WEBVTT - Turtles on Vacation 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:07.240 Well, welcome back to amiss. I'm your host. Kevin is 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:11.920 that yes, I will see the Batman in the theater 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:16.079 next week, but also no, I will not condone it 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:20.239 being a three hour superhero film. But I digress. Let's 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:22.640 meet our come, shall we in no particular order. Let's 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.560 quickly check in with Chris Alvarado for his Q one 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:32.599 of report. Captain Alvarado, Holy ship, we are making bucks 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:37.640 bucks Bucks bucks. Q one beat Q be the other 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:40.920 tool until you know the numbers. But all I'm saying 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:45.120 is we're looking good. We are. We are in the red, green, black. 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:49.479 Thank you for that. Chris. Hey, there's Craig Kakowski. Kacow, 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.040 what is an item in your home that you've never 0:00:52.159 --> 0:01:01.280 used and if honest most likely never will look behind you. Yeah, 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:05.160 we'll let that be. We'll let that be video only. 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:10.119 So uh so people, the people merely listening can use 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:17.160 their imaginations. But yeah, there's a way one. But it's 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:21.679 very prominent in the house. Like I don't I don't 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:24.920 know where I would put it even right, the perfect 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:31.399 spot for it clearly has already been chosen. Yeah, I mean, 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.039 if you're gonna block a door, what else would you 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:37.920 use Look over there, it's James Heeney Duke Johnson. James. 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.520 If you could have only one flavor of ice cream 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:43.000 for the rest of your life, what will it be? 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:46.919 It's easy. There's only one flavor ever buy. It's peanut 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:51.080 butter chocolate caramel. First of all, I love that combination. 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:53.480 But I am very very sad that you only allow 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:57.600 yourself one flavor. You're entire Okay, Actually I can't believe it. 0:01:57.600 --> 0:01:59.960 I lie that I buy other ones, but that's thee 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:03.040 I buy for me. I also buy a mint chocolate 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:06.559 chip that's for Aaron. I also enjoyed the other flavor 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:08.560 I get. You got the two covered, and now please 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:14.160 welcome back. A tool sing, a tool way better than 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:17.919 the tool. Favorite class in college and why uh it's 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:22.000 financial accounting. Actually had a great professor, Professor Jennings um 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:24.359 he Actually I believe he won a professor award that year. 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:27.680 Uh is very exciting. I love Yeah, I love the books. 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:30.400 And uh, I knew exactly what Chris was talking about 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:32.239 when he was talking about He was probably talking about 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:35.959 Q one Q one, but he could also compare to 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:38.760 Q four. It depends on which quarterly system Chris is on, 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:41.919 which is also a good question. What was that professor's name? Again? 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:45.240 Who professors? And he won the award like a like 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:47.359 a teacher of the year in the business school award. Yeah, 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:55.639 a professor award the profits. It's been so long and last, 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:58.320 but no more trips to Catalina. If you think at 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:03.120 least it's Mark Gagliardi, Hello grab bag Leardi. Can you 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:09.640 explain nutella? Please? Yes, nutella. Imagine if peanut butter and 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:14.760 Hershey's syrup instead of being layered, we're just massed together 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:18.720 by a five year old and just like and then 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:22.040 finger painted on top of a bagel. That's what you 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:25.920 put it on, right, a bagel. I mean, I've seen 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.520 it on so many things. I just never understood it's 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:31.400 fair because it's a faint it's a faint taste of 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:35.000 like a hazel nut. Not really. They say hazel nuts spread, 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:37.640 but it is clearly chocolate frosting with a hint of 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.960 hazel It does confuse me. It's wildly popular, clearly, it's 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:44.520 been around for for decades, but I never understood the 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:47.480 all in commitment to hazel nut. Though I'm a hazel 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:49.480 nut fan. The coffee I people make fun of me. 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:52.839 I only buy flavored coffee. Uh, and I frequently get 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:55.000 the hazel nut. It's just that that little hint. I 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.520 just like that little hint. Like I said, it's a 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:00.280 wildly successful company and they and it's all based on 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:03.440 people's enjoyment of hazel nut. I just didn't realize. I mean, 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:05.920 you know, when pitching to let's get on with the show. 