance

0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:21.520
<v Speaker 1>to redeem and he lasted a little bit longer. Oh,

0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:25.840
<v Speaker 1>I just I have been told. I've been told that

0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.040
<v Speaker 1>basketball players are not as good as football players, which

0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:31.400
<v Speaker 1>I have to co sign on that. However, there was

0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:35.080
<v Speaker 1>one basketball player that was only one though that I

0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.200
<v Speaker 1>was like, all right, I get down for the cause.

0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:39.360
<v Speaker 2>Why do you think that? That's very interesting?

0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, but I've had these conversations with women

0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:45.000
<v Speaker 1>who like have gone. But I have heard that the

0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:47.920
<v Speaker 1>baseball players really know what's up. I've never been in.

0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 3>That because they swing down.

0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.520
<v Speaker 1>That's what I've heard. I have never been with a

0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:55.960
<v Speaker 1>baseball player, but that's what I've been told.

0:14:56.560 --> 0:15:01.240
<v Speaker 2>Wow, yeah, just you know, just fascinating.

0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:08.040
<v Speaker 1>It is fascinating, But what's your best words? Wow?

0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:10.440
<v Speaker 2>I think one of my best and this maybe and.

0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:14.200
<v Speaker 1>I both need to get late. At some point we're

0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:14.960
<v Speaker 1>going to start.

0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:18.280
<v Speaker 2>A new podcast called Getting Laile on Eastern Lade and

0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.080
<v Speaker 2>it's going to be that journey.

0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:22.960
<v Speaker 1>My best probably sad that it's the two of us

0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:27.000
<v Speaker 1>and we're whatever, what brother and sister.

0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:31.920
<v Speaker 2>Getting east And you could go get Dick, I could

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:33.000
<v Speaker 2>go get Push.

0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.160
<v Speaker 3>I just don't sucks that.

0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.320
<v Speaker 1>I'd rather just watch Paul Royal at home.

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I love it.

0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:43.480
<v Speaker 1>I love palm Riyle.

0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 3>It's a slower, slower.

0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:48.240
<v Speaker 1>I need to give it another it's slower.

0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:50.320
<v Speaker 3>I'm into it.

0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:51.720
<v Speaker 1>No, I just couldn't see that.

0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Well, what's yours mine is? I don't even know if

0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.000
<v Speaker 2>this is kind of it was one of the first

0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:59.480
<v Speaker 2>I ended up dating him for a little bit. But

0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.080
<v Speaker 2>we were out at the bar and he got a

0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:04.800
<v Speaker 2>text from a baseball friend of his. This was in Nashville,

0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.640
<v Speaker 2>and he was like, do you want to go to

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.840
<v Speaker 2>a Red Sox Yankees game in New York at like

0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.880
<v Speaker 2>the whatever? And I was like yeah when and he's

0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.960
<v Speaker 2>like tomorrow and I was like yeah, but like and

0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.320
<v Speaker 2>he was like I'll get us like he got us

0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:23.480
<v Speaker 2>first class tickets and then we flew like literally it

0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:27.560
<v Speaker 2>was eleven pm that night, and the next morning we

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:31.680
<v Speaker 2>left like six am, flew to New York, went to

0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:33.320
<v Speaker 2>the game. Oh and he brought a friend of mine.

0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:36.200
<v Speaker 2>Went to the game, hung out with all the players

0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:39.120
<v Speaker 2>after in the hotel, all the Red Sox players. Which hot?

0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:39.680
<v Speaker 1>Were they hot?

0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:40.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.200
<v Speaker 2>But it was so cool. Wasn't anything weird?

0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:44.280
<v Speaker 1>You're telling me you could have fucked a baseball player

0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.240
<v Speaker 1>and wighed in on this conversation to say if they're

0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:48.200
<v Speaker 1>better or what else?

0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:49.600
<v Speaker 2>You know what is so wild?

0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 1>Though?

0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:53.000
<v Speaker 2>At the time, and I will say this all of them.

0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:55.960
<v Speaker 2>It was literally a hotel room with me, a girlfriend,

0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:59.000
<v Speaker 2>my the guy I had went on a date with

0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.960
<v Speaker 2>at the time, and them a bunch of the Red

0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:04.879
<v Speaker 2>Sox players, and they were all everyone was just playing cards,

0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:08.600
<v Speaker 2>drinking so respectful. No one was like, and my friend

0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:11.479
<v Speaker 2>is hot, and no one was like aggressively hitting on her.

0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there was a little flirting, but she's like, yeah,

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:16.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to hook up. Bravo to the Red

0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:18.480
<v Speaker 2>Sox players or the ones that were in that room.

