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Speaker 1: We're back. I'm Drew McGarry and I'm David Roth and

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Speaker 1: coming in September a new site we have built together

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Speaker 1: called defect or Defector, and we're gonna have a new

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Speaker 1: podcast to go with it, this very podcast which has

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Speaker 1: the name The Distraction. It's out right now at every rust.

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Speaker 1: Get your podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go listen right

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Speaker 1: now to The Distraction everywhere. It's out right now. Go

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Speaker 1: listen to see you by. I love DeVos so so

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Speaker 1: much until it's time to work out. I burned calories

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Speaker 1: arguing before I even get to the gym, so I

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Speaker 1: get to workouts to day. That's why I'm in such

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Speaker 1: great shape. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You're welcome,

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Speaker 1: dead as Hey. I'm Codin and we're the ellis Is.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos without boys

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Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.

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Speaker 1: I'm making need therapy most days. Wow. And one more

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Speaker 1: important thing to mention, we're married. Yes, so we are.

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Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 1: life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to

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Speaker 1: talk about through the lens of a Millennium married couple.

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Speaker 1: Dead ass is a term that we say every day.

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Speaker 1: Where we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one,

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: We're about to take Philow's off to a whole new level.

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Speaker 1: Dead as starts. Now, let's see the story he comes

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Speaker 1: up with. There's a lot of them, but this day

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Speaker 1: in particular, I wake up in the morning, right Codeine's upset.

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Speaker 1: She's upset, and I'm like, what's the matter with you?

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Speaker 1: And She's just like, I don't, like, how are you

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Speaker 1: looking at any of my cloes? Looking at my golos?

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Speaker 1: So she proceeded to put on almost everything in the

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Speaker 1: closet and it didn't fit. This was right after she

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Speaker 1: had Jackson. So I was like, you know, you just

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Speaker 1: had a baby. You know what I'm saying, you gotta

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Speaker 1: work out to get back. I can't tell you no

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Speaker 1: more I'm not having no more kids. Listen, So let's

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Speaker 1: go to the gym and workout. She's like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to work out. I just want to

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Speaker 1: go get surgery. I'm like, you still if you get surgery,

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Speaker 1: but they eat like you're still pregnant. All the weight

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Speaker 1: is gonna come back, like you're gonna have to You're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to work either way, so you might as

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Speaker 1: well start workingfect When I was pregnant with Jackson and

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Speaker 1: I went from like one thirty five to so she

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Speaker 1: gained forty three pounds. Right, So now she she tells me,

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Speaker 1: I don't like my body. I want you to help me.

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Speaker 1: So you guys know, I played in the NFL, I

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Speaker 1: was tied. I trained like an athlete. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna come with me and train with me. So

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Speaker 1: I put the harness on her heart, had her running sleds,

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Speaker 1: had a lifting weights. I'm not a football player. I

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Speaker 1: am not a football player. I'm like, yo, you asked

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Speaker 1: me to help you, I'm gonna help you. We sat

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Speaker 1: in the gym this day and argue for two hours

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Speaker 1: and said, you know what, I'm not doing this no more.

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Speaker 1: Just to avoid getting a divorce, I had to hire

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Speaker 1: my friend to train my wife. And that's how she

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Speaker 1: got in shape. Absolutely. See, we knew when to throw

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Speaker 1: the towel in and cut our losses and higher help

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Speaker 1: one and two and three info and get them sit

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Speaker 1: ups right like this, She's so excited and I don't

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Speaker 1: be excited to work out, So don't ask me if

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Speaker 1: I'm going to the gym today with you, because chances

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Speaker 1: are I'm not. Okay, Okay, ladies and gentlemen, my wife

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Speaker 1: wants to look good. It hates to work out. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I cannot. I just can't get over it.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes like it's like my my brain wants to do it,

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Speaker 1: but then it's like my heart wants to do it,

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Speaker 1: but my body don't want to do it. So and

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Speaker 1: this is, this is this is part of the reason

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Speaker 1: why we wanted to have this conversation because we hear

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Speaker 1: a lot of people that you email us, you text us,

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Speaker 1: how do you guys deal with physical appearance in your relationship.

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Speaker 1: Codeine had talked before about, you know, snapping back, and

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Speaker 1: we've got a lot of response from women, you know,

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Speaker 1: to discuss the snap back. So we want to talk

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Speaker 1: about how we as a couple of workout because you know,

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Speaker 1: they say, you know, in this fit era, because couples

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Speaker 1: that trained together stay together, right. I don't agree. I

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Speaker 1: don't agree we were trained together because we have to.

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Speaker 1: We're training together loosely, I would say, too, we do

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Speaker 1: we loosely? Trained together. We we have parts of the

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Speaker 1: workout that we take together, meaning like we may be

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Speaker 1: in the gym together but not working out simultaneously. You

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? I know want to bow out

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Speaker 1: with devour sometimes and just be like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go do my own things. I'll call my

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Speaker 1: sister up and I'll go out with her and we'll

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Speaker 1: do our own little So let me ask you a

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Speaker 1: real question, the serious questions. Just man question needs to

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Speaker 1: ask his wife, what is so difficult about listening to

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Speaker 1: your husband when he gives you advice that you you

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Speaker 1: will take advice from someone's Like, what's so difficult about

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Speaker 1: listening to me? Because I can say the same exact

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Speaker 1: thing as Dr oz do Loo and you will not

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Speaker 1: listen to me, But then come to me later on

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Speaker 1: in show me an exact video of what they said.

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Speaker 1: He'll be like to difficult about listening? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just the timing, Like sometimes I just

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Speaker 1: don't be in the mood to hear at that moment

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Speaker 1: in time, and you choose to tell me at that

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Speaker 1: moment in time, and you know, it's just like it's

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Speaker 1: like a parent child relationship, Like you can tell your

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Speaker 1: child the same thing over and over and over again,

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Speaker 1: and they won't realize that sometimes until they hear it

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Speaker 1: from somebody else. So it's so it's timing, So it happened.

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Speaker 1: Don't don't try to be my father neither, because it's work.

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Speaker 1: It's the wrong timing. So like when you're about to

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Speaker 1: squat and I'm trying to trying to correct you so

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Speaker 1: you don't get hurt if that's wrong timing, like me

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Speaker 1: trying to correct you, Solf, you don't die squat rack. No, No,

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Speaker 1: you're good at squats. I'll give you that. You have

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Speaker 1: a lot of practice on that bodyweight squats especially, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I just feel like whenever we're in the gym,

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Speaker 1: if I try to help you with an exercise, you're

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Speaker 1: always just like, I can't do it that way. Then

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Speaker 1: you'll show me somebody doing it the way I told

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Speaker 1: you and be like, look, baby, this is why it depends.

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Speaker 1: It depends on my mood. To be completely honest, when

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Speaker 1: it comes to working out. Sometimes I just have to

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Speaker 1: talk myself into it, so just getting more feedback. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's just not even, and then I feel bad, like

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Speaker 1: spassing on dollar or like somebody else, so I just

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Speaker 1: spats on hum Instead, give me, as a man, some

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Speaker 1: advice on how to help navigate the situation because I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna LA's frustrating, like niggas be tired of the ship.

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Speaker 1: I go to the gym a lot upset when you're

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Speaker 1: with me, Like I always have to go into the

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Speaker 1: office and decompress before I go train because we're always

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Speaker 1: arguing on our way and argue when we get there.

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Speaker 1: So help me out. Give me an example of how

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Speaker 1: I can help you through that process. I mean, just

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Speaker 1: don't help me the help that you've got, no no, I.

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Speaker 1: When I say that, I mean the help. The help

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Speaker 1: comes in the form of knowing that you need to

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Speaker 1: bow out and you're not going to be coddling me.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna find me the help that I need. So

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Speaker 1: you know, if I don't work well with you, you

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Speaker 1: find me some of who I could work with, and

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Speaker 1: then I'm usually set up for success that way. So

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Speaker 1: that's a question. Why do I gotta pay somebody to

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Speaker 1: do what I do? Very just what it is. It's

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Speaker 1: just what it is. You don't see no problem with

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Speaker 1: the I mean it's a problem. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's a problem per se, but this it is what

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Speaker 1: it is, Like I rather somebody else. You have to

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Speaker 1: spend money to get somebody to tell you to do

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Speaker 1: exactly what I'm taking. Honest. It depends on the months,

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Speaker 1: Like I have my waves. I have my waves, Like

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Speaker 1: think about it after having Cats and Cairo on the

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Speaker 1: back to back, right after getting that six week check up,

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Speaker 1: and it's like devours on me, like yo, it's six weeks.

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Speaker 1: You know, doctor said you could work out, you can

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Speaker 1: work out, But mentally I wasn't even there yet to

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Speaker 1: be back in the gym after six weeks of just

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Speaker 1: having a baby. I'm gonna be honest, after the six

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Speaker 1: weeks working out was not what I was worried about.

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Speaker 1: You already know that if it was a workout I

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Speaker 1: was doing, I wasn't even worried about trying to go

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Speaker 1: to the gym. I get it, I would get it,

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Speaker 1: But I had to mentally prepare myself at that point

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Speaker 1: to be like, you know what, okay, three months postpart

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Speaker 1: because having a breastfeed and having to do all these

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Speaker 1: different things, you'll never understand that. So so for you

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Speaker 1: to be like, oh the doctor said six weeks and

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Speaker 1: now you've got to get back in the gym. It

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Speaker 1: just it just did not align with what I needed

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Speaker 1: and what I wanted at the time. So here's and

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Speaker 1: here's just full transparency what my issue is. I hate

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Speaker 1: to see my woman be unhappy. And also you feel

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Speaker 1: a little bit of guilt, like, man, you know, she

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Speaker 1: she gave me a child, and I feel bad because

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Speaker 1: I can't take on that responsibility. And I want to

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Speaker 1: see you be happy. So part of me pushing you

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Speaker 1: is me wanting to see you get back to being

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Speaker 1: proud to be who you are. And it's hard for

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Speaker 1: me to sit back and hear you complain about not,

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Speaker 1: you know, not feeling like yourself. I can't just sit

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Speaker 1: back and just bow out and let you do that.

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Speaker 1: Part of me just wants to push you so that

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Speaker 1: you can get back to well because I know you

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Speaker 1: can do it. So it's it's a in a struggle

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Speaker 1: for me as a husband and a father to be

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Speaker 1: like do I not say anything? Do I lie and

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Speaker 1: say hey, baby, look good, knowing that you know you

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Speaker 1: don't look good like I need to know how I

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Speaker 1: could help as a husband, and I think other people

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Speaker 1: need to know because a lot of dudes ask me

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Speaker 1: all the time, like, Yo, my wife just gave birth.

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Speaker 1: My baby mother just gave birth, and she's not happy

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Speaker 1: with the way she looks. And she seemed like she's

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Speaker 1: reaching out for me for help. But I don't know

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Speaker 1: how to help because I felt that way. I felt helpless.

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Speaker 1: I spoke to don't know about it. I said, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to help, but but she don't want my help,

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Speaker 1: Like what what? How could you? How could I have helped?

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Speaker 1: You know? I think you you did all of the

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Speaker 1: right things, like your heart was in the right place.

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Speaker 1: And what we do have and we always pride ourselves on,

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Speaker 1: is transparency. So you're like, you know what I would

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Speaker 1: say to Devout, I want to get back in front

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Speaker 1: of the camera and start doing work again. He's like, well,

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Speaker 1: how else do you expect that to happen unless you

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Speaker 1: get yourself back in order, Like if you, you know,

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Speaker 1: work out and get yourself back. I think it's just

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Speaker 1: with me sometimes it's a mental thing where I need

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Speaker 1: to be in that space that I'm ready to do it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not always there. So that's when a relationship

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Speaker 1: comes in handy, whether it's with your spouse or whether

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Speaker 1: it's with your trainer or it's with you know, a

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Speaker 1: workout partner. What do you have like being able to

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Speaker 1: then say, all right, I need this person to help

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Speaker 1: me motivate, or have an accountability partner. You're my accountability

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Speaker 1: partner partner a lot of the times, and sometimes that

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Speaker 1: will cause some unrest within the household because in that

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Speaker 1: particular moment in time, I just may not be in

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Speaker 1: the mood for it. So it's just it's a matter

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Speaker 1: of me hearing something I don't want to hear, but

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Speaker 1: I know it's necessary. I get it's frustrated for you.

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Speaker 1: I understand that there's gonna be some frustration on both ends.

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Speaker 1: I know you frustration. You just had a baby, you

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Speaker 1: still breastfeeding, you have sleep deprivation. So I get it.

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Speaker 1: There's gonna be frustration on your side. So I have

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Speaker 1: to take something like having to rebuild your body all

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Speaker 1: over again, like losing all core strength, you know. And

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Speaker 1: I think the most frustrating time for me was having

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Speaker 1: the two back to back babies, like no recovery. I

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Speaker 1: was just starting to get on my feet after Cairo,

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Speaker 1: and then it's like bam, he's six months. I was

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Speaker 1: only three months into working in I had lost a

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Speaker 1: ton of weight and it's like, oh, it's just pregnant again.

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Speaker 1: It's like, well, what the hell, I might as well

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Speaker 1: just sit back and wait till this pregnancy is over.

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Speaker 1: So I get it. I get it. Your heart's in

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Speaker 1: the right place a lot of the times, but it's

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Speaker 1: just a it's an internal thing. And after that's like

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Speaker 1: too a lot of times, women or men, regardless of

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Speaker 1: who it is, you cannot work out for somebody else.

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Speaker 1: You can't do it for anybody else. You have to

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Speaker 1: do it for yourself. So when sometimes you look at

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Speaker 1: me and you're just like, you know, I would love

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Speaker 1: for you to get back to the way you used

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Speaker 1: to be, and I would love for you to look

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Speaker 1: this way and feel good about yourself, I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: get it, thank you for the motivation, but I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: have to do it myself. Like, this is an internal thing.

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Speaker 1: It's a mean thing. It's not a youth thing. I

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Speaker 1: get that, But do you do understand that at the

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Speaker 1: same time, it's a you thing. You put all that

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Speaker 1: on me, And this is what my suitcase like here,

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Speaker 1: And this is what I think women need to realize

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Speaker 1: that men go through right. We love you, guys. It's

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Speaker 1: hard for us to watch you be in pain and

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Speaker 1: not be happy. So when you're constantly unloading on us

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Speaker 1: the issues you have with yourself, it's not easy for

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Speaker 1: us to just take that and just let it roll

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Speaker 1: off our back and be like, hey, did she just

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Speaker 1: being her? We want to help, And I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of women say you can't solve my problems, you

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Speaker 1: can't save me. I gotta do it myself. I get that,

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Speaker 1: but you're constantly unloading on me, So how am I

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Speaker 1: supposed to get it? It can be I'm telling you,

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Speaker 1: there's no pen It is annoying when you wake up

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Speaker 1: in the morning and and the first thing your wife does, Beau,

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Speaker 1: you do the every morning you wake up in the morning,

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Speaker 1: you look in the mir and you go and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh gosh, here it comes, here it comes, And She's

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Speaker 1: just like, that's right here, look at this. What am

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Speaker 1: I supposed to do about this? I didn't realize that,

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Speaker 1: but I literally do wake up because our dresser is

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Speaker 1: situated right in front of the bed, So I literally

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Speaker 1: wake up every morning and I'm like, or I'll wake

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Speaker 1: up in the morning after We could go hard in

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Speaker 1: the gym and be like, baby, see the difference. We

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Speaker 1: no bullshit, this is dead ass. Could do five sit ups.

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Speaker 1: Come out the shower, baby, Look at my two top amps.

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Speaker 1: Look at my two see my two times, and I'll

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Speaker 1: be I'll be lying like I see you'll cover your too.

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Speaker 1: Top apps always been there, they don't go nowhere. It's

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Speaker 1: only the lower party of ads that have an issue.

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Speaker 1: And that's what most women struggle with. I said, you

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Speaker 1: have the issue I do. Don't bring that this way.

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Speaker 1: Don't don't do the unload on me. Right, This is

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Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. This is what I'm talking about,

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Speaker 1: just making sure I don't have I don't have no

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Speaker 1: issue with your lower abs. Your lower abs are perfect.

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Speaker 1: You're liar, the best lower as I ever seen in

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Speaker 1: my life. Just told everything would be great. Paid. You

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Speaker 1: just have to target just right there. That's just target

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Speaker 1: right that little lower ab area. All I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: do is I've only housed three children there. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to agree with you. There's still there's still a little

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Speaker 1: bit of boxes, like do y'all see what I go through?

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Speaker 1: This is everything. I can't even agree with her. How

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Speaker 1: these children can't even agree with her on what her

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Speaker 1: body is going through without getting destroyed. And that's what's

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Speaker 1: the funny. This is what happens with couples because women

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Speaker 1: are frustrated this a lot of them could because a

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Speaker 1: lot of men asked me. A lot of men say

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Speaker 1: to me all the time, like, Yo, my girl is

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Speaker 1: always saying she don't got nothing to where, she don't

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Speaker 1: like the way she looks, and she needs help, and

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Speaker 1: when I try to help her, she gets upset at

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Speaker 1: me for helping her. Sometimes I just tell dudes like, yo,

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Speaker 1: just live with the fact that your wife is gonna

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Speaker 1: unload on you or your girl's gonna unload on you.

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Speaker 1: You can't fix it. But that's just the frustrating part.

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Speaker 1: And Dolo will tell you, I've sat in the car

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Speaker 1: and watched you just be in my ear and just

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Speaker 1: and just be like, you know what, I'm gonna take it.

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Speaker 1: But then I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna just sit in the office for twenty minutes and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak to Dolo about it before I get

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Speaker 1: my workout in. But you need to understand two, and

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Speaker 1: a lot of women need to understand too. Men go

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Speaker 1: through that for nine months before you even have the baby,

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Speaker 1: because bat came from you. That My back fat definitely

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Speaker 1: came from stress. All that fat. You unloaded stress game,

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Speaker 1: and I got back fat. Now, guys got back fat.

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Speaker 1: Now it's because I used to go to sleep. I

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Speaker 1: used to eat oreoles and drink run before I went

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Speaker 1: to sleep, just so that I could just kind of

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Speaker 1: be calm a little bit. But you know what I

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Speaker 1: want to do. What I want to bring Dolo in,

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Speaker 1: I think because he has tons of clients, hundreds of mints,

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Speaker 1: and I know he has some stories from couples because

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Speaker 1: I've seen him train couples. If you trained single women

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Speaker 1: he's training. I think he has a very extensive repertoire

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Speaker 1: people that he's trained and stuff like that. So I'm

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Speaker 1: sure he's heard it. And you know what, It's funny

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Speaker 1: gym sessions or workout training sessions become like therapy sessions.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure people have unloaded a ton of stuff. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk to Doyan Dolo rants. He is a writer

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Speaker 1: and entrepreneur based right here in Brooklyn, New York, and

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Speaker 1: as the owner and founder of Dola's Fitness and Prototype

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Speaker 1: Sports Performance Lab, Strength and conditioning program. He spends a

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Speaker 1: ton of time thinking about fitness questions we've been talking

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Speaker 1: about today, and his book Life Fitness Success, Why Not

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Speaker 1: You tackles principles that we all can use in achieving

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Speaker 1: not just our Instagram fit Spo goals, but our overall

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Speaker 1: life goals. Dola, what's going on? Bro? What's up? What

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Speaker 1: are you a little bit? He ran a mathon right?

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Speaker 1: Yes he did. Oh my goodness, yes, New York City.

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Speaker 1: Can't remember. You can't really forget that date. I can't

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Speaker 1: forget it New York City. I have to tell you

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Speaker 1: all that that was such an emotional experience for everyone,

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Speaker 1: Like I didn't realize how intense that would have been.

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Speaker 1: Like it's like we knew you were training for it

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Speaker 1: and everything, but then for a whole year and then

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Speaker 1: of course, you know, a lot of your friends and

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Speaker 1: family wanted to go out and to support you along

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Speaker 1: the way. So everyone had like a group chat where

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Speaker 1: we were like, Okay, I'm going to be at this

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Speaker 1: male marker and I'm gonna be at this male marker.

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Speaker 1: So my mom, my sister, and I and and Cairo

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Speaker 1: who's um doll those godson as well. We went to

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Speaker 1: one of the mile markers to see him, and it

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Speaker 1: was such an adrenaline and and like it was just

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Speaker 1: so emotional to see him actually doing this, something that

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Speaker 1: he set out to do, that you worked so hard

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Speaker 1: to do that. We were literally in tears, like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, we're so proud of you that you want

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Speaker 1: to work out. So it didn't work, he was able

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Speaker 1: to conquer that. Can you tell I set out to

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Speaker 1: run it, honestly because doing what I do, I excuse seven,

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Speaker 1: I can't do this, I can't do that. I can't

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Speaker 1: do this. At the end of the day, I said,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna do something I don't like doing.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna run forever, forever. So I trained, I trained,

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Speaker 1: that trained, and I bust my ass and I said,

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Speaker 1: if I could run a marathon, you could do a

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Speaker 1: push up. Stop complaining stuff, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: It's like, at the end of the day, most people,

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Speaker 1: they kind of work out is for thirty minutes, one hour,

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Speaker 1: maybe an hour and a half. Try running for four

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Speaker 1: and a half hours, you know. You know. I tried

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Speaker 1: to tell that took a dem on time for workout.

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Speaker 1: She's like, she don't feel up to it. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, don't in the whole marathon. You

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Speaker 1: think you stop like it for four hours, but you

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Speaker 1: know he kept running. You know what she said to me?

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Speaker 1: Do I look like I give a ship with cane?

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Speaker 1: So I have a question for you, don't know. We're

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Speaker 1: in this age of technology, right fat diets um. Everybody's

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Speaker 1: Instagram trainer, everywhere, everyone's an Instagram model, these bodies, yes,

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Speaker 1: a lot of women in particular, some men asked me,

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Speaker 1: the things you see on Instagram? Are they realistic goals?

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Speaker 1: It's promotion. A lot of times you got these companies

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Speaker 1: they go they latch onto a influencer or someone that

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Speaker 1: already looks good and they say, hey, we'll give you,

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Speaker 1: We'll give you this, We'll give you this if you

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Speaker 1: smile and hold our tea up right, And then they

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Speaker 1: show you a couple of clips of them working out

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Speaker 1: when the body ready looked like that. But the fact

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Speaker 1: of the matter is when a million people like you

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Speaker 1: and like what you do and say, oh, how many

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Speaker 1: women are gonna buy that sex? You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: It's just based off the perception of who may look

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Speaker 1: like what someone else wants to look like, and automatically,

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Speaker 1: they want everything around them. What what made you look

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Speaker 1: like that? What can help me? I want to try it?

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Speaker 1: At least try it. So if people, if a million people,

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Speaker 1: least try a product that's bread. So do you think

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Speaker 1: do you get a lot of people who say I

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Speaker 1: want to look like this? Yes, I said, I say,

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Speaker 1: don't show me any pictures of anyone else. You're yourself.

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Speaker 1: You ain't nobody else. At the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: you are made the way you're made. You can't look

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Speaker 1: like Susie Q or Jane Doe because at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day you're you will look like yourself and

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be struggling to look like this woman and

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Speaker 1: that woman or that guy and this man. And that's

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Speaker 1: never gonna happen. Do you get men who say I

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Speaker 1: want to look like this too? Yes? How many of

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Speaker 1: them say they want to look like me? None? Yet?

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Speaker 1: Then maybe shots And here's a funny thing. I can't

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Speaker 1: shoot back. You can't. I can't. I got to take that.

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Speaker 1: It's funny though, because usually man, you figure you know,

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Speaker 1: because if ego may not say, you know, do I

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Speaker 1: want to look like this guy or that guy? So

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Speaker 1: how do you break down those ego walls for people

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Speaker 1: who feel like, you know what, I'm going to come

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Speaker 1: in here and do X y Z, But no, this

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Speaker 1: is what I'm gonna have you do. UM. When when

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Speaker 1: that happens, I always say, you reached out because you

426
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 1: need help. If you didn't need help, you'd just be

427
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 1: winning it by yourself. So if you need help, take

428
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,240
Speaker 1: the help and understand what we're trying to do as

429
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 1: a team and build together. Because I mean, it's most

430
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 1: most of the time I have probably women clients. Women

431
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 1: don't have egos. They want just like you said, I

432
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 1: want to get this done. I want to get help.

433
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 1: I need help. Men don't feel that way. Do those

434
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: women listen to their significant others. No, they listen to me,

435
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 1: So that's not so. So No, this is important to

436
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 1: talk about because the same same we talked about, this

437
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 1: same thing, I feel like, just don't listen to me.

438
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 1: It's just it's it's come from that professional aspect that

439
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,159
Speaker 1: if if a husband of boyfriend says it to their spouse,

440
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 1: it'll seem like nitpicking. It'll seem like you're just poking

441
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 1: out of poking out of poken at. But when they

442
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 1: listen to someone that has kind of no emotional ties.

443
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 1: It's the truth, you know what I mean. So it's okay,

444
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 1: listens to me say it's like if the vows says it,

445
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 1: it's like always trying to mess with me. That's that's

446
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 1: the mindset he's gonna happen. But you know what happens

447
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,400
Speaker 1: with with a lot of men though right no one

448
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:03,640
Speaker 1: wants to send their woman into a gym to take

449
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,919
Speaker 1: advice from a dude that's ripped up, big strong. They

450
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 1: have that intimate hour together. It's intimidating for a lot

451
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,399
Speaker 1: of men, as much as they don't want to admit it.

452
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: It's intimidating for men to say, my girlfriend, my wife,

453
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,160
Speaker 1: the mother of my child goes to a trainer. It's

454
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 1: it's intimidating. And I've had that conversation many times. You

455
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 1: know what I say. In the first meeting, I say,

456
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: bring your boyfriend the husband in here. Let's tell me.

457
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,239
Speaker 1: I don't mind that because at the end of the day,

458
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: I'm helping you, bro, I'm taking a young girl up,

459
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: I'm getting her ready for you to kins of whatever

460
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: you want to do. But I'm helping you. And that's

461
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 1: so once you put that out there to them and

462
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 1: they start understanding it and it's like, no one's no

463
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 1: one's pushing up on your girl. Man. It's like, at

464
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you're paying for it, So

465
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 1: keep paying, bro and do is about his money, but

466
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 1: there is about is about his money. So he will

467
00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 1: not mixing business with pleasure because this is this is

468
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: a very true true story. When Dolo, when I first

469
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 1: started my first retired Dolo got out of college. We

470
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: decided to we want to partner together. We were both

471
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: in Gershman Park in Brooklyn, training people in the park,

472
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: and at this point it wasn't about making money, It's

473
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 1: about building the name. Dolo was training people for ten dollars.

474
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 1: I was paying for my guys to go to the gym,

475
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,159
Speaker 1: but we were training for free pretty much because our

476
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 1: time was worth much more than that. When we decided

477
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: we were going to work together, the one thing Dolo

478
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:28,959
Speaker 1: and I and my brother Brian all said was, yo,

479
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,359
Speaker 1: we will not cross the line with any clients, because

480
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: if you cross that line with clients, that becomes who

481
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 1: you are. Don't send you know, don't send your child

482
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: to him because he sleeps with the moms. Don't send

483
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: your girl to him because he sleeps with people's girls.

484
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 1: We've always said that, you know, We've always said and

485
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: and Dolo was a single guy and we're going to

486
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: the gym, you see a woman, nice body, and our

487
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 1: friends will be like your dough boy. I know he'd

488
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: be like, yo, no, I don't do that. And there's

489
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of trainers I know who

490
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 1: have the same type of mantra because this is their business,

491
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: this is their livelihood. And I think it's important for

492
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 1: men to know that, you know, there are trainers out there,

493
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 1: and there are people are here who are really about

494
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 1: their business and just not looking for a match, you know,

495
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: just a quick match so they can hit it. So

496
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 1: I think it's a point for men to know you

497
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 1: can trust some guys, you know, had that interview, find

498
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: out what they're about. And I'm talking about because that

499
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 1: that kills your business. And this with a business, like

500
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: a personal business like that, everything is based on referrals.

501
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: So if I deal with one girl and then things happen,

502
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: she's not referring me because now essentially she's gonna think

503
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: going to do the same thing with her friend, So

504
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: why would she put me on her friend? So now

505
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: that one person probably killed probably thousands of dollars in

506
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: the future off that referral smart we don't touch that.

507
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: So when it comes to the getting in the gym

508
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 1: with somebody, they first come to you, what's the process

509
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: like for them? Do you set some sort of gold

510
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: meal plan? Like how do you how do your packages

511
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: and things work? Um, you know, not for herself per se,

512
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 1: but we just want to know, like, what's the process

513
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: like if someone has a goal to reach Because some

514
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 1: people don't know anything about person, people come in, people

515
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,919
Speaker 1: have all types of goals, you know what I mean.

516
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 1: It's like people come in on March first and said

517
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: it was thirty pounds by March fifteen. I say, no,

518
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: we can't do that, you know what I mean. But

519
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, They'll come up with lofty goals.

520
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 1: If I want to lose a hundred pounds in this

521
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 1: amount of times, I said the first thing, I say,

522
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: what are you doing personally to achieve any of that?

523
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,719
Speaker 1: And they say nothing. Okay, So you want to lose

524
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: that much weight, you have to be doing at least

525
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 1: something some kind of goal setting. How do we get

526
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: to a hundred pounds? I want to lose five pounds

527
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 1: this week. I don't lose ten pounds this week. You

528
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 1: can't get to that big goal without setting small goals.

529
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: So we'll discuss those type of goals. Moving along. UM,

530
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 1: As a client comes in, we'll go through an assessment.

531
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 1: I'll assess their body, you know, all the all the particulars,

532
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: weight measurements, UM, everything like that for this right. Yeah.

533
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: I have degrees in sports, nutrition, fitness management, and kinesiology.

534
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 1: That's another thing. Everybody who calls themselves a trainer, they're

535
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: going and taking a twenty minute tests of course two

536
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: d No. I used to the busy and took all

537
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 1: these classes and all these internships, and essentially I didn't

538
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: want to be a trainer, you know what I mean.

539
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: I I should be in some like orthopedic clinic with

540
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 1: a white smock, but that is boring to me. I

541
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 1: came out of school and I said, why do I

542
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: want to work in a facility where people are coming

543
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: to me towards after their hurt or towards the back

544
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: end of their existence. That ship is depressed as hell.

545
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 1: So I said, how can I use my knowledge to

546
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 1: help people so they don't have to be in that position?

547
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: Let me just, Yeah, I said, let me just. I'm

548
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: gonna be in a gym anyway. I get to wear

549
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: shorts and sweats every day, sneakers, sandals, be comfortable, and

550
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: it's it's a helping thing. I don't want to be

551
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: the last resort to pick people off the floor because

552
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 1: they have issues after the fact. It's funny you bring

553
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 1: that up because this literally just triggered a small story

554
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: in me. Um with Dolo, super personal story. UM, I

555
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 1: don't know how many people know, but my mom suffered

556
00:25:56,520 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 1: from a heart attack. Um. This was four years ago. Um,

557
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 1: pretty fit woman. She's been working out with Dola for

558
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 1: a while. You know, doesn't eat badly. I would say

559
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 1: part of it who she wasn't eating maybe maybe once

560
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:16,159
Speaker 1: again that she wasn't eating well. A lot of stress,

561
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: like a very high stress job as a director of

562
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 1: nursing at a nursing home. And Dola was working out

563
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: with my mom one morning and she didn't feel so well. Um,

564
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 1: can you recall, like what it happens in that circumstance.

565
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: I mean it was she usually comes in bubbly every

566
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 1: you know, every time, well she comes in she said,

567
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 1: all right, let me get on an elliptical, let me

568
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: loosen up. This time she didn't get loose, and it

569
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 1: was noticeable. We couldn't really do much. And I've seen it.

570
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 1: I've seen her eyes looking glaze like I said, We're

571
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 1: just gonna sit down waiting for a little bit to

572
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 1: let her catch her breath. UM. Took a UM, put

573
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 1: out fingers on the pulse. Took a pulse real quick.

574
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 1: It wasn't crazy, it wasn't rapid, you know what I mean.

575
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 1: That's why these these things like strokes in the heart,

576
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 1: attacks and blood pressure, these are silent killers that we

577
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: may never know, you know, I mean, these things could

578
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: happen to anybody at any age, but you could obviously

579
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 1: tell that something was wrong because within that things are

580
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 1: clogged inside. You can't see inside the body. So with that,

581
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: we just sat down. I monitored her, make sure she

582
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 1: was all right. Said she was good. We worked that

583
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 1: she's good. We stayed a whole extra half an hour.

584
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 1: Seemed fine. Soon as she got home, same thing. Tristan

585
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: Tristan and Tristan Tristan's working the nurse and feel as well.

586
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 1: So he's seen the same signs I've seen. Went to

587
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 1: the hospital after that, Remember that morning, you know you

588
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 1: had called me. Dollo called me and said, YO, check

589
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: on miss j because she didn't look good. And my

590
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: mom called me and she said I didn't feel so hot.

591
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 1: You know, I threw up after the workout. So at

592
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: first I was just like, oh, Dolo trains, you're really hard,

593
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, I actually couldn't get through the workout.

594
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 1: And she said I'm actually gonna take the day. And

595
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 1: my mother never takes a day from work, so when

596
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 1: she said she was taking a day, I was like, oh,

597
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 1: something's not right. It's all was more raised Jamaica, so

598
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 1: he knows um but sank god is you know, It's

599
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: amazing how things work out. My brother just happened to

600
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: be home for work that day and saw my mom

601
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 1: and says she didn't look good. And of course, being

602
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 1: the nurse you know, who never wants to diagnose themselves,

603
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 1: she's like, I'll be fine, I'll take a nap. She

604
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 1: went to take a nap, and my brother was like, no, Mom,

605
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: I think we should go to the e er. Had

606
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 1: my brother not done that, and had Dolo not made

607
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: the phone calls to us to check on her, the

608
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,920
Speaker 1: doctor literally said my mother would have gone to bed

609
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: and not woken up percentage she had to. Then she

610
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: was clogged, like in different arteries. One was two of

611
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: them were clogged. She had to end up getting sense

612
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: put in like what an emotional situation that was and

613
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: what triggered that was her exercising and working out with Dolo.

614
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: He was the first person to see that something was wrong.

615
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: So when you talk about people not being UM certified

616
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: or not being equipped to train or ware of signs like,

617
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: that's super super importantly. And this brings us to a

618
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 1: bigger topic which I wanted to discuss with you today

619
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: is the Black community, what we eat, how we work,

620
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: and not taking care of ourselves and saying that things

621
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: run in the family or things are generational, and are

622
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: those things really The first thing is your mom had

623
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: a woman she hired forty two just recently, was sitting

624
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: at work at her desk and died at her desk.

625
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: Two children. Correct, And this happens too often. We've seen

626
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: it at Prototype. We have a lot of young kids

627
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: who are parents in their thirties and forties, running to

628
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: catch the bus, running to get on the train. Sat

629
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 1: we fiel while I'm gonna go home go to take

630
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: a nap and don't wake up. And this is why

631
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: when Dolo spoke to me about why he wanted to

632
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 1: do fitness, I feel like we had to have Dolan

633
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: one to show because Dolo said it, it's all about preventative.

634
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to get people after the fact. And

635
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 1: in our community, we don't take care of ourselves. We

636
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: don't go to the doctor. And what people don't understand

637
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 1: is that of the world's diseases can be killed with water.

638
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: Playing something and can you talk about some of the

639
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 1: biggest misconceptions about fitness that people are worried about and

640
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: how some of the things you do can help people

641
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: stay healthy. The biggest world, the biggest thing about just fitness,

642
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: period is when people feel People feel like I'm only

643
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,959
Speaker 1: gonna work out one day. How does that help? Well?

644
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: That one day returns into two days. The hardest part

645
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: of doing anything fit is starting. So once you start,

646
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: you trigger that snowball effect to keep going. Working out,

647
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: even thirty minutes a day of just moderate exercise, just

648
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: break a sweat, you're increasing your heart I mean, increasing

649
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: your lifespan by at least seven years men and women.

650
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: Simple things like even walking taking the stairs instead of

651
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: the escalators. Little things like cutting back on, cutting back

652
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: on the extra sugars. Different things like that. Um, oh gosh,

653
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: I eat so much sugar. You know we just started

654
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: do got me me on the diet diet right now,

655
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to cut sugar on the nine week diet.

656
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: He got a ship, right, man. Do you see when

657
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: I see a lot of people who have health issues

658
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: when they come to you. Yes, young people, young not

659
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: not much young people. Asthma. I want to say, asthma

660
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: is the biggest thing with younger people because and a

661
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: lot of them they're not super out of shape. It's

662
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 1: it's internal. They just they think they're slim or they're

663
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: not on the cusp of being overweight or obese, so

664
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: they think they're fine. But then they end up. I

665
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: don't had to run up the stairs and I couldn't breathe. Yeah,

666
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: you already are probably clogging up. You need to work out,

667
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 1: you needs What do you eat today? I had um, bacon,

668
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: egged cheese and home fries. Okay, don't do that again.

669
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: Wore to work out before the first day of working out,

670
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,719
Speaker 1: So it comes down to a first off a dieting thing,

671
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: not even diet, but a better eating plan life. That's

672
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 1: an amazing thing. People feel like if they're not overweight,

673
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 1: they're health exactly, and that's what you're saying. Those are

674
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: the people that don't go to the doctor because they

675
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: feel like they're fine. Your father, my father is not

676
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: in shape. My father's shape. He does, you know, he

677
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: goes to the doctor and the doctor will get blood

678
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 1: work done and the doctor said, you're okay, and my

679
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: father see, I'm good, broke, I got blood work done.

680
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: When my father knows he should move. We talked about

681
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: a the time my father had a scare as well

682
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: where his his uh I think it was his cholesterol

683
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: was very high and he was having issues with his

684
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: left arm issues and left arms with blood pressure was high,

685
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,959
Speaker 1: and me, being the person I am, was like, yeo,

686
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: we're going to the hospital after especially with your mom.

687
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: I didn't want to wait. But it's just it kills

688
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: me that we don't take care of ourselves. And fitness

689
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 1: has become this aesthetic thing where I just want to

690
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: get in shape to take pictures on Instagram. We're realistically,

691
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: fitness should be more about health. It's about wellness. I

692
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: think that's who where surgeries come into play. When women

693
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: are going to get you know, these different surgeries done

694
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: or whatever, and there's no shade to them doing surgery.

695
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 1: That's what's foultry boat. That's great, but also to thinking

696
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: about heart health, like you're not going to get the

697
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: benefits of that by just aesthetically fixing your body on

698
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: the outside, you know. And I look at the different

699
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 1: things that people say, you know, when you go to

700
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: the doctor's office and you have to check off your history,

701
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: so it's like who in your family has diabetes and

702
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 1: high cholesterol and heart disease, and that's that. And I

703
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: noticed I'm checking off a whole lot of boxes. And yeah,

704
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: and we've been thinking about deval and I at least

705
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: how within our household we can now change that, you guys,

706
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: are you guys change that we have hereditary and go

707
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 1: down family lines. But then it's that one generation that says,

708
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to create the new lifestyle

709
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: for my kids and my kids kids. Absolutely, if you guys,

710
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 1: you know anyone keeps that going like, uh, my my

711
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: mom had have blood pressure. Oh well no, which is

712
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: sometimes too like my family, if I don't want the

713
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: kids to eat a certain thing or you know, not

714
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: to do certain things with eating. They look at me like,

715
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 1: well you didn't, you were fine, and I'm like, yeah,

716
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: that's the problem though, the problem is that just because

717
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: it worked for the generations before, it clearly didn't work

718
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 1: so well because it didn't work well because everyone's having

719
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 1: heart issues. So if I said I don't want my

720
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: children to eat this, or I don't want them having sugar,

721
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 1: I don't want them eating fast food. There's a reason why.

722
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: Because we're trying to change the narrative now when it

723
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: comes to fitness and it comes to health, like we

724
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: should be the generation to be able to change that.

725
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: So I think that's by being equipped with the knowledge

726
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: to be able to do it, learning about different things.

727
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: There's so many different food sources now that we're learning,

728
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: you know, have all sorts of things contaminating it. So

729
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: it's really working on that. We we are the generation

730
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 1: and change. But it's it's a catch twenty two. It's

731
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 1: like we'll have so many new vegan stores open up,

732
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 1: we have so many new healthy stores open up, and

733
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: you have the calorie council and everything, but then you'll

734
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 1: have the calorie council McDonald's board, and we can see

735
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: it's as calories. We're still gonna buy that triple quarter

736
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 1: pound that would actually making an extra max sauce. I'm

737
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,439
Speaker 1: not gonna Sometimes I just drop about McDonald's and I'm like, damn,

738
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: that big mac look good and I'm like, what calories?

739
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:46,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do a hundred? I do that. But here's

740
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: my thing though, with all of these fad diets, right,

741
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: what do you tell people? How do you how do

742
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: you maintain a healthy lifestyle with they're telling the throwing

743
00:34:54,680 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 1: a keto, they're throwing veganism, Pscterian flexitarian. Uh, Like, there's

744
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: so many because every other week, every other week, it's

745
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 1: like I want to try something, you want to try

746
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: something new. You know. I will answer that question first,

747
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 1: and then when that comes to that, it starts with

748
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: portion control. Because you can't cold turkey get someone off

749
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:13,839
Speaker 1: the things they love. You know what I mean. If

750
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,320
Speaker 1: you're a Caribbean family and you are used to curreyk

751
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: chicken and rice and peas, and I'm not gonna tell

752
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: you don't eat it, all right, the first step is

753
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: to limit it, break your portions down little by little,

754
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 1: so now you have your So you got your curreyk

755
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 1: chicken and your rice, and piece this down the third

756
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 1: all right, you take that full portion, you break that

757
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 1: down a half. So whatever you make or whatever your

758
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: mom makes something, all right, you can start with that

759
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 1: within the first week two weeks. You have to wean

760
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 1: yourself off like like any addiction. You know what I mean,

761
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 1: with yourself, because food is an addiction. So you break

762
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: that down a half, a little by little. Right now,

763
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: breaking in my half, you're um constricting your stomach. Your

764
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,760
Speaker 1: stomach starts to get smaller. You eat smaller meals throughout

765
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 1: the day from that's from those small portions now. So

766
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: now as you start to get used to the small portions,

767
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 1: now you substitute, get a better rice in there, get

768
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 1: a better carbohydrate source in there. So now I'm eating.

769
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. You have

770
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 1: to try to get used to it, one system consistent.

771
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: Once you get used to it, it becomes nothing becomes easy.

772
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: This is to be clear too, because you are not

773
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: talking about doing the key though. Um, I have a

774
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: show that I'm doing and I want to get trim.

775
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: So when you see some of these diets. It's for

776
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: a purpose. It's like a woman wanted to do a

777
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: photo shoot, a man want to do a photo shoot.

778
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: You want to lean out for that. Diets are made

779
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: for a short amount of time, for short term goals.

780
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: It's not for lifestyle. So like, you can't just do

781
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 1: the keyto diet for your whole life. No, you'll die,

782
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: you die, you will fall apart, You'll die. Because I

783
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 1: was saying that to Kay, I said, we're looking at

784
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 1: this last night, right, and she was like, this is

785
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 1: having a sugar with jaw. He's like, even make sense.

786
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: And I saw a bacon cheese burger with pepperoni on

787
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: a lettuce bread, and I said, I can just eat that,

788
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: but I can't eat the break exactly. This is the

789
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: best diet ever. And then I started to think about it,

790
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 1: like that much cholesterol and sodium would kill me over

791
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: time if that became my primary diet, right, especially trying

792
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: to give a baking in the house. If I was like, well,

793
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: now we keep baking again. I was trying to give

794
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: up bacon altogether, but now that'sunds like, oh, I keep

795
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 1: baking again bacon. And it's hard in a household sometimes

796
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,439
Speaker 1: too because I don't want to necessarily do this diet

797
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,839
Speaker 1: where I'm eating all this met because I was trying

798
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 1: to get away from meat. So it was like within

799
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: the house, no lord, here he go, don't you get

800
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: back to get back to your story right, Well, the

801
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: limited amounts of meat that I have been eating, Okay,

802
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: it's hard sometimes within the house. And then I have

803
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:49,399
Speaker 1: my children, do you know what I mean, who all

804
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: eat different things. So sometimes that in itself is just stressful.

805
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: So I understand people who have the challenge sometimes of

806
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: trying to make sure within a household at least that

807
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: everybody's taken care of and what ever it is. But

808
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: like you said, it's a short term term. It's because

809
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,959
Speaker 1: I mean, even with stuff like that, it's it takes

810
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 1: a drastic amount of carbohydrates out your diet that you

811
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 1: actually need, you needed for your consistent energy because that's

812
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: what actually keeps you moving throughout the day. So when

813
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 1: you take all these carbohydrates, you gotta you gotta eat

814
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 1: about five teen percent per day. Everything else is fat

815
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: and protein, you know what I mean. So when you

816
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: take those carbs out your your your body is using

817
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: that fat to kind of fuel you. But it's essentially

818
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: that's good for a certain amount of time because you're

819
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: burning all that fat. So you end up losing so

820
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: much weight because you're not putting these these are these

821
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 1: are carbohydrates in your body, all the starchy carbs, your pasta,

822
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 1: your potato, your bread, and things like that. So it

823
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: works for a month you want to lose weight, I'm

824
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: telling you it'll work. It'll work thirty sixty days, great,

825
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 1: But then you do that for a year, you're going

826
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 1: to be in the hospital bed. So the question is

827
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 1: in that thirty sixty days, am I gonna lose my

828
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: boot because I'm not trying to lose the boy because

829
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: he's gonna be in the gym working. Okay, So if

830
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 1: I'm simultaneously, you know, lifting weights, I'm talking to do

831
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 1: don't look this way like you. As long as I'm

832
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 1: lifting my weights, doing my squats like I've been getting low,

833
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: then I don't have to worry about losing my booty meat.

834
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: You keep you keep that consistent, keep the consistent workouts,

835
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: and do certain modifications um as in like you know,

836
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 1: um increasing the weight so you're actually building instead of

837
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 1: losing all that whatever fat you got around your waistline

838
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 1: and all that that starts to go right and then

839
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,279
Speaker 1: the booty. Because I'm speaking from a woman's perspective, but

840
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 1: so many times just having conversations with women, they'll be like,

841
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: I like, I want to keep my sighs, I want

842
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: to keep my but I just want to lose my stomach.

843
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 1: I think I hear that so much whenever. Yeah, I

844
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,320
Speaker 1: just want to lose my stomach. Here that you say that,

845
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 1: you say that, do you not say that? Do? Like

846
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:54,280
Speaker 1: I said, I'm trying to. I'm just trying if people

847
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: say that, like, what's the best way to do that?

848
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: Because Devo has told me, and I'll give you your

849
00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 1: props here. You need to run, you need to train,

850
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 1: can act that. You need to do sprints, high intensity things, jumps,

851
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,800
Speaker 1: explosive movements. That way you can in the bottom. Definitely,

852
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: girls who want to just lose the stomach. Along with diet,

853
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: what else should it be doing? Well? Diet is number

854
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 1: one because as any one of us men are female.

855
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 1: When we eat food and all our food gets stored.

856
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: Men we get in the front, we get the beer belly.

857
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,360
Speaker 1: Women you get him in the side, you get the

858
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 1: little muffin tops. All right, so diet is number one.

859
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 1: So with that being said, same thing like the bell said,

860
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: it goes from high intensity to workouts. Short bursts of workouts,

861
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: not like running and jogging for an hour forty five minutes,

862
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 1: quick quick spurts of five minutes, seven minutes boom, take

863
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 1: a quick arrest five seven minutes, take a quick arrest

864
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: like short sprints like quick quick um hit workers, high

865
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: intensity interfo training, um, things like that. That's gonna help

866
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,760
Speaker 1: you burn all the fat. And with that you focus

867
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:51,399
Speaker 1: on sims um specific workouts for your core, not even

868
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: sit ups and crunches, core work like you know what

869
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 1: I mean, like kettle bell swings or there's a million

870
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 1: I could say, right, um, but core workouts that's going

871
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: to get that stomach down in stomach flat keep and

872
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: oh it's important for people to know too. Dolo and

873
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 1: myself have both trained women through pregnancies. It is important.

874
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: And let me be and me be clear. If you

875
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,280
Speaker 1: haven't been working out, you do not choose to start

876
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: working out after you get pregnant. This is only two

877
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: women who've been working out and then are pregnant. And

878
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 1: I'll give you a perfect example. Serena Williams I was,

879
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: of course, of course he was getting I was starting

880
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: with Serena and I was going to go up a

881
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: level to you. I didn't want to go straight to

882
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 1: you because I had to give them a realistic go

883
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 1: they can achieve first, and then you You see what

884
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It you love it, I love it too, baby.

885
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,280
Speaker 1: If you like it, I love it. So. Serena Williams

886
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 1: was an elite athlete. Most people feel like once you

887
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,399
Speaker 1: get pregnant, you gotta stop moving to protect the baby.

888
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 1: She was still competing in live events while pregnant. I

889
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,879
Speaker 1: didn't know she was pregnant. The baby came out perfectly fine.

890
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: It's the same thing for women who work out. Just

891
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 1: because you get pregnant. You don't have to stop listen

892
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,800
Speaker 1: to your physician. If the baby is good, you continue

893
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: with your workouts as normal. We've trained plenty of women

894
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 1: who have gone through pregnancy. It's also helped with delivery.

895
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 1: It has because Cadine has trained through her pregnancy. She's

896
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 1: trained with DOLO, she's trained with myself when she felled

897
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 1: up through it, and the deliveries have been great, and

898
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 1: it's helped for speedy. It's helped to kind of you know,

899
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: bounce back when she was ready to start. So continue

900
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: to train while you're pregnant, absolutely, and that's so important. Yeah,

901
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: as long as you're and the whole eating for two

902
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: things like that. That didn't really affect man or you

903
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,839
Speaker 1: were joking about it in the beginning, but I mean

904
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: I was eating normally and I was still active, and

905
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: it just helped me feel better in general, because at

906
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 1: that point when you're pregnant, especially towards the end, you

907
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,840
Speaker 1: feel a key everywhere. It's like nothing feels good. But

908
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,399
Speaker 1: it actually felt better for me to be working out

909
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 1: within moderation and you modify things and stuff. Um, but yeah,

910
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 1: that's a good point. Does The release is good endorphins

911
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: because a lot of time throughout that nine months, you'll

912
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 1: you'll feel up and down about this and that I

913
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 1: feel like I'm getting this. I'm getting that you need

914
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: to work. You need something that's going to take care

915
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,399
Speaker 1: of you personally, and working out always makes you feel better,

916
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: all right, dello. So tell me if I was to

917
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: take away three things from this about fitness, about you know,

918
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:13,320
Speaker 1: inspiration that we find with technology, nutrition, dieting, lifestyle changes.

919
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 1: What are like three things that you would say, are

920
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: the main things people can take away from this if

921
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 1: they're looking to change their lifestyle. Three things. The number

922
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: one thing. Start a lot of people that are the

923
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 1: hardest part to sit there. You contemplate, you're scrolling through Instagram,

924
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: you're looking on TV. You're wondering where to start. Get up,

925
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: that's where you start playing and simple, get up and move.

926
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 1: That's plain and simple. That's the number thing. Get up. Second,

927
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: don't follow what everyone else is doing. Work on your

928
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 1: own craft. Lick yourself in the mirror, give yourself that

929
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: specific goal. I need to work on this. I need

930
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: to build this much, I need to lose this way,

931
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: I need to do this from my health. I want

932
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 1: to run around and play with my kids. These things

933
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 1: what matters the most to you find that, put that

934
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: importance to it, and then start that process from their

935
00:43:57,160 --> 00:44:00,919
Speaker 1: third thing as that being the most important thing. Don't

936
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 1: follow the quick fix fat diets. The quick fixed fat

937
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 1: diets will only end you up gaining more weight than

938
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 1: you lost over time. That's what That's what happens. Yes, yes,

939
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: So when someone is trying to someone says, hey, I'm

940
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,320
Speaker 1: gonna do this diet and they do it for a

941
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: quick amount of time and then they kind of fall off.

942
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 1: Everything falls to the wayside. It does. It's not just

943
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,720
Speaker 1: a diet, it's also the whole fitness and workout program.

944
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: Because now the dice over, they feel like, oh I

945
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 1: lovest this, this this, I'm gonna go to Miami live

946
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: my best life. They stop everything. So it's about that

947
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: lifestyle change, about the substitution of foods and the limiting

948
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: exact insistency, limiting a portion sizes. So it's all about

949
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 1: that one day, one day together. Yeah, definitely, we're running

950
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: out of time. We really appreciate you. But before we leave,

951
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 1: we gotta tell people would find you. Brother. I gotta

952
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,319
Speaker 1: tell people would find you man. But you can hit

953
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. I met Dolos Fitness s. Definitely, we're

954
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break and get into some ads,

955
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: but we'll be right back helping to answer some of

956
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 1: these listener letters. This for the record, there it is

957
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 1: a win for the ages. Tiger Woods is one of

958
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: our most inspiring sports icons. In his story, it comes

959
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 1: with many chapters. I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible

960
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: and selfish behavior, but here it is the return to glory.

961
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,280
Speaker 1: This is all American, a new series from Stitcher hosted

962
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: by me Jordan Bell. You realized Tiger Wis doesn't know

963
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: who he is in the history of Gaul no question

964
00:45:56,239 --> 00:46:00,040
Speaker 1: in my mind. And this season, with the help of

965
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:04,800
Speaker 1: journalist Albert Chen, we're asking what if the story of

966
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 1: Tiger Woods that the media has been telling, what if

967
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: it's been completely wrong? All American Tiger is out now

968
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 1: listen and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app.

969
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: I love Dolo, that's my guy. We've known each other

970
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: since we were teenagers, played football against each other, grew

971
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 1: up in Canarsi together. So it's just dope to see

972
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,439
Speaker 1: what he's been able to do himself, which I don't

973
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: know about Dolo. Dolo was bad kid growing up. He's

974
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,320
Speaker 1: bad kids. But he's gone now he's not here to

975
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: defend himself now. That's why I said it when he left.

976
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: That's my boy. I love him and and I appreciate

977
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 1: him for coming through. So No, absolutely doing big things

978
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: and now to listen to others shows. Absolutely do we

979
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 1: say that every show. This is our favorite part of

980
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 1: the show. Think it is? It is? It really is,

981
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: And it looks like the first question is for me, Yes,

982
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,399
Speaker 1: so it's as good. How did you get back after

983
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: all your babies? First time mom here and struggling to

984
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: find myself after baby well girl six, let me tell

985
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: you there's nothing easy about getting back after a baby.

986
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: I will say that, um, and since your first time mom,

987
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: I think it's a little unique in that after my

988
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 1: second and third baby, I kind of knew what to

989
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 1: expect with my body. Though each pregnancy is different, each

990
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: labor and delivery is different, you kind of realize what

991
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: you can and can't do within a certain time frame

992
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,919
Speaker 1: after having these kids. But as a first time mom,

993
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 1: especially with Jackson, we spoke about earlier devot. I think

994
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 1: in the story time how it was after I had

995
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: Jackson and I wasn't happy with my body and the

996
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: way I looked because this is something so new to you,

997
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: Like you're used to your body looking a certain kind

998
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 1: of way. Then you grow an entire human being for

999
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 1: nine months, and then you expect yourself to just snap

1000
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: back after a couple of weeks, Like it's just not realistic.

1001
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: And as the first time mom, I feel like you

1002
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 1: should really be spending your time investing in and and

1003
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: and loving up on that baby, Like those are the

1004
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 1: best parts and it goes so fast that I would

1005
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: tell any first time mom try not to stress it

1006
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 1: as much, because you really should be taking that time

1007
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 1: to connect with your baby and bond and enjoy everything

1008
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:13,919
Speaker 1: that is motherhood, especially if you're breastfeeding. That's a whole

1009
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 1: another you know entity in itself that your body is

1010
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 1: now providing nutrients for a child. So my advice would

1011
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: be to enjoy the baby as much as you can,

1012
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 1: and then if you feel like it, and if your

1013
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 1: your body is telling you that you need to work out,

1014
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 1: maybe because you used to work out before, or if

1015
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 1: you're just not happy with the way you look like

1016
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: dolo set get up and start so start doing something,

1017
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 1: whether it's taking the baby for walks, you know, having

1018
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 1: your partners doing little exercises with you, starting with you know,

1019
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 1: once you of course getting clearance from your doctor, starting

1020
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: with like, you know, little things like jumping Jack's or

1021
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 1: what are some exercises that we did in the beginning,

1022
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 1: just to kind of get my body moving again. Allow

1023
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 1: me just to interject a little bit, not that you know,

1024
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: of course it wasn't directed to me because I've never

1025
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 1: had kids, but I do think it's important for women

1026
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 1: who have children. Even hearing you say it today, you said,

1027
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 1: to make sure you you love on your baby, make

1028
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 1: sure that you don't forget yourself while in the process.

1029
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 1: I watched Codeine forget herself and then she goes back

1030
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 1: and look at pictures now and say, devote, how did

1031
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: you let me get like this? And that was one

1032
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: thing I learned that I always, as as her spouse

1033
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 1: and as her mate, had to remind her even through

1034
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 1: the pregnancy, to take care of herself. And hopefully, you know,

1035
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:26,399
Speaker 1: hopefully you're with someone who's supportive, but hopefully that guy

1036
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 1: will be there to be like, listen, I know that

1037
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 1: you love the baby. I know that this and that.

1038
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 1: Give me the child, Give the child to your mother,

1039
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: my mother. You go focus on you for a little bit.

1040
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 1: Take these two hours out of the day to just

1041
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: focus on you. The baby will be fine. I know

1042
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: all mothers feel like nobody can take care of their

1043
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 1: baby as good as them, and I see the K

1044
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 1: was the same way. But that's the quickest way to

1045
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: lose yourself. And I watched K go through it, and

1046
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 1: even the second and the third time she felt a

1047
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,720
Speaker 1: little bit of postpartum depression. Afterwards. I didn't even realize

1048
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: she was going through it until a year later because

1049
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 1: she was so focused on the baby and focus on this,

1050
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 1: because those moments of mommy guilt, like this is a thing,

1051
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: it's an actual thing. And I learned this that to

1052
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: speak into a couple of moms in the recent times.

1053
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 1: It's like a mom guilt thing that you feel like

1054
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 1: if you take time away from your child, you take

1055
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,439
Speaker 1: time away from your household, or your husband, or your family,

1056
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 1: or your a significant other, that you feel this guilt

1057
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 1: like how dare me take time for myself? And that's

1058
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: partner so necessary because you cannot continue to give and

1059
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: poor and give and poor when you have nothing left.

1060
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 1: That's why you have a partner. That's why people don't

1061
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 1: have a partner. What about women who are doing this

1062
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 1: on their own too, well, that's that's a unique situation.

1063
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: And even if you don't have to have a partner,

1064
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 1: you should have a village or I hope you have

1065
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: a village to help you through the process. You know,

1066
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:44,480
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure even the women who choose to do

1067
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 1: this on their own have people who you know, they

1068
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 1: sat down with and say, hey, I'm going to help

1069
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need help. No one can have a baby

1070
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 1: by themselves, like there's a reason why humans are not

1071
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,400
Speaker 1: a sexual because you need a partner to help in

1072
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 1: the process. And even if you choose to go a

1073
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 1: different route than having a spouse to be married, you

1074
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:05,240
Speaker 1: still have a village which is still intern your partner.

1075
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 1: You know, your mom can be your partner, your sister

1076
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 1: can be a partner, your best friends can be your partners.

1077
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 1: Rely on your partners as much as possible, because that's

1078
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 1: the village is going to help you raise the child.

1079
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: And I think that's important. Yeah. Yeah, after a while too,

1080
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 1: you get to especially once the second and third child

1081
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 1: roll around. Child, you'll be ready for anybody who has

1082
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:22,479
Speaker 1: open arms that you know will love on your baby

1083
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 1: for a little bit while you get you know, an

1084
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,719
Speaker 1: hour or two to yourself to really work on you. So,

1085
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: you know, I say take your time. I know there's

1086
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 1: a societal pressure for the snap back, and you'll have

1087
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: people make snide comments like, oh, you you had that baby,

1088
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 1: how that baby is a year, that baby is two,

1089
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 1: you still got baby fat. You really got to tune

1090
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 1: on people out and tell them go to hell, tell

1091
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 1: them how to get there and then you just really

1092
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 1: focus on yourself. So um, so yeah, congrats to your

1093
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,160
Speaker 1: first time mommy is out there. It's an amazing, amazing,

1094
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 1: amazing thing. Um, you know, love up on those babies,

1095
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: spend some time, but but don't forget yourself. I know

1096
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 1: and know it's hard. And hopefully if if your significant

1097
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 1: other is there with you, man, woman, your family, they

1098
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,359
Speaker 1: need to know too that you're going to go through

1099
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 1: this process and it's going to be difficult. Like I

1100
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 1: speak to some men and how do I do with

1101
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 1: my wife going through this? She's gonna go through it.

1102
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,399
Speaker 1: It's part of the process. You're never It's very rare

1103
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 1: you find a woman who is so so strong and

1104
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 1: mentally mentally prepared to have a baby that they can

1105
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 1: just take it all and stride and not give you

1106
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 1: a little bit of backlash because you know, you don't

1107
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: have to deal with those things that they go through.

1108
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 1: So if you have a partner with you, who's there

1109
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 1: riding with you, just let them know this is part

1110
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: of the process and you're gonna get this. And the

1111
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 1: hormones are very real postpartum. The Diressian depression is very real,

1112
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,800
Speaker 1: and you can have that up to a couple of

1113
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 1: years after you have a baby. It manifests itself in

1114
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:37,359
Speaker 1: different ways, but it's the key to it is also

1115
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: I mean in in turn, not looking at just your family,

1116
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: but also to your health care professionals. So I know

1117
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,839
Speaker 1: my midwife was very instrumental in helping me get through that. UM.

1118
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 1: You know, whether it's your doctor or your duela, whoever

1119
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 1: it is, UM, reach out and ask for help. Asking

1120
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 1: for help is really key. Yes, So let's get down

1121
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,760
Speaker 1: to the second question. This is a very simple question,

1122
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: and it's for either one of us. How do you

1123
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 1: conquer your fears? This, this one for me is very simple.

1124
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 1: Head on. You know that I've always been like that.

1125
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 1: My mom told me that when I was in kindergarten,

1126
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: the first time I had to get on the bus

1127
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 1: to go to school by myself, she remembers, and I

1128
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: remember the day, what were you like, four or five?

1129
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 1: I was five turn five, And I remember the day

1130
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 1: we were in front of fifty three or five Avenue

1131
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,839
Speaker 1: d Brooklyn, New York. The bus pulls up Mr Augusty's bus,

1132
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 1: and this is the first time I'm getting on the bus,

1133
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:30,800
Speaker 1: Like my parents weren't dropping me to school. Because I

1134
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 1: used to go to Little Rats and they used to

1135
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 1: take me, and I remember my my father and my

1136
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 1: mother said hey, y'all, get on the bus. I remember

1137
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 1: being scared and just walking up to the bus and saying,

1138
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: de Val, don't look back because you're gonna cry. Just

1139
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 1: get on the bus. I remember that vividly, and in

1140
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: my mom to this day recalls the fact that I

1141
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 1: never looked back and she cried because I just got

1142
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 1: on the bus and I didn't look back. But that's

1143
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: always been my makeup, to just see see something and

1144
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 1: be like, you know what, that scares me. If I

1145
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: don't face it, it's gonna always scare me. I remember

1146
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 1: being seven being afraid of the dark, and we just

1147
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 1: moved to our house in the basement, and I was nine.

1148
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: A matter of fact, now even said nine, just moved

1149
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: the house, first time having the basement ever, and it's

1150
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 1: dark down there, the washing machine is going the boilers,

1151
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 1: and I remembering I gotta go downstairs to turn the

1152
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 1: light on. You know what I did. I just walked

1153
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 1: down there in turn the light on, and then once

1154
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: I got through it, you realize that there's nothing to

1155
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,479
Speaker 1: be afraid of. You gotta just jump right in. Wow.

1156
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 1: So it's like, for I think about your days when

1157
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: you play like football, for example, when you play in

1158
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 1: the NFL and you were in the you know, end

1159
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: zone about to catch a punt or kick return or whatever.

1160
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,399
Speaker 1: It was fair and nerves. Are they like the same

1161
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 1: how you deal with it the same way? Yeah? Well,

1162
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 1: I mean there's there's different types. Because there's fear where

1163
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 1: you you know, you fear that, there's you know pain

1164
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 1: is coming, or you fear something's gonna happening detrimental. And

1165
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: there's there's nerves where Okay, if I dropped this point,

1166
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 1: I could get cut. You know what I'm saying. If

1167
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 1: I make a mistake, That to me isn't fear. That's

1168
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,800
Speaker 1: just that's nerves. That's you know a little bit worried.

1169
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 1: You have some anxiety. Um. For me, fear is something

1170
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 1: very different. Fear is if I catch this point and

1171
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 1: I get smacked, I could get hurt. There comes a

1172
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: point in your life where you have to choose if

1173
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 1: you're gonna let fear control you, where you're going to

1174
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: control your fears, and then controlling your fears, you understand

1175
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 1: what the fear is and how to beat it. And

1176
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,919
Speaker 1: you face it. So rather than run from the fear,

1177
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: which most people do, most people use the Ostrich technique.

1178
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: They put their head in the dirt and they say,

1179
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 1: I don't see the fear. There's no fear there. I

1180
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 1: don't see it. I don't see people. Most people deal

1181
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 1: with fear that way. But remember you, you can't grow

1182
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,399
Speaker 1: until you're uncomfortable. The only way you can grow through

1183
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 1: through discomfort. We've been speaking about that recently a lot,

1184
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:48,760
Speaker 1: about thinking about making changes in our lives together as individuals.

1185
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 1: And it's a couple and it's a family. How you

1186
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 1: need to put yourselves in these uncomfortable situations. And it's

1187
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 1: not a it's not a metaphor, it's a physical attribute.

1188
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: Your muscles can't grow unless you make them uncomfortable. There's discomfort,

1189
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:05,879
Speaker 1: you break them down. Diamonds cannot become diamonds unless it's cold, dark,

1190
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: and there's immense amounts of pressure. So you need discomfort

1191
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 1: in order to grow. So when I see fear, I

1192
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: find a way to beat it and I attack it. Wow.

1193
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 1: I like how you tie that into like breaking down

1194
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 1: the monso, because if you talk about fitness today, off

1195
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:26,880
Speaker 1: the top, the impressive I think for me with my fears,

1196
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: it depends on how tangible the fear is. Like, you know,

1197
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 1: you have different types of fear. There's a fear of death,

1198
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 1: for example. That's something you can't control per se, you know,

1199
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 1: but it's still a fear. Do you let that control you?

1200
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: Do you not do things because of fear? That's the thing?

1201
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 1: And no, I would say, I don't. Maybe I do

1202
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 1: have a better handle on my fears. And I think

1203
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 1: you don't even realize that you have a better You

1204
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,360
Speaker 1: couldn't be where you are now without handling your fears.

1205
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: You couldn't. You don't even realize, which is a good thing.

1206
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 1: It's a good thing. If you start to recognize all

1207
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 1: your fears and say, oh, I was scared of that.

1208
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: I was scared of that, that's when you start to

1209
00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:00,399
Speaker 1: acknowledge that the fear is there, Like my fear of heights.

1210
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:01,800
Speaker 1: But I go ahead and book at AIRB and be

1211
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: on the fifty second floor of a building that's facing

1212
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: exactly but because the view is cute, you know, it's

1213
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 1: a cute view. You know, I can get up whatever,

1214
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 1: and I can do it, and you know, I can

1215
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 1: do a little Instagram story and people be like, oh, shoot,

1216
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: that's a nice view. I'm on the balcony, like, that's

1217
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: why you're able to face your fears because you want

1218
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: to be cute. Hey, how do you conquer your fear

1219
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:30,560
Speaker 1: trying to be trying to be cute? Trying to be cute?

1220
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 1: That's dope. Though I guess I thought I was more

1221
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 1: of the ostrich, but maybe I'm not because even the

1222
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 1: top difficult conversations that we even have, sometimes I fear

1223
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 1: what you're gonna say, and not in a bad way,

1224
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 1: but it's just a fair of the unknown of how

1225
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 1: you will react to it, and then we end up

1226
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 1: facing it head on. Where As in the past I

1227
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 1: used to be the ostrich and not want to have confrontations.

1228
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 1: Now you you are not afraid of competition, especially with me.

1229
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: Look at how much we've grown. Absolutely because that man

1230
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 1: who acts listener letter right here, I wish I could

1231
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,280
Speaker 1: shout you out and had a little therapy session up

1232
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,840
Speaker 1: in here today. All right, So our third listener letter

1233
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 1: and final for today is what's your opinion on someone

1234
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 1: who is married or in a relationship being on a

1235
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 1: dating app not to find someone to date, but for

1236
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 1: conversation purposes and learning different perspectives from different individuals. I

1237
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:25,919
Speaker 1: feel like the person who framed this question framed because

1238
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 1: they wanted us to agree with them. They're like, yeah,

1239
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 1: I only had this dating nepp because I'm trying to

1240
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 1: learn from people and get different perspectives from different individuals.

