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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jared and Ashley. I and I heard radio.

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Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome to an all new episode of

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Speaker 1: wine Down with Jared and Ashley. As it's always been,

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Speaker 1: it's never changed. You'd never had any other host besides

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Speaker 1: us too. Hi, Ashley, how are you? Hi? Um? If

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Speaker 1: you keep making the sounds of your mouth over there

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Speaker 1: like you have been the past five minutes, it hasn't

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Speaker 1: been five minutes, it's been thirty seconds. And to give

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Speaker 1: a little background of what she's talking about, Eastern, our

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Speaker 1: wonderful producer, had his headphones on. Actually you didn't, so

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Speaker 1: I figured i'd try to annoy Easton, but not try

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Speaker 1: to annoy Eastn. You didn't have your headphone trying to

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Speaker 1: annoy Easton when you switched water in your mouth. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I thought it was an annoying sound because two seconds

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Speaker 1: prior he said, hey, can we get a mike? You

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Speaker 1: like Easton way more than that. No, That's why I

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Speaker 1: was trying to annoy him, because I like Easton. If

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Speaker 1: I do you really think this is true? Easton? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I's no one of the microphones. Jack and I got this.

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Speaker 1: It's a fun sound. I guess it wasn't your lollipop

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Speaker 1: and now your mouth is blue like I'm with a child.

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Speaker 1: Well that's what happened. Great, right now. I was concerned

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Speaker 1: about that, but then not concerned because we're not on video.

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Speaker 1: This is all audio. So the only way people would

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Speaker 1: ever find out that I have a blue mouth is

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Speaker 1: if my co host decided to point that out on air.

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Speaker 1: Well pointing it out and to go back, it's so silly,

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Speaker 1: it's very silly. I hope you're able to take me

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Speaker 1: seriously throughout this podcast. But to go back to the fact, Easton,

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Speaker 1: I only a annoy people I like if I If

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Speaker 1: I don't like you, then I'm far too scared to

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Speaker 1: get on your bad side because there's no rapport there

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Speaker 1: to you know, heal the wound of of annoyance. I

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Speaker 1: understand that you know you you you tease the ones

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Speaker 1: you love. Um, I'm glad that I'm at that level

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Speaker 1: with you totally. I feel comfortable enough. That's why I

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Speaker 1: tease you. Actually, well, what do you learned something? So

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Speaker 1: remember when we were little and a boy would tease

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Speaker 1: a girl and the parents or the teacher would say,

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Speaker 1: he probably just likes you. Now because of like all

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Speaker 1: sorts of changes, in society and things. You're not supposed

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Speaker 1: to say that anymore. I'm not supposed to say because

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Speaker 1: you don't want to teach little girls that a boy

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Speaker 1: being mean is a sign of like love or affection.

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Speaker 1: But it was definitely true. I mean, my middle school,

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Speaker 1: elementary school crush. He used to demoralize me, and he

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Speaker 1: even admitted fifteen years later that it was because he

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Speaker 1: had a crush on me. Yeah, they actually said. So.

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Speaker 1: I look up astrology. I'm a scorpio, and a sign

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Speaker 1: of love for from a scorpio is sarcasm. And it's

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Speaker 1: also I amy, I agree with you that I I

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Speaker 1: actually like that they're trying to teach boys from getting

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Speaker 1: away from teasing the people they like, because I've noticed

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Speaker 1: that it's it's it's probably not the best approach specifically

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Speaker 1: within relationships, but it was just the way I was raised.

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Speaker 1: It's the way boys were raised. You know. I was

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Speaker 1: always teasing my friends and teasing girls I like because

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Speaker 1: it was a defense mechanism. So hopefully the future generation

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Speaker 1: of men will be a lot smarter than this dumbas

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Speaker 1: sitting right here, and I'm pointing to myself. You know

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Speaker 1: what I actually have always had a pet peevon, and

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Speaker 1: it's funny that I'm with you. I don't think you're

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Speaker 1: as sarcastic as you think you are, And I don't

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Speaker 1: think sarcasm is like super funny. Um. I have a

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Speaker 1: friend who, like her college humor, especially when flirting was

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Speaker 1: just in a constant state of sarcasm that they could

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Speaker 1: never break it. They're like, all their conversations were just

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Speaker 1: in this back and forth sarcasm, like you're never going

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Speaker 1: to get deep. And then when they try to break

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Speaker 1: it and have like a regular conversation, it's weird. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Do you notice that maybe I'm more sarcastic back East

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Speaker 1: than I am here. Possibly, But I don't love sarcasm, babe. Uh,

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Speaker 1: that's besides the point. Um. Do you really ever find

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Speaker 1: it hilarious a lot of times? Yes? Really? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: just like sarcasm as a humor. It's just putting a

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Speaker 1: tone of like negativity on everything, which is what makes

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Speaker 1: it funny. Because I am a pessimist at heart. It's

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Speaker 1: not a good quality to have. Unfortunately, this is just

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Speaker 1: the way I am the way I was raised Anyway,

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Speaker 1: It's not the way you were raised, Like your parents

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Speaker 1: aren't like that. What's my dad is one of the

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Speaker 1: most sarcastic man I've ever met. He's always it's always

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Speaker 1: with Jared's dad. Whenever he's a quality, it's ever man

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Speaker 1: I've ever met. Everything you say about your dad is

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Speaker 1: he's the most man ever ever? Is that something that

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Speaker 1: annoys you? This is interesting, like you totally extreme every

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Speaker 1: quality your dad has. Your dad is definitely not one

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Speaker 1: of the most sarcastic man you've ever met. He's he's

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Speaker 1: he's way cuter about it. Yeah, but what's the fun

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Speaker 1: And in saying he's just sarcastic, I think it's more

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Speaker 1: fun to say yeah, to be an extremist, to say he's,

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Speaker 1: you know, one of the funniest. But people do that

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Speaker 1: in their everyday life. How many times have you heard

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Speaker 1: somebody say one of the funniest people I've ever met?

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Speaker 1: But you know it's funny when I talk in extremes,

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Speaker 1: you get so annoyed. How so give me an example.

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Speaker 1: Whenever I'll be like, you know, I'll exaggerate something. You know,

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Speaker 1: how when I when you get mad and you get

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Speaker 1: angry and sometimes get yeah, I know, but you know

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Speaker 1: when I'm like, you know, I get worried when you

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Speaker 1: get like that and then you'll be like, what do

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Speaker 1: you mean? You get worried? And then I'm like, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what are you so? Why did you flip out like that?

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Speaker 1: Because a lot of times when you exaggerate or make

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Speaker 1: things more dramatic, it's in a negative condensation where I'm

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Speaker 1: doing condensation connotation connotation, thank you, um. But when I

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Speaker 1: do it, I try to do it in a humorous way.

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Speaker 1: It's super fun to hear you guys argue. UM. Let's

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Speaker 1: get the expert on the phone to try and help

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Speaker 1: us through this. All right, before we get Shari on

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Speaker 1: the phone, we got to talk about open Fit. Open

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Speaker 1: Go check it out today. So we have Shari Healey

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Speaker 1: on the line. Shari is a possible bilitarian. Yes, that's interesting.

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Speaker 1: Is that a way of thinking? I think it's just

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Speaker 1: a way of life really, But she brings over twenty

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Speaker 1: years of relationship study. She's a marriage educator and divorce

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Speaker 1: pretension prevention expert. So, Sherry, are you on the line,

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Speaker 1: Shari Sharie. Jesus God, I'm so bad at names. No,

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Speaker 1: it looks like Sherry. It does look like Sherry, but Amy,

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Speaker 1: you just said Shari. Yeah. Anyway, Shari, have you been

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Speaker 1: listening to our bickering? So fun? Sorry? I want her

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Speaker 1: to hear that so that she can, you know, help

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Speaker 1: determine our issues. There we go. Yeah, I know, you

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Speaker 1: guys are being real and it's the best. I mean.

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Speaker 1: I think you people will learn from you being all

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Speaker 1: out there holding back. Well, thank you, Tree. So sureI

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Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about yourself. What makes you

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Speaker 1: a possibilitarian and what does that exactly mean? Well, it's

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Speaker 1: a title that I think is more true to me

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Speaker 1: than just life coach. You know, my training and credentials

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Speaker 1: are one thing, but when you tell people you're a possibilitarian,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty clear you stand for all things being possible,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I think I'm here to how people

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Speaker 1: get what they want. I think we're here to enjoy

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Speaker 1: the ride and not struggle so much in life. So

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Speaker 1: I think we're going to deal with a few of

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Speaker 1: your struggles trying to get those out of the way.

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Speaker 1: So you can have more fun loving each other. Not well,

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Speaker 1: we appreciate that, but sure you You definitely have a

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Speaker 1: very um fulfilled background. You're boards certified coach, your founder

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Speaker 1: of One Woman Effect and Bring It Group. Um. You

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Speaker 1: are a business owner and entrepreneur, and you have degrees

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Speaker 1: in marketing, communication and strategic intervention. And you've worked with

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Speaker 1: corporate leaders for over twenty years to rise up and

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Speaker 1: make a difference in the world. So you definitely I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to, you know, hype up so people take

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Speaker 1: you seriously. Oh thank you? Yeah, I mean I at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, all of that experience just

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Speaker 1: sleeps to a really deep desire to have people have

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Speaker 1: the time of their lives while we're here. And I

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Speaker 1: think each one of you and all of us are

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Speaker 1: you know, unique, and we each have a gift to give.

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Speaker 1: And when things get in our way, it's usually because

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Speaker 1: there's just a lack of skill or lack of awareness

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Speaker 1: that can easily be learned so we can keep moving

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Speaker 1: forward in life. And I think all of us, if

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Speaker 1: we're walking around filled with joy and in love, then

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Speaker 1: we're going to make the world a better place. So

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Speaker 1: Jared and I ol behind each other's backs. Told you

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Speaker 1: a couple issues that we want to work on on

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Speaker 1: a relationship. Can we deep dive into that right now?