0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:20.840
<v Speaker 1>Many Yeah, okay, so keep going and I mean that

0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:22.600
<v Speaker 1>was and then that was the best day. And he

0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:25.000
<v Speaker 1>never tried anything, and he was like, here's first class

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:25.320
<v Speaker 1>take out.

0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:26.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, we had sex that night and we ended

0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:27.359
<v Speaker 2>up dating.

0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:31.040
<v Speaker 1>But oh well that's great. That's a great first date then.

0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:33.879
<v Speaker 2>And we had like right after the baseball game, we

0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:36.240
<v Speaker 2>got in the bus there. It was like some giant

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:38.560
<v Speaker 2>bus of the Red Sox players and like went all

0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:40.560
<v Speaker 2>over the city before we went back to the hotel

0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:42.760
<v Speaker 2>and like got drinks. It was all just it was fun.

0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:44.200
<v Speaker 2>It was like one of the best.

0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:45.840
<v Speaker 1>How long did you date for?

0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:47.240
<v Speaker 2>I dated him for like a year.

0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:51.560
<v Speaker 1>Wow, that's a great first date because it is something. Yeah,

0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.200
<v Speaker 1>what was the age difference that was?

0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:56.760
<v Speaker 2>I've always been around like five six years.

0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:00.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's an I think that's a nice gap.

0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I think I was like twenty two. Yeah, I

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:05.719
<v Speaker 2>think I was like twenty two and he was like

0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:06.560
<v Speaker 2>twenty eight.

0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.480
<v Speaker 1>You've lived so much life for only being like thirty

0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.320
<v Speaker 1>one or thirty two. It's wild to me. What do

0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:14.399
<v Speaker 1>our friends say, oh about their worst?

0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.760
<v Speaker 2>The worst I told you guys already. It was the

0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:21.000
<v Speaker 2>douchebag guy who we went to the concert and he

0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:22.840
<v Speaker 2>was so rude to the waiter and I like took

0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:24.440
<v Speaker 2>out like and I like paid for the day and

0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.000
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I'm done. You're rude and you're an asshole.

0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:28.880
<v Speaker 2>So that was the worst, just.

0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:32.880
<v Speaker 1>Because very assertive. Actually, you'd be shocked that I'm less

0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:33.760
<v Speaker 1>assertive than she is.

0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:35.560
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, chi.

0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Bitch, stuck up, bitch, bitch, she sure is. Oh my god. Okay,

0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:46.439
<v Speaker 2>this one, this first one, he took me to his

0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:52.400
<v Speaker 2>grandma's funeral for the first date. Can you imagine?

0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:55.040
<v Speaker 1>Wait, that's kind of that feels like a movie.

0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:59.040
<v Speaker 2>That feels like a movie. It feels like it also feels.

0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:00.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, but hold on, did he say let's go on

0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:06.639
<v Speaker 1>a date and then he told you where you were going?

0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 1>It's black tie and it's very very moody type of event,

0:19:12.560 --> 0:19:15.640
<v Speaker 1>whole family. Because did he say I want to take

0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:17.199
<v Speaker 1>you on a date, but we're gonna like stop by

0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:19.800
<v Speaker 1>my grandma's funeral first because I'm kind of on you girl,

0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:20.800
<v Speaker 1>or he.

0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:23.440
<v Speaker 2>Was like, I want you to meet my grandma and

0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:25.800
<v Speaker 2>that's all he said. And then little did.

0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:27.680
<v Speaker 3>She know, she didn't get to meet her, though.

0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:30.640
<v Speaker 2>Well she did, she did, grandmother didn't meet her back.

0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:35.000
<v Speaker 1>Depending on your belief system. She could have already been

0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:40.800
<v Speaker 1>reincarnated and been the bird that was watching over you know, girl,

0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:42.919
<v Speaker 1>that's rough she was.

0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:45.800
<v Speaker 2>We're now married, they might be. She didn't. She just

0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:48.560
<v Speaker 2>said he took me to his grandma's funeral. Dot dot dot, Kara,

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 2>we hear you, we see you, and rip for the grandma.

0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:53.880
<v Speaker 3>And are you still dating the guy? Yeah?

0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:54.440
<v Speaker 2>Are you married?

0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:58.560
<v Speaker 3>That's the big one I want? Right? Where is he at?

0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:00.480
<v Speaker 1>And like, did you console him when you cried? Like

0:20:00.520 --> 0:20:04.480
<v Speaker 1>you barely know him? I know I don't.

0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.440
<v Speaker 2>That's if any man. Let me tell you, I'm fine

0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:09.399
<v Speaker 2>with men crying. If any man takes me to a

0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:12.840
<v Speaker 2>freaking funeral for the first date and then cries on

0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:14.160
<v Speaker 2>my shoulder.

