WEBVTT - Opening the Envelope 0:00:01.800 --> 0:00:05.720 Wind Down with Jared and Ashley. I and I heard radio. 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:08.480 Hello everyone, and welcome to an all new episode of 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:12.399 wine Down with Jared and Ashley. As it's always been, 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:15.520 it's never changed. You'd never had any other host besides 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:18.120 us too. Hi, Ashley, how are you? Hi? Um? If 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.239 you keep making the sounds of your mouth over there 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:25.720 like you have been the past five minutes, it hasn't 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:27.800 been five minutes, it's been thirty seconds. And to give 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:30.680 a little background of what she's talking about, Eastern, our 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:33.879 wonderful producer, had his headphones on. Actually you didn't, so 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:37.320 I figured i'd try to annoy Easton, but not try 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:41.199 to annoy Eastn. You didn't have your headphone trying to 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:43.959 annoy Easton when you switched water in your mouth. Yes, 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.199 I thought it was an annoying sound because two seconds 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:48.120 prior he said, hey, can we get a mike? You 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:52.040 like Easton way more than that. No, That's why I 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:54.200 was trying to annoy him, because I like Easton. If 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:56.920 I do you really think this is true? Easton? I mean, 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:00.320 I's no one of the microphones. Jack and I got this. 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:05.640 It's a fun sound. I guess it wasn't your lollipop 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:09.000 and now your mouth is blue like I'm with a child. 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:13.120 Well that's what happened. Great, right now. I was concerned 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.720 about that, but then not concerned because we're not on video. 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.040 This is all audio. So the only way people would 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:19.920 ever find out that I have a blue mouth is 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:23.199 if my co host decided to point that out on air. 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:27.640 Well pointing it out and to go back, it's so silly, 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:29.480 it's very silly. I hope you're able to take me 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:32.760 seriously throughout this podcast. But to go back to the fact, Easton, 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.160 I only a annoy people I like if I If 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:38.640 I don't like you, then I'm far too scared to 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.679 get on your bad side because there's no rapport there 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:45.520 to you know, heal the wound of of annoyance. I 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:48.280 understand that you know you you you tease the ones 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:50.559 you love. Um, I'm glad that I'm at that level 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:52.480 with you totally. I feel comfortable enough. That's why I 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:56.880 tease you. Actually, well, what do you learned something? So 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:59.880 remember when we were little and a boy would tease 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:03.760 a girl and the parents or the teacher would say, 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:08.440 he probably just likes you. Now because of like all 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.280 sorts of changes, in society and things. You're not supposed 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:14.239 to say that anymore. I'm not supposed to say because 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.760 you don't want to teach little girls that a boy 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:21.200 being mean is a sign of like love or affection. 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:24.680 But it was definitely true. I mean, my middle school, 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:28.200 elementary school crush. He used to demoralize me, and he 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:31.680 even admitted fifteen years later that it was because he 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.680 had a crush on me. Yeah, they actually said. So. 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.359 I look up astrology. I'm a scorpio, and a sign 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:42.200 of love for from a scorpio is sarcasm. And it's 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:44.720 also I amy, I agree with you that I I 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:48.400 actually like that they're trying to teach boys from getting 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:53.040 away from teasing the people they like, because I've noticed 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.959 that it's it's it's probably not the best approach specifically 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:58.320 within relationships, but it was just the way I was raised. 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.760 It's the way boys were raised. You know. I was 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.600 always teasing my friends and teasing girls I like because 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:07.760 it was a defense mechanism. So hopefully the future generation 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:10.760 of men will be a lot smarter than this dumbas 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:12.680 sitting right here, and I'm pointing to myself. You know 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:15.040 what I actually have always had a pet peevon, and 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:16.920 it's funny that I'm with you. I don't think you're 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.160 as sarcastic as you think you are, And I don't 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:22.640 think sarcasm is like super funny. Um. I have a 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:26.360 friend who, like her college humor, especially when flirting was 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:29.120 just in a constant state of sarcasm that they could 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.440 never break it. They're like, all their conversations were just 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:36.360 in this back and forth sarcasm, like you're never going 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:38.240 to get deep. And then when they try to break 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:40.840 it and have like a regular conversation, it's weird. Uh. 