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Speaker 1: That's good, But let's do it. Hey, Shure names Eastern.

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Speaker 1: I think we've talked on the phone a couple of times. Yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: you're a very beautiful person. Um. I have these envelopes

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Speaker 1: in my hand that that Jared and Ashley have written.

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Speaker 1: Who wants to go first? I'll go first? Yeah? What

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Speaker 1: does that mean? I go first? The ones? So my

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Speaker 1: concern in the relationship with Ashley? Yes, ok, right, and

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Speaker 1: the award goes to La. We're on the same page here.

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Speaker 1: You guys really have some willer personalities. Yeah, we're both kicks.

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Speaker 1: All right, here we go. This is from Jared to

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Speaker 1: Ashley things to work on. Ashley can sometimes only want

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Speaker 1: it her way or the highway. Yes, am I supposed

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Speaker 1: to expand on that before sar oh got you. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's do this. I'd love to hear an example. Let's

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Speaker 1: dive into a moment that can make it really concrete

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Speaker 1: for people. Uh. And I was also being dramatic with

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Speaker 1: that statement. I think with Ashley, I don't think you're

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Speaker 1: being dramatic at all, Well, it's not so much your

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Speaker 1: way of the highway. You just you have a very

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Speaker 1: um dominant personality and you like to be in the

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Speaker 1: control of a lot of different situations and be the

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Speaker 1: decision maker. Where I am, My personality is far more

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Speaker 1: go with the flow, UM, and you just make decisions

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Speaker 1: for You're far more indecisive than me. You almost want

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Speaker 1: me to make the decision totally in most cases. In

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Speaker 1: most cases, absolutely, but I think in those some it's

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Speaker 1: it's hard because most cases are absolutely right. But there

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Speaker 1: are other cases where I would like to be more

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Speaker 1: of a decision maker and not be the behind the

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Speaker 1: scenes guy. UM. And I think that's what I meant

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Speaker 1: by it. For a specific example, honestly, what would be

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Speaker 1: a good example of this, Um, This is really stupid.

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Speaker 1: But we were sitting down on the couch the other

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Speaker 1: night and searching to find a movie to watch, and

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Speaker 1: there was a movie that I had seen nine months

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Speaker 1: years ago, and I actually said, how have I never

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Speaker 1: seen this movie? And I said, I don't know. I've

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Speaker 1: seen it so many times, my mom, I love that

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Speaker 1: movie've seen it probably fifteen times. And You're like, do

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Speaker 1: you want to watch it? And I was like, ah,

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Speaker 1: you know it's good. I'm kinda and you could tell

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Speaker 1: that I didn't want to because he even said could

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Speaker 1: not tell that point. I wanted to watch Batman for you.

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Speaker 1: I don't wanted to watch your movie, but you seemed indecisive,

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Speaker 1: like you literally didn't care. What I want from you

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Speaker 1: is to say, I actually don't want to watch that.

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Speaker 1: Can we watch this? That's my dream? Well, what I

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Speaker 1: said with Batman was I didn't want to watch a

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Speaker 1: movie that I had already seen. And then my further comment,

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Speaker 1: you want me to watch Batman? Want to talk about God?

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Speaker 1: I want you to watch Batman. But the point I

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Speaker 1: was making that night when you said, hey, I'll watch Batman,

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Speaker 1: I said, well, I kind of want to watch something

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen and i've seen not make that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I said that. Well you should have said it again

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Speaker 1: because I obviously didn't register. It obviously didn't register, and

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Speaker 1: maybe I should have said it again. So when I

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Speaker 1: said nine months, oh, i've seen it, you know fifteen times,

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Speaker 1: I just I want you to say, in the situations

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Speaker 1: I don't want to watch it, you never be You're

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Speaker 1: never clear, You're you always just assume that I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: I would know. Um, well, the point I'm making is

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Speaker 1: you just started playing person playing and we're like, all right,

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Speaker 1: I guess we're watching it. Or you said something like

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Speaker 1: along the lines of you know, you were like, is

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Speaker 1: it bad that I just started? Is it bad that

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Speaker 1: I made the decision we're watching it? And I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'll watch it. I don't care. But it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: just that subconscious of like I'm constantly when we are

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Speaker 1: searching for a movie, You're always asking I'm always asking

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Speaker 1: you what do you want? What do you want to

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Speaker 1: go on? While we search to the movies together? So

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Speaker 1: you too, there's a good reason. That's a bad example.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's a good example. It's a good one

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Speaker 1: because I have this belief that there's a good reason

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Speaker 1: for everything that we do. And this can really cut

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Speaker 1: through a lot of the arguments or the misunderstandings if

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Speaker 1: you're searching for the good reason, and let me just

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Speaker 1: see what's true for each of you in this the

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Speaker 1: good reason for you being what appears indecisive, Jared, sounds

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Speaker 1: like you're trying to make Ashley happy, right, Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: want to know what she wants? Yes, I think I

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Speaker 1: I get a lot of happiness in my life when

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Speaker 1: I'm with the people that I care about who are happy. Right,

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Speaker 1: Like that you want this is exactly what I want

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Speaker 1: or what I don't want, Because if she can say

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Speaker 1: what she wants, then you're clear you're going to win

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Speaker 1: with her. She'll she'll be happy. Yeah. Sure I should

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Speaker 1: similar in situations like this, especially when it doesn't affect

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Speaker 1: my happiness. Like if he were to straight upset, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to watch that. Okay, let's find something else.

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Speaker 1: I wish these little things that he keeps inside he

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Speaker 1: would just be more direct about so I would know

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Speaker 1: because it's not a big deal. That's just not a

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Speaker 1: big deal in me. Let's just find another movie. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I think a lot of times I am direct

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Speaker 1: and I just still get shot down. Like when I

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Speaker 1: can't think of a good example off the top of

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Speaker 1: my head, I wish I thought more about this specific subject. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's think about it's, you know, another example for you. Actually,

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Speaker 1: if if you think about what the good reason is

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Speaker 1: for you to ever want your way or the highway

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Speaker 1: that control the dominance, what's a good reason behind that,

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Speaker 1: you know, to be in control or say Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna make a decision. Gives you something? Can you clarify

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Speaker 1: the question? So there's a good reason for you getting dominant,

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Speaker 1: you know, or saying like this is what we're gonna do,

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Speaker 1: because I think it soothes you. It did relieve the anxiety.

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Speaker 1: You know. If this guy is wuffling and you don't

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Speaker 1: know and then you guys are stuck and you're just

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Speaker 1: trying to make him happy too, then you'll take over.

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Speaker 1: Oh sometimes and he's being super indecisive and he just

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Speaker 1: doesn't know or he's presenting like he doesn't know what

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Speaker 1: he really wants that I'm like, all right, this is

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Speaker 1: my role. Let's just decide I'm going to take over. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I think he like, like somebody has got to

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Speaker 1: drive the bus, you know, somebody does, or we'll never

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Speaker 1: get anything done. Yeah. No, I agree. That's why I said.

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Speaker 1: The majority of the times, I I don't mind that

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Speaker 1: from my personality being easy going, indecisive, but there are

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Speaker 1: times where I do vocalize what I want and my frustrations,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of times they don't matter because we're

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Speaker 1: kind of used to you driving the bus, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying that's a bad thing. But even like, um,

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Speaker 1: I think that I think are one of our biggest

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Speaker 1: issues between Ashley and myself is the way we vocalize

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Speaker 1: our frustrations were actually is very like whatever is bothering her,

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Speaker 1: she's saying it in the moment, She's gonna say whatever's

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Speaker 1: on her mind. And I and a lot of times

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Speaker 1: I hold it in and the things that actually does

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Speaker 1: that bothers me, I won't say a thing, and then

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Speaker 1: until he's obviously in a bad mood and I have

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Speaker 1: to pull it out of him. Well, it's it's but

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Speaker 1: sometimes I get in a bad mood because you'll critique

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Speaker 1: me for something very miniscule, something's as dumb as the

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Speaker 1: bedmaking that we've talked about a million times, where like,

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Speaker 1: for I make the bed probably six days out of

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Speaker 1: the week and five or six probably. Anyway, the point

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Speaker 1: of the story is you just sometimes like bust my

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Speaker 1: balls about he doesn't he like when he criticizes me.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, no, really, I gotta change that.

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Speaker 1: When I criticize him, it's like I want you to

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Speaker 1: change that his soul. Well, uh, sometimes sure, but I

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Speaker 1: think that goes back to my insecurities and I think

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Speaker 1: for the longest time I was single, and I've talked

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Speaker 1: openly about this because I'm very nervous, very scared about

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Speaker 1: people realizing, Wow, you're actually you don't have it all together,

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Speaker 1: You're not the guy that I thought you were going

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Speaker 1: to be. Like initially with Ashley and myself, if you

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Speaker 1: know anything about our background, actually was very into me

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Speaker 1: from the start and had this very very high expectation

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Speaker 1: of who I was. And I remember throughout our three

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Speaker 1: years of friendship, I countless times told you, actually, I'm

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Speaker 1: not that guy. I have a lot of issues. I

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Speaker 1: have insecurities, and you're like, you're crazy, You're crazy, You're crazy.

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Speaker 1: And I think now being together with me, a lot

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Speaker 1: of my flaws have been coming out more and more

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Speaker 1: because sometimes I do get defensive, sometimes I do get

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Speaker 1: um down and sad and quiet and keep to myself,

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Speaker 1: and I think those things. While actually and I are

387
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 1: very similar, those are some areas that we butt heads

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Speaker 1: because Ashley wants to pull it out of me so

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00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 1: much in every moment and every second. Um where I um.