0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:17.639
<v Speaker 1>What if the grandma's dying wish was like I just

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:22.600
<v Speaker 1>really wow, really to love? And then she he didn't,

0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:25.000
<v Speaker 1>and so it was like, you're gonna take one for

0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:27.400
<v Speaker 1>the team, bitch. My grandma's being putting in her grave today,

0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.760
<v Speaker 1>and I'll be damned if she goes out and doesn't

0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:31.440
<v Speaker 1>see me with silms.

0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:35.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fake love, but oh my god, who nurse?

0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:36.120
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:37.840
<v Speaker 2>These are all you guys? Rode in with some really

0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:40.480
<v Speaker 2>good ones. Okay, this one I had to pick him

0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:43.840
<v Speaker 2>up drive him to our date and he made me pay. Oh,

0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:45.680
<v Speaker 2>and then I had to drop him back off home.

0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:52.000
<v Speaker 3>Huh. Yeah, you know what it feels like, right, you

0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:55.360
<v Speaker 3>guys want a quality? Were being canceled.

0:20:55.440 --> 0:20:57.320
<v Speaker 1>Damn you guys want to quality?

0:20:57.920 --> 0:20:59.080
<v Speaker 3>We do? We do?

0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:00.760
<v Speaker 2>We don't anymore.

0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:01.760
<v Speaker 1>I know.

0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:03.560
<v Speaker 4>There was a girl on the subway and she videoed

0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:06.320
<v Speaker 4>and she was like, what happened to men giving their seat?

0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:07.960
<v Speaker 4>And it was like all these dudes sitting and like

0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:09.920
<v Speaker 4>women standing, And it flips to this girl and she.

0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:13.000
<v Speaker 3>Goes, isn't this what we've always been wanting? Equality? I

0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:16.560
<v Speaker 3>was like, wow, yeah, I'd give my seat up for you. Guys. Don't.

0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:20.320
<v Speaker 1>No, It's like, just because we are asking to be

0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:23.520
<v Speaker 1>paid the same amount doesn't mean you need to be

0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:27.400
<v Speaker 1>a fucking asshole. Like we're still you're still like nice.

0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:29.400
<v Speaker 3>That's the thing.

0:21:28.840 --> 0:21:31.280
<v Speaker 1>This is what I want you to remember. This is

0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:33.480
<v Speaker 1>what I want you to remember when we're talking about equality.

0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:34.640
<v Speaker 1>How the fuck did you get here?

0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:34.960
<v Speaker 3>Bitch?

0:21:35.080 --> 0:21:38.359
<v Speaker 1>You tore up some woman's vagina. You're welcome give up

0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:44.520
<v Speaker 1>your the same and give up your seat.

0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:47.480
<v Speaker 3>I just got here.

0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:50.600
<v Speaker 2>We want your seat.

0:21:50.800 --> 0:21:55.320
<v Speaker 1>We gave you life You're fucking welcome. That's how I feel.

0:21:56.600 --> 0:21:58.600
<v Speaker 3>Right. We built buildings here and there for you.

0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:03.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you built a building, build shelter right, that's all

0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:04.040
<v Speaker 1>I could say.

0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:08.280
<v Speaker 3>That's I can't win.

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:09.720
<v Speaker 2>Helen knows the owner.

0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:12.640
<v Speaker 3>Blue.

0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:18.240
<v Speaker 1>That's all you're good for things.

0:22:18.359 --> 0:22:21.399
<v Speaker 2>We love you. Guy didn't look like dating app photo.

0:22:21.440 --> 0:22:23.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure this happens a lot. Has this ever happened

0:22:23.320 --> 0:22:24.919
<v Speaker 2>to either one of you? Well, you don't get on

0:22:24.920 --> 0:22:26.640
<v Speaker 2>the apps, but Easton, I don't.

0:22:26.480 --> 0:22:28.720
<v Speaker 3>Have dating apps. I've never went.

0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:31.119
<v Speaker 2>On an app. I would in my life.

0:22:31.280 --> 0:22:32.080
<v Speaker 3>Should I get one?

0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:33.240
<v Speaker 1>A dating app?

0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:34.520
<v Speaker 3>Ye, I've never had one.

0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I haven't either.

0:22:36.000 --> 0:22:37.280
<v Speaker 2>I've heard it's a weird time.

0:22:37.960 --> 0:22:39.879
<v Speaker 3>I've heard greet might get me laid.

0:22:40.359 --> 0:22:42.920
<v Speaker 2>I've heard it. Yeah, I've heard.

0:22:43.280 --> 0:22:43.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:49.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay. Took blind date to a hockey game. He asked

0:22:49.320 --> 0:22:52.320
<v Speaker 2>what the silver things were on the bottom of the

0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:58.280
<v Speaker 2>player's shoes skates, blades, skates? Are you in this world?

