WEBVTT - Brainwash and Repeat (with Bianca Cristovao) 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:05.720 You know what's what's sad for me is uh, I 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:08.280 didn't relax my hair and I'm still doing the same 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:10.600 ship you do. So what the funk happened to me? 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:13.080 You know what I mean? Like you have brain damage, 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:17.880 that's clear from the relaxer. But me, I maybe maybe 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:20.360 I'm just fucked up from the beginning. That's even worse. 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:24.200 Maybe since you know it all started with the loop. Yeah, 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:27.440 maybe these loobes, these various things I was using to 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:43.519 jerk off, we're apparently also frying my brain somehow racist 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:58.360 money stuff I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep. There 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:01.600 it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:06.800 another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:10.000 where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:14.280 conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove that logic 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:18.640 is black in the same way that McDonald's is serving 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.760 us chicken. You know what I mean, Those chicken nuggets 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.160 ain't really chicken, but you can imagine how chicken existed 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:29.280 inside of the space that is the food that's being 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:32.920 served to us. Same things happening with logic in his blackness. 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:36.080 I think it's pretty clear that that somewhere in there 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:40.480 there was a black relationship of sorts, but now it's 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:44.640 mostly just pink sludge that's being served up to us 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:48.440 with a lot of depressing anecdotes wrapped around it. You know, 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:52.680 I'm your host, Lankston Kerman, coming in, coming in, misbehaving 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:56.440 as always coming in hots as I used to say, uh, 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:58.760 And I'm happy to be here. It's it's it's a 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:02.920 beautiful day here. I'm still trapped in New York City. 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:06.920 I say trapped because I'm terribly unhappy here. But I'm 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:08.920 gonna be back in l A soon and I'm gonna 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:12.399 be back in my apartment where WiFi works perfectly, and 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.400 uh apartment, I live in a home, and my wife 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:17.799 and my child there, and I won't have to be 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:21.160 so sad all the time. Anyway, My my guest today, 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:24.519 she ain't sad, not even a little bit. And she 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:26.920 she had a harrowing story that I hope she tells 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:29.880 us more about when she gets on the recording. But 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:33.760 that's neither here nor there. She's not sad because she's hilarious, 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:37.959 super talented actress, comedian. You know her from all kinds 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.919 of ship so funny. Please give it up for my guests. 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:50.760 Bianca Christop, I yeah, hell yeah, you're lying. But that's 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:52.720 not that's not for the people at home to know. 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:58.840 I won't tell Hell good, I'm good, I'm happy I 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:01.440 made it. I'm so sorry. I was late. I was late. 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:06.800 I almost got kidnapped at a gas station. Why what 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.640 happened at this gas station? Why? What were the what 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.800 was the entirety of the incident? Well, I, you know, 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:15.760 I was just getting gas and I'm getting my gas 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:17.800 and I'm listening to podcasts and the night turned and 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:20.320 I see a guy trying to get into my car. So, 0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:23.760 you know, as a half white woman, I started screaming 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:27.799 and then somebody helped removed the man from my car. 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.320 Did he did he like get in the car and 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:33.320 he was like, dry, bitch, I'm trying to go to 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:35.880 the third street. Like what was Did he say what 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.800 his plan was getting in your car? He didn't say 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.400 what his plan was? No, he was not very here 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:45.000 in Maybe he thought Ada was is uber, you know, 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:49.280 maybe I don't know. Well I did he get in 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:53.560 the front seat? Yeah, yeah, not the driver though, not 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:58.760 the driver's seat, the passenger seat. So that was interesting. Yeah, 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:01.440 I don't think anybody gets in French seat if they 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:05.320 if they think that's the uber, they're not like, uh, 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:07.880 are you my uber? I want to sit next to you. 