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Speaker 1: He just defines scorpio like it's crazy. He loves to

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Speaker 1: sit in his deep dark hole and just doing it,

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Speaker 1: and he doesn't want to talk about it until you

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Speaker 1: fours it out. And I hate, you know, using astrology

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00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 1: as like a way of explaining things, But I'm Pisces,

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Speaker 1: and we put our emotions like straight out there. But

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Speaker 1: it's good because we're able. We are able to open

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Speaker 1: up a scorpio a bit totally. And so to go

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Speaker 1: back to how we um articulate our frustrations differently, things

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Speaker 1: that Ashley does that bothers me, I won't say, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just kind of let it go, but I wish

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Speaker 1: he would. But and so I got the good reason

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00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 1: though he just shared with us that he was super

403
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Speaker 1: sensitive and scared about people finding out that he's human,

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00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 1: and so he's really so that if to making anyone

405
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: else feel that pain, the good reason behind that is

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't want anyone else to feel criticized or fully

407
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 1: seen like that. Well. I also also to jump off

408
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: that that is partly true but also a big truth.

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Speaker 1: It's my own um um. It's kind of selfish in

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Speaker 1: a way. The reason I don't critique others is because

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Speaker 1: I don't want them to critique me, because it's I

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Speaker 1: get um, I I do, I I get defensive about

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Speaker 1: those things, and I think it's because I project my

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Speaker 1: insecurities a lot of times. Uh specifically, it's it's interesting though,

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00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: sorry to keep talking, but it's now it's like a

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Speaker 1: therapy session. It's interesting because I feel like my insecurities

417
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: have grown exponentially ever since being on the show, because

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Speaker 1: I was always kind of insecure, but man, I I

419
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Speaker 1: was so much more confident before the show and I'm

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Speaker 1: still very confident man now. But it comes and goes

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00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: and ebbs and flows, because I think it's just you

422
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: know what's interesting. We're talking about social media last night

423
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: and comments left and there's one comment that has always

424
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 1: stuck out with me and don't ask me why, Well

425
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: you can ask me why, but the comments said one time,

426
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: they commented under my Instagram saying Jared is the most

427
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 1: overrated Bachelor contestant in the history of the show. And

428
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: I think it's stuck out with me all these years.

429
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 1: This was like two years when it got posted, and

430
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 1: it's stuck out with me all this time because I

431
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 1: believe it, because I've always believed it, because I've never

432
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,959
Speaker 1: like ever since our first season of Paradise. It's like,

433
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 1: I'm not that guy. I don't know why Ashley is

434
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: sell in love with me. I don't know why girls

435
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: want to dave me. I have my you know I have.

436
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,959
Speaker 1: I have a lot of good qualities. But there's so

437
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 1: many other people that I'm surrounded by that have better

438
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 1: qualities than myself, both physically and mentally emotionally. Uh. I

439
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: think Jared is an extremist humble list. He's an extreme

440
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 1: humblest I'm going to make that up right now. Like

441
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: he likes to think of himself as lower quality than

442
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 1: he really is, and he likes to like emphasize his

443
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: flaws because in a way, it makes him seem like

444
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 1: a simple, humble man, and in turn, it creates these

445
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: weird insecurities that like he really he overblows a lot.

446
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: He it's kind of like a superhero complex. And I

447
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: swear to you it has to do with him watching

448
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 1: these movies and being so obsessed with them his entire life.

449
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 1: It's like he, especially with The Bachelor, they presented him

450
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 1: as like the superhero figure that all these girls wanted

451
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: and that he really didn't have. He was like the

452
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 1: perfect guy and in his in his head, he was like,

453
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: but I'm not I'm flawed. Yeah, I'm not that guy.

454
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: And I think that's why it's it's my my insecurities

455
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: have gotten the best of me for quite some time,

456
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: and they got the best of me, specifically with our

457
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 1: relationship for a very long time. Um. And so I

458
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 1: think what I do well is I am able to

459
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 1: ignore those insecurities, uh, for long stretches of time. I

460
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 1: think I did that very well on my first season

461
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 1: of the Bachelorette. I think I did that very well

462
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 1: when we first got together. Um. And both in those times,

463
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 1: I was self aware enough to know that if I

464
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: let my insecurities get the best to me, I'm not

465
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: going to get what I want. Uh. And obviously my

466
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 1: first season the Bachelorette, uh, it was too you know,

467
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: not get kicked off early and then always regret looking back. Um.

468
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 1: And then you know, obviously moving forward with you is

469
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: you know, losing the best thing that's happened to me. Um.

470
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: So anyway, Yeah, but again to go back to the selfishness,

471
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: so share you can speak upon that. It's it's a

472
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: little bit of selfish for me not to critique actually,

473
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: because the reason I don't do it is because I'm

474
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 1: I don't want criticism and return. So in my head,

475
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 1: it's like, all right, if I just let things go

476
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 1: and don't you know, critique or or don't talk about

477
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: things that bothering you know, things that she does that

478
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: bothers me, then she won't do that in return. Right. Well,

479
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: there's this thing called a formula for happiness that I

480
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: think is super helpful in this that you. The formula

481
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: is when your blueprint equals your life conditions. So your

482
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: blueprint meaning your expectations. Right, So you have an expectation

483
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: that in order to be on the show, or in

484
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 1: order to be loved, you've got to be a perfect superhero.

485
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 1: You've got to reach this ultimately in human ideal. It's

486
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: so weird because they don't have those expectations for other people.

487
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: I just have them. Yeah, but you put them on yourself.

488
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: And it's crazy how we do that, but we do.

489
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: And so if you fail that, if you don't think

490
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: you're actually that or what Ashley thought you were, the

491
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: blueprint does not equal to life conditions, so you can't

492
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: be happy. You'll always suffer, right, And you said it's

493
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: gotten worse because now you've got all these people also

494
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 1: watching you, and so you're super exposed, and I think

495
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 1: we'll only experience happiness when your life conditions, when reality

496
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 1: actually meets expectations, and those two things are equal. So

497
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 1: the only way to fix it is either to become

498
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:12,880
Speaker 1: an actual batman, you know, fulfill the perfect. Don't tease

499
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 1: me with a good idea, which is crazy because nobody

500
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 1: wants that, actually wants a man man. She wants a

501
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 1: human being, actually wants me to be. I definitely wouldn't

502
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 1: mind like that. That's the romanticism and me as well,

503
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: a sexy billionaire during the day and a cape crusader

504
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:40,360
Speaker 1: cape crusader look at the Boston Cape cape Crusade, watching

505
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:47,159
Speaker 1: the pot and drinks Sam's Boston Log at night. You

506
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: can totally play that role, Jared. You can nail it,

507
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: but not all the time. And that's where you have

508
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,479
Speaker 1: to update the blueprint that none of us are going

509
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 1: to be absolutely dialed and perfect every single day of

510
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 1: our life. And when you can bring that more into alignment,

511
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: you can say, yeah, and here's a really vulnerable moment.

512
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you how I really feel like

513
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: you guys could shirt had a lot of these communication

514
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: troubles by just saying we're going to make an agreement

515
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 1: today from now on in April one. From here moving forward,

516
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 1: we're going to say truthfully before we're upset, I really

517
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: want this. I like to say it. In my ideal world,

518
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 1: if I could have it all my way, I would

519
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 1: watch this movie. And then you start to make a deal.

520
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 1: From there, you know, you get to say, then, Ashley,

521
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: in my ideal world, if I could have it all

522
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: my way, I would do this, And then you guys

523
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: kind of play volleyball. You go back and forth until

524
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: you both come up with something where you both feel

525
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: like you got to win instead of somebody being resentful

526
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 1: and being the loser. You know, I'm not about compromise,

527
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: and I think you're not totally sharing what you want, Jared.

528
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: And then it's going to build up. Yeah, I see

529
00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: building up all the time. Yeah. My next question for you,

530
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: Sherry is why is it so difficult to tell people

531
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: what we want? Well, I think it's multilayered. I think

532
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: for you, knowing what I know about you, it's you

533
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: don't want to disappoint You want to continue to be

534
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: the superhero. And if you tell somebody that might disappoint

535
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: them or they might not agree with it can create

536
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: disconnection and anxiety. You know, you hold back because you

537
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: want to be pleasing, you want to fulfill that image,

538
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: and and then it actually catch us up with us. Yeah,

539
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: I think I just hear people all the time who

540
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: are so afraid to tell people what they want. Even

541
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,239
Speaker 1: last night, we were talking to a girl who was

542
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: saying that she wants to get engaged with her boyfriend.

543
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: And while she's talked to him about it, I think

544
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: she hasn't really directly said like, this is what I want,

545
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: this is the time frame I want to in, And

546
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: I don't know why you. I mean, this is a

547
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,719
Speaker 1: whole thing, but but yeah, I just I my curiosity is,

548
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: why is it it? I know I get it for me.

549
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: I sometimes it's hard for me to say what I want.

550
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: But it's it seems like it's a very um big

551
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: problem for a lot of people. There's fear that somebody

552
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: might not want to give it. They would rather you know,

553
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 1: suspend the knowing and think that maybe someday they'll get it.

554
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 1: Like that woman's maybe worst fear is it She'll say

555
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: I want to get engaged and he'll say I don't,

556
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: and then the relationship is over. So they hang out

557
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: waiting and hoping instead of what I think is really

558
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: what we're all craving now ultimately is to be seen

559
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: and understood, to be fully seen and heard, and that

560
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: means suspending that fear and saying, look, I'm about something

561
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: that I really want and need and you may not agree,

562
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: you may not be able to give it to me,

563
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna put that fear aside in order to

564
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: be closer to you. I think when at least we

565
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: can really know each other's truth. I mean, actually, I'm

566
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: a Pisces and my son as a Scorpio. I so

567
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: get the not knowing and the anxiety that causes to

568
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: be like, how are you feeling? You know, and not

569
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: being able to crack in there. Yes, I think for

570
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: me it's hard. You feel this as a woman. I

571
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: think our giant need to be connected creates a sense

572
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: of safety for us. And so there's got to be

573
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: some kind of an agreement you to make ground giving

574
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: him his time to be in his safe place, because

575
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: safety for him is not charing and being quiet and

576
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: keeping it all in and he's got to have that

577
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: at times. And I think, Jared, you knowing that it's

578
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: something that really creates safety for Ashley to know how

579
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: you're feeling, to be deeply connected, that that can be

580
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: a gift to her, That is a superhero gift. Like

581
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look at my fear straight in the face

582
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: and I'm going to put on my tape and tell

583
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: you the truth anyway so that you can feel safe

584
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: and know that I love you. Yeah. I like the

585
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: way you phrase it. Yeah yeah. So going back to

586
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: the original, it's Ashley's way or the highway. I think

587
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: you could influence this, Jared by by you know, telling

588
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: her what you really want and need in any moment

589
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: so that she doesn't have to get hard and take over.