0:22:58.280 --> 0:23:01.719
<v Speaker 2>This is a female? He yeah, she wrote it, And

0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:04.920
<v Speaker 2>he asked, I would say, I won't say anything.

0:23:04.920 --> 0:23:06.480
<v Speaker 1>I was high. He was high.

0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:07.320
<v Speaker 3>Thing.

0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:09.560
<v Speaker 4>But like, if you've got a stupid question, you got

0:23:09.560 --> 0:23:10.600
<v Speaker 4>a phone, now look.

0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 1>It up, I asked, stupid questions all the time.

0:23:13.720 --> 0:23:16.760
<v Speaker 3>Oh not me, oh, I asked, try not to.

0:23:17.400 --> 0:23:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, this is a positive you guys. I think he

0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:22.760
<v Speaker 2>might have been on something. I think he or he

0:23:22.960 --> 0:23:26.320
<v Speaker 2>was like I don't want to say weirdo, but he

0:23:26.440 --> 0:23:28.560
<v Speaker 2>was someone who doesn't pay attention to sports at all.

0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:33.960
<v Speaker 1>And come on, you don't have to pay attention someone gliding.

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:34.760
<v Speaker 3>In the Olympics.

0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:38.520
<v Speaker 4>It's how do you not know figure skating?

0:23:38.640 --> 0:23:40.879
<v Speaker 1>It's a blade? How do you? Yes? I think he

0:23:40.960 --> 0:23:42.680
<v Speaker 1>might have either been on something or he was trying

0:23:42.680 --> 0:23:45.439
<v Speaker 1>to make it funny and it just didn't. Didn't With

0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:47.520
<v Speaker 1>the girl like these silver things, I.

0:23:47.520 --> 0:23:49.080
<v Speaker 3>Think it sounds like he was trying to be a deck.

0:23:49.680 --> 0:23:52.000
<v Speaker 2>It's like, oh, well, what are these, you know, the

0:23:52.000 --> 0:23:53.880
<v Speaker 2>bottom of the skates, trying to see if she would

0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:55.359
<v Speaker 2>answer it, if she answered correctly or not.

0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:56.359
<v Speaker 3>That's what I'm getting.

0:23:57.480 --> 0:23:59.159
<v Speaker 2>It was like, oh, you want to take me to

0:23:59.200 --> 0:24:01.280
<v Speaker 2>a hockey Yeah, like.

0:24:01.240 --> 0:24:05.600
<v Speaker 3>Testing needs a deck. Guys.

0:24:05.880 --> 0:24:08.359
<v Speaker 1>I think hockey players may be the ones laying the

0:24:08.359 --> 0:24:12.639
<v Speaker 1>best pipe. Seen them out there. I know just a

0:24:12.640 --> 0:24:17.280
<v Speaker 1>lot of them, truthless who cares, but not homelessness, goumness,

0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:18.119
<v Speaker 1>po ring.

0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:25.520
<v Speaker 3>I know old lady with some dentures. I heard that.

0:24:25.400 --> 0:24:27.280
<v Speaker 2>Anywhay homeless, not toothless.

0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:30.280
<v Speaker 1>So there is smoked toothless, not homeless.

0:24:30.480 --> 0:24:31.920
<v Speaker 2>No, it's homeless, not toothless.

0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:35.800
<v Speaker 1>It's homeless, not toothless. But an account I saw that

0:24:35.920 --> 0:24:39.120
<v Speaker 1>was like a Bravo fan page has onesies for babies

0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:40.600
<v Speaker 1>that says toothless.

0:24:40.119 --> 0:24:40.680
<v Speaker 2>Not homeless.

0:24:41.880 --> 0:24:44.400
<v Speaker 1>I kind of want one for my baby.

0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:49.359
<v Speaker 3>Get us homeless. Oh my god, what I don't know.

0:24:49.800 --> 0:24:57.199
<v Speaker 1>I'll invest. I'll invest, not going broke. I'll donate to

0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:57.720
<v Speaker 1>the cause.

0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:01.880
<v Speaker 2>This is a good one, he says. Smoked all the bongs,

0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:05.400
<v Speaker 2>watched all the family guy had amazing sex. Seven years

0:25:05.400 --> 0:25:06.359
<v Speaker 2>married in October.

0:25:08.760 --> 0:25:12.080
<v Speaker 1>Can I tell you that chills? That just gave me

0:25:12.200 --> 0:25:17.080
<v Speaker 1>freaking chills? You know, bong sex is the best sex.

0:25:17.119 --> 0:25:19.119
<v Speaker 1>Better way that late text, because you don't want that

0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:20.080
<v Speaker 1>late text.

0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:24.920
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm late text, so wrap it up.

