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Speaker 1: Fifteen minute morning show podcast coming up, but we got

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Speaker 1: to talk about Blue Apron. Thanks to Blue Apron. The

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Speaker 1: next fifteen minutes around them. Every Wednesday, my Blue Apron

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Speaker 1: box arrives full of fresh produce, all measured out so

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Speaker 1: I don't have any waste when I cook these meals

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Speaker 1: that their chefs come up with. They give you this

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Speaker 1: easy to read card with every meal, and every meal

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Speaker 1: is under ten dollars if you actually learn how to

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Speaker 1: cook from them. And like I said, they're ingredients are

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Speaker 1: from right up the street. They're all from farms in

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Speaker 1: your region. It's affordable, like I said, less than ten

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Speaker 1: dollars per meal. Lots of varieties, new recipes every week.

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Speaker 1: They're flexible with what you want. If you don't want fish,

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Speaker 1: they won't send fish. If you need to take off

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Speaker 1: a week or two or the three or four days,

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Speaker 1: just do it. They don't charge you, and guaranteed freshness

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Speaker 1: every single meal. They do the heavy lifting, They do

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Speaker 1: all the shopping, and like I said, they don't give

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Speaker 1: you too much food seed to waste. Any food. You

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Speaker 1: just chop it, saute it, and eat it. It's so delicious.

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Speaker 1: Check out this week's menu. Get your first three meals

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Speaker 1: for free and free shipping by going to blue Apron

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Speaker 1: dot com slash fifteen as in fifteen minute morning show

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Speaker 1: Blue a Bring dot com slash what would you talk

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Speaker 1: about on your on your podcast present morning show? Do

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Speaker 1: something scary? And Brody left us very quickly because it's

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Speaker 1: opening day for baseball, and so they just put their

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Speaker 1: jackets on left before the show ended, and we're like,

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Speaker 1: where you going? How we're going? Game doesn't start for

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Speaker 1: another four hours. Yeah, but taking like doing his eyebrows

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Speaker 1: takes like twenty minutes each those guys, so they're like

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Speaker 1: pretty I don't know, they just want to look their best.

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Speaker 1: So we have Nate in the room. Yeah, Sam Beth,

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Speaker 1: Danielle Garrett, that's us. I don't think we've ever had

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Speaker 1: this combination before. Did you know? Interesting fact which I

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Speaker 1: encourage you all to come up with, an interesting fact

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Speaker 1: as I van for her that when you shuffle a

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Speaker 1: deck of cards, the odds are whatever order that deck

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Speaker 1: of cards is in is the first time ever in history,

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Speaker 1: since cards have been invented, that that deck has been

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Speaker 1: in that particular order. Really, because there's fifty two cards

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Speaker 1: in a deck of cards, and if you shuffle them.

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Speaker 1: It's almost certainty that that is the first time that

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Speaker 1: order has ever been in that order with any deck

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Speaker 1: of cards anywhere. Think about that. Wow, think about that

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Speaker 1: wearing conversation. Did that come up though? Are you sitting

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Speaker 1: at a bar. Yeah, these are the lines that I

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Speaker 1: come up with before I go to the bars to

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Speaker 1: talk to women. This is real. Then they do. Then

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Speaker 1: they do exactly what Bethany did. Okay, thanks my friends,

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Speaker 1: thanks for the drink. Okay, I have a fun fact.

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Speaker 1: Let's pick out fun facts to pick up boys and bars.

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Speaker 1: The human eye is so sensitive that if Earth were flat,

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Speaker 1: you could spot a candle flickering at night from up

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Speaker 1: to thirty miles away. That's pretty impressive. We should all

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Speaker 1: make out fun facts to pick up poison bars. I

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Speaker 1: got another one. If the based on scale, if our

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Speaker 1: solar system was the size of a quarter, the Milky

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Speaker 1: Way is the size of the United States of America. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so that is how small from the Sun to Neptune

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Speaker 1: is is the size of a quarter, and put that

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Speaker 1: quarter down on the ground. The rest of the Milky

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Speaker 1: Way is the United States of America. That's how mad

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Speaker 1: I got one. Billy Goat urinate on their own heads

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Speaker 1: is to smell more attractive to femis That's I don't know.