590
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 1: You know, she doesn't have to be the big driver. Well,

591
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: sometimes she wants to. Well now that now that we

592
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: talked about being clear with what we want and like

593
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: what we're concerned about. Sometimes I feel like when I

594
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: am clear with what I want, you get defensive. Um,

595
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: you're always clear with what you want? What do you mean?

596
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: I know? But like two months ago, when I was like,

597
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: you're not being romantic with me. Why aren't you being

598
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: romantic with me? You were like, I've heard this a

599
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 1: zillion times. What do you want? For me, and then

600
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: I got scared of bringing up Ashley. What I'm going

601
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: to give you a short cut because criticism doesn't really

602
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 1: land well Shire of us, right, and no, nobody really

603
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: likes to feel like they're failing. And we do that

604
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 1: as women a lot, or anybody who's kind of in

605
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: that more feminine mood will say, um with frustration, you know,

606
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: why aren't you or this isn't working, or you know

607
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: there's some emotional charge to it, because like you said,

608
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: when somebody criticizes you you want to change. It will

609
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: actually impact you. So we think if we come at

610
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 1: them with that, they'll change, but it has the opposite effect.

611
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: For a man, all he can hear is is I'm

612
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: failing you. I've done something wrong, which is like the

613
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 1: worst thing for them, and so it's a great way

614
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 1: to get somebody defensive. So there's the trick this is

615
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: for both of you to use because I think like

616
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: even in work situations, I work with so many leaders

617
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 1: and teams and you know, nobody wants to feel like

618
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: they're doing something wrong. It takes a great being who's

619
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: like in a really cool vibe to be able to

620
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: hear that and not react. So it's just two parts.

621
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: This is how you give feedback. And like, let's say

622
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: about the bed. You know, the bed wasn't made. That

623
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: was a good example you had, Ashley, and you get,

624
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,720
Speaker 1: you know, upset about it. So you can say, hey, babe,

625
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: it's first I love, this is what I love, and

626
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: this is what I want more of. That's the formula,

627
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 1: so you go. I love it so much when you

628
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: make the bed because you do it so well. And

629
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: what I'd like more of is for you to do

630
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: it every day because it rocks my world. That would

631
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: never make him defensive? Right? How would that? Jared? I

632
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: don't think he likes it. No, that sounds great. Here's

633
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 1: what I love, and here's what I want more of.

634
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: Like I love it when the romantic with me. It

635
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 1: makes me feel so good. You know what do you

636
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 1: love about it when he's romantic with you? And I

637
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 1: want more of it? I want it more. You know?

638
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 1: It's some of the tone of your voice and the

639
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: fact that you're leading you do so well. Would that work? Jared? Um,

640
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 1: we'd have to test it out. I don't know. That's

641
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 1: that's a if I'm being honest. When I initially hear it,

642
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 1: I don't think it would work. I I it's not

643
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: a working versus. It's it's not Um, I don't know.

644
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have to mold that over well,

645
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: actually tell him, let's try another thing. What does it

646
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: give you when he's romantic with you? Security? It ultimately

647
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 1: makes you feel safe and loved and adored and attracted to. Right,

648
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 1: It's a lot. And are you really specific about how

649
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 1: he can be romantic with you? Like I would love

650
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: it with if you do this or that, and so

651
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 1: that it's really clear how you could do that, Jared,

652
00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: because sometimes I think if we're not clear. You want

653
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: to give her security, you want to adore her, you

654
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 1: want to love her, you want to do all those

655
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 1: things that she keeps telling you you're not doing it.

656
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 1: Do you have a really good, specific way that you

657
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: understand how to be romantic that would work? Me? Uh huh.

658
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: I think this is a better question for Ashley me.

659
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: You know how I like it? Like how I like yeah? Dead,

660
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 1: but you know I just want to like you'd be

661
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 1: very touchy, am I not you you're touchy, but you

662
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 1: used to be so much touchier. That's what I think.

663
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: That's what it was for me. Because you used to

664
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: never get off me, and now you get off me.

665
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 1: Well sometimes yeah, sometimes I do. Yeah, but you used

666
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: to be all over me and I love that. Well,

667
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 1: don't cry. Um. That's a good one. Though. Is there

668
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: anything that's changed from Ashley that has has change that

669
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 1: for you? There was something that I mean, if we're

670
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 1: going to talk about this, then we're gonna talk about it.

671
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,879
Speaker 1: We'll go. I mean, I also think that there is

672
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:12,919
Speaker 1: a certain expectation that Ashley has, um because she's never

673
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 1: been in a long term relationship, and I don't think

674
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: she knows that. Um, you know, you know, I mean

675
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 1: we see each other when I was touching it all

676
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,280
Speaker 1: the time when we were first you know, specific holding

677
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 1: hands in my arm around her and cuddling and and

678
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 1: you know, all that snuggly stuff. Um, I mean, we

679
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 1: weren't living together at the time, we weren't seeing each

680
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 1: other seven so there was this element of of surprise.

681
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 1: You know. Now there's not that that same surprise. And

682
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: that's not a bad thing. It's just different. But that's

683
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 1: what love is. Love changes. I think that's one of

684
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 1: my fears with being with Ashley is that it's going

685
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 1: to continue to change. You know when we get married

686
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: and when we have kids, and not in a bad way,

687
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: and we'll still make sure that we have our moments together,

688
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: but they might be less and less and that makes

689
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: me a little scared that she'll become more and more

690
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: hut defensive with you know, the romance changing, um as

691
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 1: I feel it does in a lot of relationships, and

692
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: I think we do a good job of trying to

693
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: make sure that we have our us time. Um we

694
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 1: also live with a third person, so we live with

695
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 1: Ashley's sister, makes it yeah, So I you know, I

696
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of factors at bay Ah, So

697
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 1: you know it's going to be really important. Is it

698
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: will change. But I don't believe what a lot of

699
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: people say out there about how the romance just it

700
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: just dies and that's the way it is. I don't

701
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: buy it because I think we live a lot longer

702
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:57,880
Speaker 1: than we used to, and if we're going to be

703
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: together with somebody for a long period of time, then

704
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 1: we need to continue to date and we need to

705
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: continue to stoke that romance and that magic, and there

706
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 1: are ways to keep changing it up. That's a human

707
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: need we have for like surprise and uncertainty and magic.

708
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 1: That's that's something you're always going to need from each other,

709
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: and you can play with that as you grow older together.

710
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 1: What works, what doesn't. It's frustrating to people because we'd

711
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: love to say, ah, we love this person and they

712
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: never changed and we lived happily ever after. But it

713
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 1: won't be that way. But then you can play with space.

714
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: You know you're together a lot. Really healthy relationships have

715
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 1: some space, some chance to miss each other, some chance

716
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 1: to go away and plan some surprise or something new,

717
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: and inject that into the relationship. You don't want to

718
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: get too much same, same going on, otherwise things will

719
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:55,600
Speaker 1: get boring. That I read that in Cosmo a couple

720
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: of months ago, that like, if you are too close

721
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 1: and hinder romance, and I was like, I think that's

722
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 1: what was happening, especially when we moved in together. It

723
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: was just when we moved in, because beforehand it was

724
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: like constant romance, and then when we moved in together,

725
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,360
Speaker 1: it was just like we're together all the time, Like

726
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: you can't feel like that. Yeah, he's got satiated a bit,

727
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 1: and that'll happen with people who have kids. And then

728
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,759
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you're in this routine and you're

729
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 1: just swimming in certainty, and it's all I think. Everybody

730
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 1: wants some security and they want safety. But when you

731
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 1: get too much, we kind of die inside. You know,

732
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,879
Speaker 1: we're not as excited anymore. And you guys can get

733
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 1: creative and figure out how can you keep things exciting

734
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 1: And it's going to be different throughout the years. But

735
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: that's where just talking to each other and not being

736
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 1: afraid to fail to just say who are you today?

737
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: I always say this, Like, my favorite wedding vows I've

738
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: ever heard was when this man said the woman I

739
00:40:56,239 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: promised to never know you really, which at the first glance,

740
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,240
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, that doesn't sound right, but he's actually saying,

741
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 1: you want every day, every minute you're a new person. Yeah,

742
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: and I don't want to assume that I know who

743
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 1: you are. Sure, I don't want to take up too

744
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: much more. You're too much more of your time. Really quick, though,

745
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: we have to just talk about stamps dot com because

746
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: we love them here. Oh my goodness, gracious, we have

747
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: been sending out so many things lately because of wedding planning.

748
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: Um so we have been using stamps dot com because

749
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: nobody really has time or wants to go to the

750
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 1: post office because you're busy. Who's that time? With all

751
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 1: the traffic, especially in l A Park in l A

752
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,480
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753
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,520
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754
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,200
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755
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 1: get at the post office. You can't even get him

756
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: at the post office, but you can get him on

757
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,800
Speaker 1: stamps dot com. SAMs dot com brings all the amazing

758
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: services of the US Postal Service right to your computer.