0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:28.919
<v Speaker 1>Can I tell you I had someone who was so

0:25:29.200 --> 0:25:31.760
<v Speaker 1>fine and we smoked all the weed and ate all

0:25:31.800 --> 0:25:34.879
<v Speaker 1>the edibles together on Halloween and watched the scariest of movies.

0:25:35.040 --> 0:25:37.320
<v Speaker 1>I had the best sex ever. And then he turned,

0:25:37.400 --> 0:25:39.280
<v Speaker 1>and then he turned, and you know I warned what

0:25:39.560 --> 0:25:44.879
<v Speaker 1>he turned? Weirday. I wish at least we're gonna say friends.

0:25:44.880 --> 0:25:46.879
<v Speaker 1>He got fucking weird. I wrote about this guy in

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:50.879
<v Speaker 1>my book and he I didn't have toilet paper, but

0:25:50.920 --> 0:25:53.720
<v Speaker 1>for some reason, you wouldn't even know him. He was like, yeah,

0:25:53.760 --> 0:25:55.920
<v Speaker 1>you wouldn't know him, but he was sexy as fuck.

0:25:56.359 --> 0:25:57.760
<v Speaker 1>And then I brought him over to my friend's house

0:25:57.800 --> 0:25:59.240
<v Speaker 1>and he got all weird that I was like having

0:25:59.280 --> 0:26:01.400
<v Speaker 1>a good time. So he left and.

0:26:01.359 --> 0:26:03.159
<v Speaker 2>That night I didn't have toilet paper.

0:26:03.480 --> 0:26:05.639
<v Speaker 1>I didn't have toilet paper because that's part of the story.

0:26:05.720 --> 0:26:08.520
<v Speaker 1>So I made him I he like made fun of me,

0:26:08.600 --> 0:26:10.399
<v Speaker 1>and we like laughed about it because I was like

0:26:11.000 --> 0:26:14.000
<v Speaker 1>drunk and like twenty three years old, and I'm.

0:26:13.840 --> 0:26:14.679
<v Speaker 2>Like, toilet paper.

0:26:14.800 --> 0:26:17.640
<v Speaker 1>We spent the money on vodka, bitch, you know who

0:26:17.640 --> 0:26:21.160
<v Speaker 1>needs that. We got paper towels, drip dry, honey, drip

0:26:21.280 --> 0:26:23.320
<v Speaker 1>dry because I had.

0:26:23.920 --> 0:26:24.360
<v Speaker 2>In my back.

0:26:25.080 --> 0:26:27.399
<v Speaker 1>He was like, what the fuck is this rip dry?

0:26:27.760 --> 0:26:29.600
<v Speaker 3>And then he's gonna get into your underwear.

0:26:29.880 --> 0:26:32.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh, why would he get into my underwear? I didn't

0:26:32.720 --> 0:26:36.800
<v Speaker 1>wear underwear at that time. Spoon, Let's not get too

0:26:36.880 --> 0:26:39.679
<v Speaker 1>deep into it. He's just like, let it go. I

0:26:39.800 --> 0:26:44.600
<v Speaker 1>was took an edible and mushrooms set him home because

0:26:44.600 --> 0:26:46.639
<v Speaker 1>he was killing the vibe, right, we all thought he

0:26:46.680 --> 0:26:49.800
<v Speaker 1>was killing the vibe. He decides later that night that

0:26:49.880 --> 0:26:52.400
<v Speaker 1>he wants to make a statement, you know, show how

0:26:52.440 --> 0:26:55.000
<v Speaker 1>big his dick is. So this is what he does.

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 1>He goes, I have all these edibles. I don't think

0:26:57.280 --> 0:26:59.000
<v Speaker 1>we should see each other anymore. I was like, uh,

0:26:59.080 --> 0:27:01.200
<v Speaker 1>you think I have all these edibles that I'm not

0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:02.719
<v Speaker 1>going to eat, so you might as well take him.

0:27:02.760 --> 0:27:05.080
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, yo, Danny, we got a Hella edibles.

0:27:05.800 --> 0:27:06.960
<v Speaker 3>I'll good. Ada.

0:27:07.040 --> 0:27:09.639
<v Speaker 1>He pulls up, gives me the bag and I'm like,

0:27:09.720 --> 0:27:12.560
<v Speaker 1>have a great one. I take the bag inside where

0:27:12.560 --> 0:27:17.479
<v Speaker 1>it's light. There's toilet paper inside of it edibles, and

0:27:17.520 --> 0:27:22.960
<v Speaker 1>the bag says fuck you, which how hard he didn't

0:27:23.880 --> 0:27:28.720
<v Speaker 1>you didn't write it. It was like he had fuck you. Yeah,

0:27:28.960 --> 0:27:30.960
<v Speaker 1>it was like, where did you find this bag that

0:27:31.280 --> 0:27:31.679
<v Speaker 1>bought it?