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:08.920 All of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:10.960 emails or from our patron v I p s to 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.440 become a patron supporter of the show, enjoy exclusive content 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.600 like standalone bonus scenes we or a video recording of 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.200 this very session, or at the highest level of the 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:22.360 Alco maniac you could join one of these zoom sessions, 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:26.480 as we did earlier today with three a Maniacs. That's right, 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.600 that was so much fun. They really was um and 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:31.599 we're gonna do a lot more of them on a 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.880 continuing basis. We'd love to hear from you. But if 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.240 you do want to support through the Patreon, just go 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:39.760 to patron dot com slash alchemy. This it's that simple. 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:41.359 But if you'd like to just send in a scene 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:44.880 suggestion any old time or a comment or a question 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:48.720 about I don't know James Heney's attire right to us 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.200 at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. It's Alchemy 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:57.400 this cemology, wow, Greig. Scene one comes from listener, in fact, 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.919 Eric Johnson, who wrote to us at that very email. 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:04.080 Dear Mr the Kevin Pollock, I just started listening to 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:07.440 the newest EPP of Alchemy this. I paused it right 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:11.400 after you told listeners me to send in more email suggestions. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:14.120 So here's another email for you to not read on 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:19.039 the podcast in your face. Eric Johnson got him bamn. 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:25.640 Scene suggestions, Turtles on vacation, lots of love the real 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:30.600 Eric Freemont, No, not Fremont, Alabama. Honey, did you get 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:36.880 the Chase Lounge? Did you reserve the chaise Lounge? Yeah? Okay, 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:39.719 because you know if we don't do it early before 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.000 the sun comes up, then the fucking humans come down 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.320 and there's no more Chase lounges. We got it, We 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:48.640 got it, Okay, baby, babe, this isn't inclusive resort. I 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:52.320 need you so don't tip, no tipping, no nothing. I 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:56.040 want you to not worry about finances for once. Okay, listen, 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.359 you already won, Professor of the year. I got my profits, 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:03.000 So now is your time to just relax. I can't. 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:04.760 And even if we see if we see a couple 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:06.640 of humans, they're gonna want to pick you up, touch you, 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:10.040 so be it. I can't stop counting the number of 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:14.159 professors that did not win the prophet I know, I 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:15.839 know we need to be Oh look, look, look, look, 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:20.600 here comes some complimentary cabbage. Good morning. How do you 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:24.839 do this morning, professor babe? Mr honey, Yes, you're saying 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:28.280 cabbage for you? And can I get you any drinks 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:31.800 to start your morning off right? Do you have any 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:35.320 pound water? I can get pound water for you, no problem. 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:39.920 I'm curious what's a lava flow? What exactly is that? 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:42.800 A lava flow is a drink. It's I hate to 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:46.600 say this because I don't want to be accused of favoritism, 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:48.760 but a lava flow is really a drink that we 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:53.599 only serve to the humans here only only specifically it 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:56.800 is for the humans. I apologize. It is a delicious drink, 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.800 but baby, it might be bad. It might be bad 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:02.520 for you. Well, I did pay for the inclusive, the 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:07.680 all inclusive, and attempt to get a drink, and I'm 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:10.640 hearing exclusive. I'm just telling you that it is in 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:12.960 fact bad for you. There is a there's an ingredient 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.000 in a lava flow that is that is fatal to turn. 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.560 Everyone clearly knows what's best for me, even though I've 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:21.760 got a profitt and I can't imagine you. They'll take 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:26.840 He'll take a seltzer. Thank you. I would be right back. So, um, 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:29.480 the main thing is make sure the cart is right 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.920 outside the room you're cleaning. People like to take stuff 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:35.320 right off of it. The lotions. That's probably the number 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:39.119 one thing that goes all right, and but doesn't even matter. 