759
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 1: Whether you're a small office and invoices and online seller

760
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 1: shipping on products, or even a warehouse sending thousands of

761
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: packages a day, stamps dot com can handle it all

762
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,040
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763
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:13,719
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764
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: class of mail anywhere you want to send it. Once

765
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 1: your mail is ready, just hand it to your mail

766
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,280
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767
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,719
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768
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769
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 1: Not to mention, it's a fraction of the cost of

770
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: those expensive postage meters. And with all our books that

771
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 1: we're shipping out, all the wedding stuff that we're shipping out,

772
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: we're looking for anything that would save us time and money.

773
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: Books and I have the bachelorette stuff that I'm sending out.

774
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: UM stamp dot com total no brainer. It's gonna save

775
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,279
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776
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:56,919
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777
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,160
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778
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779
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780
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,759
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781
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,960
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782
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,760
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783
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,920
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784
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,320
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785
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786
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:28,879
Speaker 1: it comes to UM sponsors, I always shout you out

787
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: on this one because for so long you weren't using

788
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: an electric toothbrush, and then and it was crazy, and

789
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: it wasn't crazy, it was just the way has to

790
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 1: burn up. I never had the electroc toothbrush so I

791
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was missing. That was the issue.

792
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 1: Now I'm open to that world and I will never

793
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: go back. All I can use and I'm so proud.

794
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,240
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. I forgot it. I forgot

795
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 1: my electric toothbrush like two weeks ago. I don't know

796
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 1: when we were traveling, but I had to buy, you know,

797
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 1: one of the plastic ones and just do it myself.

798
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: And I felt like I wasn't cleaning my teeth properly

799
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: because I'm so used to the electric toothbrush, just really

800
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 1: getting in there. It's it's a whole new world. I'm

801
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: so glad. That's how much he loves quip Um You guys.

802
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: Quip was designed to make brushing your teeth more simple, affordable,

803
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: and even enjoyable. Like Jared mentions, it built in two

804
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: minute timer pulses every thirty seconds to remind you when

805
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 1: it's time to switch sides. It's got a helping guide

806
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: for a full and even clean up to of us

807
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,720
Speaker 1: don't brush for a full two minutes and don't clean

808
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: evenly like you just just said that. I was one

809
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 1: of those people because I used to always time it,

810
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: but I would always brush my teeth for probably less

811
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 1: than a minute. And now the electric tooth brush has

812
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 1: an aumot a timer, which is huge. Can we talk

813
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 1: about how I used to make fun of me because

814
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: your brush head was so destroyed. I was like, well,

815
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: was the last time you changed your brushead and be like, oh, well,

816
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: maybe like a year and a half. I was like that,

817
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 1: that's not even cleaning your teeth at this point. Well,

818
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: these brusheads with five years, These brusheads with QUIP are

819
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule of every three

820
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 1: months and at just five dollars to get that done.

821
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 1: Three out of four of us are using bristles that

822
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: are two worn old and are now ineffective. Yeah, I

823
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: was one of those three or four, But now I

824
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: can proudly say that I am one of those, one

825
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 1: of four, that twenty percentile that doesn't use old bristles. Now,

826
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 1: Quip is one of the first electric toothbrushes accepted by

827
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 1: the American Dental Association, and Cupcake can vouch for that

828
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:27,359
Speaker 1: one and has thousands of verified five stars reviews. Now,

829
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 1: I love Quip because it's really not that bulky or

830
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: hard to travel with. Because Ashley and I are always

831
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: on the go and there's no charger needed, so our

832
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 1: countertops are clutter free, which is very big because we

833
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: don't really have that much kitchen in the excuse me

834
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: bathroom sink area, so no charger are in there. And

835
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,439
Speaker 1: that's why we love Quip and they're backed by over

836
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:50,240
Speaker 1: twenty thousand dental professionals. Now Equip starts at just twenty

837
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: five dollars and if you go to get quip dot

838
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 1: com slash Jano right now, you'll get your first refill

839
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:02,800
Speaker 1: pack for free with a Quip electric toothbrush. That's right, folks,

840
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 1: just you get you get your first refill pack for free.

841
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: All you have to do is go to get quip

842
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:12,959
Speaker 1: dot com. That's g E T qu I P dot

843
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:18,240
Speaker 1: com slash Janna for free refiel pack. Hooligans are crashing

844
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 1: our podcast post. Well, it's a pretty cool podcast that

845
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:32,879
Speaker 1: Ashley and I have always hosted. Thank you guys. Yeah,

846
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 1: we heard that you guys were you know, in studio,

847
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: so we just god, we love that you guys talked

848
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,759
Speaker 1: about relationships and you know, you guys just have such

849
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: an inspiring story, the two of you. So we're trying

850
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 1: to open up like you guys can kind of learn

851
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 1: more about our relationships. Yeah, we've been doing this podcast

852
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: for about a year now, right, Ashley, yea, Yeah, it's

853
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: been it's been good. It was my idea. It was

854
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: did you know with wine? How did you come up

855
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: with wine down? I like wine? You do? Yeah? I

856
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,560
Speaker 1: drink wine sometimes, w H I and E because I

857
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 1: wine and then wine doesn't go up, it goes down,

858
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 1: it goes down the throat. So interesting, That's how I

859
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 1: came up. So what did you guys? Actually, why are

860
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: you crying? Oh we're just talking. I can't talking. Oh no,

861
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 1: do we come in about time? Weird? No people crying.

862
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: We're an emotional breakthrough. That's where we're at. We're just

863
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 1: talking about the evolution of a relationship, yeah, and how

864
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,320
Speaker 1: it changes over time. But that's not in a bad way,

865
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:33,879
Speaker 1: but just that love evolves, you know, for example, it's

866
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: it's very different what a relationship changes from when you

867
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 1: guys are not living together to when you are living together.

868
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: You know, I miss him touching me all the time.

869
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 1: It's very sweet, it's very adorable. And now that you

870
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,879
Speaker 1: guys live together, you feel like it's not as much. Well,

871
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 1: it's good to miss you, you you know you want to

872
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 1: that's what it missed each other, you know, And it's

873
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 1: harder when you're together all the time, you know. With

874
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 1: we've learned our love languages, you know, from listening to

875
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: y'all's podcast, we've learned about love language. Isn't about we

876
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 1: need so like I remember, like when you've talked about

877
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,839
Speaker 1: love languages, and like what I realized, Like with Mike,

878
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, for me, I'm like I I

879
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 1: like the touch and stuff. So actually, maybe you know

880
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,960
Speaker 1: that's just something that you you need and he has

881
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: to do a better job of showing and giving to

882
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 1: you because when you do live together and eventually when

883
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 1: you guys get married and you have kids, like that's

884
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 1: it's you have to remind yourself to do it because

885
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 1: it's hard, you know what I mean, Like you for

886
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 1: you forget about your spouse almost in a sense, I don't. Yeah,

887
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 1: you feel like you're passing each other so much throughout

888
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: the day, where even Jan and I we tried to

889
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,320
Speaker 1: based on what you guys have talked about on Wine Down,

890
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: you know, we've tried to connect and every time we

891
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 1: pass each other, even if it's a little like, you know,

892
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 1: pat on the butt or rub on the back or

893
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,439
Speaker 1: just something just so let each other know that we're there. So, Hey,

894
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 1: we're in the midst of it. We're raising kids, were

895
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 1: doing stuff, we're working. But hey, as I walk by you,

896
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a little tablet. You know I'm here. Yeah,

897
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 1: you always do that a little frustrating thing about this

898
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 1: conversation because it does make me feel like, I know

899
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: you do that. I do it a lot. Does do

900
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,280
Speaker 1: that a lot. He taps my butt all the time.

901
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 1: I literally I'm just talking. But it was like when

902
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,439
Speaker 1: we first started dating, obviously I couldn't, you know, keep

903
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,280
Speaker 1: my hands off her. And that has changed, obviously because

904
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 1: the last time I when was the last time I

905
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 1: didn't see you for a full day. I can't even remember.

906
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 1: It was the Bachelor finale. It was like three weeks ago.

907
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: But was it like only like it was it was

908
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:29,400
Speaker 1: thirty six hours? Yeah, not even I don't think anyway.

909
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: But um so, I there is that element of we

910
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: do just become so comfortable to each other and we're

911
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: such close friends that I feel like I'm very touchy,

912
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:41,839
Speaker 1: but not to the extent that I was you're absolutely rights.

913
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 1: Time goes on, is that? Yeah? You jes You commit

914
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 1: to continuing to give to each other, Like Jenna said,

915
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: it's like what can I do to give to you

916
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: every day? And there's a great thing. If you were

917
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 1: doing what you were doing in the beginning, the relationship

918
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: would never end. And you were doing in the beginning, Jared,

919
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 1: And so it's just about what do you need in

920
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: order to keep giving that because it lands so well

921
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 1: with her. Is a real expectation, though, to expect the

922
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 1: relationship to just be as hot and heavy as it

923
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 1: was and when you first started dating. It won't be this, Yes,

924
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: it can be. What I know about people who are

925
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: in their fifties and sixties is it's way hotter actually

926
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 1: because you're way more self aware and way more confident,

927
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 1: and and you give less. You know what's about a

928
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 1: lot of things in life, and it gets better. So

929
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 1: I wouldn't buy the social hypnosis that it's just going

930
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 1: to wind down. Not wind down good play, Uh huh.

931
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 1: It will change, It will have different flavors, but that

932
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: doesn't mean less than and I think all it does

933
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,439
Speaker 1: is call us to be more creative with each other

934
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 1: about how can I do that for you now? How

935
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 1: can I rock your world now? Maybe it's not the

936
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 1: same way if it used to be, But I'm still

937
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:06,240
Speaker 1: going to commit to making you feel loved, adore it, safe,

938
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 1: all the things that Ashley said that cuddling and touching

939
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,320
Speaker 1: gives her, and it will be such a deeper connection

940
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: to I mean how you guys maybe played with her

941
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 1: and made her feel like love and stuff. Now it's

942
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 1: like there's such a deeper love, like she's saying, you know,

943
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 1: so that way, it's like maybe you just have to

944
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 1: receive it differently. Yeah, and Jared, it's totally okay to

945
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 1: say I need some space, I need some time to

946
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 1: go off and like do my thing and go get

947
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: my energy back on and then come home and take you.

