Speaker 1: We're back. I'm Drew McGarry and I'm David Roth and
Speaker 1: coming in September a new site we have built together
Speaker 1: called defect or Defector, and we're gonna have a new
Speaker 1: podcast to go with it, this very podcast which has
Speaker 1: the name The Distraction. It's out right now at every rust.
Speaker 1: Get your podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go listen right
Speaker 1: now to The Distraction everywhere. It's out right now. Go
Speaker 1: listen to see you by. I love DeVos so so
Speaker 1: much until it's time to work out. I burned calories
Speaker 1: arguing before I even get to the gym, so I
Speaker 1: get to workouts to day. That's why I'm in such
Speaker 1: great shape. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You're welcome,
Speaker 1: dead as Hey. I'm Codin and we're the ellis Is.
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos without boys
Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 1: I'm making need therapy most days. Wow. And one more
Speaker 1: important thing to mention, we're married. Yes, so we are.
Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 1: life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about through the lens of a Millennium married couple.
Speaker 1: Dead ass is a term that we say every day.
Speaker 1: Where we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one,
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: We're about to take Philow's off to a whole new level.
Speaker 1: Dead as starts. Now, let's see the story he comes
Speaker 1: up with. There's a lot of them, but this day
Speaker 1: in particular, I wake up in the morning, right Codeine's upset.
Speaker 1: She's upset, and I'm like, what's the matter with you?
Speaker 1: And She's just like, I don't, like, how are you
Speaker 1: looking at any of my cloes? Looking at my golos?
Speaker 1: So she proceeded to put on almost everything in the
Speaker 1: closet and it didn't fit. This was right after she
Speaker 1: had Jackson. So I was like, you know, you just
Speaker 1: had a baby. You know what I'm saying, you gotta
Speaker 1: work out to get back. I can't tell you no
Speaker 1: more I'm not having no more kids. Listen, So let's
Speaker 1: go to the gym and workout. She's like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't want to work out. I just want to
Speaker 1: go get surgery. I'm like, you still if you get surgery,
Speaker 1: but they eat like you're still pregnant. All the weight
Speaker 1: is gonna come back, like you're gonna have to You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to work either way, so you might as
Speaker 1: well start workingfect When I was pregnant with Jackson and
Speaker 1: I went from like one thirty five to so she
Speaker 1: gained forty three pounds. Right, So now she she tells me,
Speaker 1: I don't like my body. I want you to help me.
Speaker 1: So you guys know, I played in the NFL, I
Speaker 1: was tied. I trained like an athlete. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna come with me and train with me. So
Speaker 1: I put the harness on her heart, had her running sleds,
Speaker 1: had a lifting weights. I'm not a football player. I
Speaker 1: am not a football player. I'm like, yo, you asked
Speaker 1: me to help you, I'm gonna help you. We sat
Speaker 1: in the gym this day and argue for two hours
Speaker 1: and said, you know what, I'm not doing this no more.
Speaker 1: Just to avoid getting a divorce, I had to hire
Speaker 1: my friend to train my wife. And that's how she
Speaker 1: got in shape. Absolutely. See, we knew when to throw
Speaker 1: the towel in and cut our losses and higher help
Speaker 1: one and two and three info and get them sit
Speaker 1: ups right like this, She's so excited and I don't
Speaker 1: be excited to work out, So don't ask me if
Speaker 1: I'm going to the gym today with you, because chances
Speaker 1: are I'm not. Okay, Okay, ladies and gentlemen, my wife
Speaker 1: wants to look good. It hates to work out. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I cannot. I just can't get over it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes like it's like my my brain wants to do it,
Speaker 1: but then it's like my heart wants to do it,
Speaker 1: but my body don't want to do it. So and
Speaker 1: this is, this is this is part of the reason
Speaker 1: why we wanted to have this conversation because we hear
Speaker 1: a lot of people that you email us, you text us,
Speaker 1: how do you guys deal with physical appearance in your relationship.
Speaker 1: Codeine had talked before about, you know, snapping back, and
Speaker 1: we've got a lot of response from women, you know,
Speaker 1: to discuss the snap back. So we want to talk
Speaker 1: about how we as a couple of workout because you know,
Speaker 1: they say, you know, in this fit era, because couples
Speaker 1: that trained together stay together, right. I don't agree. I
Speaker 1: don't agree we were trained together because we have to.
Speaker 1: We're training together loosely, I would say, too, we do
Speaker 1: we loosely? Trained together. We we have parts of the
Speaker 1: workout that we take together, meaning like we may be
Speaker 1: in the gym together but not working out simultaneously. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I know want to bow out
Speaker 1: with devour sometimes and just be like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go do my own things. I'll call my
Speaker 1: sister up and I'll go out with her and we'll
Speaker 1: do our own little So let me ask you a
Speaker 1: real question, the serious questions. Just man question needs to
Speaker 1: ask his wife, what is so difficult about listening to
Speaker 1: your husband when he gives you advice that you you
Speaker 1: will take advice from someone's Like, what's so difficult about
Speaker 1: listening to me? Because I can say the same exact
Speaker 1: thing as Dr oz do Loo and you will not
Speaker 1: listen to me, But then come to me later on
Speaker 1: in show me an exact video of what they said.
Speaker 1: He'll be like to difficult about listening? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's just the timing, Like sometimes I just
Speaker 1: don't be in the mood to hear at that moment
Speaker 1: in time, and you choose to tell me at that
Speaker 1: moment in time, and you know, it's just like it's
Speaker 1: like a parent child relationship, Like you can tell your
Speaker 1: child the same thing over and over and over again,
Speaker 1: and they won't realize that sometimes until they hear it
Speaker 1: from somebody else. So it's so it's timing, So it happened.
Speaker 1: Don't don't try to be my father neither, because it's work.
Speaker 1: It's the wrong timing. So like when you're about to
Speaker 1: squat and I'm trying to trying to correct you so
Speaker 1: you don't get hurt if that's wrong timing, like me
Speaker 1: trying to correct you, Solf, you don't die squat rack. No, No,
Speaker 1: you're good at squats. I'll give you that. You have
Speaker 1: a lot of practice on that bodyweight squats especially, but
Speaker 1: I'm not. I just feel like whenever we're in the gym,
Speaker 1: if I try to help you with an exercise, you're
Speaker 1: always just like, I can't do it that way. Then
Speaker 1: you'll show me somebody doing it the way I told
Speaker 1: you and be like, look, baby, this is why it depends.
Speaker 1: It depends on my mood. To be completely honest, when
Speaker 1: it comes to working out. Sometimes I just have to
Speaker 1: talk myself into it, so just getting more feedback. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's just not even, and then I feel bad, like
Speaker 1: spassing on dollar or like somebody else, so I just
Speaker 1: spats on hum Instead, give me, as a man, some
Speaker 1: advice on how to help navigate the situation because I'm
Speaker 1: gonna LA's frustrating, like niggas be tired of the ship.
Speaker 1: I go to the gym a lot upset when you're
Speaker 1: with me, Like I always have to go into the
Speaker 1: office and decompress before I go train because we're always
Speaker 1: arguing on our way and argue when we get there.
Speaker 1: So help me out. Give me an example of how
Speaker 1: I can help you through that process. I mean, just
Speaker 1: don't help me the help that you've got, no no, I.
Speaker 1: When I say that, I mean the help. The help
Speaker 1: comes in the form of knowing that you need to
Speaker 1: bow out and you're not going to be coddling me.
Speaker 1: You're gonna find me the help that I need. So
Speaker 1: you know, if I don't work well with you, you
Speaker 1: find me some of who I could work with, and
Speaker 1: then I'm usually set up for success that way. So
Speaker 1: that's a question. Why do I gotta pay somebody to
Speaker 1: do what I do? Very just what it is. It's
Speaker 1: just what it is. You don't see no problem with
Speaker 1: the I mean it's a problem. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's a problem per se, but this it is what
Speaker 1: it is, Like I rather somebody else. You have to
Speaker 1: spend money to get somebody to tell you to do
Speaker 1: exactly what I'm taking. Honest. It depends on the months,
Speaker 1: Like I have my waves. I have my waves, Like
Speaker 1: think about it after having Cats and Cairo on the
Speaker 1: back to back, right after getting that six week check up,
Speaker 1: and it's like devours on me, like yo, it's six weeks.
Speaker 1: You know, doctor said you could work out, you can
Speaker 1: work out, But mentally I wasn't even there yet to
Speaker 1: be back in the gym after six weeks of just
Speaker 1: having a baby. I'm gonna be honest, after the six
Speaker 1: weeks working out was not what I was worried about.
Speaker 1: You already know that if it was a workout I
Speaker 1: was doing, I wasn't even worried about trying to go
Speaker 1: to the gym. I get it, I would get it,
Speaker 1: But I had to mentally prepare myself at that point
Speaker 1: to be like, you know what, okay, three months postpart
Speaker 1: because having a breastfeed and having to do all these
Speaker 1: different things, you'll never understand that. So so for you
Speaker 1: to be like, oh the doctor said six weeks and
Speaker 1: now you've got to get back in the gym. It
Speaker 1: just it just did not align with what I needed
Speaker 1: and what I wanted at the time. So here's and
Speaker 1: here's just full transparency what my issue is. I hate
Speaker 1: to see my woman be unhappy. And also you feel
Speaker 1: a little bit of guilt, like, man, you know, she
Speaker 1: she gave me a child, and I feel bad because
Speaker 1: I can't take on that responsibility. And I want to
Speaker 1: see you be happy. So part of me pushing you
Speaker 1: is me wanting to see you get back to being
Speaker 1: proud to be who you are. And it's hard for
Speaker 1: me to sit back and hear you complain about not,
Speaker 1: you know, not feeling like yourself. I can't just sit
Speaker 1: back and just bow out and let you do that.