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:11.920 Before COVID, I would sit in front, you would sit 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:17.599 in the front. That's that's truly psychopathic behavior. That's like 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:22.800 jail worthy behavior. Before COVID it was normal. I don't 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.000 think so. I don't think at any point where any 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:28.520 of your drivers allowing you to sit in the front 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:30.520 seat because it was normal. I think they were allowing 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:32.520 you to do it because they are underpaid and just 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:34.680 need the rides. But it wasn't because they were like 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:39.760 the stars. Yeah, this is a perfectly normal decision by 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:42.640 a healthy person. Well, I you know, I feel sick 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:44.719 in a car, so there's a reason for it. So 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:49.800 if I'm saying so, sitting up front sort of alleviate 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.360 some of that. Yeah, it makes you feel like you're 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:56.400 more in control, which is illusion obviously, But okay, Well 0:04:56.720 --> 0:05:00.160 I still think it's nutty, but I respect that this 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.479 is this is you trying to manage what otherwise might 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:07.560 be you barfing in someone's vehicles. Yes, look, we don't 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.559 have time to talk about your your crazy front seat 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:14.680 behavior anymore because you came to me with a conspiracy 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:17.320 theory that I think is gonna be It's gonna be 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.440 a great conversation. I'm very excited that we're digging into this, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.440 and I won't delay it anymore. You said, my mama 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:30.280 told me was created about white people to brainwash black people. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:39.440 It's all about the chemicals getting in your brain. Correct, correct, 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:45.839 And my mama would tell me everything. Oh you, your 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:51.720 mom is white, and there you know what I mean. 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:56.240 So so let's let's start from the beginning, because they 0:05:56.440 --> 0:06:01.359 already were accusing your mother of disastrous things. Where where 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:05.359 did you first come upon this conspiracy theories? This of 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:08.440 your own making or is this one that you've heard? No, 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:11.680 it is on my own making. But with that set, 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:15.880 it's based on another conspiracy which I believe it is true, 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:21.160 which is that relaxers are extremely dangerous to women and 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:23.800 and they can cause cancer, and they can cause all 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:27.440 kinds of stuff. And obviously who's using relaxers Only black people. 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:31.520 So you know, there is my conspiracy theory that I 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.360 actually believe in, and then off of that I built 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:38.520 my own, which is two brainwashes. Whoa Okay, so it 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:44.320 started at what sounds like a level of real research. Yeah, 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:47.520 it sounds like a level of real research. Yeah, you 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:50.200 were like, no, this is an actual found thing that 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:52.760 I I know to be true or at least believe 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:55.000 to be true. And then you're like, and I bet 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:59.760 they're doing some brainwashing ship and okay, what do you 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.080 think Let's let's follow this train, because this is very 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:05.680 exciting to me. I I don't know how how familiar 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:09.520 you are, but I love a good toxic take on 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:13.080 on most things. So so help me understand. What do 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:17.240 you think they're they're intending to do with this brainwashing? Like, 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:20.200 is there a specific type of brainwashing? What? What's their 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:23.520 goal here? Well, I think first of all, we have 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:27.240 to go a little bit bad. So imagine, like you 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:29.680 use these relaxers since you're a little girl, Like the 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.520 first time I used mine, I was probably like ten 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:35.960 years old, So it starts very early on. Okay, so 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:38.520 you're just to be clear, you are a veteran in 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:41.360 this game. This isn't just a person used to do it. 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:44.120 And then I stopped when I was a teenager. And 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.560 then you know, at the same time, I also you know, 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:50.520 I kind of woke up too many to me this 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:54.440 and stuff. So you know, you see the you see 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:56.960 the co incidence there. I stopped using relax or some 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:00.880 suddenly I became a real black person. Before was quite whitewash. 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:04.400 I'm not gonna lie. Oh so for years, if I'm 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:08.120 understanding you correctly, for years you sort of were, uh, 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:12.400 we're working, not let's not say against. You were working 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:16.920 not necessarily in favor of sort of like your black identity. 