948
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: You know, like it's okay to ask for what you

949
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,359
Speaker 1: need in order to turn that back on. Yeah. The

950
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: thing is, though I feel I don't ever feel like

951
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 1: I need space. I think that's the We never need

952
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 1: space each other's and so it does come it gets

953
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 1: complacent sometimes, but it only gets complacent because it's never bad.

954
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 1: It's always good between us, but it's maybe not as

955
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,360
Speaker 1: great as it once was, not not the love, the

956
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 1: love has. Honestly, I'm more in love with you now

957
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: than I ever have been. But if you're speaking solely

958
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 1: on touch, physical touch aspect of it, it's certainly very high.

959
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 1: I mean, I touch you all the time, but it's

960
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 1: not like you were smothering me and like we always

961
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: have a joke, you smollering me and then like you

962
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: just sound like that at all, and for ye for

963
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:28,759
Speaker 1: that like honeymoon phase, and after six months it wasn't

964
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 1: an ending for the honeymoon phase. I feel like it was.

965
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:34,800
Speaker 1: It was certainly not an ending to the honeymoon phase.

966
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 1: Even though you guys don't feel like you need space

967
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 1: from each other. Is that something where you think in

968
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:44,839
Speaker 1: Shari you could speak on this too. Do you think

969
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 1: that'd be beneficial where you if you you guys made

970
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: each other take that time, like, hey, you know what,

971
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go take this day for myself. I'm gonna

972
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: go take half the half the day. That way, when

973
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 1: you do come back to each other, maybe it feels

974
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: like that a little bit more. Maybe your actions don't

975
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:59,320
Speaker 1: even change physically, but it feels like that because you

976
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: haven't seen each Oh, no, you're right, I know it

977
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:05,240
Speaker 1: would be beneficial. It's just the act of actually doing

978
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 1: even like going to the grocery store. It's like, no,

979
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: I want to go to the grocery store with Actually

980
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: I love being around. Actually it's really weird. It's quite pathetic, actually,

981
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 1: but but you're right, it's it's it's you know, if

982
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 1: we want that, you know, um, because there is a

983
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 1: certain fire that's lit under you ask when you don't

984
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 1: see your significant another for like, you know, a few

985
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:32,920
Speaker 1: days a week, Like it's only one way. I think

986
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 1: you guys can do other things. Will be in the

987
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: house together and say, all right, how are you gonna

988
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 1: light the fire today? Like what would excite you right now?

989
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: Like let's do something different. I mean, I think it's

990
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: really just about injecting newness and not getting too much

991
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 1: into the routine. That's fair, right, well, I mean just

992
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 1: even having different conversations, playing a crazy game, or like

993
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 1: bringing some new thoughts to each other, or I always

994
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:02,919
Speaker 1: he always wants to play games like board I played

995
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 1: card games or something different. I don't want to hold

996
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 1: the game. I like mind games. We can like questions.

997
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to play monopoly with you if you

998
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:17,800
Speaker 1: want me to. But that's not a way, it's spicing

999
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 1: as something up I play with at least acknowledge that

1000
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 1: I can never be the banker because I slide me

1001
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 1: a hundred every like an extra round. You ain't. You

1002
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 1: ain't trying to games. And by the way, if you

1003
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 1: guys have not noticed the actual that Ashley and Jared

1004
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:44,240
Speaker 1: are not the hosts of wind Dune are but actually,

1005
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 1: jar you guys, it's such a good job and you

1006
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 1: totally captured the spirit of wine down with tears in

1007
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:53,239
Speaker 1: a relationship and connecting because you're going to leave. Yes

1008
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 1: it's like sad, but you're gonna leave connected, you know

1009
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 1: you really we appreciate you letting us crash this podcast

1010
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 1: for a day. How often real fools. But no to

1011
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,400
Speaker 1: to Jane this testament what she's saying about you guys,

1012
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 1: the fact that not everyone is willing to come in

1013
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 1: here and yeah, shed those layers and dig into that stuff.

1014
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,000
Speaker 1: So kudos to you guys are being willing to open

1015
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 1: up and talk about that on here. So we're pumped.

1016
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: When our producer told us that you guys were the

1017
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 1: one stepping in, We're could be more excited. We thank you, guys.

1018
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 1: This is the one that we wanted to take over

1019
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 1: because we knew, because you can learn something new about

1020
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 1: their relationship and what things you might have to work on.

1021
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:28,919
Speaker 1: And you guys, you guys did a great job and

1022
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 1: you're not alone. There's so many girls that feel the

1023
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 1: same way. Ash so in same with you, Jared. Well,

1024
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 1: I'm glad that we did this because it is nice

1025
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 1: for people to know that it's not perfect. It's not perfect.

1026
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: You know. I feel like a lot of people just

1027
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 1: look at our social media and think, wow, there everything

1028
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 1: so good. Everything is so perfect, and it is so

1029
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 1: wonderful and I'm so happy. But of course it's not

1030
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: a perfect relationship. We have to be fully human to

1031
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: be in this and get messy and love each other well,

1032
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what you're doing. How often do you

1033
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 1: guys carry the podcast? Oh? I cry at least like

1034
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 1: every other Monday of the podcast for sure. So ok, yeah,

1035
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 1: so that's I mean again, you totally like embrace the

1036
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 1: whole content of wind Down and been able to. But

1037
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 1: you guys are now like connected on a different level

1038
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:15,720
Speaker 1: right now, right, yeah, of course, So it's good. Thanks guys,

1039
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 1: thank you. Oh yes, and if you want to see uh,

1040
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: Mike and I live. Unfortunately Jared and Nashley can't come,

1041
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 1: but if they're in the Boston, New York or Virginia area,

1042
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 1: we are taking wine down on the road. We're so

1043
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: excited May eighteen, Boston, Virginia, New York. We're taking wind

1044
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 1: out on the road. We're gonna want to connect with

1045
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,359
Speaker 1: you guys, just like Jared Nasha did to talk about

1046
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 1: the relationship with you. Guys. Want to work on and

1047
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sing some some new songs like my new

1048
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 1: single Beautiful Eyes. So you guys had to Janna Kramer

1049
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:47,360
Speaker 1: dot com to get the tickets and we're excited to

1050
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,360
Speaker 1: see you out on the road. Yeah, go get those tickets.

1051
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: You guys going or Virginia. I know, Yeah, you guys

1052
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 1: gonna check out? Are you guys should go to Fenway Park?

1053
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: I thought that would be awesome. Shake Shack is a

1054
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 1: modern day roadside burger stand known for its percent all

1055
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: natural angles, beef burgers, chicken sandwiches, and flat top vana

1056
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:11,280
Speaker 1: beef dogs, no hormones or antibotics ever, spun fresh frozen custard,

1057
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 1: crinkle cut fries, craft beer, wine, and more. With its fresh, simple,

1058
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 1: high quality food, a great value Shakeshack is fun in

1059
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 1: lively community gathering place with a little something for everyone.

1060
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 1: Shake Shack just launched their new menu item, chicken Bites.

1061
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 1: Head to one of their eight locations for l A

1062
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: to give them a try. Locations include West Hollywood, Hollywood, Glendale, Burbank,

1063
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:35,080
Speaker 1: Century City, Westlake Village, Elsa, Gundo in downtown Los Angeles. Alright,

1064
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: you guys, can you guys wrap up our show? Please?

1065
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 1: Yes we will. Oh my goodness, April Fool's Day brings

1066
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 1: out the craziest things and people. But that was Janna Kramer,

1067
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 1: who actually hosts this show. But where we before we

1068
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 1: wrap this up? We do have another envelope here of

1069
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: what Ashley says. So the first envelope was La La Land.

1070
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,919
Speaker 1: This one wrong and now this is the correct best pitch,

1071
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,760
Speaker 1: sure winner. So this is what says She and Share

1072
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 1: need to work on their relationship. This has not been

1073
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,760
Speaker 1: revealed to Share before. It's all about his hatred for

1074
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 1: l A and the anxiety it brings in. He's a

1075
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:14,400
Speaker 1: far more anxious person than I ever knew before we

1076
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 1: were together. It affects his me a lot. See, this

1077
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: is my point. I'm not the guy you thought I

1078
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 1: want to know. Okay, So I actually think that everything

1079
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 1: we talked about on his side, like all the romance

1080
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 1: stuff actually happens, it actually is very connected to his

1081
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 1: own mental state right now. I think he's not touching

1082
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:35,800
Speaker 1: me and not being as lovely anymore because I think

1083
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 1: that he has anxiety that needs to actually be dealt with,

1084
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 1: because I think it rolls over into a depression category

1085
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 1: as well. That sounds true, Jad, I don't know if

1086
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 1: it's I. I wouldn't use the word depression. I think

1087
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 1: everybody gets scared when they say the word depression. I

1088
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,440
Speaker 1: think that like everybody's like, oh my god, I'm not

1089
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 1: that bad. No, it's not a that bad thing. It's

1090
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 1: just my mental state. I think I'm listen. I was

1091
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 1: born and raised twenty nine years in Rhode Island. I've

1092
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 1: I never lived twenty minutes for my friends, and also

1093
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 1: so the adjustment to l A has been a little

1094
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: bit of a struggle for me. Um. I also think

1095
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:19,240
Speaker 1: it doesn't help that I had such a core group

1096
00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 1: of people that I was very close with back home,

1097
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of times it was I

1098
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: would lean on them, not to say I can't lean

1099
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 1: on you, actually I think it's just different, right, It's

1100
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 1: just an adjustment period of kind of everything happened so quickly.