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:43.840 It's like free, right, yeah, but it's like it can't 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:47.560 be that expensive. If somebody wants an extra lotion, if 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:49.400 they want extra, and of course we'll give it to them, 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:53.720 uh turrell. But we don't want to just encourage people 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:55.360 to take as many all right. I mean, I just 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:58.400 I wanted to work outside. There's a whole bunch of 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:03.200 areas outside this dungee halls aren't cool? Tell me about it. 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:07.880 Get some sunshine. Hey, sorry you guys, you're blocking my door. 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.640 I'd like to get into my room. Are you cleaning 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.120 my room right now? Is that what's happening. We were 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:18.440 just about to oh those lucians, Yeah, yeah, please takes 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:21.800 wonder if I can grab a couple of Yeah, I see, 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:25.320 there's already four on your table there. This will make six. 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:31.320 You do not need to know what I'm doing with him? Nope, okay. 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:33.320 I made sure that when I checked in we don't 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.160 have to share what we're doing with the luc See 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:36.760 the device in the back corner of your room, so 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:40.280 I won't ask any further questions. I appreciate that very much. 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:43.160 If you like kickboxing, let me know. All right, Well, 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:46.840 do have a good afternoon part of me? Did you 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:49.000 want to enjoy it? That's accusing by yourself? Or can 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:51.800 I join? Is that my husband's self up there? And 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:56.240 I just just gonna no, no, no, please please? Oh okay, 0:08:56.600 --> 0:09:01.319 oh out she it hurts so good. It's It's odd, 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:03.559 isn't it? Guy? Isn't it so? I could not have 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:09.000 noticed your a turtle? Yes? Yes, and you human? I'm 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:12.559 a human. Yeah, mostly mostly humans here, but there are 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:17.600 some uh you know, sentient animals here. Well. Yes, oh, 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:19.520 I'm so sorry. I did not mean to touch your leg. 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:23.840 That's weird, that's all right. Make yourself comfortable, just like 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:26.680 the jets are kind of pushing me around. I've I've 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:28.679 noticed you and your husband at dinner, like you're you're 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:30.679 doing the six o'clock dinner service, right, You guys are 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:36.600 consistently showing up around six that. Yes, that's very that's 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:39.640 exactly right. And you look winded when you get there. 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:42.600 It takes us a moment. It takes us so wild, 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.160 you know, the old They really should stagger it, you know, 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:48.560 to to accommodate for you know, for slower patrons. Thank you. 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:51.600 Or I always thinking what about one of those moving walkways? 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:54.640 That would be nice, That would be nice. So what 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:56.880 do you what do you? What do you do? I'm 0:09:56.880 --> 0:10:00.400 a consultant and I lecture a lectural of the world 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.600 on consulting. Is that a lot of flow you're drinking? 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:05.320 It is a love of flow. Would you like a sip? 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:08.640 I don't think I should. There's nuts eller in it? 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:13.959 What the peanut butter planed hazel nut thing? Yeah, I 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:17.160 don't know, I don't know what the excuse me, excuse 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:20.640 me a ms Mr honey, Mr Honey, I have I 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.800 have a note that was just handed to me from 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:26.920 professor Babe. Your husband's he's eyeing you from over there 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:30.400 and gave me this note. Oh gosh, let me see. 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:32.920 He does not seem very happy. I don't have my glasses. 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:36.760 Can you read this for me? Of course I don't 0:10:36.760 --> 0:10:39.000 speak very good turtle. But hold on, let me put 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:44.439 it in Google Translate. Thank you. Oh, it says who's he? 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:47.800 Let me clarify, are you you're a male turtle? You're 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:50.839 a male turtle. I'm terribly sorry. I cannot tell turtle 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:55.600 gender specifically. I've been calling you Mr honey this whole trip. 0:10:55.760 --> 0:11:00.000 I'm so sorry. If that's incorrect, it's fine, this is important. 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:06.080 Tell me if so, what do you think that machine was? 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:10.240 I don't know, Taryll, I don't know, but you gotta 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.600 be a little curious. It doesn't matter what it is. 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:15.920 It probably has something to do with all those lotions. 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.400 I bet it's a sex machine. All right. Well, we 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:21.880 don't number one rule here. When you work in the hallways, 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:26.520 you don't ask. Come on, you don't ask that guy. 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:29.000 That guy was begging for us to ask what that 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:33.040 machine was. No customers ever begging for us to ask. 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:36.160 I don't know where you work before, but things are different. 