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:43.840 Do you notice that maybe I'm more sarcastic back East 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:48.560 than I am here. Possibly, But I don't love sarcasm, babe. Uh, 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:53.360 that's besides the point. Um. Do you really ever find 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.880 it hilarious a lot of times? Yes? Really? Yeah, I 0:03:57.040 --> 0:04:01.560 just like sarcasm as a humor. It's just putting a 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:05.720 tone of like negativity on everything, which is what makes 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:08.680 it funny. Because I am a pessimist at heart. It's 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.120 not a good quality to have. Unfortunately, this is just 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:14.600 the way I am the way I was raised Anyway, 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:17.000 It's not the way you were raised, Like your parents 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:18.760 aren't like that. What's my dad is one of the 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:23.320 most sarcastic man I've ever met. He's always it's always 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.320 with Jared's dad. Whenever he's a quality, it's ever man 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:29.120 I've ever met. Everything you say about your dad is 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:31.599 he's the most man ever ever? Is that something that 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:35.599 annoys you? This is interesting, like you totally extreme every 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:39.040 quality your dad has. Your dad is definitely not one 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:43.200 of the most sarcastic man you've ever met. He's he's 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:46.119 he's way cuter about it. Yeah, but what's the fun 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:49.880 And in saying he's just sarcastic, I think it's more 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:53.880 fun to say yeah, to be an extremist, to say he's, 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:56.279 you know, one of the funniest. But people do that 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:57.920 in their everyday life. How many times have you heard 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:00.000 somebody say one of the funniest people I've ever met? 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.680 But you know it's funny when I talk in extremes, 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:06.599 you get so annoyed. How so give me an example. 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:12.440 Whenever I'll be like, you know, I'll exaggerate something. You know, 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:15.039 how when I when you get mad and you get 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.960 angry and sometimes get yeah, I know, but you know 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:19.960 when I'm like, you know, I get worried when you 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:22.640 get like that and then you'll be like, what do 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.359 you mean? You get worried? And then I'm like, I'm like, 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.800 what are you so? Why did you flip out like that? 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:32.120 Because a lot of times when you exaggerate or make 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:35.680 things more dramatic, it's in a negative condensation where I'm 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:42.200 doing condensation connotation connotation, thank you, um. But when I 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.360 do it, I try to do it in a humorous way. 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:46.960 It's super fun to hear you guys argue. UM. Let's 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:48.840 get the expert on the phone to try and help 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:51.760 us through this. All right, before we get Shari on 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:53.919 the phone, we got to talk about open Fit. Open 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:56.679 Fit is bringing you something new that makes it even 0:05:56.760 --> 0:05:59.760 easier to never miss out on a sweat session. It's 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:03.320 a rand new, super simple streaming service that allows you 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:05.600 to work out from the comfort of your home and 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:09.760 as little as just five minutes a day. Everybody is different, 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.880 which is why it is important to personalize your needs 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:16.520 with a custom original content when it comes to working out. 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:19.320 Open Fit classes are led by some of the most 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:23.719 effective and engaging trainers in the world. 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Jazz I didn't 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.440 find a job, but all the bat that's why we 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:14.640 both went on the Bachelor franchise. And right now our 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:18.160 listeners can try zip recruiter for free today at zip 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:21.680 recruited dot com, slash Jana. That's zip recruited dot com, 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:25.200 slash j and a h the smartest way to hire guys. 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.840 Go check it out today. So we have Shari Healey 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:32.360 on the line. Shari is a possible bilitarian. Yes, that's interesting. 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:34.600 Is that a way of thinking? I think it's just 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:37.440 a way of life really, But she brings over twenty 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:41.080 years of relationship study. She's a marriage educator and divorce 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:45.439 pretension prevention expert. So, Sherry, are you on the line, 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:49.400 Shari Sharie. Jesus God, I'm so bad at names. No, 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:52.520 it looks like Sherry. It does look like Sherry, but Amy, 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:56.559 you just said Shari. Yeah. Anyway, Shari, have you been 0:09:56.600 --> 0:10:02.040 listening to our bickering? So fun? Sorry? I want her 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.839 to hear that so that she can, you know, help 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.640 determine our issues. There we go. Yeah, I know, you 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:10.480 guys are being real and it's the best. I mean. 