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.360 You weren't sort of like treating that is, like the 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:23.960 way that you identified And then in taking the relax 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:26.880 or out of your hair, you started to see yourself 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.720 more as a black person. I think something like that. 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:34.040 Yes it's not as simple, but yes, okay, it wasn't 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:37.520 the relaxer itself that did it, but it it played 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:40.439 a part. Maybe it it was a part of a 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:46.239 longer growth in your life. Okay, I've long maintained this conspiracy, 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:48.559 and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. I 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:52.520 do think that white mom sometimes plays its part in 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:57.679 the way that people identify themselves. It mixed people specifically 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:01.079 identify themselves in the world like I have. I am 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:06.520 also biracial. My dad is white, and I think white 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.600 dad's play far less of a role in the way 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:12.960 that you like sort of like see yourself as Like 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:16.240 I never at any point saw myself as anything other 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:19.200 than a black man, and I think it's because having 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:22.560 a black ass mom makes you sort of feel that way, 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.480 whereas a lot of the people who I know who 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:28.640 have white moms struggle more with oh, this is how 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.800 I identify. This is where you know. It's funny because 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.520 I used to think until right now that it was 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:37.840 a matter of being a black girl and having a 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.839 black mom. But now you know, from your point of 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:43.800 view as being a black man having a black mom 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:45.800 and having the same experience, you might be onto something. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:47.800 You know. I thought it was the whole thing about 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:51.160 your mother, mother, father, father, about you were telling you're 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:55.680 proving me wrong. So that's interesting. Damn all right, well 0:09:55.840 --> 0:10:00.200 this let me ask you this. So so was her 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:03.080 mom the one that was encouraging you to relax your hair? 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:08.880 That's also very complicated. So my mother was the one, well, 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:12.160 definitely encourage some bad stuff, but I think the hair relaxed, 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.679 and she didn't necessarily encourage because it's expensive, you know, 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:19.120 and we didn't have money. So she was like, now 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:22.400 you shouldn't you shouldn't be doing that, you know, because 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:24.240 like it's you know, it's bad for your hair. So 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:27.600 she actually did not completely encourage that. No, okay, so 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:31.280 she she was on the side of of the justice 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:37.120 you eventually found uh without knowing it. With that said, 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.600 the reason why I'm saying it's more complicated than that 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.920 because she's a blonde woman in beautiful, long blonde hair 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:48.079 that I always wanted to have. Right looking at her, 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:50.720 I'm like, that's what I you know, you're my role model. 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:54.200 That's what I want to achieve, you know. And I 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.559 was also looking at Beyonce and I didn't understand back 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.680 then that you know that that's the fake. I thought 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.839 that was her hair, and I my brain, yeah, that 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:04.920 ain't her hair. That's a whole week that lady was wearing. 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:10.160 But those blonde roots are not naturally that color and 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.960 certainly not growing out of that scalp exactly. I would 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:17.400 look at those magazines, magazines in the you know, in 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:19.880 that hairplace where I would go to, and I'd be like, 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.400 I want to look like Beyonce. Well I don't. I 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:25.760 just like, okay, so you're you're wanting to look like Beyonce. 0:11:25.920 --> 0:11:29.400 You're relaxing your hair, You're trying to to emulate to 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.440 some extent your mother. At what point what happens that 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.280 sort of like wakes you up, shakes you from this? 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.959 I can tell you exactly what happened. So I was 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:43.199 going to friends, and I was so excited to spend 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:46.080 my summer in friends. I'm like sixteen years old, and 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.800 I'm like so ready, and I'm I've been like saving 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:50.960 up and like I've been excited, and I, you know, 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.840 go to the place to get my hair relaxed, you know, 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:55.520 by the way by a black woman. I just want 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.080 to stress it out. I want to stress that I 0:11:57.080 --> 0:11:58.920 was a black African woman. I want to stress it 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:00.640 out because I want you get to know that I 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.280 trusted her, you know, I had so much trust in her. 