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:38.440 This is my first job. This is your first job, 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:42.280 this is my first job, and I'm crushing it. I'm 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:45.000 gonna be your boss in no time. All right. Well 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.200 that's good ambition, and we'd like to see that from 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.520 all our employees. Um. You know, there's a conference going 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:53.640 on at this hotel tonight and the keynote speaker is 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:56.840 gonna be speaking. He speaks all over the world, and 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:02.959 I think you might like it. Why because he talks 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:07.199 about getting what you want to do and achieving goals. 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.000 I got what I want to do and I'm achieving goals. 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.320 Maybe I should be a keynote speaker. Well I don't 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:18.520 think you just become a keynote speakers trying to grab 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:22.680 a couple of these lotions things. Oh my god, that 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:29.880 was incredible. Oh to have a lover who who actually 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:35.680 takes their time, it's that was so rewarding. And now 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:39.480 we cannot speak about this. Oh no, no, no, I'm sorry. 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:45.320 Uh oh god, you're driving me crazy. Like, um, I 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:50.959 understand you're speaking later tonight. Huh I'm supposed to. I 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.120 might just scrap everything I was gonna say and then 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:58.720 talk about what just happened that that, Like I didn't 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:00.440 I didn't even know how this was gonna work, and 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:04.480 you showed me. Oh well, I've yeah, I've spent time 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:10.719 with other humans. Um, you have housekeeping, hid Hi. I 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:17.200 just gonna coming so I'm gonna pick you up. I'm 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:21.240 butting your Hello, sh Hi, Is this a bad time? 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:24.000 You're yes, it's this is a bad time, but you're here. 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:28.360 You're here. Is that a tattoo of a tiger? Yes, 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.800 yes it is. I got this in Singapore. I was 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:36.520 lecturing and consulting there. Actually, no, I was consulting on 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:40.120 lecturing there. Very fancy, sounds, very exciting. It was. We 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:41.559 were just going to clean the room. Is that okay? 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:44.839 There's another tattoo on that side too, Okay, Oh yeah, 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:49.480 that's uh that's a jackal fighting fighting the tiger. Wow. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.400 He was gonna make the bed over here. Okay, don't don't, 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:57.800 don't get too too close there. Huh. You don't need 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:01.360 to make that side of the bed. Uh you but 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:05.880 you No, I'm not falling for that. There's something on 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:07.719 somebody in your room, sir. We'll take care of what 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.800 you mean something? What do you mean something? I don't know, 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:14.080 it's under the cover, is all right? Okay? I'm begging 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:21.560 you up, begging. Oh my god, turtle. Yes, it's a turtle. 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:23.880 Who's a guest. Who's a guest at this resort? Thank you? 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:30.680 A turtle? Who I just fucked? What? Uh? Professor, babe? 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.640 If you don't mind me asking, M you've you've been 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:37.400 crying underneath this chess lounge all day. Thanks for noticing. 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.800 I didn't want to bother anyone. I hope I haven't 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:41.920 been a disturbance. No, you've been on disturbance. I just 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:44.400 want to come by and see if you need a drink. 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:47.240 Do you know what I could use is some sort 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:53.480 of uh firearm? I do not know what you're planning, professor, 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.960 but it's not really important to specifics. But a rifle 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:03.560 long range, maybe with a scope. It would be pretty great. Honestly, 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:05.640 I do not know how you would carry it if 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.120 I got it for you, but I could probably pay 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:11.120 an extra hundred dollars on top of whatever the reynal 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.600 would be. Oh, oh you are You are really not 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:15.480 in good shape. Maybe you've had too much. You didn't 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.640 drink a lava flow, did you. I know it's all inclusive, 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:23.440 but i'd be happy to pay an extra, Professor, baby, 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.240 I'm just going to pick you up and carry over 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.520 here right now. I'm just just don't mind me. You 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:30.360 just it seems like you maybe have been in the 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:32.480 sun too long. I'm I'm just gonna set you up 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.080 here on this counter so we can see each other. 