Speaker 1: Part of me just wants to push you so that
Speaker 1: you can get back to well because I know you
Speaker 1: can do it. So it's it's a in a struggle
Speaker 1: for me as a husband and a father to be
Speaker 1: like do I not say anything? Do I lie and
Speaker 1: say hey, baby, look good, knowing that you know you
Speaker 1: don't look good like I need to know how I
Speaker 1: could help as a husband, and I think other people
Speaker 1: need to know because a lot of dudes ask me
Speaker 1: all the time, like, Yo, my wife just gave birth.
Speaker 1: My baby mother just gave birth, and she's not happy
Speaker 1: with the way she looks. And she seemed like she's
Speaker 1: reaching out for me for help. But I don't know
Speaker 1: how to help because I felt that way. I felt helpless.
Speaker 1: I spoke to don't know about it. I said, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to help, but but she don't want my help,
Speaker 1: Like what what? How could you? How could I have helped?
Speaker 1: You know? I think you you did all of the
Speaker 1: right things, like your heart was in the right place.
Speaker 1: And what we do have and we always pride ourselves on,
Speaker 1: is transparency. So you're like, you know what I would
Speaker 1: say to Devout, I want to get back in front
Speaker 1: of the camera and start doing work again. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: how else do you expect that to happen unless you
Speaker 1: get yourself back in order, Like if you, you know,
Speaker 1: work out and get yourself back. I think it's just
Speaker 1: with me sometimes it's a mental thing where I need
Speaker 1: to be in that space that I'm ready to do it,
Speaker 1: and I'm not always there. So that's when a relationship
Speaker 1: comes in handy, whether it's with your spouse or whether
Speaker 1: it's with your trainer or it's with you know, a
Speaker 1: workout partner. What do you have like being able to
Speaker 1: then say, all right, I need this person to help
Speaker 1: me motivate, or have an accountability partner. You're my accountability
Speaker 1: partner partner a lot of the times, and sometimes that
Speaker 1: will cause some unrest within the household because in that
Speaker 1: particular moment in time, I just may not be in
Speaker 1: the mood for it. So it's just it's a matter
Speaker 1: of me hearing something I don't want to hear, but
Speaker 1: I know it's necessary. I get it's frustrated for you.
Speaker 1: I understand that there's gonna be some frustration on both ends.
Speaker 1: I know you frustration. You just had a baby, you
Speaker 1: still breastfeeding, you have sleep deprivation. So I get it.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be frustration on your side. So I have
Speaker 1: to take something like having to rebuild your body all
Speaker 1: over again, like losing all core strength, you know. And
Speaker 1: I think the most frustrating time for me was having
Speaker 1: the two back to back babies, like no recovery. I
Speaker 1: was just starting to get on my feet after Cairo,
Speaker 1: and then it's like bam, he's six months. I was
Speaker 1: only three months into working in I had lost a
Speaker 1: ton of weight and it's like, oh, it's just pregnant again.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, what the hell, I might as well
Speaker 1: just sit back and wait till this pregnancy is over.
Speaker 1: So I get it. I get it. Your heart's in
Speaker 1: the right place a lot of the times, but it's
Speaker 1: just a it's an internal thing. And after that's like
Speaker 1: too a lot of times, women or men, regardless of
Speaker 1: who it is, you cannot work out for somebody else.
Speaker 1: You can't do it for anybody else. You have to
Speaker 1: do it for yourself. So when sometimes you look at
Speaker 1: me and you're just like, you know, I would love
Speaker 1: for you to get back to the way you used
Speaker 1: to be, and I would love for you to look
Speaker 1: this way and feel good about yourself, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: get it, thank you for the motivation, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to do it myself. Like, this is an internal thing.
Speaker 1: It's a mean thing. It's not a youth thing. I
Speaker 1: get that, But do you do understand that at the
Speaker 1: same time, it's a you thing. You put all that
Speaker 1: on me, And this is what my suitcase like here,
Speaker 1: And this is what I think women need to realize
Speaker 1: that men go through right. We love you, guys. It's
Speaker 1: hard for us to watch you be in pain and
Speaker 1: not be happy. So when you're constantly unloading on us
Speaker 1: the issues you have with yourself, it's not easy for
Speaker 1: us to just take that and just let it roll
Speaker 1: off our back and be like, hey, did she just
Speaker 1: being her? We want to help, And I know a
Speaker 1: lot of women say you can't solve my problems, you
Speaker 1: can't save me. I gotta do it myself. I get that,
Speaker 1: but you're constantly unloading on me, So how am I
Speaker 1: supposed to get it? It can be I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: there's no pen It is annoying when you wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning and and the first thing your wife does, Beau,
Speaker 1: you do the every morning you wake up in the morning,
Speaker 1: you look in the mir and you go and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh gosh, here it comes, here it comes, And She's
Speaker 1: just like, that's right here, look at this. What am
Speaker 1: I supposed to do about this? I didn't realize that,
Speaker 1: but I literally do wake up because our dresser is
Speaker 1: situated right in front of the bed, So I literally
Speaker 1: wake up every morning and I'm like, or I'll wake
Speaker 1: up in the morning after We could go hard in
Speaker 1: the gym and be like, baby, see the difference. We
Speaker 1: no bullshit, this is dead ass. Could do five sit ups.
Speaker 1: Come out the shower, baby, Look at my two top amps.
Speaker 1: Look at my two see my two times, and I'll
Speaker 1: be I'll be lying like I see you'll cover your too.
Speaker 1: Top apps always been there, they don't go nowhere. It's
Speaker 1: only the lower party of ads that have an issue.
Speaker 1: And that's what most women struggle with. I said, you
Speaker 1: have the issue I do. Don't bring that this way.
Speaker 1: Don't don't do the unload on me. Right, This is
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. This is what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: just making sure I don't have I don't have no
Speaker 1: issue with your lower abs. Your lower abs are perfect.
Speaker 1: You're liar, the best lower as I ever seen in
Speaker 1: my life. Just told everything would be great. Paid. You
Speaker 1: just have to target just right there. That's just target
Speaker 1: right that little lower ab area. All I'm trying to
Speaker 1: do is I've only housed three children there. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to agree with you. There's still there's still a little
Speaker 1: bit of boxes, like do y'all see what I go through?
Speaker 1: This is everything. I can't even agree with her. How
Speaker 1: these children can't even agree with her on what her
Speaker 1: body is going through without getting destroyed. And that's what's
Speaker 1: the funny. This is what happens with couples because women
Speaker 1: are frustrated this a lot of them could because a
Speaker 1: lot of men asked me. A lot of men say
Speaker 1: to me all the time, like, Yo, my girl is
Speaker 1: always saying she don't got nothing to where, she don't
Speaker 1: like the way she looks, and she needs help, and
Speaker 1: when I try to help her, she gets upset at
Speaker 1: me for helping her. Sometimes I just tell dudes like, yo,
Speaker 1: just live with the fact that your wife is gonna
Speaker 1: unload on you or your girl's gonna unload on you.
Speaker 1: You can't fix it. But that's just the frustrating part.
Speaker 1: And Dolo will tell you, I've sat in the car
Speaker 1: and watched you just be in my ear and just
Speaker 1: and just be like, you know what, I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 1: But then I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just sit in the office for twenty minutes and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak to Dolo about it before I get
Speaker 1: my workout in. But you need to understand two, and
Speaker 1: a lot of women need to understand too. Men go
Speaker 1: through that for nine months before you even have the baby,
Speaker 1: because bat came from you. That My back fat definitely
Speaker 1: came from stress. All that fat. You unloaded stress game,
Speaker 1: and I got back fat. Now, guys got back fat.
Speaker 1: Now it's because I used to go to sleep. I
Speaker 1: used to eat oreoles and drink run before I went
Speaker 1: to sleep, just so that I could just kind of
Speaker 1: be calm a little bit. But you know what I
Speaker 1: want to do. What I want to bring Dolo in,
Speaker 1: I think because he has tons of clients, hundreds of mints,
Speaker 1: and I know he has some stories from couples because
Speaker 1: I've seen him train couples. If you trained single women
Speaker 1: he's training. I think he has a very extensive repertoire
Speaker 1: people that he's trained and stuff like that. So I'm
Speaker 1: sure he's heard it. And you know what, It's funny
Speaker 1: gym sessions or workout training sessions become like therapy sessions.
Speaker 1: I'm sure people have unloaded a ton of stuff. We're
Speaker 1: gonna talk to Doyan Dolo rants. He is a writer
Speaker 1: and entrepreneur based right here in Brooklyn, New York, and
Speaker 1: as the owner and founder of Dola's Fitness and Prototype
Speaker 1: Sports Performance Lab, Strength and conditioning program. He spends a
Speaker 1: ton of time thinking about fitness questions we've been talking
Speaker 1: about today, and his book Life Fitness Success, Why Not
Speaker 1: You tackles principles that we all can use in achieving
Speaker 1: not just our Instagram fit Spo goals, but our overall
Speaker 1: life goals. Dola, what's going on? Bro? What's up? What
Speaker 1: are you a little bit? He ran a mathon right?
Speaker 1: Yes he did. Oh my goodness, yes, New York City.
Speaker 1: Can't remember. You can't really forget that date. I can't
Speaker 1: forget it New York City. I have to tell you
Speaker 1: all that that was such an emotional experience for everyone,
Speaker 1: Like I didn't realize how intense that would have been.
Speaker 1: Like it's like we knew you were training for it
Speaker 1: and everything, but then for a whole year and then
Speaker 1: of course, you know, a lot of your friends and
Speaker 1: family wanted to go out and to support you along
Speaker 1: the way. So everyone had like a group chat where
Speaker 1: we were like, Okay, I'm going to be at this
Speaker 1: male marker and I'm gonna be at this male marker.
Speaker 1: So my mom, my sister, and I and and Cairo
Speaker 1: who's um doll those godson as well. We went to
Speaker 1: one of the mile markers to see him, and it
Speaker 1: was such an adrenaline and and like it was just
Speaker 1: so emotional to see him actually doing this, something that
Speaker 1: he set out to do, that you worked so hard
Speaker 1: to do that. We were literally in tears, like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, we're so proud of you that you want
Speaker 1: to work out. So it didn't work, he was able
Speaker 1: to conquer that. Can you tell I set out to
Speaker 1: run it, honestly because doing what I do, I excuse seven,
Speaker 1: I can't do this, I can't do that. I can't
Speaker 1: do this. At the end of the day, I said,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna do something I don't like doing.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna run forever, forever. So I trained, I trained,
Speaker 1: that trained, and I bust my ass and I said,
Speaker 1: if I could run a marathon, you could do a
Speaker 1: push up. Stop complaining stuff, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like, at the end of the day, most people,
Speaker 1: they kind of work out is for thirty minutes, one hour,
Speaker 1: maybe an hour and a half. Try running for four
Speaker 1: and a half hours, you know. You know. I tried
Speaker 1: to tell that took a dem on time for workout.
Speaker 1: She's like, she don't feel up to it. And I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, don't in the whole marathon. You
Speaker 1: think you stop like it for four hours, but you
Speaker 1: know he kept running. You know what she said to me?
Speaker 1: Do I look like I give a ship with cane?
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you, don't know. We're
Speaker 1: in this age of technology, right fat diets um. Everybody's
Speaker 1: Instagram trainer, everywhere, everyone's an Instagram model, these bodies, yes,
Speaker 1: a lot of women in particular, some men asked me,
Speaker 1: the things you see on Instagram? Are they realistic goals?
Speaker 1: It's promotion. A lot of times you got these companies
Speaker 1: they go they latch onto a influencer or someone that
Speaker 1: already looks good and they say, hey, we'll give you,
Speaker 1: We'll give you this, We'll give you this if you
Speaker 1: smile and hold our tea up right, And then they
Speaker 1: show you a couple of clips of them working out
Speaker 1: when the body ready looked like that. But the fact
Speaker 1: of the matter is when a million people like you
Speaker 1: and like what you do and say, oh, how many
Speaker 1: women are gonna buy that sex? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: It's just based off the perception of who may look
Speaker 1: like what someone else wants to look like, and automatically,
Speaker 1: they want everything around them. What what made you look
Speaker 1: like that? What can help me? I want to try it?
Speaker 1: At least try it. So if people, if a million people,
Speaker 1: least try a product that's bread. So do you think
Speaker 1: do you get a lot of people who say I
Speaker 1: want to look like this? Yes, I said, I say,
Speaker 1: don't show me any pictures of anyone else. You're yourself.
Speaker 1: You ain't nobody else. At the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you are made the way you're made. You can't look
Speaker 1: like Susie Q or Jane Doe because at the end
Speaker 1: of the day you're you will look like yourself and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be struggling to look like this woman and
Speaker 1: that woman or that guy and this man. And that's
Speaker 1: never gonna happen. Do you get men who say I
Speaker 1: want to look like this too? Yes? How many of
Speaker 1: them say they want to look like me? None? Yet?
Speaker 1: Then maybe shots And here's a funny thing. I can't
Speaker 1: shoot back. You can't. I can't. I got to take that.
Speaker 1: It's funny though, because usually man, you figure you know,
Speaker 1: because if ego may not say, you know, do I
Speaker 1: want to look like this guy or that guy? So
Speaker 1: how do you break down those ego walls for people
Speaker 1: who feel like, you know what, I'm going to come
Speaker 1: in here and do X y Z, But no, this
Speaker 1: is what I'm gonna have you do. UM. When when
Speaker 1: that happens, I always say, you reached out because you
Speaker 1: need help. If you didn't need help, you'd just be
Speaker 1: winning it by yourself. So if you need help, take
Speaker 1: the help and understand what we're trying to do as
Speaker 1: a team and build together. Because I mean, it's most
Speaker 1: most of the time I have probably women clients. Women
Speaker 1: don't have egos. They want just like you said, I
Speaker 1: want to get this done. I want to get help.
Speaker 1: I need help. Men don't feel that way. Do those
Speaker 1: women listen to their significant others. No, they listen to me,
Speaker 1: So that's not so. So No, this is important to
Speaker 1: talk about because the same same we talked about, this
Speaker 1: same thing, I feel like, just don't listen to me.
Speaker 1: It's just it's it's come from that professional aspect that
Speaker 1: if if a husband of boyfriend says it to their spouse,
Speaker 1: it'll seem like nitpicking. It'll seem like you're just poking
Speaker 1: out of poking out of poken at. But when they
Speaker 1: listen to someone that has kind of no emotional ties.
Speaker 1: It's the truth, you know what I mean. So it's okay,
Speaker 1: listens to me say it's like if the vows says it,
Speaker 1: it's like always trying to mess with me. That's that's
Speaker 1: the mindset he's gonna happen. But you know what happens
Speaker 1: with with a lot of men though right no one
Speaker 1: wants to send their woman into a gym to take
Speaker 1: advice from a dude that's ripped up, big strong. They
Speaker 1: have that intimate hour together. It's intimidating for a lot
Speaker 1: of men, as much as they don't want to admit it.
Speaker 1: It's intimidating for men to say, my girlfriend, my wife,
Speaker 1: the mother of my child goes to a trainer. It's
Speaker 1: it's intimidating. And I've had that conversation many times. You
Speaker 1: know what I say. In the first meeting, I say,
Speaker 1: bring your boyfriend the husband in here. Let's tell me.
Speaker 1: I don't mind that because at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I'm helping you, bro, I'm taking a young girl up,
Speaker 1: I'm getting her ready for you to kins of whatever
Speaker 1: you want to do. But I'm helping you. And that's
Speaker 1: so once you put that out there to them and
Speaker 1: they start understanding it and it's like, no one's no
Speaker 1: one's pushing up on your girl. Man. It's like, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you're paying for it, So
Speaker 1: keep paying, bro and do is about his money, but
Speaker 1: there is about is about his money. So he will
Speaker 1: not mixing business with pleasure because this is this is
Speaker 1: a very true true story. When Dolo, when I first
Speaker 1: started my first retired Dolo got out of college. We
Speaker 1: decided to we want to partner together. We were both
Speaker 1: in Gershman Park in Brooklyn, training people in the park,
Speaker 1: and at this point it wasn't about making money, It's
Speaker 1: about building the name. Dolo was training people for ten dollars.
Speaker 1: I was paying for my guys to go to the gym,
Speaker 1: but we were training for free pretty much because our
Speaker 1: time was worth much more than that. When we decided
Speaker 1: we were going to work together, the one thing Dolo
Speaker 1: and I and my brother Brian all said was, yo,
Speaker 1: we will not cross the line with any clients, because
Speaker 1: if you cross that line with clients, that becomes who
Speaker 1: you are. Don't send you know, don't send your child
Speaker 1: to him because he sleeps with the moms. Don't send
Speaker 1: your girl to him because he sleeps with people's girls.
Speaker 1: We've always said that, you know, We've always said and
Speaker 1: and Dolo was a single guy and we're going to
Speaker 1: the gym, you see a woman, nice body, and our
Speaker 1: friends will be like your dough boy. I know he'd
Speaker 1: be like, yo, no, I don't do that. And there's
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of trainers I know who
Speaker 1: have the same type of mantra because this is their business,
Speaker 1: this is their livelihood. And I think it's important for
Speaker 1: men to know that, you know, there are trainers out there,
Speaker 1: and there are people are here who are really about
Speaker 1: their business and just not looking for a match, you know,
Speaker 1: just a quick match so they can hit it. So
Speaker 1: I think it's a point for men to know you
Speaker 1: can trust some guys, you know, had that interview, find
Speaker 1: out what they're about. And I'm talking about because that
Speaker 1: that kills your business. And this with a business, like
Speaker 1: a personal business like that, everything is based on referrals.
Speaker 1: So if I deal with one girl and then things happen,
Speaker 1: she's not referring me because now essentially she's gonna think
Speaker 1: going to do the same thing with her friend, So
Speaker 1: why would she put me on her friend? So now
Speaker 1: that one person probably killed probably thousands of dollars in
Speaker 1: the future off that referral smart we don't touch that.
Speaker 1: So when it comes to the getting in the gym
Speaker 1: with somebody, they first come to you, what's the process
Speaker 1: like for them? Do you set some sort of gold
Speaker 1: meal plan? Like how do you how do your packages
Speaker 1: and things work? Um, you know, not for herself per se,
Speaker 1: but we just want to know, like, what's the process
Speaker 1: like if someone has a goal to reach Because some
Speaker 1: people don't know anything about person, people come in, people
Speaker 1: have all types of goals, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like people come in on March first and said
Speaker 1: it was thirty pounds by March fifteen. I say, no,
Speaker 1: we can't do that, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, They'll come up with lofty goals.
Speaker 1: If I want to lose a hundred pounds in this
Speaker 1: amount of times, I said the first thing, I say,
Speaker 1: what are you doing personally to achieve any of that?
Speaker 1: And they say nothing. Okay, So you want to lose
Speaker 1: that much weight, you have to be doing at least
Speaker 1: something some kind of goal setting. How do we get
Speaker 1: to a hundred pounds? I want to lose five pounds
Speaker 1: this week. I don't lose ten pounds this week. You
Speaker 1: can't get to that big goal without setting small goals.
Speaker 1: So we'll discuss those type of goals. Moving along. UM,
Speaker 1: As a client comes in, we'll go through an assessment.
Speaker 1: I'll assess their body, you know, all the all the particulars,
Speaker 1: weight measurements, UM, everything like that for this right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have degrees in sports, nutrition, fitness management, and kinesiology.
Speaker 1: That's another thing. Everybody who calls themselves a trainer, they're
Speaker 1: going and taking a twenty minute tests of course two
Speaker 1: d No. I used to the busy and took all
Speaker 1: these classes and all these internships, and essentially I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be a trainer, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I I should be in some like orthopedic clinic with
Speaker 1: a white smock, but that is boring to me. I
Speaker 1: came out of school and I said, why do I
Speaker 1: want to work in a facility where people are coming
Speaker 1: to me towards after their hurt or towards the back
Speaker 1: end of their existence. That ship is depressed as hell.
Speaker 1: So I said, how can I use my knowledge to
Speaker 1: help people so they don't have to be in that position?
Speaker 1: Let me just, Yeah, I said, let me just. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be in a gym anyway. I get to wear
Speaker 1: shorts and sweats every day, sneakers, sandals, be comfortable, and
Speaker 1: it's it's a helping thing. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: the last resort to pick people off the floor because
Speaker 1: they have issues after the fact. It's funny you bring
Speaker 1: that up because this literally just triggered a small story
Speaker 1: in me. Um with Dolo, super personal story. UM, I
Speaker 1: don't know how many people know, but my mom suffered
Speaker 1: from a heart attack. Um. This was four years ago. Um,
Speaker 1: pretty fit woman. She's been working out with Dola for
Speaker 1: a while. You know, doesn't eat badly. I would say
Speaker 1: part of it who she wasn't eating maybe maybe once
Speaker 1: again that she wasn't eating well. A lot of stress,
Speaker 1: like a very high stress job as a director of
Speaker 1: nursing at a nursing home. And Dola was working out
Speaker 1: with my mom one morning and she didn't feel so well. Um,
Speaker 1: can you recall, like what it happens in that circumstance.
Speaker 1: I mean it was she usually comes in bubbly every
Speaker 1: you know, every time, well she comes in she said,
Speaker 1: all right, let me get on an elliptical, let me
Speaker 1: loosen up. This time she didn't get loose, and it
Speaker 1: was noticeable. We couldn't really do much. And I've seen it.
Speaker 1: I've seen her eyes looking glaze like I said, We're
Speaker 1: just gonna sit down waiting for a little bit to
Speaker 1: let her catch her breath. UM. Took a UM, put
Speaker 1: out fingers on the pulse. Took a pulse real quick.
Speaker 1: It wasn't crazy, it wasn't rapid, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That's why these these things like strokes in the heart,
Speaker 1: attacks and blood pressure, these are silent killers that we
Speaker 1: may never know, you know, I mean, these things could
Speaker 1: happen to anybody at any age, but you could obviously
Speaker 1: tell that something was wrong because within that things are
Speaker 1: clogged inside. You can't see inside the body. So with that,
Speaker 1: we just sat down. I monitored her, make sure she
Speaker 1: was all right. Said she was good. We worked that
Speaker 1: she's good. We stayed a whole extra half an hour.
Speaker 1: Seemed fine. Soon as she got home, same thing. Tristan
Speaker 1: Tristan and Tristan Tristan's working the nurse and feel as well.
Speaker 1: So he's seen the same signs I've seen. Went to
Speaker 1: the hospital after that, Remember that morning, you know you
Speaker 1: had called me. Dollo called me and said, YO, check
Speaker 1: on miss j because she didn't look good. And my
Speaker 1: mom called me and she said I didn't feel so hot.
Speaker 1: You know, I threw up after the workout. So at
Speaker 1: first I was just like, oh, Dolo trains, you're really hard,
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, I actually couldn't get through the workout.
Speaker 1: And she said I'm actually gonna take the day. And
Speaker 1: my mother never takes a day from work, so when
Speaker 1: she said she was taking a day, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: something's not right. It's all was more raised Jamaica, so
Speaker 1: he knows um but sank god is you know, It's
Speaker 1: amazing how things work out. My brother just happened to
Speaker 1: be home for work that day and saw my mom
Speaker 1: and says she didn't look good. And of course, being
Speaker 1: the nurse you know, who never wants to diagnose themselves,
Speaker 1: she's like, I'll be fine, I'll take a nap. She
Speaker 1: went to take a nap, and my brother was like, no, Mom,
Speaker 1: I think we should go to the e er. Had
Speaker 1: my brother not done that, and had Dolo not made
Speaker 1: the phone calls to us to check on her, the
Speaker 1: doctor literally said my mother would have gone to bed
Speaker 1: and not woken up percentage she had to. Then she
Speaker 1: was clogged, like in different arteries. One was two of
Speaker 1: them were clogged. She had to end up getting sense
Speaker 1: put in like what an emotional situation that was and
Speaker 1: what triggered that was her exercising and working out with Dolo.
Speaker 1: He was the first person to see that something was wrong.
Speaker 1: So when you talk about people not being UM certified
Speaker 1: or not being equipped to train or ware of signs like,
Speaker 1: that's super super importantly. And this brings us to a
Speaker 1: bigger topic which I wanted to discuss with you today
Speaker 1: is the Black community, what we eat, how we work,
Speaker 1: and not taking care of ourselves and saying that things
Speaker 1: run in the family or things are generational, and are
Speaker 1: those things really The first thing is your mom had
Speaker 1: a woman she hired forty two just recently, was sitting
Speaker 1: at work at her desk and died at her desk.
Speaker 1: Two children. Correct, And this happens too often. We've seen
Speaker 1: it at Prototype. We have a lot of young kids
Speaker 1: who are parents in their thirties and forties, running to
Speaker 1: catch the bus, running to get on the train. Sat
Speaker 1: we fiel while I'm gonna go home go to take
Speaker 1: a nap and don't wake up. And this is why
Speaker 1: when Dolo spoke to me about why he wanted to
Speaker 1: do fitness, I feel like we had to have Dolan
Speaker 1: one to show because Dolo said it, it's all about preventative.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to get people after the fact. And
Speaker 1: in our community, we don't take care of ourselves. We
Speaker 1: don't go to the doctor. And what people don't understand
Speaker 1: is that of the world's diseases can be killed with water.
Speaker 1: Playing something and can you talk about some of the
Speaker 1: biggest misconceptions about fitness that people are worried about and
Speaker 1: how some of the things you do can help people
Speaker 1: stay healthy. The biggest world, the biggest thing about just fitness,
Speaker 1: period is when people feel People feel like I'm only
Speaker 1: gonna work out one day. How does that help? Well?
Speaker 1: That one day returns into two days. The hardest part
Speaker 1: of doing anything fit is starting. So once you start,
Speaker 1: you trigger that snowball effect to keep going. Working out,
Speaker 1: even thirty minutes a day of just moderate exercise, just
Speaker 1: break a sweat, you're increasing your heart I mean, increasing
Speaker 1: your lifespan by at least seven years men and women.
Speaker 1: Simple things like even walking taking the stairs instead of
Speaker 1: the escalators. Little things like cutting back on, cutting back
Speaker 1: on the extra sugars. Different things like that. Um, oh gosh,
Speaker 1: I eat so much sugar. You know we just started
Speaker 1: do got me me on the diet diet right now,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to cut sugar on the nine week diet.
Speaker 1: He got a ship, right, man. Do you see when
Speaker 1: I see a lot of people who have health issues
Speaker 1: when they come to you. Yes, young people, young not
Speaker 1: not much young people. Asthma. I want to say, asthma
Speaker 1: is the biggest thing with younger people because and a
Speaker 1: lot of them they're not super out of shape. It's
Speaker 1: it's internal. They just they think they're slim or they're
Speaker 1: not on the cusp of being overweight or obese, so
Speaker 1: they think they're fine. But then they end up. I
Speaker 1: don't had to run up the stairs and I couldn't breathe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you already are probably clogging up. You need to work out,
Speaker 1: you needs What do you eat today? I had um, bacon,
Speaker 1: egged cheese and home fries. Okay, don't do that again.
Speaker 1: Wore to work out before the first day of working out,
Speaker 1: So it comes down to a first off a dieting thing,
Speaker 1: not even diet, but a better eating plan life. That's
Speaker 1: an amazing thing. People feel like if they're not overweight,
Speaker 1: they're health exactly, and that's what you're saying. Those are
Speaker 1: the people that don't go to the doctor because they
Speaker 1: feel like they're fine. Your father, my father is not
Speaker 1: in shape. My father's shape. He does, you know, he
Speaker 1: goes to the doctor and the doctor will get blood
Speaker 1: work done and the doctor said, you're okay, and my
Speaker 1: father see, I'm good, broke, I got blood work done.
Speaker 1: When my father knows he should move. We talked about
Speaker 1: a the time my father had a scare as well
Speaker 1: where his his uh I think it was his cholesterol
Speaker 1: was very high and he was having issues with his
Speaker 1: left arm issues and left arms with blood pressure was high,
Speaker 1: and me, being the person I am, was like, yeo,
Speaker 1: we're going to the hospital after especially with your mom.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to wait. But it's just it kills
Speaker 1: me that we don't take care of ourselves. And fitness
Speaker 1: has become this aesthetic thing where I just want to
Speaker 1: get in shape to take pictures on Instagram. We're realistically,
Speaker 1: fitness should be more about health. It's about wellness. I
Speaker 1: think that's who where surgeries come into play. When women
Speaker 1: are going to get you know, these different surgeries done
Speaker 1: or whatever, and there's no shade to them doing surgery.
Speaker 1: That's what's foultry boat. That's great, but also to thinking
Speaker 1: about heart health, like you're not going to get the
Speaker 1: benefits of that by just aesthetically fixing your body on
Speaker 1: the outside, you know. And I look at the different
Speaker 1: things that people say, you know, when you go to
Speaker 1: the doctor's office and you have to check off your history,
Speaker 1: so it's like who in your family has diabetes and
Speaker 1: high cholesterol and heart disease, and that's that. And I
Speaker 1: noticed I'm checking off a whole lot of boxes. And yeah,
Speaker 1: and we've been thinking about deval and I at least
Speaker 1: how within our household we can now change that, you guys,
Speaker 1: are you guys change that we have hereditary and go
Speaker 1: down family lines. But then it's that one generation that says,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to create the new lifestyle
Speaker 1: for my kids and my kids kids. Absolutely, if you guys,
Speaker 1: you know anyone keeps that going like, uh, my my
Speaker 1: mom had have blood pressure. Oh well no, which is
Speaker 1: sometimes too like my family, if I don't want the
Speaker 1: kids to eat a certain thing or you know, not
Speaker 1: to do certain things with eating. They look at me like,
Speaker 1: well you didn't, you were fine, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the problem though, the problem is that just because
Speaker 1: it worked for the generations before, it clearly didn't work
Speaker 1: so well because it didn't work well because everyone's having
Speaker 1: heart issues. So if I said I don't want my
Speaker 1: children to eat this, or I don't want them having sugar,
Speaker 1: I don't want them eating fast food. There's a reason why.
Speaker 1: Because we're trying to change the narrative now when it
Speaker 1: comes to fitness and it comes to health, like we
Speaker 1: should be the generation to be able to change that.
Speaker 1: So I think that's by being equipped with the knowledge
Speaker 1: to be able to do it, learning about different things.
Speaker 1: There's so many different food sources now that we're learning,
Speaker 1: you know, have all sorts of things contaminating it. So
Speaker 1: it's really working on that. We we are the generation
Speaker 1: and change. But it's it's a catch twenty two. It's
Speaker 1: like we'll have so many new vegan stores open up,
Speaker 1: we have so many new healthy stores open up, and
Speaker 1: you have the calorie council and everything, but then you'll
Speaker 1: have the calorie council McDonald's board, and we can see
Speaker 1: it's as calories. We're still gonna buy that triple quarter
Speaker 1: pound that would actually making an extra max sauce. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna Sometimes I just drop about McDonald's and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: that big mac look good and I'm like, what calories?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a hundred? I do that. But here's
Speaker 1: my thing though, with all of these fad diets, right,
Speaker 1: what do you tell people? How do you how do
Speaker 1: you maintain a healthy lifestyle with they're telling the throwing
Speaker 1: a keto, they're throwing veganism, Pscterian flexitarian. Uh, Like, there's
Speaker 1: so many because every other week, every other week, it's
Speaker 1: like I want to try something, you want to try
Speaker 1: something new. You know. I will answer that question first,
Speaker 1: and then when that comes to that, it starts with
Speaker 1: portion control. Because you can't cold turkey get someone off
Speaker 1: the things they love. You know what I mean. If
Speaker 1: you're a Caribbean family and you are used to curreyk
Speaker 1: chicken and rice and peas, and I'm not gonna tell
Speaker 1: you don't eat it, all right, the first step is
Speaker 1: to limit it, break your portions down little by little,
Speaker 1: so now you have your So you got your curreyk
Speaker 1: chicken and your rice, and piece this down the third
Speaker 1: all right, you take that full portion, you break that
Speaker 1: down a half. So whatever you make or whatever your
Speaker 1: mom makes something, all right, you can start with that
Speaker 1: within the first week two weeks. You have to wean
Speaker 1: yourself off like like any addiction. You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: with yourself, because food is an addiction. So you break
Speaker 1: that down a half, a little by little. Right now,
Speaker 1: breaking in my half, you're um constricting your stomach. Your
Speaker 1: stomach starts to get smaller. You eat smaller meals throughout
Speaker 1: the day from that's from those small portions now. So
Speaker 1: now as you start to get used to the small portions,
Speaker 1: now you substitute, get a better rice in there, get
Speaker 1: a better carbohydrate source in there. So now I'm eating.
Speaker 1: It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. You have
Speaker 1: to try to get used to it, one system consistent.
Speaker 1: Once you get used to it, it becomes nothing becomes easy.
Speaker 1: This is to be clear too, because you are not
Speaker 1: talking about doing the key though. Um, I have a
Speaker 1: show that I'm doing and I want to get trim.
Speaker 1: So when you see some of these diets. It's for
Speaker 1: a purpose. It's like a woman wanted to do a
Speaker 1: photo shoot, a man want to do a photo shoot.
Speaker 1: You want to lean out for that. Diets are made
Speaker 1: for a short amount of time, for short term goals.
Speaker 1: It's not for lifestyle. So like, you can't just do
Speaker 1: the keyto diet for your whole life. No, you'll die,
Speaker 1: you die, you will fall apart, You'll die. Because I
Speaker 1: was saying that to Kay, I said, we're looking at
Speaker 1: this last night, right, and she was like, this is
Speaker 1: having a sugar with jaw. He's like, even make sense.
Speaker 1: And I saw a bacon cheese burger with pepperoni on
Speaker 1: a lettuce bread, and I said, I can just eat that,
Speaker 1: but I can't eat the break exactly. This is the
Speaker 1: best diet ever. And then I started to think about it,
Speaker 1: like that much cholesterol and sodium would kill me over
Speaker 1: time if that became my primary diet, right, especially trying
Speaker 1: to give a baking in the house. If I was like, well,
Speaker 1: now we keep baking again. I was trying to give
Speaker 1: up bacon altogether, but now that'sunds like, oh, I keep
Speaker 1: baking again bacon. And it's hard in a household sometimes
Speaker 1: too because I don't want to necessarily do this diet
Speaker 1: where I'm eating all this met because I was trying
Speaker 1: to get away from meat. So it was like within
Speaker 1: the house, no lord, here he go, don't you get
Speaker 1: back to get back to your story right, Well, the
Speaker 1: limited amounts of meat that I have been eating, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's hard sometimes within the house. And then I have
Speaker 1: my children, do you know what I mean, who all
Speaker 1: eat different things. So sometimes that in itself is just stressful.
Speaker 1: So I understand people who have the challenge sometimes of
Speaker 1: trying to make sure within a household at least that
Speaker 1: everybody's taken care of and what ever it is. But
Speaker 1: like you said, it's a short term term. It's because
Speaker 1: I mean, even with stuff like that, it's it takes
Speaker 1: a drastic amount of carbohydrates out your diet that you
Speaker 1: actually need, you needed for your consistent energy because that's
Speaker 1: what actually keeps you moving throughout the day. So when
Speaker 1: you take all these carbohydrates, you gotta you gotta eat
Speaker 1: about five teen percent per day. Everything else is fat
Speaker 1: and protein, you know what I mean. So when you
Speaker 1: take those carbs out your your your body is using
Speaker 1: that fat to kind of fuel you. But it's essentially
Speaker 1: that's good for a certain amount of time because you're
Speaker 1: burning all that fat. So you end up losing so
Speaker 1: much weight because you're not putting these these are these
Speaker 1: are carbohydrates in your body, all the starchy carbs, your pasta,
Speaker 1: your potato, your bread, and things like that. So it
Speaker 1: works for a month you want to lose weight, I'm
Speaker 1: telling you it'll work. It'll work thirty sixty days, great,
Speaker 1: But then you do that for a year, you're going
Speaker 1: to be in the hospital bed. So the question is
Speaker 1: in that thirty sixty days, am I gonna lose my
Speaker 1: boot because I'm not trying to lose the boy because
Speaker 1: he's gonna be in the gym working. Okay, So if
Speaker 1: I'm simultaneously, you know, lifting weights, I'm talking to do
Speaker 1: don't look this way like you. As long as I'm
Speaker 1: lifting my weights, doing my squats like I've been getting low,
Speaker 1: then I don't have to worry about losing my booty meat.
Speaker 1: You keep you keep that consistent, keep the consistent workouts,
Speaker 1: and do certain modifications um as in like you know,
Speaker 1: um increasing the weight so you're actually building instead of
Speaker 1: losing all that whatever fat you got around your waistline
Speaker 1: and all that that starts to go right and then
Speaker 1: the booty. Because I'm speaking from a woman's perspective, but
Speaker 1: so many times just having conversations with women, they'll be like,
Speaker 1: I like, I want to keep my sighs, I want
Speaker 1: to keep my but I just want to lose my stomach.
Speaker 1: I think I hear that so much whenever. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just want to lose my stomach. Here that you say that,
Speaker 1: you say that, do you not say that? Do? Like
Speaker 1: I said, I'm trying to. I'm just trying if people
Speaker 1: say that, like, what's the best way to do that?
Speaker 1: Because Devo has told me, and I'll give you your
Speaker 1: props here. You need to run, you need to train,
Speaker 1: can act that. You need to do sprints, high intensity things, jumps,
Speaker 1: explosive movements. That way you can in the bottom. Definitely,
Speaker 1: girls who want to just lose the stomach. Along with diet,
Speaker 1: what else should it be doing? Well? Diet is number
Speaker 1: one because as any one of us men are female.
Speaker 1: When we eat food and all our food gets stored.
Speaker 1: Men we get in the front, we get the beer belly.
Speaker 1: Women you get him in the side, you get the
Speaker 1: little muffin tops. All right, so diet is number one.
Speaker 1: So with that being said, same thing like the bell said,
Speaker 1: it goes from high intensity to workouts. Short bursts of workouts,
Speaker 1: not like running and jogging for an hour forty five minutes,
Speaker 1: quick quick spurts of five minutes, seven minutes boom, take
Speaker 1: a quick arrest five seven minutes, take a quick arrest
Speaker 1: like short sprints like quick quick um hit workers, high
Speaker 1: intensity interfo training, um, things like that. That's gonna help
Speaker 1: you burn all the fat. And with that you focus
Speaker 1: on sims um specific workouts for your core, not even
Speaker 1: sit ups and crunches, core work like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, like kettle bell swings or there's a million
Speaker 1: I could say, right, um, but core workouts that's going
Speaker 1: to get that stomach down in stomach flat keep and
Speaker 1: oh it's important for people to know too. Dolo and
Speaker 1: myself have both trained women through pregnancies. It is important.
Speaker 1: And let me be and me be clear. If you
Speaker 1: haven't been working out, you do not choose to start
Speaker 1: working out after you get pregnant. This is only two
Speaker 1: women who've been working out and then are pregnant. And
Speaker 1: I'll give you a perfect example. Serena Williams I was,
Speaker 1: of course, of course he was getting I was starting
Speaker 1: with Serena and I was going to go up a
Speaker 1: level to you. I didn't want to go straight to
Speaker 1: you because I had to give them a realistic go
Speaker 1: they can achieve first, and then you You see what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It you love it, I love it too, baby.
Speaker 1: If you like it, I love it. So. Serena Williams
Speaker 1: was an elite athlete. Most people feel like once you
Speaker 1: get pregnant, you gotta stop moving to protect the baby.
Speaker 1: She was still competing in live events while pregnant. I
Speaker 1: didn't know she was pregnant. The baby came out perfectly fine.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing for women who work out. Just
Speaker 1: because you get pregnant. You don't have to stop listen
Speaker 1: to your physician. If the baby is good, you continue
Speaker 1: with your workouts as normal. We've trained plenty of women
Speaker 1: who have gone through pregnancy. It's also helped with delivery.
Speaker 1: It has because Cadine has trained through her pregnancy. She's
Speaker 1: trained with DOLO, she's trained with myself when she felled
Speaker 1: up through it, and the deliveries have been great, and
Speaker 1: it's helped for speedy. It's helped to kind of you know,
Speaker 1: bounce back when she was ready to start. So continue
Speaker 1: to train while you're pregnant, absolutely, and that's so important. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as long as you're and the whole eating for two
Speaker 1: things like that. That didn't really affect man or you
Speaker 1: were joking about it in the beginning, but I mean
Speaker 1: I was eating normally and I was still active, and
Speaker 1: it just helped me feel better in general, because at
Speaker 1: that point when you're pregnant, especially towards the end, you
Speaker 1: feel a key everywhere. It's like nothing feels good. But
Speaker 1: it actually felt better for me to be working out
Speaker 1: within moderation and you modify things and stuff. Um, but yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. Does The release is good endorphins
Speaker 1: because a lot of time throughout that nine months, you'll
Speaker 1: you'll feel up and down about this and that I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm getting this. I'm getting that you need
Speaker 1: to work. You need something that's going to take care
Speaker 1: of you personally, and working out always makes you feel better,
Speaker 1: all right, dello. So tell me if I was to
Speaker 1: take away three things from this about fitness, about you know,
Speaker 1: inspiration that we find with technology, nutrition, dieting, lifestyle changes.
Speaker 1: What are like three things that you would say, are
Speaker 1: the main things people can take away from this if
Speaker 1: they're looking to change their lifestyle. Three things. The number
Speaker 1: one thing. Start a lot of people that are the
Speaker 1: hardest part to sit there. You contemplate, you're scrolling through Instagram,
Speaker 1: you're looking on TV. You're wondering where to start. Get up,
Speaker 1: that's where you start playing and simple, get up and move.
Speaker 1: That's plain and simple. That's the number thing. Get up. Second,
Speaker 1: don't follow what everyone else is doing. Work on your
Speaker 1: own craft. Lick yourself in the mirror, give yourself that
Speaker 1: specific goal. I need to work on this. I need
Speaker 1: to build this much, I need to lose this way,
Speaker 1: I need to do this from my health. I want
Speaker 1: to run around and play with my kids. These things
Speaker 1: what matters the most to you find that, put that
Speaker 1: importance to it, and then start that process from their
Speaker 1: third thing as that being the most important thing. Don't
Speaker 1: follow the quick fix fat diets. The quick fixed fat
Speaker 1: diets will only end you up gaining more weight than
Speaker 1: you lost over time. That's what That's what happens. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: So when someone is trying to someone says, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do this diet and they do it for a
Speaker 1: quick amount of time and then they kind of fall off.
Speaker 1: Everything falls to the wayside. It does. It's not just
Speaker 1: a diet, it's also the whole fitness and workout program.
Speaker 1: Because now the dice over, they feel like, oh I
Speaker 1: lovest this, this this, I'm gonna go to Miami live
Speaker 1: my best life. They stop everything. So it's about that
Speaker 1: lifestyle change, about the substitution of foods and the limiting
Speaker 1: exact insistency, limiting a portion sizes. So it's all about
Speaker 1: that one day, one day together. Yeah, definitely, we're running
Speaker 1: out of time. We really appreciate you. But before we leave,
Speaker 1: we gotta tell people would find you. Brother. I gotta
Speaker 1: tell people would find you man. But you can hit
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. I met Dolos Fitness s. Definitely, we're
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break and get into some ads,
Speaker 1: but we'll be right back helping to answer some of
Speaker 1: these listener letters. This for the record, there it is
Speaker 1: a win for the ages. Tiger Woods is one of
Speaker 1: our most inspiring sports icons. In his story, it comes
Speaker 1: with many chapters. I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible
Speaker 1: and selfish behavior, but here it is the return to glory.
Speaker 1: This is all American, a new series from Stitcher hosted
Speaker 1: by me Jordan Bell. You realized Tiger Wis doesn't know
Speaker 1: who he is in the history of Gaul no question
Speaker 1: in my mind. And this season, with the help of
Speaker 1: journalist Albert Chen, we're asking what if the story of
Speaker 1: Tiger Woods that the media has been telling, what if
Speaker 1: it's been completely wrong? All American Tiger is out now
Speaker 1: listen and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app.
Speaker 1: I love Dolo, that's my guy. We've known each other
Speaker 1: since we were teenagers, played football against each other, grew
Speaker 1: up in Canarsi together. So it's just dope to see
Speaker 1: what he's been able to do himself, which I don't
Speaker 1: know about Dolo. Dolo was bad kid growing up. He's
Speaker 1: bad kids. But he's gone now he's not here to
Speaker 1: defend himself now. That's why I said it when he left.
Speaker 1: That's my boy. I love him and and I appreciate
Speaker 1: him for coming through. So No, absolutely doing big things
Speaker 1: and now to listen to others shows. Absolutely do we
Speaker 1: say that every show. This is our favorite part of
Speaker 1: the show. Think it is? It is? It really is,
Speaker 1: And it looks like the first question is for me, Yes,
Speaker 1: so it's as good. How did you get back after
Speaker 1: all your babies? First time mom here and struggling to
Speaker 1: find myself after baby well girl six, let me tell
Speaker 1: you there's nothing easy about getting back after a baby.
Speaker 1: I will say that, um, and since your first time mom,
Speaker 1: I think it's a little unique in that after my
Speaker 1: second and third baby, I kind of knew what to
Speaker 1: expect with my body. Though each pregnancy is different, each
Speaker 1: labor and delivery is different, you kind of realize what
Speaker 1: you can and can't do within a certain time frame
Speaker 1: after having these kids. But as a first time mom,
Speaker 1: especially with Jackson, we spoke about earlier devot. I think
Speaker 1: in the story time how it was after I had
Speaker 1: Jackson and I wasn't happy with my body and the
Speaker 1: way I looked because this is something so new to you,
Speaker 1: Like you're used to your body looking a certain kind
Speaker 1: of way. Then you grow an entire human being for
Speaker 1: nine months, and then you expect yourself to just snap
Speaker 1: back after a couple of weeks, Like it's just not realistic.
Speaker 1: And as the first time mom, I feel like you
Speaker 1: should really be spending your time investing in and and
Speaker 1: and loving up on that baby, Like those are the
Speaker 1: best parts and it goes so fast that I would
Speaker 1: tell any first time mom try not to stress it
Speaker 1: as much, because you really should be taking that time
Speaker 1: to connect with your baby and bond and enjoy everything
Speaker 1: that is motherhood, especially if you're breastfeeding. That's a whole
Speaker 1: another you know entity in itself that your body is
Speaker 1: now providing nutrients for a child. So my advice would
Speaker 1: be to enjoy the baby as much as you can,
Speaker 1: and then if you feel like it, and if your
Speaker 1: your body is telling you that you need to work out,
Speaker 1: maybe because you used to work out before, or if
Speaker 1: you're just not happy with the way you look like
Speaker 1: dolo set get up and start so start doing something,
Speaker 1: whether it's taking the baby for walks, you know, having
Speaker 1: your partners doing little exercises with you, starting with you know,
Speaker 1: once you of course getting clearance from your doctor, starting
Speaker 1: with like, you know, little things like jumping Jack's or
Speaker 1: what are some exercises that we did in the beginning,
Speaker 1: just to kind of get my body moving again. Allow
Speaker 1: me just to interject a little bit, not that you know,
Speaker 1: of course it wasn't directed to me because I've never
Speaker 1: had kids, but I do think it's important for women
Speaker 1: who have children. Even hearing you say it today, you said,
Speaker 1: to make sure you you love on your baby, make
Speaker 1: sure that you don't forget yourself while in the process.
Speaker 1: I watched Codeine forget herself and then she goes back
Speaker 1: and look at pictures now and say, devote, how did
Speaker 1: you let me get like this? And that was one
Speaker 1: thing I learned that I always, as as her spouse
Speaker 1: and as her mate, had to remind her even through
Speaker 1: the pregnancy, to take care of herself. And hopefully, you know,
Speaker 1: hopefully you're with someone who's supportive, but hopefully that guy
Speaker 1: will be there to be like, listen, I know that
Speaker 1: you love the baby. I know that this and that.
Speaker 1: Give me the child, Give the child to your mother,
Speaker 1: my mother. You go focus on you for a little bit.
Speaker 1: Take these two hours out of the day to just
Speaker 1: focus on you. The baby will be fine. I know
Speaker 1: all mothers feel like nobody can take care of their
Speaker 1: baby as good as them, and I see the K
Speaker 1: was the same way. But that's the quickest way to
Speaker 1: lose yourself. And I watched K go through it, and
Speaker 1: even the second and the third time she felt a
Speaker 1: little bit of postpartum depression. Afterwards. I didn't even realize
Speaker 1: she was going through it until a year later because
Speaker 1: she was so focused on the baby and focus on this,
Speaker 1: because those moments of mommy guilt, like this is a thing,
Speaker 1: it's an actual thing. And I learned this that to
Speaker 1: speak into a couple of moms in the recent times.
Speaker 1: It's like a mom guilt thing that you feel like
Speaker 1: if you take time away from your child, you take
Speaker 1: time away from your household, or your husband, or your family,
Speaker 1: or your a significant other, that you feel this guilt
Speaker 1: like how dare me take time for myself? And that's
Speaker 1: partner so necessary because you cannot continue to give and
Speaker 1: poor and give and poor when you have nothing left.
Speaker 1: That's why you have a partner. That's why people don't
Speaker 1: have a partner. What about women who are doing this
Speaker 1: on their own too, well, that's that's a unique situation.
Speaker 1: And even if you don't have to have a partner,
Speaker 1: you should have a village or I hope you have
Speaker 1: a village to help you through the process. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure even the women who choose to do
Speaker 1: this on their own have people who you know, they
Speaker 1: sat down with and say, hey, I'm going to help
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need help. No one can have a baby
Speaker 1: by themselves, like there's a reason why humans are not
Speaker 1: a sexual because you need a partner to help in
Speaker 1: the process. And even if you choose to go a
Speaker 1: different route than having a spouse to be married, you
Speaker 1: still have a village which is still intern your partner.
Speaker 1: You know, your mom can be your partner, your sister
Speaker 1: can be a partner, your best friends can be your partners.
Speaker 1: Rely on your partners as much as possible, because that's
Speaker 1: the village is going to help you raise the child.
Speaker 1: And I think that's important. Yeah. Yeah, after a while too,
Speaker 1: you get to especially once the second and third child
Speaker 1: roll around. Child, you'll be ready for anybody who has
Speaker 1: open arms that you know will love on your baby
Speaker 1: for a little bit while you get you know, an
Speaker 1: hour or two to yourself to really work on you. So,
Speaker 1: you know, I say take your time. I know there's
Speaker 1: a societal pressure for the snap back, and you'll have
Speaker 1: people make snide comments like, oh, you you had that baby,
Speaker 1: how that baby is a year, that baby is two,
Speaker 1: you still got baby fat. You really got to tune
Speaker 1: on people out and tell them go to hell, tell
Speaker 1: them how to get there and then you just really
Speaker 1: focus on yourself. So um, so yeah, congrats to your
Speaker 1: first time mommy is out there. It's an amazing, amazing,
Speaker 1: amazing thing. Um, you know, love up on those babies,
Speaker 1: spend some time, but but don't forget yourself. I know
Speaker 1: and know it's hard. And hopefully if if your significant
Speaker 1: other is there with you, man, woman, your family, they
Speaker 1: need to know too that you're going to go through
Speaker 1: this process and it's going to be difficult. Like I
Speaker 1: speak to some men and how do I do with
Speaker 1: my wife going through this? She's gonna go through it.
Speaker 1: It's part of the process. You're never It's very rare
Speaker 1: you find a woman who is so so strong and
Speaker 1: mentally mentally prepared to have a baby that they can
Speaker 1: just take it all and stride and not give you
Speaker 1: a little bit of backlash because you know, you don't
Speaker 1: have to deal with those things that they go through.
Speaker 1: So if you have a partner with you, who's there
Speaker 1: riding with you, just let them know this is part
Speaker 1: of the process and you're gonna get this. And the
Speaker 1: hormones are very real postpartum. The Diressian depression is very real,
Speaker 1: and you can have that up to a couple of
Speaker 1: years after you have a baby. It manifests itself in
Speaker 1: different ways, but it's the key to it is also
Speaker 1: I mean in in turn, not looking at just your family,
Speaker 1: but also to your health care professionals. So I know
Speaker 1: my midwife was very instrumental in helping me get through that. UM.
Speaker 1: You know, whether it's your doctor or your duela, whoever
Speaker 1: it is, UM, reach out and ask for help. Asking
Speaker 1: for help is really key. Yes, So let's get down
Speaker 1: to the second question. This is a very simple question,
Speaker 1: and it's for either one of us. How do you
Speaker 1: conquer your fears? This, this one for me is very simple.
Speaker 1: Head on. You know that I've always been like that.
Speaker 1: My mom told me that when I was in kindergarten,
Speaker 1: the first time I had to get on the bus
Speaker 1: to go to school by myself, she remembers, and I
Speaker 1: remember the day, what were you like, four or five?
Speaker 1: I was five turn five, And I remember the day
Speaker 1: we were in front of fifty three or five Avenue
Speaker 1: d Brooklyn, New York. The bus pulls up Mr Augusty's bus,
Speaker 1: and this is the first time I'm getting on the bus,
Speaker 1: Like my parents weren't dropping me to school. Because I
Speaker 1: used to go to Little Rats and they used to
Speaker 1: take me, and I remember my my father and my
Speaker 1: mother said hey, y'all, get on the bus. I remember
Speaker 1: being scared and just walking up to the bus and saying,
Speaker 1: de Val, don't look back because you're gonna cry. Just
Speaker 1: get on the bus. I remember that vividly, and in
Speaker 1: my mom to this day recalls the fact that I
Speaker 1: never looked back and she cried because I just got
Speaker 1: on the bus and I didn't look back. But that's
Speaker 1: always been my makeup, to just see see something and
Speaker 1: be like, you know what, that scares me. If I
Speaker 1: don't face it, it's gonna always scare me. I remember
Speaker 1: being seven being afraid of the dark, and we just
Speaker 1: moved to our house in the basement, and I was nine.
Speaker 1: A matter of fact, now even said nine, just moved
Speaker 1: the house, first time having the basement ever, and it's
Speaker 1: dark down there, the washing machine is going the boilers,
Speaker 1: and I remembering I gotta go downstairs to turn the
Speaker 1: light on. You know what I did. I just walked
Speaker 1: down there in turn the light on, and then once
Speaker 1: I got through it, you realize that there's nothing to
Speaker 1: be afraid of. You gotta just jump right in. Wow.
Speaker 1: So it's like, for I think about your days when
Speaker 1: you play like football, for example, when you play in
Speaker 1: the NFL and you were in the you know, end
Speaker 1: zone about to catch a punt or kick return or whatever.
Speaker 1: It was fair and nerves. Are they like the same
Speaker 1: how you deal with it the same way? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean there's there's different types. Because there's fear where
Speaker 1: you you know, you fear that, there's you know pain
Speaker 1: is coming, or you fear something's gonna happening detrimental. And
Speaker 1: there's there's nerves where Okay, if I dropped this point,
Speaker 1: I could get cut. You know what I'm saying. If
Speaker 1: I make a mistake, That to me isn't fear. That's
Speaker 1: just that's nerves. That's you know a little bit worried.
Speaker 1: You have some anxiety. Um. For me, fear is something
Speaker 1: very different. Fear is if I catch this point and
Speaker 1: I get smacked, I could get hurt. There comes a
Speaker 1: point in your life where you have to choose if
Speaker 1: you're gonna let fear control you, where you're going to
Speaker 1: control your fears, and then controlling your fears, you understand
Speaker 1: what the fear is and how to beat it. And
Speaker 1: you face it. So rather than run from the fear,
Speaker 1: which most people do, most people use the Ostrich technique.
Speaker 1: They put their head in the dirt and they say,
Speaker 1: I don't see the fear. There's no fear there. I
Speaker 1: don't see it. I don't see people. Most people deal
Speaker 1: with fear that way. But remember you, you can't grow
Speaker 1: until you're uncomfortable. The only way you can grow through
Speaker 1: through discomfort. We've been speaking about that recently a lot,
Speaker 1: about thinking about making changes in our lives together as individuals.
Speaker 1: And it's a couple and it's a family. How you
Speaker 1: need to put yourselves in these uncomfortable situations. And it's
Speaker 1: not a it's not a metaphor, it's a physical attribute.
Speaker 1: Your muscles can't grow unless you make them uncomfortable. There's discomfort,
Speaker 1: you break them down. Diamonds cannot become diamonds unless it's cold, dark,
Speaker 1: and there's immense amounts of pressure. So you need discomfort
Speaker 1: in order to grow. So when I see fear, I
Speaker 1: find a way to beat it and I attack it. Wow.
Speaker 1: I like how you tie that into like breaking down
Speaker 1: the monso, because if you talk about fitness today, off
Speaker 1: the top, the impressive I think for me with my fears,
Speaker 1: it depends on how tangible the fear is. Like, you know,
Speaker 1: you have different types of fear. There's a fear of death,
Speaker 1: for example. That's something you can't control per se, you know,
Speaker 1: but it's still a fear. Do you let that control you?
Speaker 1: Do you not do things because of fear? That's the thing?
Speaker 1: And no, I would say, I don't. Maybe I do
Speaker 1: have a better handle on my fears. And I think
Speaker 1: you don't even realize that you have a better You
Speaker 1: couldn't be where you are now without handling your fears.
Speaker 1: You couldn't. You don't even realize, which is a good thing.
Speaker 1: It's a good thing. If you start to recognize all
Speaker 1: your fears and say, oh, I was scared of that.
Speaker 1: I was scared of that, that's when you start to
Speaker 1: acknowledge that the fear is there, Like my fear of heights.
Speaker 1: But I go ahead and book at AIRB and be
Speaker 1: on the fifty second floor of a building that's facing
Speaker 1: exactly but because the view is cute, you know, it's
Speaker 1: a cute view. You know, I can get up whatever,
Speaker 1: and I can do it, and you know, I can
Speaker 1: do a little Instagram story and people be like, oh, shoot,
Speaker 1: that's a nice view. I'm on the balcony, like, that's
Speaker 1: why you're able to face your fears because you want
Speaker 1: to be cute. Hey, how do you conquer your fear
Speaker 1: trying to be trying to be cute? Trying to be cute?
Speaker 1: That's dope. Though I guess I thought I was more
Speaker 1: of the ostrich, but maybe I'm not because even the
Speaker 1: top difficult conversations that we even have, sometimes I fear
Speaker 1: what you're gonna say, and not in a bad way,
Speaker 1: but it's just a fair of the unknown of how
Speaker 1: you will react to it, and then we end up
Speaker 1: facing it head on. Where As in the past I
Speaker 1: used to be the ostrich and not want to have confrontations.