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Speaker 1: If I can get my stream, then it's big enough

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Speaker 1: for you to pee on your head. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if any problems. Did you know movie trailers were originally

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Speaker 1: shown at the end of movies, hence the name trailers.

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Speaker 1: Who would stay at the end of the movie though,

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Speaker 1: people who love Marvel? Oh my gosh, yes, something so

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Speaker 1: the character. That's exactly what I'm going Jr. Eating. Wait,

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Speaker 1: did you know during your lifetime you will produce enough

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Speaker 1: saliva to fill two swimming pools? People, we're talking one

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Speaker 1: of those swimming pools. I don't know, you know? Having

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Speaker 1: KFC Kentucky Fried Chicken. He's a Christmas tradition in Japan. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not. I'm not making it up like I am.

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Speaker 1: Straight up, this is a This is a fact. I'm

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Speaker 1: so entertained by this. Cows have best friends. Who are

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Speaker 1: their best friends other cows? Yeah, they're cows. Damn it.

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Speaker 1: I was hoping you're gonna say they are really drawn

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Speaker 1: to porcupine. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

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Speaker 1: A group of a group of Kathleen's is called a chardonnay.

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Speaker 1: A flock of crows is known as a murder. Really,

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Speaker 1: that's someone dropped the ball. I feel like on that one.

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Speaker 1: Did you know Michael Angelo burned all of his drawings

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Speaker 1: so people wouldn't know that he had to practice to

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Speaker 1: achieve perfection? Oh what a smart man. My life's a lie,

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Speaker 1: It's perfect. Did I tell you guys? I saw ducks

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Speaker 1: having sex? Is that called ducking? You've been talking about

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Speaker 1: that a lot wild animals having sex. I've never seen

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Speaker 1: wild animals having sex. I just know. So what do

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Speaker 1: I look like? Described as pretty? It looked pretty brutal.

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Speaker 1: Did you come in mid coitas or did you see

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Speaker 1: that I saw? I saw from mounting to almost drowning.

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Speaker 1: How like? How did he convince her that she was

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Speaker 1: the one to be mounted? Uh? You know, I came

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Speaker 1: in right as the courtship dance apparently had ended. And

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Speaker 1: then I just see these two ducks kind of like,

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Speaker 1: you know, fussing around, and then the one duck gets

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Speaker 1: on top of the other duck pushes her underneath the water,

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Speaker 1: and he's like kind of flapping his wings a little bit,

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Speaker 1: and he was rearing up a little bit like doing

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Speaker 1: a wheelie, like popping a wheelie on a bicycle. And

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Speaker 1: then I'm like, what happened to the other duck? And

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Speaker 1: then you see this head kind of pop up every

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Speaker 1: once in a while, and then he would take his

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Speaker 1: bill and like push the head underwater. It was like kinky.

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Speaker 1: But then it lasted for about thirty seconds, and then

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Speaker 1: they both got up and then they both washed off,

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Speaker 1: and then one float in one direction, the other one

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Speaker 1: floated the other direction. There's like sex between humans. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I wonder if she's pregnant. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy. I've never seen almost did this take the

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Speaker 1: whole the whole? Oh god, I'd say thirty seconds to

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Speaker 1: a minute, that's it. Yeah, she probably won't call him back.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting it, but I kind of regret I

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Speaker 1: was sitting there. I didn't have my phone out or

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Speaker 1: anything like. God, I really wish I would have filmed this.

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Speaker 1: You know, situate it's privacy for them. You're trying to

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Speaker 1: film it, would say they wouldn't be doing it in

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Speaker 1: the middle of central parks. They don't know you people

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Speaker 1: people watching people that cheat these nature documentaries. They sitting

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Speaker 1: like a blind for days on end, hoping ducks have

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Speaker 1: sex in front of him. Here I am on a

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Speaker 1: park benching in Central Park, and I'm like, just happens,

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Speaker 1: this is happening. There are other animals that have sex

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Speaker 1: for pleasure. I don't think ducks do. I think monkeys

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Speaker 1: kind of kind of monkeys, pinobos, pobos do, which is

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Speaker 1: you're also your favorite brand? They have threesomes, white faced

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Speaker 1: capuchin monkeys, um a lot of primates. I know chimpanzees.