1101
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 1: I moved to l A, we started dating, we got engaged,

1102
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:42,439
Speaker 1: moved in together, um, planning a marriage, all the things

1103
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,479
Speaker 1: I want. I want to marry you. I cannot wait

1104
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 1: for our wedding. But I'm also very excited at weddings

1105
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 1: back home because I just want I want you, which

1106
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 1: is why I'm here. But I also want you incorporated

1107
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: with the people that I love. And so I think.

1108
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 1: I also think, if I'm being honest, I'm just more

1109
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 1: confident back in Rhode Island. Maybe it's a big fish

1110
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:11,760
Speaker 1: in a small pond syndrome. Um, but I find myself, Ah,

1111
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 1: I find myself uh cooler, not even just but like

1112
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 1: wittier and like more touchy with you, and just there's

1113
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: it's a certain level of comfortable nous that is is

1114
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 1: not okay. And it's honestly a character flaw. Because I

1115
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 1: wish I could go out, I think, I yeah, I

1116
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know, I don't know. He's more lovely, Yeah,

1117
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 1: because he's more his high hisself, he's bolstered by community

1118
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 1: and tons of connection and He's got a lot of

1119
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 1: certainty because he can walk around that place. He knows

1120
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,560
Speaker 1: everything about it. This is not a character flaw, Jared.

1121
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 1: You're just in a new environment and you don't have

1122
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:57,640
Speaker 1: that kind of community. And that's what would explain why

1123
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 1: you two like to be together, and that because you

1124
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 1: make each other feel safe and connected to something. Yeah,

1125
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 1: I would agree with that. Jared says he doesn't feel safe,

1126
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 1: like when he even leaves at the house and La, No,

1127
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 1: it's not it's not like not like a safe heat emotionally,

1128
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 1: not like safety like physically. No, I mean a little

1129
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 1: bit of both, if I'm being honest. Um, but yeah,

1130
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you gunna say something that, um, I don't

1131
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 1: know that's unpredictable and unknown. It's almost too much unknown.

1132
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: And we're talking about injecting your relationship with a lot

1133
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 1: of newness. It's like that town though, is almost too

1134
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: much of that for you. Yeah, And like I said,

1135
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 1: I think every you know, when I first saw I

1136
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:47,040
Speaker 1: moved out here in November. I moved in with my

1137
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: buddy Nick, who's who was very adamant about me just

1138
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 1: coming out and give an l a try. And then

1139
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:55,000
Speaker 1: so I moved out here for like a month and

1140
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 1: a half before I went home for the holidays, and

1141
01:01:57,560 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 1: I was going to go back, but I didn't know

1142
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 1: how well. I had to go back into l A

1143
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 1: to find out what the hell was going on with

1144
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 1: Ashley at the time, and and so I I never

1145
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 1: forcesaw myself being out in l A too long, excuse me.

1146
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 1: And then obviously we started we started dating, and then

1147
01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:20,240
Speaker 1: I kind of put like I said earlier, I think

1148
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 1: I do good job putting my insecurities to this side

1149
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 1: to project the best version of myself to obtain what

1150
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 1: I want. Um. And then I think I did that

1151
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:29,280
Speaker 1: for a very long time, and we moved in and

1152
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: I think some of those insecurities started coming back and

1153
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm I'm here, I'm in l A.

1154
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 1: I'm not going back home, um for a while for

1155
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:41,479
Speaker 1: your plan. But also I mean, if I'm being honest,

1156
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 1: we always talked about this four year plan. But I'm

1157
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,880
Speaker 1: very nervous about you moving back east because I'm very

1158
01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 1: nervous about the opposite happening with you, which is what's

1159
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:54,760
Speaker 1: happening with me right now. This adjustment period, unsure of

1160
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:58,160
Speaker 1: of of things, and and and and work and all

1161
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 1: that jazz. Um, you know, the most important thing I'm

1162
01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 1: sure of, which is you, which I'm very grateful for. Um,

1163
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:06,720
Speaker 1: But I'm nervous. You know, say we do move to

1164
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,280
Speaker 1: you know, Boston in five years, you know, knock on

1165
01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 1: wood luckily, hope everything goes well. Um, how do I

1166
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: know that You're just not going to have the same

1167
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 1: go through the same thing I'm going through right now,

1168
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:20,120
Speaker 1: which is a really difficult adjustment period because you've you

1169
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 1: you like light and that's you know, Yeah, I think

1170
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 1: it stresses us out that like we're going to have

1171
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:29,600
Speaker 1: to he is compromising where he's living now and then

1172
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to compromise in a couple of years.

1173
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:34,640
Speaker 1: And I think it stresses us out because are we

1174
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,480
Speaker 1: both gonna be able to be in a place that

1175
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 1: makes us happy? Right at the same time it creates

1176
01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 1: So if we look at it like this that rather

1177
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:47,440
Speaker 1: than compromise, I think we use everything in life to

1178
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:52,240
Speaker 1: make us a better human. That everything can teach us something.

1179
01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 1: And if you look at like you being pulled out

1180
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 1: of your comfort zone, and you know that saying that

1181
01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 1: life begins beyond your comfort zone. We wrote a hold

1182
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 1: that about it, right Yeah, you're doing that. You are

1183
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:07,080
Speaker 1: in that right now, and you are learning that ultimately,

1184
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 1: your your best self, your most you know, the guy

1185
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:16,200
Speaker 1: that you become when you're around your community is in there.

1186
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 1: He's in there right now. How what do you need

1187
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 1: to bring him out? No matter where you are, because

1188
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: you're going to travel in life, You're gonna go through

1189
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:26,800
Speaker 1: different cases in life, are going to keep throwing you

1190
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 1: off that center. And this is why people meditate and

1191
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:32,520
Speaker 1: do yoga, you know, practice, How can I bring that

1192
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:35,439
Speaker 1: guy out consistently no matter where I am, no matter

1193
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 1: what's going on in my environment. That's obviously what we're

1194
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 1: here too, you know, grow into it's it's the highest work.

1195
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:46,200
Speaker 1: And and then what's kind of beautiful is you're going

1196
01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 1: to do your part to learn where that is inside you.

1197
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 1: And then actually you're gonna have experiment too, and you're

1198
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:54,600
Speaker 1: gonna learn how to dig deep and find that person

1199
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:57,400
Speaker 1: and you no matter where you are, you'll learn a

1200
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:01,840
Speaker 1: ton about yourselves and about each other in that process.

1201
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:05,320
Speaker 1: And then maybe you both come together after it's done

1202
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 1: done and you decide where can we now be? That

1203
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:12,200
Speaker 1: would bring out the best in both of us. I

1204
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:16,120
Speaker 1: don't know if that's a new third location. But I

1205
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:19,280
Speaker 1: feel like it's not compromise. You both are really diving

1206
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 1: into something that's going to make you better. Well, I

1207
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 1: also am realizing that I have to create my own happiness.

1208
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 1: Ashley is not going to be my only supply of it.

1209
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm realizing that, especially within the past week

1210
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 1: or so. I'd probably say, um, you know, making this

1211
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 1: is another dumb comment, like I'm shooting like golf clubs

1212
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:46,520
Speaker 1: out here because I love playing sports. I miss playing

1213
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:48,120
Speaker 1: I played golf in a very long time. I used

1214
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:51,400
Speaker 1: to play all the time back in Rhode Island. Um.

1215
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 1: And so just something like that, like actively being like, okay, um,

1216
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:58,680
Speaker 1: you know, find somebody who wants to go golfing with you,

1217
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 1: Like you have my any Tanners out here now, which

1218
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 1: helps a lot. And I do have friends. Dean is

1219
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 1: a is a good friend of mine. And so it's

1220
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,919
Speaker 1: more so, like we've stated before, like doing a better

1221
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 1: job of me uh, letting people know what I want,

1222
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 1: you know, instead of you know, waiting for someone to

1223
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,000
Speaker 1: see if I want to go golfing with them. You know,

1224
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 1: I'll get my clothes out here and be like, hey,

1225
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:21,080
Speaker 1: you want to go golfling next week and and or

1226
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:24,000
Speaker 1: you know or or whatever. You know, I'm playing sports

1227
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 1: or um you know, I don't know, I don't know.

1228
01:06:27,960 --> 01:06:30,840
Speaker 1: It's sometimes I do hate leaving the house in l

1229
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:34,560
Speaker 1: A though. I gotta be honest, it's just terrible. Make

1230
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:39,480
Speaker 1: you face all that uncertainty and I'll go a stranger. Yeah,

1231
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,400
Speaker 1: I just I just I hate it. You know that.

1232
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:42,960
Speaker 1: There's a lot of times where I don't like it

1233
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 1: because it and actually noticed when I'm back home, I

1234
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 1: don't mind leaving the house at all. I like, I

1235
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:50,760
Speaker 1: don't like being at the house at home. It's so

1236
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:56,840
Speaker 1: it's just complete opposite spectrums. But what you've got to

1237
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:58,920
Speaker 1: learn is you've got to learn more about l A

1238
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 1: and make l A more comfortable for you. You You know,

1239
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:04,280
Speaker 1: when we get into a relationship, I think we're signing

1240
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:07,120
Speaker 1: up to give to someone at a at a big level,

1241
01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 1: Like you've signed up to give to actually for the

1242
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:11,280
Speaker 1: rest of her life, give to her happiness, give to

1243
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 1: her well being, all of that. And I think there's

1244
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:17,120
Speaker 1: there's a strategy. The more you want to give, the

1245
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,560
Speaker 1: more you need. So if I'm going to give to

1246
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:21,760
Speaker 1: you and be my best self for you, actually I

1247
01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 1: need to go golfing, I need to go make friends.