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.680 I think you people will learn from you being all 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:17.079 out there holding back. Well, thank you, Tree. So sureI 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.120 tell us a little bit about yourself. What makes you 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:24.719 a possibilitarian and what does that exactly mean? Well, it's 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:28.400 a title that I think is more true to me 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:31.880 than just life coach. You know, my training and credentials 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:34.439 are one thing, but when you tell people you're a possibilitarian, 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.240 it's pretty clear you stand for all things being possible, 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.800 you know. And I think I'm here to how people 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:43.360 get what they want. I think we're here to enjoy 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:46.800 the ride and not struggle so much in life. So 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:48.640 I think we're going to deal with a few of 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:50.440 your struggles trying to get those out of the way. 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.440 So you can have more fun loving each other. Not well, 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:56.880 we appreciate that, but sure you You definitely have a 0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:01.680 very um fulfilled background. You're boards certified coach, your founder 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:05.800 of One Woman Effect and Bring It Group. Um. You 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.480 are a business owner and entrepreneur, and you have degrees 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:12.640 in marketing, communication and strategic intervention. And you've worked with 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:14.559 corporate leaders for over twenty years to rise up and 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.000 make a difference in the world. So you definitely I 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:19.920 just wanted to, you know, hype up so people take 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:24.160 you seriously. Oh thank you? Yeah, I mean I at 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:26.880 the end of the day, all of that experience just 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:31.600 sleeps to a really deep desire to have people have 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.640 the time of their lives while we're here. And I 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.880 think each one of you and all of us are 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.200 you know, unique, and we each have a gift to give. 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:43.880 And when things get in our way, it's usually because 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:46.679 there's just a lack of skill or lack of awareness 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:50.240 that can easily be learned so we can keep moving 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.400 forward in life. And I think all of us, if 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:56.079 we're walking around filled with joy and in love, then 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:58.720 we're going to make the world a better place. So 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:03.680 Jared and I ol behind each other's backs. Told you 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:06.440 a couple issues that we want to work on on 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:09.840 a relationship. Can we deep dive into that right now? 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.360 That's good, But let's do it. Hey, Shure names Eastern. 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:18.120 I think we've talked on the phone a couple of times. Yes, yes, yes, 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:21.280 you're a very beautiful person. Um. I have these envelopes 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.840 in my hand that that Jared and Ashley have written. 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:28.240 Who wants to go first? I'll go first? Yeah? What 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:32.400 does that mean? I go first? The ones? So my 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:36.800 concern in the relationship with Ashley? Yes, ok, right, and 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:45.760 the award goes to La. We're on the same page here. 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.560 You guys really have some willer personalities. Yeah, we're both kicks. 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.280 All right, here we go. This is from Jared to 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:56.560 Ashley things to work on. Ashley can sometimes only want 0:12:56.600 --> 0:13:01.000 it her way or the highway. Yes, am I supposed 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.160 to expand on that before sar oh got you. Well, 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:06.840 let's do this. I'd love to hear an example. Let's 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:09.600 dive into a moment that can make it really concrete 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.200 for people. Uh. And I was also being dramatic with 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:14.959 that statement. I think with Ashley, I don't think you're 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:18.360 being dramatic at all, Well, it's not so much your 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.360 way of the highway. You just you have a very 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:24.080 um dominant personality and you like to be in the 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:26.080 control of a lot of different situations and be the 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:30.680 decision maker. Where I am, My personality is far more 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:34.560 go with the flow, UM, and you just make decisions 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:37.280 for You're far more indecisive than me. You almost want 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:40.480 me to make the decision totally in most cases. In 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:44.840 most cases, absolutely, but I think in those some it's 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.600 it's hard because most cases are absolutely right. But there 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:49.520 are other cases where I would like to be more 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:53.560 of a decision maker and not be the behind the 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:57.240 scenes guy. UM. And I think that's what I meant 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:01.040 by it. For a specific example, honestly, what would be 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:07.400 a good example of this, Um, This is really stupid. 