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Speaker 1: They've seen female chimpanzees have like fifteen guy fifteen male

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Speaker 1: suitors in a day. Wow, that sounds exhausting. Like I

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Speaker 1: watched that video, I cannot swipe right that quickly. A

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Speaker 1: female lion may mate one hundred times per day over

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Speaker 1: a period of about a week with multiple partners, and

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Speaker 1: they think that that is more than necessary for conception.

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Speaker 1: So it's it might be due to pleasure. I guess

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Speaker 1: humans aren't the only thing animals that have sex for fun?

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Speaker 1: Do you think the animals talk about us when we

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Speaker 1: have sex? Like your cat and your dog? Definitely? Does

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Speaker 1: anyone else refuse to ever have sex in front of

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Speaker 1: their animal? Yeah? No, I would kick Oliver out of

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Speaker 1: the room. But my favorite time was when I had

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Speaker 1: a gentleman caller over and we had finished expressing our

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Speaker 1: feelings to each other physically, and he was lying on

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Speaker 1: my bed as was the style of my ankles. He

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Speaker 1: was lying. He was lying on my bed like naked,

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Speaker 1: just on top of the sheets or whatever. And Oliver,

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Speaker 1: my cat, twenty pounds of cat, just saunders into the bedroom,

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Speaker 1: jumps up on the bed, walks between his legs, does

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Speaker 1: the turning around, turning around, turning around, and then flops

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Speaker 1: onto his penis, puts one elbow onto his thigh as

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Speaker 1: the saying, you just did her, but she's my Wow.

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Speaker 1: Who else had the same joke in your head? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I put that past your animal in particular. He was

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Speaker 1: not impressed. No, he's very wise and trust him. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't like animals in the bedroom. It's really well,

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Speaker 1: especially during sex. Remember a dog licked part of my body?

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Speaker 1: Which one the one is anyway? Really? That was I'm like,

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Speaker 1: and talk about you talk about a mood killer. Maybe

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Speaker 1: one thing if a person did it female, not that

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Speaker 1: there's anything wrong. It's not like I would expect some

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Speaker 1: random guy to just show up in my bedroom. And

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Speaker 1: that part of my body, you do Tommy in a

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Speaker 1: top hat that pops out from behind to top of

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Speaker 1: the I'll just come out check out sight. But we

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Speaker 1: call him straight Nate. He has to clarify check out,

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Speaker 1: I said, person, but you know I meant a woman, right,

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Speaker 1: And then he like goes back under the bed. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So anyway, the dog licked it. Yeah, alright, you gotta

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Speaker 1: lick it. Your turn. Let's talk about something else. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm good. You have animals, You have to have had

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Speaker 1: a similar you have a weef to weeks lost him

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Speaker 1: off the bed, was like, George, my my my current

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Speaker 1: dog gets angry, so he can no longer be in

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Speaker 1: the room because I think he thinks like someone's getting hurt,

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Speaker 1: and he just yells. He just barks the whole time.

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Speaker 1: It really is nothing quite a mood killer, like your

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Speaker 1: dog barking at you, a pet making noise during that

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Speaker 1: with his dog and he and I were making out

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Speaker 1: and his dog would not stop barking at me, and

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Speaker 1: finally he was just like stop, stop, stop, stop stop

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Speaker 1: to the dog, and she wouldn't stop. And finally I

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Speaker 1: had to leave, get out of the car, and that

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Speaker 1: dog one that was all she wanted to. Don't even focus.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't even cute. It was just like, okay, really

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Speaker 1: that dog was trying to tell you who's boss. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: pretty much. I kicked my dog out of the bathroom too.

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Speaker 1: My dog's always in the bathroom and it's like, I

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Speaker 1: feel weird being in the bathroom when my dogs like

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Speaker 1: on the floor sleeping. So I'm like, get out of here.

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Speaker 1: Who was there first? The dog? The dog was there first.

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Speaker 1: I only have like two places to pee in the house.