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:37.240 I do I shake that. But are you familiar with 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:41.920 the word consent? I am. I assumed it was a human, 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.520 So I apologize for soon that I wanted to be. 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:51.800 I do I with you. Look, can you get the rifle, professor? I? 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:53.640 I mean I can't get the rifle. We can always, 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:57.640 of course, I can get the rifle I got. I 0:15:57.680 --> 0:15:59.720 got all kinds of guns. What do you need? What? 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.800 What do need? I got guns for humans, guns for crocodiles, 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:08.400 guns for dogs, guns. Do you have guns for turtles? Yeah? Hey, 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:11.240 who are you gonna give this? Turtles are fucking crazy? Man? 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:15.680 Wait what this gun has a magazine with forty six bullets. 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:20.560 Turtles are insane. It's I work at an all inclusive resort. 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:22.720 If someone wants something, we have to get it for them. 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:24.440 I'll sell it to you, man, But I don't want 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:26.560 you to tell anybody you've got from me, all right, 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.400 I won't tell anybody anything. I'm We're very good at 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.960 keeping secrets. We're an all inclusive resort. The first rule 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:35.760 I used to work in housekeeping is don't ask hello, 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:41.200 why Ki Ki? Marriott guests, all right, thank you, thank you. 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:43.120 We've got a lot to get through. We've got a 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:47.320 lot to get through. But uh, let's let's talk about 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:52.120 getting what you want, getting what you want out of life. 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:55.520 Can we go to the first slide? Okay, there seems 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:57.640 to be some sort of laser pointer. That's not my 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:05.119 laser pointer. They put that down, Bye, down, It's not 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:09.640 a laser pointer. It's just the turtles gun. You want 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.000 a piece of this? What you're gonna what are you 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:16.200 gonna do to him? Kill him? Why? Babe? I'm taking 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:18.360 him out because you fucked him? What do you mean 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:25.000 why babe? Let's talk about back believe act concede, no 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:29.880 believe act. Can't you can't just go up there. He's 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:33.439 talking right now. I can't too. Like I'm gonna seize 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.000 what I want and I want to be the keynote speaker, 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.040 do not walk up there. It's it's very rude, it's 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:45.480 completely unconventional. You're not that turtle's got a gun, no, babe, no, no, 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:48.439 oh god, this bullet is coming at me so slow. 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:56.359 A turtle paste bullet is seeing one. Uh too much fun. 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:04.880 Scene two concipating v I P. McCoy kit Well, who wrote, 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:09.840 dear Joey, king of the heat, Good job on the oatmeal, James, 0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:13.400 I can smell what the heat is cooking. Try tossing 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:15.800 some peb and j in there for a good time. 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:21.439 A scene suggestion for the alchemists milking oats a lickey 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:27.320 boom boom down McCoy. Yeah, can I help you? Yeah? 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:32.199 Coffee tall? Okay, oat milk with the side. Can you 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:36.080 put some hazel out of it? And um, do you 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:42.840 want the sugar free or the coffee? Yeah, it's a syrup. 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:45.240 It's a simple, sir. No, I understand. There's so many 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.840 options these days, and I didn't. Yeah, the sugar free 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:52.680 would be great eye contact, eye contact like some icon. No, please, 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.480 not for many staff now not necessary. We're out of 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:59.800 We're out of oat milk. Are you serious? I understand. 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:02.760 How many locations do they need before they can keep 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.000 It's the supply, the supply. They're having a hard time. 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:09.520 Supply chain, convenience. I don't know. I don't know. It's 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:13.040 just okay, alright, So is everything okay? Sorry? Yeah, um, 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:17.800 We're just we're out of I'm so sorry. It's first coffee. 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.680 This is a fucking Starbucks. You're at a coffee. We're 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:24.040 not out of coffee. After ten am, we can only 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:27.040 serve pike, which between you and me is garbage. I 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:30.520 used to live over there, but we have we have 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:32.960 a problem with the oat milk. Can I can I 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.119 beg you to be okay with almond? We just were 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:37.199 out a void. Can't you just have one of your 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:41.240 staff go in the back? Fair milk up? Fair question? 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:44.399 Milk A note? Is that what you're asking? No? Okay, 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:50.919 milk a note? I just heard you say someone going 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:53.480 to back end milk and then I interrupted you. So 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:56.000 what were you gonna know? I forgot I've lost my 0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.000 tramp thought because you forgot what you were going to 0:19:58.080 --> 0:19:59.600 say when used to go in the back and milk. 