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:11.400 But we were sitting down on the couch the other 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:16.680 night and searching to find a movie to watch, and 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.720 there was a movie that I had seen nine months 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.680 years ago, and I actually said, how have I never 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:26.160 seen this movie? And I said, I don't know. I've 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:27.640 seen it so many times, my mom, I love that 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:29.480 movie've seen it probably fifteen times. And You're like, do 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:30.720 you want to watch it? And I was like, ah, 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:34.640 you know it's good. I'm kinda and you could tell 0:14:34.680 --> 0:14:36.200 that I didn't want to because he even said could 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:40.280 not tell that point. I wanted to watch Batman for you. 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.920 I don't wanted to watch your movie, but you seemed indecisive, 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:47.280 like you literally didn't care. What I want from you 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.960 is to say, I actually don't want to watch that. 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:52.720 Can we watch this? That's my dream? Well, what I 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:54.480 said with Batman was I didn't want to watch a 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.840 movie that I had already seen. And then my further comment, 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:01.080 you want me to watch Batman? Want to talk about God? 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:02.880 I want you to watch Batman. But the point I 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.440 was making that night when you said, hey, I'll watch Batman, 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:07.080 I said, well, I kind of want to watch something 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.920 I haven't seen and i've seen not make that. Yeah, 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.840 I said that. Well you should have said it again 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.840 because I obviously didn't register. It obviously didn't register, and 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:17.520 maybe I should have said it again. So when I 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:21.080 said nine months, oh, i've seen it, you know fifteen times, 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:25.400 I just I want you to say, in the situations 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:28.640 I don't want to watch it, you never be You're 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:33.800 never clear, You're you always just assume that I wouldn't 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:36.400 I would know. Um, well, the point I'm making is 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:38.200 you just started playing person playing and we're like, all right, 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.040 I guess we're watching it. Or you said something like 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:44.200 along the lines of you know, you were like, is 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:46.000 it bad that I just started? Is it bad that 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:47.800 I made the decision we're watching it? And I was like, no, 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.280 I'll watch it. I don't care. But it's it's it's 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:54.440 just that subconscious of like I'm constantly when we are 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:57.640 searching for a movie, You're always asking I'm always asking 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:58.720 you what do you want? What do you want to 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:03.280 go on? While we search to the movies together? So 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.920 you too, there's a good reason. That's a bad example. 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.360 You know, it's a good example. It's a good one 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.400 because I have this belief that there's a good reason 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.200 for everything that we do. And this can really cut 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.160 through a lot of the arguments or the misunderstandings if 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:21.280 you're searching for the good reason, and let me just 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.200 see what's true for each of you in this the 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:28.480 good reason for you being what appears indecisive, Jared, sounds 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:34.720 like you're trying to make Ashley happy, right, Yeah, you 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:39.880 want to know what she wants? Yes, I think I 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:42.440 I get a lot of happiness in my life when 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:46.200 I'm with the people that I care about who are happy. Right, 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:50.600 Like that you want this is exactly what I want 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:53.000 or what I don't want, Because if she can say 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:55.240 what she wants, then you're clear you're going to win 0:16:55.320 --> 0:17:00.240 with her. She'll she'll be happy. Yeah. Sure I should 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:04.280 similar in situations like this, especially when it doesn't affect 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:06.399 my happiness. Like if he were to straight upset, I 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:08.800 don't want to watch that. Okay, let's find something else. 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:12.560 I wish these little things that he keeps inside he 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.560 would just be more direct about so I would know 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:17.320 because it's not a big deal. That's just not a 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:19.480 big deal in me. Let's just find another movie. Yeah, 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:21.359 but I think a lot of times I am direct 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.879 and I just still get shot down. Like when I 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:25.280 can't think of a good example off the top of 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.200 my head, I wish I thought more about this specific subject. Well, 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:32.200 let's think about it's, you know, another example for you. Actually, 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:34.920 if if you think about what the good reason is 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.120 for you to ever want your way or the highway 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:42.560 that control the dominance, what's a good reason behind that, 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:44.360 you know, to be in control or say Okay, I'm 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:49.199 gonna make a decision. Gives you something? Can you clarify 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:54.400 the question? So there's a good reason for you getting dominant, 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:56.960 you know, or saying like this is what we're gonna do, 0:17:57.080 --> 0:18:01.280 because I think it soothes you. It did relieve the anxiety. 