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:06.960 She relaxed and it looks amazing. I look like Beyonce. 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.480 It's absolutely wonderful. And I go home and I start 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.880 touching it, you know, and swinging in back and forth. 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:17.360 And then suddenly I realized that, like my hair is 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:23.920 falling off, and I'm like the probably from I don't know. 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.360 You know, you make excuses when you're desperate, so and 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:28.360 I keep like touching it and more hair is falling 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.520 off and more hair is falling off, and then I realized, 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:33.920 I'm losing my hair, this big burn it all down, 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.600 like I'm gonna be bold. So by the time I 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:41.160 made it to France, I was basically bold, and I 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:44.840 had not cars. And yeah, and when we were when 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:47.360 we say bald, because I want to be clear, when 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:51.400 you say bald, I assumed there were still long strands 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:54.920 hanging on and then just the sies, it was really 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:56.800 burnt on top. So I looked like, you know, I 0:12:56.840 --> 0:13:00.320 had a mullet, but like like you know those like 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:02.400 middle aged man who are like losing their hair but 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:04.960 they want to save it like that. That was yeah, 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:08.320 George GA stands it. You had a real like Larry David, 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:12.760 George Coastance David. Yes, that's what I was like. Fuck, 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:16.800 that is that is tragic, especially if you win in 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:20.400 and pointed at a magazine of Beyonce, who I assume 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.080 is not bald under there. I don't know what what 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.480 our natural hair really looks like, but I'm gonna go 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:30.640 not Larry David. Yeah, no, it was. That was heartbreaking. 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.080 And in the summer. In the summer, like in the 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:36.520 winter you can hide it, but in the summer you 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:40.240 cannot hide it. So you heard you? You show up 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:45.120 your Bald and France, which is a great film, by 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:48.360 the way, baldin France. It's a lovely film that I'm 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:52.840 hoping to produce this summer. But you're you're bald and France. 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.280 What do you do? Do you shave it all off? 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:57.960 Or you do you fully commit? No? I am I 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.120 am doing the middle age guy. I'm trying to preserve 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:06.319 the last remaining Oh yeah, of course I can totally. 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:09.599 By the way, I can totally. Um. Really, I to 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.200 sympathize with with men who lose their hair, like you 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.880 know from that experience. Yeah, I don't know. You then 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:20.040 thinking this will never grow back, like I'm just gonna 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.880 be I'm gonna have to like trump this ship from 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.600 now on. Oh wow, I didn't know. I didn't think that. 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:28.320 I was very much in the moment. I was thinking 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:31.080 I am bold now, and that's a problem. I wasn't 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.440 thinking like two three years from now. I was wearing 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:38.160 a lot of scarfs. When people ask I think at 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:40.200 some point, you know, I'm sixteen and I have so more. 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.800 There was also like a level of embarrassment that I 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.480 did the relaxer and this happened to me. I cannot 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.280 even explain. It was like a level that I would 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:53.880 rather tell people they had cancer to admit what I've 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:59.720 done cancer. Well, cancer is a hero's journey. That's that's 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:04.280 some body fighting through something. You volunteered to have your 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:09.520 your hair turned into a horse shoe, that is, that's 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:13.960 that's a fool's journey if nothing else mm hmm. So 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:17.000 from then on I was thinking about it. I had 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:18.640 the whole similar to think about it. As I was 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:21.760 putting my scarves in my head and I was like, 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:24.760 who would come up with the product like this? Like why? 