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Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Happy Try month. This March, we're going to

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Speaker 1: be unpaywalling a few episodes from the Patreon, and we're

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Speaker 1: starting with one of our favorites, a recent pro version

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Speaker 1: with one of the best people ever, Lily Sullivan. If

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Speaker 1: you haven't checked out the Patreon, we have a lot

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Speaker 1: of great content on there, including the pro version, The

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Speaker 1: Flager Ones, Carl Calls' Cousin, Hollywood Masterclass, and a ton

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Speaker 1: of the videos of all of those recordings that's available

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Speaker 1: at patreon dot com Slash the Flagrant Ones, or you

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Speaker 1: can listen to the pro version on stitch your premium

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Speaker 1: and use the promo code the Boys for one month free. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: that's it. Stay tuned for more content throughout the month

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Speaker 1: and enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: Okay you want to see won't see me? Do it? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Show me?

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Speaker 2: Okay, soda soda in my cup a sweet surprise soon

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Speaker 2: will sup When I say the numbers three, then soda

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Speaker 2: in my cup will be one, two three and there

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Speaker 2: is soda in there.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I can't show Last time I tried, well, last

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Speaker 2: time I tried to show you, I spilled all over

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Speaker 2: No I know, but.

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Speaker 3: You didn't show it. Four or after, like I.

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Speaker 2: I'll show you after. Well it's too late. It's too

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Speaker 2: late to show you before, but I will show you after.

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Speaker 2: You all the time in the world to say, well,

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Speaker 2: let me see the cup first. There you go.

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Speaker 3: No, I understand.

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Speaker 2: But Orange, you can see this a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can see a little bit of it.

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Speaker 2: Orange. I never know what it's going to be, particularly fizzy,

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Speaker 2: but it works for any cup. It is it It

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Speaker 2: isn't that busy?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, which fun with that to me is one of

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Speaker 4: the primary characteristics.

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Speaker 2: Of Sometimes it is sometimes it's really fuzzy. Yeah, hey,

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Speaker 2: experimental with different cops. You so what started in the cup?

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Speaker 2: The cup is empty or it's a different liquid. Nope, empty, okay,

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Speaker 2: And so you have to be holding it in like

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Speaker 2: a certain way. If you're holding it upside down or decided,

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Speaker 2: it just will shoot right out.

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Speaker 4: I had a buddy who could do it, but he

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Speaker 4: would The only thing he could change was like very

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Speaker 4: expensive champagne or like one time I saw him do

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Speaker 4: it with Kolua. But I said, well, you're spending more

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Speaker 4: on these spirits than you're on soda.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to Dirk Kalua and the soda to me, is like.

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Speaker 2: Really, yeah, he's not a come up an incantation. Well,

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Speaker 2: I guess they don't have a machine. You can't put

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Speaker 2: it in like a soda stream. You definitely can't put

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Speaker 2: kolua in a soda stream, he said without trying it.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Hollywood. Handle the pro version.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the pro version.

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Speaker 2: Lily's back Lily. It's normal to have Lily on the

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Speaker 2: pro version. Who knows who's going to be on the

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Speaker 2: pro version? This is twenty twenty two. No, it's true.

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Speaker 4: Like it's so funny when you start a new year

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Speaker 4: and you kind of go in thinking, I know what

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Speaker 4: the pro version is, and then you get absolutely fucking

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Speaker 4: walloped straight in the side of the dome piece by

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Speaker 4: Lily Ely yell.

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Speaker 3: And I want to.

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Speaker 4: Talk first Lily about and I want to do this

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Speaker 4: with everyone.

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Speaker 3: Okay, can we just can you.

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Speaker 4: Walk me through because we did just kind of get

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Speaker 4: out of the holiday seasons.

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Speaker 3: Can you walk me through.

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Speaker 4: Christmas morning pulling that big juicy orange out of the

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Speaker 4: Christmas stock Oh?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Well, first of all, all of our stockings are

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Speaker 5: huge at my family's home, even though we're all in

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Speaker 5: our thirties.

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Speaker 3: We get Yeah, your entire family is at their thirties. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: my dad my kind of family.

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Speaker 5: And my stepmom is in your twenties.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 5: But my dad and my stepmom and my regular mom,

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Speaker 5: they all come over.

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Speaker 3: Your family are all elder millennials.

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Speaker 5: Yeah they are. They're in their late thirties. But me

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Speaker 5: and my brothers were in our early thirties.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And you hold that over them, you old ass late

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Speaker 3: thirties dinosaurs. Oh god, yeah, on my young thirties level exactly.

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Speaker 5: And you guys are elder millennials, aren't you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you know you're about my parents age.

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Speaker 2: And that's what we like. We like trophies and we

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Speaker 2: like big stockings to fit them in.

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Speaker 5: West anyway that we get so many gifts even though

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Speaker 5: we're all in their thirties. Yeah, the treat the whole

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Speaker 5: room is filled because we love gifts and capitalism.

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Speaker 3: And you walked downstairs.

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Speaker 5: You can't even move, you guys.

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Speaker 3: You don't come down yet.

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Speaker 5: You have to open your gifts to make a path

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Speaker 5: to get all the way to the mantle to thet Wowse.

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Speaker 2: You wake up too early, and your thirty nine year

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Speaker 2: old dad is like, it's not ready yet. Don't come

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Speaker 2: down yet. Stay up there.

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Speaker 3: If you see Santa, he will shoot you.

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Speaker 4: His mouth, which is like a that's part of the

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Speaker 4: story in my house, is like you better go to

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Speaker 4: sleep because if you see Santa, he shoots you with

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Speaker 4: a gun.

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Speaker 5: Well, my dad, this Christmas, his mouth was just covered

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Speaker 5: in little crumbs and milk mustache.

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Speaker 3: Okay, oh what happened? He fell?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, he fell straight into the coffee table that had

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Speaker 5: the milk and cookies on it and just shattered its

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Speaker 5: glass shattered.

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Speaker 3: Oh dad, but he has had.

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Speaker 5: Glass all over his body. But you had crumbs, milk

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Speaker 5: and cookies all over his face.

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Speaker 4: Crumb ass face, old ass, thirty year old. That's so

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Speaker 4: fucking Christmas.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, go ahead.

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Speaker 5: And then yeah, our stockings are so big that I

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Speaker 5: basically just climb into mine and I dig deep on

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Speaker 5: down and I find those oranges at the bottom.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you have a whole You had a whole lap

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Speaker 2: of oranges. So your oranges are in the toe.

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Speaker 4: What you can do if you have a stock in

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Speaker 4: that big what we usually do because the toe is

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Speaker 4: very slender.

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Speaker 3: Our stockings are skinny. They're losty long, but very long,

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Speaker 3: but so long. No, no, no, No, that's thing. From the

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Speaker 3: very top of the staircase is the base of the stocking.

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Speaker 2: Whoa, So to get the to get the orange down there,

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Speaker 2: you put it in the top and you have to

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Speaker 2: go outside and just kind of keep whipping it around

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Speaker 2: until the orange gets kind of close to the end.

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Speaker 4: But the way, yeah, I mean when I grew up,

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Speaker 4: it would be in the more in the foot the opening,

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Speaker 4: the ankle opening is like you just see a big, juicy,

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Speaker 4: glistening navel orange just poking out of the very top

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Speaker 4: saying Merry Christmas. Hello, and I bite right into it.

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Speaker 4: You know, I didn't even take time to peel it

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Speaker 4: when I was little.

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Speaker 2: I just start chomping away.

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Speaker 3: Choke. I didn't care, you know, you choke gets sick.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really good.

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Speaker 3: Throw up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you got.

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Speaker 4: A barf bag right there you're stocking, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but that's really cool. I'm happy that you had such

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Speaker 4: a special Christmas.

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Speaker 5: And it was so special. We had to take my

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Speaker 5: dad to the hospital, but it was good.

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Speaker 3: No, Yeah, of course.

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Speaker 2: The Millennial Hospital, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Right, everybody expects something just given to them. Nobody works

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Speaker 4: for anything at the Millennial Hospital, and.

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Speaker 5: They just give you like avocado toast.

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Speaker 2: Right, unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: Pay for coffee?

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Speaker 5: You pay eight dollars?

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Speaker 4: How about make how about make a cup of coffee and,

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Speaker 4: by the way, drink coffee not this uhreaking mocha choco?

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Speaker 6: Yah?

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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah gidchi gidschi.

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Speaker 3: Ro Yeah? What happened to a goddamn cup of fucking joe?

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Speaker 3: That's not good enough for you.

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Speaker 5: I don't understand what it takes so fucking long to make?

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Speaker 5: Why does it take so long? Long? Stupid little cup

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Speaker 5: of coffee?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 5: And I know I'm like dating myself talking like my

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Speaker 5: parents right now, but why when they make a why

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Speaker 5: does it take nine minutes?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? How could it take nine minutes?

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Speaker 5: How?

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Speaker 3: How walk me through minute by minute? What happens? Kevin? Okay?

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Speaker 6: First you put your order in, then they apparently google

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Speaker 6: on like TikTok How to make coffee the long way?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah? Step here, let me back up.

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Speaker 3: Step one grow the beans apparently, and step.

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Speaker 5: Two ship them in from wherever country they're coming from, right.

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Speaker 2: And step three make the coffee the long way step

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Speaker 2: Make the coffee the long way step.

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Speaker 5: Step three there's supply chaine.

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Speaker 2: I already did step three.

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Speaker 5: Step three, I'm putting to step four.

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Speaker 4: Yours should be step four because step three is there

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Speaker 4: supply chainage? There's supply mister boota judge, thank you very much, right,

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Speaker 4: I mean, is there not? The damn booty judge is

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Speaker 4: giving me supply chain issues so that I can make

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Speaker 4: long coffee?

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Speaker 2: Are we ready for a step forward? Do you have

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Speaker 2: another one that you I'm thinking about it?

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Speaker 3: Step oh?

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Speaker 4: Step four catch the beans? Apparently, go catch the beans.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I got mine. Step five now, step.

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Speaker 5: Five grind the beans?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, apparently they're not allowed to use any of

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Speaker 4: the I've seen these mechanical grinders. In fact, I have

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Speaker 4: one in my kitchen. It goes pretty fast. They must

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Speaker 4: not have that here, remember on now, yeah, before I even.

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Speaker 5: Get to go, okay, I guess you can go.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, go aheads.

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Speaker 2: Which one are we even on?

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Speaker 3: I think it's six?

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Speaker 5: Six?

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Speaker 3: Make the coffee the long way? Six? Right?

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Speaker 5: And you guys we just roasted and.

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Speaker 2: Spell my name wrong? Yeah, the medicine for a change.

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Speaker 2: They roasted. That's they usually do that.

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Speaker 3: They usually roast.

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Speaker 4: Apparently they roasted themselves there right after I order a

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Speaker 4: long way.

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Speaker 5: That's eight, Servey to a bunch of men wearing little hats.

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Speaker 4: Right, are these guys? Where do they get the hats?

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Speaker 4: What do they even know they're there? They're so small,

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Speaker 4: they's so jeans.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, these yeah millennials with their cropped jeans and their

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Speaker 2: tiny little fez that they wear teeny hats.

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Speaker 4: I thought it was like a banksy thing. I was like,

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Speaker 4: is he putting hats on these guys?

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Speaker 3: I liked it.

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Speaker 4: I said, somebody's finally putting little hats on these guys,

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Speaker 4: and see how silly they are. But then I realized, no,

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Speaker 4: they're doing it themselves.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, it's.

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Speaker 2: An incredibly tiny little fez.

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Speaker 3: It's so small.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it looks like it should be the cap

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Speaker 4: of a toothpaste or something. It's really crazy to me,

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Speaker 4: these tiny fezes, and I go, this now.

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Speaker 2: Is a hat.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but then the sweatshirts are so big.

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Speaker 3: The sweatshirts are big and have too many arms, right.

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Speaker 5: They do, m h because you tie one of the

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Speaker 5: pair of arms around your waist.

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Speaker 2: Apparently it's so big you actually do need that to

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Speaker 2: keep the freaking thing on.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you tie one at your waist and one around

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Speaker 4: your neck, because otherwise it's gonna slide right down off

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Speaker 4: your shoulders, wrap around your legs, make you fall down.

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Speaker 5: It makes you look like you're at a tennis match

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Speaker 5: and you're like, you know, you've got to sweatsher around

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Speaker 5: your waist at the same time as you're wearing one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And then of course that jan you're Nirvana unplugged, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And the headhole is an arm sleeve. So the only

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Speaker 2: way you can even tell which way is up on

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Speaker 2: these freaks is that there's a fez up there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's how you know it's the head Yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 3: At least it tells me which end to speak.

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Speaker 5: To you, you know. And thankfully in the sweatshirts they

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Speaker 5: put like you know, with sheets, they'll say like this

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Speaker 5: side is like the top. They have a little time,

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Speaker 5: so this is the neck.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I need it. Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 4: I need it because I can't find normal sweatshirts anymore.

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Speaker 3: Where did those go? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: When I go to the store, I only see these

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Speaker 4: sweatshirts we're describing with the two tie sleeves, the label

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Speaker 4: for the head end.

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Speaker 3: Right, yeah, the really long and big.

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Speaker 4: I don't see what I what I think of as

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Speaker 4: a sweatshirt, which is like you just put it on.

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Speaker 5: When they're hanging. They look kind of like crabs or

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Speaker 5: something like that, you know, like a crab body with

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Speaker 5: a bunch of arms. Skinny.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I've been Oh yes, I've been very scared by

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Speaker 4: these at the store. Yeah, very scared by them of

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Speaker 4: getting pinched by one.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, walking into twenty twenty two with this energy, Vince

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Speaker 2: McMahon giff and we want to talk a little about

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Speaker 2: we have so little time left?

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Speaker 5: Yes, what's the deal? You guys wanted me on the

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Speaker 5: short one? Huh this short podcast?

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Speaker 2: You don't even I mean, this could be the.

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Speaker 3: The like I don't know. Kevin's plan.

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Speaker 2: Kevin's planning for twenty twenty one was have as many

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Speaker 2: podcasters on the show as possible.

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Speaker 5: It was.

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Speaker 2: Incredibly unambitious and somehow didn't even reach the very low standard.

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Speaker 4: But I said that, like you know, you said a

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Speaker 4: new Year's resolution or whatever, like it's good to make

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Speaker 4: it achievable, like if you aim sure, you're not going

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Speaker 4: to get there. So I think it was smart in

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Speaker 4: a way to say I'm going to get podcasters to

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Speaker 4: do this other podcast. Yes I am is fine, No, no, no,

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Speaker 4: this is a new this is a new.

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Speaker 2: This is a new year. Reseat pro version is where

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Speaker 2: we have the real guess makes sense. This is where

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Speaker 2: this is where you know, we need people to be here.

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Speaker 2: It makes no sense that we were doing. We were

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Speaker 2: giving it all away on the free thing, and then

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Speaker 2: they're like, oh, by the way, you pay to come

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Speaker 2: back here. There's nothing, there's nothing here.

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Speaker 4: Go ahead and pay, and then when you get back here,

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Speaker 4: it's like you're just hanging out with the security guards.

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Speaker 4: It's like, this is the VIP section. All the stars

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Speaker 4: are out there, So which one.

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Speaker 5: Am I I'm on the paid version.

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Speaker 2: It could be this again, this is it is paid. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I don't know what.

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Speaker 3: Kevin's doing this year. I don't know what he does.

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Speaker 5: Well ask Kevin later. Because we only have so much time.

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Speaker 3: We're almost out of time.

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Speaker 2: We're almost out of time. You get back into VIP

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Speaker 2: and you're like, can I leave? And we're like, okay,

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Speaker 2: you can leave in a month that you're subscriber a

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Speaker 2: month though you have to stay in the VIP for

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Speaker 2: a month, and they're mostly okay, I'm going to yep.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that definitely leaves, and you go like, gosh, the.

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Speaker 3: VIP was just starting to get a little bit fun.

314
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Speaker 4: Now, like somebody kicked down the fire exits like.

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Speaker 3: Everyone's gone.

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Speaker 5: So it's great to be.

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Speaker 2: Here walking into twenty twenty two. And I want to

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Speaker 2: talk about leaving the past behind us, moving forward, taking

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Speaker 2: the events of twenty twenty one. Boo twenty twenty one

320
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Speaker 2: dumpster fire.

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Speaker 4: Yes, mega dumpster fire, bad year, and broke the streak

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Speaker 4: of good year years. I was saying to myself, Gosh,

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Speaker 4: I'm so glad I haven't had to say boo to

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Speaker 4: any of the years, and twenty twenty one came, tap

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Speaker 4: me on the shoulder.

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Speaker 2: Yes, excuse me, yes, rip good years negative three thousand

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Speaker 2: to twenty twenty.

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Speaker 3: Yeah to just about through twenty twenty, which rocked.

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Speaker 5: I loved it, But it.

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Speaker 4: Is we we should put it away, and I think

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Speaker 4: we should honor the past before we say goodbye to it.

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Speaker 3: Not surely history etcetera, etcetera.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And so what we want to do is read

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Speaker 2: a short, short, please entry from each of our diaries

335
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Speaker 2: and just an event of this year that we want

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Speaker 2: to hold space for, but then relinquish to pass history

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Speaker 2: and share it with others so that we may release it.

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Speaker 2: And so just a quick diary entry, and then we

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Speaker 2: move forward. Okay, okay, I can go first. December twenty one,

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty one. Anxious. That was the expression on my

341
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Speaker 2: face when my uncle told me that he was moving

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Speaker 2: to another town. At first, I thought he was doing

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Speaker 2: one of his famous very short jokes, but then the

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00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 2: expression on his face told me he was being incredibly serious.

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00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,680
Speaker 2: I asked him where I was going, and he said

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00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,680
Speaker 2: something so weird I didn't even know if it was

347
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Speaker 2: a place, or if he had even answered my question

348
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Speaker 2: or not. My first reaction was to tell him that

349
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Speaker 2: I was moving to just to show him how ridiculous

350
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Speaker 2: the entire thing was. I started putting all my things

351
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Speaker 2: in a huge pile and knocking them over. This would

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Speaker 2: be happening to him soon too, I explained. He said

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Speaker 2: that I could move if I wanted, but his apartment

354
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,320
Speaker 2: was too small for me to do Muay Thai kickboxing in.

355
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 2: I also reminded him that I didn't even know where

356
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Speaker 2: anything was there. The danger of getting lost was incredible.

357
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,959
Speaker 2: A few weeks later, I saw my uncle at Brandtuon's

358
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Speaker 2: grocery store. I thought you moved, I said. He told

359
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 2: me he had decided not to and forgot to tell me.

360
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,680
Speaker 2: Now I understood the concept of love bombing. So that's

361
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,919
Speaker 2: what love bombing is. And it actually turns out that

362
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 2: basically my entire family has been doing this to me.

363
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 3: They shower you with affection.

364
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 2: And then they're like, oh, we're like going somewhere, going

365
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 2: somewhere else, or like I wait and get you something.

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00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 2: This is something that I'm just kind of recently being

367
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 2: my diary's over. By the way I'm talking, like I'm

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00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 2: actually trying to talk to to you guys now, like this.

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Speaker 5: Is your diary voice is the same as your normal voice.

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00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 2: I was going to say, it's actually very different. It's

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00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 2: really not the same thing. I hate.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I said it's connection.

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00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 4: Maybe it's your connection, because it to me it sounded

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Speaker 4: like the diary entry and you're talking.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear yours. Really can't wait to

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00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 2: hear your diary voices and how different. Okay, great, that'd

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00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 2: be great. Okay, I'm happy.

378
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 3: I can't wait. I just said I can't let me

379
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 3: get it out here.

380
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:58,920
Speaker 2: I'm really excited.

381
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 3: Whoa ooh, that's really nice, very skimpy.

382
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 5: Okay. December twenty fifth, twenty twenty one. Christmas started out perfectly,

383
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Speaker 5: running down the stairs, through the pile of gifts and

384
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Speaker 5: climbing into my big stocking for all the oranges. But

385
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 5: things took a nasty turn later in the evening, when

386
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 5: our family was playing charades, all of a sudden, I

387
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 5: felt like I wasn't getting any attention. I decided, while

388
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 5: acting out Rainbow, to pretend like my arm had been

389
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 5: dislocated from the socket. I started screaming blody murder, ah,

390
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 5: oh my arm, oh fuck fuck. My family rushed to

391
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 5: my side, but to their surprise, they found that my

392
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 5: arm was not dislocated, at which point I sprinted to

393
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 5: the bathroom, flung the door closed, and locked myself in

394
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 5: there for the rest of the night. My family was

395
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 5: so upset that they called the fire department to get

396
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 5: me out. The fire department broke down the door to

397
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 5: find me in a bathtub, fully naked, no water. It

398
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 5: was at that point that I realized maybe I had

399
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 5: gone too far. Maybe I didn't need to put on

400
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 5: such a big show. After all, my mom was in tears,

401
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:40,880
Speaker 5: and my little brother has to go to a serious

402
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 5: therapy session tomorrow to deal with the trauma. Overall, it

403
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 5: wasn't as bad of a year as I thought it

404
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 5: would have been, But today was not good. Hopefully things

405
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 5: will get better in twenty twenty two. Always and forever, Lily.

406
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 5: That's the end of it.

407
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,639
Speaker 2: That it's really nice that you sign it that. Yeah,

408
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 2: you sign your diary.

409
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, your diary.

410
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,880
Speaker 5: Well, I want my diary to know that it's that's

411
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 5: me and forever, always, Love Lily.

412
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 3: That story was really scary.

413
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 5: What are you talking about?

414
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 3: Well, there was like just like when you scream that was.

415
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 2: It did hurt? I thought it didn't hurt, But the

416
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 2: way you were screaming, I actually thought that you had

417
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 2: hurt yourself while you.

418
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 3: Were I thought, oh, no, is that what happened?

419
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,919
Speaker 2: Did you hurt yourself while you were reading the story?

420
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 2: From reading?

421
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 5: No, No, I didn't. It's just that I'm an actress

422
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 5: though I can channel the pain. And for me, when

423
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 5: I thought about if somebody dislocated their arm, I actually

424
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 5: feel that, like that act like I feel it.

425
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,479
Speaker 2: How did they determine? Here's what I'm curious about, Like

426
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 2: it would be tough for me to know for sure

427
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 2: visually from looking at someone that they're that their arm

428
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: or like their shoulder or something like definitely wasn't dislocated. Yeah, oh,

429
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 2: especially if you're like a good actress.

430
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,479
Speaker 5: Well, so I think normally like your shoulder like it's

431
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 5: like your shoulder goes away.

432
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 3: Oh okay, and your family knows that. I guess I

433
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 3: just haven't.

434
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 5: My family is all doctors. Oh wow, except for me

435
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 5: and my brother and my other brother and my stepmom

436
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 5: and my mom and wow, my dad.

437
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 2: That's really sad that your thirty one year old brother

438
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 2: has to go to really serious therapy too.

439
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 5: He's pretty fucked up from everything.

440
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 3: That's sad.

441
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 4: But I just want to say, like, you don't have

442
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 4: to be a doctor to know that you're mostly your

443
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 4: shoulder goes away. And I and I I have no

444
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 4: training per se, but I am naturally rather medical.

445
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 3: Okay.

446
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just sort of emptying that nobody's ever done

447
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 2: that around me.

448
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 3: So yeah, well I hope they don't. You won't be

449
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 3: prepared to deal with it.

450
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 2: Nobody's ever done that.

451
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 5: Well, you should come play games at my family's home sometimes.

452
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 2: Okay, it didn't happen when that timing O the just.

453
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 3: Imaication for everybody.

454
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 5: No, it's ark.

455
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 2: Uh Is this because you're on the pro version yeah,

456
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 2: it is.

457
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 3: Well, I guess i'll read my diary. I mean, I'm

458
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 3: a little embarrassed.

459
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,160
Speaker 5: You should hurry up. There's not much time left.

460
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're basically done.

461
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 3: Okay, Hey, diary, it's January third, twenty two.

462
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 4: Sorry I didn't write in you at all last year.

463
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 4: So what started as a good day turned pretty bad.

464
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 4: But what else is new. I was on my normal walk,

465
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 4: taking the usual route, when all of a sudden, mine

466
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 4: eye did spy exactly what I'd been looking for. It

467
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 4: was as if God pulled the clouds apart and sent

468
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 4: a beam of sunshine directly on to my trophy, a

469
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 4: stick long enough to reach the leaf on the tree

470
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,439
Speaker 4: in f my front yard. So I picked up the

471
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 4: stick and went running back home. I fell once or

472
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 4: twice on the way, but that's to be expected. When

473
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 4: I got there, my front gate was locked, but I

474
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 4: didn't get discouraged.

475
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 3: Instead, I went around.

476
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 4: When I got around and reached for the leaf, I

477
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 4: realized the stick wasn't long enough at all, and also

478
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 4: one of the times I felt it broke it in half,

479
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 4: which at first made me excited that I had two sticks,

480
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 4: But then I realized that both of the sticks wouldn't

481
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 4: work either of them for what I wanted to do diary,

482
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 4: and I couldn't do it, So instead, I decided to

483
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 4: try to dig a hole big enough that I could

484
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 4: pull the tree out of the ground and take.

485
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 3: The leaf down.

486
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,120
Speaker 4: As I began digging with the sticks, they broke several

487
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 4: more times, and then I poked myself with the stomach

488
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 4: really hard and scratched myself and it really hurt. At

489
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 4: that point, I basically was all done digging with the

490
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 4: sticks and didn't even care about the leaf anymore, as

491
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 4: I had to go inside to do an interview with

492
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 4: the graduate student I had met at school drop off

493
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 4: who wanted to interview myself and Mira about our relationship.

494
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 4: She had a theory that marriages are more successful when

495
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 4: the woman is the primary breadwinner in the household. I

496
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 4: don't know exactly why, but that psychology grad students.

497
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 3: Anyway.

498
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 4: We answered her questions and everything seemed to be going

499
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:57,360
Speaker 4: just fine. That's when I realized something was off about Mira.

500
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 4: That night, in bed, as we discussed our relationship, she

501
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 4: dropped a bombshell on me.

502
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 3: It turns out that.

503
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,920
Speaker 4: The startup she had been dealing with in Israel who

504
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 4: she was supposed to shepherd the launch of and bring

505
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 4: them into her big tech company. Well, the man who's

506
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 4: in charge is coming over from Tel Aviv to sweep

507
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 4: her off her feet, and they've fallen in love over

508
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 4: various zoom sessions and now she's going to be living

509
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 4: with him for an indeterminate amount of time. I said

510
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 4: to Mira, don't do this, don't do this. But then

511
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 4: I helped her pack her suitcase because I guess, well,

512
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 4: I guess that's just our routine. I always help her

513
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 4: pack because she can't full close. So then after that,

514
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 4: I kind of just went outside of the middle of

515
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 4: the night and looked at the leaf again for a while,

516
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 4: and then I went to look for another stick, but

517
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 4: there's no sticks on the ground, and I started to

518
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 4: get mad at some of the dogs of the neighborhood

519
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 4: because I think maybe they ate them.

520
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 3: Anyway, Diary, that's so far.

521
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 4: This is twenty twenty two, and thanks Diary, and so

522
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 4: I'll see you later.

523
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 5: Diary.

524
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 2: Okay, it was very long, was it?

525
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 3: Yes?

526
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 2: And also I do I couldn't help but notice that

527
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: it did take place today. Today was the date on it.

528
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, even though there is a the beers would have

529
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 4: been a day to night.

530
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, there seemed to be a bedtime transition.

531
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 4: I'm on the East coast. Okay, the some like the

532
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 4: sun is literally blinding.

533
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 5: Like, can I say something? Yeah, you had a really

534
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 5: good diary voice.

535
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 3: Hey, finally something positive.

536
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 4: Okay, can I say something? You did? You did not

537
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 4: understood the assignment?

538
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 3: It was really long, really long.

539
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 5: Huh, it's really long.

540
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 4: I gotta say, just as the person who wrote it

541
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 4: and then had to read it, it.

542
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 3: Flew by for me.

543
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 4: Okay, it flew and I feel like I was thinking, gosh,

544
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 4: I short changed them. This could have been even longer

545
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 4: because I didn't talk at all about the pragmantis I

546
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 4: found while I was digging, or how it's leg looked hurt,

547
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 4: or how I tried to pick it up with the

548
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 4: stick and then get it on the stick. Well, I

549
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 4: don't think I did. And I couldn't get it on

550
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 4: the stick because I think because its leg was hurt.

551
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 4: So then I had to get a leaf so that

552
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 4: it had like a wider base, and then I moved

553
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 4: it to the front of the garden.

554
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 3: And I think it's doing pretty well. I haven't checked.

555
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, that was today as well.

556
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's yes, everything was today.

557
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 5: Okay, it just seems like a pretty long day.

558
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 4: I guess I just like interrogate anyone about their diary

559
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 4: entries and like that.

560
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 2: Actually, for anyone to say anything about my story at all,

561
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 2: I couldn't.

562
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 3: I honestly, I don't. I can't tell when you're doing

563
00:30:58,720 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 3: your diary and when you're talking.

564
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 5: I seriously don't even remember a word of yours.

565
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 2: Do you remember a single word?

566
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 5: I don't remember a word, Okay, but mine was very memorable.

567
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 5: I don't know anyone would forget mine.

568
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 4: Lily's I remember all of And I also am curious,

569
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 4: is anyone concerned about the status I was so long?

570
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 4: Here is in Tel Aviv with the head of the

571
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 4: startup that her company's absorbing mine.

572
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 2: Honestly, forget mine too. It happened like a thousand years ago. Basically,

573
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 2: the charms was so warm.

574
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 3: Well here, yours isn't true.

575
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 2: My uncle announced to me with no warning whatsoever, he

576
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 2: was moving to another town. And then I saw him

577
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 2: at brand Tune's grocery store.

578
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 3: Well, do you think you're too sunny for that to

579
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 3: have happened?

580
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 5: Do you think your uncle's little liar? Or do you

581
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 5: think that he's a cheating No?

582
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 2: I actually think he genuinely changed his.

583
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 5: Mind really because of what you said?

584
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: Was it because of what I said? It might have

585
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 2: been because when I piled everything up, did you go?

586
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 2: And I knocked it down? He's like, I certainly don't

587
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 2: want that to happen to me.

588
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 5: Did you go? Was it something I've foged?

589
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 3: Who is okay? Whose diary voice is this?

590
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 5: Did you know who.

591
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 2: Kevin read some of your diary? Now? Yeah? Fast, now

592
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 2: so fast.

593
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 6: It's December twenty eighth, twenty twenty one.

594
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 3: Wow, these all just happened.

595
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 2: I'm so glad to be done student teaching. My class

596
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: honestly sucked.

597
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 3: Yesterday.

598
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,239
Speaker 6: I the lesson was about shock, and I brought in

599
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 6: my Christmas present where you can monitor your brain waves

600
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 6: when you look at different things.

601
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 3: The lesson was about what shock.

602
00:32:55,040 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 6: Anyway, I said, put up the most garly YouTube video

603
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 6: you guys can find, and I'll show you. We can

604
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 6: watch my brain wave reactions. They put in YouTube World's

605
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 6: most Horrifying car Crashes. Little did I know, Jerry unplugged

606
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 6: my machine. They all started laughing as all these horrifying

607
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 6: car crashes happened, and my brain waves were dead flat.

608
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 6: They kept saying, this bum ass teacher, his brain waves

609
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 6: are dead.

610
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 3: This sucks.

611
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 6: And then I was trying to defend myself and say,

612
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 6: I think there's something wrong with the machine a little,

613
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 6: did I know? Jerry took my lunch out and said,

614
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 6: why do you have pudding and apple sauce? Just bring one? Also,

615
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 6: what else did you bring? Why is it just these two?

616
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 6: And I tried to say, I like the different textures

617
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,479
Speaker 6: in my mouth and they all laughed and the class

618
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 6: is over now, Oh sorry, Love you mean it?

619
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

620
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 6: I mean it.

621
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 3: A reference to Whitney Cummings talk show.

622
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 2: I don't know. Did she say that? Yeah, she called

623
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 2: it that. Oh she said that when she was saying

624
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 2: what the name was?

625
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, she said it every time someone else, what's the

626
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 3: name of your show?

627
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 2: Well, I got a new subscriber.

628
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 3: The fuck you're gonna subscribe to her canceled show. I

629
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 3: guess that's what people do with me.

630
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 5: That's what this show is, right, Yeah.

631
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 3: That's true.

632
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 4: I don't know why I acted like that was weird.

633
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 4: That's what everyone who's listening to this is doing.

634
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 3: Goodbye.