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Speaker 1: You can only be in one of them, exactly. Oral

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Speaker 1: sex is known amongst short nosed fruit bats. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: guess it would have to be ups gracious that. Have

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Speaker 1: the kids ever walked in on you? No, thank goodness,

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Speaker 1: that you know of, Not that I know of. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think they would know. My kids. They would call

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Speaker 1: me out and say, say, do you guys lock the door?

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Speaker 1: You've never locked the door. We just kind of know

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Speaker 1: when they're when when it's safe. My parents on their

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Speaker 1: bedroom door, they had that that child proof thing you

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Speaker 1: put on the door knob. Yeah, that was the first

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Speaker 1: thing I learned how to operate. As are easy to

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Speaker 1: figure out because you have to put pressure. There's a

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Speaker 1: little hole, so you put pressure on the door knob

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Speaker 1: through this little hole and then you're able to turn

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Speaker 1: the door knob. But for a child, you just grabbed

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Speaker 1: this thing that's around the when they on the door,

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Speaker 1: it's still there. Now I'm not even kidding. We're all

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Speaker 1: out of the house and that thing is still on

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Speaker 1: the door. If they took it off, they wouldn't know

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Speaker 1: how to open the This is a life fear of mine.

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Speaker 1: What the possibility of ever walking in on your parents.

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Speaker 1: I think I heard my parents like I heard them,

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Speaker 1: but I walked in on them. I just always believe

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Speaker 1: they never did it. Yeah, yeah, mine never had sex.

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Speaker 1: I was the last time the immaculate concept to see

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Speaker 1: you all down and tell you how this works. They

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Speaker 1: had sex. My sister don't know that, Garrett. One of

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Speaker 1: my sisters is adopted, and I am jealous of that

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Speaker 1: fact that she doesn't have to picture our parents having

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Speaker 1: sex to have her. You don't have to worry about

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Speaker 1: what I got to imagine. It's an adopted child. It's

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Speaker 1: it's not even just creepy to think about them having sex,

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Speaker 1: much less having sex to have you, but just having

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Speaker 1: sex period. Don't think about it. Sister on the phone.

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Speaker 1: Let's call her up. So lucky you don't have to

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Speaker 1: worry about that. Is there a Hallmark cark for that? Sorry?

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Speaker 1: You it? Love mom and dad? Love mom and dad.

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Speaker 1: We love each other very much. We were doing a

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Speaker 1: special kind of love the business. What inappropriate Hallmark car

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Speaker 1: Those already exist. What you want to say, but don't

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Speaker 1: have the guts to. That's the section. It's called the

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Speaker 1: liquor store right next to the anniversary congratulations. Ever heard

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Speaker 1: my parents either said having sex? Oh? Thank god, don't.

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Speaker 1: Don't got to take five points for I thought I

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Speaker 1: saw it at the corner of my eye. I thought

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Speaker 1: we were twelve seconds out, But we're a minute and

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Speaker 1: twelve seconds out. Yeah, so my peripheral just failed me terribly.

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Speaker 1: When's the last time, Sam, you think your parents had sex?

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Speaker 1: I have your mom's phone number. I'm a text. Actually,

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Speaker 1: don't need my birthday because you don't get sex. Please.

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Speaker 1: Dad's getting some tonight. Your most so smoking. You know

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Speaker 1: he's trying that your parents. I could totally see having sex.

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Speaker 1: I thinking about your parents having sex right now. I'm

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Speaker 1: there too. I'm watching them to right. My picks started

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Speaker 1: to sweat that means they're doing no. I want you

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Speaker 1: to call them both at ten o'clock. Now, okay, fine,

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Speaker 1: Well I'm going there for dinner and now I can't

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Speaker 1: leave until it's tomorrow because I need to say I

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Speaker 1: know what's going to be for dessert. Hey Sammy, better

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Speaker 1: time tonight take turns with my Cope, since you're the

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Speaker 1: ones doing this to me and he's going to wear

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Speaker 1: someone probably one of your outfit I'm gonna throw up

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Speaker 1: at dinner and not even gonna wash it, sister. The

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Speaker 1: Fifteen Minute Morning Show