1241
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 1: But clearly, whoever you're dating and doesn't agree with this,

1242
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 1: I don't even think to mean to me, to me

1243
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: perfectly honest, somebody got in trouble being on the dating

1244
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 1: net clearly, and they want some validation as if they're

1245
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 1: doing right, and you want validation here and I'm not

1246
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: gonna give it to you. This is how I feel

1247
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 1: about this. You can get opinions from other people simply

1248
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:57,360
Speaker 1: by going on Facebook and having old school conversations with people,

1249
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 1: going to the bar, meaning going to the bar, going

1250
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 1: to the coffee out and put your phone down for

1251
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 1: a two point five seconds and starting a conversation like

1252
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 1: no one does that anymore. That allow me to play

1253
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 1: Devil's advocate for a second, not saying that it's okay

1254
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: to go on a dating app. But say you're married

1255
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 1: and you go to the bar and start speaking to people,

1256
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 1: you will get looked at crazy. If you're talking to

1257
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 1: someone of the opposite sex and you're married, just having

1258
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:22,080
Speaker 1: random conversation. Though, Think about how many times people have

1259
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 1: been talking and it looks funny. Think about why, why

1260
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 1: why are they talking here? Such a scenario like, for example,

1261
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 1: you're at the bar, just happen to be having a drink.

1262
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 1: You're waiting for your homeboard to come meet you at

1263
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 1: the bar, there's a young lady sitting next to you.

1264
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: She's having a drink, You're having a drink, and then

1265
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 1: you guys are having conversation. You're saying that looks suspicious

1266
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 1: or anything can be taking. That's all it takes to

1267
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,280
Speaker 1: somebody to take a quick photo of that and be like, oh,

1268
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:50,439
Speaker 1: in this moment, that a woman exactly. That's why. That's

1269
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:52,280
Speaker 1: why you can't necesarily just go out and start talking

1270
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: to people. You know. It also depends on how comfortable

1271
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 1: you and your partner are. But social media is that's

1272
00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 1: what social media is for. You don't really need a

1273
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 1: dating app. You can on Facebook and post if you

1274
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:05,000
Speaker 1: want someone's opinion, go on Facebook, post a question and

1275
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 1: watch how many people respond to comments and stuff like that.

1276
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 1: You know that's true. I don't know why it has

1277
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 1: to be. I don't know why it has to be

1278
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 1: whoever posed this question. I think we're trying to get

1279
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 1: some validation here, but I'm not gonna give it to

1280
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 1: you today. That does seem a little suspect, you know,

1281
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,320
Speaker 1: to get perspectives, and I like to play devil's advocate,

1282
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 1: but it's hard for meating, like why are dating it? Right?

1283
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 1: It could totally be something else. They could totally be

1284
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 1: something else. So yeah, go to the coffee shop, strick

1285
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 1: of conversation. Maybe not with one individual, but start a

1286
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: conversation with a couple of people nearby if they're not working.

1287
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, and also understands for that,

1288
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 1: understand this. If you and your spouse, what significant other,

1289
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 1: are comfortable in your relationship and they're at the bar

1290
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 1: talking to someone else, it's not gonna be a big deal.

1291
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 1: Because I tell you right now, it don't matter how

1292
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 1: many pictures you take of me at a bar speaking

1293
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: to someone. And this has happened before, Yes, this is

1294
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 1: happening for that I was I was filming. I was

1295
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 1: filming make up to break up. Yes, And the scene

1296
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:04,200
Speaker 1: was taken in the bar and it was me and

1297
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: my co star and We're literally sitting at the bar

1298
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:09,439
Speaker 1: going over our lines as we're waiting for the weather

1299
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 1: to change outside, and a woman comes up to me

1300
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 1: and says, that don't look like codein what she gave you,

1301
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:17,720
Speaker 1: all three of those boys. And I was just like,

1302
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 1: first and foremost, it's very rude for you to automatically

1303
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: assume that you know what I'm saying. What if I

1304
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 1: was at a business meeting, you know what I'm saying.

1305
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 1: That that did show me that sometimes even in your innocence,

1306
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 1: people can take it and twisted however which way they want.

1307
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:35,280
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And so I also knew.

1308
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: I laughed with the woman first of all, because I

1309
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 1: thought it was funny. I laughed because I knew that

1310
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 1: you you know, you could have called Canine right now.

1311
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 1: She would have been like, it's right. But I do appreciate,

1312
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: you know, those people who you know, stand with your soldiers.

1313
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:51,640
Speaker 1: Even I posted I posted one of my home girls

1314
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 1: on my Instagram the other day. I was in Atlanta

1315
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 1: and I posted on my Instagram and that the most

1316
01:01:56,640 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 1: comments was, but where it's Codeine. I'm like, Dad, I'm like, yo,

1317
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 1: this is one of the women that I'm working with

1318
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 1: the As love y'all like I do, I do, you

1319
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:09,400
Speaker 1: always at my back. If you want to be featured

1320
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 1: as one of our listener letters, be shure to email

1321
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 1: us at dead As Advice at gmail dot com. That's

1322
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:18,000
Speaker 1: d E A D A S S A D V

1323
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. We'd love to

1324
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 1: hear from you and give our two cents. Tell me

1325
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 1: what your moment of truth is today, babe? What what

1326
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:30,640
Speaker 1: do you take away from this loaded conversation about body immagiction,

1327
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 1: nutrition and fitness and everything Dolo spoke about. Well, this

1328
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 1: is the biggest thing because we spoke about it in

1329
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:39,360
Speaker 1: terms of relationship. For us, my moment of truth came

1330
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:45,360
Speaker 1: when Dolo explained that she he has men who come

1331
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 1: to him with their significant other and that women don't

1332
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 1: want to listen to anything they're saying, but they'll listen

1333
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,520
Speaker 1: to everything Dolo. My moment of truth was hot. So

1334
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 1: it was not just Cadine. It's not just my girlfriend,

1335
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 1: it's not just my wife. There is an issue with

1336
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,440
Speaker 1: listening to your significant other nitpick about your body when

1337
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:05,240
Speaker 1: you're already a little bit insecure about it. It's easier

1338
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 1: to listen to a professional so I can't get so

1339
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,360
Speaker 1: defensive or insecure on myself that you don't want to

1340
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 1: listen to me, you rather listen to someone else. That

1341
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 1: was my moment of truth. It's okay for your significant

1342
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 1: other to listen to a professional about themselves when they

1343
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 1: don't want to listen to you, because that used to

1344
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 1: bother me. I used to say to you all the time,

1345
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 1: why don't you just want to listen to me? Listen

1346
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 1: to him? Explain it? That way taught me. So you're

1347
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 1: gonna star, you gonna leave me alone? Now you know

1348
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 1: I've been left you alone, son, not since like yesterday. Son,

1349
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 1: Come on, like yesterday. You were like, so I'm going

1350
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,160
Speaker 1: to the gym. Are you coming now? That was your

1351
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:41,240
Speaker 1: way of saying, OK, you need to work out today

1352
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,040
Speaker 1: because you haven't worked out in a week now. In

1353
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:46,600
Speaker 1: my defense, the day before that, I just went to

1354
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:49,120
Speaker 1: the gym and didn't say nothing to you, and you

1355
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 1: said to me, if you go into the gym to me,

1356
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:55,959
Speaker 1: he was going into the gym, So make up your mind.

1357
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,200
Speaker 1: It depends on that's that's also another moment of truth.

1358
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 1: You don't get to you. I need, I need. You

1359
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 1: don't know what she wants all right, So I just

1360
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:05,200
Speaker 1: gotta be ready. I gotta I gotta be ready, like

1361
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:13,080
Speaker 1: jumping a rope for you. It's MP's got to be ready,

1362
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 1: all right. You on your point one and point two.

1363
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: You know it's funny because that leads me to my

1364
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:20,800
Speaker 1: moment of truth. And my moment of truth is anybody,

1365
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:25,480
Speaker 1: regardless of who you are, man, woman, whatever, you have

1366
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:28,720
Speaker 1: to be honest with yourself at some point. And I

1367
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:34,360
Speaker 1: think that's where I fall in that I can't rely

1368
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,200
Speaker 1: on you to always hold me accountable. I have to

1369
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:38,600
Speaker 1: be honest with myself and be like Codin. You want

1370
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 1: to do this, you want to do that, you want

1371
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 1: to look this way, you want these opportunities. You can't

1372
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:47,960
Speaker 1: even exhaust anybody else, whether it be Devol or Dolo

1373
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:50,360
Speaker 1: or a trainer or whoever else it is. You can't

1374
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 1: exhaust them by you know, putting these issues that you

1375
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 1: have on them and then not expecting for them to

1376
01:04:55,400 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 1: help you. I have to be honest with myself and

1377
01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 1: be like girl sis, if this is what you really want,

1378
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 1: you're going to have to make the change internally. And

1379
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 1: I can't rely on everybody to always be the one

1380
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:06,320
Speaker 1: to push me because that gets exhausting for them too,

1381
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:12,160
Speaker 1: So you're welcome Devout again. Wow, Okay, you're welcome for

1382
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:14,760
Speaker 1: the second time this episode. I'm so glad you were

1383
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:20,200
Speaker 1: able to fun thank yourself. So next time I'm bitching

1384
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 1: a moment about going to the gym, you have to

1385
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 1: replay this episode in this part so I can remind

1386
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:26,000
Speaker 1: myself and I could be my own motivation to stop

1387
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:28,960
Speaker 1: lying to myself and be true to who I am

1388
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:31,479
Speaker 1: and want to be. I would definitely do that moment

1389
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:36,440
Speaker 1: of truth there. Yes, make sure you follow us on

1390
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:40,360
Speaker 1: social media. That's I Am Devout and Cadine I Am.

1391
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:43,400
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to

1392
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 1: rape and subscribe that as that ass is a production

1393
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 1: of Stitcher. It's produced by T Square, Stephanie Karayuke and

1394
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:56,320
Speaker 1: Dinora Opinion. Our executive producer as Chris Manning, and we'd

1395
01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,600
Speaker 1: like to give a special thanks to our recording engineer

1396
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:03,440
Speaker 1: Jared O'Connell, our sound designer Brendan Burns, and studio manager

1397
01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:16,200
Speaker 1: Ashley Warren. We'll back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth.

1398
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 1: We have a podcast going on right now as part

1399
01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:21,440
Speaker 1: of the Stitchen and we're called Substraction. That's available everywhere.

1400
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:25,680
Speaker 1: Get a podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go. Listen right

1401
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:28,320
Speaker 1: now to the Distraction, right now. It's out. Do it, please,