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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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Speaker 1: tip is to mind your manners online. It is easy

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Speaker 1: to be a little more curt and a little less

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Speaker 1: courteous from behind a screen, but communication is still communication.

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Speaker 1: People are still people. A little niceness goes a long way.

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Speaker 1: So I recently read Charles Dohigg's new book Super Communicators.

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Speaker 1: Over the past few weeks I shared a few tips

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Speaker 1: from the book. Today's tip comes from something he mentions

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Speaker 1: just in passing that in one study, all it took

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Speaker 1: was the words thank you and please to a series

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Speaker 1: of online arguments while everything else stayed the same to

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Speaker 1: reduce tensions. This is fascinating, but not really that surprising.

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Speaker 1: It is hard to read emotions and context into printed words.

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Speaker 1: When someone is speaking, we pick up on all sorts

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Speaker 1: of non verbal cues, but those are completely absent in

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Speaker 1: most online communication. People read sarcasm as real emotion. It

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Speaker 1: is easy to choose the least charitable explanation for whatever

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Speaker 1: is said, but the words please and thank you change

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Speaker 1: that entirely. If you say thank you for sharing that

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Speaker 1: and then say why you disagree with a previous comment.

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Speaker 1: It comes across less as a personal attack and more

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Speaker 1: like a calm debate. Asking a question and then saying

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Speaker 1: please let me know comes across as a reasonable request

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Speaker 1: rather than a demand. Of course, the temperature gets turned down. Now.

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Speaker 1: I am not entirely sure that it is worth engaging

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Speaker 1: in most online debates. I am not sure that anyone

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Speaker 1: has changed their perspective on something because a stranger on

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Speaker 1: the internet told them that they should. That said, if

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Speaker 1: you are spending your time engaged in online debates, then

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Speaker 1: simply adding a few pleases and thank yous in your

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Speaker 1: language might make the whole thing more constructive. And if

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Speaker 1: you wind up in a debate in an online community

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Speaker 1: that you do value and in which you do know

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Speaker 1: the people, then making sure to add some pleases and

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Speaker 1: thank yous is doubly important. You can hopefully focus on

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Speaker 1: finding a compromise or at least a solution people can

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Speaker 1: live with, rather than making things feel personal. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: it's easy to forget this. So one thing I've been

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Speaker 1: doing lately is double checking emails before I send them

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Speaker 1: to make sure I do come across as polite, often

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Speaker 1: adding the words please and thank you go a long

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Speaker 1: way toward doing that. If someone disagrees vehemently with me

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Speaker 1: on something, opening an email with thank you for your note,

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Speaker 1: I really appreciate your reading my work goes a long

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Speaker 1: way toward keeping things civil, and it's only when things

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Speaker 1: are civil that anything can happen. Yelling just makes everyone

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Speaker 1: retreat to their trenches, even when yelling only looks like

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Speaker 1: words on a screen. In the meantime, this is Laura.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've

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Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at

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Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a

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Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit

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Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows,