Speaker 1: Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: I read this on Viola Davis's Internet today and it says,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just something for us to think about.
Speaker 1: If you let other people repeatedly violate your boundaries just
Speaker 1: to keep the peace, ask yourself, whose piece is really
Speaker 1: being protected here? And that was from someone on the internet,
Speaker 1: Michelle C. Clark. I have no idea who that is,
Speaker 1: but I saw it and I saved it because it's
Speaker 1: something to think about. To further expound on that, another
Speaker 1: question to ask yourself is why am I protecting their
Speaker 1: piece and allowing my piece to be disrupted? Setting boundaries
Speaker 1: and standing ten toes down and making sure that those
Speaker 1: boundaries are respected and upheld is difficult. I just started
Speaker 1: to get good at that maybe last December this January.
Speaker 1: But it's essential for a peaceful life. So that's just
Speaker 1: something to think about, like, whose peace are you protecting
Speaker 1: if you allow people to just consistently violate your boundaries?
Speaker 1: And if you don't take your boundaries seriously, why in
Speaker 1: the hell would anybody else take your boundary seriously. It's
Speaker 1: time to get this party started. I can't see okay,
Speaker 1: what's up y'all welcome to hand me my purse the
Speaker 1: podcast I am Me Me Walker, and I will be
Speaker 1: here forever, host each and every single time you tune
Speaker 1: into this podcast. So go ahead and get comfortable. Get
Speaker 1: yourself a glass or a cup or a mug or
Speaker 1: a mayonnaise jar of your favorite beverage, whether that's grapefruit,
Speaker 1: sparkling water, some tart cherry juice which happens to be
Speaker 1: really good for inflammation by the way, a hot cup
Speaker 1: of Moroccan mint tea which is also good for digestive
Speaker 1: issues and issues around your gut and gut pain, or
Speaker 1: some Ian j chilled which is not good for anything,
Speaker 1: especially if you want to have a healthy functioning liver.
Speaker 1: But either way, if that's your jam, not here to
Speaker 1: judge you go light yourself a candle or some incense,
Speaker 1: or burn some sage and just get ready to chill
Speaker 1: out and have yourself a good time, all right, So
Speaker 1: friends and can let me go ahead and get into
Speaker 1: what I'm sipping on today. Today, I'm sipping on beer,
Speaker 1: or I was sipping on a beer not too long ago.
Speaker 1: I am really picky about beer, as it's not my
Speaker 1: favorite beverage to sip on. It's not my go to
Speaker 1: beverage if I go out, if I'm at a bar,
Speaker 1: or if I'm out having a good time. But I
Speaker 1: don't hate beer. Some women are like ew beer. I'm
Speaker 1: not like that. I do like the fact that beer
Speaker 1: has carbonation and not a lot of alcoholic beverages have those,
Speaker 1: except for the love of my life champagne or prosecco,
Speaker 1: which is just champagne. But that's neither here nor there.
Speaker 1: I really like beer because it helps me to belch,
Speaker 1: and I enjoy a good belch. Don't judge me for that.
Speaker 1: I have some digestive issues, and belching for me usually
Speaker 1: means relief, So I don't mind a good belch. And
Speaker 1: I've had some really, really tasty beers. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say the type of beer, but you know what,
Speaker 1: never mind, I'm going to say it. It's Stella Artois.
Speaker 1: I am a big fan. It doesn't taste like sadness
Speaker 1: or dirty old men or cigars or cigarettes, so I
Speaker 1: enjoy the way that it tastes. But I will not
Speaker 1: drink a beer out of a bottle for some reason.
Speaker 1: I just will not. I cannot commit to doing that.
Speaker 1: And when I see women drinking beer out of a bottle,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my goodness, couldn't you have gotten a cup?
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. Maybe I was an
Speaker 1: etiquette class teacher in a past life, but I just
Speaker 1: won't drink beer out of a bottle. But anyway, do
Speaker 1: you guys drink beer? Does any of my friends again
Speaker 1: drink beer? I'm sure some of you do. And if
Speaker 1: you do, what kind of beer do you like? Put
Speaker 1: me onto some new beers. I'm a fan of I
Speaker 1: don't mind a hard sider, but I don't like those
Speaker 1: ones that taste like Martinelli's sparkling Apple juice, like Angry Orchard.
Speaker 1: That's just a little too much for me. I don't
Speaker 1: really like the super sour ones, but I've had some
Speaker 1: really good ciders that don't taste like juice. I prefer
Speaker 1: a light beer like a Belgian ale or a Hefa
Speaker 1: Iison if you will, because it's not as heavy. But
Speaker 1: if you know about a beer that might fit that,
Speaker 1: you know, beer demographic, let me know, put me on
Speaker 1: something new, because I'm always looking for some new things
Speaker 1: to try out. Oh yeah, so for today's Jam. For
Speaker 1: today's episode Jam, I decided to ask my guests what
Speaker 1: do you think the jam should be? What would you
Speaker 1: want to get jam to be? And so my guest
Speaker 1: today is one of my best friends. Her name is Crystal.
Speaker 1: I have two best friends. One is Natalie, that's my
Speaker 1: best friend from middle Liane in high school and we
Speaker 1: are still together till this day. And my best friend
Speaker 1: from college who is still my friend and who is
Speaker 1: my best friend and my friendship span years. And so
Speaker 1: I asked Crystal, I said, what do you think the
Speaker 1: jam should be? And she said she chose. I said,
Speaker 1: you can choose. She said Cozy by Beyonce, And when
Speaker 1: you hear the conversation, it'll make sense why she chose that.
Speaker 1: But the funny part is that she and I went
Speaker 1: to see Beyonce last month in May, and we went
Speaker 1: to Paris to see Beyonce, and neither one of us
Speaker 1: has had listened to the Renaissance album before we decided
Speaker 1: that we were going to see Beyonce. I didn't listen
Speaker 1: to the Renaissance album until a week or maybe four
Speaker 1: to five days before I left to go to Paris
Speaker 1: to see bem Say. And the best part, the sweetest part,
Speaker 1: is that the day that we were getting ready to
Speaker 1: you know, go to the show, you know, showering, putting
Speaker 1: our stuff on, the makeup and all of our accoutrement
Speaker 1: to go to the show. We decided that we were
Speaker 1: going to listen to the album, and I said, we
Speaker 1: need to listen to this so that we don't look
Speaker 1: stupid at this show. And we're the only ones who
Speaker 1: don't know the songs. Even if we don't know them,
Speaker 1: we can be familiar with the beats so that we
Speaker 1: can kind of like dance to them. And that is
Speaker 1: when we pretty much became familiar with the songs on
Speaker 1: the album as we were getting dressed to go to
Speaker 1: this show. So maybe four hours before the show started
Speaker 1: is when, and actually that's pretty stinking accurate. Four to
Speaker 1: five hours before the show started is when we started
Speaker 1: really listening to the album saying, oh, we like this song.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this one is good. So that is what happened.
Speaker 1: So she chose that song, and I'm glad that she did.
Speaker 1: I'm going to read some of the lyrics to you
Speaker 1: because it's a it's a pretty dope song. The song
Speaker 1: is basically about being comfortable in your skin. The song
Speaker 1: is called Cozy, being cozy in your skin and just
Speaker 1: loving yourself. And if that ain't a hand me my
Speaker 1: purse anthem. I don't know what it is, what would be?
Speaker 1: Excuse me? What it is? What it is? So what's
Speaker 1: the I'm sorry? So I want to read you guys.
Speaker 1: An excerpt from the song, it says, she's a god,
Speaker 1: she's a hero, she survived all she's been through. Confident.
Speaker 1: I suggestion with my sister because she ain't comfortable comfortable
Speaker 1: in my skin, Cozy with who I am comfortable in
Speaker 1: my skin, Cozy, cozy, comfortable in my skin. Feed up
Speaker 1: above your sins. I love myself, God, damn cozy Cozy.
Speaker 1: I love that. You know. I never noticed this part
Speaker 1: feet up above your sins. Come on now, Beyonce, I
Speaker 1: don't think you wrote that, but still I love that. Anyway.
Speaker 1: Check the song out, Check the whole album out. I'm
Speaker 1: late to the party, but something about me is that
Speaker 1: when everybody is on something, I tend to reject it
Speaker 1: or run in the opposite direction. And I'll give it
Speaker 1: some time and then I'll check it out. It's really
Speaker 1: a dope album. Ever since I've been back, I've listened
Speaker 1: to the album almost every day. I really love it,
Speaker 1: and I highly suggest even if you're not a Beyonce fan,
Speaker 1: check that song out because that is definitely a self
Speaker 1: love anthem. Cozy by Beyonce. Check it out. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: So I am here today with my bestie. Her name
Speaker 1: is what is your name? Introduce yourself.
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Crystal, Crystal Lindsay, and I am so excited
Speaker 2: to be here with my beat app as. We have
Speaker 2: a good time. It's going down.
Speaker 1: It's going down, Okay. So we are going to talk
Speaker 1: today primarily about we just took a trip. We are
Speaker 1: always taking trips is kind of our mo it is
Speaker 1: what we do. We go one thing about us, We're
Speaker 1: gonna go on a trip together. And we just took
Speaker 1: a major trip. Well it wasn't really major, but it
Speaker 1: was major because we went to see Queen Beyonce in Paris.
Speaker 2: And it was major because we were there together, yes,
Speaker 2: And it was major because we did all the things.
Speaker 1: All of the things. And so we're going to share
Speaker 1: our experience in Paris, going to see Beyonce and talk
Speaker 1: a little bit about friendships because I never knew until
Speaker 1: like maybe four or five years ago, that so many people,
Speaker 1: particularly black women, struggle to maintain healthy friendships at one another.
Speaker 1: Do you see that sometimes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know sometimes I think it's a matter
Speaker 2: of not being reflective if you can, if you I
Speaker 2: think that everybody should have at least two people that
Speaker 2: they can go to, especially black women, because we you know,
Speaker 2: we're pretty powerful. And so I think what happens is
Speaker 2: if you don't have just too, just too, then you
Speaker 2: got to do some reflecting and figure out what's happening
Speaker 2: and how come you don't have those two people. It
Speaker 2: is a blessing.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a big, big blessing, absolutely, And it's.
Speaker 2: Really important to be in a space with your friends
Speaker 2: where you don't have to worry about being judged.
Speaker 1: That's just lose. So you think it's being reflective, I
Speaker 1: think that just like I think one thing that you
Speaker 1: always told me that I never really paid attention to.
Speaker 1: For me, it's about being authentic. I think that there
Speaker 1: are so many people who are not authentic, just in
Speaker 1: there waking everyday lives like they wake up, they put
Speaker 1: on a mask and there's somebody else every day And
Speaker 1: the thought of that makes me want to vomit. Like no,
Speaker 1: it does, because like it's so emotionally taxing to have
Speaker 1: to go through life putting on like a show. And
Speaker 1: I think that the blessing that I have in my
Speaker 1: friendships and especially in our friendship is that it's like,
Speaker 1: this is who I am, this is what you're gonna get,
Speaker 1: and not coming from a negative space, but like, I
Speaker 1: don't really give a fuck.
Speaker 2: I get that. I think though, a part of it
Speaker 2: is that over time, how you get to that place
Speaker 2: starts with self though, like I know who I am,
Speaker 2: I know who you are. When you tell me you
Speaker 2: did some something, you did it, you did it, or
Speaker 2: somebody told me she said this, I say, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: sorry about that. That's all I got. I don't have
Speaker 2: a whole lot of backwards and force. But it's because
Speaker 2: you know who you are and I know who I am, right,
Speaker 2: And so how can you be your authentic self with
Speaker 2: someone else if you're not really sure who you are?
Speaker 2: And I think sometimes that's where the struggle is, And
Speaker 2: how then do you get to authenticity?
Speaker 1: That's a excuse me, that might be a show in
Speaker 1: and of itself, like how do we get to that space?
Speaker 1: And I don't really know if I think I've kind
Speaker 1: of been in that mind frame though, since I was
Speaker 1: a kid, though, you know what I mean. Now, there
Speaker 1: was a time where I had to kind of pretend
Speaker 1: or perform, you know. I don't want to say for
Speaker 1: safety's purposes, but like to protect myself, and we kind
Speaker 1: of got to do that. It's kind of like code switching, right.
Speaker 1: But when I'm with the people that I feel I
Speaker 1: should feel safe around, or that I love and that
Speaker 1: I care about, like, I don't want to have to
Speaker 1: put on like I can be around you, and I
Speaker 1: can be around you know, other friends that I have
Speaker 1: and just not like I can be my whole self.
Speaker 1: I don't have to censor myself if I say something.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I'll say stuff and I'd be like, I
Speaker 1: shouldn't have said that, and you will say you shouldn't
Speaker 1: have said that, but I said it, and then we
Speaker 1: move on, Like you're not gonna judge me for saying
Speaker 1: that my best friend from high school she had it bad.
Speaker 1: She would call people's babies ugly, real baby, but the
Speaker 1: truth of the matter, No, oh no, me, you cannot
Speaker 1: call people but sometimes babies be ugly.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not I'm not signing up for that. I'm
Speaker 2: not saying.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's the truth.
Speaker 2: Well, you could just say that the baby, it looks different.
Speaker 2: It hasn't grown into the look yet.
Speaker 1: Okay. I mean, like, if I'm around you, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying the baby hasn't grown into the look yet. If
Speaker 1: I'm around you, I'm gonna say, oh.
Speaker 2: That baby ugly, and I'm gonna say, don't say.
Speaker 1: That, and I'm gonna say okay, and then we're gonna
Speaker 1: move on. We're gonna let yeah, like I'm but that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like there there's a level of comfort,
Speaker 1: But the comfort comes from not having to worry about
Speaker 1: being anybody else. Like whatever it is I say. And
Speaker 1: I know you guys don't quite know this, but I
Speaker 1: say some wild shit sometimes yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2: But you know what's so funny about our relationship why
Speaker 2: it works is that I am thinking it. But one
Speaker 2: of the core things, and I blame Carly's on my
Speaker 2: mom for this, is that everything you do, you're supposed
Speaker 2: to do in kindness. So even when you say something,
Speaker 2: you should try to be kind about it. So I
Speaker 2: am constantly thinking about how not to have that ratchet
Speaker 2: part come out immediately I have to be upset, like
Speaker 2: I have to be up and then it just comes
Speaker 2: out like a motorbike.
Speaker 1: But if I'm not a motorbike, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: But if I'm not, then I can censor it a
Speaker 2: little bit more because I do not want to appear unkind.
Speaker 1: So for you, it's about doing things in kindness. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I get that. I don't think, see I think,
Speaker 1: so this is might sound bad. I think for me,
Speaker 1: I have to be very conscious about that when it
Speaker 1: comes to the things that I say, because I have
Speaker 1: always been the person who, if I think it, I
Speaker 1: say it. Like in my twenties, it was really bad,
Speaker 1: like I had no I used to say some wild
Speaker 1: stuff in my twenties. The fact that I made it
Speaker 1: through my twenties without getting jumped or shot says a lot.
Speaker 1: But now I am cognizant of it, and I do
Speaker 1: stop and I pause and read the room first. But
Speaker 1: I don't think about doing it, doing things and being
Speaker 1: kind like that's not my first thought. When I'm in
Speaker 1: a space of comfort, like when I feel really safe
Speaker 1: and comfortable, I don't think about anything. It just comes out.
Speaker 1: I do think about like when I enter a room,
Speaker 1: I read the room and I see who's in the room,
Speaker 1: if I know that certain things are gonna offend or
Speaker 1: not gonna be kind to those so maybe I do
Speaker 1: not be kind to those people, then I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say mean or unkind things around those people about things
Speaker 1: that might trigger them or upset them. But if it's
Speaker 1: just me and you, or like me and my friend Lena,
Speaker 1: me and my friend Susie, I don't have that on
Speaker 1: it at all, Like I'm just gonna it's coming out,
Speaker 1: or me and Natalie because now he's bad, I don't.
Speaker 2: I think that when I think about spending time with you,
Speaker 2: whether we go on a trip, whether I come sit
Speaker 2: on your living room floor, it is about I am comfortable,
Speaker 2: I'm about to have a good time, and I think
Speaker 2: everything else is.
Speaker 1: We are good time girls.
Speaker 2: Yes, we have a good time, like we and the
Speaker 2: best time we have is when it's not playing.
Speaker 1: We have a good and there's no documentation. Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 2: Because we can't tell about it anyway. And so I
Speaker 2: think when I'm with you, I get a chance to
Speaker 2: just come down and just be myself. But I always
Speaker 2: think about kindness in the way that I communicate and
Speaker 2: interact because I know I'm very cold, so like because
Speaker 2: of who I am naturally as a person, and I
Speaker 2: know that if I am not consciously thinking about that,
Speaker 2: I will be very, very cold, and that is never mintent.
Speaker 2: But it's something that my mother has had me work
Speaker 2: on my whole life, and I think I am that
Speaker 2: person where once some day I'm all like, I go
Speaker 2: all the way in. So if I'm cold, i am stone.
Speaker 1: Don't really want to talk with me, leave me, Leave
Speaker 1: me the fuck alone.
Speaker 2: Just just get this temperature, room temperature.
Speaker 1: And I'm just gonna be luke warming. That is you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is you. And so it's interesting you said that
Speaker 1: because I and this is probably why it works. We're
Speaker 1: like Yin and yang. Like I'm naturally warm. Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: naturally very thoughtful. Yeah, not to say you're not thoughtful
Speaker 1: and loving, but you are not. Excuse me, you're not
Speaker 1: walking in the room saying I'm gonna be thoughtful on
Speaker 1: loving to everybody in this room. You have to think
Speaker 1: let me And that's how I am with my filter. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am walking in the room saying, before you start talking, Mimi,
Speaker 1: just look around and just case the joint and make
Speaker 1: sure that you don't say anything crazy. That people are
Speaker 1: gonna be like exactly, They're gonna be like, you crazy,
Speaker 1: what is this lady talking about? And even though it
Speaker 1: still happens, but I can filter it a little bit
Speaker 1: because even your husband says, Mimi just says anything. She
Speaker 1: just say anything on her mom. That girl crazy. My
Speaker 1: family has always said that to me ever since I
Speaker 1: was a kid, that girl is crazy. Because I'm in
Speaker 1: a space of comfort, I feel safe, so like my
Speaker 1: bras off, I'm relaxed, my shoes off, I can take
Speaker 1: my glass like, I don't have to process. And I
Speaker 1: love being in spaces like that because I can just
Speaker 1: be me. I don't like, I don't like to have
Speaker 1: to think about that, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know it's funny that you say that,
Speaker 2: because that has translated into my line of work, like
Speaker 2: I have to consciously always think about what I'm saying
Speaker 2: because typically what I say is not what I'm thinking. No,
Speaker 2: it's usually totally separate that I'm operating in moment.
Speaker 1: And the funny part is that people people really really
Speaker 1: believe that they know you as a human being. You don't,
Speaker 1: I'll say that people don't, But I think that that
Speaker 1: is amazing, not that I don't. Not that you're not
Speaker 1: being your authentic self, but I think that you have
Speaker 1: mastered understanding how to give people enough. That is something
Speaker 1: that I have been working on with my therapist for
Speaker 1: the past three years because I used to just give
Speaker 1: people everything in relationships, friendships, my familiar relationships take all
Speaker 1: of me. But I know now that that's a part
Speaker 1: of a self worth issue. If you take all of me,
Speaker 1: you gotta it's got to be something about me that
Speaker 1: you'll want to like and hold on to you. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't really give a fuck. You can take it,
Speaker 1: you can leave it because I like it. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it all. So that's a different I'm in
Speaker 1: a totally different space. But I appreciate that you know
Speaker 1: how and you have actually helped me to work on
Speaker 1: that because you know. And when I don't like people,
Speaker 1: it ain't a secret. It's loud. I don't say much,
Speaker 1: but it's loud that I I don't like you. I've
Speaker 1: mastered how to I could not like people and they
Speaker 1: sit right next to me and they'll never know.
Speaker 2: Because that's important.
Speaker 1: But what's the point, Yes, why do they need to know?
Speaker 1: They do? They don't need to have all that information.
Speaker 1: About now. Absolutely. I always say that I feel like
Speaker 1: our friendship is special. I feel like the friendships that
Speaker 1: I have, And you always say you got so many friends,
Speaker 1: You got a lot of friends, But I don't you
Speaker 1: call them off. I call them all friends. And I'm
Speaker 1: starting to be cognizant of that and working on calling
Speaker 1: people homegirls. And you know, I don't like the word
Speaker 1: acquaintance because it sounds like work. Yeah, I get it,
Speaker 1: I mean, but I don't know what to say. But
Speaker 1: it goes back.
Speaker 2: To like you and I just cut different because of
Speaker 2: the kind of work that I do, because of how
Speaker 2: I was raised. I'll say, quick, it's a lady at
Speaker 2: my job. That's so. And you might say, well, my
Speaker 2: friend at my job, and I'd be like, no, she's
Speaker 2: not my friend, she's And then you'll ask me, is
Speaker 2: she like your friends? And I know she's a lady
Speaker 2: at my job. I'm really nice to her, and I
Speaker 2: think that she is. She has great talents, but she's
Speaker 2: not friend. She's not coming to my house. And I'm
Speaker 2: very clear when someone asks me like, oh, do you
Speaker 2: think we could spend some time together?
Speaker 1: No? But would you like to go to lunch? No?
Speaker 1: You tell them. No, Yes, that's amazing that you do.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I'm still through that and I sell them
Speaker 2: in front of you. I'm sure you've heard many conversations
Speaker 2: with someone say well, we should do this together or whatever. No,
Speaker 2: you should probably figure that out and then send me
Speaker 2: an email you're so nice nasty. Well, I'll be serious
Speaker 2: because then I won't waste time.
Speaker 1: Because you don't like that.
Speaker 2: Biggest is like my biggest pet peep, And I know
Speaker 2: I got to get better at that, but I like it.
Speaker 1: I've learned from it because I've used to waste a
Speaker 1: lot of time and energy on other people and other
Speaker 1: people's thoughts and other people and for what, Where's the
Speaker 1: return on my investment? You know that's my favorite thing
Speaker 1: to say, where's the return on my investment? Where what
Speaker 1: am I getting back? I just think that I feel
Speaker 1: bad when I think about people who don't have any friends.
Speaker 1: There was this thing on the internet a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago where this lady was saying she feels touched deprived. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it made me really sad for her. She was a
Speaker 1: black woman too, and you saw it. She was crying
Speaker 1: and she was saying that she feels touched deprived and that,
Speaker 1: you know, she said something that was a little aggressive
Speaker 1: about how women with children who say that they're overstimulated,
Speaker 1: I hear that whatever it is, it's fine, it's real life.
Speaker 1: Real life is happening all around us. She said that
Speaker 1: she was touched deprived, and she didn't want to hear
Speaker 1: any commentary from women who have kids who said that
Speaker 1: they are overstimulated because they don't know her struggle. And
Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is that, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know what it's like to be touched deprived. I
Speaker 1: work around nine hundred and fifty people every Monday through Friday.
Speaker 1: But it made me really sad for her, and I
Speaker 1: feel sad for people who don't have connections, whether it's
Speaker 1: a friend, a family member, the Maleman who you got
Speaker 1: to have, a person or two or three or four.
Speaker 1: Have people that you can go to when you are
Speaker 1: feeling like you are at your lowest of low, and
Speaker 1: they will welcome you with open arms, and they're not
Speaker 1: gonna judge you, that's right. They're not gonna try to
Speaker 1: convince you that your low could have been changed if
Speaker 1: you would have just did this. Just come on in
Speaker 1: here and be low. I'm gonna get down here with
Speaker 1: you on a low. Would you like some tea or
Speaker 1: some ice cream?
Speaker 2: You know something that like what you're saying to me,
Speaker 2: that kind of like really sticks to my heart. That
Speaker 2: I love about you is that you. I've watched you
Speaker 2: grow into a place where you take what you need.
Speaker 2: And this world needs more women that do that. So
Speaker 2: this idea of being this idea of being touched deprived
Speaker 2: for you, that can't exist. No, because if you need it,
Speaker 2: you're gonna take it.
Speaker 1: Yes I will, And.
Speaker 2: So this idea, yes I will, taking like life into
Speaker 2: your own hands and being okay with like we don't
Speaker 2: have children, like we're doing.
Speaker 1: All right, listen, let me tell you something about Let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. We are the aunties that the
Speaker 1: mamas be jealous of. Can you watch my kid? Absolutely not,
Speaker 1: because I'm going to get on a plane or when
Speaker 1: will you be back? Yeah, take them. I will take
Speaker 1: the kid and I will take her to dance. I
Speaker 1: will take her. I have a god daughter, I have
Speaker 1: a few god children. Okay, let me say that it's
Speaker 1: probably best that if you want to be my godchild,
Speaker 1: that we be related because I'm gonna see you at functions.
Speaker 1: You know I'm gonna see you a rank. Okay, I
Speaker 1: will take the god child to the dance. I will
Speaker 1: pick her from cheer this summer. I'm gonna take her
Speaker 1: because she's been showing off a little bit. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take her this summer. We're gonna do some things. But
Speaker 1: when are you coming to get her? Can I drop
Speaker 1: her off with her when she was younger? And I mean,
Speaker 1: they understand what it is if I don't have children
Speaker 1: on my own. What makes people think I want to
Speaker 1: spend time with your people? They believe it.
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna tell you this. I think what happens
Speaker 2: when it comes to god kids and I can talk
Speaker 2: talk with you about this because we both don't have kids,
Speaker 2: is that I am a godmother because I'm supposed to
Speaker 2: step in when your parents can die.
Speaker 1: When your parents that was agg AGGI see what I mean.
Speaker 1: I told y'all. I told y'all I would say when
Speaker 1: they die, that's when you call me.
Speaker 2: No like when you need support. But if you if
Speaker 2: your parent is alive and well and floating all around
Speaker 2: and having a good time, don't call me unless it's
Speaker 2: for the for of recital or you want me to
Speaker 2: come to the ceremony, and I ain't gonna come to
Speaker 2: the ceremony. I could bring you a gift after the ceremony.
Speaker 2: You do not have to prioritize me. But I am
Speaker 2: very clear that I'm not your mom, nor am I
Speaker 2: trying to be your mind. Absolutely not.
Speaker 1: And call me when you need me, if you need me,
Speaker 1: if you can't pick them up, call me, yes, if
Speaker 1: you And that's not just about god children, that's about
Speaker 1: any child in my life when you need SI.
Speaker 2: Don't call me about any child in my life. See,
Speaker 2: And that's golded back to the wa children.
Speaker 1: Like in my family. Get clear, because I don't really
Speaker 1: have I don't really have a lot of friends with kids.
Speaker 1: One but two my friends with kids, they you know,
Speaker 1: if they called me to help them with their kids,
Speaker 1: they need help because they know. Don't call Auntie me
Speaker 1: me because I am not watching no west children.
Speaker 2: Well, first question they're gonna ask us, are you here?
Speaker 1: Yes? Well for you, yes, So let me tell you
Speaker 1: about my friend Crystal. She decided that in August she
Speaker 1: was gonna quit her job. She does relatively well for
Speaker 1: herself and her and her husband. She and her husband
Speaker 1: let me use proper creammer she and her husband decided
Speaker 1: that for nine months they were going to trapes around
Speaker 1: the globe. And not that they're new to traveling, they've
Speaker 1: been traveling. That is kind of one of she and
Speaker 1: I's like bonding things is that we goes. We traveled,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't a thing where like she had never
Speaker 1: been anywhere before we started traveling, or I had never
Speaker 1: been anywhere before. We've always liked traveling, even before we
Speaker 1: started traveling together. And another thing to I digress, And
Speaker 1: we'll get to this when we start talking about the trip,
Speaker 1: But you got to know who you're traveling with. We'll
Speaker 1: get back to that inside.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's go back to that, right.
Speaker 1: Okay, what was I talking about? This happened. I decided,
Speaker 1: Oh you, she decided to quit her job. She and
Speaker 1: her husband decided that they were going to trape so
Speaker 1: all around the globe and just travel for nine months.
Speaker 1: And she was just gone. It was just like that,
Speaker 1: she left me.
Speaker 2: I did not leave you, you did you? I talked
Speaker 2: to you, If not every day, at least five days
Speaker 2: out of the.
Speaker 1: Week, we probably talked six days at Okay, we talked
Speaker 1: almost every day. Okay, if it wasn't text, FaceTime, or
Speaker 1: a phone call. Mostly FaceTime and text. Because you were
Speaker 1: away and you were everywhere. Where'd you go?
Speaker 2: I went to Australia, I went to South Africa. I
Speaker 2: went to Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Vanzibar, Kenya, Kenya, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Nambia, Zambia.
Speaker 1: Namibia, Namibia, Namibia, Zambia. And let me just segue, okay,
Speaker 1: because I was supposed to say this in my first
Speaker 1: episode when I was shouting out all the countries that
Speaker 1: have supported me or have listened. I was supposed to
Speaker 1: give a big shout out to excuse me Namibia. And
Speaker 1: one of my friends reminded me, you did not shout
Speaker 1: out in Namibia because I was actually charting in the
Speaker 1: media for like three weeks to them. So go ahead.
Speaker 1: So you went to Namibia. Then you were in Europe.
Speaker 1: You went where.
Speaker 2: Buda past London.
Speaker 1: I went.
Speaker 2: I went to France, Sweden, Fain, Sweden, Finland.
Speaker 1: Uh, you went to Spain. Did you go to Portugal? No?
Speaker 2: Yes, I went to Portugal.
Speaker 1: You did. I don't really want to go to Portugal.
Speaker 1: I'm still a little bitter about the whole slave trade thing.
Speaker 1: But that's another That's.
Speaker 2: One another episode stuff, But nonetheless, we had a good time.
Speaker 1: It was good.
Speaker 2: I was able to kind of take a few steps back,
Speaker 2: and it's been good. Life has been good to me.
Speaker 1: You deserved it because you work really hard. I've watched
Speaker 1: you work really hard for like the past ten years.
Speaker 1: I mean, you got your doctorate. Uh, You've gotten promotions
Speaker 1: and elevated and elevated and elevated. You're one of the
Speaker 1: hard working, most hardworking, if not the hardest working person
Speaker 1: that I know. Thank you absolutely, and thank you for
Speaker 1: taking that as a compliment because oh I'm about to cry.
Speaker 2: No crying, okay, because we are having a party today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know me, I cried at it don't
Speaker 1: matter if it's a party, if it's a funeral, if
Speaker 1: it's a day party, a night party. We drinking, we laugh,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna cry because it's what I did. It's
Speaker 1: a part. But I am really proud of you, and people,
Speaker 1: I feel like friends don't say that to friends enough.
Speaker 1: I'm really proud of you, and it has been really
Speaker 1: inspirational to watch you just grind out. I was so glad.
Speaker 1: I was so sad when you left, but I was
Speaker 1: so happy when you left because I was happy just
Speaker 1: to see you walk away, even if it was just
Speaker 1: temporarily or for a time, just walk away from everything
Speaker 1: and everybody and focus on you and you and your
Speaker 1: husband just go and be together and have a good time.
Speaker 1: I was so fucking happy about that. Was so sad
Speaker 1: that you left, but I was so happy for you,
Speaker 1: and I'm glad. I'm glad you're back. Though.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm quite ok.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we digress. So about friendships. I think we've
Speaker 1: talked a lot about friendships. I think that what would
Speaker 1: you say to people? I want to do a series
Speaker 1: on how to build friendships, and I want to have
Speaker 1: you on again, and I want to have Natalie on again,
Speaker 1: because Nellie and I have been friends since we were twelve,
Speaker 1: Since I was twelve and she was well thirteen, we've
Speaker 1: been friends for thirty years, and you and I have
Speaker 1: been friends for twenty five years. I don't understand. And
Speaker 1: friendships go through ups and downs. And you know me,
Speaker 1: one thing that I will tell you about me, cross me,
Speaker 1: cross me, and I'm gonna walk away. But I don't
Speaker 1: walk away immediately. You got to, you got to. I
Speaker 1: gotta be putting up with some shit for a minute,
Speaker 1: and then I'm just gonna be like I got to
Speaker 1: detach and I don't care if you're my mother, my father,
Speaker 1: my sister, my brother, my uncle, my cousin, the Maleman
Speaker 1: who you are. Like, Once I decide that I don't
Speaker 1: want like I can't put up with or I can't
Speaker 1: deal with certain aspects of what you are sharing or
Speaker 1: what your energy is, I have to move back because
Speaker 1: it makes me feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Okay, right, and
Speaker 1: so I for people just a small portion. What do
Speaker 1: you think is the most important aspect of having a
Speaker 1: healthy friendship, a healthy, long lasting friendship because we don't
Speaker 1: even argue, But that don't mean we don't get on
Speaker 1: because you got on my nerves in Paris a little bit.
Speaker 1: Once what I do to you, I don't remember, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like it don't mat And you know
Speaker 1: I'm a grudge holding bitch. You know I hold on
Speaker 1: to a grudge. I do, I do. I am who
Speaker 1: I am. You know I'm not with flaw. I hold
Speaker 1: on this stuff. I don't even remember what you did.
Speaker 2: I think like.
Speaker 1: Just because I wasn't mad, I just think like being.
Speaker 2: Okay with the fact that it's I see long lasting
Speaker 2: relationships sort of like marriage, right, Like, I'm not planning
Speaker 2: to leave you, So you are going to get on
Speaker 2: my nerves. Yes, And I'm going to get on your
Speaker 2: nerves and that's okay because I'm not leaving you. And
Speaker 2: so like this thing, and we've talked about this before,
Speaker 2: like when something happens in a relationship that I care
Speaker 2: deeply about, I'm going to go back to addressing. I
Speaker 2: want you to know that I am upset about this
Speaker 2: has hurt my feelings. I will openly say that now,
Speaker 2: I be honest. I think that has something to do
Speaker 2: with how I was trained trying to be a social worker,
Speaker 2: like the traditional training of you speak up about how
Speaker 2: you feel. But I got to care enough to speak up,
Speaker 2: and so what ends up happening in my case over time,
Speaker 2: I don't have a lot of people in my life
Speaker 2: that I care enough about to tell them okay, so
Speaker 2: when you do, when I do, it is a big deal.
Speaker 2: I'm falling out. I might fall out for two weeks,
Speaker 2: three weeks.
Speaker 1: I will fall.
Speaker 2: Out because because I have I trust and have invested
Speaker 2: in that relationship.
Speaker 1: I get that.
Speaker 2: And so I think the number one thing to accept
Speaker 2: in your long term relationships. Is this is something that
Speaker 2: I'm intending to be with for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: I think the word that you said, intending is rooted
Speaker 1: in a word that I use all the time on
Speaker 1: this show, intention intention. And I think about because I've
Speaker 1: lost some friendships as an adult. I have walked away
Speaker 1: from some friendships or I've had some friendships walk away
Speaker 1: from me, and when they walked away, I did not
Speaker 1: follow up. And I think that some of that is
Speaker 1: rooted in my own trauma. I have quite a bit
Speaker 1: of abandonment trauma. When people walk away from me, I
Speaker 1: don't because it is way too It's a little too
Speaker 1: triggering for me. And I just feel like, if you
Speaker 1: can walk away from me, then we probably don't belong
Speaker 1: together no more. Because how you gonna I mean not
Speaker 1: the you know, but how you gonna walk away from me? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you walk away from this because this is prime time
Speaker 1: beef over here, baby. I got, this is good stuff.
Speaker 1: I got. I mean, I just do. I think that
Speaker 1: I'm a good friend. I think that I'm a good
Speaker 1: I'm probably not the best daughter, but I think that
Speaker 1: I'm a good daughter. I was an amazing granddaughter. I'm
Speaker 1: a great niece. You know, I'm a great colleague. Quite
Speaker 1: a few of my coworkers would not agree with that,
Speaker 1: but I don't really care because I don't like them anyway.
Speaker 1: But I think that I'm a I think I'm a
Speaker 1: good person and I do strive to be a good person.
Speaker 1: Am I a perfect person? Absolutely not. So I just
Speaker 1: feel like if somebody, if people want to leave, they
Speaker 1: should just leave. And I'm the same way with men
Speaker 1: and relationships, like if you want to go, go and
Speaker 1: I mourn it and I grieve it, and sometimes the
Speaker 1: grief is extensive, like I'm mourn it and I grieve it,
Speaker 1: and I grieve it and then like I'm changed because
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, I think for me, it's more about control
Speaker 2: in that way, like based on who I am as
Speaker 2: a person.
Speaker 1: So you and I have that like yours might be
Speaker 1: a little more intense though, so my intention is.
Speaker 2: To be with you forever. So I don't think that
Speaker 2: is starker ish. But what I what I will say
Speaker 2: it does for the other person is building security for them.
Speaker 1: So like you uild in security and security not build
Speaker 1: in security.
Speaker 2: No, it's built in seccurity. So because you know me,
Speaker 2: and the intention is that we're going to be friends
Speaker 2: until we're really really old walking through pairs together.
Speaker 1: All I keep saying, or die. I don't know, because I.
Speaker 2: Don't know why you're thinking about dying, because we got
Speaker 2: so much living today.
Speaker 1: Old people die, Yeah, but they live too, Yeah they do.
Speaker 1: You're right, Okay, you're right. I'm sorry, you're right. Go ahead.
Speaker 2: So that being said, I can have an argument with
Speaker 2: you as my friend or disagreement with you, and the
Speaker 2: thought is never that I'm going to leave you. That's
Speaker 2: really important in relationships. Yes, so you don't want to
Speaker 2: have a bad I can't imagine you having an argument
Speaker 2: with me that's going to lead to me never talking
Speaker 2: to you again.
Speaker 1: I agree, And so because of that, But I think
Speaker 1: that's because of maybe it's because of the way you
Speaker 1: are in the relationship with me, but also I just
Speaker 1: think because of our relationship. Like when you were like,
Speaker 1: what did I do in pairs? I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1: It was so dumb, yes, and it wasn't even a thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just like, oh my god. And if I
Speaker 1: could be really honest, it was probably me because I'm
Speaker 1: moody as hell.
Speaker 2: Wow, I think also we have to take into account
Speaker 2: that we are.
Speaker 1: Very be a woman of a certain ages and.
Speaker 2: We're talking about it and we're going to the doctors
Speaker 2: about it and so it's a thing, and so just
Speaker 2: kind of providing that grace. But I feel like with relationships,
Speaker 2: whether it is besties or whether it is husband and wife,
Speaker 2: for whether it's sisters, how my relationships work is that
Speaker 2: the people who I intend to be with forever, they
Speaker 2: know it, and I'm not giving up on them real easy.
Speaker 2: Even if you do something real crazy and you say
Speaker 2: some crazy stuff to you people and I'm right there
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, sorry about that, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: you cannot do that, but I stop loving you, and
Speaker 2: you never but it never crosses your mind that I'm
Speaker 2: gonna stop loving you.
Speaker 1: Does it go back to where we started From the
Speaker 1: very beginning of this conversation, we talked about being You
Speaker 1: said being very reflective, and I said, being very authentic. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think that at the root of who I am.
Speaker 1: You know who I am. So if I say to somebody,
Speaker 1: and I have I called somebody a fat, funky bitch before?
Speaker 2: Wow, was that kind?
Speaker 1: No? It was? So it was stop it was terrible,
Speaker 1: and I apologize and I apologize for you, and I said,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry about sorry. It was a gentleman I
Speaker 1: said that to him. Part of the reason I think
Speaker 1: I said it one, I was drunk, okay, but that
Speaker 1: person was very unkind to you, So yeah, I know
Speaker 1: it was so. But the same way you are about
Speaker 1: your control, I'm highly My loyalty is a on a
Speaker 1: psycho lens. Don't fuck with my people.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Oh you want to be rude, so my my best friend.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I'm gonna get you later. Don't worry about
Speaker 1: it because I'm gonna let the I'm gonna let this
Speaker 1: titos do to talking later. And I called him a fat,
Speaker 1: funky bitch. To be fair, he did smell bad. Guys, Okay,
Speaker 1: was that kind? No, you shouldn't have did I should
Speaker 1: not have said that. It was so mean. And I
Speaker 1: don't want you guys out here. I don't want my
Speaker 1: friends and can't thinking that I'm mean because I'm not.
Speaker 1: But you know when the roomies in the system ain't
Speaker 1: no telling no, no, don't use that no.
Speaker 2: No, no, you were gonna you wanted to tell him
Speaker 2: that forever, but you shouldn't. But we were not, so
Speaker 2: be fair, go back.
Speaker 1: Okay, we were at a bar. We were at a bar.
Speaker 2: We were not at like a work setting. He is
Speaker 2: not a friend.
Speaker 1: He is not a friend. He is not a friend.
Speaker 2: He is not a friend. And he was in close
Speaker 2: proximity for no reason. And so you know, sometimes.
Speaker 1: And he smelled. Not at that time though, but.
Speaker 2: Sometimes when you put yourself in places you know you
Speaker 2: shouldn't be, things happen, especially when you're around me. Period. No,
Speaker 2: it don't matter if it was you or somebody else.
Speaker 1: Don't go places you're not welcome. Ooh see and see.
Speaker 1: So let me just say this, Okay, really, let me
Speaker 1: just say this. People don't know you're the nasty one,
Speaker 1: you're the mean one. No, I'm just the one who
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it without warning. I'm not gonna think twice.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just say, get your fat, funky ass away
Speaker 1: from me. That was so fucking not kind. And you
Speaker 1: know what, I would like to take this time. He
Speaker 1: probably isn't listening to this, but if perchance he is,
Speaker 1: I want to apologize because that was wrong and I
Speaker 1: should not have said that to you. And oh man,
Speaker 1: I just shouldn't have said. It was kind of messed up.
Speaker 1: So I apologize to you, sir for saying, get your
Speaker 1: fat fun kiss away from me.
Speaker 2: Well, I apologize already.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when it happened, she apologized. She was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm so sorry. She was like, get your
Speaker 1: ass out of here. We gotta go, and she grabbed
Speaker 1: me by my hood and like dragged me out and
Speaker 1: we got out. Yeah, and we were safe. Yes, I
Speaker 1: felt safe even though you were. I was in a
Speaker 1: safe stage at that point. I just think that it
Speaker 1: goes back to just being authentic, like we were saying, like,
Speaker 1: I know that I can say. I feel like I
Speaker 1: could say almost anything around you. Yeah, and you would
Speaker 1: not hold it against me, against my life, against my
Speaker 1: I could say something to you about somebody that you
Speaker 1: care about, yes, because you know that I am not malicious.
Speaker 1: You know that. Like if I came here and I
Speaker 1: told you, oh, so and so I saw them, and
Speaker 1: I saw them and I think I saw him doing
Speaker 1: some drugs and I'm afraid that they about to be
Speaker 1: on drugs. You got to do something. You know. I'm
Speaker 1: not lying, No, you know I'm not making it up.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not that girl. Though, No, I'm not that girl.
Speaker 2: If you saw it, it happened, I don't need to
Speaker 2: ask them. I'm just going for them. If you saw it,
Speaker 2: it happened. She not about to call me, you know.
Speaker 2: To be fair, I don't have people in my circle
Speaker 2: that are close to me like you are that if
Speaker 2: they if my sister calls me, if you call me
Speaker 2: it happened, I'm not about to ask you where was.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to ask you where you were. I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna deal with you when I see you. It's
Speaker 2: no questions and all this that's too much. I don't
Speaker 2: even need to know. And I'm a girl who does
Speaker 2: not love the details. And we always talk about that.
Speaker 1: So I love details.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I may not ask you all of the details
Speaker 2: because I don't need to know them.
Speaker 1: It's so funny that you say that, because we also
Speaker 1: always talk about like if you see your friends man
Speaker 1: out with somebody, are you going to tell them? And
Speaker 1: I am not always the girl who will automatically tell
Speaker 1: depending on who the person is, and you are like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell depending on who the person is. Yes,
Speaker 1: because all women and all men or all people, some
Speaker 1: people you can't tell that stuff because you'll be jammed up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you will be jammed up. You fuck around and look
Speaker 1: up and they not speaking to you no more.
Speaker 2: And I'm good with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. See, I told you it was heir, and that's fine.
Speaker 1: If she doesn't talk to me again, I don't care.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm good with that. I think you know.
Speaker 2: For people that I care about, I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 2: you can do what you want with the information. But
Speaker 2: if you know me, well, you know, I don't have
Speaker 2: a lot of details. I might take a picture for you.
Speaker 2: I didn't go exe the girl what her name was.
Speaker 2: I did not ask him where he was supposed to be.
Speaker 2: I am going to make sure that he knows I
Speaker 2: I saw him. Yeah, because then I want him to
Speaker 2: be uncomfortable when he's around me again, because you're playing
Speaker 2: with my friends or you're playing with my sister who
Speaker 2: and so I have no problem with the person being mad,
Speaker 2: because if you're that man, you don't want to talk
Speaker 2: to me. You were never meant to be with men.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you like? I also like, what the fuck do
Speaker 1: I got to lie for? I don't want your man? Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean, some ladies you be thinking you want that man?
Speaker 1: Now I got my own man. Yeah, I don't hear
Speaker 1: a lot the man. I don't. I got a couple
Speaker 1: of men's that I'll be playing around with as one
Speaker 1: of them might be somebody else's man. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I understand that's none of my business.
Speaker 2: That's not your best.
Speaker 1: But like I don't, I don't be out here scouting
Speaker 1: for other people's men because sometimes they like, it's not
Speaker 1: even worth it.
Speaker 2: Well, I was gonna say, be very careful for what
Speaker 2: you scout out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because sometimes it's not even worth the time.
Speaker 2: And the husband and a wife because I'm a wife,
Speaker 2: might say, go ahead and take him, thank you please?
Speaker 1: Can you take him on Thursday, Saturdays and Mondays please,
Speaker 1: so that I can have some time to watch myself.
Speaker 1: I would like to watch my television programs and to
Speaker 1: eat some ice cream alone, because he wants to eat
Speaker 1: all of my ice cream. So we went on trip.
Speaker 1: We have been on many trips together. Where have we
Speaker 1: gone together? We've been on cruises.
Speaker 2: So what about the coronication that we went on that
Speaker 2: was amazing?
Speaker 1: You've been on my family reunion cruises? Yes, at the top.
Speaker 1: This is just to go to show how crazy we are.
Speaker 1: I launched this podcast on March the first of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: All right, right on, I want to say it was
Speaker 1: March the thirteenth is when they sent us home early.
Speaker 1: It was a Friday. I think it was the thirteenth.
Speaker 1: They said, don't come back to work. We don't know
Speaker 1: when we're coming back because this is a problem. This
Speaker 1: is March the thirteenth on a Friday. This fool calls
Speaker 1: me on Saturday morning and says, do you want to
Speaker 1: go to the Bahamas? And I'm like, wait, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? And historically I've gotten so much better, But
Speaker 1: historically I am scared of everything, and I just kind
Speaker 1: of I used to I used to kind of just
Speaker 1: move from a place of fear, like fear and anxiety
Speaker 1: and just being afraid of uncontrolled outcomes. Right, I'm not
Speaker 1: really like that as much anything gotten better I have.
Speaker 1: She calls me and I'm like, wait what now? At
Speaker 1: this point, I'm just one month in the therapy with
Speaker 1: my phenomenal therapist, so I'm like, what do you mean.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, it's a federal mandate.
Speaker 1: We can't go anywhere because it's they're saying that it's
Speaker 1: an epidemic or a pandemic. We can't go. You were like,
Speaker 1: do you want to go or not? I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: let's go. Let's it doesn't It doesn't take a lot
Speaker 1: to convince me. Our crazy asses left the United States
Speaker 1: on the seventeenth of March. Now they had already said
Speaker 1: stay in the house. People were running around buying toilet paper, milk, butter, eggs, bread.
Speaker 1: We are going on a trip to an all inclusive
Speaker 1: resort in the Bahamas. Your sister shout out to my guy, Ashley,
Speaker 1: Your sister made us T shirt and I still have
Speaker 1: mine that said coronication and they had black sparkles, they
Speaker 1: were neon yellow. They were amazing and we wore them
Speaker 1: and we went to this all inclusive and nobody was
Speaker 1: there and it was amazing. And that was on the
Speaker 1: seventeenth and we came back on that Saturday and we
Speaker 1: almost got stuck in the Bahamas. We were on the
Speaker 1: last flight out before they closed the airport. Day. First
Speaker 1: of all, let's just talk about God's favor over our friendship. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
Speaker 1: because God covers us every time, every time, because we
Speaker 1: and you know what, it's always some ship going on
Speaker 1: when it's us. But it was good.
Speaker 2: It was amazing because think about all of the people
Speaker 2: who were runing around getting toilet paper.
Speaker 1: We had our feet up, my feet up, and there
Speaker 1: was toilet paper in the bathroom, in the room.
Speaker 2: Drinks.
Speaker 1: Yes, we had a drink called the Marijuana or something. Yes,
Speaker 1: and it was called the Marijuana. It was amazing, It
Speaker 1: was amazing. It had no marijuana in it. No. No,
Speaker 1: we had a very good time. There was a tour
Speaker 1: there from like Canada or something, all those young kids,
Speaker 1: some kind of business. We had a very, very very
Speaker 1: good time. But we always do so. We have been
Speaker 1: to all throughout the Caribbean, Mexico multiple times. We went
Speaker 1: to Puerto Vallada. We went through hell to get there.
Speaker 1: We got there. We had an amazing time. You were
Speaker 1: doing your water yogas. We went to all those fake
Speaker 1: not fake those you know how you got to go
Speaker 1: to those meetings for time shapes. Yes, and we got
Speaker 1: all these free massages and it was amazing. I gat
Speaker 1: ten pounds on that trip. It was rough. It was rough,
Speaker 1: but we recently I always talked about how much I
Speaker 1: love pairs. I love pairs, and you always say parents.
Speaker 1: It's like it does Yeah, it does smell that. So
Speaker 1: but it's okay. I love it. So we went to
Speaker 1: Paris to see Beyonce. I am not in the beehive.
Speaker 1: You are not either.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like I got close to the beehive this
Speaker 1: last time. You got stuck. I might got it. I
Speaker 1: might got a little honey coming from the end. I don't.
Speaker 1: And you got something to me in a minute. Let
Speaker 1: me tell my own I was about to say, let
Speaker 1: me tell my own story telling. So, but you have
Speaker 1: seen Beyonce multiple times in concert, yes, and so I've
Speaker 1: always been the person like if things are super like bandwagony,
Speaker 1: it's like I don't want to be a part of it.
Speaker 1: I am not of the ilk of people who are
Speaker 1: anti Beyonce. I think Beyonce is a phenomenal entertainer. I
Speaker 1: think she can sing her ass off. She's beautiful. I
Speaker 1: definitely think that she had some work done to her body.
Speaker 1: But that's fine, because if I was a multi millionaire
Speaker 1: and I could get the best care, I would go
Speaker 1: get a handcrafted body as well. I'm not against that.
Speaker 1: What I am against, though, is ladies who go and
Speaker 1: get these bodies surgeries and stuff, and it looks bad.
Speaker 2: You should have just kept Beyonce.
Speaker 1: Back to Beyonce. Sorry, but they got to stop with
Speaker 1: these surgeries is getting out of control. But anyway, back
Speaker 1: to Beyonce. So I'm not excuse me, sorry somebody who
Speaker 1: is anti Beyonce. I've always liked her, even though my
Speaker 1: college boyfriend he really liked her, but he loved light
Speaker 1: skinned girls with long hair. He had a thing for
Speaker 1: those kinds. He didn't really end up with one, though.
Speaker 2: Oh well sometimes I had yeah, but he didn't end
Speaker 2: up with me.
Speaker 1: Thank the Lord for that.
Speaker 2: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Speaker 1: The Lord is good. God is good to me. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so we did we we say, when we find out
Speaker 1: she's having a show, We're like, oh, do you want
Speaker 1: to go? We should go? We should go? We we should?
Speaker 1: We should? We should? We should? We should go. And
Speaker 1: I'm thinking to myself, I've never seen Beyonce, but if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. I wanted to be
Speaker 1: an experience. I don't just want to go see her
Speaker 1: in Landover or go see her at the ball Tomorro Arena,
Speaker 1: or go see her in like Philadelphia. I wanted you
Speaker 1: be an experience, right, and so I was like, we
Speaker 1: should go away and go see her, and you were like, yes,
Speaker 1: we shouldn't. So then you go into your mode, Capricorn mode.
Speaker 1: You start looking, Oh, we're gonna go here, We're gonna
Speaker 1: go here, Da da, And I'm just thinking. We were
Speaker 1: talking to my little cousin, Lindsay. Shout out to Lindsay, Linda.
Speaker 1: She's my fath she's my boo. And so she's like,
Speaker 1: do you guys really want to go because you really
Speaker 1: need to get on it. And I was like yeah.
Speaker 1: And you always plan trips like I don't really like
Speaker 1: group trips, but I go on group trips with your
Speaker 1: friends and your families like twenty of Us. I have
Speaker 1: a great time every single time. And you always plan
Speaker 1: everything because you travel a whole lot, so you're used
Speaker 1: to planning stuff. So I'm like, she gonna take care
Speaker 1: of it. I'm not gonna worry about it. I don't
Speaker 1: know where you went. You were at some conference you
Speaker 1: were presenting, and you were like, oh, here's the Beyonce stuff.
Speaker 1: Da da, And I was like, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna wait on her because she's gonna mess around
Speaker 1: and we ain't gonna be able to go.
Speaker 2: I had over bought the plane tickets.
Speaker 1: No, no, I bought the ticket tickets first, and then
Speaker 1: as soon as I got the ticket tickets, you sent
Speaker 1: me this thing. And I was looking, and I was
Speaker 1: you were like, well they got some tickets for one
Speaker 1: hundred and thirty five dollars, and so I saw. I
Speaker 1: started looking and I was like, we ain't gonna be
Speaker 1: able to see nothing. You were you couldn't for some reason.
Speaker 1: You always answer all my text messages. You respond to me,
Speaker 1: but you did not respond. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: can't wait for her, like I got a yeah, you
Speaker 1: were presenting you were, and I was like, I can't wait.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well should we do she shit?
Speaker 1: And I said, you know what, let me just do
Speaker 1: it because she's always doing everything and everybody's always looking
Speaker 1: to her to do it and expecting her to do
Speaker 1: the planning and expecting her to buy the thing, and
Speaker 1: expecting her I'm gonna do at this time because that's
Speaker 1: something that you know, you don't have to worry about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And in my mind, I was just like, let me
Speaker 1: do something kind and take something off of her plate
Speaker 1: that she don't even have to worry about. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: just pull up in the plug. This is me trying
Speaker 1: to live in this new don't be afraid, just do it.
Speaker 1: Thing right?
Speaker 2: You got this?
Speaker 1: Yes, well I did, and I got them tickets and
Speaker 1: I text you back and I was like, we're going
Speaker 1: to see Beyonce and Paris. Here are the tickets. We
Speaker 1: need to get airplane tickets in a hotel. And you
Speaker 1: were like what And I was like, yeah, we going here,
Speaker 1: go to tickets. You said, oh my god, they're so expensive.
Speaker 1: I thought they were going to be one hundred and
Speaker 1: thirty five dollars. I said, well they not, so let's go.
Speaker 1: And within three hours we had plane tickets and we
Speaker 1: went to see Beyonce on May the twenty six in Paris,
Speaker 1: and we went, let's start with the airline. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about that. Oh my God, Jesus to the Lord of Christ.
Speaker 1: So listen, friends, I don't, I don't. I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk bad about nothing, okay, because that's not our booth.
Speaker 1: I fly Spirit Airlines. I don't have a problem with
Speaker 1: Spirit Airlines at all. But Play Airlines is like the
Speaker 1: Spirit of Europe.
Speaker 2: It's just so bad.
Speaker 1: It's bad. And here's why it's bad. It's not bad
Speaker 1: because it's bad. It's bad because there are rules around
Speaker 1: flying on Spirit airlines. For me, I'm not flying more
Speaker 1: than three and a half hours on a Spirit flight
Speaker 1: unless you said you don't mind an overnight red eye
Speaker 1: from like Laye because you sleep.
Speaker 2: I'm sleep the whole time.
Speaker 1: I get that, so I don't think I would mind that.
Speaker 1: But in the daytime, I'm not flying more than three
Speaker 1: to three and a half hours on Spirit. I'm just not.
Speaker 1: They be switching your flights. They do this. It sounds
Speaker 1: like a lawnmower. Sometimes sometimes Southwest.
Speaker 2: Does the same thing.
Speaker 1: They have delayed American. I think that people just come
Speaker 1: for Spirit because it's a budget airline, that's what it's called.
Speaker 2: I think also because it's easy and I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: on switching. I think people come. I think people come
Speaker 2: for Spirit as well who don't travel a lot, Like
Speaker 2: so you go away once a year, you should be
Speaker 2: flying Delta like you should be premier class. Yes, you
Speaker 2: should be saying.
Speaker 1: Ultimately be a premium business class so you could get
Speaker 1: all the things because you only go one a year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But if you're going four or five six times a year. Listen,
Speaker 1: I got to spread this out.
Speaker 2: There are months where you have traveled three times and
Speaker 2: three or four times in a month. So let's say
Speaker 2: you did that for twelve months. We're talking about sixty
Speaker 2: forty eight to sixty flights. That's much different than I'm
Speaker 2: going one place for the whole year. You should save
Speaker 2: up your coins, you should. You should fly premium, premium,
Speaker 2: you should.
Speaker 1: You should have your emirates.
Speaker 2: Let's check this out. You should go ahead and get
Speaker 2: your own jet. That's right. Are yourself so like people
Speaker 2: who do that? And also like people this is a
Speaker 2: very American concept. They like this idea of being an
Speaker 2: elitist and so and so if they make my stomach, well,
Speaker 2: you know it's not so if you I can't fly
Speaker 2: spirit because I can't. But guess what, I didn't watch
Speaker 2: people who on this Instagram talking all contentration. I said,
Speaker 2: oh baby, she getting on spirit with us, Lady with
Speaker 2: this red.
Speaker 1: Bottoms in this Hey girl, you know what, it's funny
Speaker 1: you said that because I gotta tell this story, and
Speaker 1: I got a segue. Can you please tell us what
Speaker 1: happened myself and my friend Candace. She's been on this
Speaker 1: show multiple times. Hilarious, hilarious. She's one of my funniest friends,
Speaker 1: but hands down my funniest friend is Susie. Susie is is.
Speaker 1: She makes me laugh to the point where the laugh
Speaker 1: doesn't even come out. But anyway, Candis are at this bar.
Speaker 1: This is a huge segue, but it's about being elitist
Speaker 1: or being like so to do, but you're not. Okay,
Speaker 1: We're at the bar. A couple comes in. They are white,
Speaker 1: maybe Jewish because you know of the area I was in,
Speaker 1: but well to do. She had a Chanel bag. She
Speaker 1: had a cute little sheath pink dress on. She had
Speaker 1: blonde hair, it was curled perfectly. He looked nice, like
Speaker 1: he was coming from his job. He had on loafers
Speaker 1: with no socks, a nice polo, some khakis and they
Speaker 1: sat at the bar. When she sat at the bar,
Speaker 1: I saw the bottom because I am a details girl.
Speaker 1: I looked at them. She had on red bottoms and
Speaker 1: lu batons and I was like, okay, sis is in here.
Speaker 1: She got the Chanelle bag, the lubatons, herner bou at
Speaker 1: the bar. Okay, honey, she had on slang backs. Them
Speaker 1: feet looked like she had been walking twelve years a
Speaker 1: slave with no shoes on. They were gray the huss
Speaker 1: as my grandmother used to call it, the huss And
Speaker 1: for you guys who don't have old black grandmother's huss
Speaker 1: on your feet is just calloused skin. Okay, white, yes,
Speaker 1: crust crust white. But this lady's was crusted and white,
Speaker 1: but with a grayish black film over it. That ain't
Speaker 1: the kind of dirty feet that you get because you
Speaker 1: just was walking around with no shoes on for a day.
Speaker 1: Twelve years of slave. She was walking around with no
Speaker 1: shoes on. It was aggressive. It was aggressive, and that's
Speaker 1: all I wanted to say. I just wanted to share them.
Speaker 2: She had the spirit of long suffering.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the fool. She had the spirit of long suffering
Speaker 1: on her feet. Yeah it was bad. Yeah, back to
Speaker 1: Paris and be okay, play airlines us go. I don't
Speaker 1: want to do it, and.
Speaker 2: We never doing it. Yeah, I don't care where we
Speaker 2: were not going.
Speaker 1: We could we could do play if you go from
Speaker 1: like Paris to London, that's we could do.
Speaker 2: No, we're just.
Speaker 1: Gonna catch the train. You just don't want to do play.
Speaker 2: Ever, I don't want to do that. I didn't like
Speaker 2: it very much. It wasn't good nice outfits. Though you
Speaker 2: like their outfits. You kept saying, I said, I don't like.
Speaker 2: I kept telling them, I said, oh my god, I
Speaker 2: love your outfit. No, and they don't have good snacks
Speaker 2: to buy. So that's because it's based out of No. No,
Speaker 2: they still didn't have a variety. They didn't, And so
Speaker 2: we gotta be fair because you and I do not
Speaker 2: mind spending a couple of coins, but what we want,
Speaker 2: we spend money like we sell dope. We do it.
Speaker 1: Shout out, shut out, shout out to uh Brianna of
Speaker 1: stupid stink. These hoodies to wear in Paris that literally
Speaker 1: say spending money like I sall dope dope and we
Speaker 1: never put them on, and we owe you a nice
Speaker 1: best friend picture with those hoodies on. And we don't
Speaker 1: make it happen, and we're gonna make it happen. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make a happy We are.
Speaker 2: Grateful, absolutely, thank you, Thank you, brill.
Speaker 1: So friends and Ken for today. Straight backs question. It
Speaker 1: is coming from Mobile, Alabama, and it goes and I'll
Speaker 1: just get straight into it. I'll start this off by
Speaker 1: saying I'm a private person who likes to separate my
Speaker 1: personal life and my professional life. One of my coworkers
Speaker 1: sent me a friend request on Facebook a few months ago. Chill.
Speaker 1: I hate when they do that. I politely rejected the
Speaker 1: request and went on about my day. About a day later,
Speaker 1: I see another request from this same colleague stalker mache.
Speaker 1: Later in the week, I was eating lunch with my
Speaker 1: work friends when the colleague who sent me the friend
Speaker 1: request came in and brought up the fact that she
Speaker 1: thought we were cool, but she noticed I kept rejecting
Speaker 1: her friend requests on Facebook. I smiled uncomfortably and quickly
Speaker 1: excused myself from the table. What should I or what
Speaker 1: should my reply be when I see her again? Mariah?
Speaker 1: It's real simple, Mariah. You don't owe anybody anything. You
Speaker 1: don't owe her an explanation. She is not your god,
Speaker 1: she is not your boss, she is not your leader.
Speaker 1: If you don't want to be her friend on Facebook,
Speaker 1: and you ain't got to be her friend on Facebook.
Speaker 1: Do you know how many coworkers I have sitting in
Speaker 1: Facebook friend requests? Limbo, You don't have to accept anybody.
Speaker 1: They don't have to be your freaking friends. You don't
Speaker 1: owe them anything, Yo, if you want to not be uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: you can clearly say I just don't like to mix
Speaker 1: my personal life and my professional life and keep it moving.
Speaker 1: And if she asked you any questions like if some
Speaker 1: of your coworkers are your friends on Facebook and some
Speaker 1: are not, you can just say, you know, I'm very
Speaker 1: selective of who I allow into my social media life,
Speaker 1: and you can say that should not affect how we
Speaker 1: interact with each other at work, and that should be it, Like,
Speaker 1: you don't owe her any goddamn explanations. Like and just
Speaker 1: a tip going forward, if you don't want to be
Speaker 1: friends with people on social media, just don't acknowledge the request.
Speaker 1: Don't hit delete because then they know that you didn't
Speaker 1: accept it. Just leave it and go on. I think
Speaker 1: I have like three or four hundred people and friend
Speaker 1: request jail on Facebook. Just don't accept it and don't
Speaker 1: delete it. Just leave it right there, Rack them up,
Speaker 1: rack city, rec city each But that's what I would
Speaker 1: just say. You don't owe her any explanation, and she
Speaker 1: better not get get healthy about it, and if so,
Speaker 1: let her be where she is. I hate a crazy
Speaker 1: coworker like be easy, sister Bay so friends in him
Speaker 1: for Today's We Got to Do Better segment. I got
Speaker 1: our quote from an auntie who is now an ancestor
Speaker 1: that I had actually never heard of, and so when
Speaker 1: I saw the quote, I really liked the quote, but
Speaker 1: I realized, like, I don't know this lady, so of
Speaker 1: course I had to go look her up. Her name
Speaker 1: is Marva Delores Collins and she was an American educator.
Speaker 1: She is best known for creating Westside Preparatory School, which
Speaker 1: is a widely acclaimed private elementary school in the impoverished
Speaker 1: Garfield Park neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois, which opened in nineteen
Speaker 1: seventy five. So I'm thinking that she graduated from Clark
Speaker 1: Atlanta University, and I'm thinking she had to be a
Speaker 1: badass to start a private school, a private elementary school,
Speaker 1: and an impoverished I had a hard time getting that
Speaker 1: out in an impoverished neighborhood, and as an educator myself,
Speaker 1: It's funny. I went to this conference about a month
Speaker 1: or two ago and they were talking about schools and
Speaker 1: urban settings, and I work in West Baltimore, in the
Speaker 1: heart of West Baltimore, in the middle of a drug
Speaker 1: and war gang war zone, right, But when you are
Speaker 1: at these educator conferences and they are speaking about urban
Speaker 1: school settings and urban neighborhoods, they're leaving out such a
Speaker 1: large demographic of students, a large demographic of children, many
Speaker 1: many communities they're leaving out. When they say urban, they're
Speaker 1: talking about like Manhattan. They're talking about nice neighborhoods in
Speaker 1: Boston that are really really close to metropolitan areas. They're
Speaker 1: not talking about impoverished communities. They're not talking about communities
Speaker 1: where the people are most of the people are living
Speaker 1: below the poverty line. They're not talking about neighborhoods with
Speaker 1: extremely high crime rates, food deserts. You know, it's a
Speaker 1: whole different conversation, and oftentimes our children are left out
Speaker 1: of the conversation. So I know, this woman had to
Speaker 1: be a bad ass to start a private school in
Speaker 1: an impoverished neighborhood. So I'm going to actually, because of this,
Speaker 1: I'm going to read up more about Marva Collins, Auntie Marva.
Speaker 1: But she said, and I quote, trust yourself, think for yourself,
Speaker 1: act for yourself, speak for yourself yourself, because imitation is suicide. Listen,
Speaker 1: that was pretty heavy. Shout out to Auntie Marvel I'm
Speaker 1: a reader to you one more time, just in case
Speaker 1: you ain't pick up what I was putting down. Trust yourself,
Speaker 1: think for yourself, act for yourself, speak for yourself, Be yourself,
Speaker 1: because imitation is suicide. All the time. I talk about
Speaker 1: how being yourself is vital because it costs too much
Speaker 1: money to wake up in the morning. And when I
Speaker 1: say money, I'm talking about time and energy. Money. Okay,
Speaker 1: brain matter, heart matter, gut matter. It takes up too
Speaker 1: much of that to try and be somebody else, or
Speaker 1: to try and be somebody that you create in your head.
Speaker 1: Just be you. It's so much cheaper, it's so much easier.
Speaker 1: You don't have to make maintain a lie. You don't
Speaker 1: have to maintain a false narrative, you don't have to pretend.
Speaker 1: Pretending is a burden. Just be you, and whoever likes
Speaker 1: you stays, whoever doesn't, they'll fucking leave. But either way
Speaker 1: it's fine because you wake up and you can look
Speaker 1: in the mirror and say, you know, I like that person.
Speaker 1: And if you don't like that person, please look in
Speaker 1: the show notes and click on the link in the
Speaker 1: show notes that says find a therapist. Put in your
Speaker 1: zip code and psychology today is not paying me. They're
Speaker 1: not paying for any ads. But I want people to
Speaker 1: get help psychology today. If you want to pay for
Speaker 1: some ads space, feel free to do so. Put in
Speaker 1: your zip code or the zip code of your job
Speaker 1: or whatever is close to where you want to go
Speaker 1: and where you want to go for therapy, and go
Speaker 1: to therapy. It's so awesome. Learn how to like yourself,
Speaker 1: learn how to love yourself. It's so important so that
Speaker 1: you live a peaceful life, a joyful life. It's too
Speaker 1: many of y'all walking around here, man, that just hate
Speaker 1: yourself and pretending getting up every day, pretending that you
Speaker 1: love yourself. You don't. And you think that you're fooling people,
Speaker 1: But in some people you may be fooling it. You
Speaker 1: ain't fooling me. It's a handful of us that you
Speaker 1: ain't getting over on. And not that that should matter,
Speaker 1: because that shouldn't matter. What really should matter is that
Speaker 1: you want to be in a place where you care
Speaker 1: about who you are, where you love who you are authentically,
Speaker 1: where you like who you are. It's one thing to
Speaker 1: love somebody, it's nothing to like them. Because if you
Speaker 1: don't like you, who in the hell else is gonna
Speaker 1: like you. If you don't want to be with you,
Speaker 1: be around yourself when nobody's around. Who else is gonna
Speaker 1: want to be around you? Nobody. You can get an
Speaker 1: animal or a pet, or a goldfish or some plants,
Speaker 1: but you know they can't really pick up for themselves,
Speaker 1: and that's kind of sad. Nobody is born to be alone.
Speaker 1: And take it from somebody who loves to spend time
Speaker 1: by themselves. I also enjoy spending time with the people
Speaker 1: that I care about, but because I love being by
Speaker 1: myself and being alone, like, I know how to walk
Speaker 1: away from being around other people when I need that time.
Speaker 1: Just take care of yourself. Man, listen. I need y'all
Speaker 1: to do better. I'm gonna keep doing better because I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not perfect. This is hard work that I do
Speaker 1: on myself every fricking day, every day, and for three
Speaker 1: years it was really intense, really intense. Just want I
Speaker 1: just want us to get to a place where we
Speaker 1: authentically love who we are contrary to what has been
Speaker 1: placed upon us that is outside the realm of our control.
Speaker 1: I just want us to do better. I love y'all.
Speaker 1: If you don't believe it, trust me.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 1: I love you, but that don't really mean nothing. If
Speaker 1: you don't love you, just go gsn't therapy friends Again.
Speaker 1: The first thing that I want to do is say
Speaker 1: thank you to God first and foremost, because God is
Speaker 1: supreme and I recognize and appreciate the grace that God
Speaker 1: extends me every single day of my black ass life.
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you to my people. I
Speaker 1: want to say thank you to each and every one
Speaker 1: of you that's been rocking with me since day one,
Speaker 1: ever since March the first of twenty twenty. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, and thank you again. I truly
Speaker 1: appreciate you for being here. And even if you just
Speaker 1: started listening today, or if you just started listening on
Speaker 1: June the sixth, or June the thirteenth, or June the twentieth,
Speaker 1: I thank you for that as well. I'm grateful either way.
Speaker 1: I am thankful for you being here. I'm thankful for
Speaker 1: your ears, for your listening ears. Thank but for my family,
Speaker 1: my friends, my friends, and ken all my supporters, of
Speaker 1: all of my supporters, and of course and most importantly,
Speaker 1: every single one of you guys that are out there listening.
Speaker 1: I love y'all so much, and it is nothing short
Speaker 1: of an honor for me to share my time and
Speaker 1: my energy with you. I understand it's an honor for
Speaker 1: me to be able to share my time and energy
Speaker 1: with you, especially if you keep coming back to spend
Speaker 1: time with me over and over again. And I look
Speaker 1: forward to the next time that we get to do
Speaker 1: this with one another. Now, before you exit out of
Speaker 1: whatever streaming service you're using to listen to this, stop
Speaker 1: for a second. Whatever you're doing, stop right now, and
Speaker 1: if you haven't already done so, look for a subscribe
Speaker 1: button or follow button or whatever kind of button that
Speaker 1: says that you are committed to me. I want you
Speaker 1: to commit to hand me my Purse. I want you
Speaker 1: to get married to hand me my Purse. Okay, not really,
Speaker 1: not really, not really at all. That's why I just
Speaker 1: stop click on it. But I want you to commit.
Speaker 1: I want you to get in there and commit, get
Speaker 1: down and get dirty, and commit. Click on that subscriber
Speaker 1: follow button whatever it's called, if that's an option on
Speaker 1: the streaming service where you're listening. Next, I want you
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Speaker 1: very very very very engaged on Instagram, but I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get better on Facebook and Twitter. But if you
Speaker 1: start talking to me on there, I'm definitely going to
Speaker 1: talk back to you. So that's how that goes. If
Speaker 1: you show up, I'm going to show up. Also, if
Speaker 1: you're listening on a streaming service or medium that allows
Speaker 1: you to do so, please rate or review the show,
Speaker 1: give it a thumbs up if you can friends and
Speaker 1: can be sure to share Hand Me my Purse with
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Speaker 1: don't like, because the best way for other people to
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Speaker 1: Fact Segment two Hello at hanmimipurse dot com with the
Speaker 1: subject line straight Facts, or feel free to send me
Speaker 1: a DM on Instagram or Twitter, and who knows, your
Speaker 1: question may be featured on an upcoming show. Now, I
Speaker 1: said that, And I also said that I wanted you
Speaker 1: guys to send me information about your aunts. And someone
Speaker 1: sent me something that was so beautiful on Instagram about
Speaker 1: their aunt and it was someone that I went to
Speaker 1: high school with. It was a friend from high school.
Speaker 1: And she said, and I quote, and this is from Carla.
Speaker 1: It says, I'm listening to your catalog because Sis has
Speaker 1: a catalog episode fifty one. Thinking about my auntie Regina,
Speaker 1: she was a pure soul. She was a one person
Speaker 1: that always has something kind to say, and she was
Speaker 1: kind of naive to the world in a sense because
Speaker 1: she thought everyone was good like her and believed that
Speaker 1: God would fix and save all. Even though my family
Speaker 1: is from Compton, Compton's in the house, even though my
Speaker 1: family is from Compton. She didn't have a hood bone
Speaker 1: in her body. Laugh out loud. She rarely gossiped, but
Speaker 1: when she did have tea, it was always a big
Speaker 1: to do and she only said it in person, whispered it,
Speaker 1: and would always conclude the tea with you didn't hear
Speaker 1: that from me. It reminds me of Anita Patirell from
Speaker 1: in Living Color. I didn't want a gossip but you
Speaker 1: ain't hear that from me? Ah, what does she say?
Speaker 1: Here we go? She would always conclude the tea with
Speaker 1: you didn't hear that from me yet the tea would
Speaker 1: be lukewarm, which always made me laugh, which always made
Speaker 1: me laugh. She recently passed away from cancer. I'm really
Speaker 1: sorry to hear that, Carla, and you and your family
Speaker 1: are in my prayers. It's crazy how God takes the
Speaker 1: good ones. Just wanted to share I'm very proud of
Speaker 1: your podcast success and I'm so happy for you, Carla.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. That warmed my heart. And again,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to hear about your auntie passing away. But
Speaker 1: you know she's an ancestor now. And you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but you know
Speaker 1: when our ancestors, when our family members transition and they
Speaker 1: become ancestors in my mind like they're still with us,
Speaker 1: they're still here. I still talk to mine all the time,
Speaker 1: and I feel them around me, like watching over me,
Speaker 1: protecting me. So your aunt re Gina is still here,
Speaker 1: and sometimes talk to her and give her some tea.
Speaker 1: You never know now if she talked back, you know,
Speaker 1: don't be too afraid, but my one jump a little bit.
Speaker 1: But if you guys have any beautiful stories about your
Speaker 1: aunts or your aunties that you want to share with me,
Speaker 1: please send me a DM on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. I
Speaker 1: don't really know how to do messages on Facebook from
Speaker 1: a page, but send me a message, or you can
Speaker 1: send me an email. And you can send those stories
Speaker 1: and questions for the straight Fact segment to Hello at
Speaker 1: handymipurse dot com with the subject line straight Facts, or
Speaker 1: you could say Auntie's story, or feel free to just
Speaker 1: send me a damn on Instagram or Twitter. Like I said,
Speaker 1: who knows your question may be featured on an upcoming show.
Speaker 1: I'm almost positive that I read that already, and if
Speaker 1: I did, please forgive me. But now I'm just telling
Speaker 1: you all over again to do it. Also, just so
Speaker 1: you know, the music for Handy My Purse is provided
Speaker 1: by none other than West Baltimore's on Gloomy Tunes. I
Speaker 1: look forward to you looking forward to listening to hand
Speaker 1: Me My Purse the podcast each and every Tuesday, and
Speaker 1: I'm out this bitch piece. Handy My Purse is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeart podcast. For more shows from iHeart Podcasts,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.