Speaker 1: Now you you are not afraid of competition, especially with me.
Speaker 1: Look at how much we've grown. Absolutely because that man
Speaker 1: who acts listener letter right here, I wish I could
Speaker 1: shout you out and had a little therapy session up
Speaker 1: in here today. All right, So our third listener letter
Speaker 1: and final for today is what's your opinion on someone
Speaker 1: who is married or in a relationship being on a
Speaker 1: dating app not to find someone to date, but for
Speaker 1: conversation purposes and learning different perspectives from different individuals. I
Speaker 1: feel like the person who framed this question framed because
Speaker 1: they wanted us to agree with them. They're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I only had this dating nepp because I'm trying to
Speaker 1: learn from people and get different perspectives from different individuals.
Speaker 1: But clearly, whoever you're dating and doesn't agree with this,
Speaker 1: I don't even think to mean to me, to me
Speaker 1: perfectly honest, somebody got in trouble being on the dating
Speaker 1: net clearly, and they want some validation as if they're
Speaker 1: doing right, and you want validation here and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna give it to you. This is how I feel
Speaker 1: about this. You can get opinions from other people simply
Speaker 1: by going on Facebook and having old school conversations with people,
Speaker 1: going to the bar, meaning going to the bar, going
Speaker 1: to the coffee out and put your phone down for
Speaker 1: a two point five seconds and starting a conversation like
Speaker 1: no one does that anymore. That allow me to play
Speaker 1: Devil's advocate for a second, not saying that it's okay
Speaker 1: to go on a dating app. But say you're married
Speaker 1: and you go to the bar and start speaking to people,
Speaker 1: you will get looked at crazy. If you're talking to
Speaker 1: someone of the opposite sex and you're married, just having
Speaker 1: random conversation. Though, Think about how many times people have
Speaker 1: been talking and it looks funny. Think about why, why
Speaker 1: why are they talking here? Such a scenario like, for example,
Speaker 1: you're at the bar, just happen to be having a drink.
Speaker 1: You're waiting for your homeboard to come meet you at
Speaker 1: the bar, there's a young lady sitting next to you.
Speaker 1: She's having a drink, You're having a drink, and then
Speaker 1: you guys are having conversation. You're saying that looks suspicious
Speaker 1: or anything can be taking. That's all it takes to
Speaker 1: somebody to take a quick photo of that and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: in this moment, that a woman exactly. That's why. That's
Speaker 1: why you can't necesarily just go out and start talking
Speaker 1: to people. You know. It also depends on how comfortable
Speaker 1: you and your partner are. But social media is that's
Speaker 1: what social media is for. You don't really need a
Speaker 1: dating app. You can on Facebook and post if you
Speaker 1: want someone's opinion, go on Facebook, post a question and
Speaker 1: watch how many people respond to comments and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: You know that's true. I don't know why it has
Speaker 1: to be. I don't know why it has to be
Speaker 1: whoever posed this question. I think we're trying to get
Speaker 1: some validation here, but I'm not gonna give it to
Speaker 1: you today. That does seem a little suspect, you know,
Speaker 1: to get perspectives, and I like to play devil's advocate,
Speaker 1: but it's hard for meating, like why are dating it? Right?
Speaker 1: It could totally be something else. They could totally be
Speaker 1: something else. So yeah, go to the coffee shop, strick
Speaker 1: of conversation. Maybe not with one individual, but start a
Speaker 1: conversation with a couple of people nearby if they're not working.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, and also understands for that,
Speaker 1: understand this. If you and your spouse, what significant other,
Speaker 1: are comfortable in your relationship and they're at the bar
Speaker 1: talking to someone else, it's not gonna be a big deal.
Speaker 1: Because I tell you right now, it don't matter how
Speaker 1: many pictures you take of me at a bar speaking
Speaker 1: to someone. And this has happened before, Yes, this is
Speaker 1: happening for that I was I was filming. I was
Speaker 1: filming make up to break up. Yes, And the scene
Speaker 1: was taken in the bar and it was me and
Speaker 1: my co star and We're literally sitting at the bar
Speaker 1: going over our lines as we're waiting for the weather
Speaker 1: to change outside, and a woman comes up to me
Speaker 1: and says, that don't look like codein what she gave you,
Speaker 1: all three of those boys. And I was just like,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, it's very rude for you to automatically
Speaker 1: assume that you know what I'm saying. What if I
Speaker 1: was at a business meeting, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That that did show me that sometimes even in your innocence,
Speaker 1: people can take it and twisted however which way they want.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And so I also knew.
Speaker 1: I laughed with the woman first of all, because I
Speaker 1: thought it was funny. I laughed because I knew that
Speaker 1: you you know, you could have called Canine right now.
Speaker 1: She would have been like, it's right. But I do appreciate,
Speaker 1: you know, those people who you know, stand with your soldiers.
Speaker 1: Even I posted I posted one of my home girls
Speaker 1: on my Instagram the other day. I was in Atlanta
Speaker 1: and I posted on my Instagram and that the most
Speaker 1: comments was, but where it's Codeine. I'm like, Dad, I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: this is one of the women that I'm working with
Speaker 1: the As love y'all like I do, I do, you
Speaker 1: always at my back. If you want to be featured
Speaker 1: as one of our listener letters, be shure to email
Speaker 1: us at dead As Advice at gmail dot com. That's
Speaker 1: d E A D A S S A D V
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. We'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you and give our two cents. Tell me
Speaker 1: what your moment of truth is today, babe? What what
Speaker 1: do you take away from this loaded conversation about body immagiction,
Speaker 1: nutrition and fitness and everything Dolo spoke about. Well, this
Speaker 1: is the biggest thing because we spoke about it in
Speaker 1: terms of relationship. For us, my moment of truth came
Speaker 1: when Dolo explained that she he has men who come
Speaker 1: to him with their significant other and that women don't
Speaker 1: want to listen to anything they're saying, but they'll listen
Speaker 1: to everything Dolo. My moment of truth was hot. So
Speaker 1: it was not just Cadine. It's not just my girlfriend,
Speaker 1: it's not just my wife. There is an issue with
Speaker 1: listening to your significant other nitpick about your body when
Speaker 1: you're already a little bit insecure about it. It's easier
Speaker 1: to listen to a professional so I can't get so
Speaker 1: defensive or insecure on myself that you don't want to
Speaker 1: listen to me, you rather listen to someone else. That
Speaker 1: was my moment of truth. It's okay for your significant
Speaker 1: other to listen to a professional about themselves when they
Speaker 1: don't want to listen to you, because that used to
Speaker 1: bother me. I used to say to you all the time,
Speaker 1: why don't you just want to listen to me? Listen
Speaker 1: to him? Explain it? That way taught me. So you're
Speaker 1: gonna star, you gonna leave me alone? Now you know
Speaker 1: I've been left you alone, son, not since like yesterday. Son,
Speaker 1: Come on, like yesterday. You were like, so I'm going
Speaker 1: to the gym. Are you coming now? That was your
Speaker 1: way of saying, OK, you need to work out today
Speaker 1: because you haven't worked out in a week now. In
Speaker 1: my defense, the day before that, I just went to
Speaker 1: the gym and didn't say nothing to you, and you
Speaker 1: said to me, if you go into the gym to me,
Speaker 1: he was going into the gym, So make up your mind.
Speaker 1: It depends on that's that's also another moment of truth.
Speaker 1: You don't get to you. I need, I need. You
Speaker 1: don't know what she wants all right, So I just
Speaker 1: gotta be ready. I gotta I gotta be ready, like
Speaker 1: jumping a rope for you. It's MP's got to be ready,
Speaker 1: all right. You on your point one and point two.
Speaker 1: You know it's funny because that leads me to my
Speaker 1: moment of truth. And my moment of truth is anybody,
Speaker 1: regardless of who you are, man, woman, whatever, you have
Speaker 1: to be honest with yourself at some point. And I
Speaker 1: think that's where I fall in that I can't rely
Speaker 1: on you to always hold me accountable. I have to
Speaker 1: be honest with myself and be like Codin. You want
Speaker 1: to do this, you want to do that, you want
Speaker 1: to look this way, you want these opportunities. You can't
Speaker 1: even exhaust anybody else, whether it be Devol or Dolo
Speaker 1: or a trainer or whoever else it is. You can't
Speaker 1: exhaust them by you know, putting these issues that you
Speaker 1: have on them and then not expecting for them to
Speaker 1: help you. I have to be honest with myself and
Speaker 1: be like girl sis, if this is what you really want,
Speaker 1: you're going to have to make the change internally. And
Speaker 1: I can't rely on everybody to always be the one
Speaker 1: to push me because that gets exhausting for them too,
Speaker 1: So you're welcome Devout again. Wow, Okay, you're welcome for
Speaker 1: the second time this episode. I'm so glad you were
Speaker 1: able to fun thank yourself. So next time I'm bitching
Speaker 1: a moment about going to the gym, you have to
Speaker 1: replay this episode in this part so I can remind
Speaker 1: myself and I could be my own motivation to stop
Speaker 1: lying to myself and be true to who I am
Speaker 1: and want to be. I would definitely do that moment
Speaker 1: of truth there. Yes, make sure you follow us on
Speaker 1: social media. That's I Am Devout and Cadine I Am.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to
Speaker 1: rape and subscribe that as that ass is a production
Speaker 1: of Stitcher. It's produced by T Square, Stephanie Karayuke and
Speaker 1: Dinora Opinion. Our executive producer as Chris Manning, and we'd
Speaker 1: like to give a special thanks to our recording engineer
Speaker 1: Jared O'Connell, our sound designer Brendan Burns, and studio manager
Speaker 1: Ashley Warren. We'll back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth.
Speaker 1: We have a podcast going on right now as part
Speaker 1: of the Stitchen and we're called Substraction. That's available everywhere.
Speaker 1: Get a podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go. Listen right
Speaker 1: now to the Distraction, right now. It's out. Do it, please,