0:27:32.240 --> 0:27:34.439
<v Speaker 2>I have to say that if you had done that,

0:27:34.520 --> 0:27:36.280
<v Speaker 2>I would have like stood up and clapped.

0:27:36.480 --> 0:27:36.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:27:36.800 --> 0:27:40.080
<v Speaker 1>No, it was savage. It was savage. So then I

0:27:40.200 --> 0:27:42.160
<v Speaker 1>called him and I was like, I feel really bad

0:27:42.200 --> 0:27:43.919
<v Speaker 1>the way we left things, Like I really want to

0:27:43.920 --> 0:27:46.320
<v Speaker 1>make this work. I reeled him back in, made him

0:27:46.359 --> 0:27:50.600
<v Speaker 1>drive forty five minutes back to my house, kept the edibles,

0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:53.520
<v Speaker 1>took the bag back with the toilet paper, and I said,

0:27:53.600 --> 0:27:55.880
<v Speaker 1>fuck you enjoy your drive home.

0:27:56.119 --> 0:27:56.320
<v Speaker 3>No?

0:27:56.520 --> 0:28:02.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I'm eating your weed, bitch, I kept a weed. No,

0:28:05.000 --> 0:28:07.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm keeping the weed, dumb ass.

0:28:08.520 --> 0:28:11.480
<v Speaker 2>Dumb ass, you do it good too. Oh, this is

0:28:11.600 --> 0:28:16.080
<v Speaker 2>so cute. A scavenger hunt from Brooklyn through the Lower

0:28:16.119 --> 0:28:19.639
<v Speaker 2>east Side ending with him on his rooftop with a

0:28:19.720 --> 0:28:24.439
<v Speaker 2>candle light picnic overlooking Manhattan. Best date, yet surprisingly boring

0:28:24.520 --> 0:28:27.720
<v Speaker 2>boy with an upside down smiley face. That's a little much,

0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:30.359
<v Speaker 2>now that I'm reading it. For a first date. Let me.

0:28:32.400 --> 0:28:33.639
<v Speaker 3>If I were to do that and the girls like,

0:28:33.760 --> 0:28:35.560
<v Speaker 3>the fuck does this guy think he is? I'm about

0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:37.000
<v Speaker 3>to go on for you.

0:28:37.040 --> 0:28:39.880
<v Speaker 1>No, I'd rather have the guy who I smoked the

0:28:39.920 --> 0:28:42.840
<v Speaker 1>bong with and hell sex all over the house and

0:28:42.880 --> 0:28:46.480
<v Speaker 1>watch Family Guy. That sounds freaking awesome, because if I

0:28:46.520 --> 0:28:50.160
<v Speaker 1>can do that with you, we have a long life together.

0:28:50.280 --> 0:28:53.160
<v Speaker 1>Because that the candle at dinner, That shit fades. Man.

0:28:53.560 --> 0:28:54.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but.

0:28:56.520 --> 0:28:58.960
<v Speaker 1>No, but you getting high and banging all over the

0:28:59.000 --> 0:29:02.120
<v Speaker 1>place with Family Guy. My family guys twenty five years strong, baby,

0:29:02.160 --> 0:29:04.240
<v Speaker 1>and they're not planning on giving up, So we've got

0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:07.880
<v Speaker 1>a long relationship ahead of us, and the weed is legal,

0:29:08.080 --> 0:29:09.240
<v Speaker 1>e e.

0:29:11.040 --> 0:29:11.360
<v Speaker 3>Legal.

0:29:11.840 --> 0:29:16.320
<v Speaker 1>Kids are at mom's house. Honey, let's get fucking high.

0:29:16.600 --> 0:29:18.440
<v Speaker 1>You know that sounds so fun.

0:29:18.520 --> 0:29:20.480
<v Speaker 2>That does sound fun. This is one of the worst.

0:29:20.520 --> 0:29:22.680
<v Speaker 2>They tell you they love you on the first date

0:29:22.760 --> 0:29:25.240
<v Speaker 2>with like the big eyes. I would call the police

0:29:25.320 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 2>in one second.

0:29:26.840 --> 0:29:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh that guy. Oh he's either a love bombers.

0:29:32.760 --> 0:29:35.080
<v Speaker 2>If they say if you don't know them. Here's the thing.

0:29:35.200 --> 0:29:37.240
<v Speaker 2>If you guys are best friends forever or whatever, and

0:29:37.280 --> 0:29:39.840
<v Speaker 2>you're so close and it's like you've been waiting and

0:29:39.880 --> 0:29:41.480
<v Speaker 2>then you went on the first date and he's like,

0:29:41.600 --> 0:29:44.080
<v Speaker 2>I just I've always known I love you. That's one thing.

0:29:44.920 --> 0:29:46.920
<v Speaker 1>First, No, that's a first dates.

0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:48.760
<v Speaker 3>Good baby, he's.

0:29:48.560 --> 0:29:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Skinning you and pulling full on Texas chainsaw mask her,

0:29:51.840 --> 0:29:53.040
<v Speaker 1>wearing your face around town.

0:29:53.240 --> 0:29:54.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh, get away.

0:29:55.040 --> 0:29:56.880
<v Speaker 1>We're happy that you're alive to tell about it.

0:29:57.200 --> 0:29:59.160
<v Speaker 2>We are so happy, all right.

0:29:59.240 --> 0:29:59.880
<v Speaker 1>Last one?

0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:02.760
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, So this one's a few parts, so we'll

0:30:02.960 --> 0:30:04.960
<v Speaker 2>read it. For the last one. He told me my

0:30:05.040 --> 0:30:10.040
<v Speaker 2>Caesar salad was the fattiest salad ever. Quotes turned down

0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:13.760
<v Speaker 2>mince because they were empty calories, told me I was

0:30:13.840 --> 0:30:17.800
<v Speaker 2>gross for walking on the beach Part three. Barefoot then

0:30:17.880 --> 0:30:20.240
<v Speaker 2>told me he could never date a girl that drinks beer.

0:30:20.320 --> 0:30:23.440
<v Speaker 2>I was doing that and killed a moth in the

0:30:23.480 --> 0:30:28.000
<v Speaker 2>car with his bare hands and profusely gagged when it exploded.

0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:31.239
<v Speaker 2>This guy's the worst. This guy is the worst. This

0:30:31.280 --> 0:30:32.440
<v Speaker 2>guy is the worst.

0:30:32.520 --> 0:30:34.160
<v Speaker 1>And why does he have moths in his car?

0:30:34.360 --> 0:30:37.800
<v Speaker 2>Get your moths out of your janky ass car either

0:30:37.800 --> 0:30:42.960
<v Speaker 2>you're a freaking car. Lisa would have your bag.

0:30:43.840 --> 0:30:47.600
<v Speaker 1>Can I tell you I feel like this type of guy.

0:30:48.680 --> 0:30:52.520
<v Speaker 1>He's trying to make this girl feel like she would

0:30:52.520 --> 0:30:55.880
<v Speaker 1>be lucky to have him as like a guide, not

0:30:55.920 --> 0:31:00.440
<v Speaker 1>a guy you know how you know'd? Yeah, he does.

0:31:00.480 --> 0:31:03.800
<v Speaker 1>Sound like a personal trader. Sounds like someone who like

0:31:04.400 --> 0:31:06.840
<v Speaker 1>he likes to control his women and he wants to

0:31:06.920 --> 0:31:09.280
<v Speaker 1>keep you under his thumb and make you feel like

0:31:09.360 --> 0:31:11.720
<v Speaker 1>you could never do better because you're disgusting and you

0:31:11.760 --> 0:31:14.760
<v Speaker 1>should feel lucky to be with me. You know those

0:31:14.800 --> 0:31:16.560
<v Speaker 1>types of guys where it's like why are you with me?

0:31:16.600 --> 0:31:19.000
<v Speaker 1>And it's like he's with you because he knows that

0:31:19.120 --> 0:31:21.400
<v Speaker 1>he sucks, so he has to make you think you

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:24.520
<v Speaker 1>suck so that you won't go elsewhere like you suck,

0:31:24.600 --> 0:31:26.680
<v Speaker 1>so bad. You're lucky that you're even here with me.

0:31:26.960 --> 0:31:29.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, isn't that like the I don't know if that's

0:31:29.200 --> 0:31:32.280
<v Speaker 2>a narcissist thing, but that's like the abusive, like no

0:31:32.320 --> 0:31:34.720
<v Speaker 2>one will love you, No one as good as me

0:31:34.800 --> 0:31:35.760
<v Speaker 2>would ever love.

0:31:35.640 --> 0:31:37.960
<v Speaker 1>You, because look at like I take you, even though

0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:40.720
<v Speaker 1>you drink beer, and drinking beer is disgusting and you're disgusting.

0:31:40.840 --> 0:31:41.080
<v Speaker 3>Ew.

0:31:41.120 --> 0:31:42.960
<v Speaker 2>If anyone looked at my salad and was like, that's

0:31:43.000 --> 0:31:47.200
<v Speaker 2>the fattiest salad ever in their face, I do too. Also,

0:31:47.400 --> 0:31:49.800
<v Speaker 2>I would order then a whole cake and eat it

0:31:49.800 --> 0:31:52.480
<v Speaker 2>in front of him, would you, though, Jessica, I probably would.