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.000 Why would you want to do why would you want 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:28.920 to raise this? Why would you want to do this 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:33.480 to women? Like why? And that product is evil and 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:37.160 burns your hair? And so you're sitting there, you go, 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.680 who would come up with such an evil product? Who 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.480 would want to hurt when? And then you put your 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:49.280 hands together in a triangle and you said, the white 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:52.480 devil is the only person I can think of who 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:55.960 would be this this evil? Is that where we're at? Absolutely, 0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.200 first they convinced you that you need to have straight hair, 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:03.440 and then they'll show you a path of evil to 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:08.800 achieve it. And is their plan to to just make 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:12.560 you less because I guess this is circling back to 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:16.760 the original question. Is there their plan with this brainwashing 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.960 and sort of their evil, uh misdeeds? Is it to 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:25.600 just make you less black, to make you feel less confident? What? 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:32.760 What is the ultimate goal of their dastardly efforts to 0:16:32.920 --> 0:16:38.400 make you feel less confident, to make you feel um 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:45.720 powerless in this world? And uh, to make you distracted 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:49.120 because you're huge. You're so worried about your hair, you 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:53.400 don't have time to worry about other things in the world. Sure, 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.680 I can't work on climate change if I've got to 0:16:56.760 --> 0:17:02.000 keep calmbing over you know exactly like I truly we 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:06.160 could have resolved what's happening to the polar bears if 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:10.760 only I weren't sitting with like these massive ball spots 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:15.320 from the severe. We would only have electric cars in 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:21.399 this world if it wasn't for relaxers. This is devastating news. 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.359 If true. I don't know that we can necessarily prove 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:27.480 it yet, but I'm excited to be following this journey 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.960 with you. Because it seems like the white man is 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:34.320 the root cause for all things terrible, and that's really 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:37.399 the major theme of this podcast. Again, I don't know 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:40.160 how familiar you are, but we truly walk away from 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.720 every episode and we say fuck you white devil, and uh, 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:47.200 that's that's usually the end, I think. So you're right 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:50.679 on track, you're doing great. Oh yeah, thank you, thank you, 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:55.320 thank you. And I just think it was the chances 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:57.439 before we go to break. This is the last question 0:17:57.480 --> 0:17:59.879 I asked, what's the chances your mom's listening to this? 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.560 Is she a big fan of of your comedy? Where 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:07.000 she at in all of them? My mother doesn't speak 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:10.960 English very well, so I you know, I am fearless, 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:18.000 and everything I say about her and great my childhood 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:21.440 and all that, she's perfect. So there's no chance she's 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:24.280 gonna throw this into Google translation, and even if it does, 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:28.840 it's going to be mostly unintelligible afterwards. Yes, exactly, I 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:31.639 have no I have no fear perfect. Well, then we're 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:34.320 gonna keep talking ship. We're gonna come back after this 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:37.159 break with more Bianca, cristal about and more. My mama 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:54.800 told me and we are that we don't say the 0:18:54.960 --> 0:19:00.000 n word around two year old. Yeah, we're back here 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:02.399 with more Bianca Christo vile more. My mama told me, 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:07.320 we're still talking about the possibility that relaxers were used 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:12.360 to brain wash black people by the white devil. This 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:15.680 is the conversation we're having. Do you think, uh, it's 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:19.760 it's all relaxers or they're like specific ones that are 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:25.520 like especially cooked up by you know, white witchcraft as 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:28.919 it were. Well, I am very excited for these for 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:33.080 this particular research, because we already know that most hair 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:36.200 you know, most hair companies that black women use are 0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:39.280 not black owned, right, so it's very interesting to find 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:43.280 these relaxing you know, these relaxers are owned by black people. 