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.960 You know. If this guy is wuffling and you don't 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.320 know and then you guys are stuck and you're just 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:09.320 trying to make him happy too, then you'll take over. 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:13.239 Oh sometimes and he's being super indecisive and he just 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.679 doesn't know or he's presenting like he doesn't know what 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:18.480 he really wants that I'm like, all right, this is 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:22.960 my role. Let's just decide I'm going to take over. Yeah. Yeah, 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.720 but I think he like, like somebody has got to 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:29.040 drive the bus, you know, somebody does, or we'll never 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:32.480 get anything done. Yeah. No, I agree. That's why I said. 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:34.760 The majority of the times, I I don't mind that 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:38.840 from my personality being easy going, indecisive, but there are 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:43.400 times where I do vocalize what I want and my frustrations, 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.280 and a lot of times they don't matter because we're 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:48.520 kind of used to you driving the bus, and I'm 0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:51.800 not saying that's a bad thing. But even like, um, 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.919 I think that I think are one of our biggest 0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:57.640 issues between Ashley and myself is the way we vocalize 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:02.560 our frustrations were actually is very like whatever is bothering her, 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:06.600 she's saying it in the moment, She's gonna say whatever's 0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.680 on her mind. And I and a lot of times 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:12.920 I hold it in and the things that actually does 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:16.680 that bothers me, I won't say a thing, and then 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:19.040 until he's obviously in a bad mood and I have 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:22.359 to pull it out of him. Well, it's it's but 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.400 sometimes I get in a bad mood because you'll critique 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:30.040 me for something very miniscule, something's as dumb as the 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.320 bedmaking that we've talked about a million times, where like, 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:35.040 for I make the bed probably six days out of 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:39.160 the week and five or six probably. Anyway, the point 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:42.919 of the story is you just sometimes like bust my 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:46.199 balls about he doesn't he like when he criticizes me. 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:48.880 I'm like, oh my gosh, no, really, I gotta change that. 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:51.920 When I criticize him, it's like I want you to 0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:57.480 change that his soul. Well, uh, sometimes sure, but I 0:19:57.520 --> 0:19:59.920 think that goes back to my insecurities and I think 0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:03.160 for the longest time I was single, and I've talked 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:06.680 openly about this because I'm very nervous, very scared about 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:11.439 people realizing, Wow, you're actually you don't have it all together, 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.840 You're not the guy that I thought you were going 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:17.080 to be. Like initially with Ashley and myself, if you 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.480 know anything about our background, actually was very into me 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:26.560 from the start and had this very very high expectation 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.560 of who I was. And I remember throughout our three 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:34.120 years of friendship, I countless times told you, actually, I'm 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:36.560 not that guy. I have a lot of issues. I 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:40.080 have insecurities, and you're like, you're crazy, You're crazy, You're crazy. 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:42.720 And I think now being together with me, a lot 0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:45.080 of my flaws have been coming out more and more 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:49.320 because sometimes I do get defensive, sometimes I do get 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:53.520 um down and sad and quiet and keep to myself, 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:56.719 and I think those things. While actually and I are 0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.040 very similar, those are some areas that we butt heads 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:01.320 because Ashley wants to pull it out of me so 0:21:01.440 --> 0:21:09.080 much in every moment and every second. Um where I um. 0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:13.679 He just defines scorpio like it's crazy. He loves to 0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:17.560 sit in his deep dark hole and just doing it, 0:21:18.359 --> 0:21:21.080 and he doesn't want to talk about it until you 0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:25.360 fours it out. And I hate, you know, using astrology 0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:28.919 as like a way of explaining things, But I'm Pisces, 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:31.760 and we put our emotions like straight out there. But 0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:35.520 it's good because we're able. We are able to open 0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:37.840 up a scorpio a bit totally. And so to go 0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:43.879 back to how we um articulate our frustrations differently, things 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:47.800 that Ashley does that bothers me, I won't say, you know, 0:21:47.920 --> 0:21:50.200 I just kind of let it go, but I wish 0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:52.760