1248
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:26,480
Speaker 1: I need to make myself comfortable on account so I

1249
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:30,560
Speaker 1: can keep loving on you. Well, don't throw your needs

1250
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 1: under the bus, all right, Well, sure, I really appreciate

1251
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:37,240
Speaker 1: you joining us today. You have taught us a lot

1252
01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:40,240
Speaker 1: about you talked like almost the entire time. Babe, you

1253
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:44,480
Speaker 1: just talked about talked. Don't don't feel bad, but I

1254
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:46,840
Speaker 1: have more to unload with you. I don't want to say,

1255
01:07:46,920 --> 01:07:50,600
Speaker 1: you know, like you have far more come. You're just

1256
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:54,040
Speaker 1: You're just more complex, and it's I think it's just

1257
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 1: a lot. Uh. I think just a lot has been

1258
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 1: predicated on me with our relationship over the past year.

1259
01:08:01,080 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 1: You know, not in a bad way. That does sound

1260
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 1: like a bad No, I don't mean that, but just

1261
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:08,160
Speaker 1: in terms of, like, you know, because it was you

1262
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,560
Speaker 1: for a while, because you were, you know, so open

1263
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 1: with your feelings, and I was obviously very confused in

1264
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:14,520
Speaker 1: the past years, Like, Okay, I need to step up

1265
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:17,519
Speaker 1: and show her how I feel because I've been screwing

1266
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:19,880
Speaker 1: up for so long and then obviously me moving in

1267
01:08:19,960 --> 01:08:22,720
Speaker 1: with you up. But You've been kept a lot in

1268
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:26,080
Speaker 1: and I've always let everything out. Yeah, and then you know,

1269
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:28,679
Speaker 1: obviously me making sure that I have to stay out here,

1270
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,880
Speaker 1: and then you know, I'm moving in with you, and

1271
01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 1: and then finding my footing in Los Angeles has been

1272
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:35,920
Speaker 1: a little bit difficult that sometimes, Yeah, I just feel

1273
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,800
Speaker 1: like sometimes he's like just gives up on like finding

1274
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:41,280
Speaker 1: happiness in l A. Well, it's I'm scared of failure,

1275
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:42,600
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, that's why I didn't move on

1276
01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 1: to land for so long. It's I'm I'm sometimes I

1277
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:48,639
Speaker 1: can be a wreck. I'm if I don't go after

1278
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:51,800
Speaker 1: the things I want, then I can never fail, you know.

1279
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,600
Speaker 1: And so and I don't know why. I see, like

1280
01:08:54,640 --> 01:08:57,120
Speaker 1: we have totally met different mentalities. We can honestly talk forever.

1281
01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,519
Speaker 1: But I've never been afraid to fail. I don't know

1282
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:02,320
Speaker 1: any why anybody would feel silly about it. I'm not

1283
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 1: saying it's a good quality. I hope nobody else has

1284
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:09,040
Speaker 1: that quality of people have that quality. I think anybody

1285
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 1: who identifies in a in a in a masculine sensor,

1286
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 1: who is out there to achieve, is going to have

1287
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:19,360
Speaker 1: that be their highest fear. I have heard that for

1288
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,519
Speaker 1: all my years doing this work, that the fear of

1289
01:09:22,520 --> 01:09:26,280
Speaker 1: failure is real and the good. The really good reason

1290
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:29,000
Speaker 1: underneath that that I think is so wonderful about you

1291
01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:30,639
Speaker 1: is you just want to do such a good job

1292
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:33,200
Speaker 1: at everything. You just want to be such a good human.

1293
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,880
Speaker 1: I mean that's a really great quality. He wants to

1294
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:40,200
Speaker 1: be a superman. Yeah, so like what do you need

1295
01:09:40,240 --> 01:09:43,320
Speaker 1: to be? That is the big question for you, kay

1296
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:46,080
Speaker 1: and day out, minute by minute. It's yeah, it is

1297
01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 1: a positive under a line, but at the same time,

1298
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:54,080
Speaker 1: it hinders everybody who also has that fear of being

1299
01:09:54,280 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 1: the best version of themselves. It really does. So it's

1300
01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:01,240
Speaker 1: it's counteractive and it makes you less of a better

1301
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,439
Speaker 1: human being, if that makes sense, because you could be

1302
01:10:03,479 --> 01:10:05,000
Speaker 1: doing more, Like I know, I could be doing more.

1303
01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:09,000
Speaker 1: My capabilities are far more than I I you know,

1304
01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:12,000
Speaker 1: put out there. So it's just kind of like that.

1305
01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:17,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't counteract is for you to honestly give yourself

1306
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:22,160
Speaker 1: so much of what you need, you know, constantly asking yourself,

1307
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:23,760
Speaker 1: what do I need in order to do this right now?

1308
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:25,360
Speaker 1: What do I need in order to go outside? What

1309
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:27,680
Speaker 1: I need in order to connect with Ashley? Well, we

1310
01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:29,120
Speaker 1: got to wrap that up. I don't know if that's

1311
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 1: it though. If I would love to have you more

1312
01:10:31,120 --> 01:10:33,960
Speaker 1: on the podcast two, because I don't know if that's it.

1313
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:36,920
Speaker 1: We are like getting the wrap up signals right now,

1314
01:10:38,560 --> 01:10:42,080
Speaker 1: Like I could honestly just spend another two hours probably

1315
01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 1: with you on the thumb. Me too. We'll do it again. Well,

1316
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:48,720
Speaker 1: thank you, all right, we'll share your Thank you so

1317
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:52,720
Speaker 1: much for joining us. Where can everybody find you at

1318
01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:58,679
Speaker 1: three healy dot com. It's yeah, I'll say real quick

1319
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 1: at h E R I E and you'll find it

1320
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:06,639
Speaker 1: all right, shree Healey dot com sre once again, thank

1321
01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:13,599
Speaker 1: you so much, thank you so much, thank you by well,

1322
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:15,880
Speaker 1: that was very Actually I feel so bad because I

1323
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:17,600
Speaker 1: felt like you didn't really get to talk all that

1324
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:20,639
Speaker 1: often because it was just diagnosing a lot of my issues. Shared.

1325
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:23,800
Speaker 1: This is this is, this is what you needed. What

1326
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:26,080
Speaker 1: are you talking about? It's funny because you know, I

1327
01:11:26,120 --> 01:11:29,280
Speaker 1: feel like we already are My issues don't need a

1328
01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:32,720
Speaker 1: lot of analyzation. Yeah, because you are. You are very

1329
01:11:32,720 --> 01:11:34,640
Speaker 1: open with them. And it's a great quality to have.

1330
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:38,080
Speaker 1: And which is why people UH relate to you and

1331
01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:40,240
Speaker 1: also look up to you so much, is because they

1332
01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:42,479
Speaker 1: just you know, even for me, I want to have

1333
01:11:42,520 --> 01:11:44,680
Speaker 1: that quality. I wish I had that quality that you have,

1334
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:47,920
Speaker 1: which is this is how I'm feeling. I'm gonna let

1335
01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:50,200
Speaker 1: you know how I'm feeling. Also, this is what I want,

1336
01:11:50,520 --> 01:11:52,000
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna put it out there so we can

1337
01:11:52,040 --> 01:11:55,080
Speaker 1: work towards it instead of me just holding onto it

1338
01:11:55,120 --> 01:11:58,360
Speaker 1: inside and you having to try to like figure out

1339
01:11:58,439 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 1: what exactly it is that's on my mind. Yeah, but

1340
01:12:01,439 --> 01:12:03,240
Speaker 1: look how good you are when you do start rolling

1341
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:07,720
Speaker 1: with it. Yeah. But it's it's you're very relatable and

1342
01:12:07,880 --> 01:12:11,120
Speaker 1: very it's it's frustrating from my own point of view

1343
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:13,760
Speaker 1: because I don't practice what I preach like I'm going

1344
01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:15,360
Speaker 1: to talk about it. We talked about it for an

1345
01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:17,880
Speaker 1: hour right now, I feel great about it. Is it

1346
01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:21,439
Speaker 1: gonna stick? Who the hell knows? Yeah, but I love you.

1347
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:24,759
Speaker 1: I love you. Let's do a few thank you before

1348
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:26,599
Speaker 1: we go. We have to obviously do a big thank

1349
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,439
Speaker 1: you to Shari Heally. You can find her at shar

1350
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:33,280
Speaker 1: heally dot com. I'm pronouncing that correctly, Shari Heally. Yes,

1351
01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:35,320
Speaker 1: she was quite lovely. She put up with a lot

1352
01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:37,200
Speaker 1: of our crap and listen to everything we had to say.

1353
01:12:38,200 --> 01:12:42,439
Speaker 1: Stop putting yourself down. Uh. Also a big thank you

1354
01:12:42,479 --> 01:12:45,120
Speaker 1: to open Fit. You can get full access to open fit,

1355
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:49,040
Speaker 1: all the workouts and the nutrition information totally free. All

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Speaker 1: to stamps dot com and big thank you to stamps

1361
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01:13:20,080 --> 01:13:21,880
Speaker 1: we know that Janna Mike would love to see you

1366
01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:25,720
Speaker 1: at the Lab show in Burbank tomorrow night. If you

1367
01:13:25,760 --> 01:13:27,160
Speaker 1: are in l A, you'll be able to listen to

1368
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:31,360
Speaker 1: another Wine Down episode this Wednesday. Also, a big thank you.

1369
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Speaker 1: This is Actuley. This has you written all over it. Oh,

1370
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Speaker 1: delicious tomorrow. And a big thank you to Duncan Donuts.

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Speaker 1: download app right now. Big thank you Easton Ashley and

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Speaker 1: help I second dating usually we say, uh, hope you know,

1395
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:01,840
Speaker 1: into next week we're hopefully we suck a little less,

1396
01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:04,680
Speaker 1: so thank you for tuning into wine Down, and then

1397
01:15:04,720 --> 01:15:09,839
Speaker 1: hopefully next week we'll drink more wine.