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:45.800 And if they are not, I say, all those that 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:48.359 are not owned by black people are definitely part of 0:19:48.359 --> 0:19:50.960 my conspiracy. If there's one or two that are owned 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.280 by black people, those might be the ones that you 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:56.360 guys are safe to use, Okay. I like, okay, you're 0:19:56.480 --> 0:19:59.159 you're saying, Look, if they're owned by white people, you 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:03.920 can't trust them, period, There's no no other explanation. Uh. 0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:07.080 And if they are owned by black people, then maybe 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:12.440 there's some consideration we can give them. Maybe and there's 0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:17.880 a hard him on that. Maybe hard. All right, let's 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:20.800 talk a little bit about what you're saying, because that's 0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:25.080 not completely untrue. There there's a fair amount of evidence 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:28.600 that says that even the products, the the ethnic hair 0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:32.640 care stuff that you often find in your your Walgreens 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:37.399 locked up under heavy lock and key for some reason 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:40.320 because they're worried us are gonna run run in and 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:45.159 steal hair grease and and rung and slick hair that 0:20:45.200 --> 0:20:48.560 we couldn't afford. H is often owned by some larger 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:53.080 white conglomerate, i e. Dark and Lovely and UH and 0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:57.280 Optimum Care, both of which are black hair care products, 0:20:57.280 --> 0:21:02.000 are actually owned by Loreal, which couldn't be wider as 0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:08.200 as I understand, Yes, exactly now to your original question, 0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:11.399 or rather your original conspiracy theory of the fact that 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:16.680 or or suggestion that white people invented relaxers, I am 0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:20.360 in the unfortunate position to tell you that you are 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:25.160 not correct on that one. Relaxers were actually invented by 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:29.800 a dude named Garrett Morgan. Garrett Morgan you may actually 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:32.679 know he's a notable name in black history because he 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:37.199 is not only the major inventor of relaxers. But he 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:40.440 is also credited as the inventor of the smoke hood, 0:21:40.800 --> 0:21:43.720 which is the predecessor for the gas mask, and he 0:21:43.880 --> 0:21:47.560 is also the inventor of the stoplight. So this motherfucker 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:52.080 was all over the place with his So he was 0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:54.840 working on a stoplight. Are you serious the stoplight that 0:21:54.880 --> 0:21:57.960 we're using right now for cars? He he invented the 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:00.520 greg and he was like, you know what, let's relaxed 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:07.440 that what. Well, this is where it gets even crazier 0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:09.879 because I agree with you, there's no part of me 0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:12.440 that wants to put my faith in a man who 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:16.880 invented the stoplight to then work on black hair care products. 0:22:16.960 --> 0:22:19.960 That's not It's not usually how I approach my hair 0:22:19.960 --> 0:22:22.880 care products. It's like, I bet that dude who knew 0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:25.960 to put the red above the yellow is uh, is 0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:29.200 somebody I should trust with with all of my ship 0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:33.000 on my head. Now here's where it gets interesting, because 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:37.760 he invented relaxers, or rather the serum as it were, 0:22:38.160 --> 0:22:41.439 for relaxers, but he didn't mean to. It was actually 0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:45.880 a complete accident. He was making a lubricant for sewing 0:22:45.960 --> 0:22:49.639 needles in a sewing machine, like a new special lubricant 0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:52.480 that was helped to helping to make the needles move 0:22:52.560 --> 0:22:56.560 smoother and faster. And the product, the sort of like 0:22:56.720 --> 0:23:00.879 chemical he created, he then spilled on his arm and 0:23:01.880 --> 0:23:05.760 all on his arm here, yes, so it lands on 0:23:05.800 --> 0:23:08.080 his arm hair. And then he noticed this that his 0:23:08.240 --> 0:23:11.399 arm hair gets silky smoothed out of nowhere. This little 0:23:11.480 --> 0:23:14.600 chemical makes his arm hair silky smooth, and he goes, 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:18.000 that's that's something that's pretty cool. And then this is 0:23:18.000 --> 0:23:20.960 where this motherfucker turns into a real sick oh, because 0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:24.320 he takes that product and then he says, I want 0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:27.520 to see if this actually works in you know, a 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:31.560 grander scale, And so he starts experimenting on his neighbor's 0:23:31.640 --> 0:23:36.080 dog with the chemical. He takes his neighbor's dog and 0:23:36.119 --> 0:23:40.560 he starts dipping the dog, and he starts dipping the 0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:45.240 dog headfirst, and the dog it's just like a golden retreat. 0:23:45.359 --> 0:23:48.680 But that's already a white like that dog has straight 0:23:48.720 --> 0:23:52.320 hair or is it? Apparently, and I'm cautious to say 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:53.840 it the way that I planned to say it, but 0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:56.440 this is also the choice I made. Apparently it was 0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:59.240 a real nappy headed dog. He found a real nappy 0:23:59.280 --> 0:24:02.680 headed neighbor's dog, and he started dipping the dog and 0:24:02.800 --> 0:24:05.159 he and he noticed that that dog came out with 0:24:05.320 --> 0:24:10.160 gorgeous silk locks that that previously did not exist. And 0:24:10.280 --> 0:24:14.560 then he started to experiment on himself. He started putting 0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:18.280 the products in his own hair and uh and smoothing 0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:21.720 his own hair, straightening his own hair, and then he 0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:26.160 started marketing it to the rest of the U. Yes, 0:24:26.760 --> 0:24:30.800 so this guy is black, yeah, scary, very glad or 0:24:30.800 --> 0:24:35.240 whatever it was the early nineteen hundreds. Okay, show men, 0:24:35.320 --> 0:24:38.800 can you show me your hands real quick? My hand? Yeah, yeah, 0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:40.200 I know. I want to see I want to see 0:24:40.200 --> 0:24:43.920