0:31:52.480 --> 0:31:53.160
<v Speaker 2>I love a good.

0:31:53.040 --> 0:31:58.800
<v Speaker 1>Cake made of hummus, ice cream, frozen.

0:31:58.480 --> 0:32:00.000
<v Speaker 3>Hummus cake, rozen hummus.

0:32:00.240 --> 0:32:03.400
<v Speaker 2>I like butter cream, I like ice cream, cakes, cookies,

0:32:04.080 --> 0:32:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, crumble cookie.

0:32:07.200 --> 0:32:11.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, Oh okay, wait, the crumble out here, the crumbling Utah.

0:32:12.440 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 1>Aren't they to say it's the r U M B

0:32:14.440 --> 0:32:15.600
<v Speaker 1>l Oh they're the same.

0:32:16.160 --> 0:32:20.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, they're so good. I just they're at

0:32:20.400 --> 0:32:21.600
<v Speaker 2>the Americana Mall.

0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:25.719
<v Speaker 1>Should we go there? You guys, I'll tell you what

0:32:25.720 --> 0:32:28.400
<v Speaker 1>the best day ever would be going to Lee's to

0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:32.520
<v Speaker 1>get injected. Okay, and then going and eating crumbled cookies and.

0:32:32.480 --> 0:32:34.800
<v Speaker 4>Then maybe going to get an ice cream put on

0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:36.000
<v Speaker 4>top of the crumbled cookies.

0:32:36.160 --> 0:32:38.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh but hold on, if we're going to do the

0:32:38.360 --> 0:32:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Americana Mall, don't they have cheesecake factory there?

0:32:41.000 --> 0:32:46.840
<v Speaker 3>Yes, factory planting out.

0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:49.600
<v Speaker 2>Then we'll do it with US three, First sight with

0:32:49.760 --> 0:32:50.160
<v Speaker 2>US three.

0:32:52.200 --> 0:32:56.960
<v Speaker 3>I love Thursday tomorrow. I want a planet?

0:32:57.080 --> 0:32:57.200
<v Speaker 1>Now?

0:32:57.320 --> 0:32:58.600
<v Speaker 3>Should we do? I want to.

0:33:00.280 --> 0:33:03.840
<v Speaker 1>If you guys, I don't want to leave Lisa behind.

0:33:03.880 --> 0:33:07.080
<v Speaker 3>She's gone, That's what I'm saying. I have though, who's

0:33:07.120 --> 0:33:07.920
<v Speaker 3>to say she can't go.

0:33:08.480 --> 0:33:09.760
<v Speaker 1>This is the funnest day ever.

0:33:10.080 --> 0:33:12.880
<v Speaker 2>This is and we also have Amazon Live.

0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:15.920
<v Speaker 1>So alright, let's wrap it up, you guys. This was

0:33:15.960 --> 0:33:18.520
<v Speaker 1>a fun podcast. Thank you for writing in your best

0:33:19.240 --> 0:33:22.880
<v Speaker 1>slash most terrible dates. You've given me hope to go

0:33:23.000 --> 0:33:26.960
<v Speaker 1>out and date. Sadly, though the best dates involved smoking weed,

0:33:27.480 --> 0:33:33.840
<v Speaker 1>I know that would be a relapse for me. Not

0:33:34.000 --> 0:33:38.040
<v Speaker 1>be the worst date, but the worst day anyway, have

0:33:38.200 --> 0:33:40.840
<v Speaker 1>the best Monday ever. I hope you get through the week,

0:33:40.880 --> 0:33:42.280
<v Speaker 1>and I hope that we made it a little bit

0:33:42.360 --> 0:33:46.240
<v Speaker 1>easier for you. Jessica Friday, Yes, it's Monday.

0:33:46.360 --> 0:33:47.000
<v Speaker 2>It's Monday.

0:33:47.320 --> 0:33:48.040
<v Speaker 1>Monday.

0:33:48.360 --> 0:33:54.000
<v Speaker 2>Monday, well Monday, it's the bonus episode. Monday, take a

0:33:54.040 --> 0:33:57.120
<v Speaker 2>flour a drink. You guys, remember that song. Okay, we

0:33:57.200 --> 0:33:59.680
<v Speaker 2>will make enough. Wednesday, you do. I love that song.

0:34:00.000 --> 0:34:02.520
<v Speaker 1>You can turn in the car, have the best day ever.

0:34:02.600 --> 0:34:06.520
<v Speaker 1>Remember Wednesday, the regular old episode comes out, and Friday

0:34:06.600 --> 0:34:09.320
<v Speaker 1>you can see the video on YouTube. I love you,

0:34:09.400 --> 0:34:10.120
<v Speaker 1>I love you, I love you.

0:34:10.280 --> 0:34:10.520
<v Speaker 4>Bye.