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:03.800 You know, I know, I don't even know what pal 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:07.440 I'm just about out of here. I can't take work 0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:10.560 in here anymore, Barista had these people here don't even 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:12.600 know what that word means. Do you, for example, know 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.600 what the word barista? Stands for stands for it's a 0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:19.240 it's an acronym. Yeah, it's the acronym. That's exactly right. 0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:22.920 I don't know. I don't know, Barista. This is very simple. Guys, 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:35.760 Barista believe, act react, initiates, start talk act. Okay, it's 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:42.240 very it's convenient. A lot of time considered reacting because look, 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:44.399 I gotta get this. The bullet is still coming out 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:52.840 of the guys, Barista, believe act. Hey, so what's going 0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:56.119 on on your side of the things with the milk 0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:59.000 and of the Uh, look, man, we need we need 0:20:59.080 --> 0:21:01.560 this milk. If you didn't get this milk and we 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:05.200 we have a problem. Hey man, look, I only got 0:21:05.640 --> 0:21:08.840 I got fourteen cows and only one of them is magic. 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:12.760 So you get thirteen cow'sworth of regular milk and one 0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:16.199 cow'sworth or whatever milk she wants to put out. Well, 0:21:16.240 --> 0:21:19.200 you ever tried making that, you know, bringing a magic 0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:21.760 bull over. Hav a good time with the magic cow, 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:24.760 and then have some don't get crazy with me with 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:28.080 me with magic bulls. Everybody they know such thing as 0:21:28.119 --> 0:21:30.680 a magic bull. At least I've never seen one in 0:21:30.760 --> 0:21:33.160 my life. You go out, all right, now another find 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:35.440 the magic bull. You bring me a magic bull, and 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:38.400 I'll make more of these cows. But until then, you're 0:21:38.440 --> 0:21:41.560 gonna get almond milk, until she's done reading those books 0:21:41.600 --> 0:21:44.560 about how great almond milk is for you. God damn, 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:47.120 I mean, don't get mad at me. I'm a personal 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:49.600 This ain't a personal attack. I just I feel like 0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:52.520 everything with you is a personal attack. Ever since you 0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:55.800 personally attacked me. That's that what we have squashed that 0:21:56.240 --> 0:22:00.639 particular situation. Have we have? Have we have? We have? 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:06.560 We have? We have? Have you have? You? Wait? Have we? So? 0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:08.080 What are you looking for? And you're looking for a 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:13.440 gun for an animal? Uh? Different kind of I need 0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:18.280 a rifle that fits into a small creatures Uh would 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:23.760 they be paus hoofs. No, let's just say small creatures 0:22:23.840 --> 0:22:26.640 hands that could hold on to a little tiny rifle. Yeah, 0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:30.440 like a baby gun for like a community baby rifle. Yeah, 0:22:30.640 --> 0:22:32.560 you know what, let's look for a baby rifle. Do 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:34.840 you have rifles a baby today? I'm running a special 0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:38.200 if you if you buy a gun right throwing this? 0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:43.720 Uh this which ball? It's like a magic ball? Oh yeah, 0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:46.320 what what does that mean exactly? Yeah? I don't know. 0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:49.760 I just need to offload. It's trouble. Okay, do you 0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:53.480 want to Is that the magic bull? Yeah, that's all 0:22:53.520 --> 0:22:56.160 I got. I don't carry animals. Normally I carry weapons 0:22:56.400 --> 0:23:00.560 and accessories for animals. But this, this cool, this bull 0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:03.080 has been nothing to trouble. So you want me to 0:23:03.200 --> 0:23:06.080 take the bull off your hand? Excuse me, I'm looking 0:23:06.119 --> 0:23:10.000 for a rain jacket for a poodle boy. Ah yeah, 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:13.720 here you go. Six dollars moving along, cute, cheap, Thank you. 0:23:15.280 --> 0:23:19.399 It's good, good, good. So I buying the baby rifle 0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:22.119 and you're gonna throw in a whole bull I just 0:23:22.320 --> 0:23:27.960 wanted off my hands. Okay, yeah, great, I'll take the ball. Well, look, 0:23:28.000 --> 0:23:32.159 I feel I feel better. Now. Let's say I gribbed 0:23:32.200 --> 0:23:35.879 that much in years. Let's say we uh, we go 0:23:36.040 --> 0:23:39.040 get a cup of coffee. I'd like that. I'm buying. 0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:45.400 Oh how about this Starbucks right here? Yeah? Sure, they're 0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:50.280 all the same, that's what I think thinking. Yeah, welcome, 0:23:50.400 --> 0:23:52.840 Can I get you? I'm not done here, I am 0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:56.560 not done. Why did you move on? We're still as 0:23:56.680 --> 0:24:01.600 we don't have oh bilk sorry going you guys go ahead, 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:04.080 because hey, Steve, Steve, come back here for a second. 0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:07.040 It's up. Hey, why don't you just give him some 0:24:07.160 --> 0:24:09.879 regular milk and say it's oat milk. It's gonna be 0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:12.040 too hot to drink till he's gone, because like what 0:24:12.160 --> 0:24:14.240 if he's lactose and tallerant. I don't want to poison 0:24:14.320 --> 0:24:18.840